I Just Discovered My Father And Brothers Plotted To Ruin My Marriage r/Relationships

[@Deedoof]

7 men conspired to "get with" OP's ex wife, like she was a PS5 and not a human being. This is terrifying and could have easily become a much darker post.

[@nikkismith2858]

Especially as it was 7 against 1 in the fight with OP……it might have been 7 against 1 his wife

[@Ashbrash1998]

Conspired is the right word, because the whole thing was a CONSPIRACY.

[@kirksnowden8023]

If you think about it getting 7 men to work this hard for a single woman is beyond ridiculous. It almost mob mentality.

[@WhitneyDahlin]

It's heartbreaking. They destroyed OPs life and the wife's life. They broke up a family because they were jealous he had a beautiful wife who loved him, and they had so little respect for him they didn't think he deserved her. The envy ate them up inside and they destroyed his marriage. Spitting poison in his ear. If I was the wife in that situation I would forgive him and give him another chance after he went to therapy for awhile. Obviously I'm not saying she's in the wrong for not doing that. But if I was in this situation I would give him another chance. Also since his father and brothers were in on it, I think they've been abusing him his whole life and he didn't even know. They probably called it "teasing". But there's no way he would have such low self esteem if his family's behavior wasn't a pattern. What a terrible betrayal by so many people.

[@paulman34340]

@@WhitneyDahlinBest OP can do is NC all of them, go get help and apologize to his Ex! As the Late Robin Williams was said to have said "I'd rather be alone, then with someone who makes me feel like I want to be" (Actually "I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel all alone.”. and from a movie, but it can apply to real life, especially looking at his life leading up to his end! 😥) to which OP should ask "Is there ANY benefit to remain in contact with these people!" The brothers are disgusting, but a PARENT going after their child's SO is a line that I feel deserves a 1 way ticket to HELL! Especially as he joined in an ACTIVE conspiracy to get with OP wife! He's the worse of the bunch being the oldest and in essence the one who SHOULD HAVE THE ELDER WISDOM TO KNOW FUCKING BETTER OF THE LOT OF EM! OP and Ex are DONE as a couple! Too much garbage and toxicity for them to ever get back together (and I loved how the fools learned the HARD WAY why playing the card they did NEVER works out! For one, no ones going to quickly get with someone they've known as a FRIEND OF THEIR EX, Much less THEIR FORMER IN LAWS that fucking fast after a divorce! Them spoiling the pot made things worse as they will ALWAYS be associated with OP and that failed relationship! So at least a good thing to come out of this is they failed to succeed from the getgo because their plan was DOOMED BY DESIGN! Yeah they got their wish of OP and Ex not being together, but the end goal was to win her instead! Seriously dumb fucks just go out there and FIND your perfect woman, instead of trying to steal someone elses! That's the HEIGHT of pathetic, NOT MANLY, but just BETAZETAOMEGA Pathetic (then again, anyway using Alpha Sigma Male unironically is just SHOWING their "BETAZETAOMEGA-ness" to everyone all around!) But as said, OP owes his Ex and apologize and needs to move on from this! He still has his life and his health, and if he hangs around the Toxic Cloud that is these POS, he's going to end up. No excuses as any excuses he makes for them and why he never cut them off just shows he's suffering "Sunk Cost Fallacy" where he's still with them NOT because "They use to be nice or sometimes nice" but because "he fears SEEING HIMSELF as terrible for still hanging around such people when he KNOWS they are and always WERE terrible because it reflects poorly on himself! Digging his grave deeper and deeper trying to justify why HE made the mistake of hanging around them when he can just LEAVE!

[@errantwinds-up8uu]

Story 1: I get that OP became a toxic asshole, but I honestly can't imagine what it would be like to have ALL my family and friends conspiring against me and constantly lying about my spouse. OP's wife is of course the main victim here, but I can't help but feel for OP. What kind of family DOES that??? Edit: abusers, I guess. What a surprise.

[@xplayfan21]

I don't really feel bad for the wife. Honestly she didn't tell him that he was being gaslet and tried to helping, but no, she just took it until she couldn't anymore and then just left She's just as bad as the brother and father

[@fiyahquacker2835]

I feel like the only one that was really a victim besides his ex was the op to himself. The whole panel of 2:20 is why I can't feel bad for the op since while is sucks that his family was right about him and they used that to their advantage the lengths the op went against his ex far outweigh how toxic the ops family was to him.

[@dream6562]

@@xplayfan21 can you seriously expect different thought most people tend to agree with what the majority of the group is telling them, and in this case it 1 vs the whole group

[@cadence1151]

@@xplayfan21it appears that she did try to talk about it, but he wasn't very receptive

[@jake8748]

​@xplayfan21 not sure where you got that idea from. More than likely she did many times but OP was too much under their influence to listen.

[@VanityZERO]

Is there such a shortage of women that ALL of these men need to go after a married woman? Chainsaw Massacre family vibes. I know that’s an extreme comparison but this family is sick.

[@rf159a]

It's an ego thing with men!!

[@tatkkyo9911]

Mate poaching people see people in relationships as a more desirable person it goes both ways

[@jackspring7709]

They just wanted to ruin someone else's life. Getting with her would have been just something they could brag about afterwards and hurt OP with, if she had got with any of them. They are human garbage - but OP listened to them instead of trying to find out the truth.

[@jezebelle57]

It’s quite possible that the ex-wife is a serious hottie. They all wanted a crack at her and overestimated their own individual charm. Not only was she a successful businesswoman, she also has morals and standards. Hence she turned down every one of those seven pricks. OP really WAS easy to manipulate. By his family and friends. Knowing what he knows now, and realizing what a priceless diamond of a woman he abused and chased away, he must be gutted. I wonder if he’ll ever venture to find love again. As for the ex wife, she’s probably totally gun shy. I’m glad he told her what had happened, but if anything, it probably makes her feel worse. To know that you lost your marriage because your husband’s male family members and friends wanted to screw you, would be devastating to me. To understand that all the pain, abuse, and accusations you suffered was for no other reason than the lust of your male in laws, is unfathomable. It was pure evil emanating from a pack mentality. Would they have tried to pass her around? Starting with Daddy? I don’t think I’ve heard something this vile and frightening in quite awhile. Thank God she’s away from all of them. There’s no telling what could have happened to her. They probably didn’t expect her to be such a good and moral person.

[@miz6229]

Imagine your father-in-law conspiring to have sex with you. Gross. OP's ex-wife was a saint.

[@kimberlyterasaki4843]

Story 1: Well the toxic family was right about one thing: OP is easily manipulated. It just wasn't his wife that was doing the manipulation.

[@lynnw7155]

He can blame everyone else, but he's the one who ruined his marriage. He should not be in a relationship until he learns to think for himself.

[@politereminder6284]

True. But I can identify with him as someone from a manipulative and abusive family. My healing began with moving to a new town. When they followed me to my new town, I cut them off. One sister moved in right next to me. It's a lot of work getting free and recovering from their grooming. I have now sued them in order to separate from our shared property.

[@CyeOutsider]

But in all fairness, the situation was extreme. One manipulative family member, sure. Two even. But ALL of them? Led by dad? That's wild. In reality, the vast majority of people would have caved into that juggernaut of lies.

[@TheFlowerchild712]

I'm curious as to where the wife was manipulative. Not forgiving someone who verbally, emotionally and mentally abused you isn't manipulative, it's putting your own well-being first. He was absolutely horrendous to her for a long time. Just because she didn't forgive him, doesn't mean she needs to hate him too.

[@kichikitsu]

@@CyeOutsideri mean, i have to assume he's exaggerating (or possibly even twisting the narrative from family members trying to get him to see sense to "youre trying to say i dont have worth?! that i dont deserve my wife?! fine, ill abuse her more to prove it!!") since there is NO way they were feeding him andrew tate-talking points about telling his wife he's a "high value man" and all that bullshit. he's an insecure misogynist that ruined his own marriage by being one of those annoying ass "alpha male" bros. no one told him to do that shit, he did it himself. you cannot trust a word he says when hes someone who STILL passes the blame off to someone else like that.

[@19nmiller1]

OPs ex wife in story 1 is a saint. She dealt with a ton of verbal abuse by his hand, was caught in a pergatory of perpetual lack of trust at the hands of a coward for *years* and he tossed away their relationship even when she was begging him to care. Yet she still had the grace to meet with him and help him work through his issues. I wouldnt have been nearly as kind as her if I were in the same situation.

[@xplayfan21]

If she Was truly a saint.She would take him back and help him with his issues.But no, she's just walking away.Not really a satan my opinion

[@kichikitsu]

@@xplayfan21oh shut the fuck up. women do not exist to fix men. she's a saint for even talking to him in the first place, considering OP LITERALLY ABUSED HER.

[@IceJJFishArchive]

@@xplayfan21not after he verbally abused her for years and accused her of infidelity with no evidence, just the word of his family. She deserves better than an easily malleable man lol

[@arctiwolf857]

@@IceJJFishArchiveThe word of his family and closest friends. Think before you speak.

[@kichikitsu]

@@arctiwolf857those words being "lmao youre so worthless, i bet she's cheating and only in it for the money." he then decided that he needed to prove he was more valuable than her by emotionally abusing her and accusing her of infidelity because his family told them shes *probably* cheating bc he "has no worth." the "word of his family and closest friends" would mean something if they even actually, wholeheartedly accused her of cheating, but they didn't. they assumed it was probable bc they think OP is worthless, according to OP. use reading comprehension before you speak.

[@pennybast3953]

Well after I was married, my husband told me that he only proposed because he felt pressure to do so. I'm not going to lie, this played a part in the failure of our marriage.

[@alannahd.7417]

Story 1 is wayyy above reddits pay grade 😭

[@miminana-hd6nf]

there was another 'story that was very similar. Guy's brother convinced him his wife was cheating. When he found out he cut his brother out of his life and tried to get back with his ex but she moved on.

[@DrewLSsix]

Funny because that group is very reminiscent of a reddit incel group. Using the rhetoric to bring others down to their pathetic level, theres even stories of men destroying their relationships because they fell in with such groups, there or on other sites.

[@Swnsasy]

People on the outside don't seem to understand the concept of having 7 people telling you XYZ over and over and 1 person saying, "BUT I'M NOT, BUT I'M NOT, I'M NOT!" It's so difficult when you don't have bad blood and close to these 7 people.. It's a massive mind-fluck... It's literally an abusive relationship like any other abusive relationship and how hard to see it when it's not physical... I feel bad for him...

[@Swnsasy]

​@@miminana-hd6nfYes!!! I remember that one.. That one though, to me, was worse because HE KNEW how horrible his brother was and allowed him to do it AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN...

[@kichikitsu]

@@Swnsasydoesn't change the fact that HE chose to abuse his wife with that bullshit "alpha male" ideology. his family did not teach him to degrade his wife like that. he turned his own insecurities into his wife's problem and still says shit like "let [my family] destroy my marriage" like they personally destroyed it instead of OP *choosing to emotionally abuse his wife to prove something.* plenty of child abuse victims DON'T abuse their spouse.

[@maggpiprime954]

S2: Of all the analogies, this guy chose _Camilla and Diana??_ Camilla was _never_ in Charles' past, she was always there clandestinely, waiting. Of course OP is concerned, wondering. Guy's got no-one to blame for her doubts but himself. What a shmuck. Edit: Yeah, the comments are all saying the same as I am. Edit 2: Holy fuck!

[@robertx8020]

So he said one stupid thing...if one line is enough to break up, 99% of all ppl would be single

[@miramyth2971]

​@@robertx8020 Did you listen to the rest of the story?

[@nataliereeves3594]

End this sham of a marriage and go no contact with both manipulative families. They don't care about op only family image.

[@Ariantia]

​@robertx8020 I dunno, that one line combined with his refusal to cut ties with someone who apparently isn't that important to him would be enough to sow doubts in most people's minds. Charles cheated on Diana with Camilla and then later married her as the "love of his life".

[@Ashbrash1998]

​@@robertx8020Roght because not wanting to be married to someone still in love with someone else and only marrying you because of family protocol and because his first choice wasn't available is SO unreasonable

[@aileencastaneda3724]

These two stories are just about betrayal, lies, and manipulation. I wouldn’t forgive any of my family for destroying my marriage or “arranging my marriage” I would literally just go on our separate ways.

[@susankaempfer8427]

If this level of manipulation isn’t ghostworthy, I don’t know what is. Holy, holy crap.

[@thomasjoseph5876]

Not just about manipulation but it was done by friends and family. The people who are supposed to have your back. Story #2 with the arranged marriage twist IS CRAZY LOL. It's like top-tier Soap Opera drama.

[@kmaguire7161]

Oh no your family conspired for you to meet someone and fall in love with them. The horror.

[@Mama_Bear_of_3]

Geez! Story 2, everyone in OP's life are piece of shit! They all lied and manipulated her. As they say, "With a family like that, who needs enemies?"

[@dream6562]

I'm sorry, but is it really that bad, I look at more of the end result of things rather than the whole, but if OP is with a person who would be a good partner, I think op is just insecure as viewing herself as a place holder

[@shire1592]

Charlies did continue a relationship with Camilla while married to Diana. Charles did divorce Diana. Charlies did marry Camilla. Op's husband confessed that Val is his Camilla, the love if his life. He is using Op to placate his family. When he figured out what his parents were doing, rather than be honest with Op, he allowed and helped his parents manipulate her. They're all disgusting. The grotesque betrayal and condescension that Op has been treated with makes me want to cry. I can't image the rest of her marriage not being manipulated by her parents and in laws from behind the scenes for as long as it lasts.

[@Swnsasy]

​@@dream6562 Here's what I posted: Last story I think people are missing a VERY important part.. The HUSBAND DID NOT KNOW EITHER... He didn't know until AFTER they got engaged and thought SHE KNEW.... Their marriage, their feelings are REAL but the start is the problem.. I really hope that she doesn't divorce him and sit down and tell him how no, I didn't know and I don't know how to process this.. This doesn't have to be a divorce.. The husband did not manipulate her at all..

[@Swnsasy]

​@@shire1592I think what he meant was, again, because he thought she knew, Charles had a history with Camilla but his family was like hell no. He then met OP and a month INTO their relationship the PARENTS started scheming.. That's what he more than likely meant by that reference.. Remember, he didn't figure it out himself until WHEN he told his parents he was going to save for a ring.. Their relationship is real.. Love etc, that's all them.. He thought she knew! Why would she leave him over that??

[@GMAMEC]

Are you kidding me? There are a lot worse things that could have happened to OP. He isn't abusive and appears to love her tremendously. She wasn't forced to marry her husband, she actually fell in love with him.

[@nicolasfrazier170]

Honestly, even though he was awful, OP 1 is learning and growing, and unlike most accepted he is not owed forgiveness. Genuinely hoping the best for him.

[@yesthatmousyiris4887]

Agree I hope OP gets therapy and find peace with the lessons learned for his sake.

[@videofan1010]

It blows my mind that he even thought forgiveness was an option though... He was pretty awful to his wife.

[@marktwain2053]

He wasn't awful, his family was.

[@dream6562]

I don't think op is at fault thought, for ending the marriage yes, but for everything else, who can expect him to act differently when you're being gaslit by a whole group that are supposed to care about you

[@iljuro]

@@marktwain2053 He was pretty awful to his wife.

[@diannamacdonald3716]

Story 2: I am disgusted parents would do this to their own daughter. I do not believe the husband “loves her now” and I do believe she is a placeholder.

[@Sparky0627]

Did you miss where she CHEATED on him and married the AP.? No man will ever take a cheater back. Ever. Once a cheater, always a cheater.

[@kichikitsu]

@@Sparky0627considering he willingly compares her to camilla and refuses to cut contact with the cheater bc "we have a cordial relationship," i think you're speaking for "all men" a bit too much buddy.

[@aphelion4616]

@@Sparky0627 Well, you missed the entire actual context of the story...

[@Burncsb]

@@Sparky0627 hahaha do you have any ideia how many do take cheaters back? 'No man will ever take a cheater back' is about the most false sentence you could type down.

[@AJSSPACEPLACE]

@@Sparky0627you are factually wrong. I believe you lack experience dealing with real life.

[@zachf748]

I’m curious about the dads intentions, because apparently the dad was the driving force behind it. Brothers / friends wanted a chance to hook up, but if that old man did it because he thought he had a chance of booking up with his DIL, than he’s the sickest, most evil and perverted one of the bunch. And that’s saying a lot, because everyone in that group is about as despicable as possible.

[@pippo17173]

Wonder if dad is a divorcy here because of it.

[@avaphynx]

Red pill talking points really do mess up men's relationships. Op in story 1 the guys around him fed him into that bs.

[@IceJJFishArchive]

It’s weird, OPs family fed these things to him knowing his ex wife didn’t marry him for red pill nonsense. It seems like even OPs own male relatives don’t believe red pill points, but knew it would destroy the marriage lol

[@avaphynx]

@@IceJJFishArchive yeah they hope he was dûmb enough like the rest who follow that mess. Will fall for it lol the amount of times I've seen guys realize this won't help them with women or keeping relationships. On Reddit is kinda funny but very sad.

[@snake5solid]

@@IceJJFishArchive Because of the abuse of his father OP surrounded himself with abusive, manipulative people and they just wanted him to be miserable (as OP apparently was successful financially). It definitely didn't help that their ego took a hit after getting rejected by her and being proved wrong about her character.

[@localvega688]

That is very true. OP probably wouldn't have gone along with it himself had it not been from the years of gaslighting from the people he thought loved him.

[@Zaddy-Lu]

I'm from a very conservative family in an isolated religious community in the Midwest USA. When I was 16, my parents found a love letter to my first girlfriend. They kept me locked up in the house for 2 years, only leaving for church & helping my mom buy groceries. When I turned 18 they tried to arrange a marriage for me as quickly as possible, but my mom insisted I needed to be a pastor's wife, so it was taking some time to find a pastor that wanted me, they all said I wasn't submissive enough. So I told my parents I was called to be single & a missionary, so I was allowed to attend a "missionary boot camp." Then, from there, I moved in with a friend from the "boot camp." That's how much work & fear I had to go through to escape an arranged marriage. The average American doesn't realize how often arranged marriages occur in deeply religious communities. EDIT to add: I forgot to mention I was "homeschooled" It's in quotes because my schooling was learning how to be a mother & housewife ("the only education I would need"). I learned to read from reading the bible, recipes, and sewing/clothing patterns. My math was clothing patters, crocheting, adding up how much our groceries costed so that I would known the proper amount of change we should get (so the "of thr world" cashiers couldn't steal from us), and in some way multiplying recipes to feed my large family. My days were parenting my younger siblings (I was the eldest daughter), laundry, cooking, sewing, and waiting on my mom who was always sick & in bed, and usually pregnant. So when I say I was basically on house arrest, I was truly locked in 24/7. I wasn't even allowed to walk to the mailbox because "something sinful" might arrive, and since I had already "given Satan a foot hold" and "allowed myself to be possessed by the demon of homosexuality" they were afraid a clothing magazine with underwear ads in it, or a letter from my gf, etc. Would arrive and cause me to "be lost forever"

[@simonO712]

_So_ glad you got out of there!

[@chinxian]

I'm so sorry, I'm really happy you can get out from that.

[@jackspring7709]

What they did was despicable and unforgivable. That being said, OP - you listened to them. If they were telling you she cheated you could have easily looked into it for yourself: you didn't. Look on the bright side: at least she's rid of the whole lot of you and you've learned a valuable lesson.

[@terickastidbits2342]

He did look- that’s why he had so many arguments with his ex wife

[@shylavender]

@@terickastidbits2342No he didn’t look into it at all. Where did you get that from?! Because it sure wasn’t in the story. He simply listened to the nasty lies being put into his ears! That’s not proof.

[@squirrel670]

​@@terickastidbits2342 Looking into it means to find evidence/examine the information closely. The arguments were over his insecurities. A lot of what they told him was bs and had nothing to do with her directly or factually. Saying a woman like her would never go for a man like you without money. You have no money? She's definitely cheating on you now. That's some trash people online can tell you and know nothing about you or your partner.

[@terickastidbits2342]

@@squirrel670 I don’t disagree with you. However from his perspective of his dad told him his wife was cheating and he goes back to his wife like are you cheating on me, tries to find evidence in her phone, etc - that’s literally looking into it. He’s an idiot because when he didn’t find anything instead of letting it go he just refused to accept the lack of evidence

[@terickastidbits2342]

@@shylavender he talked to his wife about it- that’s looking into it. Finding proof and looking for proof are NOT the same thing - duh

[@bessieburnet9816]

Story 2: "Has a Camilla" Well, that's a unique way of putting it. As a Brit: 😬

[@jessilynallendilla5014]

as an American it took your comment for me to get it

[@cuculain78]

As an American who grew up in the 80s when Charles and Diana got married, it was crystal clear what was meant by Camilla.

[@jessilynallendilla5014]

@@cuculain78 born in 96 misheard Carmilla and thought "what do vampires have to do with this" then heard Dianna and Charles and thought the drama was like from some popular book or something I haven't heard of

[@cuculain78]

@@jessilynallendilla5014 In the 80s everyone was talking about Charles and Diana all the time on TV and magazines so you would have gotten the reference if you grew up then.

[@bautistalover]

@@cuculain78I was born in 88 and understood the reference.

[@dimsufferer9951]

What the hell is wrong with OP 2’s parents?

[@pippo17173]

The family of both op and the ex husband are legit monsters. Arrange marriage at its worst.

[@lusnoct4298]

Like OP said, they're conservative and Christian. They don't view their children as people, but as objects they can use to maintain the image they project.

[@kichikitsu]

@@lusnoct4298and they absolutely already viewed her as "broken" for being autistic, so along with "thinking she was gay" (for, no doubtedly, being autistic and showing it, instead of ACTUALLY being gay or bi), they probably felt like they *needed* to "fix" her.

[@lusnoct4298]

@@kichikitsu That's a good point. Hate to think about the sort of pressure they'll put on her, along with her husband, if she stays with him.

[@simonO712]

They're conservative Christian Republicans. While there are of course plenty of exceptions, that's a combination that's often accompanied by a whole bundle of red flags.

[@thekameru6058]

I hope the first guy is happy with the life he has chosen. He put that poor loving, supportive women through misery.

[@simonO712]

Why would he be happy when he fully realizes just how much he messed up?

[@VFKAdventureRabbit]

Good gravy, story2 OP was just destined for unhappiness thanks to this mess of people around her. The Camilla analogy is horrible since Diana was a placeholder figurehead for appearances and Camilla was always there lurking nearby as the "true" love.

[@paulastiles5507]

I know, right? Imagine actually believing all that nonsense Buckingham Palace puts out about how Charles and Camilla were star-crossed lovers instead of cheating hos. And if the rumors about William are to be believed (I sure hope not, for his wife and kids' sakes), he's doing the same thing with Kate's BFF. This is not true love. It's gross entitlement.

[@luvondarox]

S1 Oh, man. That poor woman. I couldn't fathom forgiving OP either, but I hope OP would consider therapy and moving on and beyond his ghastly family. I hope they may possibly become friends or friendly some time in the future, but there's no way I could ever imagine she'd be able to rusty him ever again.

[@LaineyBug2020]

S2- This one breaks my heart. Everyone lied to her, treated her like a child. I wouldn't be able to trust if I even actually loved him or if they just conned me into it by a conspiracy of love bombing! Not to mention the fact that he's falling all over himself to ask he if he can do anything for her yet refuses to cut off his dear Camilla! This one makes me feel all sorts of things! 💔🤮🤬🙅‍♀️🤯🙍‍♀️😈🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

[@samanthacarpenter3336]

As someone on the autism spectrum, my parents also thought that I might be gay because of my disinterest in dating and lack of effort to be overly feminine. Us just trying to be comfortable in this world and our lack of sticking to what is considered socially normal behavior tends to throw people who don’t understand autism in women, off.

[@DrownedInExile]

Yikes. OP didn't have a family, he had a crime syndicate! That said, you can only lead a horse to water, you can't make him drink. OP is a jerk for not having the slightest bit of skepticism. I'm glad he cut off all the cancers and apologized to his ex. But I'm more glad his ex isn't taking him back. That ground is scorched forever.

[@localvega688]

I disagree with it being OP's fault, as clearly gaslit and abused for years by them.

[@Aziara86]

I feel bad so bad for the first OP. That was me. My abusive parents (mother especially) were jealous of my healthy relationship and did their best to destroy it by giving horrid advice. It's been 10 years and we're still not back to the same level of healthy relationship because of the shit I pulled.

[@8LyJu8]

It is hell on Earth. I'm planning on moving to another continent to escape them. I hope you have peace, despiste any kind of problem there is yet to solve

[@truthseeker9249]

Join the party. My family hasn't tried to ruin my relationship but all they've ever done is not appreciate or truly love me and treat me like a burden but still use whatever they can get out of me when it's convenient. That all ends the second I move out of my mother's house and in with my boyfriend. She can have fun taking care of our crumbling house and my sick grandmother all by herself from now on.

[@allisoncastle]

Umm I feel worse for the wife he verbally abused.

[@moonlightauras1]

Damn, two stories where the OPs families were literally conspiring against them in their marriages.

[@HaliaStone]

Why are there such an abundance of stories of people trying to ruin other people’s marriages? How boring is your life you need to do this? I mean, I’ve seen this, OP’s a dumbass, but my point still stands.

[@pippo17173]

Ya op is flat out dumb. However I can see why he is like this now because this is what happens when you grow up with them and think its normal till they said *ya no this is pretty bad.*

[@8LyJu8]

Power play. Also, it vecomes kind iof a game: when you are treated in such way, specially by a parent, everyone starts to dehumnize you. So it is just for fun, and because they think yiu don't deserve any kind of happines and, even less, someone on your side because, if someone supports you, their control over you will break.

[@WyntheRogue]

Power play/assertion of dominance with a hint of the ol' Crab Bucket analogy, no matter how many times one will make a break to the top, it'll get yanked down back into the bucket. Narcissists often do this with their targets of abuse, they'll see their punching bag happy and ready to thrive/break free from their control and feel the need to pull them down to "Put them in their place." Narcs thrive on keeping their victims miserable/under their thumb.

[@ironman_546]

OP was brainwashed into compliance. Thats not stupidity.

[@ruaine83]

Usually either jealousy or power.

[@LovesGaming37]

I hope the OP leaves his ex alone. That poor woman went through hell and he doesn't deserve a second chance. He was weak and allowed others to pour poison into his ears while ignoring his wife

[@Kicksncoffee1983]

Me: what kind of parents would manipulate their child into an arrange marriage because they were worried their child maybe gay? OP2: my parents are conservative, white, Christian Republicans Me: there it is. 🙃 I feel so bad for OP

[@impishrebel5969]

I mean, compared to the other arranged marriage stories we've seen on here, all they really did was encourage and act positively toward the suitor, give money, clean houses, and help them out with errands. /clutches pearls That is a far cry from the other arranged marriage stories which are downright nightmares. So is it really an arranged marriage or more like one of those silly hallmark rom coms where the families are like "omg let's set these two up"

[@Kicksncoffee1983]

True but his parents only did this so the husband will stop dating his Camilla, who he still talks to. If her parents would have told her from the beginning about this and let her make her own choice it would be a different story.

[@debbipriz]

the behavior, such as this, of 'white, conservative, republicans', is one of the biggest reasons this country (USofA) has so many of the problems it has today. OP should feel lucky they hadn't lined up a conversion camp for her, just in case....or had they? The world will never know.

[@allisoncastle]

@@impishrebel5969 Seriously???

[@thylionheart]

Story 2: if I found out that my parents arranged my marriage because they were “afraid I was gay and wouldn’t have children” I would never speak to them again. No question. That’s so manipulative, homophobic, and selfish.

[@HobieInTheBox]

EXACTLY WHY AREN'T THERE MORE COMMENTS ABOUT THIS

[@user-blob]

Completely agree. WTAF!?!

[@AJSSPACEPLACE]

I would’t speak to anyone in the situation. the love is fake. It really doesn’t matter how close they’ve gotten or what they’ve done together. it’s based on a falsehood. in my mind. there would’ve never been a marriage to begin with, and i genuinely would seek annulment. this would make me throw away everyone i had ever known, and i probably would spiral down into years of depression.

[@allisoncastle]

@@HobieInTheBox Because this community doesn’t really care about things like homophobia. At least in my experience.

[@lockhak33]

​@HobieInTheBox I think it's at least partly because of how crazy the first story was and because a lot of people didn't even listen to the whole video

[@shadowsaiph]

Story 2: What is it with parents that are obsessed with forcing their children into marriages and then trying to force them to have grandkids. Its so sickening and totally inappropriate.

[@rajaujla667]

Story 2 - I feel so bad for OP. I hope she gets some help, she needs a therapist who knows how to work with an autistic person to help her figure out how she feels and how she can deal with this mess. I hope she doesn’t alone with no one to support her.

[@Wulfyr]

Well OP's family was right about one thing. He's easily manipulated. Just not by his (ex) wife.

[@Russman67]

I'm just getting my head around his friends and his family not only got him to break up his marriage, but then tried to get with her themselves. I'm not sure which is worse, the fact that he is basically silly putty In human form, or that he's related to pit vipers.

[@localvega688]

That was his DAD who as spearheading this against OP. OP as the victim of people who abused his trust.

[@EmmyKirk14]

Story 1 and 2: With families like this, who needs enemies.

[@floraposteschild4184]

Story 1: As much as your family was to blame, the main person to hold accountable is YOU. You have poisoned your relationship. Why would your wife want contact with you in your current state? You have so much growing to do. If she is wise, she got out of town (90% sure it's a small one), and is not looking back.

[@SymbioteMullet]

Wow, this one was the Betrayal Olympics...

[@DrownedInExile]

Darth Traya sends her regards.

[@ellorasg4525]

Story 1: I am glad OP's wife is safe.

[@joshuapierce3085]

Story 1: I don't think OP's ex actually understands forgiveness. It sounds to me like she is a natural at it. She didn't hold a grudge and wished him the best. Forgiveness doesn't mean forgetting the wrongdoing, it means not holding it against the person. She doesn't hold it against him, but she also knows that the past is in the past and what's done can't be undone. She may not actually feel like she has forgiven by her definition of forgiveness, but to me, it sounds like she has already explicitly forgiven him. A rose by any other name...

[@simonO712]

I know right? :P

[@shadamyandsonamylover]

I had the same thought lol

[@s4rcelle]

Story 2 is my worst nightmare omg 😭

[@affsteak3530]

Right? Autistic people are under so much pressure to accept what NT people in their lives tell them. "He's part of the family! You two are so good together. When's the wedding? You must be so excited!" Rosemarty's Baby marriage minus the Satanism.

[@catsncrows]

S1 I went and looked at the original post and there was a fairly large amount of conversation about how he called himself a high value man. I wonder how much collateral damage there will be over time on relationships due to what I call the cult of the tater😑

[@cmsxcb]

"She's Camilla. You're Diana". Yeah - 'cos that worked out well with absolutely no tragedy or drama! Jeez, some people!

[@sandyberger-r9j]

Forgiving someone doesn’t mean you have to let them be part of your life again. I forgave my ex with my whole heart because he comes from a toxic family, but I don’t want to deal with him or his family ever again. Feeling compassion does not equal being a doormat.

[@christinesinclair6938]

S1: OP1 will never get her back, but at least she'll get vindication that she never did anything wrong. OP1 is an idiot, but hopefully he'll be able to move forward and build something new away from his family. S2: YIKES. Ugh, OP2 was betrayed by everyone! She really ***IS**** Diana! (btw, noticing a theme that the family friggin' sucks in both stories today)

[@RequiemPoete]

Story 1: Crows. The only reasonable response is a flock of Crows.

[@Hope_this_is_just_a_dream1994]

Exactly

[@jgw5491]

Or to use the traditional term, a MURDER of crows.

[@joy4210]

@@jgw5491i believe that was what the og commenter was referring to 😂 very clever!

[@melindaflick631]

It must be crushing to find out your FAMILY hate you enough to do that to you.

[@ClipperHorizon]

"I've been heartbroken since." She's been heartbroken for two years and you didn't give a crap. She's not coming back, buddy.

[@luciferandassociates9255]

Story 1: Yeah that's small cult level of gaslighting. Boy needs some help to over come all that.

[@MimosaRose]

Story 2- your biggest clue is his description “ She is Camilla and you are Diana” 😢

[@rf159a]

Story 2: You're right Mark, the only one OP can talk to is a Professional and just get it all out. Is there any answers to this? I really don't know but I believe OP may be in therapy a long time if she decides to go!!

[@MisterNightfish]

Story 1: Never let people outside your relationship ruin your relationship. If you need it ruined that bad, do it yourself, at least then you know who to blame.

[@hiro4344]

Final story: Trying to set people up on a date is one thing, but getting whole families involved in getting them married? Scary.

[@stoneman8387]

S1: How much OP must have gotten used to this abuse to swallow all the lies and ruin his marriage. On the other hand, how broken are the men around him. Everyone was trying to get his ex laid. What a broken family. The only good thing is OP could apologize and get some clarity.

[@untiedshoelaces2588]

Story 1: This is why you never go to family or friends with relationship issues.

[@olgar.6604]

Hard disagree with the "never". It obviously depends on your friens and family, and maybe on how seriously you take their advice (looking at it as just one different perspective is not the same as following their advice to the letter). But most importantly it depends on the issues one has in the relationship. When there is abuse, it is a great help if one's family/friends help you 1) see how bad the situation is 2) stop blaming yourself and 3) come up with an exit strategy because dealing with abuse alone is very difficult. Much better if there are people to support you.

[@AndyyWithAY]

I was called 300lbs and a land whale today even though I'm not even 200lbs. The answer to someone erroneously thinking I was body shaming was to try to body shame me. The whole thing was hilarious to me, but it's wild the things people justify. Life in this internet age 😮‍💨🤣🤣

[@grievernoctis2238]

Don't worry about those people, have a good day

[@OnyxRose92]

People that act out of character over the interweb are ughhhhhh

[@errantwinds-up8uu]

Some people really are just aholes.

[@OnyxRose92]

@errantwinds-up8uu some perhaps but the trend tends to be, highly unfiltered online with their anonymity shield, then not being half as ugly in person

[@trilbynhiss]

Isn't it weird that the biggest insult these smooth brains can come up with is "you're fat!" "Yeah, I might be fat but I can lose weight. You're going to be stupid till the day you die."

[@BraveryWing26]

I also didnt see the story ending up any other way but I love OP went NC with this "Family"

[@terriwetz6077]

My first marriage ended in divorce after my husband decided to listen to his two brothers. They were upset with me because I'd limited their time with him when he was having serious side effects from really aggressive chemotherapy. They would insist on taking him out, doing all kinds of things, right after having a treatment and he would be so sick afterwards. Of course they didn't see or help with any of that and instead labeled me as being controlling and trying to split the family. Despite my saying they were more than welcome to visit as much as they wanted, they were hellbent on pushing me out. It finally worked and a year after his last chemo treatment we divorced.

[@Geallach83]

S1: I'm so happy that the ex-wife has a brain and a backbone. Just because OP was manipulated doesn't mean the hurt that he caused her could be wiped away by an apology. They can manipulate him all they want, it was still him who acted. Zero sympathy.

[@fireblast3001]

Story 2: Honestly, I’d ask for a divorce and go low contact, or maybe even no contact, with the family. The entire relationship’s foundation is built on manipulating and half-truths, all for the extended family’s benefit. OPs family get what they want, OP being married to a man to make sure she isn’t gay and would be able to give them grandchildren, and her in-laws get what they want, hubby married to a woman that they approved of who wasn’t Val. Even hubby comes around to their way of thinking, because he develops actual feelings for OP. Everyone is happy and gets what they want except for her.

[@madambutterfly1997]

If he genuinely loves you and truly loves you, dropping Val from his life shouldn’t be that difficult.

[@robertx8020]

Just like all his other female friends .,..and all friends that have partners (you can never know) /s

[@Nortarachanges]

@@robertx8020, you know there’s a huge difference between “female friend” and “my Camilla”

[@alexanderhenby1362]

It's not Val, it's her Son. The dude stayed in the kid's life THATS A GOOD THING

[@madambutterfly1997]

@@alexanderhenby1362 not if it's a problematic to his current relationship

[@owl7072]

I _just_ got done with my student orientation a couple of minutes ago, let's gooooooo

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Yay

[@carolroberts4614]

Well done!

[@xiimooniixmoon2988]

Story 1: wtf does he except sympathy for? 🤣 He knew what he was doing was wrong yet he kept doing it! Why on earth would he think it would be that easy to just get her back?

[@AndyyWithAY]

I assume Camilla as in Parker-Bowles. Is it Charles, Harry and William's dad had an affair on Princess Diana with Camilla. I believe they're together today. I don't see how that analogy could've been positive

[@chryssesandchaos]

True, also, Camilla is Charles first and true love, so saying to your wife that your wife is Diana and that you have a "Camilla" means, your wife is not your true love, lol!

[@8LyJu8]

​@@chryssesandchaosit us even worse: Camilla chose Diana as Charles potebtial wife because she was young and easy to manipulate. She was there with Diana teaching and showing her everything so she could become the official one. The comparision is absolutely disgusting

[@chryssesandchaos]

@@8LyJu8Hey, I know the story and I know you're lying, lol! Diana worshiper.

[@terickastidbits2342]

@@8LyJu8just complete trash

[@ToeBeanCozy]

​@@8LyJu8 Christ. I knew that whole situation was fucked, Camilla wore white to Diana's wedding for god's sake, but I didn't know it was THAT fucked.

[@skye2578]

two stories back to back about the people closest to you being untrustworthy and conspiring behind your back is enough to make a listener paranoid

[@GalaGrinsArt]

Story 1: It was 7 vs 1. Seven people he trusted, Seven people who betrayed him. Some spouses are guilty of infidelity, it happens, just not this time. He worked with the information he was given and based it on the merit of the people giving it to him. Was he a good husband? I wouldn't say so based on how he acted. He was immature as instead of going to couple's counseling, or even investigating himself, he let others convince him. His crime wasn't choosing others over his wife, it was not verifying the information and trying to work it out with her himself. He was put in a horrifying situation that nobody in their right mind would consider a possibility, then made the wrong decision, and continued to make wrong decisions. The abuse he went through warped him, and he began abusing her as well. It's a tragedy is what it is. For her, she only lost her husband. For him, he has lost everyone. I wouldn't be surprised if he moved far, far away and never came back. Or worse, become a statistic. Imagine, your entire support system was poisoning you. Terrifying and Evil to the highest degree.

[@Passions5555]

I actually do feel sorry for him.

[@Boxofgravey139]

Good points.

[@truthseeker9249]

Glad to know he got some good hits on those guys though.

[@berylryder9709]

My heart breaks for OP in story 2. To be manipulated and used like that like she was a toy for their own happiness is just sick. I honestly don’t know how well I’d be able to handle finding out I was betrayed like that. The fact her parents were behind this as well makes it 1000% worse.

[@ironman_546]

Story 1: OP was groomed, essentially, into thinking his dad was always right. Besides anything else, OP was a victim stuck in the fog of a narcissistic parent. Blaming him will do no good, as the fog is hard to escape.

[@macylouwho1187]

My mom is the female version of the toxic family trying to get the spouse. This is how her family has always been to her all of their lives. One sister especially was set up to always be supported by all the rest in her quest to destroy mom’s relationships. It worked several times. My mom is no hero and she’s not been a good person, but I can certainly see where she got it from. I cut them all out years ago, and all attempts at reconciliation were harshly denied. I was always like “with family like you people-who needs enemies?” Plus just told them all they were very likely hell bound as well. You can’t do that much evil in the world to other people outside the family and get let into the good place if you were never sorry or repented. Let alone what they do to each other. Some families are like snake pits, no matter which way you turn you’re more likely to get bit than not.

[@photofreak56]

I'm not even to the update and I already hate OP. Leave the poor woman alone. She's already dealt with enough of your bullshit. All I can think is "Let the woman move on and find someone who is going to treat her like a fucking full person." Like I've met men like this they constantly belittle women and act as if they are some prize.

[@Daaaanielle]

I can only imagine what she had to put up with WHILE she was with him. Gross.

[@TailsFan]

Well, good news, OP is actually a decent person and they talked things out and separated on good terms.

[@photofreak56]

@@TailsFan Doesn't change the fact this dude really called himself "a high-value man" as a fem person that is a huge red flag. I feel for that poor woman and what she had to deal with when married to the jackass.

[@photofreak56]

@@Daaaanielle The "High Value Man" thin was enough for me to cringe

[@kichikitsu]

@@TailsFandon't call an abuser a decent person. he still refuses to admit that he, and he alone, ruined his marriage with his abuse and tries to blame it on his family. did they make him feel worthless? probably! but they DIDN'T hold a gun to his head and force him to treat his wife like shit because he needed to feel more valuable than her.

[@mandyj2809]

Story 1: The family said what they said, but OP did what he did. He didn’t have to act the way he did to his wife. He could have been genuine in communicating his insecurities, but no, he chose to be toxic. His family all suck for what they did, but so does he. OP’s wife is so justified in not forgiving him. I hope he gets the help he needs, heals, and does better in the future though.

[@ripples2.0]

Story 1: OPs family didn't ruin his marriage. HE did it by listening to them and allowing his insecurities and paranoia to control his actions. Not saying his family doesn't suck, because they do, but he still made his choices.

[@msmaam2040]

S1: as much as I understand OP and the circumstances that led to him believing his trash family, I can't feel much pity for him as it is his own decision to act that way towards his ex wife and eventually be the cause for the divorce. Instead of acting like an adult and sitting down to discuss with his ex wife, he'd rather let things stew and act like a brat towards her.

[@kountzanthony7021]

With family like this who need enemies.

[@cpaul9269]

S2 - Why would he get back in touch with someone who cheated on him? He never actually answered OPs original question, either. Totally inappropriate to stay in touch. Holy shit! Her parents arranged her marriage without telling them?! Her husband never mentioned having figured it out?! OMG I'd be off my shit, and never speak to any of them ever again. For real. Holy cow. Another family ruined by organized religion.........

[@SherriLyle80s]

S1: This is what you dont go talking to your family about your relationship problems. His brothers are right, OP IS easily manipulated.

[@izegaegbe]

Story 1: Congratulations, you played yourself.

[@CareyBilley]

Moral of the story, never fully trust friends and families advice.

[@TheFlowerchild712]

Story 1: While I feel bad for OP. He was so abusive to her and that's what ended the marriage. I can’t blame her for not forgiving him. Story 2: Of all the relationship analogies, he used cheating Charles and Camilla... what an absolute buffoon. Holy hell, what is wrong with OP's and her husband's families?! ❤

[@JustAthena1]

If I were the wife, I wouldn't get back with him. I learned my lesson with being around people who are easy to manipulate. One rumor, and they flip like a switch and will turn on you no matter what proof you have . How would she know if he will do the same thing again? I'm happy he dropped them

[@Graves933]

Story 1: don't try to get her back. Tell her you fucked up by not trusting her and believing everyone else. She won't want you back knowing you treated her like garbage because the boys manipulated you. Go to her and tell her the truth without any expectations, she deserves to know it was in no way her fault.

[@andreavanhoof6047]

Story 1: OP you are the absolute AH! You do not deserve another chance with her because you burned that bridge! She might forgive you but will never trust you again! She will never give you another chance!

[@hilarymurray8741]

Husband and Camilla story : OP, you deserve so much better than this. Your husband told you who he is when he made that awful comparison and told you you are Diana. Doubtless he enjoys having the attention of two women, one, a wife approved of by his parents and the other 'hanging onto his coat tails', but it is no happy marriage for you. The fact that he will not cut ties with Camilla says it all. Diana went through so much heartbreak in the public eye by trying to out up with the horrible situation she was in while her husband was carrying on with Camilla and his family was not stopping him. Learn from what happened to her. When your husband says that this Val is Camilla, he means that he intends carrying on with her and making you desperate and he clearly does not love you if he thinks it is alright to do this. Do not put up with it. Do not expose yourself to what Diana went through. Take charge of your own future and self respect and extricate yourself from this humiliating and degrading situation, now that you know all about it. Your husband's comparison is, effectively, an admission of adultery or intention to feel entitled to follow through on that behaviour, as your lawyer can maintain. You are not a brood mare for your inlaws. Take back your life and use Diana's experience to avoid it, and your husband, so that you can find someone who truly loves you, and only you, and in whose love you can be happy. Let Camilla have your wretch of a husband. You really deserve so much better. Huge hug.

[@GMAMEC]

1st Story- OP has a chip on his shoulder. He's got some self esteem issues

[@littlegreycat]

3:19 there's no getting her back. He needs to do so much work on himself. Eventually he will be ready for a mature relationship again.

[@browhattheactualfu-2659]

Yeah I didn't see story 1 ending with them back together. Better luck next time, I suppose

[@ineedhoez]

Wow.... two stories about family betrayal. Lies abd deceptions but with different intended outcomes.

[@albertgongora6944]

Man I'm not going to lie The original poster in that first story is a whole other level of being a dumbass when it came to him just buying into what his dad and his siblings were literally feeding him about his wife possibly cheating on him or only choosing to be with him cuz he's financially stable I can't believe he bought into that I can maybe understand like okay yes all his life he was raised to believe that his family is right but it's like come on man after you land yourself a relationship with somebody that was willing to stick with you to the point of marriage even though she saw how toxic your family was and she tried to save you from that and you still couldn't break for you of that yeah no wonder the ex-wife bounced out of that marriage and said no I'm not turning back even if you're finally seeing the light I don't blame her cuz I know if I was in that situation I wouldn't turn back or hell even if I was the original poster I wouldn't even blame my ex I do wish nothing but the best going forward for the original poster but it's such a shame that he let somebody slip away from him that sounded like such a great person that he was married to all because he's stupidly decided to listen to something that held no evidence coming out of the mouth of his dad and his siblings and his whole entire family

[@hodgeelmwood8677]

Story 1: "I trusted all these men!" But you MARRIED your wife, if you trusted her enough to marry, why would you not trust her when someone NOT IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP says negative things about her? Dude needs deep therapy.

[@heathercontois4501]

Story 2- WTAF!! How dare they?! They put both of them in this position and with his comparison comment, I have zero trust in him or their families to support her through what's most likely to come next.

[@zarahfrancisco3734]

story 2 is a roller coaster holy shit! I hope OP updates. It's the craziest story I have heard so far. I hope she figures out what to do and find peace and happiness.

[@alarmedregret]

I was literally about to read this story on Reddit when I noticed the time. 'Huh, I wonder if there's a new video yet,' and voila! Now, I can do my work and get my daily dose of drama. Huzzah!

[@cmsxcb]

Story 1: The ex-wife already has "closure"... it's known as "divorce".

[@dm9078]

What do you want to bet the ex wife warned this idiot that his father and brothers were lying to him?

[@localvega688]

Story 1. Wow, that has to be the worst way a father can betray their son. He is 100 percent the victim here and should go full John Wick on all of them for what they did. I would also like to know what happened to his mom... 😨

[@airaz1235]

Story 2: 15:37 All I can think of is the last episode of Hazbin Hotel when Lucifer confidently says, "You messed with my daughter, and now I'm going to F**k You!" After an arkward pause, Charlie just tells him, "It's F**k You UP, dad." Luci just innocently turns to her and responds, "Oh, what did I say?" Then Adam lungues him (probably pissed the short king didn't actually intend to f**k him)

[@KCanbutwont]

Does that chap NOT know what he inferred when he made that camilla and dianne comment?! That's awful! "She's the one I wanted but your the one I had to marry!"

[@GabrielleHayes1921]

1) OP must've married Aphrodite herself for EVERYONE trying to take her away and sleep with her.

[@marktwain2053]

1. NTA (at least, not completely). I can't even imagine trying to ruin my son's, brother's, friend's, or for that matter, a stranger's, marriage to get to their wife. Maybe help them get OUT of a BAD marriage, but it would be at their request. Something like this would be unforgivable. I can understand the ex not wanting to get back with OP, but forgiveness is more for you than the one who wronged you, forgive, but never forget, and part of not forgetting, is to not give them the chance to do it again.

[@matthewbrowatzke6024]

I am happy that op is getting help and cutting ties with his family and friends but he can learn from his mistakes

[@TheOddityFair]

S1 - Well, at least OP is getting help now. Better late than never. S2 - This is a lot. Obviously, both families are to blame for this happening in the first place, but the husband made it worse. His Camilla-Diana analogy keeps repeating in my head. That & him low-key gaslighting OP into thinking it doesn’t matter. It DOES matter! Worst of all, no one seems to care about how this has completely devastated OP. I can only pray that she gets the help she needs, & makes a choice she can be content w/ if not happy.