My Husband Had An Affair So I Plotted My Revenge With Friends r/Relationships

[@Mario-SunshineGalaxy64]

Second OP had way too many snakes in her garden. Boyfriend only changed his tune after he thought that there was a chance that OP might find another gamer guy to be her boyfriend. Best friend is a spineless weasel, all their “support” was performative and for self gain. He doesn’t see OP as a friend, he sees her as an option. Roger is an insecure man that feels inferior to his wife so he lashes out at other women to make himself feel better, probably the reason he hangs around people that are marginally younger than him, so he can pretend he’s a hot shot. OP made a wise decision to just leave the group, she was shown that she was disposable and I don't see the point of going back.

[@thatjeff7550]

Honestly, it sounded like a whole bunch of high school drama to me.

[@MaryTheresa1986]

I said in another comment that OP should proceed with caution with her boyfriend, but now I think she should just dump him. She's young and can find someone better.

[@stirrednotshaken4823]

I want to know why Roger has so much free time just because his wife makes bank. Did she tell him he didn’t need to work because she makes enough? Or did he decide that since she earns so much, he didn’t need to work so hard, maybe has a part time job? And he wants to bash women as back stabbers. Did his wife cheat on him with a higher earner…because her husband doesn’t put in the effort to make more money? It all boils down to him being a kept man!

[@ElleD308]

And the best friend!!! Wtf.....

[@FlipTheBard]

Sounds to me like OP is in a group full of incels.She can definitely find way better than those losers.

[@owl7072]

Story 2: "Why can't you just stay and participate more often?" He says, after telling her to not participate and repeatedly excluding her

[@marysmith-ps7uj]

Roger sounds like one of those "incel" type guys. He probably couldn't get a date if he tried. Boyfriend is a real pill. Move on hon. Life goes on!

[@nineblackgoats]

Schrodinger's gamer, participating and excluded at the same time.

[@jamie151-d9j]

@@marysmith-ps7uj yeah, it was a surprise that roger is married

[@sevenember3332]

All I could think is, “what in the incel hell?!” when hearing about Roger. And then to hear that he’s married and *still* has these views?! And I’m hurt for op because not a single person called him out on his awful comments when she was sitting right there

[@ginathecookie]

Anyone wonder if the wife even knows what Roger is like? Or knows but is stuck or knows but has internalised misogyny None of the options are good

[@Russman67]

Story 2: Roger has essentially ostracized OP from the group. And the boyfriend did nothing. After the update, the boyfriend should be happy that OP and he are still together, though I wouldn't be surprised if their relationship has an expiration date coming up soon. But hey, then he can play with Roger all the time!

[@Feynix4]

I wish she would dump him, she deserves so much better than her sucky "boyfriend"

[@Sassy_Kat]

Totally agree. She needs to ditch the boyfriend and the bestie, neither is a true friend and will only act like they truly care, if it’s to their benefit. My male best friend growing up and up our early thirties was a true blue bestie. We never had issues like that between us. He was ride or die or get out the way, til the end. Sadly, we lost him in our early 30’s.

[@vanzy01]

💯👍🏿

[@marshawargo7238]

They are all, including the two oldest ones, still in their high school mind set. They haven't experienced much adulthood yet. Heck they don't even have summer jobs to supplement what their parents don't pay for when school is in session! Basically babies playing at being adults! & Roger is probably telling his wife he's volunteering at homeless shelters & soup kitchens or the pound/ animal shelter!

[@paulman34340]

Yeah, Roger and his supporters would be unfriended with me the moment HE started the problem! Since OP mentioned that Roger took OFFENSE to her taking OFFENSE to him and SHE'S the one being treated like she's the problem! Their just taking advantage of her saying nothing to get away with not admitting "they picked Roger" and BF is whining now because OP chose not to take it anymore being excluded and is looking for a new group (at least when OP said nothing and was excluded, he could lie to himself that "he took no sides" in a situation where NOT taking his GF side over Roger's is pretty much "taking Roger's side!" and he's only upset now because he has to acknowledge it now! As said, at least when OP was just being quiet, he could justify his shitty spinelessness and have his cake where her moving to a different group makes him nervous because she might start questioning their relationship and he has to finally ACKNOWLEDGE hes the SHITHEAD hence treating OP like SHE'S the one causing problems when it was ROGER who started it first and HE & the GROUP enabled Roger by sticking to him and tricking themselves into thinking OP saying nothing means they don't have to exile HER publically and admit they love Roger more! (As the Text showed) It's like an abuser who beats their victim up, but get upset when the victim cries because THEY feel shitty for hitting them! Not going to stop the abuse, but it signals just how much MORE of a POS the abuser is because they KNOW what their doing is wrong, but their doing it anyway BF is still a COWARD though because the moment Roger made that post and everyone (including OP "So-Called Friend") agreed. I would have told him that was it for me, since he wants her out, then I'm out! And I would REMIND HIM that OP never did what he was doing now, and shame the rest, ESPECIALLY OP "So-Called Friend" for agreeing to this behind her back like scumbags! And that I WILL be informing her of this on the way out! So congrats Roger! You got the group, I don't think you'll care much losing me since I'm just a drop in the bucket, but I don't wish any further contact in the future again! Instead he chose to hide this till OP DID find a new group and he "snitched now" only because he feared losing her! When this is the action in which "you get broken up over" because it shows he's a "Have his cake type" especially trying to push the blame on her (You're so quiet and said nothing so I didn't know how you feel! NO MOTHER FUCKER YOU KNEW HOW SHE FELT AND WAS BEING TREATED AND AS LONG AS SHE WAS QUIET YOU COULD LIE TO YOURSELF THAT YOU DID NOTHING WRONG WHILE PRETENDING TO BE NEUTRAL, MAKING YOU WORSE THEN HER SO-CALLED FRIEND WHO WAS ACTING LIKE HE WAS ON HER SIDE WHEN HE WAS NOT (He's whole "I'll stop playing with Roger" was never going to happen! He knew OP wouldn't put him on the spot like the scumbag Roger and would tell him NOT to do anything, so he got to GRANDSTAND so he could lie to himself as the BF was also lying to himself as well that they didn't put a knife in OP back! Can't tell WHO'S the bigger scumbag! BF is still a big one for revealing this shit AFTER the fact, like snitching now instead of ON THE DAY THE TEXT WERE MADE would change anything, makes him worse because he's doing it because he's now at risk of losing OP and so thinks doing so will avoid him getting losing her! When even the So-Called Best Friend didn't say nothing and was likely HAPPY OP left on their own and told him not to make a fuss as well so he can avoid admitting he threw her under the bus for the group and will likely be PISSED with BF for selling him up the river, not that the POS as I LOATHE backstabbing friends like him having dealt with my own "So-called Best Friend" decades past didn't deserve getting exposed for the lying weasel that he is along with the rest of the group! At least they had no relationship to OP that they can just be declared DICKS for not just telling OP they want ROGER and not her! He and BF are WORSE for doing the same then PRETENDING they care about OP so they could have their cake and eat it! Hope Roger fucks them ALL over and they collapse in on themselves as a group for their "GENIUS decision making!") I don't believe for a SECOND that Roger is gone, likely Roger "only agreed" because he didn't want BF to lose "his girl" (treating OP like a SIDE PIECE) and I say YEAH fuck him and fuck Roger! and Fuck that group! If I was OP, I'd tell now EX BF that since he loves Roger so much, I won't get in the way of their BUDDING ROMANCE when I'm sure you and the group will just be SNEAKIER with spending time with Roger (since new flash to STBX, admitting all this to OP too late now and saying you NOW did what should have been done AGES ago only AFTER the consequences are coming to roost only reflects POORLY on you) Not like it will matter what the group or Roger have to say about her! They already have their opinion likely considering her a "Witch" when all she made clear was she didn't want to be around Roger and would be avoiding him! It was THEY who chose to force a decision! Specifically Roger, but they all acted like SHE forced it and didn't feel remorse ONE BIT and STBX is worse for only doing something when his false neutrality was biting him in the ass in his insecurity that OP might leave him made him betray his "Friends" as it did when he "betrayed" OP! No one needs a WEAKLING of a Partner like that. Well hope it works for OP, her decision that is!

[@annabethsmith-kingsley2079]

love the boyfriend in story 2: why can't you both BE in the group and NOT BE in the group? you'll be schrodinger's group member!

[@user-blob]

😂👏

[@Deedoof]

Story 2: Wait, OP's friend actually _confessed_ to having a crush on her, and OP thinks driving a wedge in her relationship are unrelated??

[@destinedtogame]

I am guessing you aren't under 21, in college, and you have had several relationships. You're using your viewpoint on OP opposed to hers. She's young and inexperienced

[@lauragarza7585]

Hindsight is 2020. When you’re in it, you don’t see the problem with it and then you look back and go oooooh

[@cniknik9863]

​@@destinedtogame it's common sense or at least proper social awareness

[@carlrood4457]

What's the BFs real problem? Afraid she'll meet new people? Her solution was reasonable given the circumstances.

[@tamsel814]

Afraid she realises how much of loser he is.

[@KJ-sp9jq]

S2: OP should get a new best friend to go with the new gaming group and while at it ditch the boyfriend.

[@pippo17173]

Ya even after he turns around, that is not a good impression that it took that long to say enough is enough. I hope he means it because I'll be frank, her best friend is worst and should be kicked out.

[@a_noelle8595]

I agree. They're young, so I'm taking that into consideration.

[@ceeshnia]

Roger feels inferior to his wife because she's funding his life; instead of being happy to have a wife that allows him copious amount of time to literally play games, he's putting down all women. He probably thinks that men should hold the power in the relationship, and the money, and hopefully he will have a rude awakening when his wife says enough is enough, which I hope she does as she deserves better. Granted, this will solidify Roger's women hating, but yikes. And that "best friend" is no friend of OP's; looks like he may be bi, but the fact that he didn't stand up for OP against being excluded shows he cannot be trusted. I'm also side-eying everyone who stayed in the group with a known woman-hater; people need to be called out for their bad behavior, not catered to. Catering to them makes you complicit to their beliefs.

[@clarabp2613]

Roger's mind probably: Unga bunga men are providers. Proceeds of provide nothing.

[@trashotaku]

Yeah, that “best friend” is hella two-faced

[@britnicox3929]

2: that one commentor who said the best friend was trying to wait for OP and her boyfriend to break up after this so he could swoop in was right. I’m really really sorry for her but I’m glad she found a better group. Maybe she’ll convince the boyfriend to join her and they’ll both be free of a misogynistic garbage man like Roger. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that he’s got friends who were all young younger than 20 while he’s a 25-year-old grown ass man - makes it a lot easier to be awful to a younger group who’s less likely to call you on it and are potentially as immature as you are

[@_letstartariot]

Her new group sounds way better. A bunch of dudes who have no problem playing with a woman, and treat her like an equal. They respect her. I love that. I have a similar group of gamer friends. So much fun to be had when you are in the company of good people with a common goal.

[@sevenember3332]

Yep, I was excluded from my first long-term gaming group by my ex (gm of the group) and I eventually left him and ended up in the group I’ve been with for almost 20 years (to the day I just realized!).

[@Russman67]

Story 1: I love that OP stung her ex-husband's cheating ass with that story. She didn't have to violate her own moral code by cheating, but boy did that seed sprout in his head. Now she just needs to move on with her life and let him watch all the goodness he's missing out on.

[@MatildeVallespinCasas]

It only confirms that he cheated for ego boost

[@SunnyBurnsAll]

Sending him a list of things he could've done instead of cheating. 😂 Perfection!

[@EluneAnzu]

Story 2 update: "He said he didn't want me to go to a new group because he feared that I would leave him too for a new guy." Buddy, if she's going to leave you for a new guy for anything it'd be because you picked your friend over her.

[@KE-hr4sb]

S2: OP’s bf: “Don’t ever play with the group again!” Also OP’s bf: “Why do you need another group? You can just participate in ours! So what if they’re excluding you all week!” Also OP’s bf: “Why can’t you ever be happy?” (As OP is literally quietly looking for new groups and not complaining.) “I play with you every day!” So? She plays with HIM every day, too, by his own logic. She’s not playing with him in the group now as is, so why does he care if she doesn’t play with him but plays with someone else? Why can’t HE ever be happy? What a doorknob.

[@Dusk.EighthLegion]

"What a doorknob." That's a little harsh on doorknobs don't you think?

[@hannahdavis5725]

To the commentor saying forgive the husband; eff forgiveness. Forgiveness is earned when the person actually does the work to earn it.

[@mbyerly9680]

They mean give forgiveness far, far away from this jerk. For me, this kind of forgiveness is realizing he's no longer important enough to hate and dwell on emotionally.

[@MatildeVallespinCasas]

I think forgiveness like give closure, not to go back to him. But yes ......

[@OnewBiased]

Some people can move on and live happily out of spite. Forgiveness is not really a requirement

[@anonymouslee2083]

I would say, instead of forgiving him, just don't waste energy being angry at him and deal him the worst insult you can deal a narcissist: Ignore him and live like he never happened to you. Take his power over you away from him by not getting bent out of shape because of him.

[@ladyv5655]

Story 2: everything may be good now, but I guarantee that 1)Roger will continue to pour poison into bf's ear and feed his insecurities about OP's new friends, 2) Roger's wife will get tired of supporting his mean, lazy, misogynistic and probably cheating butt and kick him to the curb, 3) OP's new friends will help her discover, more and more, just how toxic her bf and her old friends are and will put them in her past.

[@inabruzzowithme7877]

Agreed especially point 3. I hope the new group will raise the bar regarding men for her

[@averycheesypotato]

Second story: I seriously hope the BF’s fears come true. I hope OP’s new friend group is amazing and she realizes she can do better because of it. Dump that crappy BF you’ve got, who prioritizes hateful idiots over you!

[@tomeeshahaller4226]

"Shit-weasel" is my new favorite insult 🤣

[@bunnyslippers191]

I've used it in the past. I need to take it out, dust it off, and start using it again.

[@ChrisAndCats]

Pretty unfair though. What did poor weasels ever do?

[@bunnyslippers191]

@@ChrisAndCatsNot weasels in general, just the shitweasels. They're the nasty ones.

[@GateGuys]

@@ChrisAndCats Its from a stephen king movie Dreamcatchers

[@ChrisAndCats]

@@GateGuys aha!

[@Isilily]

Story 2: I would have advised OP to be done with the group the moment they made it clear they'd rather continue to play with Roger at her exclusion than address the misogyny problem in their ranks. Don't waste your time with people who disparage women or people who tolerate that behavior.

[@InvasionAnimation]

op 2 wow bf is trash

[@hothotheat3000]

Story 2: dude is trying to control OP. He doesn’t want her to hang out with other people because he’s scared she will leave. He’s deeply insecure.

[@tallyp.7643]

Probably why he's friends with a lazy-ass loud mouth braggart who bites the hand that feeds him daily. He'll just live vicariously through Roger's put-downs and rants, silently nodding his head. Doesn't make him good just because he doesn't say it out loud. But like what we've learned with friends of cheaters, you show a lot about who you are with who you hang out with. BF is a fellow traveler who had already chosen a side; he AND the group chose Roger. His desire not to be single chose OP... WAY after.

[@madambutterfly1997]

Some best friend he turned out to be if he also agreed with Rodger. He didn't even have the decency to tell op but claims that he was tired of Rodger as well. This is an example of your words not being consistent with your actions

[@pippo17173]

Ya I knew something is up with the friend. Like that was way too easy and the update confirms he is an actually snake.

[@trilbynhiss]

I kind of suspect that Roger comes across as an "Alpha" because he's a loud extrovert that dominates the group of younger men and most likely bullies anyone that doesn't submit to his angry baboon behavior. That doesn't excuse the cowardice of the bf and best friend, of course, but I think that explains it.

[@madambutterfly1997]

@@trilbynhiss it explains that they're weak. And they only seem to have spines when it way too late

[@trilbynhiss]

@@madambutterfly1997 Well, yeah. That was the point I was trying to make.

[@madambutterfly1997]

@@trilbynhiss ofc

[@thebookofgenises]

2nd story: if there is a group of people and one person is a misogynist, they are all misogynists

[@EnDB]

OP shouldn't rejoin the gaming group. The rest dumped her without issue.

[@AutumnFire1414]

Story 2: It gladdens my heart to hear of that 2nd all-male gaming group of 15-17 years old who behaved with basic human decency and didn't exhibit misogynistic behavior to OP. How lovely.

[@orchidoxs126]

So bf told op not to play when they are playing with this other guy. They're always playing with other guy, so op can never play. So op looks for a new game friend group, and bf upset? Like what did she do? She's doing what he wanted, letting him be happy and play with his pals. She's just getting a new friend group to play with.

[@Draggonny]

I think he was trying to make her so miserable that she'd go crawling back to the group, throwing herself on Roger's mercy. Then BF gets everything he wants with no effort on his part.

[@heatheraucoin5832]

S1- When the ex original wanted full custody of the kids, I thought he doesn’t want to pay CS, but then i thought wouldn’t that interfere with him going on dates. And before the paragraph was done He changed his mind bc of that reason. He’s sad, he cheated with 10 women and she lied about having sex and he couldn’t handle it.

[@MatildeVallespinCasas]

The guy was not the brightest tool in the box, apparently

[@madambutterfly1997]

Your boyfriend has no right to be upset did you're trying to find a new group

[@Nathan_Bookwurm]

The sad thing about gamer groups is that no matter how much time you spend with them, in the end you never know who's behind the screen. One moment they're your friends, the next they're your enemies. The boyfriend, the best friend and even Roger are all two faced snakes. I've had my fair share of these kind of people too, who've played with you for years and suddenly disappear, run to another guild/group/game or turn half the server against you. As much as I miss these days, I'm also glad I stepped out of this drama, often toxic (as a women) gaming world.

[@Solarstormflare]

True, i moved to solo gaming and never looked back

[@sevenember3332]

I (f) was lucky to be the rare exception for the time (early 2000’s) and find a group of guys that didn’t tolerate that bs. We’re still playing together 20 years on and I ended up marrying the gm

[@kimberlyterasaki4843]

Story 2 update: So Roger is a raging misogynist who is only able to game because his WIFE is the breadwinner?! Fucking LOL, but also, I think OP should tell Roger's wife how he behaves when she's not around as I get the feeling she would not be happy to know her sugar baby is disrespecting her and other women.

[@stirrednotshaken4823]

I wouldn’t be surprised if his wife is out there looking for a man who actually puts in the effort to make a living too, instead of the lazy one she has at home!

[@madambutterfly1997]

Killing your kids out of spite for your ex moving on from you is pathetic

[@HaliaStone]

You just reminded me of that story where it actually did happen. I remember a comment even said ‘What’s the worst she’s gonna do? Kill the kids?’

[@madambutterfly1997]

@HaliaStone that's the story of Medea and Jason in Greek mythology.

[@SergioBicerra]

@@madambutterfly1997 I saw that! I think it was called Boo! A Medea Halloween! 😝

[@ShadowyKatz]

It's unfortunately common

[@kristinicole2055]

Pathetic? It’s fucking horrifying. People like THAT are wild and evil

[@UnwiseOwl1453]

The opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference. And the best revenge is a life well lived.

[@DragonicGamer32]

Pathetic really. Dude cheated, and now that OP is pretending to have an affair he can't handle it. He felt he was the greatest in the world and that nobody could be better than him or that OP would never give up on him. Well guess what happened. She did. She didn't actually cheat on him but it sounds like the psychological warfare is definitely working. But the kids need to be protected. Make sure they are not ammunition for this guy to try and get back at the OP because he seems like he might just do that because suddenly he is not the one hurting someone else, but the one being hurt.

[@meggammacisaacrylie7869]

I ran into a guy like Roger when I was in a D&D group back in the day. I didn't put up with his nonsense, but other people in the group liked the dude. I had been in the group longer, but couldn't deal with the sexism and misogyny, so I left and some of my other friends (men and women) joined me. We then started a new group and people joined ours rather than my old group, because we had way, more fun, being a mixed male and female group and nobody tolerated that BS. In the late 80's/early 90's, that was a big deal, as there were a lot of misogynists in D&D. Eventually, the old group died, but we didn't let the people who sat back and allowed the misogynists who drove us out join us, as we wanted none of their bullshit. 😂

[@yesthatmousyiris4887]

Good on you for starting a new group!

[@crawdaddy2004]

14:08 How is the boyfriend prioritizing OP when he plays with the other group for four to five hours EVERY DAY? He plays with OP for, what, 30 minutes?

[@faeriefire78]

#2: Everyone here sucks except OP. She was in this group for 2 years and this "new" guy edges her out with everyone's blessing? His situation sounds like he's one of those SAHHs who actually does nothing. He lives off a woman, but hates them? I think the comment about him feeling inadequate and impending divorce is spot-on. BF sucks, BFF sucks, and Roger can roger himself. BF got a huge pass that he didn't deserve. He thinks he made big steps by kicking Roger out, but in my experience that group is toast now. Likely everyone will follow Roger to a new group that excludes BF and he'll probably have some resentment toward OP that he lost his group. She was never going to win in this situation unless she just shut her mouth and played like an NPC while they bro'd out.

[@abvhrulz]

Story 2: none of those people are OPs friends. If they are ok being friends with a gross misogynist they are ok with misogyny. She deserves better. She should also get a better BF.

[@maryjanedodo]

Last story - so OP's BF & BFF all let some older guy rant sexist bs constantly without pushback, then when the woman was rightfully offended & drew a boundary they all lied to her & gaslighted her, then the BF got mad she didn't wan't to twiddle her thumbs while they all played without her?! Dump the lot of then & message Roger's wife.

[@MorganVsTheInternet]

2- Girl forget getting new gaming friends you need a new BF!

[@destinedtogame]

He owned up to his mistakes, she didn't communicate properly, and they're kids. Man, people just love calling it quits at the first form of discomfort. When did we become so weak

[@falxblade1352]

​@@destinedtogamewhen not tolerating foolishness became weakness instead of strength

[@MorganVsTheInternet]

@@destinedtogameGURL! They're 19/20 not high schoolers! he literally knew his girlfriend was being excluded because one person didn’t like her, and instead of just leaving and looking for a new gaming group with his girlfriend, he was spineless and give her sh*t for looking for a new group!

[@lulul0l039]

​@@destinedtogame Try listening this story again, OP clearly gave reasons why she was looking for a new group. BF only stood up after he realised she might end up finding someone who shares a hobby AND DOES THE BAREMINIMUM. The self serving jerk is only doing damage control and only thing he learned was that she might see how not all gamers enable this kind of treatment.

[@bunnyslippers191]

@@lulul0l039 I joined and left a few clans before I joined a good one. The clan owners were a married couple with teenaged kids who were in the clan, so anything nasty got handled *really* fast. It was a lovely clan for over a decade, but time passed, the clan owner experienced a thyroid storm which left him with a TBI and not able to game any more. His wife, who had been Deputy Owner took over and tried to keep it going, but finances left them without a computer, and only their phones. The mobile version of the game severely limits what the Clan Owner can do to control their members, grandkids got born, and the clan deteriorated badly. It was sad, but inevitable, I guess. I found another clan, but it's just not like my old one. ☹

[@rylashadow18]

S1) One thing I know for sure is that OP will indeed survive. S2) OP don't just leave this group also leave the BF. Rodger can take his superiority complex, stuff it where the sun don't shine and then wear it as a hat. I'd take one of his hate on women rants and forward it to his wife annomynously. Outside that be cautious OP. That former friend can keep Rodger.

[@MarkNarrations]

Happy start to your week, hope it goes as smoothly as possible!!

[@Flotton]

Much love!

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

I hope you have a lovely week Mark 🤗🤗💜💜

[@romonaelrod7870]

Thanks Mark. Much love to you and Poppy.

[@meggammacisaacrylie7869]

Have a good week Mark and Poppy! 🐶❤

[@littlegreycat]

I don't think the husband would ever leave her alone if she didn't do this.

[@sandrakranzwinther3286]

It sounds like the boyfriend agree with Roger more than he wants to admit.

[@kathleenmcfarlane2555]

Story 1: I'm glad OP left her husband and filed for divorce. The best revenge OP can have is to live well and be deliriously happy. Seeing that will eat ex-husband alive.

[@ShatoraDragondore]

With luck OP in story 2 will see how much greener the grass is in her new group/guild. Her partner only stuck up for her once her spine started to grow and she found a group that respected and welcomed her openly. "This is our first relationship." so I didn't know to tell a bully who openly disrespected you for months to stop and gtfo. He only did that "Because might have found a better boyfriend then him" yeah I hope she dose.

[@MsTwissy]

I wish I got closure on story 2 with how OP confronted her so called best friend for betraying her. Also what kind of friend group would tolerate someone being so hateful to women???? Being more “fun to play with” would NOT be enough for me at all.

[@AndyyWithAY]

The body comments would've been divorce worthy. Even if she didn't almost die, but that makes it way worse. Then the 19 YO barely legal adult. All love would be lost. I'd have to do the same as OP. Letting a random man inside my body? Couldn't ever do that. But, this elaborate ruse? You love to see it 🙌🏾🙌🏾😌

[@kristinicole2055]

Perioddddd lmao

[@kiwifreund]

Re: the gaming group: the misogyny is so gross. I would leave and never look back. I would bust out like the Kool-aid guy. That best friend would be gone.

[@madambutterfly1997]

It doesn't matter if this is his first relationship or if he's just being kind to you just being kind isn't enough. And on top of that he claims he loves you yet was unwilling to move Heaven and Earth that great personal cost. And then he finally does what should have happened months ago as far as the Roger situation. I'm not convinced.

[@RodgerJ30]

Story 2: that is not me and I hate that guy.

[@helenasouza9196]

Second story: I have a pretty strong suspicion that Boyfriend & Group thought that if they excluded her enough, she'd miss them and feel so bad that she'd beg them to be re-included. The thing is that Roger decided that he didn't want to play with OP, I'm guessing they butt heads due to his views. OP accepted because she doesn't like him anyway and it's not like she can force him to play with her anyway. The group/boyfriend saw her as the weaker side they could silently bully into submission and maybe even force her into apologizing to Roger. I wouldn't be surpride if boyfriend was the mastermind behind all that and that's why he reacted the way he reacted. Oh well... Jokes on them. Turns out OP has a spine.

[@kacielawrence]

Story 2: OP needs new friends *AND* a new best friend

[@littleolmee]

That first story sounded less like revenge & more like she was doing something to get her ex to leave her alone & stop trying to get back with her. I can understand her not wanting to entertain her ex & just wanting him to be as done with her as she is with him. There comes a time when you have someone like that who won't take no for an answer you just have to put an end to things yourself. S2; Yeah, OP is better off not associating with that group. Friend sounds sketchy as hell too.

[@paulastiles5507]

Yeah, this. I do think she needs to be careful about her and the kids' safety because he sounds more than a tad unstable. But I liked how she got him good without actually compromising her own morality and she can prove it in court. And oddly enough, it may get him to leave her alone.

[@tully6648]

Story 2: The group of dudes OP wound up joining sounds like a herd of Chads. Good for them. The world needs more gaming groups like that. That said... I went through drama like this with a role-playing group. It was nearly a decade ago, and I was a pushover much like OP. I did the whole "I didn't want to make them choose because I was afraid" song and dance. It sucked. But, like OP, I also made it through. Two big differences, though: 1.) Once my partner realized what a dips-t he'd been, he dropped _everyone_ entirely. 2.) He asked for a discussion about seeking either couple's counseling or therapy ("I've never been before, so IDK which is the right one."). We went to couple's counseling, which I can say was the right choice since it allowed us to see the problem from both sides, and highlighted communication issues that would keep coming up if we didn't work on them. So I hope that OP cuts off things with the so-called "best friend," and her BF cuts off R entirely as well. The whole group is toxic, and they'll both be so much better off moving past all of them.

[@technicaldifficulties368]

You dont have to forgive someone to purge the bitterness. Some people dont deserve forgiveness, that doesnt mean theyre dwelling on what happened

[@GreenSkye42]

Great timing.. something to take my mind off of my doggo who passed away last Wednesday

[@hunnykun101]

I'm sorry for your loss 😢

[@DameNickum]

I’m so sorry for the loss of your pup. Hang in there.

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

I'm so sorry

[@annageorge8406]

I put my dog down on 06 Dec 2020. The first year is the worst then it gets slowly easier to handle. Having a pup around does help. (If only had one dog)

[@zapheil]

Got any good stories to share about your dog? Sometimes that helps.

[@snake5solid]

It's always sad when people are happy to be friends with such a PoS like Roger instead of calling him out on his behaviour. These people are clearly okay with this. It's best to stop hanging out with them and move on as they are not worth having any sort of relationship with. I hope OP realizes this and drops everyone from there. Including bf and her best friend.

[@TwiggyHetfield27]

Story 2: Why is the bf more concerned about Roger's comfort then OPs? He's mad that she wants to find a group when HE himself told her to not participate anymore because Roger doesn't want her there. What the hell does he expect!? After Update: Why would she go back to the old group knowing that EVERYONE there including her best friend didn't want her there? HOLD UP! Best friend says he's gay but... (checks notes) "would love to have a relationship if she wasn't with her bf"?! Are we sure he's gay? Because this reminds of an old former friend from high school. Told everyone he was gay FOR YEARS. Only to find out he wasn't & was using the "gay card" as a way to creep on girls he hung out with when they were changing, etc. Everyone cut contact with him after high school, after everything came out.

[@adjwindu70]

Story 2. Ive seen many friends drop their gaming group for girlfriends too. This seems to reversal of that. Interesting.

[@lovelylittlevulpix]

Man, if OP's boyfriend was so worried about her finding another gamer BF then he should have supported her decision and made time for her to make up for all those times people were excluding her. But nope, he wanted to keep her with him while staying in that toxic group, so he wanted to have his cake and eat it too.

[@hi_stranger9156]

Story 1: *"My ex is still trying to convince me to reconsider. He made so many excuses that I can write a book about it and then give classes about gaslighting 101"* Cheaters are always like this. They have every excuse in their head for why they're cheating is okay *"oh she came in to me, you didn't give me l love, I felt neglected, she didn't do XYZ the new girlfriend is prettier, oh it was just about my ego, it was just a something I needed in the moment,"* on and on. I say *she* but this happens with male or female cheaters, they always excuse their own behavior. It's why you see them asking things like *"you're going to leave the marriage over this one mistake"* or *"how dare you break up our marriage"* or *"aren't you even going to fight for us"* as if the other party is the one at fault and not the one that couldn't keep it in their pants.

[@Draggonny]

Let us all bow our heads and recite the narcissist's prayer.

[@MatildeVallespinCasas]

He admitted that it was an ego boost so ....

[@canadalovesanime3137]

story 2: Sounds like the group is trying to get rid of OP. Either OP is too good at the games they play and "someone" is jealous; or boyfriend is looking to make OP breakup with him so OP looks like the bad guy. I know people like this, they cut you out but still "want you around" when it is convenient for them. OP is supposed to sit and watch as boyfriend plays and gush over how good he is at whatever game he is playing. OP is expected to sit in the corner like a dog waiting to be called over. OP can't move on and find a new group, OP is the fallback. I think OP should completely start over with a blank slate.

[@thebigmystery7841]

Man finding a gaming group like she did on the side is so relieving cuz it can be rare most of the time. I found my group and never looked back. You mean I dont have to play with randoms and be called every slur imaginable? Hell yeah! Pretty sad its like that tho...

[@NopeScope14]

I feel for 2nd OP. That naive nature is going to cause her a very rude awakening. The silver lining of her other gaming group of being wholesome, gives me some hope though

[@_letstartariot]

Her best friend is sitting and waiting for her to dump her bf, and think she’ll pick him in the end? Definition of a guy who in the future will complain he was ‘friend zoned’, even though he was deceptive about his intentions until only recently. Ditch him. Get a best friend who respects you as a platonic friend, and is loyal. Someone with no other expectations.

[@jenniferhanses]

Story 2: As a gamer, how would I feel? Like crap. There are people who should just stay apart because they're not compatible. But in terms of being booted from a group, Last one in should be the first one to get the boot in terms of territory. So that the group abandoned OP at Roger's behest when he was the one being an ass does not say good things about the group. It's also weird when OP's boyfriend gets all upset about her finding another group to play with. That's extremely normal. Especially in couples when your schedules don't quite match up, you may end up with different gaming days,, leaving days you share off for couples time. But I accept OP's comments about them being young, inexperienced, and trying to figure out how to balance their relationship. At least they realize they have some stuff to figure out.

[@janglesthearsonist5265]

Story 2: Wait, so OP's "gay" best friend attempted to solicit a relationship with OP when he thought her current relationship was weakening and OP hasn't told this to her fence straddling boyfriend? If she is going to stay with him she needs to be honest about what her friend said to her. She should just dump her boyfriend and her best friend, but at the very least the best friend who wants a relationship yet turns on her on a dime needs to go!

[@crawdaddy2004]

10:19 You know what you have when there is one misogynist in a room and no one calls them out? A roomful of misogynists. *** Why does everyone like playing with Roger, the misogynist?

[@BraveryWing26]

I loved the first OP. All the allure of sticking to the AH with none of the guilt and awfulness of having an actual affair.

[@TsukiKageTora]

The story 2 update: so she joined a gaming group for years (was it years?) and the newbie she dislikes kicked her out of the group and everyone was like “meh, ok, we won’t invite her and you can play all the time you want dude” Maybe finding a better gaming group and better friend group (and boyfriend) would help OP And the guy’s views on women? Hope they go right back to his sugar momma Bet you Roger was in love with OP’s boyfriend and decided to put on an act to make her uncomfortable so she could say something and he could legitimately ask for her to be kicked so he can have special time with the boyfriend.

[@JB-bl6qo]

I’m here for the revenge good job op

[@user-blob]

Yep.

[@mbyerly9680]

Incels like Roger are sadly common in role-playing games, but lots of groups are out there who won't put up with that crap. Some even specialize in friendly games, games suitable for the young, etc. I hope OP can find a better group and a better BF.

[@moonlightwolf]

Story 2: I had a similar experience with a dnd group. I felt excluded and unwelcome and when I finally said something to the person who ran the group, they kicked me out. I later found out that one of the group members I had thought I was close to was talking shit about me to the group leader the entire time I had been in the group. I've since moved on to better groups, but I completely understand OP's feelings

[@Mewse1203]

Story 1: the hypocrisy of the husband is astounding. For him to cheat with multiple women, and then act like OP did something wrong when she supposedly had sex with somebody else after they filed for divorce is ridiculous. Douchebag hypocrites who denigrate the women that have their kids because they had their kids are some of the worst people. To cheat on your wife after she's given birth to your kid is fucking awful

[@ayanaatthrivebewhole]

With story 2, I think the reason her boyfriend is acting like this, it's because I think he agrees with some of the comments that Rodger was making, or doesn't think they're that bad

[@terryrhuebottom]

In the gaming group story, I'd put money that the boyfriend saw the post and got butthurt so he acted.

[@taylorslade961]

I fully support OP. I actually did have a revenge rebound and sent some spicy pictures to my ex (with the guys permission) to really drive the point home. Nothing explicit but you can def tell what was happening. It was so satisifying to watch the online meltdown.

[@magnarcreed3801]

Bs to people that say revenge isn’t the answer. Sometimes it is. You’re just too weak to take it.

[@salomerodriguez5145]

I always feel bad for the OPs who clearly are so alone and have no one on their side 😢

[@shadowkissed2370]

The first time I played D&D I was 18 and it was with my ex-husband, he was the DM and I was the only girl playing, the group was most of his male friends. I would make dinner before the gaming session and everyone would bring snacks and drinks and we would have dinner before we started playing. His friends started to act strange and started to flirt with my character in-game and when I went to my husband about feeling uncomfortable he told me to suck it up if I wanted to play the game with them. One of his friends started to get really aggressive with the flirting nearly r4p31ng my character. When I pleaded with my husband he wouldn't deal with it, but when he felt I wasn't turning it down fast enough I was all kinds of horrible names. We finally got another girl playing with us and she started to like the guy who was extremely flirting with my character so I gave her my character to play thinking he would finally leave me alone. Nope, the new character I made he started flirting with aggressively. My ex started to blame me for it all and I finally just stopped playing. I was the one blamed for ruining the group. It turned out most of the guys had a crush on me but the one who wouldn't leave me alone felt we "were in love." I don't know where he got that idea when I was doing everything I could to stay away from him. He had told his grandmother that I was leaving my husband for him. In another experience playing in a group where I was the only girl, the DM tried to force my character to fawn at his demigod's feet while my character begged him to sleep with her. When I refused to he banned any girls from playing in the group because girls didn't follow the rules. We were all in our early 20s. I stopped gaming for a while until I actually found a group of mature people.

[@Dusk.EighthLegion]

When a woman and a group of her friends decide to plot revenge against you, you done goofed.

[@Peeges_]

Thanks for hanging out with us ❤

[@MarkNarrations]

Thank YOU for being here :)

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

So glad you posted today! I got worried!

[@madambutterfly1997]

Sell self-indulgent and self-referential that he ignored his gf's genuine concerns and issues because her actions disrupted his peace

[@gigicat3943]

S2 - Instead of gaming all day and night . . . maybe the OP and the boyfriend should get jobs and create real lives.

[@riverjbleu]

I wish Reddit would stop diagnosing every asshole as a narcissist 💀

[@sabrinahinton1774]

Narcissist and needing therapy.

[@juliebiggerbear7300]

Story 2. Damn… I could have written this one! I didn’t, but easily could have. OP isn’t overreacting, it my goodness her bf certainly is. He does realize that OP doesn’t go into ‘sleep mode’ when he and his friends are excluding her, doesn’t he? She brought up her concerns, asked about alternatives, got noped out by the group she was playing with *including her bf*. She should continue to look after her own wellbeing and find people to game with while her bf is busy.

[@Grimangell135]

Story 2: I get it is OP's first relationship and the same goes for the bf, so I give him the benefit of the doubt to a degree. In spite of that, you should never sell your partner up river if they are not the one causing the issue. OP had a falling out with a toxic sludge of a human who was trying to get her kicked and the bf did NOTHING. Gotta buck up and defend your partner.

[@gngrblls2thwall]

S2: there’s ten people in that group and the only one who didn’t agree it’d be better without her was her boyfriend. There’s more to this than what she’s telling.

[@dlasta]

Story 2: The relationship being first is not a reason to lack empathy for your partner. Poor Op just has the lowest of expectations. This is you end up married to a guy like Roger.

[@TheVampireAzriel]

Gaming OP's boyfriend is young and inexperienced. I'd cut him some slack on his wishy-washyness. The best friend isn't gay, he's just said it to get close to OP.

[@startmakingart432]

Of course Roger, the woman-hater, is a mooch and living off his wife's hard work. amazing.

[@swearimnotarobot3746]

Please don’t revenge cheat. Please don’t revenge cheat. Please don’t revenge cheat. Edit: They’re already separated. So it just seems she lied about having a rebound. She doesn’t plan on actually sleeping with someone until the divorce is finalised. So it’s all fine. (Ish). Although just leaving is definitely better imo.

[@lynnw7155]

Still, it's never a good idea, even if it's fake. Wait until the divorce is final.

[@kristinicole2055]

Why not though?

[@mekaplush2148]

Tic for tat I'm going to get my lick back TF...

[@TsukiKageTora]

Exactly, don’t even say you did it. Especially when children are involved There is a crime that a guy got revenge on his ex wife when she left him by offing all of their kids. He knew it would hurt her. That all for leaving him Could you imagine if this guy was like that guy and what _”revenge cheat”_ would make him do? Just take the high road when children are in the situation

[@swearimnotarobot3746]

@@kristinicole2055because and eye for an eye makes the whole world blind

[@wildridegaming874]

And 1 week later Roger joins OP's new group.

[@MoonMoon24531]

My husband and I are both gamers and have a gamer group with our close friends ( we've known all them for 10+ years). I had a situation where a girl joined our group for a few months and didn't like me at all. To keep the peace, I just dipped without saying anything. Hubby wanted to say something immediately, but I told him don't cause she seemed like a immature and insecure person so I just dropped it and was cool (our friends didnt know why i dipped). What got her kicked from the group was one day she decided to tell all of them how "self-centered" I am (because i used to tell stories during game breaks, no one ever complained), and good thing I'm gone, lastly who do I think I am queen bitch. All my friends immediately said to her that I was the queen bitch (only girl in group for years) and if they had to choose between dropping her or me, that she needs to get stepping and kicked her. They all apologized and told me they didn't know there was a problem, and if they did it would have been handled immediately. I love my friend/game group 😂

[@gostavoadolfos2023]

People should stop shaming people for expressing hatred and vengeance which are natural human emotions. Outside Christian culture those are accepted as normal.

[@darkmask5933]

Story 2: "Well my best friend is totally gay ... except he told me once while he was attracted to guys if I wasn't with my boyfriend he would totally want to date me." ... girl. >_>

[@Graves933]

Story 2: your best friend was manipulating the situation to get with you at some point playing both fields. In this situations, just expect the worst and move on cause THAT is not someone you want near you.

[@MaryTheresa1986]

Story 2: Dump your loser boyfriend and hook up with the BFF. Edited to add: Proceed with caution with the boyfriend, but distance yourself from the boyfriend.

[@lynnw7155]

Maybe get a real life? Real life friends? Go outside and get some fresh air? You need a new friends group and maybe a new boyfriend?

[@sadtitties222]

Um, no way, why would you want OP to get together with that two-faced spineless snake that she used to call her best friend? Did you not listen to the story, lol?

[@darklightmagus1222]

Story 2: I can relate having to learn to think like a couple and prioritizing our relationship over crappy behavior from friends. Most of the time, friends are willing to put up with crappy behavior when it isn't directed at any other member of the group. It is easier and cleaner than calling our the friend on their BS of the bad behavior. My own friend group started up with complaining about each other's significant others when we started dating. None of us were used to getting divided attention. Eventually, we talked and called each other out on how crappy we've been when we're all trying to have romantic relationships in hopes of building a new family. The group won't always have a chance to all be together. We have to accept that one or more are going to be away with our significant others. Back to the story, the boyfriend knew that if he pushed back against the group that unanimously against him wanted his GF out, there would be conflict within the group and possibly the friend group would break up. It was the easy way out and a mistake. One that could have cost him his relationship with his GF.

[@lorrainemontagnon1537]

Got a little snow last night, should be melted by noon lol. Everyone, have a wonderful day!😊 Lots of love, Rick on Mark and little Poppy ❤️

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

I hope you have a lovely week 🤗🤗💜💜🧇🧇

[@ZarineBashire]

Story 2 the whole group agreed with Roger so it sounds like either they didnt mesh or maybe she did things they didn't like. I'm glad she decided to stick with the new gaming group