I Learned To Say No To Myself and It's Changing My Life

When I committed to getting out of debt, stopping shopping, and changing how I saw and spent money, I had to learn a lot of things. One of the main things I had to learn was how to say “no” to myself, and stick to my own boundaries.
How have you learned to say “no” to some things in your life in favour of saying “yes” to that more important thing?
#stopshopping #minimalism #essentialism
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ABOUT ME:🌿
I'm Christina, friendly neighbourhood human on the internet slash pharmacist. You may have previously known me as Style Apotheca. I'm living in Toronto, Canada and on my channel you'll find me on my journey towards minimalism, being content with less, recovery from a shopping addiction, and my journey towards financial freedom from over $120,000 in student loan debt. Thank you SO much for watching and taking the time out of your day to support my channel. A little thumb always helps support me!

[@Christinamychas]

What’s a way you gently tell yourself “no”?

[@hannahrussell5583]

I just tell myself to put my phone down and go and do something

[@Christinamychas]

@@hannahrussell5583 simple as that so much of the time!

[@marieodu3149]

I watch a show or a movie. If afterwards I’m still thinking about it then I’ll explore getting it. But if I forget all about it, then boom it’s gone.

[@rocioiribe5841]

I slowly turn my phone off and put it down.

[@3ll3mel]

Like some people already mentioned a taking more time for finalizing the decision to purchase. And to be honest, 99 % of cases I didn't even remember what (and why) I wanted to buy it! I've never regretted NOT buying something, but I definitely regret buying too fast (a lot!)

[@Olivina330]

Love this! I'm 28 and whenever I have conversations with older generations, they tell me that the one thing they regret is saying yes to people that didn't deserve their time. The same can be said for saying yes to things that don't give and hold intrinsic value or interest in our lives!

[@Christinamychas]

Absolutely!

[@MsTD1995]

Thanks .. that helps a lot now (:

[@MissDhanusha]

Love that! I'm 28 too and it makes perfect sense.

[@katypratt]

I love telling yourself “not now.” I can do that.

[@annamoehagen3447]

I’ve had to learn to say “no” to things that other people my age enjoy or find success in. Career paths, hobbies, lifestyles, etc. It’s ok to take the road less traveled. Doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong or missing out.

[@megnicholls9931]

Saying no to stuff got a whole lot easier when why became quitting my job to retire early. Now I find myself not even being interested in window shopping

[@Galloway8786]

I found it too hard to stop buying fun things all the time, so I solved this by giving myself a (small) set part of my budget to buy whatever I want and as long as I meet my savings target then I don't feel guilty. I think this satisfies my desire to get nice things like a pair of earrings every now and again, but because these purchases are still part of my overall budget I have a clear idea of my limits. When I didn't have any money set aside for treats then I would go mad when I had a shopping day, because just by going shopping it was already breaking my budget and I lost all discipline.

[@numerologicatarot3333]

I do the same. I just make sure I reach my goals. I don’t starve myself of pleasure.

[@xfusee]

The hunt of buying the perfect something to quench an unnecessary want is an obsession to me, I figure if I can't control the compulsion yet, I will try to redirect my obsessive energy over saving money instead, wish me luck 😩

[@cheryltoth309]

Remembering that by not buying that expensive whatever (or saying no), I'm still " buying" something luxurious....a release from the bills and taxes, more and better options to choose from later; in short, an uplifting independence. Something negative turned into a positive.

[@jessie9653]

Amen 🙌

[@mikjamovera]

I was sitting in quarantine for 10 days and was so excited to go out shopping. Just before going out your video popped up. And I realized that I just wanted to get out of the house. I don't really have to go and buy a new pair of jeans as an excuse to go outside and I can just go for a walk...

[@MsTD1995]

Just go to the mall with a friend to drink / eat. No need of new jeans … obviously you’re not looking for it😅😀

[@gracefuhrmann5941]

Creating a running list to plan purchases has been a game-changer for me! It's great for planning items I need out a season or two in advance to track sales and purchase discounted. Sometimes I decide later I don't actually need it, and simply remove it from my list.

[@nicolegarden2370]

I stopped “emotional shopping” when I’ve had a bad day, nothing makes me happier than a new book. Instead of buying a new book, I will go to the library or borrow from a friend. If it’s been a very very bad day then il resort to buying a second hand book my purchase makes a difference and helping others lifts my mood!

[@tartefemme08]

Funny timing, I was just thinking the adult me needs to tell the child me "no",sometimes😌

[@amyhoover9]

Buying things without thought used to be something I would do constantly in my earlier 20's. I realize now that my mental health is what matters most, and recently, I've been trying to actively work on simplifying my thoughts and not getting distracted by negativity, self-shaming or other thoughts that aren't my own. I find that when I was younger and felt stressed by my own thoughts, I would either shop or binge watch shows or KZbin videos to distract myself from how I was feeling. Thank you for these reminders, Christina ❤

[@Kelbel5995]

Ngl, I find this really hard sometimes. Still working on it! Like, for example, having a wish list in some cases has backfired because it reminds me of a thing I might have otherwise forgotten! But my wish list has in other cases helped me purchase more mindfully and prioritize well. One tip that I had never thought of that I'll definitely start is the mindset of remembering that saying yes to one thing means saying no to something else. I need to remind myself that saying yes to *all the clothes* means saying no to less debt, no to spending money on the hobbies I enjoy, no to travel, etc.

[@zoraidarodriguez1761]

Hi, great advice and so true. I found that having a capsule wardrobe in a limited space and knowing what your style is and likes are helps. There are so many things that are shiny and new and call to you. If the aim is for a simpler life then saying no to a lot is crucial. A simpler life can't be found under a pile of stuff not needed and used.

[@hollyashton7009]

The worst for me is when I’m sitting there with a glass of wine scrolling & bored, and next thing I know, I’m purchasing something & regret it the next day. Trying to put healthier habits in place. I have a savings goal in mind that I really need to stick to & not get derailed. I think I’ll start using your tip of writing down the want first & just sitting with it for awhile before taking any action.

[@hilaryr-d261]

Ouch! I‘ve always been a people pleaser and yet I‘ve never connected that one of those people is ME! Just trying to sit here and let that particular lesson sink in … and it‘s not a comfortable place to be right now! Isn‘t it amazing what your brain logically knows and yet never actually connects until presented with a few, hard, facts. Thank you for a really valuable lesson.

[@bonniebranch6083]

That’s exactly it, doing whatever you want right now and dealing with consequences later. Total maturity issue I think many of us deal with. Learning to say no is such a foundational discipline for all adults and it totally spills over into every area of life in terms of becoming a more focused, self aware, responsible person. Thank you for this video. It’s been a big subject of self reflection for me the past month or two.

[@Christinamychas]

💯

[@IndigoAwakener]

Great Observations.

[@marialuisapuga7924]

I love your channel! It has helped me to finally let go of a version of myself that was no longer serving a purpose in my life. Knowing that I'm not a bad person for not wanting to have the same clothes I wore at 17 made me clear up space in my wardrobe (100+ items) and keep it empty. I've also saved more money in the past 6 months than I had in the last 5 years. You're not only changing your life, but also the life of others! Thank you!

[@kathrynp7595]

Great advise, you convinced me to go right to my Amazon wish list and delete everything, I really didn’t need the items😉

[@samjoytha]

Ooof I 100% am guilty of this, growing up in a poor family I struggle so badly with FOMO and the fact that before I couldn’t have anything whereas now it’s there and ready and super easy to get access to online with buy now pay later schemes !

[@leninrod3581]

This came at a perfect time! I've been struggling saying no to the wrong things and saying yes to the right things. For every yes to something I didn't want, I've said no to many things I've wanted. Thank you for this video

[@heatherp7836]

After watching this I think a big part of me learning to say no to myself starts with me detaching from my phone or being on my computer 💡 💡 💡!! Youre very thought provoking Miss Xtina 😉

[@Christinamychas]

🥰🥰

[@angelagregory2810]

I’m just starting this “journey “ of telling myself no. Our family wants a camper , so I’m using that as my yes when I get there the urge to impulse buy.

[@_inflection3209]

Just wanted to thank you. My GF and I have been trying our hand at budgeting and it's really been helping us not overspend, our needs take precedence over our wants now, and we're on our way to paying off our debt. Thanks for the inspiration!

[@lesliedavid6379]

Can you do these videos like once a month!? I am trying to do a "No Buy July" and it's hard. I am still buying things like groceries, gas, etc. But not buying the unnecessary stuff. The stuff I just want because its new, bright and shiny. Your videos are encouragement to stay on track. I'm only 7 days into my no buy July so this video is very helpful.

[@Christinamychas]

haha for sure - and congrats on your no buy july!

[@tamarasparks8065]

I spend when I am tired. My resistance is broken. I closed out the Target app last night and told myself I need to pay off his truck this month; and not spend 50 dollars on a spin mop. A spin mop. I have a bucket and a mop and a sink. I am being ridiculous. His truck, then my truck and I can retire on time. They total more than our house payment!

[@ashleysmith9727]

Honestly, watching your videos help me say ‘no’ to things! You are always my reality check!

[@sheilakosoff5806]

I started taking pictures of my outfits. I started taking pictures of me my clothing to get a sense of what looks good on me vs what I think will look good on me. That has really forced med to say no. When I want to buy, I check my photos of items that looked good on me to remind me that I have what I want already. I also have stopped donating clothes. I have a basement that stores my extra clothing. When I feel the urge to shop for fantasy self I go to my basement and pull out that reformation dress that I truly believed was going to make me look as young and beautiful as the model. I spend the day in discomfort longing for my simple black t shirt dress or my comfy black slacks that I wear with my tank tops and comfy cardigans. Thanks for another thoughtful video. I appreciate your sharing of your experience.

[@amberhodder2674]

Setting a 1 year and a 5 year goal/plan, paired with the Wish List strategy (I use Karma) has been really effective for me. Great content, as always, Christina, thank you for all your hard work!

[@LF-uw8mm]

Whenever I feel like purchasing something, I like to give myself a week of thinking time to decide if I really want to purchase it. If after a week I don’t want to purchase it then I know that I only wanted to shop because I was bored. This has helped me a lot, hopefully this helps someone else too!

[@stphn96]

I've been trying to find a way to come to grips with the idea of telling myself no and you video has inspired me to take that first step and really start living the life I want to live

[@tigrezz0852]

Thank you Christina 😘 love how you broke all of these down and made complete sense 🙌🏼

[@stutigovil9822]

You're amazing! I am a recovering shopaholic and someone who finds spending money productive (in lieu of other productive things in my life). I am so so glad I discovered your channel. Thank you for being so honest and so strategic.

[@almabackstrom5414]

This was so helpful. Thank you. I have been working at a thrift store and I have gotten into the habit if saying yes. .. because everything is so affordable. I did need to build my wardrobe, but now I am feeling its complete so I have to learn to stop. So good to have the strategies you suggested. I have a goal or a challenge to myself to do a no buy year. I want to start August 1st, my birthday. After watching your. Video I am confident I can do it. I will maybe start today. Thank you for your insight ❤❤❤

[@CrazyVideosLater]

We are struggling the same way... but with different things. The way you explain it is 100% the same tho. It’s crazy

[@MsZanev]

Great video! The thing that has helped me tremendously to stop when I want to buy something is to ask “why now?”. Usually there is no rush and often when I wait I stop wanting the thing altogether.

[@ginuwinejones9631]

This video is right on time! I'm going on a no buy especially with makeup because I've been finding myself not so satisfied with my purchases and thinking about how I could be saving money. Big step but I'm ready for it

[@ginuwinejones9631]

@@brontec9769 I've been finding myself gravitate towards 1 or 2 brands and their products which was initially what caught my attention to buy less. It's definitely gonna be a journey but I'm ready for the challenge

[@MsTD1995]

Thank you for this great video. I always find your channel so refreshing and educating at the same time …. Saying NO to people , stuff, commercial ads ,Just helps to reduce buying stuff you don’t need and saves your time and money to the really important things in life .. such as; goals , friendship , romantic relationship , items that are essential for you etc… that helps me being more conscious about my life in general. 💖

[@thetherapyofplanning_1]

The list is definitely a game changer! You don’t have to say no because you’re saying not now. And then you realize you haven’t thought about that thing for awhile and that its not such a big deal after all. If you keep thinking about it then you can also be thinking about how you’re going to pay for it that doesn’t involve you going into debt! Think about how having that debt makes you feel, 😟 I don’t want to feel that way anymore! 😀 p.s. I need to make that baby steps to saving sheet. Do you already have or can you make a video on that? Thanks Christina! Great content as usual!

[@annsovilea]

I'm still recovering from the syndromes of impulse buying and people pleasing.. So one of the ways i do when faced with the tendency to buy something or say yes to someone, i'd ask myself... " Is this meaningful for me right now?" if yes then i will take my time and consider it. I'll just say No right away if i don't feel like it's gonna add any value to my life. It's a long journey ahead but has been quite fun these days to just be myself, and not thinking about what people might say 😊

[@Christinamychas]

I love that!

[@mrsc3271]

I swear whenever I need to hear something you put out a video about it ❤️

[@marissadaily2726]

thank you SO much for this. it’s making me feel like i can control my habits instead of them controlling me. 💕

[@so.many.obstacles]

I recently wanted to upgrade my work/travel backpack to a Tumi one I saw. I have other Tumi bags and like their products. They were having a sell and I thought about getting it. Then I phoned a friend that helps me talk out larger purchases. At the end I decided not to for many reasons. Then Tumi had the nerve to offer an additional 20% off…I didn’t acquiesce. If I decide to get it, it will be for better reasons that a sale. BTW, I have been working out again, meal planning and I’ve lost 4lbs. I’m feeling good and I will not use this as a reason to treat myself. I’ve done that before. I don’t need to reward myself for doing what I’m supposed to be doing. That can be a slippery slope.

[@raqueldasilva8702]

Needed this today 💕 thanks for making this 🙏

[@susanjoy1501]

I've started to use a wish list on Amazon and it's true that when you give yourself time to think it over you realise that you don't really need what interested you yesterday. It's so easy to click the button. Think about it first and ask yourself do I really need it? am I going to use it?You are giving out a lot of sound advice.

[@Aden-ry3cr]

Thank you :) That was really helpful !

[@danthe8thhilll425]

thank you for your advice cheri!!!

[@valeriebouchard7365]

Great stuff! I really appreciate the path you are taking. It’s so lovely to watch

[@Future-zx9ts]

Great video, Christina! And just what I needed to hear. Thanks so much for sharing and for the encouragement! ❤️

[@christinezwicke1002]

You are such an inspiration! Thank you for a brilliant analysis of what can cause our "yes" behavior...and, moreover, a process to teach ourselves to say no. Thank you!!!

[@cindyglasscock]

I just started reading the book Essentialism. THANKS to you !!! Great video!

[@Christinamychas]

Def on my list of life changing books!

[@212lifestyle]

Great, simple and effective steps! Thanks for the video!

[@erinfoley3888]

One of your very best videos Christina! Thank you for this critical insight. I learn so much from all your content and videos and it has been a game changer.

[@lisettecampbell2138]

I was rigid the first three months of the year and realized that my biggest culprit were impulse buys. Now I say no to impulse buys, especially if it isn’t a need.

[@wmstchic]

Thanks for sharing your wishlist spread in a previous video - I’ve started using it and really like it! It makes me really think about what I think I want.

[@cherylsimmons4540]

Great advice and thanks

[@odditygrdn]

Would love a more in-depth video on the wishlist portion! I find that i make the wishlist, and by the end of the month i have bought almost everything on it... because i've "waited for it" Thanks for the video as always! :)

[@aoifecalderon383]

I loved this video! I’d like to hear more about essentialism and pairing down your time/money to the hard but important things. Facing those hard, important things is fraught with so much fear for me, especially bringing up the big question-will I be good enough?-that just haunts me through the whole process of identifying what really matters, going for it, and maintaining it.

[@123keepitsimple97]

Thank you. I'm going to apply this to me eating too much.

[@rodolfoblasser3329]

Thank you.

[@persephone213]

Thinking about purchases first and putting them in a list instead of buying them right away seems to help me.

[@apg7639]

darn, I really needed this. I'm going through a midlife crisis over here!

[@SusanBRoman-ch9bm]

Great video.

[@gintare1664]

Very actual topic! I trying to wait.. and rewiev that I have.. but I am still in this journey 😅

[@patriciamontez466]

I have NO SELF CONTROL!!!

[@Christinamychas]

You got this! ❤️

[@moldypotatochip]

For me definitely I add to a wish list and think to myself, how practical is this, do I really need this? But more importantly, did I buy something similar to this before and if so how did that work out for me? Sometimes things seem really attractive online but don't end up working out for me, so I try to remember what those things were in order to avoid making another similar purchase.

[@linhlecute]

1) Take notice 2) Ask why & how 3) Consider how you're feeling 4) Say "NOT NOW" by creating a wishlist 5) Consider what you're saying "NO" to

[@einatepstain6010]

I started to think of the things that I bought - and I noticed that It wasnt making me really happy..I usually bought similar things that I already had. I also started saying no to myself

[@krysila7722]

We're both left-handed! 😊

[@tamara5082]

I learned to say yes also. The ting is i say yes to a loth of things i dont want and say no to the things i do want. Why? Probably because of marketing en "things that are expected of us". In my case i just bought a microsoft surface pro. It is a tablet and laptop in 1, very portable, 2e hand. The reaction i got (or myself) is that its such a big risk to buy second hand ect. But my laptop i had (at the store i was confinced by a sales person to go for a more expensive model) broke right after the standard 2 year insurance period. There is so much economy around having people spend more and more money. (and then tax it too, what you own ect). Anyhow, right now im super proud and hopefully in the future more people will do things their own way instead of lisening to "but everybody goes for this or that". Cheers from Tamara.

[@hilaryhogan4917]

I’ve noticed that if every time I say no to something, if I ID what I’m also saying YES to- it helps. Helps with shopping, but also food too. So if I say “no I’m not gonna buy (or eat) the thing I think I want, I’m also saying yes staying decluttered (or yes to a strong body fueled by nutrient dense food)”

[@igorchichkin509]

WoW 🤩 awesome

[@hannahrosen9569]

Love your videos! Wondering where your desk is from? I've been searching for a similar style for months!!

[@Christinamychas]

It’s from west elm ❤️

[@lijason5470]

helpful video

[@FernandaGalicia0996]

What helps me is to have a wishlist, like you describe it, of what I need (different areas such as makeup, clothes, body care, trips and so on) and one for what I want, If I have the idea of the price is next to it (that acts as my limit) and knowing me. Yes, I checked a lot in web pages scrolling but relax me and no user save (thanks to you)

[@lisahansen9869]

Christina, I enjoy watching your videos and agree with most all the advice you offer. Thanks for taking the time to put out this very helpful content. On another note, I really like the jeans that you wear in several of your videos; the ones that cross over oddly in the front. What brand are they and do you know if they are still available?

[@Christinamychas]

Thank you so much! Theyre the agolde criss cross jeans.

[@lisahansen9869]

@@Christinamychas Thank you very much!

[@inezhawickhorst9061]

When I’m bored I go on any I my shopping apps I put everything on my cart. A few days later I deleted it

[@sophiawarrilow]

One thing I've started doing is making a wishlist and then reading it out loud to my boyfriend. We have a laugh together about some of the random impulse-led things that can make their way onto it 🙂

[@dollyrevenge98]

Loved this video. I think my life would be easier if I unsubscribed from the makeup channels on YT :)

[@laurab4570]

I went to a Lindsey Stirling concert the other night and really really wanted a $65 sweatshirt from her merchandise, but I reminded myself that costed more than the tickets I won for free to the show… so I was able to walk away!

[@loida6837]

Learned to say no

[@alimcfadden2800]

Hey Christina! I was watching one of your videos the other day and you were using a steamer & fabric shaver and I have been trying to find it. I don't remember which video it is. Could you send me the link or refer me to the video?

[@Christinamychas]

It’s my capsule wardrobe video about 3 videos back! ❤️❤️

[@alimcfadden2800]

@@Christinamychas thank you:)

[@tinam9869]

Saying no to a social invitation with no valid reason is rather tricky 😕

[@kimberlyallan1671]

3:58 sorry but I had a giggle 😂

[@hannahrussell5583]

Hey! Just wondering did you build a saving account whilst paying debt or put saving to one side?

[@Christinamychas]

I didn’t! I just had my $1000 starter emergency fund

[@hannahrussell5583]

Thanks C! I feel like I just need to blast my debt but I was terrified to use my savings x

[@Christinamychas]

I think it’s super individual to what your situation is - if you need a bigger security blanket i think that’s fine! I relied on the notion that I have a regular paycheck and it’s fairly easy to take on extra pharmacist work if I absolutely needed to. If your situation is different or variable income I’d def suggest having a bigger cushion!

[@hannahrussell5583]

@@Christinamychas I think 3 months paycheck kept in savings will allow me to feel easy about aggressive debt repayment

[@koko137591]

🖐🏼🙂

[@myrnaj4502]

👍🏾📝❤

[@Christinamychas]

❤️❤️

[@abbyroad108]

All i can think about where her tanks are from....

[@Christinamychas]

lol! omg i can relate to this so much. everlane and artizia usually

[@mish_elle1450]

Anything except a PHD instantly