I'll be listening to my own voice and trusting my own understanding from now on - Ursula Schneider

C/W - domestic abuse, suicide ideation, suicide
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** Background art by Ursula Schneider
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Today I spoke with Ursula Schneider, who grew up believing in Jesus but ultimately deconverted as she examined the truth claims of Christianity, especially regarding the Biblical teachings of patriarchy and misogyny.
We discussed many topics, including:
• As a young child, seeing her parents get saved and switch from a Catholic church to an evangelical charismatic one.
• Seeing her mom get diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia and her family split up, and begging god in vain to heal her mom's mental health issues.
• Watching her mom try to cast out demons.
• Frequently rededicating her life to Jesus to be sure she was truly saved.
• Hearing lots of preaching about the end times and the Rapture/Tribulation.
• Being disturbed by the Biblical stories of people drowning outside Noah's ark during the flood, and of Abraham being willing to slaughter Isaac to obey Yahweh.
• Actively sharing the Gospel with the lost.
• Facing increasing patriarchy and misogyny as she entered adulthood.
• After her sister died of suicide, dealing with the concern that her sister might have gone to hell.
• Beginning to use her leadership skills on the worship team at her church and getting more fervent in her relationship with Jesus in both her private and public life.
• Realizing that the people in the church, who had been heavily exposed to the Word of god and the Gospel, were not showing any evidence of being transformed by the Gospel.
• Experiencing tremendous patriarchy and misogyny from several churches, which caused her to do more research and investigation than ever before.
• Learning to listen to her own voice and trust her own understanding for the first time and she became free to think and make choices for herself, apart from the claims of Christianity.
• Realizing that the kindness she had shown to others stemmed from her own heart, not from Jesus.
• Fully deconverting from Christianity and going through a process of being angry and grieving the loss of Christian friends.
• Healing from internalized misogyny.
• Seeing the trend of deconverted Christians losing their Christian friends and their former support system and facing intense loneliness as Christians punish them for leaving.
• Discovering that almost no Christians were willing to talk with her about why she left.
Many thanks to Ursula for sharing her story and insights!
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Connect with Ursula:
On IG @ursula_schneider_art
On FB:
/ ursula.d.schneider
Desert Artisans Gallery:
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/ desertartisansgallery
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--Tim
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Ending music by Kazuya / Eyal Raz, "Friends"
artlist.io/roy...
• Friends
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