I Lost Everything | My Talk At Menfluential

There’s risk, fear and significant vulnerability involved with sharing my talk here with you guys, because I’m sure some of you might think less of me, or have your opinion of me change after you hear this. But, this is my truth, this is my life, and this is my story. And if it resonates with only one of you, then that’s all I really care about. I can’t control how you might feel after watching this, but either way, I owe you this. You deserve to understand where I’m coming from and some of what I’ve been through.
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#40overfashion

[@ericboes1012]

Thank you for sharing. In March 2019, after several years of living in a motel, I ended my rocky marriage, got an apartment, and started watching your channel. I was broke, turning 50 in December, and donating plasma so I could feed me & my daughter. All my clothes had been in storage and become moldy. You're channel helped me rebuild... Not just my wardrobe, but me. Your channel is not just about fashion, it's about presenting the best you (me). I thank you for your work. Your strength had helped me and I'm sure many others.

[@40OverFashion]

Thanks for your comment and thanks for sharing Eric! Keep moving forward my friend!

[@sayyer10]

Eric Boes Be strong, take it day by day and stay positive. We are in the same boat and we are gonna get thru this.....

[@gregoryescobedo70]

Peace be with you.

[@kirbyaugustine761]

Blessings to you Eric. I’m on a similar journey in some aspects.

[@FoodInDaHood]

@Eric. Thank you for sharing. You seem to have come out of a very dark tunnel. Well done. I hope all goes well for you from here on in. @John. I think Eric's email shows not just how important what you do is, but also how important you are to a lot of people. The comments I am reading from various people tells me I have subscribed to a family rather then just a channel. Thank you to you John and all the people who have commented and/or shared.

[@greg9240]

I relate to your situation. When I turned 50, I was making $200k a year, putting 3 kids through college, and living my dreams. A few years later, I got sick with kidney disease. I was unable to work and lost my income, my house, my car, and my wife. I’m almost 60 now but I’m happy because I know who I am and I love my life. Thanks for sharing your story. You’re not alone. I’m happy to see you moving forward with your life. Thank you for your videos.

[@Arclite720]

It took me 10 minutes to figure out how to start this...so here goes. Before I stumbled across your channel, I was going through depression and didn't know it. I thought no one in the world outside of my coworkers, even knew I was there. Long story short, your channel was a part of my climbing out of my deep hole. I feel better, in part, to you & your channel. I applaud you my friend! I seriously hope you read this...You are doing a great job! You DAMN sure helped me! Keep grinding Brother! I got your back!! It takes a man to admit he failed but it takes a REAL MAN to get up and get back at it! Peace

[@biggertom1234]

You are a man of integrity and honour and know your self worth. Yes it's ok to not have all the answers at once ...yes..life is a winding path . Often we don't know and cannot see what lies ahead even with the most wonderful plans in place. You are a man of good character. Credible, vulnerable , honest and generous in spirit. You recognize and are getting to know yourself..your journey. Many thanks for sharing with us all out here dear friend of ours. Keep going as you say. Best wishes .

[@susansmith1860]

@@biggertom1234 whenever I get frustrated by stuff, my hubby always reminds me that life is long and for the living... We go through stuff so we can learn and grow.... and I just heard those words again from you! Stay strong! We have your back!

[@agustinburlaza1690]

Ain't that the Truth 🤜🤛 Amen 🙏

[@miketindol1679]

“What defines someone as a ‘man’ should not be the clothes they wear or how deep their voice is. It should be the content of his character, his strength in the face of overwhelming adversity, and his ability to still love and help others when the world has turned its back on him.” - Karamo Brown

[@ralphrapa2634]

This is brilliant....thanks!

[@sacredkinetics.lns.8352]

I went through horrible situations; I know the suffering: never consider suicide as a solution. Being alive is a victory already. 💫👣💫

[@sonnyshearer03]

Bravo! I started over at 47... Colonel Sanders started his "chicken business" at 65 with his $105 social security check...I use him as an encouragement... life is hard and life is GOOD! Vulnerability is a key to an intimate life. May God bless you and keep you!

[@40OverFashion]

Thank you!

[@Jim-ih4lr]

A strong man, picks himself up after being knocked down, not someone who has never been down. Stay strong brother.

[@batwitdaba2057]

Jim O negative. What would you do with $500 large???

[@therealmac1044]

I’m 40 have 3 kids under 7 years old . I’m going through some very hard times financially and with my wife . This video and comments just pulled me out of my depression gave me strength to never give up. God bless you and thank you for your videos! They are awesome .

[@chadsexinton]

Good luck man. All the best.

[@joseprevost6956]

​pp000⁰⁰⁰deĺpw

[@pmoran7971]

So essentially life is a bitch and then you die' not that original I am afraid! how about money does not make you happy it does not even come close

[@blondspike74]

Just keep going…sometimes fake it til you make it. The hard times are temporary if you’re committed to moving in the right direction and living with intention. Feeling crap…have a couple of beers one night, but the next day; best foot forward! You’ll be ok !

[@vinnywardawg5100]

Hey brother I’ve been where you are and maybe worse…I lost everything in a 10 year period…my health…my mother and father in-law…my sister…my uncles…my brother in laws…my wife…and my career of nearly 30 years! I should be crushed and laying in bed depressed…but I am grateful God provided me with two young kids that give me my purpose to live and thrive. I have opened my mind like never before and a paradigm shift has been occurring and it has put me in a path to recoup my life in every way! If you ain’t dead you can crush it…especially if you’re living in the Western world…you can do it…don’t ever give up! God bless you! 🙏✌️👍

[@sayyer10]

You are the man, John! I salute you! I am 54, I still haven’t figured out my life yet. No wife, no children, no house, no car, no savings and working as salesman in a clothing shop living from pay check to pay check for the whole of my adult life! The past 20-25 years I’ve thought about “ending it all” but I persevered and stayed strong and positive. I survived thus far. Now after watching this I told myself I have a small goal to achieve. And that is to someday hopefully to go to US to get to meet you in person and thank you from the bottom of my heart!

[@adrianasilitonga7335]

Me too.. But I'm a female.. 47,/48 in January.. Still struggling..but different situation than yours.. Bit still in zero ground.

[@TheRichflo]

Brotha…I feel you. 6 years ago, I met the love of my life. After years of dating, I knew she was above the rest and we got along the best. Little did I know she was an alcoholic. And a rough drunk. All my life I wanted a family and kiddos and I thought this was the key. After 3 years of dating and moving in together, I moved out taking the cloths on back and my Jeep. I lost everything. I was in a dark place for a while but God is good and now at 49, I rebuilt my life with a ton of effort. Stay up my man👊🏽

[@imartincito6694]

I'm 42, with 5 grown kids and I lost everything due to my divorce. I also was making 6 figure income during my marriage. I literally now have nothing. I also at one point stayed with my xwife. It's part of life. I get on my knees and pray. The real test will be during this economic depression we are about to enter and hope there is no internet disruption. I will be praying. Keep up the true inspirations you provide to us.

[@40OverFashion]

Thank you Martin! Keep going..one foot in front of the other my friend!

[@WilliamBarryRoberts]

Society does not care about middle age white men. They mock our struggles and laugh at our suicides. Accept this fact. And your success? That will be met with scorn and condemnation as a result of your inherent "privileges" being the only reason for these achievements. The only women that are capable of truly loving you are your mothers, sisters and daughters. Swallow the Red Pill my friend.....it goes down HARD.....but the World will suddenly start making sense. Do not be angry with yourself. Dig deep into MGTOW, but do not discuss it in the real World.

[@2815marionwood]

Dude, sorry I HAVE BEEN THERE! Good for getting down and praying and I did that a lot! Just now keep on grinding. I bought a condo last year and remodeled it. I was broke, child support kicking my ass, dealing with a bitter ex wife who called the police and child protective services, credit score in the 500's, almost homeless. Keep fighting and you will come back stronger!! And now my youngest son lives with me, It will get better.

[@seancullum1561]

​@@WilliamBarryRoberts This line of thinking keeps you angry and resentful - having been busted broke by a divorce and still recovering now; I would recommend you let that shit go and focus on how YOU can do better , not how THEY put you there. I really worry about a world where we seem to have a "they" to blame and not look inwards for improvement. The longer you hold onto this thinking the heavier it gets and the more miserable you will be - if not now then certainly down the road. I don't know you personally and how you came to think this way but things only got better for me when I stopped worrying about "who" to blame and put my efforts into getting past the bitterness and self destructive habits and self-talk.This is just my opinion, you are welcome to yours.

[@barton_dean39]

I'm over 50, the pandemic killed my trade in the granite industry, I spent a year living with my 83 year old mother to keep her safe last year, my bank account is gone, but I am now working on recording and releasing my rock music on all platforms this summer. Luckily I am really good. Ha. Keep going everyone. Hope you are much better now John.

[@rolandboss9045]

Marriage is exspensive and divource is life threatening. Being single is easy to maintain but loneliness can be a bitch. Stay strong, live within or beneaath your means.

[@40OverFashion]

Very true! Thanks for commenting!

[@Dave-jv3th]

Roland Boss What is the solution to the single dilemma?

[@rolandboss9045]

@@Dave-jv3th 🤔 a pet and causal dating. I am sure you be alright. Stay strong bro.

[@davidpearlactorteacherbizman]

Loneliness is a killer..I am alone and sexless age 57 even in Thailand bad heart bad heart valve bad hearing

[@davidperry6995]

Thank You Sir. My son was killed a couple years ago... The wife decided to leave a couple months ago... I'm 55 and have built a couple successful businesses...that's all gone now. Tough to get out of bed most days. But I have the best, most annoying friends who won't let me give up. I read many of the comments below and I can't say it better than that. You are an inspiration. I enjoy your content, I needed your message today. To those of you who have kids remember, You only have 18 summers with them. Thanks again. To your success!

[@40OverFashion]

Thanks for commenting David! Annoying friends are the best friends. I'm glad you're here.

[@steverapley3104]

I will watch your channel in a different light keep going keep living you made me think ,there’s stuff I won’t to do ,may do them now I’m 64 cheers

[@cliffdariff74]

God bless you man... stay strong.

[@flashback1123]

This video comes at the right time. Things are very uncertain, no matter who you are. People gotta stick together. Thanks for sharing your story. It's the same case for many who seem 'successful' from the outside. Respect to YOU for being brave and an inspiration at this time.

[@40OverFashion]

Thank you!

[@vincentnnyc]

I hit rock bottom 3 times in my life. Surviving my cancer in my 20’s, my mom died of cancer and I almost got a divorce with my wife and kid. I survived all of them and now living happily with my family.

[@joeydirty4038]

I divorced in 07, bankrupt and living with my parents. I let my ex have the house and everything in it, for my daughters needs. I knew I could start over and my girls are my #1 priority. Now, I have everything back, and both daughters are in college. Couldn’t be more proud! Thankfully I’ve always had a decent job and was able to give them a lot. Now I’m 48, make $82,000 a year and it’s all mine! But I still help both girls in college. The have new jeeps and are doing great. My life was rough for a while, but my girls kept me going strong. I found Mtn biking here in SE Michigan and that I think saved my life. I definitely would have ended up jail or dead cause of going to the bar. Said to myself, gotta do something else and bought a Mtn bike. Now I have 4 bikes and buy 1-2 every year! Gotta have the best. I feel your pain, hope you continue to do well! Cheers from Mi. 👊🏼

[@mikewoodson6930]

I avoided watching this video. I knew I was gonna relate. Great message and never stop. I too lost everything, I mean everything. No $200. The thought of ending everything came up often. That was 6 years ago. Today I make a 6 figure income, I pay 100% of my sons College expenses and that’s honestly what kept me going. Loving my children and wanting them to have things better. THANK YOU. This is kinda that club you don’t wanna be part of. Some day I will help those that are struggling. Help them get back on their feet.

[@maybeonemore]

55 years old. I needed to hear this and pick myself up. Those guys saved your life. You very well might have saved mine. Respect from Jamaica.

[@40OverFashion]

Thanks for commenting my friend! I appreciate the kind words and I'm glad you're here! One foot in front of the other, every day. Just keep moving forward.

[@AmishNinjaMaster]

Tomorrow is not guaranteed for anyone, so everyone needs to answer this question every morning ... What will I do today to improve my life?

[@davidhoneycutt3090]

Everyone has been at “zero” some point in their life, thank you for sharing your story.

[@faceachenz8441]

I think it was Winston Churchill who said "When you're going through Hell, keep going"- it's a great message. In Western society, the expectation is for men to "harden up" and stop being such pussies. Here in New Zealand, we're told to "Drink a cup of concrete!" and that kind of thing. To suppress those feelings because opening up would make you seem weak, and less of a man. But the opposite is true; takes some massive balls to open up about your fears, about tough times that you are going through, about emotional things. John, i have nothing but the highest respect for you for having the courage to open up like this. I'm subscribed, and i watch every video, which i hope helps you in some way, albeit small. Oh, and a massive "booo!" to those who thumbed-down this vid! :-)

[@40OverFashion]

Thank you very much for your comment!

[@timbrown2604]

John, I am 63 years old and have spent my life as a police officer, never having to open my closet door and say, "Well, what should I wear today". But about 18 months ago I decided that when I wasn't in uniform I would dress with some fashion sense but didn't know where to start. Then I stumbled onto your channel. You are my go to. I follow Aaron and Antonio and others, but I use your channel to gage that fine line of dressing "my age" beyond velcro strap tennis shoes and pant waists up to my armpits. I was already impressed with you from a slyle perspective...but this video elevated you, in my opinion, to a "good human being" perspective. There was a point in my life where I lost everything - My wife left me, I was laid off from my job, I was evicted from the home I was sharing and ALL my personal belongings were confiscated and sold at auction to pay for back rent. I'm 6'5" tall and slept in my car...a 1967 Austin Healey Sprite! Significant milestone in my life to say the least but I'm a better man for it. Congratulations on pulling yourself up. No one understands what it takes to do that unless you have been there. Thanks for your content on your channel. You have been a style inspiration for me and now a personal inspiration as well. Continue the great work.

[@40OverFashion]

Thanks for your comment Tim! We never know how other people are struggling or the battles they're fighting. I appreciate your comment and I'm glad you're here!

[@myrenaya]

Tim, and with your reply, you have shown me that even when things are bad, there is a way through but takes focus and perseverance.......thanks for helping the "virus" of hope spread.....

[@arthour2924]

I am a 62years old man and my jod was also police officer.I divorced at my 48.My ex-wife gave me, one month ,to left my home. I've took my old fashion clothes and i left my home. Difficult momments....i was in depression for a long time,i had a problem with my heart..but i survived for two reasons.The first one was ,my sister ,who gave me a room to stay and more other facilities and the second was, when God send to me ,two REAL friends,who gave me courage...to go on.My sister helped me to make savings and also gave to me, the first money to bye a small flat. I've bought a new cloths..i ve changed my life..i ve bought a new car and i had after 20 years a new girlfriend. My life is good now ..i can't complain.. but this divorse left to me a heart problem to remember for life time, this tragedy! Thanks God...i am still alive and healthy ,as it is possible. But..deep into my heart..i will never forget about this unfair bitter situation,who destroyed me,at the first years.. Keep Going and stay strong my friends... Greetings from Greece! God bless you !

[@onamission1898]

You got my attention when you mention your Austin healey sprite. Do you still have it. Credit to the healey also.

[@richjohn11]

Good on you, may each and every day be better for you. As an alcoholic who is now 3.5 years dry and at age 59 I am starting my new journey to God knows where, and believe me it is not easy but day by day we all get better with experience and perseverance .

[@focusracer30]

Wow man, I am overwhelmed with emotions right now. Sitting at work, crying at my desk. I typically start my day listening/watching a couple youtube videos, yours included. I did not expect this today. My mom passed away in August of 2020. 11 years ago I had sold my townhouse and had a very short closing period and ended up at 33 moving back home to the parents house until I found a house I wanted. Well, my parents health turned south and I ended buying 1/3 of the family home and staying there to help take care of them since I was single and not really interested in anything but... My dad passed away a couple years ago. Last year I met an amazing woman, we deeply love each other which is pretty amazing. Shortly after my mum died I had a huge financial hit and also had to do a few unexpected repair to the house, plumbing issue and I had to replumb basically the whole house to "meet code" since the house is about 30 years old. So that all chewed up my savings and just found out that my sister who decided to walk away from the family 28 years ago and we haven't seen her since is going to contest the will which could tie us up for up to a year or more... I turn 45 in a couple weeks. I'm damn near broke. I haven't been feeling well lately and I just found out yesterday that I have cancer. I haven't told my girlfriend yet and I don't know how to. I honestly sat in my car when I got to work this morning and contemplated suicide, very seriously thought about it. I got a text from my girlfriend of a picture of her and my dog telling me they love me. Then I clicked on this video. Maybe things aren't as bad as I was thinking they are. Maybe I will get through this. I don't know how yet but maybe I'll figure it out. Thank you John.

[@40OverFashion]

Thanks for sharing! You can and will get through it... one step at a time. Don't give up. It gets better.

[@babeskjo]

How are you now 😢

[@miguelmedina6889]

Hey Jon, Just wanted to say that you are one of my favorites KZbinrs and of all your excellent videos, this one is my favorite! Congratulations on all your success and keep up the excellent work! Thank you and best wishes!!!

[@40OverFashion]

Thank you!

[@cv97035]

In 2017 and within 4 months I lost my job, my girlfriend broke up with me after I helped her get through a year of unemployment, and then I got a herniated disc and stayed lying in bed for 3 months with unbelievable pain and without a penny in my pockets. Best lesson of my life. Stay strong!

[@05Rudey]

44, Married at 27, divorced at 31 been very unlucky with relationships since . Been kicked to the dirty side of the road more times I can remember, re-invented myself more times than Madonna. But as men, we just have to pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off But that process doesn't have to be alone "I had to rely on other men" to help me on the way, I dread to think where I would be now without the help and honesty of the men that I consider Friends, who tell me if I'm doing good or to buck my ideas up. Thanks for your honesty, I think more of you now, not less.

[@40OverFashion]

Thank you very much for commenting and sharing!

[@trishbroughton]

All I can say, is it took balls to do this video. Men usually don't get personal and tell our failures, but we all have them. To hear you tell about your life just made me want to listen to you more. I was homeless when my wife and I met. I owned a gym that really was just barely making money. I had just went through a divorce and the only place I had was my gym, so I lived in a back storage room. So, I know where your coming from. Kudos to you for being honest and telling your story.

[@bobhope8593]

Self-respect is a virtue you can only bestow upon yourself, power to you my friend and thanks for keeping it real.

[@donaldtunson2917]

We all have gone through things.....but these things we go through are there to make us stronger!

[@VanamaliDas482]

I'm amazed to read the other posts on here. We never hear of how divorce affects men. This is an eye opener.

[@abefroman70]

This has to be the most raw and sincere clip I’ve ever listened to. You’ve managed to slow down the world just enough to knock some sense into it. Thank you for adding life for the breaths we take and sharing your story. We all love you like a nicely fitted shirt! Best of luck and continued success.

[@40OverFashion]

Thank you very much!

[@ehJoe]

I have been an entrepreneur my entire life and lost and gained so many times, more losses than wins, finding drive after failure is the true testament of character. Someone i respect once told me " when you hit rock bottom the only direction left is up " if a year ago everything was roses you may not have forced the steps to create this channel, this is honest, transparent and open and new respect for you. Don't let anyone or anything get in your way of dreams and goals. 🙏👊💪

[@40OverFashion]

Thank you very much Joe! I appreciate your comment!

[@gregdondero5105]

BTDT, divorced and bankrupt and unemployed at 39. New job 1000 miles away from my young children. Drove the worlds smallest uhaul trailer with what was left of my possessions. Lucked out into a furnished condo cheap. Two years later , salesman of the year... Now 64, Own two houses, threes cars and put my kids through college on my own. Active and started watching you since I'm not exactly a fashion plate. 5'8 200 lb Italian...... Losing weight and watching you... now even more.. I'd rather watch someone who has rebuilt vs someone who has not gone through what you have.

[@40OverFashion]

Thank you Greg!

[@Fush1234]

I’ve had my fair share of ups and deep downs in my life. Life teaches you... when these things happen.. you have 2 choices. Either bury yourself in self pity and revel in the sadness or.... pick yourself up..dust yourself off and get on with life.. learn from your experiences..realize that time is the healer...continue to chase your life goals...and you will come to see... these experiences are just markers on the road in your life ..to test you... refocus your energy positively on your life goals...today... I’ve a net worth of over $3million. I own everything...I’ve no debt...life is sweet. All because..I chose to get on with life. 🥂🎯 In New Zealand we have a saying .... Kia Kaha...translated means ..stay strong. ❤️

[@malboyce3468]

No, my appreciation went up not down. As long as people dont dwell in the past but remain fixed in the present I get it.

[@moises4942]

Blessings to you brother, for sharing your story. This took guts and sincerity. We love you !!! California will do this to us men, eat our wallets, then the IRS takes anything that remains. Time to move to Mexico, or Philippines, or Colombia, or some other country where we can have dignity. We used to have dignity in America, but these days the land of the free is feeding on us, to the bone. So hate to say it, but in order to stay afloat, we must immigrate. It worked for me ........ Blessings !

[@lorikgian]

What's a good place to immigrate in 2024?

[@AisleorWindow]

Hey Jon, I watch regularly, comment rarely, but this one couldn't pass without chiming in. As a fellow 50 year old dude who's making some major shifts in my life, I have to say that this speech resonated with me. Thanks for sharing your story, it's never wrong to share how you are feeling. I truly believe that if people watch this, you'll save some lives. Congratulations on your success and on having the courage to keep moving forward. Much love, my friend.

[@40OverFashion]

Thank you very much for your comment!

[@fredmyers9058]

I'm 66 years old and until recently was deeper down than you could know. I'm sorry, but your story tells of a little bad luck and good on you for climbing out...but you appear to be milking your hard luck story - you have no idea ..... Before hearing your sad sad story I listened to you advising on how best to present to a woman, grooming, dress, pride in appearance, good manners etc. Next, you sniffed your way through your story of hard luck. I am not afraid to show my emotions in a crowd, to strangers, to friends. I have cried many times whilst talking of my life - but your constant disgusting sniffing whilst making your speech was beyond the pale and from you who advise others on appropriate behaviour etc. Pause for a second, take out a clean handkerchief or tissue and blow your godamned nose - even if you have to do it several times whilst talking is preferable to subjecting your listeners to your constant sniffing and sniveling. You demonstrated a complete lack of class and I believe you probably even sniffed more than you needed to believing it would milk the sympathies of the crowd. It seemed to work....so uninspiring.

[@Origen17]

@@40OverFashion ignore this Fred guy, John. What a ridiculous thing to say .. ☝️

[@donaldtunson2917]

I am 67 years old and i have been influenced by your videos....and now i have a renewed spirit and i love to dress with confidence. THANK YOU

[@BobsCreativeDays]

What a powerful message!!! Kudos for the courage to share it not only at menfluential, in front of that audience, but also here with us. You need never worry about what people may think of you because you have just proven your strength and your ability to deal with just about anything. You were already high in my esteem because of the quality content of your channel and now you are even higher because of what I have just witnessed - your strength!!! Thank you for being here and being your true self.

[@40OverFashion]

Thank you very much for your comment!

[@40OverFashion]

Bob, if you get this, email me.

[@Alcs_hobbies]

Hey brother, that was heavy. It’s never easy to live a lie. Everyone around us thinks we have it together. But inside we are a mess. Thank God for your ex-wife, lol.

[@chrisdavis8399]

That took a TON of strength to open up like that John. Build on and refer back to that moment of strength and courage any time you doubt yourself and feel that depression coming back. Remember John....you are loved! Much respect!

[@40OverFashion]

Thank you Chris!

[@joshuasteele4498]

“And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong.” ‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭12:9-10‬ ‭NASB‬‬

[@RA1-1]

That verse has been my strength that last few years.

[@jeffpodemski3137]

Yes Jesus is the answer to all our problems

[@markgates5268]

Your post on here is the real message I have been needing to hear. Thank you.

[@David-wo9un]

John, thank you so much for being brave enough to share your story. I would never have guessed you were struggling since the quality of your content has never wavered. You have helped me think about my own situation and realize if I am lucky, I may still have a lot of life left to live.

[@40OverFashion]

Thanks for your comment David!

[@eclemens2627]

At 67, with three marriages behind me, I have approximately 46 years of experience in being wed. I have made what must be every error in life possible. Been on the edge looking down from the fifteenth floor and wondering why wait? Depression is a “BITCH!” If you are here and reading this, going through these times, reach out to someone (anyone). DO NOT make a permanent decision for a temporary condition. You matter; demand the respect GOD allows all of us to have. I wish you all - Light - Love - Happiness.

[@40OverFashion]

Thank you for commenting!

[@hussaini24]

Hard times teaches best lessons. Ur fellow for over 2years but only comment rarely. U are already an inspiration to me.

[@40OverFashion]

Thank you for being here my friend!

[@HelaAhmad-v9f]

i am not sure if women are welcome... but I'm a 47 year old woman going through way too much... came across your video by chance. your talk helped... sorry to sneak up on you guys but grateful

[@ecurb10]

This is great stuff mate. Bless you, and your friends who got you through (and your ex!). Great to see guys helping each other out, and seeing examples of good strong men in this world of so-called "toxic masculinity". This right here is "healthy masculinity". Thanks for sharing, and for showing your humility. Cheers

[@40OverFashion]

Thank you very much Bruce!

[@dougbarker1328]

Im delighted to her things are getting back on track. You now have the secret - Believe in yourself , stay strong,be persistent - you always find the people you can trust when times are at their worst.Keep doing what your doing and if it isn't broke - don't fix it, All the best.

[@calvinsmith1295]

Thank you for sharing some very personal details of your life John. I love your channel and have gained so much from listening to you. I appreciate your honesty and humbleness. I wish you every success.....continue to move forward and I look forward to many more of your videos. Sending you love and support from Australia.

[@mysticbluelight4223]

I’m 48 year old woman. After 23 years of marriage I now live in a domestic violence refuge in London. I also lost everything. I left with literally a gown and slippers. I had nothing. Tomorrow I am going to be moved to a hostel. I’m terrified of what that will bring. It’s been 2 years I’ve been trying to get a home for me and my sons. No joy whatsoever. Everything I tried failed All I want is a safe place to start again. nothing. One thing I can say through all the trauma I have been through is that HOPE is one thing that keeps you moving and Where there’s a Will there will be a way ❤️🙏

[@luscent3737]

Why would we think differently? Quality of a person is not measured by what he owns but how he gifts us with his sincere willingness to help his fellow man. Every one goes through shit young or old poor or rich. Don’t feel bad.

[@hansmir5443]

I figured out my life at 44 and now I have 2 apartments big money in the bank and looking to buy my 3rd apartment. I made my money in real estate if you want to know. A lot of us are late bloomers and its very normal. Don’t worry guys the ideas will come to you at it’s own timing. Just go for it and don’t super analyze anything. Good luck 😀btw I am pushing 59 😅

[@lowellbeckel4637]

THIS is your best video yet. Raw and honest. Much love to you man.

[@rflo162]

AGREED !

[@shokojimhollingsworth3940]

Fashion is fun, but *this* is what life is about. Thank you!! I’m 52 and starting over as well. You’re not alone.

[@jeffudall2556]

Great message! I just discovered your channel last week and really liked the fashion advice because I need a big change in my life. I'm literally where you are now. Here's my story: I was 46 years old, sold everything I had and moved to Czech Republic to live my dream. I knew it would be a long and rough process to live there as a foreigner. Two years later, I was unemployed (coronavirus), broke, homeless and with no legal way to remain in the country. I lost everything there...my flat, my girlfriend, my furnishings. I borrowed enough money from my son for a flight and I came back to the U.S. three weeks ago with two suitcases and $3 dollars to my name. I'm 48 years old sharing a room in my father and my aunts house. I've got nothing! So yeah, your message resonated with at least one.

[@40OverFashion]

It gets better my friend. Keep moving forward!

[@princessnelson9168]

It took a lot of courage to share your story. You get a standing ovation in my heart.

[@timothythompson2369]

Great video John. Especially now with all the uncertainty and job loss. Amazing how you were able to mask what was going on in your life and seem so together. Keep on, my man.

[@AskYourComputerGuy]

Wow. Holy shit...wow - our stories are damn near identical, even the $500k in trust fund. Thankfully never had to stay with my ex wife though. I'm 50 in 4 months and have been going thru incredible mental anguish about starting over. Funny when I saw Aaron on stage. I watch alpham to be inspired and re-learn how to take ownership of my life. So happy for your progress! It's a struggle for real. I also started a channel, same as you, to find "something" to lock onto and keep going every day, and not fall apart. Definitely earned my lifetime sub and whatever I can do to encourage you while I grow as well. Best KZbin video I've seen. So impressed by you - never give up!!!

[@dnm4197]

Thanks John, quite a story and a couple of fortunate backstops saw you through. Appreciate your openness, and the Menfluencial conference appreciated it too. Not often we see this openness, it will help you as well as others. Grace and good grace to others, may it long continue.

[@robwebb9413]

This kind of vulnerability at this time is exactly what we need. I'm 51, facing the same issues, starting on my third career. Starting all over again. More wisdom is on my side this time

[@Ralphu75]

I've been there....42 and my marriage ended. Feeling desperately alone but with good people, amazing family and a strong desire to get back on my feet I do believe that I can do it. Thank you for sharing John. A brave video.

[@miskelproducts41]

Thank you so much! I am 50 and starting all over from scratch! I found this channel by "accident" cause I'm changing careers and want to dress well. Your story and your mission are a blessing to me because I'm inspired to get up and try one more time.

[@chadmikaels]

Jon, I don't comment much if at all but have been following you for a good while. I'm newly 47 and this video resonates with me incredibly so. You have become an inspiration to me and others and i only wish that we could give back to you what you give your viewers time and time again. One day I'd be honored to meet you. Shake your hand and toast with jagermeister.

[@40OverFashion]

Sounds great Chad! Thanks for being here my friend!

[@LDLike]

As an estate planning lawyer I know all to well that there is no guarantee anyone will get a tomorrow. Great words of wisdom and I’m sure this was a tough speech to give. Keep up the great content and know your impact on others may reach beyond what you think. I wish you the greatest success in the future!

[@lycanmaldonado5757]

Really nice talk and it took a lot of courage to stand in front of all that people and share your heart and life with strangers. I feel what are you going through, I have the same blessing of passing through a similar experience in my life. To make it short 4 year in war (Iraq, Afghanistan) , lost everything, work, wife, health, financial stability , etc. I was broke and slept under a bridge for a year and a half and literally ate from trashcans cause I was to proud to beg. Hang in there follow your heart and you’ll see things do get better. I had gain everything that I lost back two fold and better. Keep the faith and always remember this too shall pass it is a blessings in disguise to allows us to grow internally and spiritually. My heart is with you and I’ll see you at the end of the path. This is not a path for material gain it is more important than that, your are in the path of self discovery and believe me everything is so much sweeter at the end, because you are going to have something not too many people have, you will find yourself.

[@40OverFashion]

Thank you very much for your comment and for sharing some of your own story. Much love and respect my friend!

[@Eman-xf2pn]

All these comments are very u inspiring, thanks everyone for sharing because they can give many people hope. I’m also going through my rock bottom with my wife and two kids. My life two months ago was as good as it gets and now it’s something I never imagined. It’s time to rebuild and start from scratch. Many blessings to everyone and I hope everyone reaches happiness.

[@40OverFashion]

You got this!

[@donschenck2466]

At age 50 I was not far removed from your story; I had the benefit of a supportive wife and wonderful children. I just turned 62 and am *finally* feeling like things are falling into place. Never stop. You can always start over. Never quit. Don't give up. These may seem to be trite sayings, but they're incredibly true. By the way: My wife VERY MUCH appreciates how much I've upped my fashion game over the past 18 months, and you have a big part in that. THANK YOU.

[@40OverFashion]

Thank you!

[@chopin65]

If one of my brothers is down, I am down in a small part. If his marriage is falling to pieces, and the creditors are moving in, and the wine he once loved tastes of ash, then I too, in a part of me, am smaller. That thing we call success is not measured in the clothing, the cars, and the wealth, but in the man who gets back up. He builds himself up as he would a home, a community, and a country. And most importantly, his strength is adaptation and honesty. May you always have the strength to get back up! Thanks, for sharing your story. I like your attitude. It's a good one. My father taught me to adapt, and never quit. He taught me to be honest, and work hard for what I believe in. He also taught me that every bad day is just a day. So, if you only get one thing right out of a hundred, you got that one thing right, and that is better than if it were for free. It is hard to get up sometimes. But it is worse to stay in bed. Cool video.

[@40OverFashion]

Thank you very much David! I really enjoyed reading that. Needed to hear it.

[@SaachinKVerma]

Expand your youtube content...on relationship with children's ,wife, friend.body launguage and thanku for sharing your emotions we all respect that that show how much your youtube audience love you. Be happy 😊

[@chrisstokes04]

I had just started my restaurant and was making waves in the industry, then as 50 people were walking into my venue for a function, I had a stroke, a year later as I was just getting back into work my ex said "You aren't getting better fast enough and I can't handle that." She gave me three days to move out while she and my daughter stayed at her mom's. Four years later and I'm just starting to see a light at the end of the tunnel. Man this has been hard!

[@40OverFashion]

That’s rough my friend. One foot in front of the next.

[@VanamaliDas482]

Hey Jon...I'm so impressed with your doing this. I can relate. I was in the same boat after my last relationship fell apart. I was blindsided by my partner leaving out of nowhere! I was recovering from cancer treatment at the time and very depressed, and apparently, after nine years of us being together he decided he didn't want to do "for better or worse", and left. I lost everything too. No job, because I was laid off after getting sick, and had used up all my savings...lost everything. I was 55 at the time. I'm only just getting my life back together after almost ten years of struggling. Now I work as a peer counselor for people going b through mental health crisis, trying to find my own place to live (in NYC that's no joke), and trying to figure out what to do with the rest of my life. You inspire me. I used your videos to get me out of the slump I was in. Started taking you fashion advice, and started feeling better as I presented myself more confidently. Thank you for what you do, and who you are.

[@40OverFashion]

Thank you for sharing! I'm glad you're here!

[@sschario60]

Nothing in life is permanent. Choosing, in our darkest hour, to move forward takes bravery and oftentimes a radically new perspective and routine. Glad you're still among us, John. Thanks for your helpful videos.

[@CookieMonster-de4nk]

Really gutsy mate.....keep on walking.

[@40OverFashion]

Thank you!

[@YYCRCFabricationz]

You are a brave man. I mean that with all respect & sincerity Sir. I'm a military Airborne Vet & have witnessed bravery in the face of death many times from guys you'd least expect it from, some women too. While I cannot imagine the circumstances behind you life & why you ended up where you did, we do have something in common. My military career ended when I streamed down from 800ft + without a parachute. I actually found a girl who loved me in spite of my scars & my limp (my last 14 months in Service was learning to walk again). She never once judged me nor did her loving support once fail, she was always at my side, when she could've had any one of guys that she wanted, she chose me. We always assumed it would be me who would go first, not only am I a decade older than she (we met when I was 34 y.o.). Nov 23, 2018 was like any other day except, she felt sick to her stomach suddenly...I drove her to the clinic & went in with her & the Doc told us to give her some gravol & see if it helped, if not, go to emergency at the hospital. Needless to say the gravol helped some & my beautiful wife of 22 years decided to try & have a nap. The next thing I know I'm doing CPR on my wife, she seized up so badly I had to break her arm to do the CPR & I got a pulse but...she died 5 hours later of an aortic rupture. The last thing she said to me when she collapsed into my arms on our living room floor was "I love you". She knew she was going to die...yet she so brave her last concious thought was of me. I went thru day after day, devastated, she was life itself for me. I'm sure I survived the two war zones I fought in & came back from my injuries because of my wife, she was my sole purpose, the reason I am who & what I am. Needless to say I learned from my wife & she helped me to be a much better man than I used to be. I haven't been able to start making videos for my channel again yet...my heart isn't into much yet. It's been nearly 2 years & while I'm just getting by financially & finally paid off the funeral costs & so on, it's not easy coming back, I know!! Think lesser of you? For what dude!? If anything I'm glad I a new sub to your channel because at least I know I follow a guy with some guts who isn't full of shit. My wife wanted me to find another girl, be happy, enjoy the rest of my life...I promised her I would even tho I'm not so sure another girl would have me anyway (not going to get into that here but suffice it to say that's not all on me I can assure you of that). Ergo why I'm a sub to your channel, it's been a long time since my hat has been in the ring yeah haha. I could use some help in this single world I find myself in, things have changed since I last dated huh. Point is, the important thing is...you're here aren't you? You have the guts to try & that's all that should matter to you. What I may or may not think doesn't count, never did! But since you asked...no I don't think lesser of you...if anything you have my respect for sticking it out and getting back on your feet again. If people...if a girl can't see that...tough shit, she ain't worth knowing anyway then. It took real guts to admit what you did & more to share your story with the world. Keep up the good work & the great content & hold your head high Brother, you've already won!!

[@40OverFashion]

Thank you very much for your comment! I’m incredibly sorry for your loss, but I’m glad you’re here.

[@mikemoe6433]

John, it takes a lot of courage and a willingness to be vulnerable to share your story in such a public venue. It’s counter to just about every way were conditioned in life to do such a thing. I wish you continued and much success as you go forward with your KZbin channel in addition to that God’s blessings!

[@theregoesmarc]

Thank you for this! I lost my job last year 2 weeks before my 49th Birthday. I had plans of things I wanted to do and travel to visit friends. All of that was wiped out in one day. Luckily I found a job within two weeks but my income is a lot lower now and all my money goes to bills. Here I am on my way to fifty eking my life day by day. There are days (and nights) of depression but I know it will pass. Your videos are an inspiration to me and have gotten me motivated to do channel myself but about cooking and crafts. Thanks again for this, I was in a bad spot and you helped me forget about that and I realize I am not alone. Cheers!

[@flippinchicago8815]

I don't have it all figured myself. I'm also 50 and had many ups and downs in my life. Ups were living in a luxury highrise downtown condo to a basement apartment. At one point I cried losing it all and couldn't put my daughter through college. I am so proud that she did it on her own and now she is an attorney.

[@40OverFashion]

Thanks for commenting my friend!

[@Lasertrac]

John, I am so humbled for you to share your journey with all of the world to know. I was forced from a job I loved after 23.5 years, then was diagnosed with cancer. I almost lost everything I had worked so hard for. Now cancer free for 8 years, life is still challenging because I have no desire to retire and putter around. In reality few companies want to hire older guys even if they have a wealth of experience. So I take each day at a time and do the best I can. Your story and words are inspirational. You are awesome. If you ever get to SLC, please let me take you to dinner or lunch. Continue your journey. Lift your head high, and walk with honor. Knowing what I have learned about you only deepens the respect I have for you. I'm sure other of your subscribers with concur. Best regards, John Yes, you and I share the same first name.

[@simonjones4797]

Literally the best KZbin video I've seen this year. Needed to hear this more than ever.

[@40OverFashion]

Thank you Simon!

[@RichardsWorld]

That’s a tough story to share. And that is a good ex-wife.

[@KharlozTM]

Maybe you are not famous or rich (yet) as you said my friend, but you are truly you right now in front of the camera and your KZbin channel. You are changing lives around the world in a way you can't even imagine, and for this, among other reasons, better things are going to come. I'm glad that you're here. Greetings from Peru!

[@40OverFashion]

Thank you very much! Your kind words are appreciated!

[@richlrn64]

Thank you, John. You help people; you help me. You’re a great success. I’m 57 and still trying to figure out what’s next.

[@MunkeyJoe75]

This resonated with me so much. I'm 45, ending a marrage I spent 12 years in, and changing my career again. I lost several of my best friends in accidents at the first of the year and I'm trying to hold my motorcycle club together as the President. I'm the epitome of a dumpster fire in a trainwreck. I see power in sharing vulnerability. Thank you for sharing your story, that ironically seems to parallel mine. Maybe when you're in the ATL area again I'll get a chance to meet you. Until then may you get everything you need.

[@grahamlaing5629]

Hi Munkey Joe, I am sorry to hear of your situation. Don't see yourself as a trainwreck; you sound like a strong person and inspiration to people. You will get through this. Please take care and best wishes to you my friend.

[@nelsonortas818]

Dude, you are more macho and stronger than many men. I love your channel, your humanity and calm demeanor and of course fashion tastes and tips. I've always been a good dresser, Versace bags shoes clothes to H&M or Target. Rolex to Seiko's. I wear what fits me and looks good but not paying $50 for a white t-shirt neither. I'm blessed with my self made slim athletic 6/2 frame..HMMMMM Maybe we need to create your mens anti aging face cream based off human stem cells technology one day....lol Anyway, I'm 57 with 2 ex wives that I love dearly for appreciating my faults, 6 kids and was broke, why? Because of my addiction..... Pussy.....dating multiple younger slim athletic big boob light skin model type Asians. I was neglecting my human stem cells business because of my addiction. Just fucking around at the gym or online trying to hunt for more women, dating many at a time then dumping them for 2 more. A was a monster. Last year I woke up and said to myself that I needed to provide more for my kids and that my mom is getting older. I've neglected her for too long. One day, I took my last $2000 flew to Vietnam and started my journey back. Tough but luckily my on/off GF of 7 yrs took me in whilst in VN. I dug deep, gathered all my experiences and skills developed over 57yrs to go out and meet people, talk about my product, distribute samples, write proposals, get activity generated. Basically I needed to retool my brain to working and regain confidence in a place no-one cared who I was or done in the past. I also worked out and still do 7 days a wk with intense heavy weights, boxing and eating healthier and SLEEP. I feel better now as I just made my first $10k this wk. And I have more $20K orders coming and requests coming in. I'm excited!! Life is good... All the Love to you. We all need it. God Bless. Nelson

[@mr.campbell4579]

"I don't wanna get all sappy; but these dudes saved my life. As corny as that sounds...they did." There is nothing sappy or corny about that! That's human, humane and brotherly love right there. That's what the world is missing.....

[@40OverFashion]

Thank you Mr. Campbell!

[@tc5691]

Mr. Campbell Amen brother! Let’s us all be the change we want to see in this world.

[@mr.campbell4579]

​@@40OverFashion Thank you, Sir, for sharing and being transparent. Your story really resonates and inspires.

[@SayBiird]

I’ve lost my life savings of 100k at the age of 27 to the stock market. When I was 29/30 I made 150k day trading. I thought I had my life back on track again and found my passion. I’m now 31, and I’ve managed to lose that 150k I made last year. I am back at square 1 again with 60k owed in taxes. Not to mention, my girlfriend and biggest supporter has left me after 6 years. I’ve also been ready to end my life. But this video has helped and encouraged me. Life is really hard. Especially when you try to do it in the unconventional fashion as I have tried. Just wanted to put my story out there, and thank you for this video. I’m far away from where I want to be, but I will try again with faith in myself.

[@Slayavcados]

Your 31 you are so young. Make a new plan be honest to yourself; play to your strengths but face your flaws. If you can make 100k or 150k in late 20s and early 30s then if you learn and develop yourself from your loss then you can be very successful in the long term maybe try and invest some of your earnings in small flats / real estate instead of keeping it all in stocks .. you need to evaluate what went wrong and get back at it

[@briandeaton1209]

I went through something very similar when I was in my late 30s. I was recently divorced, sleeping on my sister’s couch, and wondering how I was going to make my car payment. I went to a bar for my 40th birthday and there I met my future wife. Fast forward 10 years and I’m in a much better place. Thanks for posting this. I was very moved and related so much to it.

[@40OverFashion]

Thank you Brian!

[@westfieldartworks8188]

Okay....this kind of blew my mind. The life situation you talked about is essentially mine 5 years ago, and still is to some degree today. I had lost even my car, and was riding around on a free rusted old bike that someone on the local Craigslist said I could have if I picked it up. I'll be 57 in July. But I've been working hard and doing LOTS of menial jobs. Amazing how the money...even from menial work, adds up. I've been going to the gym and have been working on my conditioning as well, it helps! The thing that blew my mind though, was that when I would tune into your channel, I would always say to myself..." now THERE is a guy that has it all together." If I would have chosen one guy from all the style channels that really had his game of life on point, I would have picked you, John. You and Antonio, I would say. The style channels helped me to strive to put together a wardrobe, and taught me how to dress properly. All of that gave me an positive sense of self, and a degree of control, as it gave me something to focus on. Ahhh, John....you're a strong man. To put together and maintain a site and produce content while in the middle of that life situation....wow. Thank you for that video. That may have been more inspiring than all the videos about v-necks and double monks. Cheers my friend. Wishing you the best, and a continued forward momentum.

[@40OverFashion]

Thanks for sharing Anthony!

[@rflo162]

Hey buddy... I've been MIA. So good to see ya back here. I encourage you with your openness. I think everyone can learn a lesson from this. Vulnerability is under rated. And... Standing ovation! People NEED good friends.

[@40OverFashion]

Thank you!

[@susansmith1860]

😍🥰🤩You are amazing! Next time you can move in with us in Bellevue WA and help me dress my handsome husband up! But truly, your story inspires many! Always, always speak your truth! You don't know how many lives you have touched! Bless you and keep showing us how to dress up our men! Big Up!!!!!

[@themancuniancandidate2744]

Your talk certainly resonated with me. I moved back to Australia in 2012 after a failed relationship in Canada, aged 43 and with $3000 to my name, two suitcases, and my guitar. No job, no house, and not many prospects. And the question of, "How many more new starts do I have in me?" " goes through your head often at the time. It was a year ago this month that a good friend of mine killed himself despite being a successful property developer and school principal, with a net worth of well over two million dollars. He felt worthless, and said as much in his exit note. Value, and the value we place upon ourselves, isn't calculated in dollars and assets...or at least it shouldn't be. The value we have is in our worth to other people; how we make them feel when we're around them, the support we offer, and value they see in our relationships with them. As Winston Churchill said, 'When you're going through Hell....keep going".

[@40OverFashion]

Thank you very much for your comment! I’m sorry to hear about your friend, but I’m glad you’re here!

[@taneishaedwards224]

I got sick almost 2 years ago.Lost all saving. Forcing myself to work even though I need a pacemaker for my heart.Everyday is a challenge but I try to be positive but most days I just cry.

[@jboggs]

We’re about the same age, and I still haven’t figured this life out, and none of my friends of a similar age have either - if they say they have, they are full of sh$t. I’ve been drawn to your videos because we are of similar age, enjoy style, and have similar hair color 😁 but now I see someone that has a hell of a lot of humanity - you are an amazing person and I’m looking forward to seeing more from you in the future.

[@40OverFashion]

Thank you very much for your comment!

[@picestoes7535]

Thank you for sharing your story and this makes me think better of you and no one Is living an easy life. I hope you find peace and tranquility. 🙂 One may have a life full of challenges, poverty, and sickness. However, it is ultimately God’s pleasure that is most important and the source of true happiness and peace. The Prophet peace be upon him said: “Amazing is the affair of the believer, verily all of his affairs are good and this is not for no one except the believer. If something of good/happiness befalls him he is grateful and that is good for him. If something of harm befalls him he is patient and that is good for him (Sahih Muslim). This changes the believer’s outlook on life. Something might be harmful, but he views it as a temporary difficulty and transforms it into an eternal blessing. By being patient when is he or she is afflicted with something, they know that this affliction is actually good in the end. You may dislike something although it is good for you, or like something although it is bad for you: God knows, and you do not know (Qur’ān 2:216). The Qur’ān explains We have created man into toil (Qur’ān 90:4).

[@soulchild216]

I’m so proud of you my friend! Allow me to include you in my prayers:). May God bless you and keep you, shine His face upon you and give you His precious peace. Thanks

[@40OverFashion]

Thank you!

[@gravewalker1632]

Amen and great blessings to you John.

[@rayurlich]

Fantastic authentic video. Like Winston Churchill said "If you're going through hell, keep going!". Thanks for your content and efforts. Next time I'm in L.A. dinner is on me.

[@jayspence8182]

Thanks for sharing. On June 30, 2019, after 34 years of marriage, my wife died of a heart attack. I’m learning to adjust to my new normal. Someone told me about 2 months ago that talking about it, is helping me to heal. I pray the you too can heal.

[@40OverFashion]

I'm so sorry to hear that Jay. Thank you for sharing! We'll all get through this together my friend!

[@supertal6074]

I'm 60 and a friend conned me out of 70% of my life's savings - he broke the law, and knowing our laws, most likely nothing will happen to him. I am in tremendous pain but I have to move on. On top of that I have depression and have fallen face first as a result of this. The pain is tremendous but I only have one option - move forward. I know people that lost children and realize my trial is nothing compared to theirs. Also, I have Faith in a Loving Father in Heaven that sacrificed his Beloved Son so I could live forever - that really keeps me going. It's the least I can do to strive to live a righteous life and help others as he did. Keep the Faith!

[@RaginRican3]

Thanks for sharing brother. Keep making content that resonates with us the middle age that know exactly what your going through.