I Lost My Style After Having Kids. How I'm Finding It Again!

[@melaniemurphyofficial]

I had kids and forgot how to dress myself, so I'm re-discovering my style. Hands up if you relate and if you want to come on this adventure with me! (Yes, those are grey hairs visible...you'll know after my last upload that life has been a bit insane recently and that I've been trying to find a work/life balance...been spending most of my time with the kids and I've not been to a salon in months lol but lookit, that's what this video is basically all about! Motherhood REALLY changes things!) xx

[@dilarapov9614]

Hey Melanie! Any book recommendations? I read idol based on your recommendation and all your books. I'd love to read another book you've loved. 💚 You look beautiful btw

[@D.C.626]

I love a lot of the clothes you wear, and even if shopping sustainably isnt often an option for me (due to cost per item or size limitations), I'd still love to know where you shop/places online you recommend. I love that green floral dress you wore when we met at your last Buffer fest in Toronto (I think I can still see it peeking out of your wardrobe), as well as the blouse you're wearing on this video. Give us all the deets and links you fashion goddess you! 😊

[@thayerwilliams905]

I'm firmly in the "my wardrobe is 90% what I got for free or very cheap, and lots of it doesn't fit right" stage of motherhood. But we did recently commit to getting me a full week of intentionally chosen clothes I'd love, or at least like. I also stay home with our child, and my ideal wardrobe of my dreams is filled with very outlandish, stand out clothing of every style. But what fits my life right now is athletic clothes, so that's what we focused on. We got leggings from my favorite brand, colorfulkoala. They fit well, they wear well, they don't wear out super fast but it's still a more affordable price point. We got new sports bras, that actually fit, and held things up and relatively still. I got those from running girl. I got new t shirts from goodwill, a second hand store. And new pajama sets from Walmart because I just felt like matching jammies are the adult way to do things and I really needed to feel adult and put together, to make up for 5 straight years of extremely interrupted sleep every day. We spent about $300, and got less than a full week of some things, but a full week of leggings and sports bras because that's what I knew would help me feel better and function better in my day the most. I'm so happy. It's been roughly 2 months and I just smile knowing I have clothes that fit and feel good and the boobies will stay where I fucking put them, finally. I'm also trying hard to restart my fitness journey. I don't feel good at the current place I'm in and I'm tired of it. So athletic clothes as every day cl9thes makes it easier to fit that extra movement in. But one day, I'm going to build a wardrobe filled with eclectic, interesting pieces and rave about them. 😅😅

[@D.C.626]

Also side note: I've always thought your "style" reminded me a lot of Emilia Clarke's character in Me Before You (and I mean this in the most complimentary way, as I adore all her outfits) - they're fun, lively, and eclectic. And you do look fab in a red dress 😊💚

[@TangerineHorizons]

Great vid! Thanks

[@marinemermaidsar]

Highly recommend Rachel Maksy for fun + vintage/cottage core/dark academia vibes inspo! She also does costumes/cosplay, but her everyday outfits are amazing for inspiration

[@LW-ex9ui]

The outfit you're wearing in this video is absolutely stunning on you! That blouse and bow hairstyle is perfect.

[@wyrdwitch13]

No kids, but in a post-menopause re-invention of self at the moment! I'm an elder goth but don't wear traditional gothy apparel-I like more avant garde and vintage stuff. I had to stop using black hair dye because the silver stripe is visible after a week! Now I am using henna for auburn hair and have added a wee bit of browns into my wardrobe for what I am calling "earth goth", mixing vintage victorian with avant garde stuff akin to Rick Owens. I have been decluttering and downsizing but still have a huge wardrobe. I'm doing a low buy year and shopping my closet (mostly) and altering/upcycling items to push creativity. Most everything I wear is very comfortable and pretty modest. I am SO HAPPY you are sharing your re-style journey with us! Happy to be along for this. Son De Flor is such a lovely company, I have yet to purchase from them but would like to one day (when I have need, not just want). Slainte!

[@khairahboukhatem5669]

This style sounds so cool, I'd be happy to buy a few pieces from you.

[@LowSlungBadBitch]

You sound so cool 😭

[@wyrdwitch13]

@@LowSlungBadBitch thank you very much! :)

[@wyrdwitch13]

@@khairahboukhatem5669 thank you very much! :)

[@jenniferritchie7090]

Great tip for realising your most frequently and infrequently worn clothes is to turn all of the hanger hooks around the other way. As you take things off to wear them and put them back on the 'right' easier to hang way, you'll see all of the things that you've never touched! A slow and steady way of making decisions :)

[@Larissa_KD]

I don't have kids but this video is still sooo relatable, I'm 28 now and most of my clothes I've owned for so many years and I just don't feel connected to them anymore, they're just not me?? I LOVE the exercise of the 5 items, that was really eye-opening for me! Absolutely also want to slowly declutter and swap stuff out. Thank you for this great video Mel! 💚

[@CJPeiper13]

I like what you're wearing in this video. I also agree with you about vintage furniture pieces. I am totally down with antiques. 😎👍

[@Joraelfa]

You look gorgeous in your new shirt and open hair. Elegant, effortless and very feminine. Anyone who has watched you for a long time would have noticed you feel comfortable and gravitate towards "vintage" style. You go gurl! ❤

[@albeard87]

As a 36 year old who also recently said bye to fast fashion and is going through a style reckoning, this video hit vv hard.

[@caesar98]

I find it so funny that the things I teased my big sister about 10 years ago are the clothing I would end up loving. Loafers, high neckline shirts, turtle necks, midi skirts, straight leg trousers. It's just the comfiest and so timeless

[@MillieFreckles]

THIS!!!

[@RacheyCK]

Covid and weight gain (remember the ‘corona stone’?) has destroyed my sense of style 😭 I’m also 34, childless but still very much relating to this video! I’ve always loved your sense of style in general over the years so I’m excited to come along on this journey!

[@megstarbright]

Please keep making these! I am in a similar situation but after being sick for about a decade and this is very helpful since I think my taste is very similar

[@johannawurschlop4457]

that last point of being an individual and not only defined by motherhood, also within motherhood, the you want your kids to know you as a person - that was really beautifully put! you're so right!!

[@bybeccamae]

I’m 25 but I’ve always felt guilt around spending money on clothes and never really bought the style I actually liked and for the past few years I’ve been doing exactly this! Investing in pieces that feel like me ❤ loved this video x

[@Februarlig]

I know that stage in motherhood, and the felling that you are ready for a wardrobe change - I'm currently in the ladder :)

[@uu7794]

Lovely closet. As you age wether kids or not it feels so important to wear comfortable clothes. Unfortunately many vintage clothes weren’t that lol. Do you guys/Melanie have suggestions to good vintage youtube channels? Ofc Karolina I know haha.

[@justErin2127]

When you were saying "you have a 3,4,5 year old ... the bun in the hair" I was truly putting up my default bun, while my 3 year old nibbles a snack. Are you in the house?? 😂 💚

[@juliar.3702]

Would love to see a journey of you discovering fashion again!

[@jazmine6530]

These videos are such a healthy breath of fresh air. I can't tell you how much it helps to see you talk about the pacing of these things in a way that is practical and realistic, doesn't promote over-consumption and also doesn't rely upon access to lots of money. The slow de-clutter, the purposeful shopping over the inclination to spend hundreds on a complete makeover. Same thing with your videos about slowly getting back to a place with your fitness goals, your home renovation. These things take so much time, none of us who aren't super wealthy or have the privilege of lots of time to kill are capable of these giant overnight changes that social media tries to make seem possible with huge fashion/home organization hauls or lots of time for the gym. These videos have been so so great, Melanie. As a long time viewer (maybe 8 years ?) I'm continuously inspired.

[@littlepackofvegans]

Thank youuuuu for making the video I needed!! I am mama to three, my littlest will be a year soon, and while I don't feel totally out of touch with my style I feel stressed at reaching for workout wear most of the time, it's so hard to fit personal style in with a practical lifestyle (especially as we're rural and I walk everywhere!) I loved this video, you look amazing and I'm so invested in this series 🫶🏼

[@circe.onessy]

for me personally im not at the stage of motherhood but i havent been well, recently was diagnosed with pcos and ive been struggling to try and lose alot of the weight gain that ive gotten over the last couple of years. i lost myself in terms of fashion since alot of my clothes no longer fit me/look good on me (in the same way that they used to) and thats been combined with a change in the styles and fashion that i like. ive got a pinterest board of inspo but the other steps you brought up were super helpful and have put me in a positive mood to really try and actively sort out my wardrobe. id absolutely love seeing you on this journey and hopefully ill manage to do it alongside you and everyone else trying to o it as well!! thank you so much x

[@alyssawolfe2879]

Can I just say, I find you completely stunning. Like not only in looks just the way you think and express yourself and what little you show us about the way you are as a mother, just leaves me breathless Haha. Like, I’ve been watching your videos for years and years, and I’m just in awe of the life you’ve built, I listen to your opinion on things and actually learn stuff haha I just love you, truly. The mood board you created for the type of style you’d like would really be so gorgeous on you. Anyway just wanted to poor my heart out to you! Love you and your content. 🫶🏼💚

[@heatherinde]

I’m in the middle of curating a new wardrobe based on weight gain (probably medication related) and also I just realize I don’t like many of my clothes anyway. I wear the worn out stuff and safe the beautiful pieces for a “special” day. I’ve been thinking about making a video about it because I think it’s so common to have this idealized self, conflicting with the actual real self. I want everything to feel like pajamas but look like I’m going to the red carpet. Haha Thanks for taking us on your journey. I am so here for it!

[@sachahill1967]

I so feel this as a 25 year old. I'm still wearing clothes I wore in high school, very much wearing and not styling. It's so strange too how we can have styles we appreciate but don't wear ourselves!

[@gwenalane5019]

Not a mom but I totally understand. I am the same age and it feels like the trendy youth clothes are too young and so it's like what do I like?! Most of my clothes end up in piles and I don't feel good in most so something to figure out with curiosity ❤

[@amyf2230]

Im having such similar feelings! I have a 4 year old and just went back to work full time and finished my masters. I feel proud of both parts of my life and have been really feeling like I’ve been wearing cotton t shirts with holes in them since 2020. I’ve been trying to be intentional about the clothes that I buy as I replace things that no longer fit. I don’t want to wear anything tight, I like selecting intentional fabrics. I’m with you and this was so inspiring, thank you!

[@Square-potato]

Absolutely enjoying going on this fashion journey with you! We seem to share the same style sense!

[@anabluu]

Jessica is the ultimate style inspo for all of us methinks 😊

[@judimcdonnell1971]

Oh you look like Marvellous Mrs Mavel.. exact, we really find ourselves again, it may not be in the same body or fashion but you need to make your own identity along the way.. what suits you may not suit others or your timeline is different.. all about how you feel comfortable ❤❤❤

[@angelabrum10]

Please keep up this series! I am in this situation and would love some inspiration

[@missfl0werstar]

This is such a great video. I think I'll need to rewatch it monthly till I finally get my post-kid wardrobe together. What's been the hardest is that most of the content out there goes A) here's what you need to buy, or B) declutter everything you don't love. 🙄 But when you're a mom of a little or littles, neither might work because you might not have the funds and you can't walk around n@ked till you do! So I love the idea of shopping your closet and slowly decluttering as pieces trickle in. My style has changed _radically_ after 2 kids, I'm kinda reverting back to what I've always loved without wanting to be trendy or please anyone. BTW, I got some pointy slingback shoes by Melissa, they're a different take from Vivaia but I like their styles a little better. Maybe less timeless but more interesting... Anyway, thank you so much for the inspiration!

[@tiffanynichol7765]

I absolutely love this because I am in the SAME BOAT. Slow fashion + mom life breastfeeding (yay for buttons!) + new body type + coming out of the baby fog + EXACTLY the style you're talking about. BUT with the added capsule wardrobe drill (I know you're going for minimal, but I'm REALLY trying to go there... As in everything works together unless it's a standalone piece like a dress) and also on the hunt for natural fabrics ONLY. No plastic, not even recycled plastic shoes. But that company sounds really neat 🩷 I'm always so happy to find KZbinrs that I've watched for years follow me into the same era of life and traveling down the same paths, being able to relate in new ways and such. Love you Melanie!

[@tiffanynichol7765]

Also need to add that unfortunately I HAVE to stay with my color scheme because of my very limiting fair olive undertone. Even beige makes me look green and sick. I have too many criteria to find clothes quickly.

[@pamelas.9801]

The whole time you are talking I keep thinking of how amazing you look in that blouse! You look like Liz Taylor in lord of the rings! Ugh I want that blouse and your complextion!

[@Jennifer-on8ln]

When you were talking about comfortable shoes it reminded me of a book I read recently called “Move your DNA: Restore Your Health Through Natural Movement”. Especially in light of your health scare, I think you’d really enjoy it!!! Also enjoying the video so far ☺️ fellow mom here, my one year old is sleeping next to me right now

[@D.C.626]

I'm about halfway through the video and honestly so excited about this topic. I actually did a wardrobe clear out last week myself! I'm 31, and like you, tend to gravitate to a lot of favourites in my closet. Im a student (mature student by comparison to my peers) as well as a nurse (though taking time off atm). I've also been plus size since I was in my teens. Aaaand i went to a Catholic high school with a uniform that made me look like a golf caddy (really eliminating the need for personal style for many years). Back then, I dressed almost exclusively in black, burgundy and navy. Channeling my inner vampire-slayer (think Kate Beckinsale in Vanhelsing) meets Buffy because I thought that dark clothes were slimming and if I couldn't look feminine and girly like my peers, at least I could look cool. I found your channel at the beginning of my 20s, and the brilliant colours in your wardrobe, the fun patterns (even if you dont love them as much now) really inspired me to expand my own fashion horizons. I was so damn sick of dressing in nothing but dark clothes! Seeing you in all your colours, the flouncy A-line skirts, made it seem like you were wearing your personality on the outside: your warmth, your laughter, your creativity. While not always the in-trend dresser (Jayzus why is everything nude/beige and cropped?!), I've always adored your style. I get what you mean about loving the look of certain styles, but knowing that they arent really "me" (I keep a box of clothes for "dress up" that are film or book inspired for that one-day when-the-mood-strikes-me moment). Trying to figure out how to dress in your 30s is hard! Unlike many young professionals working an office job, nursing has a "uniform", and being a uni student for the better part of a decade isnt really conducive to dressing like an "adult". Many of my clothes made me look like I was still trying to pull off being 19. I dont have a professional wardrobe for interviews, or nice dates with grown men. This is part of the challenge being commercially considered "plus size" (less availability of clothing I actually enjoy and affordability). Im working on dressing more like a "grown up", and I actually love the vintage styles too (love the Marilyn and Mrs. Maisel inspo, ive actually got dress patterns for dresses like that, and am in the process of learning to sew). But for now, I have a bunch of clothes that fit well (made sure to put all those front and center, rather than the items that might sit nicer with spanx), are comfortable, and make me smile because of all the colours ❤ cant wait to see and hear more about your fashion exploration

[@stephtyee3484]

Omg! This video hits so hard with me right now. About a month ago, out of the blue, I could no longer stand about half of my wardrobe. Can't even style those items comfortably anymore. Idk whether it's a mid-30s thing. Funnily, 2 of my current favourite items are pieces that I've kept for a few years because i thought they were cool but could never fit into my style back then. Day to day dressing is getting really tedious. But I'm excited to rediscover my style.

[@amberwilcox8835]

Not a mum and I don't plan to be, but after the pandemic and the loss of my soul dog, I really lost sight of who I am and what I like. Slowly SLOWLY trying to feel like a person again. 31 and feeling very lost but hopeful.

[@almudenagarciaperucha5455]

Thank you for the video Melany, just like you said I feel I lost myself in the pandemic. I gained 20kg after entering a wonderful relationship with my fiancé and it’s very strange to feel like you don’t know how to dress yourself. Looking forward to this series! ❤

[@hannahansley8654]

I also lovvvvve the vintage vibe! My struggle is when you search anything online, you just get hammered with Shein/Temu type sites or other fast fashion sites! It's so hard to find good quality clothing brands that you can trust aren't scams when you don't know anything about brands. I also live in a small town so my secondhand shopping range is...limited to say the least. I still plan on going for sure. The other half of the struggle (for me personally) is I need to drastically reduce my time spent in stores that sell fast fashion. Because I have a hard time resisting if I see something I really like. Online shopping I actually find much simpler to resist.

[@Emiliemooles]

I love this video. I don’t have children but I have been feeling disconnected from my style/wardrobe. This video has given me lots to think about. I’m excited to go on this journey with you! Also every time anyone in my life says ‘who am I?’ I think of Jean Valjean singing it and have to do so out loud! 😂 So I loved the references to it!

[@rutabaga_ruth5450]

Why do I relate so much to everything you post!! I need this right now

[@93vlogs39]

Please do a lookbook when you have gattered a few items to match with your current wardrobe

[@buzzi2k]

Love this! I also highly recommend Hannah Louise Poston's style content for those being thoughtful about revamping or filling gaps in wardrobe

[@emilydevilliers9499]

A perfectly timed video! I have a 17 month old and have just been having the same thought myself! Took myself round the charity shops last week.

[@emilydevilliers9499]

So fed up with wearing the same boob-flap maternity T-shirts I've been wearing throughout pregnancy and breastfeeding!

[@grena37]

I recommend taking up sew or knitting or any sort of clothing making class. Even just one beginner class to learn to mend would be so beneficial. This will put into your mind some principles to take into clothing. If you know what sort of skills it takes to make the sort of cuts and shapes you love and find as classic it will give you an unshakeable instinct to shop responsibly and inspire you to work with and wear materials and fibers that you wouldn't think about. How do you think our grandparents knew what good quality clothing was? A lot of them were adjacent to clothing makers if not doing it themselves. Excited to follow your journey :)

[@brihannonstrathern8801]

I love heels too! But am SO with you sister, I need practical shoes. I don't want them but I do need them....I feel so seen 😂

[@AshlaSue]

This video speaks to me so much! I've commented on your IG before that I'm in my tshirt and leggings mom uniform and I miss dressing up. Even my casual was dressy by comparison to now. Must take inspiration from this and refind myself ❤😊

[@forest-eyes]

I absolutely love the outfit you’ve styled today- so classic, and ‘dark academia’ esque 📚 Thinking carefully about longevity of items, materials used, quality over quantity is great advice. Considering what our own style is instead of following fast fashion trends is SO IMPORTANT. The fast fashion industry with its quick turnover, low quality and disregard for caring if items are sustainably made is such a huge climate crisis issue.

[@emmalcm]

I can definitely identify with this! We have a 6 month old baby and really for practical reasons, jeggings and a sweatshirt has become my 'mum uniform'. My hair is mostly up in a bun because our child likes to grab and try to eat my hair haha. I'm currently a stone heavier than I was pre baby and I struggle with the fact that I only get time to work out around half the amount I did before. It's hard to find the right balance between clothes being practical and feeling good in them isn't it, then the confidence thing just adds to it.

[@GeorgieSutton]

I love this! And your outfit and hair combo is giving the little mermaid Ariel in the boat scene with the bow and shirt in the best way 😍

[@astridgrelli]

Perfect video at a perfect timing. I feel exactly the same after having my son who s been 2.5 years old now. Lost in translation...😂❤️ need a complete change. So thanks a lot for the inspiration dear! Grateful 🙏

[@Jennifer-on8ln]

The shirt you’re wearing looks phenomenal on you 😍 also looove your Pinterest board, that kind of style suits you so much 🥹

[@diga1234567890ify]

what you're wearing in this video soooo suits you, so elegant and feminine, the hairstyle, the earings, the blouse - everything you're so beautiful inside and out

[@svitrai]

Here for it! Pls make it into a series :) Parent of 18 month old. starrted my style "revamping" about 8 months ago.... (Thrifting, clothes swaps with frineds...)

[@alissa6380]

Absolutely love this outfit on you, Melanie! You look so classic, elegant, grounded and harmonic! This brand definitely suits you. (And those sleeves -- those sleeves! Ah, chef's kiss, perfection.) I don't have kids but I've definitely felt that weird transition feeling over the last year, where I've always dressed very 'young' for my age, but recently (mostly after my thirtieth birthday, which I still haven't entirely processed) I've finally picked up a few "woman clothes" rather than "uni student" clothes (because I needed them for work), and I'm not entirely comfortable seeing myself in them -- even the ones that are the most Me out of all the "woman clothes" on offer, there's just something that's "aaah, no! get it away!!" But then at the same time I've started to appreciate some aspects of them, and I dunno, it's just very weird. It'll be interesting to see what I do now that I'm freelance, when I need people to take me seriously (especially in terms of style, like I know what I'm doing), but I also have more freedom to look like myself, and my self still leans more alternative/eccentric than is perhaps typical in my age group. Anyway, i's funny that this video is coming at a time when I've just started writing a guide about exactly that -- how to (re)find your style when your garderobe is a mish-mash of things, when your body has changed, or you just don't know where to begin. And just this week, Hannah posted a video about doing a mindfulness/creativity course that I've also been doing, completely unrelatedly!! It's funny, the things that come up as common themes at certain times in the little niche of the internet that I've cultivated for myself. (Btw, if anyone's reading this and would like some help with their style, hit me up! I've got a really good eye, lots of helpful questions and suggestions, and I need to practice using all of that on strangers before I start charging people for it. 😅)

[@Dunja79640]

This video made me think about my style. Never really thought about it but started to realise in the last weeks, that I do want a little change. But what kind of change?? Good point to start questioning my wardrobe.

[@KellySass]

I am in the exact same situation and classic looks which were once easy to find are harder to find these days (ex. My favourite shops didn't survive the pandemic) so I have been slowly finding things to wear on second hand sites like Poshmark. It's been a slow process of remembering what I used to wear before children (am also a pandemic mom) and finding these pieces like it's a treasure hunt!

[@TashTaylor98]

I, too, am a vintage timeless fashion girly. I know that those silhouettes suit my body, make me feel and look my best, and genuinely make me so happy and confident. But over the past 2-3 years i have lost my sense of self due to a combination of things: constant weight changes due to an ED and changing/coming off contraception, moving from a city to the countryside and now I'm pregnant with my 1st baby. I've been in a rut of wearing clothes that are stretchy or oversized to accommodate my ever-changing figure, multiple layers for the more exposed weather in the moors and now concealing my pregnancy thus far due to family history, fear and trauma. But this video has sparked that love and confidence i once had with my clothes and given me the desire to get back there. (All-be-it not immediately due to waiting on the little munchkins arrival). Thank you, Mel! I feel now that i can and inevitably will find that little piece of me that's been lost ❤

[@MadeleineGardea]

Oh, this could NOT have come at a better time - literally two days ago I was scouring Amazon for "trendy mom outfits" because I don't like anything I have anymore, nothing fits right postpartum, and I don't even know what to look for! I'm not a "cool girl" either but I don't know what I am! Haha. Thanks for the tips and for making me feel SEEN, as you somehow always do. 💚

[@LowSlungBadBitch]

Try thrifting for inspiration !!

[@lornatw]

When you said 'a 1 year old', my heart skipped and I struggled to swallow my biscuit wondering what do you mean she's 1! Blimey what have I been doing all this time, really got a kick up the bum to start living presently because time surely flies and I can only be 'taking a break' for so long! 💗

[@melaniemurphyofficial]

She will be going on 16 months and honestly I feel like she was born last week! 😭😭 But also that she’s always existed!? It’s crazy! And yeah seeing time pass in other people’s lives online really can pull you out of a rut…sometimes you can lose all concept of time! ❤️ Go easy on yourself, we all retreat sometimes xxx

[@littleheartinlove7387]

I was a vintage girly. I wore 1940 50s style everyday, did my hair everyday. Then became chronically ill and had to relearn how to dress with my limitations. I still gravitate around vintage style but in a very different way. I used to be all about the skirts and now I’m wearing tons of wide legged dressy pants that hide my compression stockings. Or in the total opposite way, very short skirts to display the fun patterns of my stockings. But I used to be a patterned skirt girl and now as I already have bold patterns on my stockings (that I NEED to wear every day) I need some plain skirts. Evolving your style is hard but once you’re on the other side you feel so much better. I’m getting ok with my wardrobe finally. Now I need accessories. I just wear my clothes. I need things to style them.

[@zoecaldwell9832]

2 hands way up. This is my life right now! and to top it all off, I do not understand any of the trends right now. It's like I was lost in time and just resurfaced ha!

[@katyskyebooream2850]

Man do I feel this. I have such a weird mix of clothing after kids. I am still trying to sort this out and my kids are now 3 and 5.

[@89DoraH]

Well I'm lucky enough to have loved the same clothing since almost 10 years !

[@mikabithell1047]

I’ve never been a person who feels comfortable in jeans and don’t find them comfortable and mostly opt for dresses. However I began wearing vintage trousers I thrifted and they’re so much more comfortable with better pockets than most jeans x Worth considering if jeans feel uncomfortable, and feels way more put together without much effort x

[@jinsong8468]

I always loved whatever earrings you are wearing, any links for them or share some recommendations? Thank you. LOVE YOU AND YOUR STYLE AND MAKEUP.

[@moodyandtheartist]

Have not had kids, but between the pandemic and other things, I relate. I totally relate. This video couldn’t have been more timely!

[@auag19]

I am 6 months pregnant with my first child. I am tired of winter clothes and the same pregnancy pants I've been wearing. So I recently went out and bought myself a dress that made me feel more like myself again. Dressing like myself and feeling good in what I wear made me feel amazing. I too don't want to fade into the background in motherhood, but let's see how that journey goes, I know losing yourself a bit is also very normal. Anw, just wanted to say, I can relate! 😊

[@dawnhazell2697]

Did you read my mind?! A month ago I tried on all the clothes I own and listed 40 items of clothing and that is my budget for new clothes. I am also allowed to buy 1-2 items of well-chosen brand new clothing per month. I don't have kids but very much lost my way in the pandemic. When it started I was a single 21 year old in my final year of uni, and after moving back in with my parents and working from home every day to moving in with my boyfriend and wearing scrubs to work and going to the gym every day and thinking about mortgage rates and pensions I now alternate between activewear, scrubs, and athleisure wear. Have no idea who I am anymore lol but made myself a pinterest board and did some experimenting with my vinted purchases (some items going straight back on sale immediately what was I thinking) I now know what qualities an item needs (COMFORT!! POCKETS!! SHAPE!! MODESTY!!) and what kind of style makes me feel good (goth grunge, fabrics my mum would describe as 'grandmother's curtains', long skirts and dresses layered with long sleeve tops or crop tops). I am now on my way to building a wardrobe that actually feels like me!

[@aliceash396]

Im only 14 weeks postpartum so my body is still changing and I hope to get pregnant again in another year or so but this has inspired me to find the bits in my wardrobe that fit, are comfortable and I love and make them easily accessible so I can wear them more often.

[@katie7382]

Such a wonderful video 💛 Thankyou so much Melanie Xx

[@brookeshotwell9916]

I haven't had kids, but my body has changed quite a bit in my 30s due to age and actually having a workout routine now. Please share the brands you find! We have similar styles and I'm always looking for good sustainable places to shop. Bonus points if they offer clothing in more than black, beige and neutrals.

[@missmeakat]

I got some weird looks wearing an outfit that i thought was pretty normal (blue v neck jumper, stripey colourful silk skirt), so my new mantra is to go weirder. If I'm going to get judgemental looks for normal outfits I might as well go the full bonanza! I dressed entirely in bright yellow the other day and no one even looked at me oddly 😂

[@suseey9623]

A video of everything I want to put in my wardrobe. Please tell me where you got that blouse. It's beautiful!

[@beckycanty]

The blouse is from son de flor. She says it in the video

[@justaylin5139]

Yay a Melanie video!!

[@Cathalreilly762]

Where was a few from Longford on the Titanic as well

[@noa_thinks]

i can't relate to the kids part of this conversation, but as a trans person, i have had to rediscover my style. although i don't feel completely comfortable in my body, i am constantly trying to find clothes that fit my body in a way that highlights the parts i want to show off and can hide the parts that make me uncomfortable. i also have done the whole 'swap something old out for something new to me' process and while it can be slow, it makes me look at the clothes i do have in a different eye to see if there is a way to make it fit for me. good luck in the process - i can't wait to follow along.

[@Sophwaffles]

Melanie! Your hair looks lovely like that❤ How often do you need to get your roots done?!

[@hadassahm3016]

I remember I used to dress up so nicely every day for my old job. When I moved to uni I broke a suitcase trying to stuff it full of clothes and now I gravitate between the same five tops and bottoms every week. I would spend nearly an hour trying to put together an outfit and just hating how my body looked in everything, so I curated a tiny wardrobe of 'safe' clothes to put on without exhausting myself every single day. I also go to the gym a lot to try and feel better about my appearance so I mostly live in athleisure but I would like to dress nicely again

[@refreshingtwist]

As someone who has been 20lbs overweight the last 15 yrs of her life (and can't seem to lose a pound to save her life - despite all her efforts) I wear what fits me and what I think "flatters" my shape. But I sure don't love my clothes. I miss styling myself. That used to bring me such joy. If I were to dress my dream way, I'd dress boho. But I'm silly, and probably suffering from body dysmorphia, and will not allow myself this until I lose 20lbs. Which seems like it may never happen. 😢

[@wisemamawitch9464]

Relatable, as always.

[@claudiajade624]

So relevant to me right now! Just gotten out of the needing-to-wear-boob-accessible-clothing-at-all-times stage with my 20 month old. My tops are all 'work tops' and I dont like wearing them on the weekend. Basically jut have a fw long loose dresses I like. and thats all i know what to wear. I dont think i'll ever be a 'styling' person, but I would like to do more :-P

[@bradyeire]

I think we might have the exact same style, Melanie. I was typed a Jewel Winter and Classic Ingenue by House of Colour in November. Would love if you share your pinterest board, I NEED some feminine comfy clothes and shoes too but struggling to find them.

[@starhill6792]

I don’t have any children, and I won’t have children, but I am in the fashion slump post COVID & having gained weight. This is quite helpful ❤

[@ldevon2318]

Love this style on you! ❤

[@TheJanaRina]

I feel the same and I have not even had 2 kids. nice video :)

[@kittifire]

Its interesting how we think of ourselves as having disappeared but our children dream of us all the time and we are super visible to them, its nice to remember that. But also funny to consider their vision of me as permanently with a top bun.

[@beaucrawley1191]

I LOVE this and totally relate but I wish I could turn off the background music when you’re talking 😂 my little adhd brain can only hear the vintage songs and can’t hear you 😅❤

[@KK-yr2vc]

I'd love to hear your thoughts on vivaia shoes if you decide to get them. I saw the same brand deal and I'd love some nicer looking shoes but they're always so uncomfy!

[@ellaaxford7937]

Love this! Perfect style for you

[@staceyhunt6769]

My style didn't change much in having my kiddos, and I also love vintage or vintage style clothes. I also like nerdy twists (Several hand made gathered, knee length skirts with pokemon prints or video game characters. Solid coloured circle skirts with a superhero-emblem t-shirt). And I've found that vintage dress style is incredibly nursing friendly for the most part. I'd had my first child when I was 21. My 2nd when first was 19 months, and my 3rd when 2nd was 19 months (Brutal!). 3rd was born Jan 2021 so the ends of the pandemic. And after a couple really really hard years including a 2.5yr break up with their father (He had a lot of mental health stuff going on and there was no room for our relationship amongst having children to raise and him sorting that out), I really thought I was done having kids. Skip to now, and I'm 20 weeks pregnant. 😂 Just as I'd started getting items that fit my new, non-postpartum body, that didn't center around nursing. Was very sad to put them into storage after about a month. 😭 But fortunately, most of my skirts fit just fine above my bump, and can be paired with the cropped tops I usually wear with high waisted skirts so it isn't bulky. I always order my jumpers 2+ sizes big for extra coziness so was good there. And pleasantly surprised to find I'm likely not going to need any maternity specifical clothes. Just maybe a few nursing bras.

[@Badgirlgibbs]

Me in my trusty yoga pants and baggy tee 😮 But I totally feel like this

[@sabreenaazam8876]

Could we see how you do this new clothing journey? Also can you show us where we could purchase new versions of what you’re looking at.

[@amaliaahmad283]

Just when I finally managed to find my style after my child turns 4.. now im back to random clothing n hairbun with 2nd child of 1 month 😂.. we'll get there again 💪

[@mandy]

Oh gurl I am doing the same thing. I feel like the pandemi meant I lived in my PJs for years and my body changed due to my health and I have NO idea what works for me anymore. Plus I am older and there are just things I don't want to wear anymore because I am closer to 40 than 30 now

[@clairewillow6475]

I’m 34 and just got back from shopping 🛍️. I have a 7 year old son and 10 month old baby girl. I went to two trendy shops and *almost* bought a pair of cool cargo pants that were flattering. But then I remembered that I only have one top that would go with it. And the tops at the trendy stores are all cropped (not flattering on my mom bod). So I gave in and the third store I went to was a more high end / mature one. Right away it was such a better experience. The sales women treated me well and the tops were better quality. Yes more expensive, but I could think of tons of things I already owned that would go with them . I’m slowly donating the trendy / cheap stuff and replacing it with more grown up styles. That said, I don’t want to veer to far into the mature styles, I’m in my mid thirties not fifties

[@aeolia80]

here's maybe a controversial suggestion depending on who you ask, lol, try looking at orthopedic shoes, I'm just saying, they tend to be pretty comfy, and while yes, there are a lot that are still kinda grandma-ish, but they've come a long way since then. I bought some sandals that are orthopedic that are velcro on the toes and on the ankle with an extremely comfy sole, and they actually look pretty stylish, lol, I was surprised.

[@jenniferritchie7090]

I'm never this early! What a joy.

[@caitlinutt6254]

Highly recommend Rothys over Vivaia! The customer service at Vivaia was very poor and I felt the fit/quality was lesser. ❤

[@SamarkandChan]

Lucy and yak do some vintage recreation jeans that are a great cut.