I'm Angry That My Girlfriend Has A $600k Mortgage That Is Ruining Our Future r/Relationships

[@betheguy_posts]

(S2): Poor kid keeps apologizing for how she views her sister. Its a shame she's been made to feel that way. Parents who use children as weapons are awful, they hurt the kid they wield just as much as the one they strike.

[@DeathclawJedi]

She is apologizing because she knows somewhere in her head and heart that it wasn't her half sisters fault. But her mother basically parantified her and she resents her half sister because of it. It's an understandable conflict in her head that she'll have to deal with over time as she gets herself sorted out.

[@zerobolt9506]

​@@DeathclawJedithis

[@suitov]

@@DeathclawJedi Exactly this. She's young and out of the situation now. I'm certain she'll do well with counselling and learn to see her past from a considered, adult viewpoint. I hope she also has some fun doing a little of the kid stuff she missed out on. Sounds like her dad is on board with that.

[@TomikaBrown-n2o]

She is an asshole she must be white because blk family stick together we would never our hate our siblings because what our parents did you hate the sister because what your parents did

[@TiffWaffles]

I feel heartbroken for both OP and their sister. Mostly OP because she's had to suffer so much and she shouldn't have had to suffer.

[@Deedoof]

Story 2: OP could only eat her sister's drool-covered leftovers? WTF kind of sick parent does that?

[@robertx8020]

At least she seems to have a great stepmother Always nice to read about great stepmothers after all those horror stories ...

[@ronhall5395]

That is. So stupid . Mom is too lazy to only give the younger sister a little of the food to see what she likes? I guess that would be an extra dish to wash? I think part of this is to try to punish her ex for dumping her. When didn't want any kids but took them both just to spite her ex. Glad this girl got out.

[@littleblackpistol]

That is 100% abuse. It's sick. Utterly foul. It's basically saying eat inedible, tainted food or starve. DIsgusting. OP should have thrown the plates in her mother's face and reported her to CPS herself.

[@projectjupiter5523]

hearing that made me furious. OP was horrificallt abused for a decade and failed every single day by the courts and CPS. I'm so glad they had an out through their father and friends. I hope their sister can be taken out of her mother's custody or at least has some safeguarding to ensure that she is still being properly cared for now that her mother can no longer rely on the slave labour or fraud she derived from OP.

[@LisaApril]

Story one: I want a million dollar house but I can't afford it on my own so I'm trying to find a woman who will get it for me.

[@AngryReptileKeeper]

He wants a sugar mama, not a partner.

[@HeoBaby24]

What makes op so bad? Wtf so we're ignoring the part where she paying 600k? Basically in debt rn? But oh op is bad?

[@HeoBaby24]

@Nyanx4 when did he said he wanted her a to pay for it? From what I get he not over here demanding she buy him a house. Seems to me he wants to buy one with her But he can't do that since she 600k in freaking debt and if they get married No way a bank would allow it to happen since ya know she 600k in debt

[@HeoBaby24]

@Nyanx4 of wanting to buy a house? Yah I guess that makes him a bit entitled for having expectations and goals for the future? Also either way it's still debt regardless no reason for her to have to pay 600K for a house she doesn't own. Yah I get it's for her family but what why a home that the mortgage is 600k? Especially when it'll take you 2 and a half decade to actually pay it off Op never demanded he wanted her to pay for a million dollar home He said he wanted to do it with her. But can't since when they do get married they won't be able to get a loan from the bank when she still paying for a mortgage Op NTA

[@asherikamichaela8425]

​@heobaby2450 Uh.... You didn't read that fully, did you? The gf is co-owner with her brother, splitting the mortgage equally four ways with him and their parents while she lives there. Once she moves into her own place, she'll turn all rights and responsibilities over to them. She may help them from time to time, but the debt won't be hers anymore. The original OP, on the other hand, can't afford that house, let alone the "million dollar home" he's fantasizing about. He doesn't want her, he wants a fat wallet. He practically stated as much. With none of the work, I might add.

[@LotusBloom0309]

This poor kid. This is what happens when you parentify your kids. This is abusive behavior. I know that it is not the little sister’s fault for anything, and with maturity, I think the OP will understand that, but she is just too close to the situation right now. This is 100% the mother’s fault.

[@lina9535]

Honestly, it's not even really about maturity. It'd empathy. Even small kids can feel that and understand when things isn't someone elses fault. I do feel bad for OP, but I also feel bad for the half-sister. OP is misplacing her anger and resentment. Those should be 100% aimed at her mom. I've been in a situation when I was younger than OP, and my mom didn't have much time for me either (single parent with a demanding job and worthless colleagues). At first I was upset with my mom, but then I realised that it was her work that was the problem. Not her. I think that a small part of OP doesn't want to fully blame the mom, and therefor directs everything towards the half-sister. It's kind of what my niece did when her younger brother was born (she was her dads favorite until her brother came along.). Trust me, having to talk down a 6 year old from hating a 3 year old isn't that easy.

[@shaetoons3602]

Story 2: I understand Op’s resentment and I’m glad she got away from her shitty mother. I know the half sister isn’t to blame but op was neglected and forced to take care of her sister growing up. They have every right to feel the way they do.

[@chickensandwich8808]

I ahree she has every right to feel how she does, however I hope she gets therapy at some point to deal with it.

[@jessicarichards6796]

OP in the last story had a rough go of it. Her mom caused her to become a bitter young woman who will probably be no contact with her for a long time. I feel bad for her disabled sister, she won’t understand what’s happening, just that her main caregiver is gone I suppose. Op didn’t say how disabled she was, so she may not even realize that. I hope op gets to go to college and live for herself for once.

[@anonmouse15]

As an Australian, the phrase "million dollar home" conjures up a mental image of a slum shack largely made out of corrugated iron.

[@llcdrdndgrbd]

I’m p sure this is also the case in Canadian cities

[@anonmouse15]

@@llcdrdndgrbd No doubt.

[@lovinglifebutnotonearth3909]

Holy hell, that OP is a gold digger. I hope the ex gf tells all of his future partners what he is like

[@thomasjoseph5876]

LOL most obvious fake story I have heard in a long time. Isn't it convenient she just happened to find the post and gives an update we all wanted to hear LOLOLOLOL. Jesus, people needs hobbies other than posting fake stories on Reddit LOLOLOL.

[@BlackTheBerserker]

@@thomasjoseph5876 Don't get me wrong, I get what you're saying, but aita is one of the most popular subreddits, so if it is real, it wouldn't be shocking someone's partner could find their post.

[@SunBeeSmoked]

@@thomasjoseph5876just enjoy the videos it literally doesn’t matter if they’re real or not.

[@radfordra]

Nah don’t spread that around without proof. Don’t want to give that asshole a reason for a slander/libel suit

[@catsncrows]

@@thomasjoseph5876 real question: what about the story makes you feel it is fake? Context, I have people in my family that enter relationships with a smile and a shovel. I don't find it outside the realm of possibility. I've seem some extreme entitlement Will supply story upon request, one is actually funny

[@PlasticBluVentRabbit]

Story 2. Good on you, op. Cut out the abuser and let that bridge burn.

[@valgardener7656]

Story 1: "I'm worried that I'll be unable to find a partner willing to stick it out because of my situation". OMG, this poor girl. Plenty of guys would love to share a modest home with an honorable, compassionate, and high-earning woman with strong and stable family ties. Sheesh.

[@mbyerly9680]

It's easy to see the reason she thought OP was such a catch was because she has such poor self esteem.

[@dorianleakey]

its not a problem, but it seems weird they are in this situation, what was happening before they got the mortgage?

[@HeoBaby24]

Why are people flaming op? Because he didn't want to stick with someone who basically in 600k in debt? Why is her family living in a house that cost that much? Op isn't in the wrong nor is a gold digger for also thinking about his future and not being responsible for the a mortgage for the next 21 years

[@dorianleakey]

OP is definitely a gold digger, without quesiton, @@HeoBaby24 they cannot afford a million dollar home but insist this is what they must have and want their partner to pay for it, they quite explicitly say they want their partner to contribute more than them and they dont want to work for it. I think its weird she is buying her parents a 600k home and they havent started that process themselves. She will inherit that house. I think her plan is a bit off, they should be trying to pay it off early and then the value of the asset would make buying a second home much easier.

[@sgnibble1]

@@HeoBaby24he is a gold digger by not trying to get his income to the same level as hers and demanding an expensive house

[@dianecheney4141]

You know that by the time the girlfriends parents pass away, the house will be worth more than a million

[@cerberus3k158]

ambition is a turn on, that original OP was an absolute nob. good on the gf for making him take a long walk off of a short cliff

[@HeoBaby24]

Yah I wouldn't want to stay with someone who has to spend 600k on a house that isn't theirs

[@terramarini6880]

@@HeoBaby24 Wrong, it is half hers and half her brothers, they both share the debt. When the parents die the siblings will probably settle up and one will own the home while the other gets half the equity in the home in dollars or they will sell and split, real estate is a solid investment. The mortgage is not his problem, pre marital debt is not a marital responsibility, just like savings from before marriage and/or inheritance remains out of the picture as long as those funds are not co mingled in joint accounts or assets. He's welcome to go get that million dollar home on his own and have the deeds in his name. Pretty sure he makes enough to get a mortgage as long as he himself is without debt, his employment/income is secure and he can come up with a good down payment. Might have to start a little smaller and be prepared to sell every time it's a sellers market and he can get more than he paid, then sit on the money until it's a buyers market and buy low. A prenup would be a good way to ensure finances are kept separate.

[@aduckwithanumbrella]

Not 1st OP getting pissy because his girlfriend was using her own money to help her family and not buy him a million dollar home.

[@HeoBaby24]

No op is upset his partner lied and is basically is 600k in debt Yah he wants to by a million dollars home but why is she paying 600K? He never said he wanted her to by it He saying he wants to buy one with her but he can't get that from her since their literally no way for her to even by a home herself being in 600k in debt

[@timc2928]

Also she compromised her credit. That debt will make it that much harder to buy a home with anything other than all cash. They are financially incompatible and have different priorities. Best they split up.

[@Obiwantuan]

@@HeoBaby24 Feel free to read it again, The guy writes that the GF, her brother, and their parents all pay on it.

[@HeoBaby24]

@@Obiwantuan yah but again who's still has it in their name and is paying for it Still?

[@DaniS398]

@@HeoBaby24 lmao they were dating for a year. She's had that house for 8 years. She didn't lie. You don't really start talking big finances until you're really serious (at about the year mark for most people. Also she owns that house with her siblings and lives in that house. He makes nowhere near what she makes so he wanted to use her income to buy his dream house. He litterally said "I'll just find another woman who can afford my dream house. He's a gold digging w*ore

[@jimdob6528]

Story 2 nta. Not a monster. Perfectly logical and understandable.

[@RJLiams]

It's logical to blame someone who has no say in any decisions made? It's understandable to hold hatred for someone for the soul "crime" of being born? OP is absolutely a monster for the way she views her sister. I wouldn't be surprised if OP hid the possibility of her beating her sister with how much hate she has for her.

[@philla1689]

@@RJLiams Ah yes, the classic case of a commenter victim blaming a OP to twist a story into their view. (note- The OP needs a lot of therapy to get over her resentment, over her sister and realized its her mother who caused it not her sister.

[@RJLiams]

@@LostSoulchild89 It being common doesn't make it logical or understandable. Especially when the person they resent did literally nothing. She's literally blames her for her shitty childhood when you, I, and OP know damn well that blame should be aimed exclusively at the mother. The way she speaks about her sister is down right disgusting. I would assume because I've personally seen first hand how resentment can lead to abuse. Had a disabled brother myself who was also an affair baby. Dad resented him and would say and do the absolute cruelest things to him. Saying some absolutely vial shit that no child should ever have to hear. Wishing death on him. Pushing him purposefully when he came to get me for visitation. I hated my mom, but I hated my dad even more for how he's treating someone who's just as much of a victim. People with positions of power absolutely do abuse those they hate with that power. How a person treats and views someone disabled will absolutely tell you who the are as a person. OP is a monster. I have zero sympathy for abalist, victim blamers who's willing to hate a disabled child for something that isn't her fault.

[@mustbetheSUN]

​@@RJLiams It's contemplated by psychiatry - in the mind of OP, who was a child when this started happening, the sister remains associated with the misery she went through. You can't blame her or call her a monster for feeling the way she feels. Well technically you can, but it's just stupid, because you'd be doing the same thing. The OP isn't any more at fault that her disabled sister. In time, as her mindset heals, the resentment will also go away.

[@sadtitties222]

​@@RJLiams Oh man, I'm so sorry you were cursed with a sperm donor that vile and reprehensible. You and your brother didn't deserve to be abused like that and I wish nothing but misery for that lowlife who dares to call himself a parent. 😡

[@kyriacarica5862]

I don’t feel sorry for OP 2’s mom. I feel sorry for the half-sister. She didn’t ask to be born to an abusive parent. Hopefully, some therapy and time away will make OP realize that it wasn’t her sister who caused the situation. It was their crap garbage person of a mother. She keeps saying that she doesn’t hate her sister for who she is, but I don’t believe it. I think the abuse is making her blindly hate her disabled sister. And neither of it is their fault. It’s their egg donor

[@taylorslade961]

I love when the other party finds the post and makes their own post with their own perspective. I wish that happened more.

[@jbgra2566]

Story one's OP gave strong vibes similar to that gold digger boyfriend who didn't want his gf to gift inheritance money she received to her mom, and wanted to snitch on her to the irs

[@juanhaines7295]

Story 2 I heard this one before. Op isn't a monster. She's a kid who's been abused mentally, emotionally and financially.

[@lindah3803]

Yep, even idiots on Reddit had to dig on her. At least say goodbye to your sister. Don't slam the door shut. Leave open the possibility of reconnecting later with her. WTF. That girl has been through torture. She needs a clean break. At least now she is getting that break. Dad is doing everything he can to help her deal with her past life,giving her love, support with her future. She has a lot of anger and resentment to sort out. It won't be easy. I believe she'll come out really good in the end.

[@browhattheactualfu-2659]

​@@lindah3803Like nothing good would come from keeping a door open. The biggest "bond" they had was op being forced to eat their sisters spit covered leftovers. They act like keeping contact would be a good thing as if op wouldn't resent the sister and the sister wouldn't be brainwashed to resent op right back 🤦🏿‍♀️

[@kichikitsu]

shes still extremely ableist and speaks super fucking cruelly of her sister. yeah, shes an abused child, but that doesnt excuse her villainizing another child. yes, this is what almost always happens due to parentification, but that STILL does not mean she gets a free "be as cruel and ableist towards her as possible w/out consequences" card. no, she doesnt need to contact her sister or keep the door open or whatever. but "not holding a disgusting hatred for a disabled child" and "not having any obligation to remain in contact with your abuser and the kid still in her custody" are not mutually exclusive. abuse victims can still be shitty and you are allowed to point that shitty behaviour out without dismissing the abuse they experienced. i am saying this as an abuse survivor who was parentified [forced to esssentially raise my emotionally immature mother] as well.

[@lindah3803]

@@kichikitsu She's entitled to her feelings. After all the crap she's been through,she's exploding. Of course she's slamming the sister. She's slamming mom to. She's way past due. A person would think that someone who claims to be a survivor would show some compassion and empathy for this gal. Instead,here you are. Pitching a sanctimonious B session.

[@kichikitsu]

@@lindah3803 the sister is a ten year old disabled child. OP is unfairly projecting onto another significantly younger kid as if she had any choice (or possibly even awareness) in the abuse OP suffered. and like -- ive been envious of my niblings. Especially when my mother would decide to babysit them and then proceed to offload almost everything onto me. Even when I was in physical pain bc of my own disability, while she sat on her ass. Ive been envious of my eldest sister, who got the objectively "best" version of our mother growing up and was able to get away as soon as possible and never look back. But I'm also able to recognize that the only person to blame, the only person that my anger is valid against, is my abuser. Not anyone else caught in the crossfire. Thats all to say I GET it, you need to take the time to understand that youre projecting your feelings onto the wrong person, and I would be able to understand that... But OP is disgustingly ableist. That is not something that can be excused by "the ugly reality of the aftermath of abuse," that is something she is making a conscious choice in and she doesn't give a single shit about how downright cruel she's being bc she does not view disabled people as humans. Let me ask you a question: would you be okay with this if the kid wasnt disabled but say -- half black. This little girl is biracial, and instead OP is calling her the n slur and making other racist comments against her? Would that be okay for you because of the abuse OP has faced? Would you be able to excuse the slurs and cruel comments then? Because OP may not be calling her r*t*rded, but calling her worthless, useless, all those other comments when slung against disabled people are slurs and have been used to justify decades of murdering us, "euthanizing" us, and otherwise abusing us. That is the weight ableism carries -- and the weight of OP's comments. You don't get a pass to be horrid to another innocent person just because y'all share a parent who abused you.

[@patty-pat-pat]

S1: "I'm upset my gfs life is getting in the way of mine. She's supposed to tend to my needs, my future dreams, not the other way around. Ugh. How annoying! Why did she have to have a life before I came onto the scene?!"

[@HeoBaby24]

Yah how dare op expect his gf to be his partner? While she over here paying for a house she doesn't own and the mortgage is 600k

[@clashwithwords]

@@HeoBaby24is this the op

[@DaniS398]

@@HeoBaby24 read again. She does own it with her bro and they're all paying on it.

[@patty-pat-pat]

define "partner" @@HeoBaby24 and you will soon find out what a KING BABY you are. You dont want a partner, you want a cheerleader. And she does own the house.

[@maxinemyers9215]

Thanks for always having an update on the video’s Markee 💐 And OP in story 2 deserves to get away from her toxic mom!!

[@asherikamichaela8425]

Well damn, I don't think you could cut the vitriol OP has for her (comparitively older) half-sis with a chainsaw, let alone a knife. I mean, I get it in a way, she's barely a legal adult and has been parentified to hell and back because her "mother" couldn't be bothered to step up properly and take responsibility, but... why not just direct all that hate at the one who deserves it? Calling the poor kid "useless," "nothing" and so on... Just wow. Take advantage of that therapy, OP. You need it, if only to properly process all you've been through.

[@rai1578]

Yep. Like, OP's resentment is understandable, but she's developed some very ableist attitudes and is directing her anger at an innocent child. And she seems unable to understand that no, her half sister is not responsible for OP's shitty childhood. The blame belongs solely to the mother, and if OP doesn't work through those ableist attitudes (i.e. calling a disabled child USELESS), they're gonna carry that ableism into adulthood. I don't blame them for feeling the way they do, but it needs to be addressed in therapy.

[@asherikamichaela8425]

@rai1578 Exactly! I shudder to think of how this nightmare experience is going to color her views disabled people in general if it isn't addressed. Like, immediately. And honestly, it baffles me that people blame "affair babies" at all, for the "crime" of... simply existing. Like they asked for literally _any_ of that drama? No, but they're stuck in the middle regardless of what they want and need, and people on both sides rarely give a shit. It's heartbreaking, really.

[@evanglas58]

I relate so much to the first story; I had a woman who had no concept of what it costs to sustain a millionaire's lifestyle. The second story had me tied in knots wondering what was true and what was not. That was until the bit about eating leftovers covered in saliva... (A very pertinent detail which echoed someone I know who ate a horrible cold stew of whatever was left on others' plates)

[@CatLoverX74]

Story 1 gold digging creep! He makes $90k and wants a million dollar home!! He knows he can’t afford that and he expected her to pay for it! 😡 Glad she found the post 😂 Story 2 That mom is a POS I feel so sorry for OP 😢 I’m glad she’s finally 18 and left! So happy she’s with her dad now 😊

[@HeoBaby24]

What? How dare op have high expectations and want to do something with his spouse While she over here 600k in debt paying for a house she doesn't own

[@FrozenCampbellSoup]

@@HeoBaby24he literally says that if OP can’t give him his million dollar home he’ll find a woman who will (provide for him of course, he’s not trying to up his salary)

[@CatLoverX74]

@@HeoBaby24 the problem is he wants her to pay for it. He’s looking for a sugar mama.

[@HeoBaby24]

@@CatLoverX74 his never said that He said he wants to do it with her Not I want her to get it

[@SvarogAristaeusAllen]

@@HeoBaby24 Reply to the other comments proving you wrong, coward. He makes 90k a year, he'd barely be able to afford an apartment by himself. There's no way he'd ever be able to meaningfully contribute to his million dollar house, so he is fully expecting his partner to carry the majority of the cost.

[@ondank]

S2 : I just love the idea of the dad's best friend being like: " so you want me to help you support your kid whilst we wait to get them away from your evil ex by having a wacky repository of many things at my house? What's that, she will use subterfuge to get here. Say no more bro, I got this."

[@Chantal_P-v4x]

Stroy 1 - Ugh. I was honestly starting to think this may have been a troll until the GF posted her own side of this one later. Wow, she dodged a bullet with that guy. Not only is he a gold diger but he actually sounds almost... proud of it too. A million-dollar home? I don't understand why (at least in most real estate markets) a person would even want that to begin with. The taxes alone got to be insane.

[@brianaschmidt910]

Status symbol

[@HeoBaby24]

Damn imagine being upset your partner is paying 600k for a house she doesn't even own

[@DaniS398]

@@HeoBaby24 she does own it. her and her brother own it and their parents are living in it. When the parents pass and the siblings sell, it will be worth probably double what it is now and they will split it.

[@HeoBaby24]

@@DaniS398 okay that's if they'll able to continue keeping up with the mortgage

[@YellaBellaReno]

@@HeoBaby24 um… she lives there too. It’s not like she’s paying rent somewhere else, and the rent on a 1 bedroom is probably the same or more than her half of the mortgage. She also makes a good living, has savings and the money for a future down payment; a bank would gladly give this woman another mortgage. With as liquid as the housing market has become (and as competitive as the Canadian market it), she has made a good investment. Together, they could afford another 600k house, but he wants her to abandon her elderly parents both physically and financially to buy a million+ home. If he’s not a straight up gold digger asshole, then he is at least a financially illiterate dumb dumb.

[@mickmash13]

Man the second story makes me really upset for OP. I work as a caregiver for folks with disabilities, and I absolutely can't stand people who parentify their kids and force them to help their siblings at that sibling's expense. It happened to my best friend too, and while she loves her sister and mom, that dynamic just breeds resenment and can ruin the sibling relationship. OP seems like they have a good head on their shoulders and a good support network, and I wish the best for them. I also hope their sibling does okay. The situation isn't her fault, and she deserves a better parent than her and OP's shitty mom.

[@Mama_Bear_of_3]

I 100% understand why OP left on her 18th birthday, as she has an awful, and self-absorbed mother. The only things that makes me sad is that OP seems to blame her sister for ruining her life, and she appears to hate her. The mother's affair and subsequent pregnancy and divorce are not the little sisters fault. She did not ask to be born, she is a result of mother's terrible behavior. I hope she doesn't close and lock the door on her sister. I hope as OP matures and gets therapy, she will see that her sister is also a victim of the feed up mother's decisions and disgusting life choices. However, I would totally understand if she chooses not to seek a relationship with the sister in the future. Also, OP can absolutely have her stepmom adopt her. My mom has been with my Pops since I was 16 years old. He loves me as his own and has never referred to me as his stepdaughter, I am his daughter. My mom and Pops were together for 26 years and 10 years ago finally took the plunge and got married. They got married at the courthouse, and they chose that date for a special reason. After the judge married them, he then finalized the adoption paperwork, as my Pop's legally adopted me, and I was 42 at the time. So, yes OP it is never too late for your stepmom to adopt you.

[@league-of-shadows]

I hope OP 2 updates to tell us her father prevailed in court and that her mother has to payback money is outcasted. Wait, she has: She recently tried to take my dad to court for parental alienation and my dad countersued and won with all the evidence of her misuse of child support and her attempts to actually carry out parental alienation so she had to pay my dad a significant sum.

[@KaytieDeLaGarza-hk8nn]

Story 2……Of in the US, please check out your state’s adoption laws. You may be surprised to find that, Yes…..you can be adopted. It’s actually easier because you’re 18 and don’t have to have your mother’s parental rights removed. Go for it!

[@LittleImpaler]

Story 1: OP is a gold digger. The mortgage thing isn't even an issue, since she has it all under control. I lived in a mansion once. It's not a big deal. It's just a big house with a big roof.

[@HeoBaby24]

I'm sorry but how is op a gold digger? Why is she solely responsibility for paying 600k mortgage? Wtf

[@ralphvilla9616]

Lol, financial issues are the #1 cause for divorce. If you are in a relationship with serious financial stress (e.g. future children, joint payments, etc.), your relationship takes an extreme hit

[@LittleImpaler]

@@HeoBaby24 in the video OP said he wanted a million dollar manison. He wants his girlfriend to buy him that house. He doesn't want to have this debt. Because he wants to to live in a mansion. He can't afford the mansion, but the girlfriend can. The reason why the girlfriend is in debt she bought her mom and sister a house, so they could have a house.

[@HeoBaby24]

@@LittleImpaler why did she had to buy her mom and sister a house? Putting her at risk of being in debt? Op never he wanted her to buy the mansion he wanted to buy it WITH her He never said not I'm pretty sure he was making a joke but I could be wrong. But either way op Is not in the wrong for worry about the future

[@tonyblake7569]

​@@HeoBaby24yes op wants her to buy it with him, because he's a gold digger. He makes 90k a year and usually that's what people say when thats before taxes. Just looked it up, a 30 year mortgage for a million dollar house at 7.305% interest makes the monthly payment $6,859. That means they'll be paying $82,308 a year just for the mortgage. Add property tax, insurance, and other things they would have to have and it's over $100,000 every year for 30 years. Now add in other expenses and how much of that do you think op can afford? Op wants a woman to pay a most of it but buy it with him so if they split up he's on the mortgage and would legally be able to get half.

[@ISIIN15]

I was voting NAH for the first story because i thought he was concerned that the debt would also become his debt and hurt his credit when they got married. But after seeing his comments...yikes. hes just an entitled selfish greedy person. Glad the gf found out sooner than later. She dodged a bullet.

[@HeoBaby24]

How is he entitled?

[@HeoBaby24]

@@clashwithwords im confused on wanting a million dollar home make someone entitled Like unless op said he wanted her to buy alone sure yah he's a jerk but he never said that but that he wants to do it with her. Either way no op in the wrong for not worrying about a 600k mortgage she paying off

[@locstyle]

What I remember most about that summer was The Score being played everywhere. On the radio in every car club bar in a Best Buy I even heard in the waiting room for a doctors office. I love that album!

[@BlackTheBerserker]

I honestly get why it would give someone pause to see a number like that. I would hesitate as well. However, it seems like his issue isn't financial concern once her full situation was laid out, but the desire for an overpriced home. Honestly, I think the logical compromise would be a prenup so he's not liable for her debt, and for them to still get a nice home even if not huge. Though that would be if op's concern was the more logical financial concerns, and not just his absurd desire for a huge house.

[@lindah3803]

The logical compromise is the GF dumping him. He just needs to find a new sugar mama.

[@BlackTheBerserker]

@@lindah3803 That is the sad thing here. He seems to just expect to find another woman who will get him a million dollar home. Like, he just expects it and feels entitled to it. People like that are always in for a rude wakeup call when reality catches up with them.

[@CircusoftheMoon]

@@BlackTheBerserker Right? How many people do you know that could afford to carry the team on a million dollar mortgage? And how many of those people are women? Dude is delusional.

[@riverjbleu]

I understand OP in the second story is hurting but my god the poor disabled sister is not responsible. She didn’t ask for this any more than OP did

[@rai1578]

Yeah, that really bothers me. Yes, it's understandable that OP has a fair amount of resentment. But NONE OF IT is the disabled sister's fault. It's ALL the mom's fault. It's frankly disgusting that some people are even going so far as to act like caring for a disabled child is the mom's PUNISHMENT for being a bad person. Disabled children are not a punishment for the parent's moral failings, and it's incredibly fucked up and ableist to imply that.

[@kyriacarica5862]

Yes! Thank you! Someone finally said it! It’s not the half-sister’s fault her mom is garbage

[@kyla8386]

That story was pretty much my experience except my father ran away and I adopted my disabled sibling, I never in my life wished for my sibling to be hurt and even if I had left to make my own way without her I wouldn’t have been cruel and wished literal homelessness on her . Apparently it’s ok to be evil if it’s towards a disabled person

[@Violet-fj3lr]

Coming from a family where I had multiple disabled siblings, the way OP talks is painful to listen to.

[@sadtitties222]

​@@rai1578 Omg, there are people that sick saying that in the comments?! 😡 That's so disgusting and vile! I hope to the heavens above that they are not parents themselves or live near any children!

[@AngryReptileKeeper]

S1: It sounds like OP has a problem that his girlfriend's mortgage is benefiting her family instead of just him. "I've always wanted a million dollar home, and I don't see why I should have to sacrifice that." If OP was a chick, everybody would call him an entitled gold digger with unrealistic standards. Which he is. He's also selfish. One day, he's gonna look back on his decision to dump OP and sorely regret it. Unless he never gets his shit together, in which case, he's going to grow old alone and bitter with nothing but a pile of empty beer cans, a bunch of cats and his fleshlight to keep him company.

[@HeoBaby24]

That's cap because everyone is calling op a gold digger rn But either way WHY IS SHE PAYING 600K FOR A HOUSE SHE DOESN'T OWN? Taking her 21 years to finished the payment nah you got me messed up

[@DullestStar9299]

@@HeoBaby24 Because "WE" owe it to our families to pay them back for breaking their backs to support us children, you ungrateful little punk. I would go into debt for my family in a heartbeat because they've struggled to keep food on the table for me and my siblings and went broke every Christmas to supply us with gifts. Yeah, those were dollar store gifts, but they were still gifts. We were poor, like, homeless shelter poor, not able to make over a certain amount of money otherwise we would have been put out on the streets. They. Broke. Their. Backs. For. Us. And while my mother is no longer with my stepfather, I would go into debt to help him out in a heartbeat too, because I still consider him family due to the fact that he busted his freaking balls to supply for his family AS THE MAN OF THE HOUSEHOLD. I would give up both kidneys for my mom and that man, if need be, and if I had a boyfriend or a girlfriend who would complain about that... Bye. Don't let the Lord split you where my door hits you. Ungrateful brats nowadays will never understand how hard parents toil for us (the real parents, not the abusive pricks). They go without so their children lack for nothing, and yet ya'll think it's okay to toss them into an old folk's home when their bodies start breaking down, or you refuse to help them pay their bills when their suffering financially. I respect OP for respecting her parents and giving back what they've given her tenfold. That's a commendable character trait that most people lack. It's always ME ME ME ME ME with all of these ungrateful little pricks who will let their own parents toil while their making it good. Pay your freaking dues. I plan on paying my dues once I finally graduate college. I plan on buying them a home and spoiling them, even if that means I have to go without for a time. I owe them that much for their longsuffering.

[@sfsin3380]

@@HeoBaby24 She does co-own the house. She's essentially a landlord using the rent to pay the mortgage like many landlords do. Sure she and her brother are renting to family but that not uncommon either (it can create issues but it's not uncommon). As long as she can prove she has tenants in the house and makes her payments it shouldn't affect her ability to get another mortgage either because having multiple mortgages on multiple properties is how a lot of Landlords opperate,

[@HeoBaby24]

@@sfsin3380 she co owns the house yes but she still has a pay a 600k mortgage with is also in her name.

[@sfsin3380]

@@HeoBaby24 That not what your argument was you literal said "WHY IS SHE PAYING 600K FOR A HOUSE SHE DOESN'T OWN?". She does own the house. She is paying for a house she owns.

[@jakeand9020]

Story 1: I do love a happy ending. Story 2: OP is placing the blame on the sister, it was the MOTHER that ruined OP's childhood, NOT the sister.

[@DominosAndHearts]

Exactly

[@DeeL-u1c]

Markee said make money rather than happy as written in the text in the first story update. It's so funny to see where his thoughts were.

[@catsncrows]

S2 damn how strategic of op to say she needed to study to make money and I'm sad they needed to have to do that. They can use the future to sort out the feelings about the sister and are allowed currently to feel resentment. That's too much to sort out in the middle of the situation and adolescence

[@thePhoenixQueen]

OP knows a 1M dollar house isn't what it used to be these days, right?

[@jessicarichards6796]

Sounds a lot like Dr Evil. “One million dollars!” 👉🏻👄

[@llcdrdndgrbd]

I like the one where they go back in time and the 60s dudes laugh at dr Evil for demanding 10 billion dollars and they claim that amount of money isn’t a thing. I’m pretty sure it was a thing back then but it’s still very funny.

[@autumnnz1]

Story 1: wtf does OP bring to the table….

[@HeoBaby24]

What does she bring to the table? 600k in debt

[@autumnnz1]

@@HeoBaby24 she put earns him by far, has investments and a savings fund. He brings 90k psssshht

[@CircusoftheMoon]

He sure doesn’t bring million dollar home money. That’s for damn sure.

[@nightstarstar1]

Greed that’s what he brings just greed. He’s a dangerous man to be with. He’s the type to take out a large insurance policy on his wife and then off her.

[@bricksloth6920]

Welp OP, if that's a dealbreaker for you, by all means leave. I'm positive your girlfriend is better off without you

[@HeoBaby24]

Yah but that 600k debt though

[@AIBot929]

S2: She needs to go therapy as she seems to have alot of anger and resentment, more for healing, and while she says different she feels guilty, which is why she apologizes when talking about her sister, and she needs to deal with the parentification and parental abandonment by her mother. (while physically present she has been emotionally neglected) Having such anger will only fester and may cause unhealthy copeing.

[@JustAthena1]

S1 - I'm happy that reddit is flaming him. I wish I could do half the stuff she's doing, like helping my mom get a nice house. I'm proud of her and hope she leaves him Edit: Happy she left him. She'll find someone I'm sure

[@HeoBaby24]

What did op do that so bad? Who would want to stay with someone who basically in debt paying off a freaking mortgage

[@sfsin3380]

@@HeoBaby24 reverse the genders and think about what OP actually said. "My boyfriend of a year who make way more than me has a mortgage so can't spend all his money on a million dollar house for me." Dudes a gold-digger. He couldn't even come up with a non gold-digger reason this was a problem even with comments like your pointing them out. No OP's only cared about getting that overpriced house, a house he had no hope of affording himself or while with someone in the same wage bracket. Admittedly the debt is something to flag but the GF is earning enough to cover it currently and has a good enough sounding financial plan to cover it in the future while being able to afford a second mortgage.

[@Kris-wo4pj]

@@HeoBaby24 here i'll put it in words ya'd understand. hes a low class man. he makes little to no money and is trying to live off his woman. hes less than a beta male by manosphere standards cuz she has all the power in the relationship. she has all the money even with a 600k debt she is still worth more than him with her investments, income, savings and retirement. dude couldnt even afford half of her debt. the banks would laugh him out of the loan office. he wants to be a kept man but men like him wont even cook and clean like a kept woman would much less take care of any kids that come along.

[@HeoBaby24]

@@Kris-wo4pj unless I hear the gf say he was living off her then fine he's a gold digger But until that happens he's not in the wrong here. For worrying about the fact she has the pay 600k for house she doesn't even own. Tackling on debt. While yes op comes off as a jerk regardless he's has every right to worry about that aspect of their relationship especially when she lied to him about it until now. Also can we cut the whole beta male bullshit? I ain't into all that BS because it's stupid and it needs to die out like every other bs "alpha beta sigma male" trend that's been going on Yah he can't afford to pay off half her debt but why should he? The bank would laugh her ass too since she would still be in debt 10 years later.

[@HeoBaby24]

@@sfsin3380 Roles was reversed I say the same damn thing. Unless he outright demanded she pays for a million dollars home which he didn't. He has every right to be worried and upset that someone their dating is paying off a 600k mortgage on a house they don't even own Unless the ex said he was living off her which she didn't then yah he would be in the wrong But she didn't say it so how is op wrong for wanting a million dollar home? He never said he wanted her to pay for it He saying he wants to buy one with her but can't that when she has 600k debt in her name.

[@eshaytoastie9790]

Hoping that I find somebody who won't ask me to compromise my values to make him money instead of happy 😂😂

[@Avoidnow]

Story 1, wow what an awful man. So callus, selfish and self involved.

[@HeoBaby24]

How?

[@benjie128]

Im pretty sure the only thing required in adult adoptions is for the adoptee to be at least 18 years of age, and the adopter to consent/agree to the afoption. The biomom doesnt have to be dead or approve. The stepmom sounds 1000 times more supportive, and i hope OP will be able to receive that love and bond lacking from her egg donor from the stepmom.

[@muhname6052]

Story1: dude is a golddigging pyscho path

[@Myelllie]

"I always wanted a million dollar home" i doubt he has half a million to his name.

[@thehoogard]

If it wasn't for the update I would have guessed Story 1 was one of those 'posting as the other side in disguise'-posts

[@CircusoftheMoon]

S1: Good luck to him on his search for a woman willing to carry the team for that million dollar dream. That’s some needle in a haystack level criteria for a partner. Also if OP was a woman people would be falling over themselves to call her a gold digger.

[@robertx8020]

Oh the 'if the genders were reversed card' never saw that comming /s NO! The problem is not if he is or isn't a golddigger but that she didn't tell him she was over half a MILLION in DEBT ...after being in a relation for a year! If they ever got married (and depending on the law where OP lives) this will be HIS debt too! But sure, pretend that I'm saying this because OP is a man .. .

[@beatapogorzelska1241]

Yes, with his income he's looking for a sponsor.

[@robertx8020]

@@beatapogorzelska1241 So what IS his income?

[@beatapogorzelska1241]

95k@@robertx8020

[@jimbobjones9330]

Everyone is calling him a gold-digger.

[@ZombieSazza]

You’re not a “monster”, OP, you’ve a child who’s neglected by your mother, you’ve been put aside again and again, she’s not making sure your needs are met. You have very old clothing which likely don’t fit you properly, you’re emotionally neglected, you can’t even eat without being told you have to wait, you’ve had to care for yourself and been forced to act as a parent for your sister. I sympathise with this, guess who had an almost exact same childhood? Me. Guess who’s been no contact with both their mother and brother? Me. Guess who escaped with a young persons charity? Also me. I escaped just before 19, I legally changed my surname so I couldn’t be associated with my mother and brother, and I was extremely low contact for years before cutting all contact. I had to do that for my own sanity, I didn’t have a childhood, I was expected to be fully responsible for my brother from a young age like he was my own child, when he got in trouble with the school or local cops they’d phone me, a teenager, because they knew my mother wouldn’t care and wouldn’t collect him, this was happening when I was 14 (small Scottish highlands fishing town), the cops would do regular welfare checks to make sure I was doing okay to the point they’d pop in once a week to help me with housework because I was fully running the whole house. That’s not counting the favouritism for my brother, encouraging his physical violence against me, gaslighting me to hell and back, and when I did escape and move out where I got properly diagnosed with cPTSD&PTSD and nerve damage, it turned to weaponising my disabilities like I was some burden… when I was financially independent and had not lived with them for years. That hatred from my mother and brother never stopped, the abuse simply changed to purely psychological and I’d had enough, I cut all contact about 5/6 years ago. It doesn’t make up for the stolen childhood, PTSD or nerve damage (was a very violent home), but at least as an adult I can safely say that I’ve never felt such peace before. My life is no longer full of drama, my mother caused CONSTANT issues because she needed attention no matter if this was good or bad, she had several affairs ruining other families, she was constantly having fights with local women, the house growing up felt like a brothel at times, and as an adult who’s been no contact for years I cannot express just how precious that peace is to me, that stability. I’ve a good relationship with my dad, he’s actually there for me, makes sure the NHS is caring for me, asks if I need anything, accommodates me where possible, he speaks to his (step) daughter, my younger sister, about her chronic pain to see if there’s anything helpful he can tell me, he genuinely cares a LOT and let’s me know I’m loved and appreciated, and he is sorrowful about my childhood (we’ve had frank conversations about it in depth so he could better understand my PTSD, at his request) because she kept me away from his and I didn’t have the power to do anything as a child. The social media sob story part I really resonate with too, my mother pulls it every year and gets her flying monkeys to harass me, so every year I repost a LONG post I made (with receipts of screenshots and photos) showing some of the extent of the abuse, the pure vile and vitriol I’ve received from my mother, the pure hate from my brother, and that trying to contact me on their behalf to “wish me a happy birthday” because “you’re ungrateful to your mother, just forgive her” and “you’re just spiteful and hateful, that’s what she told me”, so I shut them down with my old post and ask them if she’s someone who truly actually cares, if she’s someone who’s actually remorseful for her behaviour, or is she just looking for a way to trigger my PTSD knowing my birthday is a significant trigger date due to her and my brothers behaviour on my birthday every year. It also means very few people actually believe her when she pulls her social media sob story every year, folk call her out and will post proof of her actual behaviour, and instead of responding she’ll delete the post and make a new one like “people are hateful bullies.” A good way to get ahead of the social media sob story is to make a lengthy post outlining the various ways she’s abused you, any proof you have, and ask that folk respect your privacy and not contact you on her behalf. For me this had lead to a huge circle of friends who actively protect me from any attempts my mother or brother has made. They don’t want to talk to me because they miss me or are sorry, they only want to contact me to control and abuse me. Some mothers are horrible people, they never deserved us and only abused us, so let that bridge burn and carve out a life for yourself, one with happiness, freedom, being able to actually achieve your goals, forming relationships with your dad, his family and any chosen family. Godspeed OP, I wish you all the happiness in the world!

[@projectjupiter5523]

i don't even have the words to describe how sorry i am that you spent so many years trapped with such awful people in such a dangerous environment. I am so glad that you're out of there and I hope you remain safe, surrounded by loved ones who give you all of the love and support you need, and that the utmost healing and happiness are yours forevermore ❤

[@Rhaenarys]

He keeps calling it a debt, but its not. Its a payment. One she is in all favor of paying...while not setting her back that much. This is like saying its a debt to have a netflix subcription while working middle class.

[@mirandabeaubien8447]

Girl needs to have her dad go to court. And fight it

[@maddydavidsdottir9862]

"My girlfriend is a gold digger" oh honey, the call is coming from inside the house yikes!

[@fernviking7909]

If this mom & disabled child is in Canada there are plenty of social services to help them. Has the mom even tried that? Or did she go straight to parentifying her other daughter? Sad story but happy for the girl who broke away!!

[@dianecheney4141]

How long do you think your mother will take it before she starts looking into care homes

[@laiten35]

1st story- don’t do it! I’ve known many people who end up in a very bad situation

[@lizzy9975]

Story 1.... He's the AH. Her financial arrangements are none of your business 1 year into a relationship. And secondly, if I were her, I'd have a prenutial asap with this guy. He reminds me of my mooching ex. If he wants a million dollar home, go and buy your own place.

[@juliearmfield2634]

Story 1 nah. I understand why he is a little freaked out at a $600,000 debt in her name. If they get married in a lot of places they automatically take on each other's debts you also don't know what the future is going to bring so you cannot guarantee that she'll always be making more money or even have a job to cover that 600,000. However she's not an a-hole for being there and looking out for her parents either

[@felix0-014]

This^^^

[@thomasjoseph5876]

That was some really poor planning on her part. I wouldn't marry someone with a $600k debt hanging over them who is reliant on others to pay it. Family or not, that can go south really fast and leave the woman and anyone she is legally married to, out to dry. With 8 years of equity built up, there should be other options available. Although, this story is fake as hell. It's too convenient she saw the post and gave us all the update we wanted to hear and nothing from the original OP ever again LOLOLOLOL. I have seen several stories exactly like this format and they all basically end up the same LOL. It's probably one person writing them all.

[@ndawn90]

My problem with this argument is that this $600,000 debt is a mortgage, on a house. It's not like she has $600,000 of medical debt or credit card debt or student loans. Real estate is an investment vehicle for a reason. OP never mentioned how much the property is valued at, but if they bought it 8 years ago it's almost certainly worth more money now than it was before. We purchased our house 7 years ago and paid $215,000. It was appraised at $235,000 and now it would almost certainly sell for $350,000, maybe even more. My sister bought a house like a year ago and paid nearly half a million for a house that sold for $250,000 like 5 years earlier. Framing our $215,000 mortgage as a debt would be very misleading, because all we would have to do is sell the house and we would not only break even, we would make money. If anything, it's the girlfriend who should be nervous, because they live in a community property state that house is more likely going to be considered an asset, not a debt, and she might have ended up having to buy OP out of his share.

[@felix0-014]

@@ndawn90 I'm wondering if it is community property if the debt could be moved to OP if they married. While houses are an investment where you can build equity, you can still lose the home if you can't pay your mortgage. Even then, hypothetically if they bought their own home together, paid 50/50 and she lost her job that would be a lot for one person to take on especially because he makes less.

[@theseyi]

There is so much I don’t understand here. Where in the story did OP say he wants a million dollar home? Also, even if a home is an asset, a mortgage is NOT an asset. It’s debt, pure and simple. And it’s debt for somebody else’s home. If her brother and whoever else doesn’t pay, she’s F*cked. She sounds like a responsible person and a hood catch, so I probably would trust them, but I sure as hell wouldn’t call someone an asshole for being uncomfortable about that. I wouldn’t want my financial health to now be at risk because of a huge mortgage she already has that could be fubar’d by her family members not paying their share (because it’s your gf and her brother, and now you, who will pay for it).

[@troubleinthevalley5884]

I wish all these people would shut up because now they are probably talking him into staying. He's likely realizing what he'd really be giving up. They should have just let him dump her LOL. Then at least she could find somebody more her caliber. What she sees in this boy I will never know.

[@HeoBaby24]

Probably in the next 22 years

[@knitwit9447]

While 600k of debt is absolutely something to pause at, she makes 6 figures, it's a real-estate investment, and shes incredibly ambitious. It's not necessarily wrong to want a partner you can have a home with, since most people cant afford a home on their own. It's shitty to think you *deserve* a massive fancy house on your partner's dime. While i think housing should be a right everyone has, it doesnt mean everyone having a giant ass mansion (not that a million can get you a mansion in most places lol). This guy is entitled and i doubt many smart people would bother with his ass

[@HeoBaby24]

How is he entitled?

[@embluvya]

Story 2: NTA. She chose to have an affair, chose to continue with the pregnancy that resulted from that affair, and this is the child she destroyed her marriage and family to keep: a profoundly disabled daughter who will never be able to care for herself. I hope she enjoys being burdened with the care of her disabled affair child until she dies of old age, because that quiet hell is how she will be spending the rest of her life. Don't worry, OP. She'll get her punishment for her affair. Decades of isolation with her disabled daughter, no one to help her with caretaking. No social life or family outside of caring for her daughter, every day spent with the reminder of the choice she made to ruin her life. What an unbelievably selfish woman. She also doomed her affair child to die in a care home with no family around her, because her birth was the result of an affair that alienated her from any loved ones. This disabled girl has no one except her horrible mother, and once she dies, the daughter is going to be sent to a care home where no one will visit her.

[@DullestStar9299]

Mother is extremely selfish. She is getting hers; it just sucks it's at the expense of a disabled child and an older daughter.

[@gabak1292]

Story1: Well, Iam sure OP's girlfriend is better off without OP!

[@femalepapyrus]

What messed up is that the only food she was allowed to eat had her sisters drool in it and thats disgusting, im hoping this was before the 2019 disease cause she could've gotten sick if her sister had it

[@Kattlarv]

Can say: That is where theft and neglect would have greatly benefited OP. As: Either costing more than the stolen child support, or being more hassle than it gives. Threatened to take care of the half sister? Nah, just sneak out or run away. Not offered food? Just steal money from the mom and get yourself something. Be the "problem child" at home. It's the same in golden child/scapegoat abusive homes. They'll punish you regardless. Earn it. Be more trouble to them, to than they can exploit out of you. The "don't rock the boat" or "keep your head down" CAN be needed with certain psycho families. But as been tried and tested: If you cause more hassle than you provide, they'll stop wanting to try and exploit you. It's kinda basic economics.

[@youtubewatcher245]

Story 2: This kind of thing happenes all the time with female abusers as courts refuse to believe that alot of woman are just evil...

[@josepherhardt164]

22:17 To the mom with the disabled affair baby: Hope that F was worth it!

[@kacielawrence]

It shouldn't matter that her bio mom is still alive, she should be able to get adult adopted.

[@rachaelclark8465]

Story 2) You are 18. There's such thing as adult adoption. Your mother can't stand in your way. Talk to your step mom, then a lawyer.

[@eph2vv89only1way]

Op is blaming the sister for what her mother did. The sister is not at fault in any if it. She didn't make the mother have the affair. She didn't make herself disabled. She didn't force op to be second to her. She didn't adultify op or choose where the money was spent. The sister didn't ruin op's childhood. The mother did ALL of that

[@dianecheney4141]

Your mom is going to create a shit storm when your mother figures out you are gone. Probably expect the police, she’ll probably tell the cops you’ve been kidnapped

[@patricialacey6049]

At first i was thinking OP1 was justified in being upset about finding out his partner had such a large debt, but the more he talked and explained, the more of a goldigging tool he showed himself to be yikes his gf dodged a bullet.

[@threeducks157]

I could understand if it was an upside-down mortgage, or a house she couldn't afford but neither is the case here... also what a loser wants a million dollar house yet has to make their so pay for it. Also a million dollar home is at most a 5 bedroom is most states nothing "fancy" in reality, i went all out when building mine and spent roughly 3 million and that sucker is a house and a half.

[@avalineriley6809]

Story 1, he should dump her so she can dodge that bullet and find a better man.

[@Letha-AnnCooper]

Oops!!!!! How unfortunate that your girlfriend has such an enormous debt. It’s not about helping her family. It’s about taking a loan out in their name depending on someone else to pay for the house. It’s good for her to help her parents. I just wouldn’t do it with the agreement that someone else is going to pay half. The debt isn’t the issue. It’s depending on someone’s financial abilities. OP is an AH because he wants someone else to get him a fancy house. OP’s not a match. OP’s girlfriend is a gem. I hope her family are as stand up as she is and don’t dump the whole mortgage on her.

[@favi54]

I clicked on this video expecting Mark lmao

[@gxr7777]

So if you marry her the debt will become yours to, so make and sign a prenup but get married if you really love her.

[@littlegreycat]

3:20 my husband went in on a house with his family. It has been an albatross around our necks when getting financing on our own. It really held us back but we also did not make the big bucks but i has thrown a monkey wrench into every financing that we have applied for. We have gotten the financing in the end but it did make the process take longer because we had to prove we could pay for the other house , the taxes and repairs and mortgage before they would loan us money for another house. So i can understand his concerns but he is going overboard and it sounds doable for them.

[@hannahchristine5240]

“Why shouldn’t I get my million dollar home?” and “if I leave, maybe I’ll find another woman I can achieve this with” while he’s making less than her is telling. He sounds like a gold digger. I hope his girlfriend runs far and fast.

[@hvymax]

OP needs another Sugar Momma.

[@OtakuWrath]

The issue with having so much debt is you need to live your life with less and if everyone dies you'll be left paying. Instead of living a cozy life, getting married, having kids, setting up a college fund. You have this looming debt that can eventually cause major issues down the road. It's not fun to have 600k debt, it is a HUGE amount of debt and makes it incredibly hard to live comfortably even if that debt is being paid by someone else currently, things could change overnight and whoever you are with has to adjust their life to that change. When planning the future, planning finances you need to always factor in this ridiculous sum of money. The housing market could crash and burn and selling the house would be hard at the price you'd need to sell it at. Leaving a partner for having large amounts of debt is NOT a bad thing.

[@dorianleakey]

She is succesful, making money, but the plan for the house is bonkers. It makes no sense.

[@diamcole]

S1: If you want a million dollar home, work hard to earn a salary that will allow for that. It’s as simple as that.

[@tabytha7636]

Story 1 NAH, everyone has their own autonomy and gets to decide who they date and who they don't get to date and YOU CAN KEEP DECIDING IF YOU WANT TO BE WITH SOMEONE MULTIPLE TIMES IF NEW INFORMATION IS BROUGHT UP YOU SHOULD STOP LOOK AT YOUR LIFE AND SEE IF THIS IS SOMETHING THAT YOU'RE FINE IN YOUR LIFE AS WELL. Cuz he stated that they started talking about marriage that means that her issues are going to be his issues unless they sign a prenup which was not mentioned once. I can understand someone hesitating about continuing a relationship or a possible marriage when finding out that this person has other response abilities. I will point out that how it's portrayed in the story of hey I've decided and this is my Hill to die on but I'm going to take care of my parents no matter what and they're going to come first no matter what, I would have to stop and rethink if I want to build a life with this person where me and are possible children will come second to her parents. This is something that is very reasonable to stop and think about when brought up, this is something that people should be talking about before marriage just all the time. It just should be the norm.

[@errantwinds-up8uu]

Story 2: I feel so sorry for both those girls. Yes OP said some terrible things about her sister, but why wouldn't she view her this way due to her mom's choices? All this is the mom's fault. OP deserves a life.

[@arroweyne]

I wonder if OP could emancipate from her mother.

[@OldManAndTheSeaOfTooManyCats]

Markee is all wet on this. That $600K becomes *his* debt too if they marry, and people have a very strong tendency to shirk debt if there is some sucker on the hook for it.

[@llcdrdndgrbd]

Nope, a portion of the portion of that debt might become his, and I have a feeling that would not be too difficult to address either with a prenup or a good divorce attorney. Op had a pretty well off gf and he could have been made if he wasn’t financially illiterate on top of being greedy. The issue of op owning the debt would only come into play if the people currently paying the mortgage decide to stop paying the mortgage, in which case op would potentially be liable for half of his wife’s share of the remainder of the total loan still left to pay after the house was foreclosed and sold if there was any of the loan left to pay, which given the trends of the housing market in North America but especially Canada, is unlikely to be much if any. If op and the wife are still married that’s a debt they would both be liable for jointly, and specifically in Canada it appears op might be liable for half of her half of the mortgage if they divorce- but I feel this is a very grey area because a bunch of other people live there and there is an informal agreement that only the people who live there will pay the mortgage and all the adults living there divide the mortgage. Not a lawyer but I feel op could argue this constitutes a verbal agreement for op not to be responsible or liable for any of that debt.

[@llcdrdndgrbd]

Oooooh also: from what I’m reading, it is also unlikely that op is in any way held responsible, a mortgage in a spouse’s name generally can not be the liability of the spouse who doesn’t own the mortgage, and only jointly acquired assets can be used to discharge the spouses debt if they die. It sounds like if your spouse co-owns a home with family and you have never been a resident in that home you can’t be held liable for the mortgage. If you do live there at the time of separation, you are entitled to 50% of your spouses equity in the home, and it is highly likely that you can not be held liable for a mortgage that is not in your name under Canadian contract law. Basically: I think op only stood to gain here, and he could have done some googling and had a quick chat with a lawyer to confirm that before revealing his secret plot to get his gf to help him buy a million dollar house.

[@OldManAndTheSeaOfTooManyCats]

@@llcdrdndgrbd OP is absolutely right to nope out of this situation. If he marries this woman that mortgage is on their marital balance sheet, and is a financial millstone for the BOTH of them. The guy wants to be a homeowner. If they go as a married couple to a mortgage lender that lender will consider them to already have a mortgage and not meet the requirements for another one.

[@suitov]

Sweetheart! Having a mortgage is so normal! Meanwhile, listen to your ex's delusional "I've always wanted a private island and why shouldn't I find a woman so I can have my well-deserved dream?"

[@jezebelle57]

A million dollar home? Obviously not in California, Southern or Northern. I live in L.A. and trust me, a million bucks wouldn’t even buy you a shack. A million bucks is laughable. Maybe in the Valley, and only certain parts that are not desirable, MAYBE you could find something for $790,000 to $950,000, but it wouldn’t be what I think he has in mind. For those who think I’m being snotty, I’m not. What I take from his post is he wants a grand mansion in the wealthy part of town. He wants the “glamorous life” where he can feel superior to everyone else. How’s he going to furnish that house, huh? And what car is he going to drive? And who’s going to pay the taxes on that house? Dude definitely needed a wake up call. Glad HE got dumped!

[@daveregister2346]

Story 1, Oh no problem, just marry the girl and on the day of the wedding you not only get a bride, but wait there's more, you also get 300K in debit. What a wedding gift. To those YTA folks out there, you are dead wrong. You are making an emotional decision (got to help the family) about a very negative financial situation that required analytical thinking. This economy is going to crash in approx. 5 to 8 years. Who want to find themselves nearly 300K in debt and no job. Duh!!!!

[@mysterylovescompany2657]

OP #1 has made it unmistakably clear he didn't come to tbe subreddit for actual answers. I wish ppl who are only after affirmation would go to r/OffMyChest or something, & not clog up AITA with their self-centred prattle.

[@dianecheney4141]

I’m wondering if OP was planning on quitting his job since girlfriends makes more than enough

[@tonyblake7569]

Last story, op will never see this and not sure how all it works but she should look into adult adoption. 1 it shouldn't matter her mom is still alive, plenty of mothers put their kid up for adoption so there's no law requiring her to be dead. 2 I remember another story where ops mom died, step mom adopted op against her will, dad claimed he was sick and it was in case the worst happened. Op had bio moms parents do an adult adoption when she turned 18 so it's possible here step mom could adopt op even if bio mom doesn't want it. And 3 op says it doesn't matter to her since she's an adult, it should. If something were to happen to op bio mom is legally her mom and if op was in the hospital she could use she's family and step mom isn't to keep her from seeing op. Chances are that won't happen but point is she could use "mom" status for things and the court side with her like they did before.

[@Rhaenarys]

That second story is really sad and only ah is the mom, 200%, which i meant to type 100, but mistyped the 2 and feel it works better, so yea...

[@zachf748]

This is the type of story that I always doubt is real. This dudes not looking for advice, and he just keeps spamming _“but I want a million dollar home”,_ in every single comment. It’s like the troll that’s just purposely trying to piss off Reddit.

[@colleens1107]

How awful for OP in the second story, MOMMY DEAREST only wanted OP around in order to steal the child support for her Affair baby (oh that poor little girl, my heart breaks for her but I get OPs feelings) and so she can be a second caretaker. What a horrible human being. I’m so glad OP got out of there and I hope CPS takes that kid away. Also, FUCK THE MOMS FAMILY for abandoning OP. All they did was hurt that kid because as a result her mom stole the child support to give to AB

[@lina9535]

Story 1: Also, let's do some quick math. I may not be good at math, but this seems pretty simple to me. So the mortage is 600k, gf ears a 6 figure salary, for this let's assume that it's 100k. She pays 1/4 of her salary towards the mortage, so 25k. I don't know if her salary is per month or per year though. 600/25 = 24. Since the gf sounds smart, I'm leaning more towards her income being monthly, as the mortage has 21 years on it. And we don't have the other numbers from her family. Plus we can also guess that her income will increase as that's her goal. And again, putting her salary for this assumed example at 100k might even be on the low end. So it might not even take her and her family more than 10 years to pay it off. So I really don't see the issue OP has here.

[@Melanie-jy2nw]

Story 1 dude… I ain’t saying he’s a gold digger 😏

[@scottholdcomb1500]

Good day or night everyone

[@helolady922]

Story 1: Will her family afford the mortgage without her if she ever decided to move out. Can she move out and just support herself or is she stuck there because of the financial responsibility?

[@radish6740]

Because you can’t afford it, OP……. 🤣