I’m in burnout and it sucks | real life autistic exasperation

I've been going in and out of burnout and it's so frustrating. I keep allllmost getting out of it and trying to do normal human things only to realize that doing so pushes me back down into burnout land. So. I decided to make a video about it because I haven't been able to make a video about anything else.
I didn't intend this video to be one that promotes my new weighted pillow, but it kinda worked out. So, if you want to check it out, here's my affiliate link: www.onequietmind.com/?ref=tay... It's truly awesome and I take it all over the house with me all day long. It's great to use as a lap pillow while I'm working and running meetings. A portion of the pillow proceeds will come back to the channel. Thanks for your support!
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DISCLAIMER: Taylor Heaton is not a licensed psychologist or specialist healthcare professional. Her services do not replace the care of psychologists or other healthcare professionals. Please note that Taylor can’t take any responsibility for the results of your actions, nor any harm or damage you suffer as a result of the use, or non-use of the information available through her website, KZbin Channel, or social media accounts. Please use judgment and conduct due diligence before taking any action or implementing any plan or practice suggested or recommended by Taylor Heaton or Mom on the Spectrum. Please note that Taylor doesn't make any guarantees about the results of the information you may apply from her website, KZbin channel, and/or social media accounts. Taylor shares educational and informational resources that are intended to help you succeed in navigating life as an autistic adult. You nevertheless need to know that your outcome will be the result of your own efforts, your particular situation, and innumerable other circumstances beyond Taylor's knowledge and control. Taylor is an Amazon affiliate and may receive commissions on qualifying purchases from affiliate links. Taylor is a Flare affiliate and may receive commissions on qualifying purchases from Flare links.
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[@jilleinhorn3466]

Hi Taylor! I think you were referring to something I said, so I am trying to remember it for you. I think it was: “I used to get mad at myself because I couldn’t function the way that neurotypical people do. But I don’t do that anymore, because I’m NOT neurotypical.” I am sending good vibes your way and hope that you can get some useful rest soon. Thanks for sharing content like this, so we can all feel less alone.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

YES! It was you 🙃🙃🙃 thank you Jill!! I loved what you said and I appreciate you leaving it here so others can see it too :)

[@samrobbins4520]

I'm in PT school right now, and I'm experiencing a ridiculous (re: average) amount of ableism in my program right now. It's hard trying to do work and prepare for exams when the structure of school just isn't built for me. It's hard.

[@florite007]

Taylor and all please learn clinical eft Techniques and practice them. Also, if you keep non vegan that will negatively affect you as eating cruelty and suffering will affect how we feel even when we are not thinking it does. Dr Robert Morse tv explains a lot of stuff well on that and there is a free course available to all and no spamming on @1ReikiFloW channel and eftuniverse has free resources too but they will market so just unsubscribe if you need. Eft not only regulates our brain and feelings and outcome it also works within 5 min and it’s free as everyone of us has meridians in the body and that’s il what we use. The tapping itself while being stressed 😩 a what creates the outcome and it works faster than anything I have tried in my only 44 years of being exposed to all healing stuff and we went through real pedo abuse and much more so most of you don’t have that on top and hence it will be even faster probably. Stop wasting time with conventional stuff that doesn’t work!

[@emilycampbell5798]

I feel the same right now. I’m a wreck!! But exams are coming

[@audreyjordan4444]

Literally laying in bed is taxing, because I feel so uncomfortable and can feel every bone in my body. I know what depression feels like and can genuinely say I’m not depressed, but definitely relate to burn out!

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Yes sometimes it is so hard for me to lay still in bed too. Honestly the weighted pillow is helping with that a lot.

[@thiccletics]

From one mom to another- I see you. It’s ok. Take your weekends or whenever you have “days off” and give the kids the Netflix, the tablets and plop yourself on the sofa as much as possible….. get a hammock and set it up inside!! Trust me ❤

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Ooooh I do love hammocks. Thank you for the support and the recommendation!

[@mikicionekk3554]

​@@MomontheSpectrum😘😘😘

[@Elizabethpepper8]

When you're in long term chronic burn out and this is all you can do being an unsupported, isolated single mom the guilt and anxiety and hatred from this has severely worsened my mental health which had prolonged burn out, i believe.

[@Kawooya]

I can't say enough how much I relate to all of this. Keep pushing myself back into burnout, can't eat, can't sleep, all sensory information overwhelming. You're not alone 😩

[@LightsandVessels]

Yes! I feel like I'd need years to recover, having pushed myself so hard for years in an attempt to be NT

[@tomsale5142]

​@@LightsandVesselsdo you have chronic muscle pain with it and are you hypermobile you see ime diagnosed now autism ADHD heds fybromyalgia cfs symptoms years is it autism burnout ling term

[@dimpsthealien333]

I live in burnout. I have my terminal mom to care for, her home, my husband and our home and family, and my chronic pain, depression, anxiety are horrible. So I understand. It's hell. I think it's beyond burnout. Is there a word for this? I wish I could do nothing, but if I stop going, everything will go to sh*t.

[@TheCloverAffiliate12]

Hi! Haven't come across a word for that, but may you get the support you need! I know it's difficult to find the energy to look for help and support (much less fathom its existence) when you're in the trenches, but I believe it's out there. Take care in the meantime. Signed, another person who is trying to listen to other people say the same thing.

[@lorrigoddardguilbeault]

It does feel like hell. Similar with caregiving for mother and brother now that my older sisters died. Hugs and I hope you set aside one thing of self care for you a day even if it’s just sitting with a timer and closing your eyes. 🤍🙏🏼🕊️you’re not alone. Lots of love.

[@vivianstewart7523]

I think we should come up with a word for it.

[@galporgy]

The word is hypercapitalism.

[@donagaleta]

A big big big hug from Barcelona, I know how you feel ❤️❤️❤️

[@gardengirl4718]

I'm 64 years old, diagnosed 1 month before I turned 60, and the best thing the diagnosis did for me was that I was then able to give myself permission to HAVE autism. I don't even like that term. I prefer to think of it as simply being on the spectrum, not someone who 'has' something. I'm just different from the majority of society. That said, when my body reaches burnout the very best thing I can do is to just accept that it is a part of my life and if I don't listen to it things will only get worse. I TOTALLY get the skin hurting thing. I'm sensitive to smells too and they are way worse when I'm burned out. So give yourself permission. Your body is just the way it is supposed to be so do the things YOU need to do to overcome the burnout no matter how long it takes. And remember that we all out here love you too and are cheering you on. 🥰🥰🥰

[@catherinegrace7999]

@gardengirl4718 Could u please share what type of test they used for you? And what type of doctor? Also 60 & known for yrs I'm on spectrum but hard to find test covered by insurance. (My online test from UK was 42 out of 50 but I'm on Kentucky )

[@gardengirl4718]

@@catherinegrace7999 I went to a psychologist who had experience diagnosing autism. The tests she administered (I believe there were 2 of them) were a series of statements and I would answer on a spectrum from I don't at all agree to I strongly agree as to how true they were about myself. She also had my husband fill out one of the tests as he felt they applied to me. I also remember there being a series of pictures she showed me and I had to make a statement about how I felt the people in the pictures were relating to each other. I don't remember what any of the tests were called - what their formal titles were. Have you looked online to see if there are any autism support groups in your area? That was how I got the name of the doctor I saw. Best of luck to you in finding the right kind of doctor and getting the answers you're looking for!

[@jourdaenwilson5443]

Thank you for sharing your perspective and advice!

[@ashanashra]

Tip : Dark Showers. Exactly what it sounds like, a shower in the dark. Use a tea light or night light if its to dark. Long and hot. I've even gone in there with ear plugs and if I am to tired I literally just sit down in there.

[@tattooedmomma]

You have no idea how much your video resonated with me. My skin burns all the time, sometimes worse than others. Today i haven't wanted to see anyone or even say any words. I've been living in my big headphones all day. I've had palpitations a few years now, and no heart issues. I was recently diagnosed so I'm still coming to grips with all this and learning all i can. Thank you for showing me I'm not alone.

[@Chick4Biden2024]

My skin burns too omg! 😮

[@tattooedmomma]

@@Chick4Biden2024 I'm very sorry you're dealing with it too. It's miserable.

[@Chick4Biden2024]

@tattooedmomma I deal with it time to time but didn't know it could be autism? Thank you for saying that because it all makes sense now . I'm sad you deal with it too. Big hug 🫂

[@cammie49]

My daughter has “stabby pains” all over her body for her why life. She thought everyone did. I think it like the burning skin thing maybe 🤔

[@lorifarmer9692]

Vasovagal syncope has got my burnout autism losing the shit

[@hanaholmgren]

I’ve been in the middle of a diagnosis journey, but I’m 99% sure I’m on the spectrum and it’s very likely that I also have ADHD, and hearing about your experience is incredibly validating for me. The burnout hit HARD today, and it’s incredible to have words to describe what I’m feeling instead of just “I’m exhausted and over sensitive and I don’t know why.” When I hit that point, like you, I’m exhausted but I can’t seem to sleep, and while I know I need rest it’s impossible to do anything without feeling worse. I graduated with my masters degree back in May, and I have felt the crash looming for a while, now that my routine has been thrown completely off and I’m supposed to be starting a new job that I want to be excited for but can only seem to feel anxious about. Thank you for sharing your experiences. It really, really helps.

[@manifest2963]

It’s really hard with my directors telling me to push through. My bf said to ignore that and take care of myself. Them being uncomfortable with my taking care of myself is only about them. It’s a hard lesson.

[@DaveShap]

For me, one of the (several) major breakthroughs I had in recovering from burnout was directly confronting perfectionism. I was extremely lazy as a teenager but then I got into the workforce and realized that a lot of my deficits in school were super powers in the corporate world. And then a series of other events basically made me become a workaholic and perfectionist, and that was one of the biggest contributors to my burnout. A key thing I learned about perfectionism is that it can be internally focused (e.g. I have to do things exactly right and be the best, etc) and it can be externally focused (e.g. my surroundings have to be perfectly right, or people have to be correct, etc). And so anyways, my point is that unpacking both of these dispositions of perfectionism has helped immensely. Hope it helps you.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

I deal with a lot of internal perfectionism. Thanks for putting this into words.

[@Life_with_Lissett]

Very relatable for me today. Need to JUST REST. Sending Light and progress ❤

[@DanKoenigJr]

Hi Taylor. I just today received my diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder today. Everything you are describing makes total sense! For the life of me I couldn’t figure it all out. I actually put myself into the psych unit in the hospital for three days. But every single thing that you mentioned was exactly what I was feeling. I’m so thankful that I found your channel. I feel like im no longer alone in my brain.

[@vivianstewart7523]

Congrats on the diagnosis!

[@sonoftorin]

@@vivianstewart7523 It sounds like such a weird thing to say but congratulations is really the sentiment I’m feeling too. It’s so hard to even find someone to take you seriously then to find someone who is current on their autism knowledge, then to get through the waitlist and everything else-yeah. Congrats! Being part of a community and making sense of your life is huge! I hope to achieve the same one day.

[@zeeenno]

Wishing you the best and rest ❤ I’ve noticed quite a few autistic youtubers are in burnout right now. I encourage all of them to be open about it and REST. Take your own advice you graciously give all of us! 🛌

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Thank you for the reminder 💓

[@kj3d812]

Taylor, I know exactly what you mean when you say it's like your "skin is so sensitive it can hear." I have that, too, when I'm overwhelmed! It's like the air hurts against my skin, and sounds are like knife blades scraping across it. For me it's an almost sunburn feeling, as if the air and the sounds have been so abrasive they've "burned" my skin. Everything you talk about, I totally understand. I go through those things and think, what the eff is the matter with me?! But then I remind myself that I'm autistic, and I give myself some slack, even while I feel guilty and often angry at myself for having all these "issues." (autism, I remind myself again) The sleep thing -- yep. Spent many years practically falling asleep during the day, struggling to stay awake at work, etc., then go to bed and can't fall asleep for hours and often wake during the night. The burnout you describe is something I'm all too familiar with, so you're definitely not alone. I'm sure there'll be many comments here agreeing. Just know that we're here for you, even if we're not speaking with you directly; we're here in community, understanding because those of us who are autistic know fully what it's like. Take the best care of yourself that you can, even when that seems hard or maybe even impossible. It'll get better eventually (remember that when it seems out of reach), and you'll be back strong and smiling again. Much love and autistic hugs! ❤

[@heatherinde]

I forgot to put my tip: vagus nerve stimulation, primitive reflexes integration, as well as avoiding my allergens!

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Thank you!

[@cowsonzambonis6]

Noooo I’m so sorry!!! I’m finally getting out of a massive burnout, and everything you describe…so awful! 😭 I hope you can get regulated again soon ❤❤❤

[@ashanashra]

I describe it as "So uncomfortable its painful"

[@jasonthomas208]

What you're describing is how I've felt for close to 3 years now. In 2020 during Covid my Mother passed away, I had to nurse her almost entirely alone and it totally wiped me out. I cared for her for 20 years, it meant I was able to stay out of society and keep to myself, it was heaven for me, but the moment she passed and I had to face the world everything has come crashing down. I feel totally numb and void of emotion and don't know how to get through this. I have an autism assessment Monday, I'm hoping they can help! Sorry to make this all about myself, I hope you feel better soon, it's not easy living this way, best wishes. :)

[@Chick4Biden2024]

Don't apologize for "making it about yourself ". I notice I do that too but I think it's common for autistic people to share from their perspective predominantly because that's how we operate and I think to NT we come off as self centered when all we want to do is share and connect with others through our experiences...I hope I didn't come off as too direct. I do this too 💗🫂

[@consuelonavarrohidalgo5334]

If you get the oficial diagnosis it would be great to get in contactt with a good psychologist too.

[@widowswail888]

Your story is the exact same with my current situation. I spent all my life working an informal job so I could have time caring for my mom - she had cancer and passed away in 2021. I am now faced with reality and now I feel like I’m restarting life. I had my first ever job interview last week and that alone took a whole lot from me. I felt a burnout incoming already so that’s why today I’m taking time to not think about job hunt at all and just rest. As you know, transitions are hard so I don’t want to discourage myself from growth. I feel much better already doing things I need to do instead of going back to my “neurotypical/masking” way of thinking and doing. I’m also seeking an assessment. Thank you for sharing your story, so sorry for your loss and best of luck to you❤

[@jasonthomas208]

Confirmed, I had a positive diagnosis. I'm in the autism family

[@neridafarrer4633]

Also in burnout. Sigh. ADHD side is ridiculously restless and too wired-tired to focus on anything really. Autistic side is head-feels-swollen, front brain side of head is tight and sore and brain fog is so uncomfortable! Most clothes that I own are not comfortable enough and I went for a walk today and I had to take the shoes and socks off at a certain point because uuugh. Im under a way to light blanket, right now and it feels horribly light and annoying so I'm stimming with my feel wiggling and pressing against each other. Two of my younger sons (my two youngest sons who are 25 and nearly 18) both share this phenotype,. They both helped me today. And I gave my oldest son some sound relationship advice ... I'm struggling to get out of the house, Agorophobic, a lit of the time, these days (I am also diagnosed with cptsd) and I battling freeze mode and exhaustion, a lot these days. My 25 year old came over and we went for a walk. 17 year old son was also sweet and helpful. So not a bad day. I drew a picture. I am struggling with having to push myself just to reach out to my children and lately I've surrended to just not pressuring myself and they have come to me. But some days I'm like, I can't wait til my kids are all more sorted and busy so I can relax and not push myself to parent, but, today, it all flowed naturally and they gave me some energy, which is awesome! I have 7 children.

[@Purplegoddess777]

Too relatable. Getting the sleep under control is what helped me. I would be awake days at a time. It took months, even with medication, to get enough sleep. I felt like everything started falling into place once I was getting enough restful sleep. Use whatever works for you.

[@jter2839]

For sleep, I take gabapentin in tablet form. I used to wake up so much at night and my galaxy watch even said I never went into deep sleep. Gabapentin makes me sleep so well and deeply it feels like the longest sleep.

[@nryane]

Before I was diagnosed at 80, what you describe is what I believed was grief. I’ve had a lot of that in the past 10 years. Even today, in therapy, naming the feeling about what is going on in my life, recently, was challenging. There was shame, but not-shame. More like anxiety, mixed with shame. Feeling my mortality and recognizing that I’ve lost a lot of my joy, because I’ve worried about not doing enough, being enough, doing things “right”, about what others think of me, etc. So, watching you struggle to tell us what’s going on for you, so we can have a sense of connection with you, with the world, I feel empathy for anyone (YOU) going through burnout. Thank you for letting us know that you are taking care of yourself the best you can. Water is an issue for me, as well. Luckily, I’ve developed eating schedules that work for me, even when I’m not 100%. Wishing you wellbeing. ❤

[@johnzimpelman9018]

I was taking care of my 90 year old neighbor, she suffers from Alzheimers and Dementia and this went on for over a year. The last four months which ended in July I took care of her everyday despite her verbal assault with suspicion and paranoia and she was argumentative as well. She finally ended up in a wonderful Alzheimers care facility, and I then started feeling unusual. My therapist explained that I too have been battling such an extreme case of burnout. This is the worse that I have experienced and just when I feel like I have reset myself something goes awry and I am back to my burnout. I know it is the worse one as I usually go hiking, I live near a wonderful park with miles of wilderness trail and this is the first year in five years that I deprived myself of this personal pleasure. Right now I am trying to deal with my chronic insomnia. Just taking it day to day now.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Sending lots of love and healing energy your way. You’re not alone!

[@johnzimpelman9018]

Thank you Taylor, it's an honor to be part of this uniquely special community. I hope you are finding ways to get back to where you were. ❤️

[@jason-the-fencer]

I feel this so hard. I thought I was managing this current phase of burnout *so well* that I started adding things back into my life and WHOOPS...back in worse burnout.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Yessss. This is what I was trying to communicate too.

[@vivianstewart7523]

Yup. Me too.

[@sounddilemma6474]

Take care! I’m also having a burnt out right now after almost a month of >12hr workdays with at most one day off per week… I can’t do anything since this Monday so I cut myself slack and reduced my daily responsibilities to bare minimum… I think I can finally see light at the end of the tunnel. Hope we all get better soon!!!

[@buttercxpdraws8101]

You really do seem to have way more energy and focus than most of us on the spectrum, honestly I’d be happy if I could be half as productive as you are. Also very impressive product placement, burnout or not, gotta earn those dollar dollar bills lol. Hope you feel better soon ✌️💕🌻

[@tomsale5142]

I've never had any energy from birth from birth I slept 23 hrs a day

[@J_in_the_Tardis]

Thank you, Taylor - for everything, but especially this.

[@sueg2658]

I feel your pain. I would love to lay in one of those chambers filled with warm salt water. Just floating ,no sound, no nothing and everyone leave me alone. I also just watched your video on stimming. And you talked about energy getting stagnant and stuck. And stimming helps that with moving the energy. I feel like this and the stimming video are very important videos. Sending you best wishes that you feel better. Thank you for sharing the raw truth.

[@catherinegrace7999]

Saltwater chamber 👍 Would be heaven since I'm stuck for now in apt where I literally can hear the neighbors walking😖

[@hollieverafter]

Awww! Sorry you're feeling like this, Tay. Sending virtual hugs for a quick restoration of balance.

[@mausandthimble]

I can absolutely relate to that sensation that everything hurts your skin! Whenever I'm in a state of burnout/overwhelm/depression it feels like my skin has been peeled off or my nerve endings are exposed and every stimulus, both external/physical and internal/emotional, is like dirt touching my exposed flesh or a thousand needles pricking me all over...

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Yesss. 💯

[@josephmartin1540]

I can’t get half of a line of an ancient poem out of my head as you speak (so proud that you could DO the video right now), “ Blessed are those who go THROUGH The Valley of Baca (which means weeping, or being unable to weep as the case might just be)… the point is that in the darkest valley when we can’t see anything else, it is through. Not felt it at all many times, but it always ends with it ending and getting out. Fought ALL the things you mentioned and those you didn’t and kept trying to push through for a few years. Then I crashed and burned out. Spent the last two years beginning to recover. It felt like they would find my body curled up in my closet (next to my grey no color wall, non sensory wall) and I’d never live to get outside again. But, I’m through far enough to be much out of the place where I had to cocoon… Didn’t hope to talk about me, just to say “through, thankful, through.”

[@Wonderish]

I’m sorry you’re going through this and I hope you get relief soon ❤❤

[@jasonelia3268]

Virtual reality changed my life for the better...

[@wolfdreams2000]

I usually visit super gorgeous Northern Lights and incredible waterfalls with mine when I need down time.

[@stupidsminkle]

As someone who has been procrastinating on pretty important tasks for over 4 years now...I feel ya 😅

[@catherinegrace7999]

Oh wow ! That's me ...with the guilt. Just learning at 60 that it's not all in my head. As many (mostly family) have said

[@dawnhughes9942]

As a divorced autistic mother with zero family support I can look back and say I spent 18 years in burnout. I was completely unable to work by the time he was in high school. Being a divorced autistic mother is a hopeless place. I thought I would be able to find a new partner and it was a temporary state but turns out I couldn't and it wasn't. I'm sorry for where you are. Dont expect to get much help. I'm about 10 years away from a high functioning expected life span. I pray every day to be worthy of going to heaven soon. I am not cut out for this world. I can't make it alone as a mother like we are expected to do.

[@christinabyers3615]

I'm praying for you. I understand what you're feeling. ❤

[@MomontheSpectrum]

I’m so sorry to hear about what you are going through. You are not alone. I am sending you lots of love and peace, and trusting there is a better future in store for you!

[@tomsale5142]

My mum I've lost at 72 to severe ms obvously now I no from stress and heds to but my grandfather made 85 with a simplistic lifestyle I have fybromyalgia heds or us it burnout we all need peace being autistic

[@pipwhitefeather5768]

I was a single mum and for me to deal with that - I didn't get involved in any PTA stuff. I did as little as possible. I don't feel bad either because I didn't have anything left to offer. I suggest you don't try to be super involved in the school stuff, there'll be other mums with more energy. xx

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Thanks for the tip. I don’t do near as much as my mother did at my school, and that has been hard for me. But I’m finding my way. I feel like I’ve set some pretty good boundaries so far but I’m still figuring it out.

[@kalieris]

This. The school didn’t need me to participate in anything as much as my kid and I needed me to be functional. After my divorce, I pretty much stopped doing anything that wasn’t actually essential for daily survival . Holiday cards were probably the weirdest thing I felt like a failure for stopping, not because I like them but because I had made them into some kind of benchmark of competence. I think it’s also very hard, if you grew up thinking you were neurotypical, to let go of the striving to meet unrealistic surface expectations, especially around parenthood, work, and other forms of adulting. Divorce all by itself is also classified as a major life stressor, for a reason. Doesn’t matter who initiated it or how amicable it may be. It’s just very hard in a lot of small, unexpected ways. And for a much longer time than I expected. For me at least, I felt like I had to keep all the plates spinning even more just to give the appearance of being not just ok but thriving. I was neither at the time, but put a lot of pressure on myself to do the little surface things that would give that impression. It felt self-protective at the time, but it actually was just exhausting and unnecessary.

[@robertnewberry7799]

I know EXACTLY what you need. Get up, go to a local video store, and randomly buy an entire series, if a TV show, and binge watch the whole thing, from beginning to end, without sleeping. And, of course, ice cream. And maybe, popcorn. Then, you will feel better.

[@andreamckerlieluke911]

Virtual non-tactile hugs to all of you that are in burnout! ❤️ I have been in and out of it for years and am finally on the other side. It's really meaningful to share this experience, so thank you for being so vulnerable and bringing awareness to the state of autistic burnout.

[@badraster7909]

This actually did really help me today, thank you Taylor. I am fighting off burnout after traveling and expecting that I could jump back into college and work and be fine -_- The nonstop world around us kind of sucks. I admire you a lot, so hearing this does help reinforce that it’s not my personal failing for getting burned out. I hope you do get some quality rest and feel better soon ❤

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Thanks so much. You’re definitely not alone!

[@briana8058]

Right there with ya sister! I wish I had some helpful tips to give, but alas, I am under my weighted blanket looking for advice myself. Take good care Taylor. 🙏Thank your for your vulnerability and for everything you do for us neurodivergent folks.💜

[@eyalguz6303]

I am on the butt end of a burn out and I know exactly how you feel right now....the sleep, food, sensory issues...all too familiar. I am sorry you feel that way.

[@H.Michele]

I am so right there with you. Like, 💯 of this. 😞 I didn’t realize you’re a single mom, too. This did help me to feel less alone. Thank you for sharing. I full-time single parent 4 high-needs kids. There’s no time for my needs. I’m struggling on every level. I haven’t had a single day off since May. I barely sleep, my brain is always on high alert and I have too much to do to settle down and relax. I have no friends or family (because I don’t know how to socialize, don’t feel like I fit in anywhere, and don’t have the time or energy). I searched for years to find other autistic mom’s and I’m so grateful for you and your channel. You’re the only resource I’ve found.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

So sorry to hear you feel so weighed down right now. 💞 single mom life is full of non-stop challenges

[@JoeJoeTater]

Clicking the bell thing so I get notifications when you're back... (I'm assuming you're going to take a break or at least throttle-down.) I had a really long and overdue burnout recently, and your videos really helped me. I'm sure you'll be at least as compassionate with yourself as you helped me learn to be with myself.

[@221522]

I've been feeling very similar lately myself. I don't have an official autism diagnosis, but I have suspected I am autistic for quite sometime now. throughout my entire life I have gone through periodic bouts of what I now think is autistic burnout. I have been told often throughout my life that I "seem depressed" but that is rarely how it feels for me. I don't tend to feel worthless or hopeless, I just feel frustrated that I'm not able to exist as a functioning adult as consistently as other people seem to. I'm single and a self employed gardener, my life is so simple compared to yours, and I relate so strongly to what you said about struggling to keep all the plates spinning. I couldn't imagine having all the extra responsibilities you mentioned. I also really relate to what you said about struggling to eat. I also have chronic digestive condition, IBS is the diagnosis I've been given, but that really feels more of a description of my symptoms than a diagnosis. When I'm in burnout my digestive symptoms tend to really flare up to. There then tends to be a feedback loop between the digestive stuff and the burnout stuff which makes it so difficult to eat properly. I seem to be coming out of my latest bout of burnout now, and what seemed to help was first giving myself permission to rest and withdraw. Once I started to feel able to do more than sit in the dark in my room, I did small things to improve my immediate environment, like clean my room (I used goblin tools as mentioned in a pervious video of yours, very awesome). Then I indulged in something I'm particularly passionate about, specifically writing, and researching social justice issues. I actually used goblin tools for this too. I set tasks of "overthrowing the patriarchy" (good news, estimates suggest this should only take about ten years, I mean I wish it wouldn't take that long, but all things considered ten years isn't bad). I also set the task of "bringing about a communist utopia" (less good news on that front, dissolving the concept of private property alone is estimated to take ten-thousand years, so a bit of a longer term project there). I've actually ended up writing and researching other social issues not directly related to those prompts, but goblin tools certain got the ball rolling. This has been a slow unfolding process over a couple of weeks because, much as you described, I kept pushing myself too hard too quick and ended back at sitting in dark room mode. go slow. give yourself permission to rest and reset. when you feel able take small steps to care for yourself and/or your space, and then finally reenergize by indulging your passions (special interests).

[@vivianstewart7523]

I agree. It's not depression. I'm not sad, I just can't function properly.

[@BuckEboo]

Been there. Sorry. It sucks. It helps me to remind myself that measurement of self worth is not in productivity. Then I put my weighted blanket on me. My weighted sleep mask. Turn the AC down to 68. NC headphones and space music. Usually that’s enough to fight past the anxiety and I fall asleep. Best of luck. You’re doing what you need to do.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Thank you 🙏🏼💕

[@majickalstar]

Sending love your way Taylor xxx I've spent several days under my weighted blanket, so tired but struggling to get a proper sleep too. I hear ya girl and know you're not alone ❤❤

[@person3952]

This was helpful to me. I'm selfdiagnosed and at times think maybe I'm not as I never have meltdowns .Whatever things are named don't speak to me but what you are describing here I have quite often. Sleeping, if possible, has been the absolute best help. Surprises me every time how much better I feel after a nap.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Yesss. A good sleep is worth so much.

[@jasonelia3268]

Your a rockstar you have helped me out sooooo much...

[@dinabertrand9113]

Thank you so much for this video! I understand exactly what you mean when you say sound hurts your skin. I am 52 years old and I have been trying to explain these feelings for years to people that just don't get it. Take care of yourself! ❤

[@j-rocgeo7499]

I have heart palpitations every day, they increase when I'm dysregulated for sure. Rest lady, I sent this to my wife so she can see more of what I go through. Thank you for this, I'm newly diagnosed and we are still learning what this means for us.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Thanks for your comment and support

[@ButterfliesQLD]

Thanks Taylor I'm going thru this exact thing atm 9months of it. I'm over it. My counsellor said rest it's ok take as long as you need. 🧡🦋🧡🦋

[@theflyingcat7707]

Yep yep yep. Energy is sooo low rn over here too and so frustrating there’s too much to do to stop and rest 🙃 but GOOD ON YOU for stopping and resting so you don’t get sick. You’ve really been a beacon for me on this ASD journey, I hope nothing but chill, easeful, and joyous times for you. 💗 also yes I do have heart palps and they have been kicking up the last few weeks after months of none), and poor sleep, waking up when should be sleeping, prob perimenopause to blame as well as all the other things) which yeah.. heart palps supposedly are nbd but anxiety producing none the less. I found a video where you put your hands together, stick thumbs in mouth and blow and it’s supposed to stimulate the vagus nerve and help the heart re-regulate. I did do it and haven’t had more since so maybe it did help idk. Peace to you, I hope you get the deep rest and re-set you need.

[@smashedapples]

"... the silence in my house is hurting me" and "my skin in so sensitive that it can hear" are things I understand. The words are hard, but the sensation is real, and it's really helpful to hear other people talk about it.

[@wolfdreams2000]

Taylor, sending you tons of love and healing energy from VT. Take care of you. 💜

[@offthebrand]

When I've had issues with sleep and feeling my skin too much I sleep in the clothes I wore that day. It feels like a nap somehow.

[@DavidMcCurley]

Thanks for sharing your experience! Take the time you need to recover. Grateful for your videos.

[@Zidrazia]

i also wanted to say thank you for posting this, not only is it extremely relatable, but it's one of the only videos i've been actually able to watch. most people talking on yt is hurting my brain right now, but your voice is so calm and in sync with how i'm feeling, i was actually able to watch the whole video

[@MomontheSpectrum]

You're so welcome! and thank you very much for the feedback and your comment

[@mikaelangeloh2316]

@@MomontheSpectrum This is your best video. I know exactly how you feel. Hang in there!

[@Maggies87]

Yep. Rest, rest, rest.

[@SweetStuffOnMonarchLane]

I feel you, I'm burned out too and have needed a SIGNIFICANT time away from work for a long time now. You sound like you've had a lot on your plate lately and need a reset, so don't feel guilty; take care of you. I'm proud of you for being able to do all of that! I think you're stronger than you know. Shut out the world and let your scrambled nerves untangle. It's terrible when you are tired and can't sleep. There's too much to do these days. I just want to be bored and have nothing to do and nothing to think about. I haven't been bored in YEARS. 'Better days ahead' as my gram used to say. I hope that for us both and anyone else struggling. 🙏

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Thank you so much 💕💕💕

[@aurafique6662]

Extremely relatable. I feel like I’ve been going through this for months without being able to get out of it and stay out. Sending all the love, hope you can recover quickly 🫶🏻

[@JustMe_OhWell]

OMG I know exactly what you mean. I can feel sounds in my entire body. Yes I get heart palpitations too. Especially around that time of month or with a lot of stress. Yes thank you so much. I definitely feel less alone. 💚 I play a farm game on my tablet without sound. It helps me focus on something that's not stressful. I hope it helps and I hope you feel better soon.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Yes that time of the month brings palpitations for me too

[@rebeccacherrier4037]

I understand how hard it is to tell yourself to stop and rest. When I get burnt out I start with a 30 minute timeout, I say sorry family but I’m checking out. That usually helps enough to get me through part of the day without feeling like everything is going to hell.

[@mortyblink8355]

Take your time. God bless you, sister. God is Gracious. Amen

[@mick4300]

I think burnout comes to me when I haven't been "in touch" with my physical body. Like the connection between by body & the sensory part of my brain needs reconnecting. The business with the outside world has taken priority over attending to my internal world. Have you tried grounding mats? I love them & weighted blankets 🥰 Feel you, rest up & you'll be back at it soon. 🙏 sending love 💛

[@pleaseleavemealoneandgoheal]

I've been there, almost every week 🙄 The hypersensitivity gets so intense I can't do anything at all, too much awareness. I don't get heart palpitations anymore like I used to, I just have to push myself to rest but not before I wear myself out 😂 Being a single parent is outrageously hard for anyone so it's even harder for those of us on the spectrum.

[@t.wakkeeauriscollegerotter6384]

Thank you! It's so relatable. I'm on the waiting list for a diagnosis. I myself have no doubts anymore as after watching your channel. And burn out from last May. It's a struggle te keep getting enough rest. Hang on! This video helpt me a lot today to make me feel less alone and to give myself permission to do nothing and cancel plans. Hang in there, you will get out of it! ❤

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Thank you 🙏🏼

[@Tarynbreann]

I feel the exact same way right now, so you’re definitely not alone. You actually put into works exactly how I’ve been feeling for the last week or two. 💗

[@tammybrown4410]

I'm crying because you're speaking for so many of us. I resonate with what you're saying. Rest! Thank you Taylor! 🩷

[@noadsplease2737]

4 months ago I got bullied and then discarded by my ex for being autistic and that sent me into a PTS episode which triggered burnout and I’ve been there ever since. The only thing I’ve found that helps is CBD, noise cancelling ear buds, and a really good weighted blanket. Thank you for sharing

[@heatherinde]

Thank you for sharing this and I do feel less alone. I have chronic illness along with my neurodivergence and it’s been worse lately and so I must work so much less and I find it sooooo frustrating. Even if I don’t compare myself to Neurotypical people, there’s so much I want to be doing that is not resting.

[@ciaranhyland]

I have felt this so hard. Take all the time you need to recover, it's never an easy process but we're all here for you.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Thanks so much for the support I appreciate it

[@a.e5220]

i’m so sorry you’re going through this. we all know how hard it is! I feel lucky to have someone at home constantly reminding me that I don’t operate how other people do and I shouldn’t try. no one needs you right now other than your kids and they love you as you are ❤️ just do nothing!!

[@nict4025]

I'm exactly the same right now. I'm a single mum too, trying to work, finish a PhD, and look after my ND child, but I'm exhausted, I just wish I could take a break from life for a while. I'm off sick from work for a few weeks (in the UK so we get paid sick leave thankfully). My GP said to try doing the things I enjoy that help my mental health, like swimming, paddle boarding and surfing, but I just don't have the energy to go and do them, and I don't have the mental strength to go on my own, I need someone to make me go. Hope you recover soon. Sending hugs from Wales, UK.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Thanks for the sympathy/empathy. It is helpful to know I’m not alone but I’m also wishing you weren’t also going through it! Hang in there. We’ve got this.

[@segolily04]

100% feel you. I wish I could live under my weighted blanket 24/7. Keeping up with calories and hydration has been a struggle. You're doing amazing! Thank you for the video. I've been doubting my own burnout for weeks and this really have my permission to accept the burnout. One thing that had helped with my sleep when I wake up in the middle of the night weird is Yoga Nidra. My yoga teacher says 20 minutes of yoga nidra is like 4 hours of sleep. Give it a try and lemme know how it works for you. Sending you so much love!

[@LynneDavisMusic]

I hope you will take the time you need for yourself, Taylor! Thank you for sharing what you're going through...this was an important addition to your work and a blessing to so many.❤

[@thaflowie]

im glad some people like you are strong enough to still share all this during periods like this. i just hate humanity and myself when this happens to me and always shut everyone out while still playing normal for those who ask whats up just to not let anyone know how i feel. it does help alot knowing there are other like me out there tho and id never know unless people like u shared like this...

[@rosecurley3689]

At some point if you are extremely tired and can take the next two days to sleep, I have found that I have a pattern of crashing and sleeping for a very long time, like 13 hours straight. A few weeks ago I slept for 19 hours without waking up and when I did, I had been so burned out that I simply felt like I had had a normal, good night’s sleep. It was like a reset for my brain and nervous system 💜 I have to make sure I’ve taken care of myself before I do a long sleep, like showering and brushing my teeth and using the bathroom but also eating well that day. I really think there’s a connection between breathing, the diaphragm being tight or spasming (yawning, hiccups, YES HEART PALPITATIONS…) 😩 hope this message helps ❤️‍🩹

[@ArkaydeTheSage]

I went through and kinda am still going through a weird and very long flux of burnout. It wasn’t too long ago that I got a diagnosis. And sense then I’m learning to just let a lot of things go. My expectations and self criticisms being the most important things. I beat myself up for decades for not being the perfect this or that. Why can’t I just do XYZ like the normal people? But life doesn’t have to look like what NTs say it does. Some days feel super productive. Other days I might camp on the couch in my pajamas and play video games all day until my kids get home from school. But now I can see the productivity in that too. It is what it is. Different strokes for different folks. But don’t force yourself to fit into this image or lifestyle of what things should be. Accept what is and navigate however is healthier for you. Pace yourself and give yourself grace. That’s the only way. And one cool thing about working as a creative, it’s all compound interest. I’m a small fry compared To your operation here and I might not create anything for weeks (months even) but the income still generates. Try not to sweat it. ❤💯👍🏾

[@Jas-zzz]

Yes, yes and yes. Drinking water 🥱🫣🫨🎧😮‍💨.You said it all 😒. Me too sister💖.

[@deneag.marable1518]

I’m sorry Tay. This DEFINITELY helped me. It put a lot of what I feel into words

[@MomontheSpectrum]

So glad it was helpful to you. Thanks for your comment!

[@JM-mj1lb]

Thank you so much for sharing this Taylor, i feel less alone

[@abigailbrown5940]

Thanks Tay for sharing your vulnerable side. It is so helpful. Sending you every wish for rest and peace to rebuild your tolerance for the world. 💕💕💕

[@theastrologicalsystem1353]

I know what you mean...I support you so much, and I wish you all the healing and health you can get. Stay strong darling..

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Thank you so much 🙏

[@Ninzip]

Hi Taylor, please keep continuing to take rest. Your tips ARE working. Allow yourself time. Please don´t prioritize the channel, we can handle it. You need to take care of your body. Your body wants time to heal. If you have a hard time having confidence in getting better because it is so slow, please know I am confident for you. You will heal!

[@kalieris]

I felt your description of sleep issues in my soul.

[@Paul_ABC]

Very sorry to hear this, do know you're not alone! It's incredibly frustrating and difficult to bear. Total rest is so so difficult. Sending good vibes

[@kingseyes3717]

Glad your taking care of yourself! You’re not alone. Hugs.

[@jenniferarika5121]

I appreciate you sharing this. It helps me put words to what I'm feeling myself right now

[@Chick4Biden2024]

I REALLY hope you find the deep recovery you need! Omg, I just want to hug you (mentally or uh emotionally because I know touch of any kind probably is upsetting) but figuratively give you a hug from a friend. I had a burnout in march and I couldn't talk or do anything "adulting" in my life without crying for weeks. It sucks and I truly hope you come out of it soon. You're in my thoughts woman! 😢 p.s. we (Viewers) can WAIT! Take care of you first Taylor 💗

[@claremfrench]

oh Tay, so sorry it's so hard for you at the moment... I do wonder how you do it all sometimes. and STILL doing such a personal, helpful video! Yr so generous!! It is SOOO hard - to manage burnout in a self-caring way, and to deal with the resentment and frustration of it. Hang in there........xxxx

[@OtakuDYT]

I've been fighting this for months now, I think my unstable home environment contributes a lot to to but also look into your constant "fight or flight", that is incredibly draining on the system so if you could find the source it might help the healing process. Also another YTer suggested that "play" must accompany rest to heal faster and I find it does indeed help me. If I can find joy and stim/art/watch shows etc. then the healing does seem to speed up, even if I might not feel like doing my fav things in the moment.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Thank you for this!

[@forrestheise2596]

Hope you feel better im also struggling with sensory and a migraine that lasts 3 days and being burnt out and its very stressful awaiting my asd results and im definitely goin through the same as you and Claire thank you guys for the support

[@bikerboyxyt]

Things that helps/"fixed" me, Andrew Huberman everything pertaining to Eating, fasting, sleeping, light exposure, caffeine. Also ASMR of course.

[@clairestephens3179]

I've been watching your videos for the past two months and tune in everyday to your channel now This just came up this morning and have to reach out. There is nothing I can say to help as I'm only now discovering at my age that I may be autistic and having my own experiences with chronic burnout I just want you to know I understand how you feel. But know you are helping me so much. Thank you Taylor. ❤

[@bacchira1251]

Thanks for this real and honest video. I feel so seen, because I have been there. Especially as you said, that you pushed over it before getting the diagnosis. Feeling sick all the time. I did the same. It's so hard to go with the rythm and not doing the old strategies again. Hope you will feel better soon and recover quickly!

[@JeremiahKellogg]

Burnout is awful, but hearing other people's stories and challenges with it is helpful. What you describe is quite similar to how I experience burnout. It's reassuring that other people in the comments feel the same, too. I always worry people think I'm making it up or trying to get out of something, and it's demoralizing and it just makes everything worse. I don't understand why everything has to be so intense and complicated. In any case, special interests usually help me get out of it, but if burnout has settled in deeper than what special interests can touch, I go with weighted blankets and meditation. Sometimes it just helps to hide completely under a blanket for a few hours. Here's hoping your current burnout passes quickly and leaves you feeling better refreshed!

[@happyheart223]

Thank you so much for this video. All the best ❤

[@purpleskittle2463]

Thank you so much for sharing your experience. My doctor diagnosed me with fybro but I really feel like I am experiencing a burnout. Thank you for your strength in sharing your vulnerability. I relate to every word especially with skin sensations and sensitivity to smell. It’s like a pure torture. I exhausted and am crying that im not alone. Please know that you are not alone.