I'm Leaving My Husband Without Telling Him I Knew Of His Affair r/Relationships

[@Jesse_E5150]

She should have exposed his ass. Now, not only does she have no support, but she basically letting that cheating mofo get away with it.

[@tallyp.7643]

If she wants to sow confusion, good job. But that just leads to anger in the end, not a victory. And if she ever decides to tell the real story in the end, nobody's gonna give a damn because they'll assume she's lying. This is why divorces get difficult and become war-like, when one tries to cover the other's ass. Because the one being covered is afraid the beans will be spilled so they'll do a pre-emptive strike with lies to paint the "high grounder" as the bad person in the relationship. OP is shooting herself in the foot and gonna be surprised as hell when suddenly she's limping badly for decades from relationship to relationship. When she was established in her new place, all she'd have to do is send screenshots of the planned affair to everyone who matters as her final word on the matter (and to her divorce lawyer--I sure hope she's at least telling THEM the truth). Few people would insist on arguing, and if they did (probably hubby's parents to cover his ass), she could cut them off. But she IS being immature and hiding. I'm afraid she'll regret this in a few years when his life is just fine and dandy and she's seething.

[@badkitty4922]

​@@tallyp.7643so very well said, and I agree with you all the way. 🫂🫂

[@TortoiseNotTurtle]

Yep. She poisoned herself hoping that the ex would die

[@littleblackpistol]

I think the real reason is her ego cannot stand anyone knowing he cheated on her. Like it makes me less-than or less attractive, or humiliated in a way that she would look bad for. She's a bit fucked up but I bet her social circle and family are too if she thinks this way.

[@carolsimpson4422]

I guess she'd rather look like a bitch then like yet another pathetic betrayed wife. She was humiliated and feels powerless and wants him to feel the same

[@anonymouse9833]

The first OP needs a consulting attorney and a weekly therapist, not reddit. jfc.

[@tallyp.7643]

A thousand times, yes. THIS

[@poetryqn]

Indeed! (Although I have a funny feeling neither an attorney or therapist will have any more success than reddit. She seems bent on doing the stupidest thing possible.)

[@tallyp.7643]

@@poetryqn Yup--at least Reddit is free. A therapist would cost a lot of money for nothing if she chose to shrug her shoulders and refuse to listen to any advice or do any of the work.

[@JK-sh8rc]

This sort of reminds me of another story where OP became pregnant at 18 with a guy who left town and ghosted her. She then told everyone she didn't know who the father was & refused to file for child support. So weird because she never really gave a rational explanation as to why. Then the guy came back into town, promptly talked his way back into her bed and she got pregnant again. So now she's 20 with two children. Honestly, this woman was definitely not the sharpest tool in the shed.

[@kumikor3392]

Yes, which is why I think it's best she didn't expose this. She needs time away from her toxic ex (and his family) to heal and gain her identity back. Telling everyone does nothing but allow an audience to judge her marriage.

[@madambutterfly1997]

I get the Op has her Pride but I'm squealing to everybody. He tried to cheat on me so I left

[@badkitty4922]

Same here. I've got my pride too, but THIS bs....oh HELL to the NO. Someone get a mop, because I'm spilling all the tea!😅💖🫂

[@Solkard]

Just shows how different people think differently. I think some of the commenters pointed out very logically why she should inform others about what the husband did. But this is apparently her own form of coping/avoidance. At the very least, she got herself out of the situation.

[@Gotabonetopick]

What I don't get is what pride has to do with it? 100% of the time, being cheated on says more about the cheater than you.

[@amberleeannalee1999]

Social media posts, pics and tagging everyone

[@Nathan_Bookwurm]

She basically covered for the cheater so now he has room to cheat on someone new.

[@dummygirl1201]

She's prideful, embarrassed, and petty in a stupid way. Delusional as well. I wanna hurt him as he hurt me. Um, it doesn't work that way. All you did was make him the victim, justify his actions, and make yourself the bad guy in the eyes of everyone. No one wants to be friends with someone who ends a marriage for such a reason as boredom 🤦🏻‍♀️ This is another one where I'm wondering if she's telling the full truth, cause this makes no damn sense

[@tallyp.7643]

That "hurt him as he did me" only works (and partially at that), if he even knows what the hell he did to earn that hurt in the first place! But if she doesn't explain, how the hell is he supposed to know? She's in some weird bubble and needs a therapist, because she's tying herself into knots hiding and letting her pride take over all her decision making. This is gonna be a textbook example of "pride goes before the fall" in a few years 🤦🤦‍♂🤦‍♀!

[@TortoiseNotTurtle]

Yup. She's literally drinking a vial of poison and hoping the Ex dies. The Ex won't care, he's got a sidechick to make him feel hot when he's down. Her support network won't know, and worst of all she's entirely fucked if he decided to go the route of taking this to court. This isn't even shooting yourself in the foot, it's cutting off your own foot to throw at your enemy. The best way to put it is this quote "Don't cut off your nose to spite your face". OP is being self destructive hoping it'll make her Ex feel bad

[@Nathan_Bookwurm]

Why even make a Reddit post, have all the people scream at you that her plan won't work with good reasons, only to ignore and go through with the plan 🤦🤦😭

[@carolsimpson4422]

Obviously none of these people in ops life are close to her- So who cares what they think? If she'd rather be seen as a stone cold bitch then a hysterical crying cheated on wife- that's her prerogative. Noone owes anyone their story.

[@mayallyourbaconburn]

@@carolsimpson4422True. But the problem is that her decision ultimately hurts herself rather than her intended outcome of hurting her ex. She’s stabbing herself and expecting her ex to bleed. The ex will be fine. He’s got a back up chick and still has his reputation intact. He can move on very cleanly and have everyone’s support in doing so. He looks like the scorned lover so he will get all the sympathy, encouragement, and none of the negative repercussions. He will go on to live his best life with this new woman and OP will hurt even more because her plan to make him feel worthless predictably backfired. If she wanted to go the stone cold bitch route, tell everyone you’re too good and too amazing to stay with an unfaithful piece of sh*t. You can tell the truth and be a bad @ss at the same time.

[@TheBlueDsc]

This has got to be one of the most self destructive reactions to catching a spouse cheating I've ever seen. It's completely moronic. Like, from the outside she looks like the bad guy in every possible way. On top of that, the cheater gets to walk away from the whole thing smelling like roses.

[@bessieburnet9816]

Yeah, though what I would give to have her "not caring what people think of her" attitude.

[@TheBlueDsc]

@@bessieburnet9816 "Not caring about what others think" is nice until you hit a level of not caring that can actively screw you over.

[@Theimmure]

I also find it ironic that the opinions of others are apparently irrelevant, but she refuses to tell the truth because she prioritizes “pity” and the trope of the scorned, betrayed wife over coming out clean.

[@johnbradbury8610]

@@TheBlueDsc she doesn't care that's why she is putting it out on reddit. Duh,LOL

[@paulastiles5507]

...until the next time he cheats. Because he will.

[@ZombieSazza]

Why would OP leave and want to say “I’m bored of this marriage” instead of putting in the divorce “adultery”?!? She should grow a spine and stand up for herself FFS.

[@daricej9753]

She wanted an out and got one with his "plan" to cheat. But choosing to say she was bored is just weird😮

[@CreepyBlueAnimals84]

Bad Teacher Story: Not only should that woman never be allowed to teach again but her uncle the Principal should lose his job as well for allowing all of this abuse to continue simply because she was family!!

[@er-ha]

Agreed-OP literally said even AFTER this incident on another occasion she tried to tell his son that he couldn’t go to the nurse; she clearly didn’t even learn anything! How is she supposed to teach if she doesn’t even have the capacity to learn anything new and has little to frankly no empathy or concern for those vulnerable charges in her care?

[@maryseflore7028]

And we now also understand why he told OP to leave... And why teacher started crying. She knew how to play her uncle. Disgusting.

[@Original_Tenshi_Chan]

I agree. Uncle dearest should lose his pension and everything else he worked for. They should also open an investigation in to his treatment of kids as well. His eagerness to defend and protect her abusing kids, gives me the not so sneaking suspicion that the sadistic apple didn't fall too far from the sadistic tree. I also feel the families (Primarily the injured kids) should receive some sort of compensatory award from the principle and teacher (not the tax payers). Sadists like them won't learn unless the punishment hits where it hurts. And since they have no heart to tug on, it's time to tug on their wallet instead.

[@neilfelsbourg170]

@@er-ha I am not the most empathetic person and have often told mildly injured adults to stop whining or walk it off type thing but a child feeling sick when you know they have fainting spells is not a lack of empathy. That is sadistic or at a minimum narcissism to the point that you feel a child's health is less important than the next thing you are going say.

[@er-ha]

@@neilfelsbourg170 I would still consider it a lack of empathy BUT you are right; there really must be something else going on there for the teacher to ACTUALLY ignore the child’s health. It’s one thing to not empathise and another to decide that, because you don’t empathise with someone, they don’t deserve the care they need. It’s also not a case like where a child falls over and you respond “you’re okay!” because it means they’ll think about whether it hurts (and then cry if it does) instead of the knee-jerk reaction to cry (conditioned by adults immediately fretting and worrying, accidentally scaring the child into crying). It’s a case where there is a DOCUMENTED history THAT THE TEACHER WAS AWARE OF!!! Absolutely negligent if not actually abusive.

[@hi_stranger9156]

Story 1 : OP should just told the truth when her in-laws calling her to ask for explanation.

[@335chr]

It's probably because her ex wasn't going to cheat

[@ronhall5395]

Yes! Just tell them to ask him about Mandy( or whatever her name is). Then go no contact.

[@bimbowifemandy]

@@ronhall5395 Will people please stop blaming me for their marital problems 😅😅😅😅

[@bessieburnet9816]

Story 2: God, I wanted to deck that teacher. If it happened to me, my mum would absolutely choose violence. It's just so damaging for children to have such uncaring teachers when they're partly responsible for shaping their lives.

[@Gymtoshi]

Story one: I would have told him over the phone when he asked why, “because darling, stuff kept popping up on OUR SHARED IPAD about hotels, this lead me to looking into why, any guesses as to what I found? Divorce papers will find their way to you soon enough.” Then I’d hang up and block him on everything

[@tomeeshahaller4226]

Story 2: OP acted like any responsible parent would upon learning that his son's teacher actively put the son in danger. After that update I sincerely hope that the teacher NEVER gets another job teaching kids.

[@ringluvr]

10:17 I can't understand the OP's reasoning for not saying why she wants to divorce. He will have tons of support now and she will have none. Not smart.

[@TheEDFLegacy]

And when you combine that with not getting a lawyer? He could outright lie and say that she was having an affair on him. Sure, she has the evidence, but based on everything else here I don't know if she would be smart enough to hold on to that.

[@rubystone9074]

I'm wondering if a part of her is thinking, "If I just leave and never speak about it, it never happened, and I never have to face it directly" She's so crushed her literal flight or fight kicked in, and she's not fighting...

[@Janjones7735]

@@TheEDFLegacythey don’t have any joint property or kids so a lawyer wouldn’t be relevant in this case. Unless they had a prenup which I assume.

[@mindyschocolate]

Yeah, she’s kind of a dingbat. She needs a shiny spine.

[@valgardener7656]

@@rubystone9074 Keeping one's trauma to oneself initially is a very common reaction. She doesn't want to expose herself, in her vulnerable state, to judgment and second guessing, which is wise. Look how people are treating her in the comments. Well, people in real life can be just as bad, and can do more damage for obvious reasons.

[@Russman67]

Story 2: Teacher disregarded the child's complaints and he passed out. Then denied he says anything (lying) and finally resorted to tears when she was called out. OP has room to be pissed off. The teacher could have avoided this whole thing. Not the asshole

[@tntaylor101]

The second the teacher lied on the child (who SHE alone endangered) to save her own butt? She deserved every tear she shed.

[@OrealLove]

She cried because the principal was her uncle, and she knew that he would handle the situation. Something tells me she’s the golden child of her family. A few tears and she’s catered to like a child.

[@gwdzee]

@@OrealLove the principal should be fired, too. It's bad enough that she victimized all those kids, but he covered for her?! Fire them both.

[@denises3630]

Yup! Wanting to deny that She was in the wrong and is to blame for the situation Im glad she was fired

[@OrealLove]

@@gwdzee Right!! I hope they did!

[@nela3986]

Sorry, but I don't understand her. She doesn't want others to feel pitty for her, at the same time she says "who loves her, loves her unconditionally and who judges doesn't matter" - that's mental gimnastics. Even a close friend I have in high regards I would "judge" if they just hurt their partner by getting up and leaving for being bored. She says she doesn't care if people don't like her for acting like an arse but she definitely cares a lot about people "pitting" her. Like him being a cheater says anything about her instead of him. She is digging her own grave because she wants to come off as strong at all costs and doesn't care for the fall out.

[@tallyp.7643]

She is fooling herself into thinking she's being "strong" by being silent. But she's not--she's hiding. She'd be strong if she exposed him, and defeated all attempts to get her to go back to him by family, and moved on with her life. She thinks this is humiliating to her if she exposes him, but it would be doubly humiliating to him. Her pride is holding her back more than a need for understanding and justice. She admits she'd cave like she did when she finally talked to him after avoiding it for a while. So she's hiding because she doesn't want to risk being suckered in. Sucky situation, but she should've made the move to expose. Frustrating.

[@TortoiseNotTurtle]

Yep shes poisoning herself and hoping her Ex dies.

[@BrianLiamson]

Story 2. NTA. You were defending the actions of your son and validating him on the rightful way to do things against a mean teacher who cared more about her control of the class than the welfare of her students.

[@Solkard]

Not only that, but the teacher lying about being informed is a big red flag. If she isn’t mature enough to admit to her mistake, then she shouldn’t have any authority over kids.

[@notevenlistening6072]

Right? Cry harder, lady. You're responsible for kid's lives

[@HH-ru4bj]

We told mt niece when she was 8 that if she badly needs to use the bathroom and the teacher won't let her or some other kind of urgency, just go and don't worry about getting in trouble. That's what we are here for. Some teachers even if they aren't bullies still feel as if children are always making stuff up to get into trouble.

[@errantwinds-up8uu]

Who tf cares if the teacher cried? She was lying about the whole situation!

[@themayhemofmadness7038]

I worry that the principal knew what was happening and just decided to ignore it because the teacher was his niece. If I were the school board or the superintendent, I’d be keeping a close eye on him for the foreseeable future.

[@violacesario4389]

Story 1: There's no way I can reconcile in my head OP's reasoning for not telling her husband the truth. I just don't understand what benefit she gained from that exit - quite the opposite of "dignified," IMO. I wish her good luck.

[@335chr]

Because her ex probably wasn't going to cheat

[@violacesario4389]

@@335chr But she thought he was going to.

[@AndyyWithAY]

"Bored" and "fell out of love" makes OP sound like an AH who doesn't value marriage. If she doesn't want to have the discussion with him that's one thing, not sure if you have to have to tell your spouse why you're filing, but she should tell the reason to her lobster. I just think OP sounds delulu. Even if I was her a friend, I'd feel like they just randomly threw away their marriage with no reason. This just isn't the done thing. ETA. OMFG why did no one question why this said lobster?! 😭😭😭 Lawyer, but I'm dying laughing. 😂😂

[@mindyschocolate]

Yup. That’s how she wants it though. She doesn’t need people’s support apparently. Curious why she even reached out to a bunch of internet strangers.

[@Maybe-An-Alien]

Exactly I think it will come and bite her in the a$$...🤦

[@badkitty4922]

​@@mindyschocolatemaybe she needed to tell SOMEONE, and ask if what she was doing was right and made sense.

[@untitled-gv3qp]

Her logic is so backwards. "If people really care then they'll stick by me", not when you tell them you're doing something awful. All people know is that she ghosted her husband and said she was bored of him. That's like if you tell me you like to sleep with married people and ruin relationships and then get mad at me that I don't wanna associate with you anymore. I get it, the OP is one of those people that blames themselves or feels ashamed when their partner cheats. But her doing it this way just so she doesn't have to face the problem is really unhealthy.

[@thomasjoseph5876]

Something is seriously off with the OP in story 1. I have to wonder if the husband was actually going to cheat on her or if she "saw and read" only what she wanted to "see and read". She seems like she is really mentally unstable. It's just so odd she would tell a lie to everyone, including her family, that doesn't show her in the best light when none of this is supposed to be her fault and only his. She is making the divorce "her fault" rather than stating the truth because??? She doesn't feel like it and doesn't care what everyone including her family and friends think about her??? Then why did she post it on Reddit??? This version she is telling us just seems really ...... off.

[@wildblue0]

Story 1: "Eat away at him"? Maybe for a month or two. Then he'll be glad to have dodged the bullet of the unstable witch he married. She really shot herself in the foot.

[@Azulakayes]

She is one of those prideful people. Unfortunately for her, everyone will think she is cold hearted and it will affect the support she receives. Personally, I will never bear someone else's shame. If you cheat on me, I will tell everyone who cares to listen even your grandmother and your crazy aunt who lives in a van. I will even form a whatsapp group of your family members and put all the screenshots I have. If I happen to know your work colleagues socially, I will tell them too...I am vengeful and my pride will take a backseat to my wrath. After that, I can go to therapy and heal.😂😂😂

[@evavocative6975]

Story 1: Oh hell no; If I was divorcing a cheater, I'd be bringing proof and shaming THEM for the betrayal and saying they're the problem. Every single friend would know what the cheater did. OP doesn't understand that telling the partner she's bored does nothing to help her life. Blowing HIS life up would have hurt him a whole lot more. Honestly, this was just stupid of OP.

[@Jessidafennecfox]

Yep, at first glance I thought she was cool with wanting to divorce husband. But her dang pride made her an asshole as she looks like she is the bad guy. She should spill the tea but nope to proud to be vindictive to ex.

[@poetryqn]

@Mark Narrations, you're a better person than I am, wishing OP luck. I have never wanted to throw my phone across the room so hard at her bullheaded self destructiveness. In no world does 'leaving him in confusion' justify or explain her reaction. Despite the solid advice to tell the truth and act like a responsible adult, she goes right ahead with her ridiculous plan of seduction and painting herself as bored. This woman needs some major therapy to untangle her pretzel logic. Neither of these people is mature enough to be married.

[@Nortarachanges]

Only thing she said that makes sense is she didn’t want to find out which friends and family would try to talk her into forgiving him and staying. I would want to know, but I can understand not wanting to be betrayed all over again

[@ClappedYourdadzCheeks]

You want to throw your phone across the room because you wanted the drama, you’re pretty toxic.

[@errantwinds-up8uu]

Story 2 updates: That teacher is absolutely INFURIATING. I can't believe that she endangered and caused injury to so many students and that she did the SAME THING TO OP'S SON AGAIN. Gahhhh. Thank goodness she was fired because she was never going to learn her lesson with Uncle Principal backing her up all the time.

[@Shenn3165]

Principal needs to be investigated too, how many times was he going to sweep this under the rug!

[@MsUnamusedNerd]

STORY 2: honestly, the teacher reminds me of the one we had to in high school that would not let you get up and go to the bathroom if you started your period in class. Or would interrogate you if they don’t let you go to the bathroom, but you were sneaking a pad/tampon with you (because we were not allowed to bring our backpacks with us to go to the bathroom) He even started yelling at a girl that got up and just left his classroom because she did not want to bleed in her chair. I know that there is a teacher shortage and no one wants to teach because students and the parents of problematic students make their job worse, but there is an issue where some teachers have this weird power trip, and will ignore when a child is having a medical situation. Or if they really had to go to the bathroom, I have seen some tiktoks where parents posted videos of them yelling at teachers because their kids had an accident in class because the teacher would not let them go to the bathroom…. Overcrowding in schools is an issue in the bathrooms tend to be full and we can’t go to the bathroom every time between glasses. Especially depending on how strict your school system is or how strict, the teachers are with being a few minutes late, if your classes on the other side of the building, nowhere near bathroom, you don’t have time to go. ATU: yep, she is definitely that type of teacher….. when it comes to teachers like that parents really need to encourage their kids to ignore their teachers and leave a classroom if they need to whether it’s for a medical condition, starting their period, or if they really need to go to the bathroom and their moments away from using the chair as a toilet. What constitutes just like that I don’t feel bad for them when parents go to the school and caused them hell. That’s what they deserve it.

[@zozocecp]

Honestly, when I was growing up (2000s) I remember having more teachers that were on some weird power trip than good ones. To be fair, it was probably the district I moved to, don’t recall have crappy teachers until the town I moved to from 3rd grade to highschool

[@diamcole]

Yes!! This happened to me in the 6th grade, I got my period for the first time and didn't realize it - when I noticed something on my skirt, I asked to go to the nurse because I was confused and scared. The teacher yelled at me for disrupting class so I sat there for the next thirty minutes silently. When the bell rang and he saw my chair, he got even angrier and said I should have known better - I was so sad and called home from the office. My dad showed up and went off, ripped him a new one in front of the principal lmao I've never seen him so pissed.

[@Emi_TheWinged]

Yeah some adults just want to have power over anything (addicted or some) and the only way for them to actually have some is to abuse children because ofc they can't do much or an adult can scare them from telling someone. It's sick

[@YellaBellaReno]

I got mine in 4th grade. It was a nightmare. They didn’t even have trash cans in the bathroom in 4th, 5th, or 6th grade; I had to go out to the hallway to throw them out. I’d hide my pads in a wad of paper towels so no one could see. That worked, until we ran out of paper towels; then I had to use toilet paper, and the other kids noticed. Kids are just waaaay to attentive. I also had a medical condition that caused me to be home bound after 9th grade. I had many many issues with teachers not letting me leave for the nurse, to the point that I would just leave the classroom whether the teacher gave permission or not. Much like the story, my classmates would escort me if I needed help, against the teachers wishes. Once they saw me pass out the first time, they didn’t care what the teachers would threaten. Pretty sweet and brave, considering how ruthless our principle was and how few of them actually knew me (because I was always out sick, I didn’t have a lot of time in school to make friends).

[@nataliereeves3594]

The update reveals that she only got and kept the job because her uncle was the principal. She would have lost her job long ago if that one mom had not brought forth all the evidence. The principal should have lost his job as well for allowing this to go on for so long.

[@mindyschocolate]

Hard to feel sorry for OP in S1 when she’s such a doormat and won’t say she left because he cheated. She’s going to come out losing on this. Hope she likes being judged.

[@valgardener7656]

She stayed silent to avoid being judged while in a vulnerable and traumatized state, which can compound the original trauma. You see it in SA as well. That is why people keep things to themselves. Even kind and well meaning interference can be damaging. And as your comment shows, many people aren't kind and well meaning towards the weak and vulnerable. Most people have bullies in them just waiting for someone else to be traumatized in order to come out. So OP probably did the right thing. Not by posting on Reddit, obviously, but by keeping things to herself. A lawyer or therapist maybe can be trusted. Human beings generally? Not so much.

[@godzillakungfu]

She found out and left, that’s not being a doormat. She didn’t blame herself or give him any excuses to gaslight. No one likes what she did, but she isn’t a doormat.

[@jjm152]

Lol, so many people are a bit delusional about how people are going to view OP. People fall out of love and end relationships all the time it's not something people carry a scarlet letter around for. I think people are MORE ANGRY that OP's ex husband isn't getting buttblasted by his friends and family than they are ACTUALLY CONCERNED for OP.

[@paulastiles5507]

@@godzillakungfuYeah, this. She didn't want to give him a chance to sweet-talk her out of it. Also, this way, she leaves him wondering if she caught him out and that this is why she left. The girl chose violence.

[@randomusername3873]

She's actively protecting him by making him look like the victim and herself look awful, that's one of the stupidest things I've read Second only to the guy that was aware that his ex wife was alienating his kids with lies and refused to come clean for no reason, letting them hate him and failing them on every level

[@TortoiseNotTurtle]

Story 1. Honestly its starting to get hard to feel bad for OP. Her actions do nothing but protect the ex socially and make her seem like an A-hole. Shes cutting off her nose to spite her face. Tell the ex shes bored sure but let the in-laws, her family, her friends know of the cheating and show reciepts. Now everyone will think shes an asshole for lesving because of "boredom" and the ex just has an excuse and a shield. "Oh but itll hurt the Ex", no it wont. He has a sidechick to make him feel good when he's down. He'll likely move on just as quickly. Not even mentioning how the Ex can probably just now blame OP on the marriage falling apart and decimate her in court. And her whole "true friends wont judge" is fucking stupid. Friends and fsmily hold each other accountable and if you dismiss those who leave or scold you because you did something wrong, then youre delusional. OP has made herself the bad guy and is just hoping that the Ex will feel bad.

[@JettSettingBengal]

Agreed

[@wildfyah]

I'm screaming at him that he tossed AP aside for lobster pasta 😂😂

[@NoOne-fo1di]

My mom blew up on a teacher once for something similar with my little brother and the teacher started crying and my mom's excat words were "don't even start with the tears, you didn't give a shit when my son started crying while you yelled at him for doing excatly what he was supposed to do so your tears aren't going to distract me from your fuck up"

[@veezopolis]

Cmon op way to defend your husband from any accountability. What's your problem?

[@DrewLSsix]

Did you even listen to the video? Why should she want to help him be accountable? Help him improve himself for the next relationship? Help him come to terms with his shit? No, she wants to hurt him, make him feel like he's not enough, deny him any satisfaction. Who cares if other people think she's a bad guy? Who cares if friends or family talk about her? I say burn the man to the ground, hurt his pride and ego in the worst possible way, let him know that he's utterly inadequate.

[@TortoiseNotTurtle]

@DrewLSsix except she's not hurting him. Lying just makes OP seem like the ass and gives the ex a perfect opportunity to jump on. Taking accountability means taking the brunt of the shit storm that a divorce is. If the Ex decides he basically can make the divorce her fault in court. OP is drinking a shitload of poison and hoping her Ex feels bad for her. This does nothing but protect him from seeing any blowback or damage. He already has a partner, he can just move on. OP won't make him feel inadequate, he has someone willing to screw him. It's shooting OP herself in the foot and hoping that she gets some blood on her Ex' shoes. Also this isn't just about him. OP needs to let the family or her friends at the very least know. She needs a support network. Friends are meant to hold Friends accountable and if you make yourself seem like a shitty partner/person, I'd be more concerned for those that stuck by your side. Once again, OP is harming herself to harm her Ex, but given that the Ex is already cheating, why should he care? To give the third analogy of this comment, she's setting herself on fire hoping to break the Ex into an uncomfortable sweat.

[@badkitty4922]

​@DrewLSsix I understand what you're saying and where you're coming from, but OP could do both. Tell the truth and expose him for his lying,cheating bullshit AND make it clear that because of this HE'S not good enough for OP. He's sub par and unworthy of her presence in her life. Does that make sense?

[@TortoiseNotTurtle]

@badkitty4922 Yeah and OP isn't doing both though. That's why I said tell the family, tell the in-laws, tell the friends. If she wants to hurt the Ex then why rely on his moral compass? She's doing nothing but hurting herself for this stupid plot that's barely even effective. What'll hurt more? Your Ex saying she was bored and leaving you with your affair partner or your spouse, family and friends slowly cutting you off after realizing what a disgusting person you are? She's drinking poison and thinks it'll kill her Ex. It won't

[@mayallyourbaconburn]

@@DrewLSsix Uh, because the truth has natural repercussions that lying doesn’t? She’s unintentionally covering for his sorry @ss. Now he’s got sympathy, love and encouragement from all his friends and family to find someone “better” than that mean ol’ OP. He’s not gonna feel worthless. He’s gonna feel validated and vindicated. His pride was protected honestly. He’ll ultimately shrug his shoulders and go “oh well. On to the next one.” You know… the one he already has lined up. Holding him accountable however means everyone in his social circle will know his shame. His parents, his friends, future potential lovers (if the AF partner didn’t work out). And all of them will shame him, or cut him out making him feel isolated and worthless. You know… the INTENDED result. Think smarter, not harder friend.

[@poohbear4515]

I wanna feel bad for OP, but she basically and stupidly dug her own grave when she didn’t tell anyone about her soon-to-be-cheating-ex asshole. I’s very hard when your trying to tell her the difficulties she’ll endure when she won’t tell anyone about it. I’m sick and tired of people who ask for help, but when given good advice, they won’t listen and do their own thing which sometimes leads them down hard.

[@MsStrangeEmilie]

Story 1: so much anger and hate towards OP, letting everything go. Did not give the TRUTH! Seems like a coward way out.

[@marshawargo7238]

Not only that, but now he's going to project! He's going to tell Everyone that She was cheating On Him! When he does, she just gave away any reason for people to believe her defense! Now if the truth does come out, it will Look like She's the one projecting to cover Her cheating!😢

[@hausofphid3966]

​@@marshawargo7238And if she ever does reveal the reason, it's likely she won't be believed. Disappointed in the route she took; further letting her husband get away with shit behavior

[@BrianLiamson]

Story 1. There's already an emotional affair and their relationship was leading towards a physical affair. In some situations like this, your marriage can still be salvage. But if you choose to leave him, make sure he knows why. Tell your family and his family as well. This way there's accountability and you can control the narration.

[@kristinmartin2899]

Honestly op made me so annoyed. It was ridiculous and unfair to everyone how she did it.

[@Furzkampfbomber]

This reminds me of 'Minority Report', where a couple of psychics find people who, according to their probabilistic risk assessment, are supposedly _going to_ commit a crime and then police and the legal system crack down on them. For things they did not have done yet, but are supposedly going to do. Also, I wonder how much OP is responsible for the behaviour of her partner herself. Mind you, the person who is talking is always right and I am under the strong impression that she left _a lot_ of things out that would put her into a bad light. Like, controlling and paranoid behaviour or distancing herself from her partner as punishment for supposed crimes. You know, I once ended a relationship because my then girlfriend began snooping around and to show that she would not fully trust me anymore. Her excuse? I cheated on her... in a _dream._ After that she went nuts and one of her excuses was also that I would 'emotionally' cheat on her with one or maybe even more of my female co-workers. I honestly call BS on OP.

[@mandylloyd]

See for me s3x is just s3x, but an emotional affair & the betrayal of trust that goes with it is unforgivable to me

[@kristinmartin2899]

@@mandylloyd I agree. I don’t think she’s unjustified in actually leaving him. Just tell him why. He’s already justifying it in his head that she’s having an emotional breakdown and depersonalising it. I just hope if the story is true it goes viral and he learns the truth and is accountable

[@hausofphid3966]

​@Furzkampfbomber But... he DID do something. He had planned, not months, to sleep with another woman. That is enough for OP to leave. Maybe she had some part to play, maybe not, but she is justified in leaving after finding out her husband is emotionally cheating and was planning to make it physical. Are you suggesting she would actually have to wait for him to do the deed? That's just silly. He made a plan, it was in writing. That's enough.

[@sane_njomi]

Story 1: OP's pride is insane

[@chryssesandchaos]

Story 1: I get OP, it's annoying that many people don't seem to understand, the not knowing why you're SO left, there will be no closure for her ex-husband, one commenter got right, thinking about the real reason why she left would eat at him, make him miserable, unfortunately, OP made the mistake of answering one of his phone calls and was not able to stop herself from revealing the real reason. I'm with OP all the way, who cares if people would see her as the villain, as long as there are no kids involved, so be it. I hated some of the comments who refuse to respect OP's decision and insist that OP do it their way, controlling internet freaks!

[@tireddaily]

story 1: i get OP i wouldn't want to talk to him either but i would've told my family and friends, i hope she eventually feels comfortable being vulnerable with them about this

[@tallyp.7643]

She'd better do it sooner rather than later (and hope she got screenshots), because the longer it goes on, the less likely they'll want to listen to anything she had to say. When you give folks a chance to talk or get help and they don't take it, eventually you give up. Then when she's ready, they won't be.

[@MGP2210]

Story 02. Excellent work getting rid of that terrible teacher. Now get rid of that corrupt school principal.

[@2003johnson2]

Story 2: I have POTS. It isn't pretty. It's also always brushed aside or blamed on other things. It took me 10 years and 4 doctors for them to get down to POTS, let alone teachers or my parents understanding until I fainted right in front of them. Well done OP for standing up for your son!

[@cathyevans2160]

Grow a backbone OP. Alls you did was make hubby look like the wronged one and you like an AH. Way to hold him accountable.

[@tallyp.7643]

She'll regret it when she notices her own family turn against her to comfort her STBX hubby... but it'll take a while because she's so wrapped up in fixing her pride. Divorces are where pride goes to die as people just try to get out with more than the shirt on their backs... if she's so bloody concerned about her pride, she should take a sledgehammer to his and EXPOSE HIM! She's gonna lose everything in a few years, if not sooner, with this decision... the way people in affair fogs tend to agree to things too quickly to end their marriages and start over with their APs, only realizing how bad they screwed themselves once the fog lifts.

[@Jesse_E5150]

@@tallyp.7643 And then she will be back on Reddit crying about how everyone has turned their backs on her. The only proper response should be, "You chose this."

[@BlueCaesar13]

On one hand, she "doesn't care about what people think about her". On the other hand, she doesn't want the people people might feel for her if they knew the truth.

[@hello93617]

Wait, so he flew this girl in, then cancelled last minute because his wife sent him a lingere photo? Something about this story isnt adding up.

[@ToxicSunrise132]

Story 1: y'know, I feel like OP accidentally got the perfect revenge after that last conversation. That dude's gonna spend the rest of his life wondering if she actually figured it out, or if he's just being paranoid.

[@Siinwu]

1st story is a weird one, an odd ESH. him for cheating, her for being immature and quite frankly odd to an unhealthy degree, makes you wonder if thats why he started cheating, because she was nuts.

[@GrumpyOldFart2]

No, she wasn’t “nuts”. And I like that you blame HER for him cheating. If she was “nuts”, and he had had it with her behavior then fine, he can do the mature thing: get a divorce, and then he can stick his d*ck into any random vagina as much as he wants. I can kinda understand her reasoning; just to slip away quietly into the night, no long drawn out fight of pleading, cajoling, etc. She said herself that one of the things she was afraid of was that her husband might convince her to stay. The only thing I wish is that I really hope she sees a therapist; it does not seem her self-esteem is very high. At the very least a “grief” counselor; someone to help her regarding the “death” of her marriage.

[@megan.best.]

Story 2: NTA. As someone with dysautonomia (POTS is a form of this), I’m glad that OP stood up for his son. The nurse at my middle school and high school was like this and wouldn’t let me lay down when I needed to. I, and so many other students, have so many horror stories about her. I wish she had lost her job like this teacher did.

[@jacearmor5274]

S2: NTA!! She needs to be fired. Who knows how many students could be hurt in the future because of her.

[@KeitieKalopsia]

I can empathize with the first OP. To some people, it feels better to be the villain than the victim. It gives you some control over your situation and how you’re perceived, because if you’re going to have a negative image associated with you either way, better to be hated than pitied.

[@bonefetcherbrimley7740]

Story 1: That dinner is amazing looking.

[@Windxchild]

Story 2: some people are not allowed to teach. It kind of worries me that this teacher was “just” fired. Which means she can and probably will do this again to other children at another school…

[@macylouwho1187]

Another thing-you can absolutely tell friends and family why you left this way without telling the husband at the time, and ask them not to talk to him about it. Other people close to you can know without him knowing. You can always explain the situation to anyone you feel needs to be privy to that information on a need to know basis.

[@chaosshiva4165]

Op in story one is making sure that Ex’s next spouse is cheated on too. They’re a fool. The passive aggressive hints were dumb. Should have at least told the parents.

[@MiraTheWarlock]

"A teacher could've gotten my son killed, am I the bad guy for making her cry?" In my not so humble opinion, OP was not brutal enough. Like ONE wrong head injury could do severe damage. And if you get too many, even mild, also serious damage eventually. Soooo to cause that due to a power trip? Oh this means war. I'm talking lawsuits, demands of that woman being fired, media, negative reviews, THE WHOLE NINE YARDS Edit:...Of course she was a relative to the principal. Very well, fire them both

[@SalvatoreFerrell]

Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.

[@SalvatoreFerrell]

Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counsellor, and how do i reach her?

[@SalvatoreFerrell]

Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive.

[@Abby_Normal_1969]

I don't understand OP any more than the negative comments. To them I say this: OP knows herself, her limits, her vulnerabilities more any anybody else. If this is what she thinks she needs to heal, then so be it. Best of luck, OP. I have been there, watching a partner about to cheat, then watching it happen.

[@QueenOfTheZombieApocalypse]

Story 2: nah, good on OP. I used to get the “you don’t look sick, you can’t go to the nurse” when I was little. Eventually I stopped telling teachers I was ill. Turns out I had multiple serious autoimmune conditions. I spent every day in chronic pain until I was 16 and finally got diagnosed. Now at 33 I still have physical and psychological issues. Was it harsh? Yes, but it was also necessary so that she learns to be the responsabilidad adult on the room she is paid to be. After the edit: I have even less sympathy, that teacher needs to lose her license (or whatever credential system OP’s country uses)

[@FanFicnic]

That mom in story 2 is my hero.

[@meezerluvr]

Story 2 - This story doesn't come to a satisfactory conclusion until the Principal gets his walking papers.

[@hugibbet5295]

i think ghosting is the best way to deal with cheaters if you're not confrontational. unless there's kids i personally would arrange my housing and change my number before disappearing.

[@Ospyro3em]

Yeah, I still think she should have told him that he knows.

[@GalliaUchiha]

Story 2. They can still sue the lady and the principal for child endangerment. That principal shouldn't be in charge of anything.

[@nairbvel]

My mother is a retired public school teacher, and she would NEVER stop a child who stated they needed the nurse from leaving the room. Even if she suspected it was just a case of cabin fever, a request for a nurse visit was never turned down... but all were followed up later on by a quick check with the nurse to see if the kid showed up, and if not then a report was quietly filed with the proper administrator(s). Just because a kid doesn't "look sick" doesn't mean there's nothing going on.

[@joeschmo622]

Parents need to be very strict with their kids: _"If you ever have a situation where you _*_need_*_ to leave the room, whether to go to the bathroom, to the school nurse, anything like that, and the teacher doesn't let you... _*_just get up and go_*_ anyway. _*_I WILL SUPPORT YOU._*_ But make sure it's an absolute emergency, and _*_DO NOT ABUSE IT_*_ because if we find out later it you did it for fun or whatever, and it _*_wasn't_*_ an emergency, then it's all on you and _*_YOU_*_ will suffer the consequences of being suspended, expelled, punished at home, etc."_ In any matter, teach your kids to be responsible and have their own minds, and that you'll back them when it's justified, but also be prepared if they pull a false alarm that their own assses are on the line.

[@maxpanzer10]

Perfect timing! I just sat down to eat leftovers for breakfast and now I have a new video to listen to!

[@celinelovell4725]

People who are cheated on have no reason to be embarrassed at all should feel no shame at all

[@tinak2576]

This makes me think of the OP whose husband cheated on her with her childhood bully. She staunchly refused to “give them the satisfaction” of letting them know she knew. She gave him an ominous warning about her and left.

[@KE-hr4sb]

S2: NTA. She endangered your son by not believing him or his friend, and when busted, LIED about it. I'd be out for blood.

[@FlyingPurplePplEatr]

Dad is NTA and he should file a lawsuit

[@TheOddityFair]

S1 - OP, sometimes going nuclear has its advantages. She may not care how he looks in the moment, but she will when those she thought loved her start blaming her. I think she’s seriously underestimating how this will be. S2 - I love when we see stories about good parents. Read too many bad ones, honestly. Good on OP for standing up for his son. Also, huge props to that mom who brought the hammer down on that “teacher.”

[@miked1686]

The PRINCIPAL needs to be fired and held accountable. School board also for hiring a clearly incompetent principle.

[@cameronnorris2055]

I had teachers that wouldn't let kids go to the bathroom during their class, they always said go during passing time/lunch/recess, passing time is only 5 minutes, so we would've been late to class, and if we needed to go during recess/lunch we would've gone then. Power trip over kids needing to take a piss.

[@hilaryc3203]

#1 OP thinks she is maintaining her dignity by doing it that way; instead, she shredded it.

[@Regrettable-Username]

S2: Those tears were weaponized. She knew that she was in the wrong and wanted to get out being called out.

[@OfficialMageHD]

"Those who love me, love me unconditionally and those who judge me, is their opinion really worth it?" Those are the words of someone that'll push away anyone that cares about them enough to be honest to them when they need a wake up call.

[@catherineg4826]

Story 1 is so frustrating, I just can’t understand her thought process. She’s basically letting him get away with it. Story 2 made me so angry, I totally agree with OP, I’d have gone nuclear if that was my kid

[@kerribottriell-baxter7345]

2nd story: As I've said many times, I am THAT Mum teachers dread at times, because they know I don't take BS. Especially with my kids' health and safety. NTA!

[@hello93617]

I dont believe OP in story 1. Her actions scream of someone who cant admit what's motivating them, so they're adamant about it being another reason, but they cant see that to everyone else their actions seem bizzare.

[@j12300]

Story1: it never ceases to amaze me how intrusive in laws are…. The fact that they called her for an explanation… people really need to learn how to mind their own business.

[@grizzlybeard8368]

That last story, I'm surprised I've not heard about this in the news because it is news worthy.

[@faye25ful]

I fully believe she will be mad at herself later in life.

[@cheekyweb8055]

Story two- tbh he could of sued the school from that kind of bs! What bs

[@PuppyKatt]

Story 2: NTA You are well within your rights to be angry at that teacher. What the principal needs to do is have the crybaby teacher remain in the office, and go into the classroom and ask the fellow students what they heard and saw. Then the parents can sue the teacher, school, and school division for damages. Also, OP, get your child out of that school. Edit: The principal should also have been fired.

[@jenniesprinkle2136]

Person with POTS here. I was diagnosed 3rd year of highschool. It took about 6 months from the start of symptoms to getting my diagnosis and I was REALY lucky it was that fast and I had the resources I did. I was at boarding school when it happened and a lot of people (the teachers, nurses, and dorm staff) didn’t believe what I was going through until after I got my diagnosis, and even after there were some holdouts that didn’t always listen when I told them I wasn’t feeling well. It SUCKED. But I can say for sure theres no way that teacher couldn’t tell when he was about to pass out. Not only do you feel like hell, you look like hell right before it happens. Sweaty, pale, bleary eyed, and shivering. If that teacher had taken one good look she would have known. That teacher should never be in charge of kids with that kind of outlook.

[@kumikor3392]

Story 1: I support OP not telling anyone. I, personally, don't care if people think I'm the "bad guy" because they're irrelevant to me. I don't want everyone knowing my husband cheated on me because it's not their business. I can get support from loved ones, but I wouldn't want drama when this should be about me and not how others perceive me. Story 2: OP didn't go far enough. So what she cried?! She ignored his son and his son was injured. That teacher was on a power trip, and it wouldn't have cost her anything to get a nurse.

[@Tyanna01]

Story 2: Sounds like the principal should be reported and investigated. He knew she was a danger for students for 6 years and hid it b/c she was family.

[@dawnbatiste6302]

Story 1 OP can't handle confrontation. That's what this is all about.

[@eileenhathaway1674]

Why were no charges filed against that teacher? And the principal foe covering it up? She was deliberately risking a life and had been doing it for years. They had evidence compiled too!

[@LoveableNiki]

Story 1: People are making a deal out of OP not informing Husband that OP knows Husband had plans to cheat. Who cares? Do people go around explaining why they are divorced all the time? Do friends, family, and associates demand this information so they can decide how to treat the parties? Whatever OP decides to do, Husband can make up whatever story about the demise of his marriage. People do it all the time. Comments focused on this seem so strange. Like, OP is going to experience something catastrophically negative if goes through with the original plan. It does not seem that serious.

[@kecward78]

Story 1: Husband is the main AH, but OP is too for NOT telling everyone about his soon-to-be affair. Story 2: The teacher is def and AH, but so is her uncle, the nepotism principal. One part that might make OP the AH... he said the teacher knew. Did the teacher know because the child told the teacher, the parents told the teacher or that the school/principal were told? I only ask this because a child can make up stories that a teacher might not believe. But in this case, it's obvious the teacher wouldn't care since she was not respecting any other students that had medical issues. As long as OP notified the school thru proper channels, then they are not an AH.

[@terramarini6880]

She knew, there were protocols already in place outlining how the child would get to the nurse that the teacher chose to ignore based on his "appearance". She was also there for 6 yrs at that point, not really a she's new here and didn't know situation.

[@devegas4910]

Story 2: it sounds like the principal needs to get fired too

[@PhoenixForceTravelAgency]

Story 1: Her whole plan was dumb af!!!! Like it’s upsetting me how dumb it is!!

[@skylazer4065]

I would do the same as the OP in story 1. It is so much easier to run away from your problems and ignore them than to confront them. It's not healthy, but it's easier.

[@jennyspeicker4712]

That last story.... NEVER mess with a mama bear (or papa bear). They WILL eat you alive 😂

[@FanFicnic]

Story 1: I just wanted her to call HR an anonymously tip that two of their execs were having an affair. Prolly on the company dime.

[@Eirilyn]

Story 1, it will only bother him for a few weeks and then he will shrug it off as OP was crazy to throw a 'great guy' like him away.

[@browniewin4121]

1) Good for OP for not accepting her husband lying, disloyalty and cheating. Make plans to get what is hers out, have divorce papers ready with the reason, then walk away. Do not allow him or others to not know the real reason. I think her idea of how to handle this is not going to be beneficial. After update: Glad OP found a place of her own. After update: I do hope the divorce will go well for OP and she will not come to regret her decision to keep the real reason a secret. 2) I fully understand OP being furious at the teacher. His son was endangered by her and she needs to be held accountable, she should be removed as a teacher. NTA. I think OP did not go far enough, get an attorney to deal with this issue. I think a Service Dog would be a good thing for the son. After update: It's good the teacher was removed and that OP's son realizes he has a right to proper treatment. I'm so glad someone made this teacher be accountable for her bad behavior.

[@scruffylookingNerfherder5742]

The second story about the terrible teacher brought to mind a story that a friend of mine told me when I was in school. Now keep in mind that this took place in the late 80s and my friend Garth was talking about something that happened to his father when he was a young kid in school. Apparently he need to go to the bathroom really badly and he put his hand app and asked the teacher if he could go it's your week ago but she just snowed at him to sit down and finish his work (Garth's dad was about 8 or 9 at the time). So he sat down again but within a few minutes he was about ready to pee his pants so he put his hand up again and ask the teacher again if you could go to the bathroom and the old bag just snow led him to sit down and shut up. By this point he was getting really desperate so this time he walked up to the front of the class and stood in front of the teacher to ask her yet again and again she told him to go sit down or he was going to go to the principal's office. What Garth told me next had me laughing my ass off for at least a good 10 minute straight. Apparently his father said "FINE" play it and then flopped out his Dick and pissed all over her leg! He ended up getting the cane and getting detention for about a month but he said it was totally worth it just to see the look on her face!

[@melisandeperalta6146]

Story 2: POTS can be very dangerous if not managed properly. I lived for years with undiagnosed POTS, and it affected many aspects of my health. For a teacher to ignore the child's warnings and just yell, their could have been some much greater consequences.

[@happyfriar]

The op in story 1 is the kind every cheater hopes they marry. He messed around and never had to find out because she made it all her fault like an idiot.

[@freedomlindsay3084]

Omg, I'm 61 and after years of thinking I was passing out from low blood sugar I've been diagnosed with POTS or positional orthostatic tackicardia syndrome. That poor kid. The teacher should be fired and never hired by any school again. The kid could have died if he hit his head on anything. Some people should never be teachers, I should know, I've got a sister, I don't talk to her, but she did a horrendous job raising her son and I shudder to think how she treats her students, YIKES.😢😢😢😢😢

[@maddydavidsdottir9862]

I remember my teachers treating me like this when I was diagnosed with POTS, even after I ended up collapsing in maths class and split my head open, fractured my skull and ended up in a medically induced coma for 6 months my maths teacher still told me I was faking! Having invisible disabilities as an adult fucking sucks and is hell, having them as a child was worse

[@justaperson4656]

I'm someone who has episodes, have done my whole life. Vomiting, nausea, hot/cold flushes, passing out (VERY occasionally, and gently, kind of like drifting to sleep?), the works. I once took a paracetamol in class and my teacher accused me of being a druggie because I popped a "mystery pill" and laid my head down on the table. Half of the student body were convinced she didn't like kids, since she made us do physical exercise if we (god forbid) pronounced words wrong. Star jumps, pushups, the like. She was t boned by a truck in my last year or two of school, and I've heard she's nicer now

[@belial3781]

Story 1: Seeing this kind of self-sabotage from op is so frustrating. At this point, I can't even sympathize with op anymore. "I want to hurt him as he hurt me." Then proceeds to hand this man all the tools he needs to permanently ruin her life. That'll show him.

[@-MrsG-]

Oh goodness, I was suspecting POTS when OP was describing his symptoms. I’d be absolutely furious at them ignoring my child. It may be time to look at alternative arrangements, but my kiddo was prescribed a wheelchair for safety and told to wear compression garments and add a lot of extra salt to their diet. Absolutely not the AH to the parent.

[@rebeccay480]

Story 1. OP should just have said she knew about the affair and any questions he has for her can go through a lawyer or third party. Story 2. I had a teacher do something similar. I warned her I was going to throw up. She stated I was fine and to sit down. Needless to say chunks were spewed and was somehow my fault the teacher didnt allow me to leave when I asked.