I'm REFUSING To Let Aunt See New Born But Family Thinks I Should Keep The Peace r/Relationships

[@Zanzetihunter]

The fact Aunt went into "a rage" after being told no means she ABSOLUTELY SHOULD NOT SEE THE BABY. I would never allow someone like that near my baby. Family or not.

[@WobblesandBean]

OP needs to call CPS on the aunt. She's mentally deranged and her children are never going to have peace as long as they remain under her care.

[@michaelplunkett8059]

Now it is for Grandma and your Mom to lay down the law to her. She is way out of control.

[@KittyWillCutYou]

Exactly.

[@honeybunny3365]

Its no wonder why shes not able to have a child. God is probably saying "fuck no"

[@kmore2766]

yeah that later stuff was scary, aunt is unstable. but my first thought for story 1? was "well, DUH they think you aren't prepared for a kid- you are TWENTY!" Not even old enough to go into a bar, doesn't have their own savings or home (a trailer at mom's house?). I know I was still growing a lot when I was 20, still in college, learning the ways of people and the world. Yes, they have a maybe-psycho aunt, but also probably shouldn't be having babies until they're older/more mature/stable.

[@toxicdotaep2890]

bruh imagine seeing a dude nearby take off his ring and proceed to mind his own business lifting weights not even looking at you and you immediately assume he desires you carnally. what is wrong with that lady

[@lorifiedler13]

My husband can't wear his ring when he golfs, bikes, skis, and sometimes when he mows the yard. Girl needs to get over herself. 🙄

[@toxicdotaep2890]

@@lorifiedler13 for real ! my dad used to take his rings off for karate because it's dangerous to spar with jewelry on. it's really not that weird or suspicious

[@andysheepleton]

With some of these situations the people really are mentally ill. That doesn't make it OK and people should stick up for themselves if someone is mistreating them mentally ill or not. The woman was clearly delusional, but you can be delusional without being mentally ill, you can also be delusional while being mentally ill. My guess is that she is an alcoholic and suffering from alcohol psychoses. Sad but completely her fault. The symptoms are suspiciousness or more pronounced paranoid delusions, so pretty much hits the nail on the head.

[@zerobolt9506]

Yea, he in no way messed up here

[@dustyrose192]

Main character sydrome

[@mgen278]

Story 2: Did y’all hear about that woman who filmed an elderly woman in a gym locker room & said something along the lines of “if I have to see it, so do you”? Apparently she was sued & lost her job, rightfully so. My gym doesn’t allow people to film others without permission & the people on the floor are really good about paying attention to this kinda thing. Can’t believe people think it’s okay to randomly film in a gym, bathroom & locker room

[@thebigbadwolfe_27]

Some gyms here in Australia have a no video policy - you can't even film yourself.

[@thesecretshade]

I remember that story. I don't know if the filmed person was elderly but i remember the person that filmed was some influencer model but she didn't even have a job other than that lol She did get ripped to shreds on the internet

[@PrincessAfrica3]

@@thesecretshade i feel so sorry for the woman that was being filmed…wow

[@ayranhudson9280]

Yeah her name is Dani Mathers and she was a playboy bunny and she threw her career away because she didn’t realize what she was doing in the moment is horrible and not just a joke

[@allisoncastle]

Omg I remember that! She actually went to jail but I specifically remember it wasn’t for very long:/

[@mogulmade]

Story 1: I'm so sick of people letting family urge them to be polite to the member who is hurting them. No is no. Aunty would not see my child and family wouldn't either for enabling her and not stopping this mess. I just do not deal.

[@technicaldifficulties368]

Where's all the people urging AUNTY to be nice?

[@khaleesireyna731]

Exactly. More enablers need to be put on blast for allowing the family's creaky stairs to act the way they do. Every family member that is pressuring OP needs to be told exactly why they're also massive POS.

[@paulagoeringer9466]

@@technicaldifficulties368 seriously. It's always the one being bullied who has to " keep the peace". 🙄

[@JDKT002]

Any time I hear about family urging someone to "keep the peace" I just think they are enablers letting someone with serious mental problems stomp all over everyone. I'm usually right.

[@katarinatibai8396]

@@technicaldifficulties368 💯💯💯

[@owl7072]

Story 2: Pretty certain that it's common sense to take off any jewelry that may cause issues when working out, especially if said jewelry is a ring and you're gonna be lifting weights. A ring could dig into your skin and cause discomfort, which could, in turn, cause you to drop the weight. Imagine being so full of yourself that you think someone taking their ring off at the gym has anything to do with _you_ and not general safety, especially when they haven't even spoken to you/acknowledged your existence.

[@Metal_Mouth]

There's also the possibility of damaging the ring, as constant, firm, metal on metal contact can ruin the ring. You'd think that's common knowledge not to wear precious jewelry at the gym but when you have severe main character syndrome that bit of common sense goes out the window.

[@marshawargo7238]

She probably just wanted a TicToc of her taking down a creep, go viral. He should have called the cops, because I'll Bet she drove out of there after drinking Vodka in her travel cup!

[@anndownsouth5070]

I can't help to think that she was upset that he didn't hit on her.

[@NotAFanOfHandles]

Causing discomfort is the least of my worries - you could get a _ring avulsion_ which, least to say, is very unpleasant and could cause permanent damage to your finger. (Which makes sense because a ring avulsion means you basically removed the skin and muscles from your finger. 😱)

[@anndownsouth5070]

@NotAFanOfHandles that sounds painful and nasty. My husband was a diesel mechanic and he never wore his ring at work and would only wear it on special occasions.

[@owl7072]

Story 1: "I know she treated you terribly, but you should have just let her stomp all over your boundaries and essentially tell her that it doesn't matter if you draw a line in the sand cause as long as she has a big enough tantrum, you'll let her cross it anyway in order to keep the peace."

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

"How would you feel if you were in my shoes? Would you cave into her tantrums just to keep the peace?"

[@raven4090]

@@PrincessQ-fj9ly Have you never seen sarcasm?

[@agentzapdos4960]

"Fine, you can adopt the baby, since you'll never stop until we're not parents anymore. Further, I have an appointment scheduled to have my tubes tied and my fiance's penis chopped off. Happy? No? Ok, throwing myself into traffic now and taking fiance down with me. Goodbye."

[@AllenTax]

@@agentzapdos4960 @Agent Zapdos Of note. To 100% stop from kids being born out of you. You need to have eggs removed. Him cutting his testicles will only greatly reduce chances. Not eliminate it. For A woman. To getting her tubes tied. Now chances are low. 4%,BUT the chances increase each year by 1% A woman can have them clamped,but outcome is same. In that it increases each year. Do to movement. Inner erosion. If not watch her channel & might have A kid some day. Watch the KZbinr Doctor Momma Jones. There are spaces in the names.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

@@raven4090 I know Owl was being sarcastic, I was just adding to the joke.

[@ttrev007]

if she calls CPS on family members then absolutely never let her near your kid.

[@user-wr3vt8uq4s]

That alone was a deal-breaker. Throwing in all the other weird neediness, this is someone you should stay away from at all costs.

[@juanhaines7295]

Story 1 I heard this one this morning. The aunt is unhinged as hell. Do whatever you gotta do to keep your baby away from her.

[@lostprincess3452]

Story 3: As someone who is studying to be an engineer, if she has her PE (professional engineering) liscence then she has to be that critical of companies and their practices. If she was forced to approve something, something went wrong, or they hid info from her to get her to approve a design it falls on her. She could be the one being held liable in court for approving these. It is a legal document. I'm not even sure if I want to get my PE someday because of how much is at stake if something goes wrong.

[@paulastiles5507]

That's a really good point. She needs to be careful because being connected to an unsafe project could damage or even prematurely end her career.

[@jedimasters1462]

Then she should actually bother to get all the information instead of just enough to do a power play and refuse them. Otherwise she'll soon find that they have begun talking to each other and not find her serious enough to consider.

[@Cel3ere5]

@@jedimasters1462 oh wow, you are not familiar with this stuff at all. As she explained to OP, "See how open they're being with me?" and its only the interview. People and companies lie on websites and paperwork all the time. People like you can't discern what's really being said. When you're a little bit crafty in interviews, they admit a lot. It's kind of hilarious to witness. She's the one assuming responsibility. She's the one who could be sued into oblivion and/or charged with manslaughter.

[@bautistalover]

@@Cel3ere5 she was crafty but when it came down to it she should’ve asked did they rectify the situation, how did they rectify it and did OSHA get involved. That’s how you show you are serious. My fathers an engineer who is a member of PE and this is stuff he talks about all the time. She may have shot herself in the foot with this last interview by not getting all the information in regards to what happened in the aftermath.

[@tomorrow4eva]

It’s like in Dilbert: if engineers get it right, no one even thinks about them. If they get it wrong, people die.

[@addicted2mako]

Story 2: So this woman sees a guy taking off his ring at the gym and doing sets and minding his own business, assumes he's going to talk to her and preemptively gets offended? Yikes!

[@michellehull7720]

Thatwayhisringisnotruined,,,,thatisarealman

[@nailahking7304]

That vodka gave her the wrong assumptions.

[@Tomboy014]

My dad used to be a hiring manager, and when he was coaching me for my interviews once I started job hunting, his advice included asking the company questions like "What's your average employee retention?". "What qualities do you look for in employees?" Questions like those were the ones that impressed him most. That's how I picked the company I currently work for when their average employee retention was 35-40 years.

[@WobblesandBean]

My family is like OP's, especially my mom. She's the type who constantly demands I sacrifice myself to appease others even if they've acted abhorrently towards me. This gets cranked up to 11 if the transgressor is a family member. OP needs to cut off ALL family members who are taking the wretched aunt's side. She's absolutely deranged, and frankly, she shouldn't be trusted around _any_ young child. ETA: JFC WHY ARE YOU ATTENDING FAMILY GATHERINGS AFTER AUNT TRIED TO GRAB YOUR BABY WITHOUT YOUR KNOWLEDGE?!

[@peterhobson3262]

My uncle once made a "joke" about my wife and I called him on it. I was told by several family members, fortunately not my parents, that I needed to apologize to uncle. I told them my apology would be along the lines of: "I'm sorry that you're such an AH that you don't know how to act in polite company. I'm sorry your parents didn't teach you better. I'm also sorry that if I ever hear you make any comments to my wife again that I'll do you serious bodily injury." Nobody ever insisted I apologize to him again.

[@marshawargo7238]

@@peterhobson3262 Bravo!

[@MaryTheresa1986]

@@peterhobson3262 Well done! Good on you for having a shiny spine and standing up for your wife.

[@typeoddnamehere2362]

I think the words you might be looking for in your ETA is 'kidnap' or 'abduction'. Don't be afraid to call it what it is. That's how these cretins get the idea that this stuff is okay.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

Amelia Bee, it sounds like your family, especially your mom either can't handle confrontation which is the best case scenario, she is an enabler for other people's bad behavior or worst case scenario, she is abusive and expects you and other hurt people to lie flat like a doormat. And I can safely assume that you're low contact or no contact with your mom because she wants you to light yourself on fire to keep bad people warm.

[@czarofscience8079]

Context, the aunt is in her 40s and already has multiple children. And she's still trying to get pregnant despite the health risks. I wouldn't let that woman anywhere near me.

[@emasters8619]

Yeah, I caught that, too. And I was wondering why she won't stand down after multiple miscarriages at her age. The niece has to go ahead and write her off. She now has an infant to protect, but I would have erased aunty from my life after the first derogatory comment about my man. Let me grow or destroy my own marriage. I don't want help from the peanut gallery.

[@Nevertoleave]

I wonder if she’s trying or religious

[@Cel3ere5]

I caught that too. I wonder if it's baby addiction?

[@paulastiles5507]

Story #2: Yay for gym owner's immediate response ending the problem right off. Also, OP's wife is a hoot, but it sounds as though he knows how lucky he is. Love the "herd of children" description. Awwww, Mark's story. Remember, kids, that filming other people at the gym without their permission is illegal and you can straight-out tell them that when they try. I'm really glad I found a gym a while ago (has the only year-round pool in the area, so it's veeeerrrry popular) that actively caters to disadvantaged and disabled members of the community. While there are some jerks here and there, fat-shaming and ableism are practically nonexistent there.

[@gabrielle4152]

When disabled, the idea of going to the gym can bring out so much anxiety. I wish I had a gym like yours near me.

[@paulastiles5507]

@@gabrielle4152 My condolences. I know exactly the kind of anxiety you're talking about. At this point in life, my attitude is "I'm here to chew bubblegum and swim, and I'm all out of bubblegum." But it still is nice to exercise in an environment where it's generally not even an issue.

[@LLynell]

Story 2: Rings not only can be uncomfortable when working out, they can also very rarely get caught in the equipment and cause severe damage to your finger. Better to be safe, even if there is an insane Lady.

[@ravenID429]

Oh I figured it was because of the sweat

[@cptfwiffo]

That last story: OP failed to realize that needs change with money. It's not so much about the more-more-more money, but about a good job. Any and all of them offer sufficient money, and she is in demand. As such, she gets to pick and choose. It is not a buyers market, where the company gets to decide who to pick up, but a sellers market, where she gets to decide where to sell her services.

[@marissabryan3521]

Yes for now , when it turn around , she will be first one got.. trades job do not like lunchroom lawyers

[@marshawargo7238]

Also, if she Takes a position Then hates it & quits, it's on her work record. Where as, figuring out Before taking the job it's not a good fit, not accepting it Doesn't get on her job history.

[@marissabryan3521]

@@marshawargo7238 ehh I would disagree I know a lot trade workers and talk ppl move around .. any trade all lunchroom lawyer are first to go when thing are good

[@jedimasters1462]

If word gets around that she applies, discovers something that she doesn't like from even years ago, no one will bother to even look at her application until finally she will never get a job in her field. It's stuff like that as to why a lot of people are still not working or having to take jobs that they feel beneath them because no other place wants them. Nor is she really getting the right information because she's actively looking for reasons to turn the company down. In this last "interview" she didn't bother to find out all the details because she only wanted a reason to walk away. If she's been doing too many of those "interviews", those guys in that field are going to talk and I wouldn't be surprised if she finds a lot are not even bothering to schedule an interview because they won't have the faith that she will actually do her job. As much as employees have the power to turn down a job, employers have the power to refuse you and could actually make it harder for you to get the job you want or believe you are entitled to. I wouldn't be surprised if her next interview she is asked if she's actually serious about the position or if she's just going to gain information to find a reason to withdraw. That's if they bother to set up an interview.

[@agentzapdos4960]

@@jedimasters1462 Yeah, you get it. It doesn't matter what job you're interviewing for, how far along in your career, or how "in demand" you are, you kiss that ass and lick that boot like your life depends on it, because if you don't, you'll die in the gutter bumming for change.

[@kaykay8855]

Story 1: From the title alone, NTA. Doesn’t matter if she miscarried, she is TA.

[@ladyv5655]

My thought was that maybe the universe knew she is not fit to be a parent.

[@jinxstheories4263]

@@ladyv5655 I'm so glad I'm not the only one to think that.

[@CensorshipVictim]

Story 1 NTA: OP needs a restraining order ASAP and prepares for the CPS visit (thanks to aunt A) OP's aunt is unhinged and needs therapy. I'm also concerned for OP's baby safety and that aunt A will try and take the baby "by any means necessary".

[@janicemoore1674]

Maybe OP should call CPS on the aunt for how unhinged she is. There is no way the aunt is not unhinged around her kids.

[@brigidtheirish]

Yeah, I mean, the aunt calls *CPS* on family members simply for not conforming to her exacting standards and she hasn't been tossed out of the family on her ear?! I wouldn't trust *anyone* in that family.

[@paulastiles5507]

Yeah, OP is still feeling bad about the family rift her Psycho Aunt is causing and not understanding that this is yet another sign that Aunt is extremely dangerous.

[@SashaSRenee]

Yeah, it almost sounds like she wants to actually steal their baby to have as her own since she is having trouble having one of her own. Also, OP isn't the one causing the rift in the family, the aunt is. The family really needs to see that the aunt's actions are really affecting multiple family members

[@KarlAndArma4ever]

@@SashaSRenee She absolutely will try to steal the baby, no questions asked. And an especially messed up thing is (and I could be misunderstanding this cuz it was just one line during the Christmas gathering) _she already has a few kids_ despite the frequent miscarriages. Her unhinged behavior is doubly unfounded.

[@clairebear-96]

Story 2 is hilarious to me but Mark I feel the same about feeling intimidated or uncomfortable at the gym haha - but I’m really trying to overcome it and start going more! I want my bf to go with me so maybe it’ll be less uncomfortable lmao Edit to add, I do feel bad for OP and that girl is awful, the vodka in the water bottle made me scream tho 😂💀

[@peterhobson3262]

Who drinks alcohol when they're exercising? Alcohol is dehydrating, which in counter-indicated for working out. So this woman is not only unpleasant, she's also mistreating her own body.

[@Regrettable-Username]

Story 1 - After how much she freaked out when they "tricked her" I'm afraid of what the aunt would do if she were left alone with the baby. Would she take it? Keep the baby *away* from that woman! Story 3 - I'm glad that OP listened to the comments and went back to his girlfriend to talk through things.

[@AngelaVEdwards]

I still think he was right about how she was approaching the inteviews. Saying that, if she saw issues in the companies, she certainly didn't have to accept the jobs. But perhaps a bit more respect on her part? I was a manager and I've NEVER had anyone interview like that. She's not the only person in the world looking for those jobs.

[@zerofate9669]

Story 1 the aunt is batshet crazy. Why the hell should a person 20 years younger have to lecture her on her behavior, attitude, and actions? She's acting like a child who never been told no and always get her way. Op is right to keep her baby away, but op and her fiance needs to keep a close eye on the baby. It wouldn't be surprising if she outright kidnaps the baby and claim she was given permission to have him or claim that's her child.

[@whitneybennett4857]

Yeah, flying into a rage is a great way to convince someone that you can be trusted with their newborn. Besides, if aunt had gotten the opportunity to spend time with the baby or something, she probably would've made a remark like, "Aw, aren't you adorable! Thank God you didn't inherit your mother's looks!"

[@lindaouellette6656]

Wait!!!! Crying and stomping around doesn’t make people throw their newborns at you? Huh…good to know😂😂😂😂😂

[@KarmikCykle]

@@lindaouellette6656 No, but it can cause some confusion on who exactly the baby in the room is.

[@nancycox204]

Story 3: Yes, PE is Licensed Professional Engineer. Part of being a Licensed PE is that you are attaching your signature to a product, and there are certain legal obligations attached to it. If she signs off on a product that turns out to be cr*p, she could be sued by the customer. You don't want to work for a company that expects you to sign off on bad products, that's a bad situation.

[@user-me7iw6ft8z]

This is not how you find a job.

[@RenaDeles]

​@@user-me7iw6ft8z source, just trust me 😂? Nah she's doing what you should actually do at interviews

[@juanhaines7295]

Story 2 I also heard this one this morning. Always press charges. That way if she does this to someone else she's on record.

[@m0n0chr0maticRainb0w]

Story 1, aunt has multiple miscarriages and calls cps on family she doesn't like? Is she trying to use the system to steal more kids from a family member? 🤔

[@LadySingingWolf]

Story 1: NTA. The aunt needs therapy and a lot of it. Story 3: YTA. Interviews are two way streets, its just as much about the company finding out about you as it is you finding out about them. There are red flags you can get in the interview process that can (and should) make you back off from a company. I had an interview that on hindsight I should have ended after the first question. The interviewer asked me if I was married or had kids before I even sat down. For those that don't know, that kind of question is HIGHLY illegal in the US. I knew this, but I was rather desperate for a job at the time since Unemployment wouldn't last long and I had rent to make. The rest of the interview was a shitshow too with them saying I was overqualified for the job just because of my MBA (recent grad at the time and no real experience in the field) and that they couldn't "pay me a Master's salary" (wtf does that even mean?). There also seemed to be no upward mobility in the position based on the reply I got when I told them I would eventually like to move up after 5 years. Needless to say they didn't select me, but that turned out to be a blessing since a few months later I was having to move out of the area to help my dad after he had a serious medical emergency. Moral of the story, if you see red flags in the interview process, listen to them. There are a lot of shit companies out there.

[@emnorfolk5559]

Who else loves Mark's "quick" stories and waffles? ❤😁

[@liabowden8526]

I’ve been assuming we *all* do. We’re his Waffle Gang for a reason, amirite? 😅😉

[@PrincessAfrica3]

I do! Timestamp was named ‘Mark waffles’ by his editor🤣

[@puli_dreadhead]

I applied to tarbucks peak virus and got denied because of my facial piercings. Now they need people due to their high turnover rate and most of their staff have facial piercings. Companies don’t care unless they take a hit that makes them change.

[@MarkNarrations]

Hey hey all, hope you've had a lovely day thus far!!

[@FriedaMMartin]

I hope you’re doing well!

[@MarkNarrations]

You too Frieda, have a great weekend!

[@FriedaMMartin]

@@MarkNarrations TGIF😊

[@IvoryDragonfly]

Story 1: I am actually worried for aunties health. This kind of behavior coupled with multiple miscarriages can be indicative of some very large problems she may not be treating. Possibly physical or psychological. Op still needs to keep boundaries, yes but it may be worth telling the grand parents something really isn’t right outside of the obvious.

[@lorifiedler13]

Did I read aunt is ~45? And she has kids. But wants more. She is very unhinged and is hoping to be able to swoop in after CPS takes a family member's kid. (As if).

[@luciferandassociates9255]

Story 3: here's my biggest issue with this. She is turning down all the jobs with good reason... But they are about to move and she doesn't have a JOB! I'm assuming OP still has a job. And he has to watch his currently unemployed partner just turn down everything, while they are about to move! People are saying she doesn't need them, Yes she does! She needs to be hired by a job or her degree is pointless. They are moving and she needs a job. Hopefully by the update she'll have found one.

[@jedimasters1462]

I doubt it because she actually doesn't want to work or believes that she's too important for any real job.

[@bautistalover]

@@jedimasters1462 exactly lack of common sense, she is in actual need, these companies aren’t trying to poach her from her job. She needs to be discerning but careful at the same time as to not burn bridges.

[@cb9825]

Why the aunt is so obsessed with getting to OP's baby?🙄she doesn't even like the baby's parents.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

Probably because she doesn't have a baby of her own and wants one so badly, that she will do anything to get her hands on one. Even if that means calling CPS on other family members who have children of their own. Someone that unhinged shouldn't be allowed to even be around children, much less have children of their own. They just shouldn't.

[@brigidtheirish]

@@PrincessQ-fj9ly Yeah, sounds like she's not willing to openly admit that she *can't* carry a baby to term, but is close enough to consciously aware of it that she's trying to semi-legally snatch everyone else's kids. What's *worse* is that a significant portion of the family *supports her.*

[@jenniferfoote5442]

@@PrincessQ-fj9ly in the post OP indicates crazy Aunt has children so it just makes it even more insane she makes false CPS reports..i think you're right that because of her miscarriages she is turning all her despair about it on her niece and is jealous and angry at her for being able to have a baby and probably thinks they should let her have their baby because she deserves it..i sympathize totally with inability to conceive but it's not like she is childless I just don't understand people who behave like the way she is..its cray cray Lol

[@cb9825]

@@brigidtheirish It was mentioned that the aunt already has kids, it's not like she is completely childless.😧

[@madgevanness4011]

Does CPS have a list of serial inaccurate reporters?

[@AndyyWithAY]

It is possible, but after 40 chances of pregnancy drastically decrease and chances of birth defects and illnesses increase. So it's unlikely aunt will get pregnant at this point. She needs to make peace with that and seek therapy. She's behaving like this because she is very jealous. There's many ways to be a parent, but I wouldn't recommend any of those to her because based on her behavior she'd be a terrible and selfish mother. Definitely not a safe adult.

[@EmmaB843]

Story 3: OPs girlfriend is actually being very professional retracting her applications, shes trying to find the perfect fit for a long term job. Itd look worse if she bounced around in her field, itd look worse on her than the conpanies she left. Plus non competes or penalties for breaking her contract could be an issue, especially as an engineer, last thing shed want is to leave 6 months in and then have a 3 month non compete or pay out a decent chunk of her salary

[@arithefierysecretary6411]

Story 1: frankly the aunt sounds SO unhinged, I'd be worried she would come to OP's house and kidnap the baby. 2/3 kidnappings are done by a family member, if I remember the statistic right.

[@nailahking7304]

Wow, the woman in Story 2 and her audacity. The fact she just assumed he was even remotely interested in her makes me think she was scoping him out. And vodka in the Yeti, she’s for sure an alcoholic and danger to everyone.

[@standinthegsp6858]

It may depend on the questions she’s asking. There are questions an interviewee SHOULD ask. Things like opportunities for promotion, salary questions, etc... it may also depend on the industry

[@fishstyx5945]

Op's attitude in story 3 is how people get roped into dangerous situations in the workplace. In my entry electrical class in highschool we watched a video where a kid working at this factory was convinced to crawl under some machinery to clean it. They didn't properly tag out and he was crushed and killed. Advocate for yourselves. Don't give your life for a company that doesn't care about you.

[@goawayleavemealone2880]

It is a fine balance, though, you shouldn't work for a company that doesn't value you and will endanger you. This is obvious. But the idea that they need you more than you need them is kind of ridiculous, since it's only true up to a certain point. If she does this to enough companies in her industry, then they will eventually blacklist her. Because the reality is no matter how good she thinks she is, her value is finite. The company's value is considerably less so.

[@truthseeker9249]

@@goawayleavemealone2880 I'm so glad somebody said this. I thought I was the only one who felt this way.

[@bautistalover]

@@goawayleavemealone2880 exactly she needs these jobs as much as they need her. She’s looking for a new job because she’s moving. They aren’t trying to poach her so she needs to remember that before she backs herself into a corner.

[@j_hi]

Job hunting is like being on tinder, you absolutely do not have to marry the first person that matches with you. Know your worth.

[@louisejohnson6057]

My sister works in CPS in Canada, and in our province, having a messy house isn't even on the radar. Having young children, especially as a single parent, is very time consuming. No decent social worker is going to care if you haven't washed the dishes yet, or if you've put the laundry away yet, or if you haven't vacuumed in a few days. Is there enough food so the kids being fed regularly, are they being bathed at least once a week. Must haves; running water, a functional toilet, no human or animal feces in inappropriate places(not in litter box or toilet), broken windows(safety from break-ins, no glass on ground), no banned people around the children. CPS would rather that you're reading to your kid's, or listening to them reading to you, or playing games, etc, than having you make sure that all the dishes are done right after supper. Unfortunately not all provinces or states have the same set of rules for CPS, but the couple in the story shouldn't have any problems regarding this. The social worker would be able to suss out that the only problem that they could see was "Auntie Dearest".

[@ChangedWinds]

Story 2: must have been in the US. As a woman who loves the gym, in disgusted when women who hate the gym and solely go to assault, harass, badger, defame or whatever at a gym. There has been a recent up tick in viral videos of women faking "gross stranger looks at my body part" moments.

[@lucialovecraft]

This is just a thought on the first story but it sounds like the aunt might try and take the child. Keep very, very FAR away from people like this. They’re unhinged and unpredictable

[@christinesinclair6938]

Story 1: NTA OP needs to go and stay completely NC with the aunt. That update confirms she is not someone to want to be around. PERIOD. Story 2: He didn't FU. She was just judgemental. Glad OP's wife (and other commenters) helped him with dealing with entitled brat. Story 3: OP was TA and it's good that he got over himself and apologized.

[@linnja1]

Story2: I actually go to gym about 4-5 times a week and I wear a silicone ring. I bought one of the Disney Star Wars ring to match with my lady. However the weights ended up tearing it up and now you can’t even see the patterns in it 😢 I ordered new ones and now I just take them off when working out and always feel weird about it.

[@Cel3ere5]

Could you wear it on a necklace?

[@linnja1]

@@Cel3ere5 I definitely could, I don’t own any necklaces and would have to do that weird biting the necklace thing during most of my compound lifts to keep it from swinging around and catching. I thought about getting a chain to wear it on but I live in a pretty bad area and have seen people get robbed for shoes and chains enough to want to avoid that (I dress like I am homeless and people leave me alone), so the chain is out as well. We are planning on going to get tattoos on our ring fingers later on this year, that will be the solution. Lucky for me the wife was a personal trainer and went to school for exercise science so she understands the gym thing completely.

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

Story 3 They do say an interview goes both ways. Sounds like she knows what she’s doing.

[@jasminer5286]

As someone in business and recruiting, the gf WAS interviewing correctly. At a certain point in people’s careers, you become the product and you get to decide if that’s a company of value to you. If it’s not a good fit, I’d much rather be told right away. I have more respect for that than someone leaving a week into a new job.

[@katiecakesl4691]

Story 1: I genuinely think aunt is having some psychological issues likely triggered by her miscarriages and needs someone in her life to set her up with a psychologist. Grief and trauma are powerful things and if people let them take over it can be hard to come back from.

[@pearbear6418]

Story 1: NTA. The way she comments on OP and her partner being unfit parents and the CPS calls make it sound like she's acting out of resentment because of the miscarriages. I wouldn't want her around my child either when she seems that unstable.

[@DaWhiteWolffie]

That aunt sounds dangerously psychotic. I hope they and their baby stay safe and far away from her. Someone should call CPS just to check on that own woman's children.

[@PeterShipley1]

"new girl" knows everybody wants her, or so she assumes. I bet she recorded the video to use as evidence if anybody talks or flirt with

[@nadirimyers6643]

That woman would never even see a picture of my child. She calling cps on ppl for not agreeing with her. That alone she would never see me or my child

[@Wander85942]

Nothing wrong with living in a camper. My godbrother runs a farm and has tenants who live in tiny homes or campers. It gives them a lot of freedom

[@user-wh5fj6pj6m]

I would imagine that it would be easy to move around as well

[@Russman67]

Story 3: Interview your employers. I learned that early in my career. First off, you avoid walking into shit shows blindly. Second, it shows the new employer that you have an understanding of what the job entails.

[@luciferandassociates9255]

Story 2: Why do people keep saying to look into different wedding bands when you can just take the bloody thing off. This is just a case of Crazy people in my business not a case of get different ring.

[@AndyyWithAY]

Story 2 some men at the gym see it as open season and women are well within their rights to go off on men who hit on them when they're just trying to get their exercise in. But, this heifer here made me sick. OP's wife is probably banging and puts her to shame and he was not checking for her at. He was minding his own business. She is a harasser and he needs to report her. People have reasons to take off their wedding ring, that has nothing to do with her. He didn't even approach her.

[@ShaunCushley97]

Yeah, that one really annoyed me. Like you said, some blokes can be creeps (especially in the gym I imagine), but she must have a really high opinion of herself if her first assumption was that he was going to try chatting her up. How bloody arrogant can you get?

[@Rose-yt5hi]

I would’ve metaphorically slapped her ass with an assault charge. Wtf. What a delusional and violent nitwit.

[@TsukiKageTora]

Honestly, I think it’s better just to film and report it to the gym instead of blasting it on social media right away or confronting them. Because the fact of the matter is, you don’t know the person and they could be strong or mentally unstable and could harm you. If the place doesn’t do anything (record as well) and post it online as a “this is what happened to me and this gym didn’t do anything even with evidence.” I used gender neutral terms too because it isn’t just men who are the SH-ers and it isn’t just women who are the victims. I’ve been at the gym where some men are physically touched by some women and some of the men looked like they weren’t ok with it but kept quiet and dealt with it or just left. In all honesty, we all should speak up if we see this at the gym. Toxicity like that doesn’t belong in a place where people are trying to better themselves

[@shizanketsuga8696]

I can see where story 3 OP is coming from - that attitude where the interviewee is seen as supplicant rather than a partner on eye-level is all too common - but he is perpetuating harmful nonsense by trying to push his gf in that direction. It's good that he was reasonable enough to understand he was wrong.

[@deusdamnit]

Story 3. I live in a red state; COVID really hit us hard (we made national news for our militant antimasking campaign... yeah, it's a bad place to be). Without a college degree or some kind of certification, the most we can hope for is factory/warehouse work, retail, customer service, or restaurant work. My state saw a very impressive increase in wages around 6 months into COVID. Restaurants went from $8-10/hr to $14-15 almost overnight, because nobody was following COVID protocol, and it either left businesses empty because of sick employees, or because employees quit because they refused to work and get sick. Call centers (which actually have worse attrition than fast food places and similar "fast-paced" environments) effectively went into a bidding war, raising wages from $13/hr in 2019 to $20 in a span of about 6 months. They couldn't afford to lose people. In the U.S., the federal minimum wage is $7.25, and that hasn't changed since 2009. So, looking at these numbers, you can probably understand that our wages didn't just jump. They skyrocketed. Now, you might be wondering why I'm going into all of this. Well, there are two important reasons. The first is that you need to understand how big of a change this amount of money was for us, and that it only happened because people started being selective because COVID forced our hand. Secondly, where I'm from, you're taught that you're a product to businesses. When you apply for a job, you're like a carton of milk. Your competition are all the other brands on the market. So, when you go to a company, you're not making a mutual decision to work together, you're showing that you're the most desirable product they can buy. And you're willing to be bought. OP's mindset is very similar. It sounds like he was raised to believe that he needed to present positively, and be willing to accept what any employer would offer, without really having any agency for himself. The fact is, my state still suffers from this mindset, even despite the major wage increases, because our mindset didn't change. The only reason we stopped taking jobs below those wages was because it was impossible to earn enough to live here. Rent went up over 40% on average. Personally, I went from paying $1100 to rent a 2br/2ba house (an apartment of the same value would've cost $1400-2300 depending on location and extra fees added on by management), to paying $1500 for the same space. We were given a month's notice, at the end of our lease. That was at the beginning of COVID; prices have normalized a bit, but at one point we were the most expensive state to live relative to our wages, and that stayed up around the top 3 for nearly a year. Employers complain that "nobody wants to work", and outside of the younger generation of millennials and the budding gen z workforce, everyone else complains about people not working enough because we're all lazy. This mindset is a cancer, and it has been perpetuated to the point that we literally can't kill it. It makes me sad that all the momentum of the Great Resignation has boiled down to what is now essentially just isolated pockets of young people quitting over TikTok. For about 6 montths, employers were justifiably scared of us, and somehow everyone forgot about it.

[@HackiePuffs]

Why is it always up to the person who’s being hurt to keep the peace and not the person causing the problem??

[@savageinkstudios2969]

1- NTA at all. I just had a LO myself and theres a serious list of no baby goers for the similar types of reasons. You do whats best for your kid regardless of whose feelings it hurts. 3- job interviews ARE a two way interview. You decide if you want to work with them as much as they decide if they want to work with you.

[@sammieg8641]

So creepy how focused she is on the baby

[@emcustard]

Story 2: It's just plain not safe to wear ANY rings while weightlifting, rock climbing, or doing anything with heavy equipment. That woman is self-obsessed and lacking common sense.

[@KE-hr4sb]

S1: NTA. I'm a firm believer in NOT "keeping the peace," because that usually means that one, entitled family member boundary stomps and gets away with it because the rest of the family enables it. Tell cousin when she has her own child, she is allowed to dictate who can and can't see the baby as she sees fit and if she wants to allow Aunt A around, that's her prerogative, and you will respect her decision. But she needs to respect YOUR decision with your child. Also, that aunt immediately "flew into a rage" when told no would further cement that she is nowhere around my NEWBORN with that hair-trigger temper.

[@kbf9644]

The Aunt is unbalanced and irrational. OP would be an AH and a shite parent is she allows her contact to her child. Her family is so far in the fog of humoring her that they’re arguing you should let an unbalanced person have access to your child to make the unbalanced person shut up. Really?!

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

My thoughts exactly! People need to learn that trying to keep the peace with an absolute dumpster fire is NEVER going to happen! And even if it does happen, it won't last long.

[@kbf9644]

@@PrincessQ-fj9ly And at the very least you’re going to get singed in the process. Too much and they’ll ignite your entire life.

[@albertgongora6944]

I'm not going to lie on that second story because of stuff like that that's exactly why I have that fear of going to the gym now because I just hate that people try to find any little excuse to turn you into a victim instead of leaving you there to do your thing and don't give me wrong I understand there is a such thing as gym creeps but that doesn't mean every guy or girl coming to the gym is trying to creep on you

[@rylashadow18]

S1) Sounds like family needs to be told that either Aunt is kept away from you and the baby or they can join her in being in the no contact zone. What she's doing is completely unhinged just because she has entitlement issues. Also say while you'll respect your grandparents rights to invite who they want into their home, going forward you'll treat any and all family gatherings as if she is there and therefore baby will stay with someone you trust/ your SO/ Your SO's family. If OP has documentation from the other family members she's done this to I'd take that, have records of her actions, any emails, voice mails as well as any type of message and go to a lawyer. Fire off a protection order, no contact order and a cease and desist letter. Finally security camera, dash camera's and security set in for when the little one gets old enough. Schools, daycares and anyone watching after the littly need to be aware that this person with pic and paperwork isn't allow within a hairs breath of the little one. S2) Talk about toxic people. I'm glad the OP talked to the people in charge. Things like this give us real ladies a bad name. S3) Yes you suck. She needs to ensure she's geting a fair deal as well as going to be treated equally. Some companies will change your agreement as long as it's not in writting. She's making sure she's getting the bang for her buck and you want to critic her on wanting the best from her career. Honestly that'd make me re-think staying in a relationship with someone like you. If you feel she's not worth much when it comes to her job how do you think this reflects on your relationship?

[@jessical4866]

Oh my lord, it sounds like Auntie wants the baby for herself. If she thinks she can be a better parent and is more “deserving” of a baby than OP is, who knows what she might do.

[@RandomTrinidadian]

Story 1: If the "Family" wants OP to keep the peace, then the best way to do that is to cut all of them off and move far away with her fiance and new born. In that way, she and her new family with have peace, while the rejects can have all the free time they need to coddle Aunt

[@goldensentinel7715]

Story 2: That girl's bold to assume every man thinks she's hot enough to cheat with.

[@k3upikachu]

Story 3 edit: I'm glad he came around!! I hope they continue to communicate and have a happy relationship ☺️ The boyfriend who's criticizing his girlfriend's interview style is so dumb lol. I'm 31 and at a point in my career where people message me on LinkedIn all the time asking if I'm looking for a new job, so I have the ability to be picky. I've approached my interviews the same way, because I know what I'm doing and what I'm looking for, and it always impresses the interviewers. Treating an interview as a two-way street and making the company prove why they're a good place to work will never hurt as long as you have the qualifications to back it up, and it sounds like she does. Dude is an idiot lol Also, she's encouraging these companies to make changes by telling them why she's withdrawing her applications, which helps the employees, and by making them work to win her over, she's going to end up with a higher salary. I was in the final stages of the interview process with several companies, and made it clear that I was considering other options, and ended up with better benefits, a signing bonus, and a higher salary. Show your worth and your standards when interviewing and you'll end up much happier at your next job.

[@KG-VanityInKnickers]

I at the stage of retirement and have seen changes in just the last 5 years of younger people not taking the status quo and going for what they believe they're worth (in money AND working conditions) and I find I get excited for them! The 70's and 80's gave so much power to the companies that they have held for DECADES, squeezing every last drop out of employees, that it's great to finally see the tables being turned!

[@bautistalover]

Yeah but that’s the difference between you and her…you are being approached they are trying to poach you because they need you. She’s looking for work which means she needs them as much as they need her.

[@rpurdy4821]

The gym story: Her attack may have been verbal, but then she dumped her drink on you. That's actually considered to be an assault. You could have pressed charges for that. That chick seems unglued.

[@toshi9742]

Story 1: I have a feeling that the Aunt sees their baby as *HER* baby. I hope Op goes no contact because Aunt will never stop.

[@LetholdusKaspyr]

Story 3: I mean, she's not wrong in principle, but at the same time, it sounds like she's a lot more aggressive and judgmental than is actually fair.

[@videofan1010]

I'm so glad the woman from the gym from the second story got in trouble.

[@Artemis_-yy1nt]

Urgh that "trend" to set up a camera to "catch perverts" often fails so bad. It's normal to glance around. So yes, maybe you were in my line of sight for a moment. It's also normal that you look at a camera a few seconds longer, because it's out of the ordinary. That's not being a pervert. And these girls just interpret every normal look as that. THAT is disgusting behaviour. Not the looks.

[@awdrifter3394]

Story 2, the perma ban is well deserved. If she just yelled and walked away, I can see letting it go. But pouring any liquid on another random stranger is not acceptable, she could've surprised OP and caused him injury.

[@lorifiedler13]

Not just liquid. Vodka. Yuck.

[@Bluetree0502]

Story 3: She is doing things right. On top of the aforementioned topics, as a woman in a male-dominated field, it’s critical to do a deep dive into the company culture. Many things can be said informally that indicate if a company culture is toxic or misogynistic. As a woman who has worked in male-dominated fields my entire life (auto racing, mechanics) there are things that you learn to pick up just by hearing some “funny stories”.

[@bautistalover]

As a woman in a male dominated field she has to be careful how she comes across and it would behoove her to get the whole story before just writing off a company. How companies handle situations are just as important as being incident free.

[@KarmikCykle]

"Do most people drink at the gym?" Only the ones who yell at strangers for not hitting on them.

[@maddy8328]

Story 1. I sadly doubt that CSP will do anything if OP called to alert them of her bogus calls.

[@Cel3ere5]

Correct lol commenters are morons. They should be attorney shopping. Whole family should be pooling for one to get their records expunged.

[@Loaves_of_Cat]

Story 1: Op should ask her family that’s against her to give her one good reason why she should let her aunt near the baby besides “family” because that’s not a reason, that’s emotional blackmail

[@paranoiarpincess]

Whenever my partner and I watch your videos together and you say "you cheeky so 'n so" I look at him and say "I'm a cheeky so and so" with a proud smug smirk on my face. ^-^♡

[@TsukiKageTora]

I think the aunt wanted the baby since she is so willing to make up lies about OP and fiancé of being terrible parents and her track record of making bogus CPS reports. My thought is she wants CPS to take the baby away and intrust it to her to be the mom as she suffered miscarriages (which might have been due to the stress she put herself through over someone else’s life and lifestyle)

[@YourShadowKeeper]

I have a loved one who is at the top of their field, and they have a phenomenal reputation. Because of this, they have been head-hunted constantly throughout the years by bigger and better organisations, and when they have chosen to apply for a better or different position elsewhere they don't have to grovel or take the first thing that's offered. They negotiate for higher pay and better benefits as part of their employment contract and haven't once been turned down for what they've requested. Being the top of your field, having a great reputation, and being charismatic, though clear and firm in interviews goes a long way.

[@selinesbeau]

Once you know someone has a history of false reports to cps, you know they're a threat to your child. You cannot tolerate threats to your children. You stay away from them and protect your kids.

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

I got a 94 on my final today so yay all done

[@MarkNarrations]

That's what I'm talking about! Good job Broken and now relax :)

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

@@MarkNarrations thanks 💜💜🤗🤗

[@mogulmade]

Congratulations! Enjoy your weekend and celebrate a bit!

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

@@mogulmade thanks I will 💜💜🤗🤗

[@beckyhartley9502]

Story 2: I'm honestly sick of women pulling this crap in gyms, the camera set up isn't usually for "work out videos" but orchestrated videos where they're allegedly being 'victimised'. Also who gave her permission to record in a gym around other people?

[@dianaphillips8038]

Story 2, not all married men wear wedding rings.

[@maddy8328]

Story 2. She's insane. You took off your ring for a practical reason. She also assaulted you.

[@jaycehoward2771]

Problem I have with the interview deal. On the last one he overheard about the barge incident how did she know that this didn't happen15 years ago and caused the rules and safety protocol to change? How did she know that the company wasn't at fault but the two workers? How did she know anything because she heard the story and rushed off the phone. So I don't think she is wrong for how she interviews but I also feel like the OP kind of has a point because that sure seems like dragging her feet a little to me. Also I bet that company tells the interview people to never tell anymore stories like that lol.

[@SwirlyPinwheel]

"Which was also a shock to hear TBH, that a bunch of well regarded companies are apparently sketchy as hell behind closed doors." Bless your sweet little heart, OP.

[@LaineyBug2020]

Story 1- OP needs to realize and assert that Auntie A is the one driving a wedge through the family, not herself! It didn't even start with her! There's a whole support group of bridges Auntie A has burned!

[@leaflet1686]

Story 2: I am worried about why the girl is like this... I was an extremely outgoing girl back than and hugged everyone with no thoughts behind it, no matter the gender, race or whatever else. Always friends with anyone. Now I am not anymore... Guys get the cold shoulder or a scowl, just to keep them away and, we have a issue with refugees from africa in my country and the men are sadly exactly as my dad always warned me about... So now I keep a huge distance from those guys. I really wonder what she experienced. She over did it of course she did!

[@Xokoy]

Story 3: It takes some time to get to a point where you can throw your weight around like OP's girlfriend and really get away with it. In an entry level job, you can't afford to really do that kind of thing and you do need to suck it up to get your foot in the door to a lot of industries. Once you're established though, that's when you can start grilling potential employers. So, yeah, OP may have taken the comments in a bit of the wrong way depending on their level and field of employment.

[@bautistalover]

They sound young so she most likely hasn’t been in the field long enough to throw her weight around like that yet. Unless she was top of her class and has some stellar things under her belt no one has that pull this early on. That kind of pull is gained through time and experience.

[@novabrilliant4510]

The gym story makes me glad I work out at home! Good form is important so you get the desired results and avoid injury. I do like hearing stories about kind gym people helping others out. Waffle on, Mark!

[@levimorne]

Story Two: "Are you planning to chat me up!? You're disgusting!" I... I am literally just lifting weights, you came up to me lady.

[@samoanjoseph1457]

Story 2: "How dare you take off your ring and hit on me!" "By totally ignoring you???"

[@oliviaksiag6163]

I just find it hilarious that the woman had Vodka in her bottle, apparently she gets vain and self righteous when she gets drunk.

[@Davtwan]

Aunt is someone who has never been told “no” until she’s 44.

[@hardtogetnamehere]

As an auntie who LOVES her niece, and absolutely does not like her deadbeat BF/baby daddy, I’m never mean to him and don’t talk crap about him to her. Their baby is very loved by me, even thought I can’t stand him.

[@cricket78065]

Me and my husband do auto mechanics. My ring got stuck once and that was all the motivation we needed to get tattooed rings. I love it!

[@FoolMisinfo]

For story 2: It's almost common sense for people to take off their rings when doing anything productive really, even when showering or chores it's required for many reasons. Sweat can wear the ring's quality off, chemicals that come in contact with it too and overall because of them it can end up sticking to your hand- It's also common sense with ANY jewelry, rings are no exceptions.