“i'm scared of dying alone.” dude, stop waiting for someone to save you. | Love & Relationships GRWM

[@hanjindigo]

y'all want a man? i just want kaiti's awesome peach pen 😭😭

[@KaitiYoo]

true icons know the real prize

[@jheelgupta8374]

WELL CAN'T HAVE A MAN SO LAYING MY *VERY PURE* EYES ON THE PEN NOW

[@hanjindigo]

@@jheelgupta8374 GIRL SHUSH YOU'RE STUNNING OF COURSE YOU CAN

[@voidkao1720]

here for the Han prof pic lol

[@hanjindigo]

@@voidkao1720 he’s my ult so i am required by law to put his face everywhere i can on my phone lmao🥰

[@AW-xc1xc]

"You gotta F up to level up" My perfectionistic self needed to hear that. Don't be afraid to do things you might fail at. Anything is better than nothing. If you do things you feel are impossible (even if you fail at them) you will gradually learn you can actually do them, it re-wires your brain!

[@KaitiYoo]

Exactly. It's a scary thing to embark on, but once you put one foot forward, the path begins to reveal itself! YOU GOT THIS.

[@Winggggz]

I could literally sit down and listen to kaiti talk all day

[@araverse]

Totally

[@KaitiYoo]

THIS IS SUCH AN HONOR.

[@hikaruyee3256]

Same I loved this video

[@sumanya_]

Girl seriously this video opened my eyes I just realized I often tend to associate my self worth with other ppl's perception and if there perception is something negative I feel as if something's wrong with me... this has been happening with me since a long time and has brought my self esteem extremely down I'm so fuckin grateful that dis video showed up in my feed !!!thankyou so much!!!

[@KaitiYoo]

So proud of you for coming to this realization! It takes a lot of maturity and self-awareness to do so. :)

[@KaitiYoo]

Let's talk about love, baby!!!! Happy belated Valentine's Day! In this lovey-dovey GRWM, I share my definition of love but I'm curious... How do you all define love?

[@taeefann]

love is when you're confident in yourself independently but still choose to be vulnerable to some level with other people. iv'e never been in a relationship, but i would say that i love my friends and this is how i'd define it. Also, Kaiti if you're reading this I love your channel so much!

[@Lillyjanelavender]

Love is seeing and understanding the deepest and darkest layers of a person, and choosing that despite all of the bad things, you want them in your life anyway. It’s also accepting that you’ll never know everything about a person, but deciding that’s okay. It’s knowing that your life would be darker, sadder, more boring, and less enjoyable without this person in it. And self love is really the same. Loving someone is thinking of them (not obsessively), and wishing they were with you. Love is hard, and it’s not always pretty, it’s conversations that stretch for hours, and long moments of comfortable silence. Perhaps most importantly, it’s the freedom to be yourself, because you know they’ll love you for it, just like you love them.

[@sophiayuna]

Kaiti! what are some books you recommend?

[@ashley.g]

My definition of love is a cycle of choice and reflex. Choice is what I have heard a lot about in Christian circles. Choosing to love, being committed to see the good in someone and work things out, etc. It's about one's determination to love someone well, not the other's lovableness. It's selfless and steady. Reflex love bases itself in our inherent self-love. Not the emotion-centered self-love that is appreciation of self. This is the self-love that can co-exist with emotional self-hate. It is a desire to do what we feel is best for ourselves (regardless of if we want to want that or not). So from that, we have reflex love for others. We want the time and energy we've spent to have been worthwhile and so we become willing to invest more to make what we've already invested worth it, and that fosters an attachment to the other person. We see this all the time in movies and shows. Two people get stranded together and "fall in love" after spending hours helping each other and learning about the other -- they didn't choose to fall in love, they reflexed into a half love. After that, they have to choose if they really want to commit to loving that person in order for it to become real love. Some people have choice first and then have reflex from time together, and some, like in the example above, have reflex and then choice. It's a cycle and it doesn't matter where one starts as long as they keep choosing to make room for times to reflex because that keeps the cycle going. But this definition does leave room for times when the cycle should be stopped or avoided. Both choice and reflex can be beautiful or harmful. This applies to romantic love and platonic love.

[@mailviper]

I love your buttery thighs? How do you keep them looking so soft and glowing. Also please make a video on panty series. What to wear when

[@emmaguz3360]

Only kaiti could put a meme in a serious conversation.

[@KaitiYoo]

BSHSHSHSHJSHS ily

[@kateblake3998]

From a strong and fiercely independent woman, I think the internal battle of yearning for a relationship and knowing that the timing is not right is one of the toughest things. Breaking your own heart so you can heal. Solo adventures, however small or large, are the most rewarding bc you break your own expectations. Thanks for being there on a quiet Sunday afternoon Katii!

[@ForeverFashionGirl21]

Yes to this

[@sincerelyabu]

As a obsessive perfectionist, I needed to hear this. You can’t expect someone to memorize the lines for a script they don’t know. DAMN.

[@yougotabigstormcomin9901]

I‘ll always appreciate how much effort you put into your videos-they‘re all informative with quotes from books along with your personal insight on the theme that the video is about. Thank you for uploading quality content every week and keep up the good work! 😊

[@KaitiYoo]

This means so much to me and truly makes allll the prep worth it. Thank you!!!!!

[@AmandaMaria]

I think the girls from Aquamarine said it best when they said love is the closest thing we have to magic

[@annabella3755]

I feel so behind in dating but want to start putting myself out there soon...this video is so perfectly timed. Also. If you guys are reading this comment, the book 'how not to die alone' is actually so good and helped me feel a lot more comfortable!!! 10/10 highly recommend

[@KaitiYoo]

That’s on my to-read list!!! Ali Abdaal talks about it alll the timeeee

[@araverse]

I've had different perspective of love and friendship at different phases of my life. And it's changed a lot. I totally get what you're sharing. Love for you, always ❤️

[@KaitiYoo]

Totally agree. Sending you so much love!!!!

[@ZosiaDabrowski]

I am forever in the relationship yearning camp, but my past year was a really shit one but I went through a few experiences and self development that helped me leave behind some of the maladaptive aspects of my insecure attachment style. Some realisations: I can't convince someone to love me if they're not ready to, no matter how good of a partner I could be I want to be wanted, not needed. And now that I've finally started my career and am feeling fulfilled through my work for the first time, and since I've had these realisations and more, I'm like ok yeah I still deeply want a life partner and family, but I don't need them as much as I used to. And that's the kind of balanced and mature situation in life that is best placed to be able to freely and wholeheartedly join with another, when said person comes along. Like in so many different situations, in order to find something you first need to let it go

[@khalilahd.]

My favorite internet therapist ☺️❤️ you always give me the kick in the ash I need And not you doing a background check on the cleanser for us 😂💜 love you Kaiti

[@KaitiYoo]

Hehehe, another successful therapy session in the books! Thank you so much, Khalilahhhh

[@ummmopps7626]

6:30 yeah, it's an amazing metaphor!!

[@adress13]

When you described mourning for your single self was so real for me right now. I miss being happy in my singleness. Right now I'm definitely vying to be with someone again.

[@hannahvllstr657]

Thank you Kaiti, this was exactly what I needed to hear. I have never been in a relationship before and I met a guy at uni, who is the first person I could see myself with. This video motivates me to put myself out there more and shoot my shot, even though I'm nervous about being rejected or realizing he is not the one for me💕

[@KaitiYoo]

YASSS BESTIEEEEEEEEEEEEE

[@zoeunlimited]

Such a refreshing video on the topic of love!! THE METAPHORS ARE FIRE 🔥

[@mfaith3129]

As someone who’s never been in a relationship this is very insightful and helpful with how I should look into relationships in the future Thank you!

[@yourfriendlyharp22]

i really needed to hear this as someone who is relationship yearning but also scared of commitment this spoke to me on a whole other level

[@leiaabiador7409]

10:08 had me cracking upppppp! I am definitely failing the class of 'fully healed' when in reality, 'fully healed' does not exist. we're always changing, always growing and as we do so, more trauma and pain within our lives unravels. and yet we continue to live, love, laugh lololol. quite a journey life is :)

[@michaelaforbes6801]

Thank you so much for this video. I’ve struggled with rejection in the past and I connected it with my self worth. It stopped me from being confident and taking risks. I’m on a self love journey now and I liked that you said that you don’t have to be 100% healed to be in a relationship but also shouldn’t put your insecurities on another person. There’s this guy in my class that I’m interested in, I’m scared of rejection but I’m not going to let that stop me and I’m praying about it. Wish me luck 😊

[@karinamak7368]

the only KZbinr I will go on the computer for to watch on full screen 🥰

[@KaitiYoo]

OMG, I am so flattered hehehehe

[@arelysjournal]

* saves to life advice playlist * thank you kaiti for this really insightful and comforting video 💜 i love the way you talk about things hehe

[@KaitiYoo]

omg such an honor to placed in the life advice playlist. *cue award speech voice* i would like to thank everyone who got me to this point. this journey would not have been possible without you.

[@bookish4415]

I have a self improvement playlist, and I saved it too

[@EVELYN-eu9iw]

Gosh you just made me realise I should talk to my therapist about my fear of commitment, thanks Kaiti, this video feels like a big sister Ted talk and I love it

[@andreina3251]

Dude, this felt like I was on facetime with you seriously 😖 I needed to hear ALL THAT honestly thank you ma’am.

[@annikakamath]

I needed this today....I just brk up with my boyfriend and this really helped boost my mood 💖💝

[@KaitiYoo]

Oh, sending you a full, big, warm hug. I know it hurts so bad right now but you WILL heal from this. Be gracious to yourself as you grieve, process, and eventually bounce back even stronger!!!

[@annikakamath]

@@KaitiYoo aww thank you so much!! It felt like the right desicion and hopefully things get better

[@esPeSkull12]

You know, what I learned from relationships when it comes to loving yourself is this: "If someone else is capable of loving me then why can't I?" This is not to say that you should become dependent on them for validation, but that sometimes we get so stuck in our own heads hating ourselves that we don't see the strengths that the people that love us see in us. In hating ourselves, we think others do the same when it's not. It's best to focus on the things that make us happy, and foster a positive mindset where we can have space to care and love others.

[@naomijacob7177]

This video was sooooo needed for me rn (as I am currently dealiing with a relational situation) and i felt SO encouraged by it as well

[@lydiagan]

hi Kaiti, recently got recommended your channel and im honestly so glad to be discovering new asian and POC creators! thank u for being vulnerable and sharing about your experiences, I feel like I really relate to them. I'd love to hear more about your rship with spirituality & christianity (im also a christian) and how you use your faith to navigate the world? I feel like it's hard to speak up act sometimes even though for most of us it is a main driver in our lives. loved this vid!

[@raraavirav]

I need an 1 hour session of kaiti giving me therapy like this

[@terena_world]

honestly this is such an intimate tell-all about love

[@joanjm3342]

Free therapy✨ just listening to you talk makes my day better

[@charlotteb6450]

lmao the 'relationship avoidance' and 'yearning' sides literally described me and my ex respectively PERFECTLY

[@elleysm]

along with the good advice per usual, ty for sharing how you go to God for clarity! as an Asian-American Christian myself whose pipe dream it was to be in the film space, i'm so glad to see you on YT. you're a gem! i'll keep rooting for you in your senior year & what's to come 😊

[@anja.e1101]

A hundred percent agree with praying/asking God for guidance in the relationship you’re in. Great points, thanks so much for sharing! 💕

[@navyakommu1102]

i feel like we’re just besties havin a conversation whenever i watch ur vids ❤️ thanks for this :)))

[@chhavi7017]

I genuinely love how you quote from books you read. I'm so in awe of you and your reading habits. Also, when you pass the lessons along, it really really helps. ❤️❤️

[@valerieobehi7107]

Like how did Kaiti become my everything

[@vivi-bq8xc]

im literally just a teenager so i've never been in a romantic relationship but as for my platonic relationships... i had this amazing, amazing, amazing friend. we used to talk to each other about everything and anything, and i guess the only way to put it in short was that we really understood one another. when we started drifting apart, i was really upset, because i thought she was literally my platonic soulmate, like the person i wake up every day for. and i mean its been like eight months since we stopped being what we used to be, and i'm kinda still not over it. i have grown, my thought process has changed from blaming her, to myself, to the conditions. i saw people saying 'you can't love someone else unless you love yourself' and i thought, 'well, what if you need someone else to be that crutch to help you love yourself? that statement is not very universal'. now, kaiti, i realise that... being overly dependent on someone is not exactly healthy. my self worth shouldn't belong to someone else. thank you.

[@clarissaleung26]

Love that she’s doing videos like this :)

[@marcelinevanmeter3173]

girl I get you, I find it really hard to feel good about myself when my face has acne but we're here for you so don't stress about it

[@gabrielaconti5664]

ufff thank you for reminder queen! No one is coming to save you. You are exactly what *you* need :)

[@nicoler3758]

“you gotta eff up to level up” great video Kaiti! So many good books, authors and quotes to circle back to. I can relate with the overly analytical mindset and have been doing the work in therapy to be more mentally flexible. Fighting!! BetterHelp has been awesome and I totally used your code, ty!! 💕 PS laughed really hard when you said, “also, this huge pimple is not going away bro” 😂 can relate so much!

[@mariaisabelperez9587]

Kaiti, baby girl, listen…. How are you gonna come at me this hard?!! 😭😭😭 this whole cathexis thing. Yes. My entire life. Abusive relationships. It never felt like love especially looking back at it. Thank you for having these vulnerable talks. I appreciate you so much for it.

[@user-ov6dm3zn6u]

GIRLLLL!!!! This video is godsentttttt. On a completely unrelated note though, could we please have a video on styling t-shirts?? THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU😘

[@jessicahartnell9454]

i swear you can read my mind, this is exactly what i needed today, thank you!

[@BrandonB...]

From 5:30 - 6:30 is the last year and a half of my life, in the most literal terms. Thank you for sharing

[@emmasell7575]

This video shows excatly why you are one of my favourite youtube creators: a researched and meditated speach, quotes, sincer and personal expirience, and always a bit of sassiness... You give us awsome content Kaiti, thank you so much! Love ya 💙

[@gabrielmarella6193]

i was sitting down trying to enjoy my dinner while watching this video.. and the next five minutes i cried (while chewing my food) to the enlightments that she spoke out :') this is not what i expect to listen from u but.. God bless your soul, lady ♡

[@KaitiYoo]

OMGGGG no way... Hope the dinner was still good hahaha. Sending you strength and love! It's an honor that this video was even slightly helpful to you. :,)

[@gabrielmarella6193]

@@KaitiYoo I'm sure tomorrow's dinner is even better :) thank you so much for the insights and book recommendations! what you preached resonates so much and have given me a whole new perspective towards this love thingy that has been bothering my mental state a lot. I love your energy so much! Have a good day Kaiti ❤

[@tessometimes]

13:35 totally agree with you!

[@yiting7456]

Thank you so much for talking about this. I really resonated with what you said about fearing a relationship. This is really helpful :)

[@nicoleakuezumba]

no way, i just started reading the all about love book!! it's so fricking good and i just got to that definition of love, i can't wait to finish and continue reading that book

[@owamistanley]

Okay but who else agrees that Kaiti should have her own podcast :)

[@minas.831]

I needed to hear that. I’m tired of failed relationships.

[@jueedhar1545]

Was waiting for this ! ahh finally the valentine's season concludes...

[@KaitiYoo]

I BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE

[@kamillein20]

I absolutely LOVE this

[@KaitiYoo]

LOVE YOU AND THANK YOU

[@kamillein20]

@@KaitiYoo you've got no idea how much your videos make my day! Thank YOU

[@jarradevi]

The point of ‘what are you afraid of’ rlly hit me for branching out socially and building new friendships… thank you for this video 🥰

[@Sam-0827]

❤️Dang, she came for my neck. But I lived for every second of it

[@KaitiYoo]

HEHEHE YOU'RE WELCOME

[@geetanjalidas1286]

Girl , this video is just right for our generation ❤️

[@unnienoona9888]

Ughhhhhh I love your content and your takes. Thank you

[@KhushiSharma-iw5pk]

Loved this video! Great editing as usual. Also, Daring Greatly is really speaking to me, I'll have to get this book asap. Thanks for the rec!

[@yourejustassaneasiam3157]

This video found me exactly when I needed it ,it's mind-blowing. I got rejected by this guy I really liked more than I ever thought was possible a few months back after being convinced he loved me too but he decided he was not ready for a relationship and I've reached rock bottom, become a complete mess, my personality drastically changed and I had to skip my final exams because I was too depressed to even function. And this video really taught me so many things... i just hope I find myself again.

[@isabelleb-l2699]

I have been in relationships almost non-stop for the past three years but I really really love my current partner and I don’t want to break up with him, but I am afraid that I will miss out on that important time for a person to be single and get to know themselves outside of a relationship

[@estefaniazila]

Ahhhh I love this type of content, it makes me feel seen and understood.

[@wisdomliving99]

I feel lucky, to find youu such a pure soul.. and your interpretation levelllll is maxxxx by definition literally~~~

[@popovka]

I agree with your points but one (around 14:00): if you voice your needs and your partner gets scared - it doesn't HAVE to be the end. As long as you can talk about it and say, let's see how we can make this work for both of us. Is okay to be scared sometimes.

[@KK-qk5lf]

u r literally my comfort person

[@alex-if8pt]

I literally broke up with my boyfriend on Valentine’s Day and this genuinely helped a lot, thanks bae 😭💕

[@KaitiYoo]

Sending you a big hug. Healing will be hard, but it is inevitable. You WILL get through this! Be kind to yourself while you grieve and process, before moving on.

[@WesleyAnna]

If anyone is struggling with avoidant behavior I highly suggest reading "Attached"! Changed my life. Really.

[@jyeshtha9414]

BRUH 💀 legit laughing. A personal attack and I'm here for it.

[@KaitiYoo]

SOMEONE HAD TO SAY IT

[@twicebang4556]

I would love a Kaiti Yoo Christian journey video thing 😫

[@pyepye21]

I totally struggle with feeling like I have to be one hundred percent perfect and healed and idk stable enough to be deserving of love And it's definitely a journey and frustrating coming out of that type of thinking 😩

[@baboylove]

Didn't skip that commercial part coz I also love Neutrogena, LOL. I have that face wash and night pressed serum.

[@Abby-Brock]

Katie Yoo are brilliant! I’m already married but this opened my eyes to some things that I should fix with the way I behave in my marriage. Also thank you for mentioning prayer! 💕

[@bookends]

omg i also just finished all about love 2 weeks ago T__T this video is such a great interpretation of the book, thank u so much kaiti!!!

[@_hayla]

everything in this video is absolute perfection 😤

[@beyondtheradio]

me in a healthy 10 yr relationship/1 year marriage: imma watch anyway also, i totally did not date in hs either. lmao i thought i was above so many boys. but honestly, i dont regret it. i saved myself a lot of drama

[@mahfuzaraparvin9856]

Going to rewatch this multiple times because once was not enough for all your knowledge to sink in haha. Great video Kaiti!!!

[@Lizabawa]

I love hearing your thoughts and your transparency. You're so well spoken and articulate your thoughts so well! :)

[@natalyaporter5730]

I used to want a relationship so bad. Then I experienced a situation-ship that led to a friendship breakup that really hurt for a long time. Now I’m finally over it and honestly I feel completely content just being myself, and being by myself. I genuinely no longer care if I get a boyfriend or not. Which is a huge form of growth for me. I’m just so happy that I finally no longer care about that stuff. If it comes along again, cool. But in the meantime it doesn’t matter, isn’t that great?!

[@pyepye21]

Me coming up with a reading list from this video

[@KaitiYoo]

I gotchu ;)

[@jjliao6131]

i loved the video so so much

[@yashasvijayaram2395]

Seriously this whole video was so informative and all the things I needed to hear, wud love to see more content like this🧡💕

[@fananajanana]

Since we’re talking about love we love you Kaiti!! 😘💗🙆🏻‍♀️

[@kylaaaliyah8309]

another motivational talk for one of the worst months for hopeless hopeless romantics! thankyouuuu

[@shannonevans7259]

I could literally sit here and listen to you talk all day

[@kscott6378]

Thank you for talking about these things and making yourself vulnerable. I have never been in a relationship and I'm definitely scared of failing in some way form or fashion. Can't wait to see your next video.

[@naomiveenendaal3006]

Bedankt

[@joymae]

I needed this pep talk

[@asheghefarsi]

I love you so much Kaiti. This video made me feel a lot better after my breakup. Could you please do more videos on this topic?

[@jeyy6031]

the way u post this at the exact time i need it-

[@ghitaelalloussi6052]

Dude, you don’t understand, this is EXACTLY what I needed

[@shoedogodo_5621]

best time of the week is when Kaiti posts

[@jasminvalerie]

Kaiti out here hitting me in the face with the truth. I thank you queen 🥲💜

[@anupreetiboro1352]

Adulting is crazy and complicated but it is amazing too 🥰

[@elenigkana4467]

Nice approach, I'd love to see a little longer vids Kaitii !!

[@suzanneskaria6989]

Bro this was deep and so informative❤️ I’m very excited for your friendship video. 🔥

[@morganjones2744]

I'm in a relationship now, and I'm not worried if things to will go wrong... I'm just happy to be with them. I thought I'd be more scared. sometimes I'm nervous where things will go, but it's about working on that relationship, communicating and so forth. Even if things don't go well, I know what our experience will make us better in the end and know we did truly care about each other even if things don't work out.

[@mickmellan130]

Been waiting for this moment 🙏🏻