'I'm scared of my own autistic child' - BBC News

Parents struggling to cope with their violent autistic children are not being properly supported by local authorities, the National Autistic Society has told us.
BBC's Victoria Derbyshire programme's reporter Noel Phillips has been to meet families affected.
The Local Government Association says while "councils are working hard to make sure children with autism and other special needs get access to the support they need... they have been put in an impossible situation due to increasing demand and historic underfunding".
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[@Vernatrozz]

who the fuck was in charge of the background music

[@J37182]

Vernatrozz John was.

[@casperl8408]

Vernatrozz who can relate! WOOOH

[@BB2_462]

Really, like why is the Mask Off instrumental playing in the background at around 4:00 ??

[@gaby5930]

That SquidKid lmaooooo right

[@livieegee]

that's what I was thinking lol

[@temple_123]

I hate how the only autism portrayed in the media is the aesthetic kind where they turn out to be geniuses no one knows about severe autism it kills me Edit: I also want to acknowledge that the people with high functioning autism also face lots of stereotypes about their autism. I still feel like the people, like my brother, who is like the kids shown here are not known about at all.

[@almightybeanchild]

Aoife Temple the "genius" artists are highly rare not many exist

[@mysticqueen3551]

No, that's highlighted too. It's called the pity documentaries that are made about them. Both major ends are highlighted (genius and barely capable), but we're never portrayed as people.

[@Thingsforyou1]

Agree with this. We really only see the geniuses on the media and the people who are on the higher functioning end of the spectrum but it seems like the lower functioning end of the spectrum is completely forgotten.

[@almightybeanchild]

Acacia O'Donnell because the blue puzzle autistic society is hell bent on portraying autistic people as geniuses but it's just a front. I've met heaps of kids with autism. The overwhelming majority were just simpletons with brain damage. Parents and family of autistic people need a reality check and a wake up call. They are highly delusional

[@c.darwin9259]

I’d say it’s the other way around, how els would you explain the idiotic masses believing all autistic people are emotionally and academically, retarded, bruits.

[@ttrev007]

This is why i get annoyed when people try to tell me that Autism is not a disability. It absolutely is and it is important that we keep it labeled a disability so that people qualify for care.

[@pauliriekkinen7519]

Autism is, but only severe, myself consider asperger not. Edit: No matter what, Im still tired of people speaking of autism in such voice tone, that it is the worst thing one can possibly have and autism rates in the world must be supressed at any costs

[@ttrev007]

@@pauliriekkinen7519 ignoring that in the US the Asperger's is not a thing anymore. I would say that is should still be considered a disorder since their are therapies that can be helpful and accommodations necessary to be employed. I think it is like Obsessive Compulsive people and OCD. they should make the distinction. You can have some traits that can even be helpful but you add the disorder when it is causing dysfunction. ... Maybe you are right since they no longer call it Asperger's we can you that as the term for the characteristics but not the disorder

[@YOSHlDA]

@@pauliriekkinen7519Asperger is a disability and I’m saying it as a person with Asperger. We still work very different than casual people do and it’s not bad to say we are disabled, just NOT retarded

[@cover_mystic545]

On this same line of thinking, where people ignore or belittle these types of issues: are when people say that “it isn’t real and people just make it up to get pity” When people say those things I get absolutely livid, because clearly it’s an issue and people are hurt by it.

[@CharitysClarity]

@@cover_mystic545many people are not seeing severe autism unfortunately where I am you have kids that have sensory issues and they are diagnosed, we have way to many misdiagnosed and that’s ruining the resources to help those that have it for severe. D

[@Livinglife595]

M’y daughter works with autistic children. One day a child of 10 came to class with a purple lip. The school was very concerned as this child said it was his dad that did it. The parents were contacted and yes the father had hit him very hard. Because he found him strangling his younger sister till she was blue. He had to stop him. These parents have a very hard time

[@pattymelt-go3fv]

I have no clue how Cameron's parents handle him? I would be more than desperate.. 30 seconds Cameron's baby voice... that immediately switches normal once he gets full attention. UGH...Poor parents! I feel so sorry for the other kids in the family. What causes Autisim anyway? I hope we find a cure!

[@justyour_average_lifelover]

@@pattymelt-go3fv there is no cure for autism and what I don’t understand is why you people can’t accept it as it is instead of immediately jumping to asking for a cure to it

[@KennethRachel-xi7dv]

I think Autism is from women taking depression medicine whilst pregnant but I'm not sure if that is why .

[@justyour_average_lifelover]

@@pattymelt-go3fv There is no cure for autism. I’m sorry, but you can’t cure a permanent brain disability. That’s just not possible. The only thing people can do is be patient with it and accept it for what it is.

[@susanwoo7536]

@@KennethRachel-xi7dvno! No! No! Find Wikipedia !

[@tammyreneemc5552]

My son is on the same spectrum. However, I am a single parent doing it on my own. As soon as he was 18 I fought and fought to get him on SSI. After many times of being denied he was finally approved. Immediately I put him in assisted living. I cannot control a grown man bigger than myself. The threat of harm is too much to live with even if it is your own child that you love so much, but you cannot help. You feel like a failure on a daily basis. And there is nothing you can do about it.

[@danwalsh4988]

what is SSI?

[@kiara198923]

@@danwalsh4988 Social Security Income.

[@robbieunderwood8349]

If you made it thru 18 years you did enough.

[@bcaye]

You have nothing to be ashamed of, dear lady. You have done everything you could and made the right choice even though it was so hard.

[@coryindahus7319]

Lmao i got roasted by a No u and your mom

[@nuckinfuts7610]

That high-pitched repetition would bring me to a breaking point, without a doubt.

[@godofdogs6198]

Late term abortion

[@famouslastwords0791HR]

Me too. I know i could NOT do this. I have trouble with neurotypical children screaming, I absolutely could not be around an autistic kid. My fault, not theirs.

[@Louis-lu5wh]

You get used to having to here this and similar it’s called learned helplessness.

[@mgz_lxw4492]

@@Louis-lu5wh I’ve had 10 years of it with my brother and you don’t, you slowly begin to resent them for it more and more, even tho it’s not their fault

[@Louis-lu5wh]

@@mgz_lxw4492 ik I've had 15

[@Scary_Momo]

And this video was 6 years ago...hope life's better now..

[@zoeydeu2261]

I didn't know about this type of autism until I moved into an apartment downstairs from a family with a severely autistic child. I'll never forget the first time I heard him scream, we nearly called the police over thinking a kid was being physically abused. The noise was so extreme, we'd hear things being thrown around, breaking, even the neighbours below us thought it was us abusing a child (I pointed to her it was the family above us, that's how loud the child was), he'd have one of those episodes at least twice a week. One day I saw the father take the kid to school, and was shocked to see he was about 7 years old! So young and yet so frightening! Then a few months later, I saw an autistic teen bashing his father on the train. The father tried to be as calm as he could and hugged the kid tight while the teen violently thrashed in his arms, screaming. All the passengers in the carriage were silent and in shock/pity for the parents. There was nothing any of us could do. You could tell the mother was embarrassed and tired. The moments of witnessing or hearing what these parents were going through was heartbreaking.

[@denisekriel5892]

We moved out of town onto a small holding because of the fear of living next door to people. When we lived in town we were constantly worried about what our neighbors would think. I did tell them about my daughter having autism but still I think as an outsider when you hear the commotion it is unbelievable and it must be incredibly upsetting. It definitely added so much more stress to our lives worrying about other people. We have outbursts daily to varying degrees. Some days it is just screaming and shouting (good days) and other days she breaks things, becomes violent and has tried to stab us a few times with a knife. She is 13 years old. People just don't understand the challenge of living with this condition 24/7. It is our normal but for others it must seems far from normal.

[@zoeydeu2261]

@@denisekriel5892 Sorry to hear you have to live in constant stress like that. I dunno how you guys do it but hats off to you and hope she gets better with age. It's good you told your neighbors, we didn't get that from our previous neighbor and had to guess. As long as they know a child has autism and isn't being abused, they just need to deal with the noise. Personally I feel for parents and carers of all severe autistic children, I don't know how you guys cope. I hope researchers find a medication or a therapy or treatment that can help calm these kids down (without sedating them), so they and their families can lead safer, better lives

[@masonnix9566]

God kingdom cant come soon enough.

[@MachinaGirlRobots]

My neighbors have called and actually complained about my 4 yr old autistic daughter making noise. I threatened to sue them. It can be VERY hard at times, and most people just do not understand at all. I know no one in my building understands it. Oh and a little edit: I did tell everyone she was autistic. They all know.

[@masonnix9566]

@@MachinaGirlRobots Why are people with autism so mean and cruel?

[@macclift9956]

These parents are exhausted!

[@rkvelasquez]

That's shortisum

[@lizatanzawa7910]

Riley Rees-Tucker NOT horrible. Truth can hurt. But not as much as getting beaten up by your child. Don't be cruel to these desperate parents.

[@sherrykao978]

LJK Designs LTD did u mean "we" would be dead by now instead?

[@Shreddies_and_spam]

Mary Anne Clifton yep they are. I know from experience. I am the problem

[@lukeism2]

They want to die

[@user-mo8fw5xb2v]

As someone with Autism, I can say that life for me was expected to get worse. I was 8 when the diagnosis came in and the doctors told my parents that I would never make it to high school and I would have to rely on my parents for the rest of my life. But thanks to the early diagnosis and having me go through various therapies, that fate was avoided. Here I am, living alone for a half-year study abroad program during my final year of college. But seeing all of these poor individuals makes me tear up over the fact that, this could have been me. It’s disturbing that despite the heightened awareness, there’s still a multitude of struggles that these parents and their children face.

[@thegodzillaatomicblastprod1702]

Im autistic and my skill is avoiding therapy and things I don't like.

[@justsomerandompersonnoques8701]

I remember they said i wouldn't make it out of 2cd grade

[@mariafaria2256]

Thank you for witness. All the best to you always!

[@svetavinogradova4243]

You were a normal child whose parents could not properly parent you. Luckily, they invited specialists who taught you to comply and so made you teacheable.

[@filipeflower]

@@svetavinogradova4243 Do you have any evidence to back up that theory?

[@ahmedsuleman3204]

My brother is so abusive to my mum always screaming and hitting her when she's trying her best to help him with his diabetes and autism some days I just wish he was never there , and because my parents focus on them I'm literally on the end of a cliff with my mental health ..

[@kita3638]

No please don't harm yourself because of your brother,if u need someone to talk to I am here for u

[@ahmedsuleman3204]

@@kita3638 I'm getting better with my friends help , Thank you , I hope you have a wonderful day

[@natesportyboy4939]

I think you should consider sources for your brother such as Collaborative & Proactive Solutions, Applied Educational Neuroscience, the Neurosequential Model, Beyond Behaviors, Low Arousal, or Ukeru.

[@justagirlthatlovesjesus6030]

Ur mother should boot him into a care home so that u can have some of the attention u are entitled to, esp since u are struggling just as much as they are. So sorry to hear his tantrums are taking presidency over ur well being😢

[@ColinHammond94]

Sorry to hear this ,I've a brother and 2 nephews with it 😢 ❤

[@k.elmaraghy1370]

Honestly, I dont wanna ever have children. Mental illness runs in my family. And would literally shatter my world if a kid of mine rose up to have some sort of mental illness. I 'd rather live and die alone over living with such agony. Stop saying its a blessing! That child is as much struggling as their parents are. I wouldnt want my child to suffer. It would be like a harsh stab to my heart

[@Oakleaf700]

It is a lottery. If Autism runs in your family, there is a likelihood of you also having an autistic child. I agree- Autism to this level can be incredibly dangerous to the parents and other siblings.

[@k.elmaraghy1370]

@@Oakleaf700 Schizophrenia, depression, autism, epilepsy have marathons in my family.

[@ColinHammond94]

Same my biggest fear I've a brother and ive 2 nephews with it ,heart breaking the 2 nephews cant speak and my brother is in a living assistance facility 😢

[@XaiderMaider]

Exactly what im saying i was born with autism or a form of it and i struggled with school badly to the point I couldnt get even a diploma and i hate my life now and ive basically failed my life and in general i hate it and wish i wasnt born so im the same way and i thank you for not letting a child like that be born into a world that isnt met for children like that or people like that and not letting them have a sad depressing terrible life i thank you genuinely

[@k.elmaraghy1370]

@@XaiderMaider No sweets. You're a beautiful human being and a beautiful soul. I didnt mean by my words that people with whatever disability shouldn't exist.. all i meant is i don't have the heart and courage for it. I hope it would get better for you. We're all struggling in some way or another. Just remember that!

[@ajdelgado2663]

'Excuse me....' 'ExCuSe Me...' 'eXcUsE mE...’ 'What Cameron?' 'nO'

[@ayanmustafe8967]

AJ Delgado its not funny its not Lmao pls stop

[@KingJaxsony]

Lololololoollllll 🤣

[@user-xm5jm3im8y]

I laughed lol

[@ayanmustafe8967]

@I'm addicted to musicals it was a joke bro you need to relax and just take the damn joke

[@Stephanie102684]

The 10 year old kid in my special education class does this too. He also will speak in commercials (I've heard the Cookie Crisp and Fruity Pebbles commercial for 7 hours straight before) or TV shows and he'll say, "Excuse me," until you acknowledge him in some way or he'll go over and tap you and then when you do acknowledge, he'll just launch into an explosion sound. It might seem funny to others and sometimes it is because it seems really important and then you acknowledge and all it is is an explosion sound effect. It's something you just get used to.

[@tink3802]

LOL why they play "mask off" by future in the background while showing the parent's injuries lmao

[@JohnWhite-uo3tf]

They need the molly and perks

[@truecrimerip7936]

yup, think the editors liked the song too much 😂 doesnt fit the moment at all.

[@laela6289]

Tink yeah poor choice of music. A little distracting 😅

[@nothingwhatever9915]

lmaoo i'm glad i'm not the only one who noticed that

[@abblabblabalaba]

there was also a weeknd instrumental in there i think

[@kwerkykiki777]

These parents don’t get enough credit the tiredness and mental strain must be alot to deal with but we see you. mum and dad your doing a job👏

[@Muhabbatik]

You are absolutely right. many people when hear you are raising a child with autism act like it's nothing special. If I would left many of them for a day with autistic child many of them would beg to take ac child back within an hour if not less... it's a very hard job

[@allenbrodess8510]

@@Muhabbatik Firstly the situation is caused by the parents and societies choices (epigenetic onset) secondly it only ever get's this bad if the guardians themselves are totally unfit and abusive...as is seen here...I have aspergers and don't even have to think about it nd or nt crowd i'm over with kanner..n as you look around the world don't forget typicals are the kings of social masking/interpersonal manipulation infact it's the only thing typicals are good at on their own.. ALL of the tech you enjoy in your life from the pencil on up you can thank autistic people for... it's a very different culture within your own circles this is showing you will not adapt even for your own children so prehaps they should be locked away for their crimes here and the general welfare the so called parents that is who only stupid/very dumb people could miss where extremely abusive These fucks are in no way sensitive to their children they don't even think of them as such their getting this predator view of someone only mimiking their own responses stressors and such...Don't want timmy to grow up hitting you don't raise him hitting him..otherwise when you get clobbered it's all fair..Might makes right parenting approaches often lead to an overthrow.. Sensory issues yet we are in quiet active places with camera crews staring down people that typically arent found of attention and uncomfertable with eye contact...I could go on and on but there's o many problems here I would not be the least bit surprised if one of those kids killed their parents and i used the term kill because in my eye's it wouldn't be murder after enduring all that but self defense to stop it from continuing

[@5040115]

@@allenbrodess8510 i respect your opinion since you have an inside view but as a mother who is waiting for her child to be assessed for autism I just have to say that I have to work 10 times harder than any average parent just to keep my child safe, fed in a healty way and not stuck in a tv all day. It is a tough job. You know about autism and how it it is autistic but you don't know how hard it is to raise a child that you don't understand and don't know how to help.

[@allenbrodess8510]

​@@5040115 LOVE your child...depathologize your thoughts....instead of looking at stimming as a bad thing acknowledge it's a self regulatory process that we shouldn't interfer with unless it's violent for we can induce burnout which brings with it skill regression,increased tendency towards violence ect...We treat that with a more love lover type approach if it even begins to get there...everything short of sex throw the dayspa,sound therapy,wooing it's a time of recovery the body is forcing to protect itself...Ignore it and get intellectual co's/disability maybe even physical. Look for spd sources of issue like florescent lighting,various sounds,combinations of,textures explore the world again with them to and pay a devoted attention to taking notice....Be about them for awhile observe not to judge/change them but first what can be changed to be better for their lives...Frequent breaks as you shift from topic to topic with a fun distraction so they can 'fall out' of the gear they where in and get ready for the next one..

[@allenbrodess8510]

@@5040115 Really need much more comprehensive information to go beyond generalized best practice tho... you're just now coming to this conclusion soooo chances are regression/burnout has recently started time off vacation toss out that rulebook and let em live a bit see what they do on their own with help rather than trying to force conformity and what you/society wants...THis is critical longer it progressed the more damage will be done...Short term can usually have full recoveries IF you get to the issues and help em move forward,But when sustained symptoms worsen skill loss and trouble obtaining new ones is a sure fire bet and everything just degrades and spirals out....Catching at this point if you treat correctly you could find there's more than than you ever knew.... Not joking at all if their at that point i'll do it myself if you'll bring em...Don't like the results there'll be a plethera of charges you can push...went where i said not to (likely to happen)'kidnapping',the dayspa stuff can easily be twisted and it doesnt take much of an imagination..easy sell to the town who's witnessed a 'closeness' the uber protective nature of what needs to be for awhile i'd be cooked but it works and is worth it.never failed to get another out of burnout yet

[@janetdonald9801]

Also, the ‘help’ are also victims of violence. People working in disability are the second most injured group of workers, just under building.

[@filipeflower]

What's that supposed to mean?

[@aidisnotapotato1132]

@@filipeflower like caretakers. Caretakers or others who offer in home support often face a lot of violence too.

[@a016202]

@@filipeflower Meaning the help parents are begging for are also targets of the violence the parents are trying to get away from. Medication and a locked room should be the standard of care.

[@filipeflower]

@@a016202 Yeah, but that doesn't apply to every case, does it?

[@a016202]

@@filipeflower What do you mean by “every case”? If you mean do support persons (non-family) experience violence from those cases with a known history of violence then yes - I would bet that nearly all (nothing is ever 100%) experience some level of aggression/violence at least once while they have cared for that person. But if you mean “every case of all autistics” utilizing a non-family support person then no - around 50% of those with autism are not aggressive. Personally, I believe aggressive autistics should be medicated while trying to identify triggers and ways to manage them or finding coping mechanisms. You can’t teach someone who is actively injuring themselves and others.

[@janetdonald9801]

I was attacked by an autistic person at work. It was brutal and left; me unable to work, in chronic pain, with a lifelong impact. When he was convicted, it was his 3rd conviction and he was only 21. Disabled people being violent to their family or people who work with them is an issue that no one wants to talk about. When families, quite rightly want more support, we've got to remember that the carers and workers will be the ones who are subjected to their violence.

[@AutisticBrain]

Bro an autistic man was arrested isn’t that what you’re saying *(Janetdonald9801)?*

[@volkischfraulein2957]

💯

[@PeterPumpkinEater75]

When I was a kid 15 or so years ago we had this massive autistic kid in our class who was larger than everyone else and had the mental age of probably a 6 year old when we were all 10 years old. Was able to hurt and lash out at whoever he wanted, due to me being so small I was a victim of these rage attacks a few times, all of which came without consequences for him. Anyways one day I’d had enough and smashed him over the head with a tin lunchbox and he fell to the floor like a sack of spuds. He shouldn’t have been in mainstream education and his condition shouldn’t have been our problem to face daily

[@jacquelinelopez3429]

I wonder if Mexican families have kids act up like this? I am Mexican-American and I’m just saying, our parents have our ass in check🩴😂

[@pinchebruha405]

It is t right that the general public has to deal with the sick disabled and addicted. They’re not educated or equipped to but here we are. Their right over everyone’s safety. Yes the parents don’t can t care for them so then workers will be the ones to deal with it. It is very freighting

[@vickinoeske1711]

I live in America and have an adult schizophrenic son. This country provides very little help with the mentally ill. After 18 parents have no say so in their child's treatment. If the person shows indications of harm to self or others, a therapist can put them in the hospital for 72 hours...that's it. The adult patient has to agree to continue treatment as if the ill can make good decisions. I know this video is regarding Autistic people, but the whole mental health issue is wanting.

[@prutwekker2193]

I am in Canada; same here. My AS son could not handle work anymore but will not seek help. I cannot do anything. I know he is becoming a hoarder ( I am not allowed in his home, and now my husband isn't either). He sits his whole day at the computer. My other kids keep saying how much he has gone downhill since he is on his own. Nothing I can do; he will become a street person and likely freeze to death someday. Governments do not care. All I can say is you are not alone, but sadly real help just isn't available.

[@vickinoeske1711]

Prut Wekker My mom and I worry about him ending up on the street as well. Brad does get some government help, but not enough to live on. He won't live in a group home and of course, no one can live with him and vice versa. I absolutely feel your worry and pain. Mental illness is no longer such a social stigma, but it is an ignored illness . Contact me any time.

[@Dima-dc5mf]

Oh my, you must be glad that you get any help from your country. In Ukraine, if kid with autism or other growth disorders will born, 90% that you won't get any help on regular base. You are alone with this. Now that kind of scary you know. Be grateful for what your government gives you in that situation.

[@mayjailerxx]

The system definitely needs reformation. There’s to much advancement regarding our knowledge of the wife spectrum of mental illness, laws and practices need to catch up

[@peppe44]

My girlfriend is a single mother of an autistic child. The boy is 14 now and has a strengthen of a bull. She lives in Florida now and at least they have schools and some help from the local gov. I'm worrying what would happen to her and the boy.

[@awakened3651]

In NY these kids are 'mainstreamed' into regular classrooms. I just got cracked in the head today by the head of a 6yo 1st grade boy. Another teacher got jabbed in the eye with a pencil by a kindergarten boy. Last week I taught in a 4th grade class with a non-verbal girl in an adult stroller. As the day wore on she became increasingly dysregulated, vocalizing, screeching and flailing, bruising her aide. The aide gets no legally required breaks because there is no one else to attend to this 9yo girl. The other children in this classroom get no work done and no one is interacting with this child. Teachers and staff quit regularly, capable students are pulled out of public school by parents. No one benefits from this version of 'inclusion'.

[@sarah2.017]

You are correct.

[@bavariangirl123]

As the parent of a now-grown son with severe autism, I can only agree. Some children are on the mild end of the spectrum and can benefit from an inclusion-type setting. Those on the severe end need specialized care that far exceeds the care that can be provided in a typical classroom setting.

[@Vickymumof4]

They are here in uk too. Teachers refuse to acknowledge their issues. They don’t give e a shit. Not one of my 4 ASD kids have finished school as they can’t cope. It’s awful as they are so clever

[@Jill_of_trades]

They shouldn't be in a normal class these children

[@Vickymumof4]

@@Jill_of_trades def not. It’s messed my kids up. Not one have finished high school as they couldn’t cope

[@30251]

I'm pregnant and it's my biggest fear to have a child like this. I know I wouldnt be able to cope without losing my mind or becoming deeply depressed. I would honestly have to put the child in a home. I'm ashamed to admit it but that's the only feasible solution in my view. I have seen people living with nonverbal severely autistic kids and it's a constant struggle.

[@qwerty9797]

Ik this a horrible thing to say, but I'm saying it to an expectant mother who's already contemplating putting her potentially disabled child in home. So... the best way to ensure you don't have an autistic child is to not have a child at all.

[@30251]

@@qwerty9797 I'm already pregnant and it's far too late for an abortion, so your comment doesn't make any sense. You might find my comment upsetting, but a home would be the best thing for a severely autistic child who isn't a baby and can't be controlled anymore. Their needs would be met without it costing the parent's sanity and wellbeing (and that of any non-disabled siblings). People like you see exhausted, depressed, miserable parents getting attacked and run ragged by their uncontrollable autistic kids and want them to just keep suffering like that? Knowing government and social services resources are incredibly limited? You're the bad person here, not me.

[@offwegothen]

​@@30251 You don't see the point of that person's statement. This person is not saying that you shouldn't seek the kind of help you're talking about and that those parents clearly need. She simply points out that when you are still pregnant, you worry completely unnecessarily. You don't need this stress now. With this approach, it is clear that there is no point in even thinking about starting a family or planning it. And no, no one here is suggesting abortion or anything like that. For example: I have always had fears that I would not be a good parent, that I was not suitable for it (of course, I have my reasons for thinking so) and - like you - I was afraid of my child's serious illness. That's why I never started a family. I simply decided not to have children, and that's what that person meant: don't plan to have children in your life if you are very afraid of illness, disability, etc. I assume that parenthood is not for everyone and that's it. There's nothing wrong with it. I wish your child and family all the best and, above all, health. Don't be afraid and don't worry so much. It's obvious that you care about your child very much if you watch and care about stories like this. However, sometimes watch something more positive, a program about happy families that are doing well - it's really encouraging 🙂

[@30251]

@@offwegothen Thanks for the kind words. Honestly, I just made the comment after watching the video. After viewing it I just thought, if anything would terrify me about life as a soon-to-be parent, it's something like this.

[@robinright825]

My son, now 36 years old, is very severely autistic. He also has violent, dangerous outbursts. I was a single parent with 2 other young children when he was little. By age 4, 5, 6 he was very difficult & dangerous to care for. His first placement in a residential program was at age 7. He lived there for 4 years. He then came home for a couple years but was still impossible to care for so again he entered a residential facility and he's been there for the last 22 years. I can't even imagine how our lives would have played out had we not had help for him. I am very grateful to have my son in a residence where he is well cared for and cared about. I'm in my 60s now and although I worry about him all the time (I'm still his mom & he's still my baby boy!!!) I do have assurance that after I'm gone he's going to be ok. Just to clarify - when he's been in residential care I haven't abandoned him! I've always been, and am, very involved in his life. I'm involved in all aspects of his care from medical, medication, dental decisions to his everyday care decisions such as what & how much he eats to buying his clothing, underwear, shoes, etc. My husband and I even made him a special bed recently as he kept tearing apart & breaking up typical bed frames & headboards. I also make him special sheets for his bed as he tears off store bought sheets and then destroys them. I even change his bedding weekly & then launder his special bedding at home then take it back the next week or so. I will always be involved with my son and his care as long as I am able!!!

[@frickolis2531]

I applaud to you. Parents with autistic children or family members are very strong, doing anything to their child. Like they said in the video, sometimes they cried when they slept, and I couldn't imagine that, every day. I'm very sorry about your son, but he will always love you. Thanks for sharing your side of the story, and have a good day

[@kilitaplayz6543]

Who else was too lazy to read it all

[@taralynnhoffmann5831]

It sounds like you feel extremely guilty (that he is in a home) and you shouldn't.

[@germantennesseean8438]

I hate that you feel like you have to explain and justify yourself . People have to understand that you as a parent also have other responsibilities and there is just so much a single person can do and there is no shame whatsoever in saying : I need help I cant do this on my own.I have very very high respect for you and your love for your son and am sure he knows he has an absolutly awesome loving caring mum.Much love from Germany

[@rhi2400]

Robin Auras If someone is not in your position they have no right to judge the choices you felt you had to make for the health and safety of everyone involved. I can’t imagine being in that situation, you just have to do the best you can💜 sending you love!

[@haikat4]

I dealt with the same thing for 20 years. Eventually I just ran away. I love my brother but at this point whatever happens happens. I can't deal with being held hostage or attacked every other day. The violence wears you down hard.

[@irlmeow]

im autistic and im really so sorry for you ❤️

[@Robinicat]

It should never have reached a point where you were constantly attacked. I feel strongly that the rights/needs of the other children in the family are paramount to those of the autistic child....because he is the perpetrator and they are the victims. Sadly some children do need to be institutionalized.

[@Robinicat]

You have to consider what is best for EVERYONE in the family. If siblings/innocent children are being abused, it's best to remove the autistic child from the home.

[@redleeks6253]

​@@Robinicat A friend of mine had 3 kids and all are in the austism spectrum but the first girl has what it was called asperger and wasn't diagnosed until she was 18. The middle child has mild autism but was able to improve with special education and therapy the youngest is severe, non verbal and the only one managing him is the oldesr sister (shes now 20) and the boy is 13. The mother just put the oldest child parenting 2 autistic children, even when the oldest child has issues herselfm

[@Robinicat]

I strongly believe that if a child is growing up in a household with a violent sibling (whether from mental illness or autism or brain damage), he or she has a right to a calm and peaceful home life. The aggressive child needs to be put in a home. I'm sorry YOU had to leave. That should have happened years earlier. Maybe seek counselling to deal with any feelings of resentment you have towards your family for putting your brother's needs ahead of yours. Keep in mind that you will have a second chance at a happy family life when you have your own family.

[@UnCannyValley67]

What a horrific nightmare. It would destroy my peace of mind and qualify of life. I couldn’t do it.

[@Rich_ric6075]

i know right? i cant deal with this, im too weak

[@aposteriori421]

Nor should you be expected to

[@greenbanana1001]

My son cannot talk , cannot toilet train , scream constantly is always hyper never sits down never sleeps it’s so exhausting and unless people have dealt with something similar they have no idea how it feels

[@agricolaregs]

Get respite services if you can.

[@doyouhearthepeoplesing2]

There is no such word as can’t

[@catguy4996]

Well that might be the most severe possible case of autism. You probably will need assistance from social service to take care of him

[@doyouhearthepeoplesing2]

@@catguy4996 social services wont help they will just put the kid in care

[@natesportyboy4939]

Then perhaps you should consider sources such as Collaborative & Proactive Solutions, Applied Educational Neuroscience, the Neurosequential Model, Beyond Behaviors, Low Arousal, or Ukeru.

[@missshowers3807]

His voice "excuse me"....this would drive me insane!!!

[@madenaknight214]

At least he's polite, so I get where he's coming from

[@livbaker988]

@@robinjohnson1485 that's disgraceful.

[@empressrobin2280]

@@robinjohnson1485 Could you please explain your reasoning?

[@Iusti06]

Robin Johnson nO u

[@livbaker988]

@@Iusti06 you are so inconsiderate and self centered 🤦🏼‍♀️

[@aerialkate]

I feel so sorry for the parents. I know that the kids can't help their behaviour, but it doesn't change the fact that the parents' nerves must be frazzled. Thank God I'm not in their position.

[@colorbar.s]

If you can't help your child if they happen to be born with any kind of disability, don't get children.

[@willowmadhuridixit8991]

It’s drives many to breakdown, suicide, relationships to breaking point and sometimes beyond.

[@willowmadhuridixit8991]

colorbar.s stupidest comment I’ve ever read. Autism is a Neurodevelopmental Disorder. You have no idea when you have a child is that child will be diagnosed with autism. ASD’s are genetic. It’s just a lottery as to who will have it. You don’t not have children because you fear they may have Autism. You can only do you’re best.

[@peanutandoreobasset1859]

aerialkate I know almost nothing about autism, but I wonder if enforcing discipline in the way you do with a non autistic child , from a very early age, would help mitigate some problems later on. Do some parents withhold discipline because they believe the child “cannot help themselves”? I am just wondering.

[@ExclamationPeriodQuestionMark]

aerialkate well just grab the belt and do what you can to protect yourself from the kid

[@margodphd]

I'm sorry but other children didn't ask to be beaten,to be afraid in their own home. They feel invisible, unwanted, betrayed, they ARE victims - phenomenon of glass children is frightening. The parents have to protect ALL CHILDREN,not only the sick one....

[@onlyconnect88]

It's an impossible dilemma for a parent to be in when other siblings are clearly being impacted. A lot of outside support is required to limit damage done to brothers & sisters in these circumstances, which sadly is is rarely adequate.

[@YochevedDesigns]

Are you volunteering to go to their house and give them some respite hours? If not, then STFU.

[@emmajones8590]

If that was my child, he would be in a facility. It's just too dangerous to keep him at home, end of. And that story of somebody else in this thread, of the autistic child trying to kill his sister, is terrifying. That is a ticking time bomb and it is so unfair for the younger sister to have to share a home with an older sibling that tried to strangle her. This makes me realize how incredibly lucky most parents are, to have a child that behaves even reasonably normally.

[@outroseok]

my sister has severe autism and I grew up with her hitting, pulling our hair, throwing drinks, etc when she was angry. people don't TRULY understand unless they've been through it themselves.

[@natesportyboy4939]

What you mean is that you've been through someone autistic doing that to you. That's not the same as knowing what it's like to be autistic and to do those things. For that, you should consider watching "Reframing 'Severe' Autism" by Damon Kirsebom, a boy diagnosed with "severe autism".

[@svetavinogradova4243]

Your mother just failed her parenting job.

[@nikicarrie4071]

I'm sorry

[@0ctoCraft]

people don't TRULY understand if they aren't autistic

[@nowirehangers2815]

@@0ctoCraftso? If you can’t behave in society you belong in an institution

[@catherinestanley2218]

"He's pushed me down the stairs". "They not only have to protect elliot but also their other children". Then why the hell is he still living in that house? You can love your child all you want but when he becomes a danger to everyone around him, including you, you just need to contact a mental facility who's equipped to dealing with him.

[@catherinestanley2218]

If you'd consider it abuse if it where anyone else, it should be no different with him. My oldest brother has ADHD and bipolar 1, I can honestly say I don't love him and that's his fault. I don't love the bruises he left on my mom, the fear he caused in me, the ruined holidays and birthdays, the busted walls and broken door frames, the shattered glass, the screaming, and tears. If he ain't happy he'll make sure no one else is either, which is why I'm happy he isn't a part of my life anymore, I feel free without him.

[@liamwatson5125]

Catherine Stanley They are going to put Elliot in jail. Pushing somebody down the stairs is murder.

[@charlottevicarage1331]

I hate to say yhis, but sometimes, even if it means splitting up the family, sometimes sending your child is the best way, for their safety and their families.

[@liamwatson5125]

@@charlottevicarage1331 Nobody is safe from this criminal, not his friends, not even his own family. He will be sent to the prison that houses dangerous criminals.

[@ionia2376]

The point is that there isn't somewhere suitable for him to be cared for.

[@sillykino]

I really respect these parents. My autism isn't that bad but I know sometimes I'm hard to deal with.

[@kaiwhittle6840]

Me too

[@deezn.3418]

Please be my 23rd friend.

[@nox2534]

Same it's really hard because i'll start having a meltdown and no-one will know what to do so they'll try to intervene and obviously that doesn't help...

[@jemstar3388]

I’m on the spectrum aswell but on the high functioning side and since I’m female it got missed for years.

[@themightypars4453]

Jem Star that happened to me(Am male btw) and It’s been 2yrs since we started trying to get a diagnosis My School were calling it anxiety because i was doing good I’m school (They don’t care about your feelings) But my mum kept fighting and just got the diagnosis a week ago. I just feel bad for people that schools don’t care like me

[@marycanary86]

thats just domestic violence tbh. theres gotta be somewhere to put kids like that, the parents shouldnt have to endure all that

[@tthsgun]

Is is violence, and I do agree that the parents shouldn’t have to endure that Just remember that the kid may not be aware that what they are doing is wrong.

[@0ctoCraft]

it's the parents fault

[@tthsgun]

@@0ctoCraft no it isnt, autism isnt caused by shitty parenting

[@0ctoCraft]

@@tthsgun I didn't say it was

[@silviaconsonni586]

My dad is a nurse in psychiatry, in Italy. Patients who can't live with their family because for one or the other reason, they can't control rage, are often sent to institutes. Some institutes are corners of heaven, some do the bare necessity and medicate the patients. At least these people are not making the whole household unsafe, including themselves.

[@arrontheemo7752]

God I was getting stressed watching him getting up in hes mums face saying excuse me over and over again I cannot even imagine what it would be like for them.

[@a016202]

Absolute hell on earth.

[@allenbrodess8510]

exactly what their chosen actions brought upon them and if they don't change will continue to bring upon them...reaping what they sew..autism and it's worsening are epigenetically induced...There's no debate left to be had there 90% of the human population has the potential to go that way with the same/like conditions less than 1% does cause their conditions where different..

[@natesportyboy4939]

Oh sure, feel for the parents but not the child, how totally lovely of you. You need to read "Two Houses" by Henry Frost, an autistic boy who is just like the one in this video, because you don't know or care about how people like this boy feel about situations like these.

[@arrontheemo7752]

@@natesportyboy4939 you need to grow up a bit before you start commenting on here. Never said I don’t fell bad for the child.

[@arrontheemo7752]

@@allenbrodess8510 I’m sorry can you just explain what you mean please as I was confused with what you said

[@MusikJunkie89]

It's stressing me out just to watch. It takes unimaginable patience to raise a child like that. I commend anyone going through this.

[@c_n_b]

I admire people who can raise any child. I can't even imagine this.

[@ohgodwhy3401]

And in some cases, they still have to raise them all through adulthood

[@spacemaster8831]

Not every autistic child is like that, but to the families who deal with that daily, keep going, I admire you

[@allenbrodess8510]

@@spacemaster8831 Most who are you can bet their 'family' onset the violent symptoms with their own violence...Can bet they are suffering as greatly as anyone else there and it's the 'caregivers' fault for being trash,. prehaps well intentioned trash but such an idiot no one should have ever let them have kids without a signing caregiver of their own to take responsibility

[@Louis-lu5wh]

What about being the brother of one of these dickheads that tells you every day that he is going to kill you…

[@melissakelley9758]

People drive me insane thinking they have the solution when they wouldn't last a week in the shoes of a parent who goes through this. Even if you work in a group home on a typical 8 or 12 hour shift it isn't the same as living 24/7 with a child on the spectrum. You have no idea how isolating it is, how frightening it is, and how it feels to have a child that grew within your body trying to kill you during a meltdown.

[@svetavinogradova4243]

You just need to learn to parent .

[@Robinicat]

I don't know what traditional therapies there are to help families manage the 'meltdowns' and aggressive behaviour of their children these days. Years ago castration was done in order to make aggressive, autistic boys/men calm and gentle. This happened to my husband's cousin about 60 years ago. Is hormone treatment to make males easier to manage and to help make them less volatile and happier individuals?

[@svetavinogradova4243]

@@Robinicat corporal punishment helped for centuries

[@filipeflower]

@@svetavinogradova4243 Why don't you use it on yourself?

[@dollfactory]

​@@filipeflower 😂

[@olczi7]

I work in an SEN college for autistic adults and one thing no one tells you about is that the more comfortable they get with you, the more likely you are to become their target during a meltdown as your reaction isn’t as unpredictable to them as that of a stranger.

[@xyz7572]

That is so sad and terrifying

[@user-bb2oe2hw8i]

Yes i totally agree with you. I have worked with autism for years, now retired, i had a lot of bad days, getting hit and punched, the sad thing is on a good day it is really good, but the bad days are very bad. These parents are working hard to make the best of their lives, and for their son, very sad for them.

[@FronteirWolf]

The person most likely to be at the receiving end when I 'm so distressed that I get violent is my mum. I'm generally respectful, teachers found me to be well behaved, but with my classroom assistant it was a different story. I was never violent, but I was still difficult with her.

[@Niki-mp8qe]

Yes I agree, just a sign they are comfortable and feel safe to tell you how they feel in the only way they know how

[@nat22228]

@@Niki-mp8qeor they see you as a pushover and know you’ll never retaliate so you’re an easier target to attack than someone that doesn’t put up with their abusive behaviour.

[@crismarieb6275]

The mental toll it takes on the parents is heartbreaking. Parents need support too.

[@winning3329]

Having an autistic child is extremely mentally and physically draining 😢

[@beckee6282]

Does anyone ever consider the person with autism? How hard do you think it is for THEM? Quit talking about their parents for fucks sake. Imagine how it feels to be autistic and how hard that is to deal with? There’s nothing wrong with them, they just have no support in society because most people don’t give a fuck about disabilities. They don’t care about anything unless it’s personal.

[@0ctoCraft]

@@beckee6282 thank you I am autistic and it's great to see someone who supports disabilities

[@google1030]

@@beckee6282 The parents are getting physically assaulted by the child, and have no way to stop it, so yes it is hard for them. Jesus christ how can you be so self centered? We know it's hard for the child, but being physically abused without any way to stop the abuse is ALSO a difficult sitation to live in. No autistic person would want to have to be in a situation where they are on the receiving end of that type of behaviour either.

[@ap0calypt1cs]

Completely agreed. I'm autistic and saying that someone is scared of their autistic child hurts me.​@@beckee6282

[@bilingualeducation7333]

I'm autistic. My parents were overwhelmed and didn't want more children after me. Thank God I'm independent and non violent. I used to be terrified of people and of change. I have learned to cling to God, Consistency and routines are nice but never effective 100%.

[@a-k9161]

Even God I not 100% effective if there is one.

[@lillybrandy1188]

@bilingualeducation7666 Don’t let other’s questionable comments about God disturb you one bit. A true follower of God and his written word is all that you need, along with following his guidance with prayer 🙏. Bless you and your family and keep the faith. In Jesus’ name: Amen. ✝️

[@toniwesley4467]

That mom shouldn’t feel any guilt. She did an amazing job. You can tell she’s really patient.

[@wemuk5170]

Toni Wesley Patience isn’t enough. She needs professional help from a weekly speech & behaviour modification therapist who will train her weekly to train her son all day long - daily & intensively. Behaviour modification therapy helps the anxious child communicate appropriately without recourse to violence. It’s not the child’s fault (his violence) & patience is grossly insufficient! The £150 once a week for professional therapy to train the parent is worth its weight in gold! Much better to spend all his benefits on therapy for sanity than on much needed respite. Sad but true: patience isn’t enough - if you don’t know what you are doing.

[@Sailormoonfan88]

@@wemuk5170 Try telling that to insurance companies who don't cover that!!!

[@wemuk5170]

@Kamil Debiola How can you call her son selfish & annoying? How do you know? I have a son diagnosed with low functioning autism, intellectual disability & various health issues and no one has ever called him selfish or annoying. Since 2017, I also run a pan-disability club to support all-ages, people with disabilities and mental health diagnoses, and to support their parents and carers at YMCA. No one has called any of us (so far) selfish or annoying. Who appointed you a judge over him/us? Walk your talk, friend.

[@wemuk5170]

@@Sailormoonfan88 Yes, you are right. It is a shame in some countries. However, in UK, the government usually will give that public funding as support for those who have children who are severely disabled.

[@allenbrodess8510]

@@Sailormoonfan88 Autism can be great and i wouldn't give up being an aspie but as with all great things there is a price to be paid.Kanners and Aspies are the reason you can have everything you enjoy today they invented and laid the foundation for everything of technological value..You as parents made that choice you get to pay the price in a just world even if it costs you your lives..That's called taking responsibility for the outcome of your actions/choices. Same to father as mother...You don't pay the toll no one crosses the bridge and you get to pay penance

[@dollfactory]

My gf's daughter is 21 nonverbal and frightening. I remember many times watching her pick up her little sisters and throw them across rooms. Ever since she was little and to this day whatever she's doing she puts all of her strength into it so, if she's mad you better look out! She's caused alot of pain but doesn't know it most the time....my poor friend. I feel for these families.

[@Robinicat]

Where I'm from parents are encouraged to send their autistic adult children to a home for intellectually handicapped adults. The quality of life is excellent with trained staff, nutritious meals, outings every week, duties for each resident and many even work. They make friends in the residence. Just as we expect our 'normal' children to leave the nest, parents of autistic adult children are also encouraged to let their children start their more independent lives around the age of 21. That is not to say that they are abandoned there. Parents can visit, take them out for dinner and to family events and even take them travelling if possible. It's a win-win situation.

[@KathyPrendergast-cu5ci]

That's terrible; how horrible for the younger siblings who are abused by her. No parents or children should be expected put up with constant violent abuse by a family member, no matter how much the love them and how little they can help it due to a mental disability. There was a really heartbreaking case in the USA a few years ago (there was an episode of Dr. Phil focusing on it) in which a desperate mother of a violent severely autistic 13-year-old girl tried to kill both her daughter and herself with carbon monoxide, but failed, and now faces a long prison sentence. She was battered by this girl (who was already bigger and stronger than her) almost every day.

[@weirdscience2911]

my parents taught me to be violent as well, i used to throw mt brother about the same way my parents threw me about, weird thing was i used to snuggle with my brother as he was the only love i knew, my parents made me gay.

[@Robinicat]

@@weirdscience2911 I hope you have come to terms with the life you have been dealt. Just keep in mind Weirdscience that we ALL have some kind of issues in life. Some are born with a physical deformity, some suffer lifelong medical issues due to an illness, others are abandoned at birth, and others are tormented by mental illness and cannot deal with reality. Some are born into abject poverty, others are rejected and unloved, others are bullied at school and are friendless and others suffer from autism. You can deal with your issues with help and a determination to be the best 'you' you can be.

[@sophiebyers5496]

@dollfactory Did you call child protective services?

[@saralee6710]

This is my son. It is sad, because you love your child deeply. However, when they are having an episode of violence, you are either imprisoned in your home, or must lock them off from you. I have had so many broken bones, they thought I was in an abusive marriage. For us it has been medication management, but then what makes your child your child special goes away as well. It is so hard to explain to people, and you worry about when you inevitably pass before them, how they will manage in society without people truly understanding they are not angry violent people, just unable to process and express in the same ways as others. I am lucky enough to have a large engaged family who are willing to continue care for him, as I have leukaemia, but I really believe my passing will collapse his normalcy and exacerbate his behavioural issues beyond what he does now. My husband must work to provide for the home, so I truly hope more resources or support (in-kind or otherwise), becomes standardised.

[@rikicakecreations1615]

How can you allow anybody! To touch you and abuse you?I really don't feel sorry for you allowing it.

[@TASIAawful1]

@@rikicakecreations1615 What a stupid reply

[@toriwargel]

@@rikicakecreations1615 family matters are not black and white. Regardless of hitting and abuse, he is her child and she loves him. Wants to care for him and give him a loving support system. A mother's unconditional love is pretty incomprehensible unless you are a mother yourself.

[@toriwargel]

I wish you the absolute best. You are an excellent mother. I applaud your patience and love. Much love

[@NurseSnow2U]

@@rikicakecreations1615 you’re an ignorant oaf that should never be allowed to comment on anything, EVER. How blatantly IGNORANT.

[@monty4195]

I pray he doesn’t hurt his parents when they get old and when he gets old

[@katysteele6069]

@Dr Yuching Lee stop peddling your fake herbs , herbs dont cure autism. its offensive. and i am a parent of an autistic child!

[@mariec3527]

Just so everyone knows Not every person with Autism is like this . Don't sterotype every autistic person . I have autism just a low form of it , my only struggle is socializing and making eye contact . Where as these kids have a very sever case of it and I hope there parents can get help with them cuz this isn't easy to deal with

[@TheRojo387]

What if we stereotyped every HUMAN person? Well, the stereotype would look just like Zamyatin's We.

[@shadrach6299]

No one is putting down or stereotyping all autistic people. It is understood that they are discussing some autistics

[@nowirehangers2815]

This isn’t about you

[@mattweber6505]

Autism is like fingerprints. No 2 people are the same. It manifests in infinite diferent ways.

[@Iamnottheplatypus]

Yes.

[@mingmangmung3051]

Cams parents must be soooo stressed. I can’t believe they’re still married with the amount of work to care for their child

[@allienixon8959]

They probably can’t afford to split up because they can’t take care of him by themselves

[@nathanandcherelle]

Maby because they still love eachother I don't think it plays a part

[@Bringon-dw8dx]

@@nathanandcherelle sadly many couples do break apart due to having complex needs children (severe autism included- particularly if it has a violent behavioural element). Even a strong marriage can’t always stand these life events

[@gaillewis5472]

I know several families with sons with autism and all the parents are divorced.

[@_Dynamight_]

I know people who don't get divorced. They care for each other.

[@alananmollymollynalana3748]

shoutout to those parents for having such love, compassion, & patience. i don’t think i could handle it honestly.

[@daleburrows2662]

They took the risk when they had children

[@CAUGHH]

@@daleburrows2662I’d rather be infertile than that being a chance my god

[@google1030]

@@daleburrows2662 not really, before modern times the unfit would likely pass away due to being too much burden for families to manage 24/7. It's only due to the parents' decision to be so considerate to deal with the abuse that the kid has made it this far, they have really gone above and beyond to be there for the child.

[@daleburrows2662]

@@google1030 yeah that's true... 200 years ago... when people had lot of children to help out on farms. In the 21st century however there's no excuse to abandon a child

[@kerrymurton2268]

I’m going through the same thing. My son was such a content, happy child growing up. Since he started puberty he’s become a monster. And it’s horrible to be scared of your own child but I am.

[@beaulieuc8910]

;;ad to be kidfree

[@juliabirney4853]

Talk to your pediatrician. There is help. I worked in the autism field. There are aides through schools too. If your pediatrician writes a "prescription" for your child for behavior health help, you can get help!

[@jamalkherry5296]

The background music is a tad inappropriate. The Weeknd high for this and Future Mask off aren't what I would have used tbh

[@Incognitoiscool]

Jamal Kherry molly perkiest

[@Yourfairweatherfriend]

Jamal Kherry Haha

[@maximum2918]

Jamal Kherry I thought this comment was a joke but wtf

[@andrewschulzsd]

i think they used that Logic one cause the parents want to kill themselves

[@ikshakandangwa7963]

😂😂😂😂

[@briarrose5208]

I live in the US. A friend of mine has a severely autistic son. Her husband died when their son was still a child, so she was a single mom. Her son grew up. He had always had violent outbursts, but now he was dangerous. He destroyed his bedroom and their bathroom. He attacked and injured his mother several times. He was hospitalized and sedated several times. Public school couldn’t manage his behavior either. His mom put him in a day program for kids with special needs. He came home nights and weekends. She has had to fight every step of the way to get services that were desperately needed. She always worked full time. They have never been on welfare. For years she lived in fear that her son would kill her. She finally had to put him in a residential program, which she never wanted to do. She visits him several times a week. What the parents of children with severe autism have to go through is worse than we can even imagine.

[@Paigebaby]

You never look at pictures of your baby/little one and imagine this life for them. It’s unimaginably hard, but you don’t love them any less.

[@maryam-st9ci]

😭

[@annabelenko1611]

I wouldn’t love them at all

[@Seraphime]

@@annabelenko1611no one should love u

[@daleburrows2662]

​@@annabelenko1611life is a cruel lottery. You choose to create life then you have to bare accountability if the child doesn't come out correct. Noone asks to be born

[@google1030]

@@daleburrows2662 I wouldn't say that, there's circumstances that are beyond what a parent can reasonably be expected to work with. Being physically assaulted is not okay and it's normal to not be able to deal with that or other extreme behaviour problems and care requirements.

[@heatherlorscheider7758]

My son is only 6 but his violent outburst are getting worse. It's hard to control him sometimes. I have bite scars, busted lip, and bruises. It's incredibly heartbreaking to see your child like this.

[@woodland5325]

Hope things have improved for you Heather, if you don't mind me asking how is your situation now?

[@Robinicat]

@@svetavinogradova4243 I think you should move on, Sveta. Does it really give you pleasure to hurt people as you do?

[@svetavinogradova4243]

@@Robinicat You cannot digest truth? Only unreasonable people are hurt by the truth. And this truth needs to be OUT THERE, because there are people who NEED this truth, as they will change their behaviour. I have no need to hear your personal thoughts about me - you have no right whatsoever to give orders to adults in a conversation under freedom of speech. Desist.

[@nowirehangers2815]

@@svetavinogradova4243you seem autistic

[@thebloodyquill7455]

As someone with Asperger's, I think it's incredibly unfair to the parents to have to deal with that for the rest of their lives. It's not the autistic kids' faults, and they're lashing out in pain and frustration, but at the same time they are burdening their families. They need to be put in a home of some sort where trained professionals can take care of them.

[@lavalampluva55401]

I don't blame them for living in fear. The most extreme cases, those kids have almost superhuman strength. They have the potential of causing serious damage and harm. These parents need help.

[@debraduffy9610]

I watched several videos of the Neeson Family. They are in Australia and have a 19 year old son. He bloodied his head by bashing with his fists ...screaming and but his father. I have seen the Guardian Helmet which can protect them against self harm. I also read an article about a parent in Wisconsin that had vocal cord surgery done to soften the loudness of screaming meltdowns in 2013. A family should NOT live in fear of adukt child with Severe Autism causing harm to themselves ....property destruction etc.

[@lesliemillni8715]

their parents who who did who just prayed all their lives and some of them have been healed of autism they don't have Asperger's they don't have that autism and doctors psychologist said they received a miracle you have to put your faith in the word you don't know things have happened to people in group homes institutions

[@e.a.coldrick]

@@lesliemillni8715 ummm... haha people can't be healed from autism... but thanks for playing I guess

[@ReqZi]

I am normal person and I have autism and in my opinion autism is just an excuse

[@annabellelee4535]

This violence is unfair to the other children. They need to either find a new home for the other children or for the violent child. They need to think about the welfare of ALL their children.

[@filipeflower]

What about the welfare of autistic people?

[@d.n.8919]

⁠@@filipeflowershe literally said the welfare of all the children. That includes the autistic children.

[@filipeflower]

@@d.n.8919 Wait, why are you replying to a 11 months old comment? I wasn't even asking you.

[@nychris2258]

Nope.. dont want to have kids and risk living like this. Not worth it. This is a nightmare.

[@carollima7579]

I agree

[@tthsgun]

Quite rare but understandable

[@elenasirosh2989]

​@tthsgun it's not rare. 1 in 36 kids in the US becomes autistic (2023, CDC). The numbers are growing.

[@Chamomile369]

Same. I have mild autism so my kids would guaranteed at least have it mildly, NOT risking this. I watch these videos as birth control.

[@dreamsofturtles1828]

Im not even surprised anymore when people i meet tell me their son or daughter is on the spectrum .

[@luvdanni95]

This background music has me dying, they really started played High for This by The Weeknd at one point 😂

[@rahidm4367]

I absolutely love that song 🤣🤣

[@jordanarmenta8606]

Lol 😂

[@nickinportland]

The bbc always has top notch background music 😂

[@sherylliu791]

For real lmaoo was looking for this comment

[@nskeow]

4:08 mask off by future??

[@TheBucksco18966]

Maybe he needs to be in a place were people can manage is violence. Not everyone can be cared for at home. The parents need and deserve a break.

[@doyouhearthepeoplesing2]

Why? My mum has never had a break and I’m 30 don’t hear her complaining. Parents don’t get breaks

[@alananmollymollynalana3748]

@@doyouhearthepeoplesing2 parents deserves breaks. just because you have never heard your mom complain doesn’t mean she doesn’t have any. a mother will never complain about her child to their face.

[@kkbutterfly27lover59]

the kid deserves a break

[@depnewshound]

I have a friend w a violent autistic child and he’s made the family life a living hell at times. I feel so sorry for them and all families who have to put up w this. Watching this and knowing that this is a prison they’ll never be able to escape is just tragic.

[@0ctoCraft]

the real tragedy is how your friends family seems to treat them

[@depnewshound]

@@0ctoCraft What do you mean? I never said anything about how my friend treats her child -- which, by the way, is with excellent care and love. My comment is on how the entire family is and always will be held hostage by the behavior on one child.

[@0ctoCraft]

@depnewshound their family isn't ''held hostage'' by anything

[@Blopusanian]

@@0ctoCraft I would describe being stuck with a violent child as being held hostage in a way

[@0ctoCraft]

@@Blopusanian not when you make the child violent

[@Tabitha-dx1dw]

This is exactly why I get so annoyed and irritated at people saying that autism isnt a disability. No it definitely is, most of those kids are severely mentally disabled and they're parents are trying there best with someone who rejects them constantly. Absolute hell.

[@SMCwasTaken]

No it isn't It just means your brain is wired differently and your thinking Process is more complex Think of it as having Shower Thoughts but 50x stronger and you have them 24/7

[@d.n.8919]

@@SMCwasTakenhow can you watch this video and say that this isn’t a disability?

[@SMCwasTaken]

@@d.n.8919 because lots of parents get away with abuse and label it as "Autism"

[@maxmax-vi2mw]

SEVERELY MENTALLY RETARDED. CALL IT WHAT IT IS. NOT BRIAN WIRED DIFFERENTLY. RETARDED...@@SMCwasTaken

[@cailleanmccain]

@@d.n.8919 I guess, because the cases shown are just that - singular cases, with the autistic boys being not only autistic. It is a difference being autistic or being autistic with a severe learning disability. Autism is a spectrum, a variety of traits one might be good at or not. Honestly, I would also say that being autistic disables you from being allistic, so for sake of definition you can call it a disability, because we live in an allistic world. Having said that, I also think that there should be better accommodations for autistics and better education on autism for allistics.

[@LilSplash]

I just don't get why the parents are being interviewed in front of their kids when they're literally 5 feet away. They're sitting there saying that they're scared of their kid, all while they're right next to them and ignoring them. That shit would fuck me up if I heard my parents talking about me like that.

[@beakamon]

People do this all the time. I see people on my fb page complaining about their kids all day. They definitely either hear it or feel it from their parents.

[@jamesgant2650]

I really feel for the kid when he screams, "stop that noise!" I've told my mum to stop doing the dishes because it felt like she was throwing them at the walls in my head but all that anyone can see is less than what you feel.

[@sarahebert2510]

thank you for this comment. my algebra teacher threatened to send me to the office for listening to music, but that's the best way i know to block out the loud noises in the room.

[@Anon24052]

@@KFrost-fx7dt Bullshit.

[@hajraashraf5702]

My brother does the same. He gets disturbed by the tiniest of noises. I thought he was just rude and overdemanding but now I've come to understand that noises do really disturb him more than they would another person

[@nintenalex]

@@Anon24052 Not bullshit whatsoever. Its live life turned up to 200% intensly aware of everything around you and any minute change from their normal routine feels like a disaster. Just because you cant imagine it doesnt mean it doesnt exist you plank.

[@nintenalex]

@@KFrost-fx7dt Your an idiot who shouldn't have children if your advocating parents beat their autistic children.

[@kakarotz9296]

If the council can offer you support looking after your son that’s great, but blaming them for your child’s worsening behavioural issues is wrong.

[@susanfreeman5116]

When he said ‘I can’t see you.’ I knew exactly what he meant. She isn’t being ‘mum’ in the interview, she’s being herself and he doesn’t recognise her. I’m autistic and my husband is autistic and my dad and 3/4 of my husbands grandparents and his cousin is severely autistic. Neuros are hard to read, but Autistics are much easier.

[@femilicious]

Yes when im angry at my daughter and not my normal self my daughter says i want mum..i miss mum

[@NurseSnow2U]

@@femilicious this is so sad. 😢

[@spiralrose]

Nuance is hard, I get it.

[@charlottevicarage1331]

Mum's are people too. Kids need to realise this.

[@choco1199]

He doesnt want her to talk about him🤷‍♂️

[@KbKiller42019]

I'm on the spectrum myself and the thought of possibly putting my family through this when I was younger makes me so depressed..

[@leahgracefecteau6049]

Aww sorry that you felt that way I’m sure family doesn’t want you to feel bad 😞

[@kathleenh2782]

me too. i'm on the spectrum and i'm still a kid and the thought of putting my family through this makes me sad, so i try not to bother them too much.

[@leahgracefecteau6049]

Aww

[@the5starreviewer226]

Luckilly most Autistic people aren't like that, Unless they said you did you probablly didn't.

[@allenbrodess8510]

@@kathleenh2782 Prehaps it's required for your particular situation to keep going forward but that's a really unhealthy mindset...If they are family rather than loose relatives their job is to help you and yours to help them..Your autism was created by your parents epigenetically it's not some random aliment there are conditions in the womb and just after which cause it made by your parents,socieities choices...About 90% of the worlds population HAD the potential to go that way..Those parents made other choices and got different results

[@brit3272]

excuse me, excuse me, excuse me, excuse me .. ay, look on the bright side - he has manners!

[@shanimarie409]

He actually had something to say but nobody acknowledge it .. he said "I can't see you" and seemed to do something weird with his eyes... Maybe he had a problem.. I feel sorry for him his mother didn't even asked him what's wrong why cannot he see her...

[@mariroldan9636]

@@shanimarie409 im so happy he is able to communicate because when they are non verbal it's a guessing game on what is bothering me

[@cobrafn2682]

Kagan Roy start acting mature instead of picking on people in the comment section

[@wolfgang7812]

Why didn't th mother just move out of his way. He clearly doesn't like her talking to a third party about him.

[@wemuk5170]

WolfGang THAT is just your interpretation! That he doesn’t like his mum talking with someone else. In reality this happened to me all the time in my son’s first decade & it took me years to work out that he has no problems with my talking with another person. He has a problem with having ANY free time on his hands. Now that he is such a happy young man, I see that he needs to be busy all the time with doing stuff he very much enjoys like composing, playing or performing on the piano/working out at gym, watching new trains on Ipad, etc. He has no problem & is happy with my talking with strangers at his gym, supermarket, etc. But it looked the opposite way when he was younger as I thought as you did! My autistic son just wanted my personal attention rightaway in order to give him, some simple & clear instructions or something enjoyable immediately to engage him (or else his autistic mind returns to a state of fear of the unknown/uncertainties, which realised fear triggers a meltdown).

[@intrusive-th0t]

If the child is having violent outbursts there’s always a reason. Autism does not mean “randomly violent”

[@linlegerton3482]

I worked in a school for Autistic children I always wondered how they coped at home, I couldn’t live like that, I was punched, bitten badly, fingers broken and bruised at school but I can go home or leave they can’t, poor people 😩

[@kaylynnehoelscher4297]

Time for a special home y'all deserve a life too. Don't feel guilty for doing the right thing and getting your child into placement where they can be understood better. Sending prayers positivity and healing light.

[@jessicafain6630]

Of course they're going to feel guilty. It's incredibly hard for them to be in control and not act out in frustration to the kid, and they love them dearly. So imagine how they'll be treated by strangers who don't care about them at all. Very difficult decision.

[@yellowblanka6058]

@Pye22 He could potentially seriously hurt his parents if he can't control his impulses etc. Granted, it's not his fault he was born that way, but that has to be stressful on the parents.

[@hellybelle5]

When you have children, and are devoted to them, you cannot just dump them, and especially not feel guilty.

[@ArtDesignHobby]

I think parents should be trained to deal with them...

[@yellowblanka6058]

@@ArtDesignHobby - I think they're doing the best they can, but even in the best circumstances it's hard to deal with a child that has the mentality/emotional maturity of a toddler with the size and strength of an adult.

[@lasalleman]

Big kid. Seems like a grown man physically. Dangerous to himself and others. Sad business.

[@fairymairah]

what the are you talking about? 😒😡 this was never said about non-autistics who cut themselves or hurt themselves in anyway ! ! ! ! !

[@maskedscorpio6328]

fairymairah That's literally exactly what people say about people cutting themselves what the hell are you talking about.

[@fairymairah]

+MaskedScorpio I'm talking about these so called autistic experts calling autistics' anger and being upset an OutBurst but they don't call a non autistics behavior that! it's bad enough people judge autistics and give out all this un-needed Love and Care which probably disables autistics from learning how to be independent in the first place! but every time a non autistic person get so angry and upset! it's not considered an OutBurst! but when an autistic person does it! than that's when it's called an Outburst! and it makes me want to extremely DisLike these kinds of people! And also! when a non autistic person hurt themselves like cutting themselves! that's when they're considered needing help! but when an autistic person hurt themselves like biting themselves! they get kicked out of Schools! Programs! Camps! and get to be treated like Criminals and they get Judged like alot of people before being actually Known! That's What I'm talking about ! ! ! ! !

[@fairymairah]

+MaskedScorpio and I feel like I just want to HATE these kinds people and want justice for autistics

[@courtneykurtenbach2230]

fairymairah an autistic person having an outburst is completely different from a non autistic person having an outburst. Autistic people have outbursts because they are feeling overwhelmed with sensory input or because they can't communicate what is making them uncomfortable. But outbursts CAN be very violent and intense. And unfortunately there is no way to reason with them, they just have to get through it. That is incredibly difficult for parents and caretakers to deal with. But it's just because of their condition, they can't help it. Their brains simpky work differently. A non autistic person having an outburst is different, but can certainly be just as dangerous. But those with no mental conditions don't have outbursts as frequebtly or intensely as those who do have conditions such as autism. But I have no idea where you seem to get that people are not concerned about non autistic people having outbursts. But someone cutting themself as a way of coping with stressors is nowhere near the same as someone having a violent outburst due to a mental condition.

[@vanessasimmons1175]

I don’t think I could cope with this. In fact there’s no way I could deal with it. These poor parents.

[@ThePinkAnt1]

I hate when people bash the local governments and support systems saying “they need more support”. I don’t think they understand that there is nothing they can do to help these kids.

[@KAvanAlten]

I am autistic myself, and although my mother tells me that i was a relatively difficult child to raise compared to my younger brother and sister, this is a quite whole other level!

[@charlesfraunhofer7893]

So you follow an ism, wow, no more isms for me, I have ism-phobia.

[@KAvanAlten]

@@charlesfraunhofer7893 Not once in my comment did I use a word ending with 'ism', so I am curious how you came to that conclusion, and also which 'ism' you are talking about.

[@takashi.mizuiro]

Krijn van Alten whats ism

[@mohammedsaifullah633]

Hey krijn , r u on fb

[@KAvanAlten]

@@mohammedsaifullah633 I am.

[@vonreeves17]

I am dealing with the same situation! I would not wish this on anyone!

[@katesteventon5296]

von reeves love to you. Hope things get better

[@LlamaCornAki3110ryhd]

I am autistic and your behavior disgusts me. When you had a child you signed up for anything. You should not expecting a child that will be perfect or how you want it. Imagine the struggle your child has!!

[@katesteventon5296]

Dopepe shut up troll. No parent ever expects that their child will be violent towards them or others. This has nothing to do with having unrealistic expectations for your child, being negative towards people with autism or not loving them as they are either. You imagine being scared of your own child? You imagine how painful it must be to watch your child in so much distress and pain on a daily basis?

[@BabyBunch]

Routine and rules work.

[@frak7190]

"My child hurts me and people I care about, but it's ok because they are probably upset too" Doesn't work like that pal.

[@danielsac6316]

06:22 - 10:13 I can't speak for all autistic people, nor am I justifying any violent behaviour. I am autistic and, although I don't have a learning disability (I'm, in fact, also diagnosed as an intellectually “gifted” person), I would also be tremendously upset if unknown people with cameras and lights suddenly came to my house to talk to my family in front of me as if I were a kind of freak or a zoo animal. Not once an autistic person was interviewed here, despite Cameron being able to speak. Fathering autistic people is challenging, I know, but that's why both them and support institutions need to listen to us autistic, not assuming we're violent just because we're autistic.

[@Markknott29]

My Step Son is on the spectrum and I’m afraid to say that after 7 years of living alongside him he’s slowly driving me insane, he’s ruining the relationship between me and my Wife and quite frankly I wish I wasn’t here anymore because I can’t cope 😢

[@fionagregory8078]

my autistic son has taught me great patience. Everyone who meets him likes him and says he is very polite.

[@euanstirling1866]

Emma Rose Well tbh when you are being punched by your child, I don’t think anyone should judge any of your feelings on the matter...

[@e.n7558]

I am obligated by the internet to say lol XD i honestly don't think autism is a joke and it should be taken seriously but a man has to do what the internet wants The internet can be cruel to me

[@a016202]

Everyone is lying to be polite. No one likes autistic children.

[@bruhmieter5688]

@@a016202 and you are an elitist who unironically thinks he can control his life.

[@kendallbald]

ThisIsWhy well, people like me because they got to know me and by the way people do like children with autism and if you’re going to say something as ignorant as that you’re part of the problem

[@glasshalffull4061]

Autism is a broad-spectrum disorder. That's part of the difficulty in dealing with it. One person's Autism can be minimal, while another's can be completely debilitating. And absolutely, where violence is concerned, the larger the person, the greater damage they can inflict. The struggle is great. The heartbreak never goes because as parents, we want to "make it better" and when we can't, and we have to watch a child suffer, it is the greatest pain of all. These parents have nothing to be ashamed of. I applaud them for sharing their stories and reaching out for help. God bless them!

[@hikaru9624]

Cherokee Woman agreed!

[@jaymemangano1154]

Cherokee Woman.My Uncle First wife was an décent lady Was Cherokee Most of all I found my Uncle over at Saint Thomas Hospitalisé while in en Collège!

[@gabriellaguido1441]

Cherokee Woman I have a question how do girls with bad autism deal with there period. This is actually a question I curious about and if you have the answer I greatly appreciate it.

[@leesscribbles]

My cousin is high functioning, I didnt even know he was on the spectrum in till I was told by my mom. Not many people realise that it is a spectrum like you said.

[@leesscribbles]

Cracyeccololly Kidrauhlisthelord that was difficult to tell by the way you structured your comment.

[@Titaniaqueenofthefae]

As an autistic adult, can I explain something with autism? Literally everything is like a giant ASMR video I hear every sound

[@emmawhite8280]

I am really sorry for this parents, it’s so difficult to live like this.. Their poor children look really terrified. I can’t imagine how much love and patience have this parents. I couldn’t live like this..

[@user-ev9sw4ee8j]

I used Dr Oyalo herbs for my son and now my son is completely free, his speaking and behavior is ok. His herbs is 100% working on speech delay and ASD. I met Dr Oyalo on channel and I’m happy to share my experience about it

[@Jessijitsu]

My daughter is 23 years old and autistic. Although she is no longer physically violent, she definately was when she was a child. I wound up addressing this in two ways 1) I started training in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. BJJ is a grappling art that allows the practitioner to use holds so as to control a person's body without inflicting injury. The knowledge that I could physically control my daughter without hurting her, allowed both us to feel safe. 2) Medication. While pharmaceutical intervention is never an ideal solution, I have to admit that it made a huge difference in my daughter's life. It did not solve all of our problems, or make her more 'normal', but it did help calm her down to the point where she could eventually attend classes at a regular school without being a risk to teachers and fellow students.

[@SMCwasTaken]

Why didn't you call the Police?

[@kiddosneakybeaky3934]

@@SMCwasTaken Because OP said that the violent impulses were when her autistic daughter was a child..? And besides, it seems like OP managed to help her daughter cope with them just fine.

[@jamieohare5096]

And parents of autistic kids don’t want to cause a big negative incident between our kids and the police. One bad experience means that our kids will panic every time they encounter a police officer and are more at risk of behaving unpredictably and being subjected to excessive force in the future.

[@0ctoCraft]

you could've just parented the child nicely instead of doing all that

[@mamascarlatti]

@@0ctoCraft Expert in parenting violent children, are you?

[@GrumpyOldMan9]

If they present a physical danger, they shouldn't be kept at home.

[@lumen2852]

BootxbaobaoGaming If a person replying to a comment has no idea what hes talking about either, he shouldn't be kept here.

[@peen6619]

BootzbaobaoGaming roblox pp, cant talk

[@leahanderson1576]

I love your thinking! If only you were inchar ge.

[@bengonzaga2925]

I feel so sorry for these poor parents and the siblings who have to put up with this. What a tragedy.

[@catguy4996]

Don't feel sorry for the parents- they decided to have kids in the first place! So this is exactly what they signed up for.

[@filipeflower]

@@catguy4996 Were those parents even aware of autism?

[@AutisticBrain]

@Dr Yuching Lee spam, bots, are against KZbin terms of service

[@MatyaJones]

Autistic children are not a burden they're still a blessing in their own right. So, no one "puts up with" them...They're just like any other family member...Except it takes a little more work and patience. Please be more mindful of how you use your words. Stay blessed.

[@AutisticBrain]

@@MatyaJones you are so right our heavenly father the God of all creation created autism to bless his children, remember that your Lord knows best.

[@vai559]

It’s extremely problematic that they have other children in the house too. He needs to be in a care facility.

[@filipeflower]

That depends on the facility.

[@Kiddly3000]

everyone needs to understand every person with autism is different just like any human being on this planet I have autism

[@rocky.rollcake]

Me too!!!!!! Merry Xmas! !!!!😺😺😺

[@aliens3219]

Kiddly3000 same

[@cooljackster7390]

I have autism as well but on a very low level

[@brotchenkorner3944]

jep. there is such a huge spectrum.

[@HarvesterYT]

Same. So many people believe that autistic people are always violent people who view the world as bad people and kill people in cold blood. The media makes this worse as well, immediately saying that somebody who has commited murder or terrorism is somebody who has autism or other forms of mental disablities.

[@gentlemen.7621]

I, myself, have autism, and while yes, I am extremely talented in writing, I do sometimes have aggressive outbursts. It is one of few things in life that keeps me down, and I have little control over it, because many people expect me to be some kind of natural genius, which I am not. And my god, if I get one more person accuse me of faking autism, I may just snap.

[@allenbrodess8510]

I didn't get the writing part i'm more electro-mechanical but I feel what you mean i perform many tasks well some even well better than my peers but there's sharp rigid's where i fall off just as sharply as I climb the bell curve and people expect/lash out when it hits that point and i don't keep up the standard i have with the rest..Working on it but the concepts elude me as various concepts others might find eluding are simple to me..

[@MachinaGirlRobots]

People tell me Im "making it up" when I was officially diagnosed by The United States Navy with 7 Psychologists. Even after THAT I'm told to "knock it off" or "why do you act like that" and so on...My parents just shake their head at me and then avoid me.

[@allenbrodess8510]

@@MachinaGirlRobots YOu could try the route of bringing up anthony hopkins,alan turing and so on had autism...That has appeal to some of em....but milage varies significantly and might just insert more crap as they deny that and there's easy proof of it rub in and get carried away with..They might have adverse reaction right from the go...Hopkins didnt have autism blah blah blah even tho it's right there in his biography..

[@allenbrodess8510]

@@MachinaGirlRobots could try explaining the problems you are having to them in relatable ways as well if you want to try a soft approach.... the fade out into more directness/distance after stressoverstim to not having coffee/cigs or really being with it..explain the feelings of sensory issues try and compare to more relatable symptoms like nausia being up way too long to use your head like you should but not physically dead yet..

[@allenbrodess8510]

@@MachinaGirlRobots Burnout if you are dealing with that to professional burnout

[@jennydawson6952]

No parent should have to deal with this. This is a form of domestic violence or even domestic terrorism. I know these kids cannot help Ky, but that changes nothing for the family members who are effectively victmized by these disabled children. I couldn't and wouldn't manage. No one can be forced to care for anyone, even their child. Leave it to the state. Save yourselves and your healthy children.

[@catguy4996]

"No parent should have to deal with this" Then don't have kids in the first place. If you don't want to take the chance that your child could be extremely disabled.

[@filipeflower]

@@catguy4996 That depends on a lot of factors.

[@joypeace8574]

Sadly, the care required to care for children with severe autism can cost the parents their marriage, fracture family life. Other children suffer with their mental health and physical well-being. It’s not always the best solution to provide care in the home. My heart goes out to the parents and the siblings.

[@mcsevensplays3884]

i am autistic and..... you just have to remember that the child also is suffering and you shouldn't ignore them like when he was saying "excuse me" and also the autistic son also faces challenges everyday I'm not saying the parents are in the wrong but if they are aggressive that means (maybe) that something is wrong ..... but hey good job parents for dealing with all of it

[@PeSTimE01]

When she responded to his excuse me, he said that he can’t see her while looking at her. What can she possibly do to right this wrong?

[@d.n.8919]

I understand what you’re saying, but I have a feeling the kid says “excuse me” a lot more than what is shown in this video. The mother cannot constantly give him attention when she is busy with other things. He should get some attention, obviously more than a typical kid, but he also has to learn boundaries. Autistic people are capable of learning boundaries, but it is hard work that requires the help of professionals in cases like this. The mother should not give in to the child’s every demand, just as a mother shouldn’t do with a neurotypical kid. I do think that the mother could benefit from parent training/coaching, which is an actual therapeutic intervention, because she doesn’t seem to understand how to analyze her child’s behaviors, why he is doing what he does and how to differentiate a need (like a sensory need) versus a want.

[@mizfeng1442]

I am Autistic myself and having gone through years of struggling and meltdowns, I can tell you that my parents suffered a great deal having to care for me. If I was any more severely Autistic I don't know how they would have coped - how these families are doing it is beyond me. These parents need so much more support than they're getting, and their children need to be dealt with better by professionals so that they can actually target the issues and help those who are more high-functioning develop coping methods. It's terrible that more isn't being done.

[@bigboomer1013]

GetSetPet I always thought that myself. I mean yeah we autistics had hard times but as a parent, they struggle so much becuase seeing their child having meltdowns and having trouble having friends and getting bullied alot brings alot of stress to the parent and it saddens them. I know that if I was any more low functioning, my mom will struggle with me becuase she don't know exactly how to support and make me happy and all and it hurts her to see me hurt all the time and atrugling with life.

[@lcestnick]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/envIZoOrZb-tj9k

[@malinrobbins7779]

GetSetPet nutritionfacts.org/video/best-foods-for-autism/ This may help.

[@mizfeng1442]

Thanks for your help but I really don't think broccoli sprouts are gonna cure me. I don't eat animal products and eat a large amount of those foods anyways (including broccoli sprouts.) Foods won't get rid of a neurological condition.

[@malinrobbins7779]

GetSetPet Sulphoraphane won't cure you but it will buffer the 4 main components that make up what is known as autism. Also one important thing is that sulphoraphane can only be gotten from eating raw broccoli. That's because an enzyme in broccoli breaks down a compound into sulphoraphane when being digested in your gastric juices. The enzyme breaks down at temperatures of 118 to 127°F. So if you have not eaten raw broccoli then I would suggest trying to eat a cup of raw broccoli and see if you can sense any effect :).

[@EmmaDevlin2]

Why are you overlaying rap music tho lol

[@JJ-rq1sk]

eggplant iguana it fits with the theme

[@prestonbobbitt700]

lmao i thought i had another tab open

[@Yourfairweatherfriend]

eggplant iguana Haha your random comment made me burst into laughter.😂

[@ranidayz09]

I was like I know this ain't mask off playing while showing these folks bruises lmao

[@basstion4146]

eggplant iguana IKR WHAT IS UP WITH THE LOGIC LIKE

[@thegizzardofmars7453]

I work with children like this. I used to be scared of being clocked/bit/shoved about by the ones that are my size, but one has to understand that they don't mean to hurt anyone and they're just frustrated because they can't communicate. When they're taught the right coping skills, they're just like anyone else.

[@natesportyboy4939]

I think anyone who works in that field should read the poem "Two Houses" by Henry Frost, an autistic boy who is just like the children you used to work with, and they should read it before they start their first day on the job.

[@thegizzardofmars7453]

@@natesportyboy4939 I still work with them. But yeah, people really should stop saying all that nonsense about them being a burden or "lucky" to have what any neurotypical child does. They can't help their condition and they're only "difficult" if one refuses to understand them.

[@liamwatson5125]

The ones who clock/bite/shove will get arrested and charged with mayhem, battery, and grievous bodily harm, and the handcuffs will not come off their wrists until they are placed in their jail cells. Their way of communication is a criminal offence.

[@kellybarber5118]

Can you share some coping skills that work and stop them having violent outbursts that can hurt other children?

[@lesliedavidson2127]

I'm currently dealing with this with my 19 year old. He's a sweetheart most of the time but when that rage comes out, God help me. When he was little, I could control it more but now he's bigger than I am and has the strength of a large man. God bless this family. I hope more services become available to them.

[@user-ev9sw4ee8j]

Thank you Dr Oyalo for healing my son from autism. And I want to share about him to every one. His herbs has made my son verbal and Improve in social skills

[@AdamAbdullah1]

The choice of music in this is horrible

[@jg7157]

aaa aaa yeah like they’re playing future over an autism documentary

[@fir3y569]

I know right. who would put wolves on this? lmao

[@shara5309]

Why would they freaking put Logic 1-800.

[@undefinedelijah72]

AGREE

[@maybelikealittlebit]

Zip Zap I died lmao

[@nachowarrior1]

Dude I love hip hop as much as the editor, but there is a time and place for it outside of a video of autistic children

[@DD_MENEN]

Sorry comment is true but funny at the same time😢😂

[@ashleym.2981]

Yea I was like "Is 'Mask Off' really appropriate right now?"

[@sarahdls382]

LMAO

[@KarryUndercover7]

nachowarrior1 THEY PUT THE INSTRUMENTAL OF THE WEEKND’s “HIGH FOR THIS“

[@user-s0m30n3]

@papa shrek no u

[@ashleyboyd2764]

Yeah it's tough to have a child with disabilities. It's also tough that people have no idea what they are doing as well.

[@jackdonovan554]

I really hope we find a way to help these families. How will parents cope when they are elderly?

[@AmandaJ__]

Good point

[@piscesempress1978]

I worry about that everyday.

[@Sam76889]

@@piscesempress1978me too

[@toocutepuppies6535]

This is a way bigger problem than most realize. We really do need institutions for these kids. This kills parents, emotionally and ultimately physically. The long term stress these parents are under is unimaginable and will contribute to illness that will ultimately make them unable to care for their other children. It's shameful we can't do more to help.

[@Hello_Kitty_Fan]

I don't think we need institutions, institutions back then were really neglectful with little staff to care for those with disabilities. Sometimes, abuse would take place in institutions. I think these families need TONS of support from programs who are supposed to help those with autism and they're families.

[@vanessasimmons1175]

At the end of the day parents will be too old to cope so they’ll end up in adult care anyway

[@Robinicat]

Here in Montreal, Canada, there are residences for adult children with intellectual handicaps but they are not institutions. They are set up in homes as families. There are two systems. Some live in the home of a person who has elected to welcome them into their home. Another system is where the same few caregivers come and go to the home bought and owned by parents. Most have their own bedrooms. The higher functioning 'clients' live in different homes than those who are lower functioning. And those who work with lower functioning adults are paid more. Their workload and stress are heavier. Life in the homes is excellent. Very nutritious meals are offered (government regulations). Almost all of the higher functioning clients work and some can even be trained to take a bus to their jobs. Others go in taxis. So the house is empty during the day. The caregiver oversees the health of the clients, taking them to medical appointments etc.. The clients are expected to be neat and tidy, load and empty the dishwasher, make their beds, collect laundry from the rooms etc.. There is a chore roster on the wall. Volunteer musicians often visit on a Sunday for sing-alongs. The clients are signed up for different activities in the evenings and weekends such as bowling, swimming, a dance party, cooking and crafts. They have special outings to a nature reserve etc... They are kept active and engaged....just as we are. The lower functioning adults cannot work. They may go swimming and to a gym program and even to a special summer camp and they have volunteers to entertain them with singing, drawing, dancing etc.. Families of the clients are welcome to visit, take their children out for the day or the weekend or on holiday as they like. Basically by age 21 it is the norm for parents to place their adult, intellectually handicapped children in a residence but they are still in contact with them....just as our 'normal' children leave home and make friends, work and live independently. Life is excellent for those with intellectual handicaps...as it should be.

[@toocutepuppies6535]

@@Sarah-yy6hv It's not always the first child who has special needs.

[@FloKarlos-dj7nb]

​@@Sarah-yy6hvautism often Shows at the earliest Point at 1,5 - 2,5 years. Many mothers that want more children will BE pregnant by that point

[@dinolandra]

These kids don't get therapy or medication. They should have emphasized that more in this video.

[@jake1173]

dinolandra The thing is, i got therapy even though i was top of my class, I had autism, but it was very minimal, but my younger autistic brother, who is more severe than mine, didn't get much treatment.

[@dinolandra]

SparkyTheFox that's pretty messed up. My husband is high functioning and did well without therapy but his family members who are low functioning didn't get as much help and aren't nearly as successful in life

[@dinolandra]

chibi hungary yeah but they focused more on the parents' struggle rather than the children's, and i don't feel like that will really help the children.

[@dinolandra]

chibi hungary i think educating the parents as well as giving therapy to the students will help them. I am lucky to live in a metro area where i can receive both for my son. Autistic children are not emotionless machines who can't be understood. They just react to things differently and think a different way. Too many parents with children on the spectrum don't understand that.

[@heathercameron1485]

dinolandra The thing is therapy and mess don't completely stop meltdowns. It certainly helps don't get me wrong but you can't completely get rid of their "challenging behaviour" (as the new pc term goes).

[@xZOOMORPHICx]

@9:29 Do you see that 1,000 yard stare right before she says "Yes, Cam?" I know that feeling all too well. She wants to scream her head off.

[@carriebizz]

I am in Australia and our 15 year old daughter has autism but we are lucky that she is high functioning and while she needs a routine and can get very vocal and has to be the centre of attention at home. However she is never violent. I can empathise with how hard raising an autistic child but I can only imagine how these families feel.

[@denise6896]

The issue with autism is it's not one thing. Autism is like having a sore throat. It could be allergies, strep throat, or bubonic plague. All cause sore throat, but the rest of the symptoms can may be minor to almost deadly. I'm lucky my children are very high functioning, and most of the issues are social queues. Other than that fine. I know many that is not so.

[@cargoloyalty9978]

I just wanted to say I love your analogy!

[@Swedmonkei]

@Jack park You obviously have no idea what you're talking about. I have high functioning autism and sure, I can act appropriately and people always like me (at first). But whenever I have to spend en extended amount of time with people they will always get the feeling that something is off, hence why I have very few friends who stick around. It's also absolutely exhausting for me to be social with people, I need about maybe 6 hours of just sitting at home completely alone to not burn out, which makes managing uni/work/social life extremely difficult.

[@Fizzywoz]

You make it sound like a disease when you use that analogy. Everybody on the spectrum is unique with their own set of challenges and abilities. I'm autistic myself. I can make friends but sometimes struggle to maintain friendships. Just like any other human my ability to do things can vary.

[@Samuel-ku1qb]

Denise I’m high functioning (Aspergers) and it’s very hard at times but I am always glad that I’m not as low functioning as others.

[@RhiannaBarr]

@@Samuel-ku1qb me too. It just saddens me that ALL people on the Spectrum (us high functioning types mainly) are lumped together with the lower functioning types) and are all seen as intellectually delayed, violent and otherwise a burden to society.

[@user-xm5jm3im8y]

'gO uP!' 'gO uP!' 'GO UP!' 'dON'T SPEAK TO ME' No seriously I feel so bad for that kid and his parents

[@ninapearman]

Lmao

[@user-zb1qt9fg4d]

@Psychedelic Tunnel unfortunate fact

[@FowlorTheRooster1990]

@Psychedelic Tunnel what do you mean about that

[@KennethRachel-xi7dv]

Autism is something that in a human needs to be disciplined we all must have discipline.

[@HonestlyHolistic]

That‘s not how it works

[@JohnDLeo-rg8tc]

it seems as if they are slapping the autism label on what looks to me like madness verging on raving madness. The parents are completely shattered with their spirits broken, lone moms are defenceless.