I'm Worried For Our Future As My Husband's Ultimatum Did Not Go To Plan r/Relationships

[@nikoking825]

"He disrespected me in my house snd I'm the MAN of the house." Dude it's not YOUR house. If you want to be the "man of the house," the buy a house!

[@HodajuciParadoks]

THIS! ....if you do not own that house you are not a man in that house XD, buy a house move there and make your own rules.

[@rojax_thevoicetm2385]

Lmao real shit!

[@ryanmackenzie6109]

Not only that,"I love Matt but _I_ can never forgive _HIM."_ Forgive HIM for WHAT?? YOU played stupid games, man. You just got put in your place and you don't like it!

[@radish6740]

$1000/mo for a 5 bedroom home with a huge yard is a steal anywhere in the US. Wtf has stepdad been doing with his all his disposable take home income all these years? What a marooon to fck up his free ride out of his own greed.

[@babybookworm003]

Exactly I pay 400 a month room and board and that’s still below market value

[@OtisFlint]

He makes $2500/mo and has 3 kids, he can only survive being rent free.

[@kaykay8855]

Story 1: Stepdad wanted to make op’s son pay rent for the house that he doesn’t own. Stepdad f*cked around and found out.

[@Sherwoody]

Joe doesn’t make a lot of money, but he was living for free. How was he never able to save any money.

[@robertx8020]

@@Sherwoody Wasn't living for free (but still should have money left) as he payed for utilities, food, the kids and now (because his ego is to important) rent! And helping his parents ,,,so yeah he could have no money left And all of this could be fixed by saying "sorry" ..what an idi*t

[@lynnw7155]

But OP claims "Other than that, everything in the house is perfect"??? No, it isn't. Geez, OP wake up and smell the coffee.

[@Nielak-dg8nj]

@@robertx8020 He is lying about helping his parents. I mean its possible, but they way his parents reacted in the story its not very likely.

[@robertx8020]

@@Nielak-dg8nj explain please?

[@maryjanedodo]

The oldest son's dad was THIRTY YEARS OLDER than OP - OP was groomed - she moved in with him straight after high school & gave birth at 18! With a 47yo!! Not sure how that detail was glossed over...

[@brianaschmidt910]

Ultimately, it wasn't important to the story. It sucks yes. But unfortunately, it's not the topic up for debate.

[@Vipre-]

She was 18 when her son was born, Jake was 50. Even if we assume it was shortly before she turned 19 it's still not any better.

[@ebagentj]

My mind went to this as well. This lady seems to have been put on a path to make bad decisions regarding men from an early age.

[@shadowkissed2370]

@@Azulakayes not necessarily, it can explain why she didn't immediately react the way she should have to her husbands actions and why she didn't see anything wrong with his toxic "man of the house" ego trips.

[@SamasBananas1]

I was coming down here to comment the same thing. People are dunking on OP for making bad decisions and being a bad parent when it seems like she was never given a chance to be good at those things

[@kanelovec4315]

So he was going to pocket that $500 behind op's back. He knew matt was hidding his bs for years so he thought he could do it again.

[@OuchingTigerLimpingDragon]

OP's sister: "Don't insult my boy! There's nothing wrong with his behavior!" Also OP's sister: "I can't do this anymore, I want a normal kid, his behavior is unbearable!"

[@SLTheOneAndAwesome19]

Story 2: This line stuck out to me from OP's update: "I'm not mad at them for blaming me. I understand that my sister is still their family and they're rightfully in shock and want someone to blame." OP, *you're* still their family! Poor OP is so used to being scapegoated that she doesn't even realize the hypocrisy in their reasoning.

[@user-kl8lo6rj5i]

That stood out to me too. OP is way too forgiving of people who don't deserve it. The sister was probably some kind of a golden child used to getting her way. OP needs to step back from her own family and not let them take advantage and screw her over. They sound like the kind of family that would do that.

[@salomerodriguez5145]

Yeah, that irked me too. Seems like OP is the "oh and there's OP, I guess" in the family. Not really considered part of the nuclear family but more like the friend of your child that's always tagging along even though noone invited them.

[@toxicginger9936]

If you can't love "another man's child" like your own, DON'T MARRY A WIDOW WITH A CHILD! Epic AH.

[@faeriefire78]

Am I mathing wrong in #1, or was OP 17-18 when she got pregnant with her son by a 50 year-old man? 😳

[@neru1584]

No wonder OP got married to ANOTHER trashy man, she already was groomed into accepting this type of behavior. Jesus Christ dude

[@Vipre-]

No, your math is mathing. Barely 18 and 49 at best.

[@maryjanedodo]

Yep, she said she moved in straight after highschool & gave birth at 18 to her 47yo partners baby 🤢 groomed.

[@Ginamm13579]

Did they ever say how old matts father was??

[@jr5557]

@@Ginamm13579yes in the update she said that her oldest was born when his dad was 50

[@SimpleWerks]

Story 1 - You also hear a lot on Reddit about when the parents find out when the kids are teens that their step parent treated them wrongly but due to wanting to keep their bio parent happy because the bio parent still treats them well and loves them, they don't rock the boat. I had friends and knew folks like that in HS. The mom loves her kids by the sound of it but son probably was either intimidated by the step-dad or didn't want to upset his mom. This was just the final point because there was no way in hiding this and the step-dad probably thought OP would side with him (stupidly not thinking of who actually owns the property).

[@maryjanedodo]

I think a lot of parents are willfully ignorant about their kids feelings. They know they're putting their needs/wants before their kids.

[@SongBird101]

Story 1: wait a minute, I’m like 99% sure I’ve heard this story from the son’s perspective Edit: now that I’ve heard the full story and update there are some differences, but holy crap how does this situation happen more than once?

[@michellej7831]

Yes i think so too.

[@eden-chrli]

It's a similar situation but not the same. The other one had a bio dad and stepmom rather than a bio mom and stepdad

[@SongBird101]

@@eden-chrlimaybe there’s a 3rd story out there, cause the one I’m thinking of is definitely another bio mom and step dad. The stepdad was a complete deadbeat that didn’t work

[@DeterminedToImprove]

@@SongBird101not the same story. This stepdad has a job unlike the other one although both are just as douchy. I also don't remember them being married in the other story and there's no mention of them having kids. In this story it sounds like the guy's dad died 15 years ago while in the first story it was more recent

[@thomasjoseph5876]

There are dozens of versions of this story from the son (and some from a daughter's perspective). I find them all amusing. How did this subject never come up in all of the years the mother and stepfather were married??? Most of the versions of this story are probably fake but they are still very entertaining LOL.

[@carlrood4457]

"Hard to love another man's kid". THEN DON'T MARRY SOMEONE WITH KIDS! I'm cool with not wanting to date single parents. That is a choice everyone is entitled to make and is in the best interest of the kids.

[@toxicginger9936]

THIS! Especially a WIDOW, where there is no possibility of the other father being there.

[@poetryqn]

Story 1: I get everyone's opinion on the stepfather, but did nobody catch that OP was only 18 when she had Matt, and that Matt's father was FIFTY? That's messed up right there.

[@camillej4593]

Oh my god I did not catch that…🫢

[@littlepeeper9223]

Her sister really thinks it helps her chances of childcare with verbal abuse and harassment. She is not the sharpest knife in the drawer. 😂😂

[@lynnw7155]

And she's going to home school this kid when he gets kicked out of kindergarten???

[@cl5470]

That story is so obviously fake. Childfree people don't even try to make it believable.

[@judelbugsrutter6727]

💯

[@marshawargo7238]

I was more thinking about having him 24/7 instead of getting an 8 hour break from him, 5 days a week😢!!! Sis will eventually have a psychotic break down, maybe even drive her car with both her & her son into a body of water😢!!! This is my opinion before the update😊!

[@littlepeeper9223]

@@marshawargo7238 Having children is somewhat different from playing the SIMS, children need to be looked after, loved and corrected if they are assholes. Sometimes people just need to stay in front of the computer and not procreate.🤣😂

[@KE-hr4sb]

S1: OP was groomed, gave birth at 18, and was left nothing. Yikes. All that aside - her husband didn't own the house, didn't pay mortgage himself, and tried to charge a kid that isn't his rent? Without talking about it to his wife and the mother of said child? OP has terrible taste in men, is what I'm getting. But hey, if she kisses up to her son, she could be set for life. AND she didn't even notice her husband was mistreating her son! She's been absent in her own marriage and is a shit mother. She knew from day one what kind of man he was ("If he knew I didn't own the home he would never have moved in"), and chose to marry him anyway. The way she talks so casually about he can pay, he can stay behind (OK, it WAS his fault) and divorcing him like it was just another day...did she actually love either of her husbands? Or was she just looking for another paycheck and someone to help her raise the kids? S2: "How do I get them to understand her kid is a nightmare?" Easy: Tell them to babysit and see how long it takes for them to nope out and start coming up with excuses as to why they can't. "Sister said friend should have been sterilized and never passed her issues onto her kid." Response: "Really? If that's what you think, maybe YOU should have been sterilized, because (judging by description of her son), YOUR son may well be on the spectrum, too. Burying your head in the sand and pretending there's nothing different about him doesn't make it go away, it just makes you a shit parent." Oh, look at that, they're already coming up with excuses! Having a kid doesn't make you unable to babysit, lol. My sister has a kid, and she babysits my three whenever my husband and I go on a date. And neither is being in their 60's. They are all just hypocrites.

[@LadyBern]

I feel like if we found out which state they live in we'd have an "oh that makes sense, still very very wrong but it makes sense now."

[@poohbear4515]

S1: “He should be the man of the house and have authority” in a house HE doesn’t own. He’s too proud of himself to stoop so low in apologizing to his stepson because he demanded money from him. What did OP see in this guy?? Joe married OP knowing she had a son, but treated him like shit while caring and taking his bio kids on fun stuff. Joe is the biggest misogynist AH and deserved to not only be thrown out of the house, but also lose his family’s help as well. I’d also say OP is %75 the AH as well for just being so blind and not even trying to stop her husband after he tried to dictate what he wants in Matt’s house.

[@squirrel670]

She had a baby with a 50 year old man at 18. That explains a lot to me about what she accepts from men when that has been her experience

[@shebakoby]

in a house that he doesn't own and a child that is NOT his, on top of that! He should have NO say about his stepson, PERIOD.

[@shebakoby]

Narcissists particularly coverts like Joe, are obsessed with "winning" - and in their twisted minds, successfully making their partner choose between them and the partner's pre-existing children is "winning". Some play the gaslighting waiting game like pros, and others are really stupid like Joe.

[@nyxspiritsong5557]

S2.......op really needs to stop apologizing for her family's crap behavior. They'll dump the nephew on her the second they can. They can be in shock and upset all they want, but have no reason to blame her. As op stated..... the abandoment was planned. Even the family dynamic she describes sounds like she's the scapegoat. I think she should probably go low contact with the family. She can contact the case worker and request VISITATION with the nephew if she wants. Eta.... thank God for safe haven laws. I truly wonder how many children's lives have been saved by allowing this. As unstable as sister was i wouldn't have put it past her to...go to extremes

[@vanzy01]

👍🏿💯

[@Violexie-wb7op]

Agreed, if you watch videos by the channel miserymachine, they cover stories of children who die from abuse. I think there'd be more deaths from child abuse without safe haven laws.

[@ebagentj]

Story 2: I was thinking along the lines of the last commenter, that OP has clearly been made the scapegoat of her family. The sad thing is, with her said that they are just lashing out at her because they are upset about her sister, it sounds like she understands and accepts this. She shouldn't have to accept to being made the whipping boy just so she can get the slightest bit of attention and affection from her family.

[@DocKrazy]

He's been sooooo sooo sorry. For sooooo soooooooo long Which is why it only came up when he was caught. Checks out

[@greendiamondglow]

OP 2's family know sis's kid is a nightmare. Their excuses are so weak.

[@JK-sh8rc]

Funny I don't hear any of OP's family offering to babysit the sister's son. Their excuses are laughable.

[@judelbugsrutter6727]

💯

[@marshawargo7238]

Call CPS, Yesterday😢!!!

[@carlrood4457]

I have a single sister who not only babysat for us, she'd come over and help out 4 kids with homework and often did dinner for them. She's a teacher in our school district and our house is in her way home. We never demanded she do anything. It was either requested or she volunteered because she loves ours kids. If she was unwilling or unable, we'd figure it out. When she travels, I do things like water her grass and get her mail. Still do it even though my kids are past needing a sitter. I think OP's nephew's issues are besides the point. It's a question of respect and courtesy. Note how she mentioned her friend's politeness.

[@MovableNu]

Story 2: Oof! As bad as the sister was, it’s far better that she’s out of her son’s life. With the level of desperation she was reaching? Leaving town is probably the least damaging thing she was thinking of doing 😬😳😱

[@niyablake]

Kid sounds like he is autistic

[@cpaul9269]

S1 -So, big tough alpha male went running to mommy and daddy to fix HIS mess?! Bwahaahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!

[@heatherdickau5335]

Story 1 The ultimate UNO reverse card played and game over.

[@forthebeans]

I feel so bad for the kiddo in story 2, he must be miserably overwhelmed. It’s so hard to have so much to process without proper support and understanding.

[@JK-sh8rc]

Story 2: OP sounds more mature and compassionate than her parents.

[@linola644]

Story 2 : I probably would have sent an email or called cps on the sister tbh, ignoring her kid problems like that is abuse

[@kanelovec4315]

I glad op didnt take her sister's kid that day or any other day leading to her run. Op would have been forced to "adopt" or care for nephew until sister decided to return for him. Guilted by family to take responsibility of the kid without help and not call police or other services to help sense it would make sister look bad.

[@andreacorteztasayco1642]

I will never understand people who marry parents with no intention (at least) of having a good relationship with the stepchildren. If he/she has children, you are marrying the whole package!

[@susanyoung1600]

If a 60 year old can't babysit their grandson occasionally they need to be in a home. I'm 71 and watching my toddler grandson while his parents go back and forth from the NICU for their daughter. They just can't be bothered.

[@robertx8020]

NO! There is can't as in 'we don't want the added stress' and 'we can't because we are not able to do so' And everybody is free to refuse That you are used as a free babysitter is on you. NOBODY is entitled free babysitters Maybe you are mentally unstable? time to put you in a home /s

[@mindyschocolate]

Yup. My parents are in their late 60’s and watch their 4 yo and 2 yo grandkids.

[@robertx8020]

@@mindyschocolate Good for them so what does this prove? They either want to or are forced to... Nobody is entitled to their help!

[@jemase7931]

"How can I get my family to understand " But telling them to watch the boy, themselves, a couple of times. Sounds like nephew got his behavior from his mother.

[@ashleighcavenett3108]

That poor kid isn’t a nightmare, he’s living a nightmare

[@momo382844]

Why did OP marry this crybaby? There had to be some red flags before this point.

[@thomasjoseph5876]

Because she isn't much better than he is. There is no way she totally "missed" how Joe was treating her son all of those years. More likely, she was just ignoring it hoping it would miraculously get better on its own.

[@bubblegum_flavor551]

@@thomasjoseph5876 Because the son hid it. You can’t find out if you don’t know.

[@Vipre-]

Well at 18 she did have a kid with a 50-year-old so her judgment at the time is questionable.

[@tgbedini]

@@bubblegum_flavor551 I paraphrase, "whenever I would be gone for a meeting or vacation, husband took his kids to a bunch of fun things, but never stepson. Husband told OP stepson just didn't want to go." And not once, in all those years, did OP talk to her son, ask how they got along, got some facts. I was also a bit confused about OP going on vacations, and leaving her kids and husband behind.

[@MrJpaynebb]

I get that it's difficult sometimes to raise another man's or woman's child but once you get married and have kids with the surviving parent you at minimum have to treat that minor child like family at least. Joe couldn't even do that. Taking Matt out along with his own kids when their mother was out of town really isn't a big ask. No wonder Matt was so quick to escalate things since Joe never really embraced him as even a family member.

[@Sherwoody]

S1: Stepdad : I’m the man of the house. Matt: I’m the man. Piss off.

[@wildblue0]

Story 2: My grandmas babysat me and I was born when they were in their 70s. It's never too late to bond with the grandkids, assuming they're in good health. Plus, theres two of them to corral the demon child. Bro would also be a much better option since he has kids and the cousins can play together. I'm betting his kids have behavioral issues after playdates so his wife said "oh *hell* nah!"

[@kateajurors8640]

What's up with all these parents leaving nothing to their spouses when they pass?? Like not even the lake house I. Don't know I was like nothing was left to her in this story and it seems to be a running trend It's like the Partners don't trust each other or like each other.They're just comfortable with each other and leave everything to the kids

[@Vipre-]

They weren't married, plus leaving it to your kid(s) ensures that a future spouse can't screw them out of it as it can never become marital property in a future marriage. There's also likely an inheritance tax benefit to it.

[@cindykq8086]

Turns out he was smart not to trust OP. She didn't have her son's back until it was in her own best interests.

[@CurliFox]

They werent married. Plus, he was a 50 year old man dating a high schooler. He was a scumbag.

[@maryjanedodo]

Well the dad was a creep who groomed & impregnated a teenager so....

[@DragonbornMike-ym2er]

They weren't married, but I'm guessing the age gap plus how OP seems to handle problems, honesty, and accountability. I think the ex understood she wouldn't be the most responsible with it.

[@blackwolf1216]

Story 1, OP's soon to be ex is definitely a massive AH, but OP is an AH too because first of all she didn't tell her ex about the housing/finance situation, if she felt he couldn't be trusted with that information then she shouldn't have been with him. Secondly did she never think to ask her son what his relationship with his stepdad was like, also she clearly didn't give her son a say about the stepdad living with them despite it being his house

[@xelectrix]

Yes! The lack of communication between people in this story along with not knowing what's going on in their own home is concerning.

[@DragonbornMike-ym2er]

Yeah, she admitted to just blatantly lying to get him to move in. She doesn't care to get involved and fix the problem until it keeps escalating. But the comments are all like "you go girl!" Bruh.

[@GalliaUchiha]

Story 1 the OP is just grateful her son hasn't thrown her and his siblings out.

[@kichikitsu]

S2: 😬😬 ugh. OP's sister reminds me of my own mother. I'm on the spectrum and my mother would constantly cause me to break down as a little kid due to being overstimulated 24/7. She constantly yells; she would yell RIGHT into my ears (woo! wonder why ive had tinnitus from a young age!) and if i ever said anything like "stop yelling" she would purposefully start screaming. into my ears. and then whenever i would have a meltdown she would pelt shit at me, pull my hair, hit me - all that good shit to "shut me up." (the abuse never left physical marks. which leads me to believe that OP's sister almost definitely physically abused her kid, too. "physically healthy" doesn't mean no abuse happened, it just means no marks were left behind.) ... also. lmao. my grandma was in her 80s when i was a young kid. she + my uncle (who lived with her) would be my mom's to go to babysitters for me. they were a safe haven for me. so lmfaoooo at "60s being too old to babysit." my grandma broke her hip when i was... 6? 7?-ish??? and still babysat me even in a walker. if they wanted to, they WOULD. this family is just a bunch of hypocrites and i hope one day OP will learn that and stop being so forgiving.

[@everlasting9292]

My grandmother is 74 and babysits her great-grandchildren all the time. Has since they were toddlers!!!

[@wheelsndealz]

Story 2. Wait, shes so vocal against mental illness/disorder. Sounds like shes projecting. Kid blows up at loud noises and gets overwhelmed. Said the autistic woman should have been sterilized. Is her son autistic? Obviously dont wanna be the "kid is acting like a monster, must he autism" type but man wouldnt that be one hell of a karmic thing. Hopefully the kid can get some help and become better. I was thinking, since shes ok with babysitting when the baby is well behaved she could have told sister that if she got him therapy and he got better she'd be more than happy to babysit him.

[@Jud3ee]

My 70 year old grandma babysat me every week when I was little. If op’s parents are well enough to argue, they are probably well enough to babysit.

[@theshygirlnextdoor8337]

To be fair, I told my mom my stepdad was mistreating both of us and her response was, “well I’m not divorcing him so idk what you want me to do about it.” I put up with a lot of shit because of the rose colored glasses my parents wore with their partners. Now my mom can’t figure out why I don’t go out of my way to be near her and my stepdad.

[@petitmains]

Story 1: the highest price you can ask a proud arrogant person (also narcissist) is ask them to apologize and do better. One person in my entire family has been capable of it. Which is why my Dad is my #1.

[@TimesUp8888]

Ok, how were they married for 15 yrs with 3 kids and Joe didn't know who owned the house they lived in???

[@rocmsocem]

Holy crap lol, the sister was gonna abandon the child at her house. That's why she was so explosive and went directly to the house lolol

[@tyronemadison2573]

Crazy how the parents were "too old" to babysit but now have the kid full time😂 Also, everyone dogging her were in on this.

[@heatherweir8726]

Story two. At least ops nephew will get the help he needs. Op to family. Even if I did babysit the day she wanted me to she still would have abandoned nephew. She quit her job sold her car and house and had a letter ready. This tells me she planned this well in advance. So wether i babysat or not would not have made any difference. Stop bringing it up or direct your anger towards sister.

[@shebakoby]

story 2: NO NO NO. CALL CPS ON YOUR SISTER, OP. DO IT *NOW* FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY. That's the ONLY way he'll get help soon enough. You do not want that woman raising that child. Sister sounds like a fullblown cluster of Bees (ONLY refers to abusive/neglectful instances of Cluster B - not sure which one but heavy on the narcissistic traits) that may have graduated from Golden Child Syndrome and she sounds like the Golden Child to the parents. OP sounds like the scapegoat. EDIT: Oh wow. Sis did the expected-for-a-narcissist behavior and outright abandoned her kid! At least he's getting help now.

[@mikouf9691]

Joe was out of order for trying to extort rent for a house he doesn't own without discussing it with his wife, the presumed owner. But OP is also also wrong. How did she get married and stay married for FIFTEEEN years and never told him that the house they all live in belongs to her son? That's a ridiculous lack of communication or it's a very concerning level of deception.

[@DragonbornMike-ym2er]

Yep, I thought the same thing. Plenty of red flags to go around. And to be honest I'm a bit doubtful of the honesty from someone that lies to their partner like that.

[@CensorshipVictim]

Story 1 INFO: how do you live in a house for 15 years and not know who owns it? Just curious 🤨

[@kodomoshawn6729]

That sister sucks as a mother. Not only is her kid extremely difficult to be around, but that poor kid is suffering. I have sensory issues as an adult but they were so much worse when i was a kid. People don't understand how it feels. People think that having sensory issues means that you just get annoyed too easily when that is not the case. It's like your nervous system is cringing. You touch the wrong kind of fabric and suddenly your whole body feels wrong and you want to escape it but you can't escape your own skin. Smells are too strong and there's too many and they're everywhere and you feel sick and you hate it but there's nothing you can do to make them go away. Lights are too bright, everything's too bright, flickering lights give you a headache and everything starts to look like the contrast has been turned up too high. You feel like you can hear every little sound, it's too loud, there's too much noise, and it keeps building and building and you feel like your head is going to explode, you just want everything to stop, you just want a moment of peace, but you can't make it stop. You feel helpless and everything feels hostile and horrible and you don't know what to do or why you feel this way. So you do the only thing you can do. You cry. You cry and you scream because everything feels unbearable and maybe if you scream loud enough you can block it all out and maybe get just a moment that doesn't feel like torture. That, is what meltdowns are. It's when you feel like everything's built up so much that you can't keep it inside anymore. You explode. What that kid needs is to be taught how to cope with his big emotions so that the anger and frustration doesn't build up like that. And his mother should be providing him with things liek sunglasses and headphones/ear plugs, so that lights and sounds aren't too overwhelming. I have a lot of experience with troubled kids, I WAS one, and they aren't angry or difficult "for no reason". They aren't trying to inconvenience you. They need help, they just don't know how to ask for it or what can even be done.

[@fridaytax]

Story 1: OP's obliviousness to what was happening in her house between her husband and her son makes me concerned that she is a middle school teacher. What is happening right in front of her face at school that she is blithely ignoring?

[@RayvenLunaNite]

I'm mother to a special needs 12yo girl. I JUMP at every resource every school and medical professional offer. Why? THEY HAVE CONNECTIONS IN PLACES I CANT REACH. Valuable information and tools. Resources arent insults. it's someone saying, "i see your struggle, heres some free help." Negligent mom

[@HamsterPooh]

Why do people see children that live with them as "someone else's" children? They're not property. That's a person, a young person you can get to know and form a bond with. That's someone who depends on you, so you should feel obligated to protect them. People who see an unrelated kid they're raising like that must see their own children as their property and not people.

[@LoFi_Punk]

Story 2: I just want to add that my stepfather is 65 and we built a garage together, so he could build a custom Ford model A. I have had no part in building the car and he's doing it all by himself. I question the parents claiming "we're too old" because it really feels like that is their excused to offload responsibilities to someone else

[@keepdancingmaria]

OK, I have listened to the update now. OP is SO MUCH an asshole. This level of refusing to be a good mom took determination. She made it her job to be a bad, neglectful mom and never ask any questions about any of it. Take Joe's "fun" trips with the other kids for example. He repeatedly told OP that Matt "didn't want to because it was kid stuff" So... where was the question of "Why don't you and Matt ever do more grown up stuff without the kids?" That's simple enough. Also, she was the ONLY one to EVER go to a teacher's meeting? BOTH parents are supposed to go to those meetings. She never thought it was strange, like ever, for Joe to always hand those off to her? And that those teacher's meetings where he should've been there, were always filled with activities that Matt was excluded from? It isn't like he was out trying to increase his income, no. He was out spending time and money on her other children. And yet, when Matt says that he hadn't been treated like a son, she was like, "Wut du yu meen?" What do YOU mean... You effing SAW it happening. I'm so boiling mad at her.

[@flamelily2086]

OP can't babysit her badly behaved four year nephew when she has her friend's baby. His behaviour would be dangerous for the baby. The sister is the most uncaring, irresponsible parent I have ever heard of. She has been told repeatedly by many people that her child has issues but refuses to get him the help he clearly needs. She is not doing her child any favours by refusing to get him help. The sister is digusting for abandoning her, the child, that she failed to get the help he needed. OP's family also disgusts me. They are all expecting OP to care for the child that they are refusing to care for.

[@fufufuaru]

he fricked around and found out. cheers to that son for sticking to it.

[@thatonearoace]

Hello Markee. Do you own the cursed piece of furniture known commonly as the “Couch”? I hear they’re bad luck

[@thatonearoace]

@@Azulakayes There’s 2 couch stories now, the couch mentions must increase. You cannot stop the couch! 🛋️

[@thatonearoace]

@@Azulakayes The couches will take over! Nobody is safe! 🛋️🛋️

[@rion354]

Im very curious about this dreaded couch story. Already seen the recent "caught my best friend and his girlfriend on my couch" but what's the other one that everyone keeps mentioning?

[@thatonearoace]

@@rion354 “I Walked In On My Mother ROLEPLAYING AS ME Wearing My Dress On Top Of DAD” Was the title of Markee’s video of the original couch. It’s very wholesome if you couldn’t tell 😃

[@rion354]

@@thatonearoace I... Am deeply disturbed by this title. I shall find said video now lol

[@Forwantofaname]

Families like story two reminds me of my own. It's not at bad, but they let the kids do anything, and then get mad if you get upset when the kids break your stuff or hurt your pets. I'm an outcast in my extended family because I asked to be repaid for my broken e-reader when a kid climbed onto the table during a game and stepped on it. I was refused and told that family doesn't charge family for these things. You'd think someone in the family would see that as wrong, but it's amazing how they don't see the issue.

[@anotherone1532]

Op should straight up tell him that if he brings any of this up again that divorce will happen

[@rebeccak6682]

OP2: call CPS this is neglect which is considered abuse. CALL!

[@benjie128]

The crazy thing is. If the sister has accepted her son has issues and taken the help offered by the preschool, it could've provided resources to help lessen the stress. It might still be stressful and take effort.

[@shebakoby]

story 1: Joe's a covert narcissist who thought he was playing the long game. Reminds me of a story I listened to yesterday, and another story I heard about a week or so ago, where a stepparent assumed they could force the bioparent to abandon the child between the bioparent and the former/deceased partner. One played the long game and was only caught out through the 17 year old OP finding their reddit account and their vile posts on r/stepparents, and the other was a fiancee who didn't want the stepdaughter in the wedding and eventually the OP got the truth - wannabe stepmonster wanted that OP to become a "child support and nothing else" dad and move far far away, the minute they tied the knot. All classic manipulative Clusters of Bees behaviors on the covert side (ONLY refers to abusive instances of Cluster B).

[@Aisene0910]

I typically don’t hate people in these stories, but I LOATHE the sister in Story 2. I wish the worst for her for all time.

[@boogitywoogity248]

OP in story one is just as bad as her hubby. If you intentionally starve your dog, thats abuse. If you accidentally starve your dog, thats neglect. In both cases its animal abuse and the dog dies. If you give OP the maximum unbelievable level of benefit of the doubt, she neglected her son to the point of absurd levels of lack of knowledge or concern about him. I for one, don't believe for a second she didn't notice this, so abuse.

[@untitled-gv3qp]

They lied to her about why the son wasn't included. From her point of view it makes sense that an older kid wouldn't wanna go to the same places as younger kids and would opt out. I would opt out if I know there are young kids involved because I don't wanna be a babysitter if I can help it and I imagine a lot of teenagers probably would feel the same way about going out with the younger children in their families. She should've definitely put her foot down when he tried to squeeze rent money out of the kid when he didn't even own the house. But the OP probably didn't have a good frame of reference for what's acceptable from a spouse because she was most likely groomed by her previous husband and her current husband was a terrible person too. So I can cut her some slack here. It was less negligence on her part and more of her just not understanding that the guy she was with was being an AH.

[@boogitywoogity248]

@@untitled-gv3qp yeha women can never do anything wrong, she totally can’t be faulted for noticing totally obvious situations, yeah her dead from cancer ex totally groomed her. It’s the man’s fault always yeah. She can’t take any blame for outright neglect.

[@angeleyesgreen1586]

Story 1: he can't love/support another man's child, but that child is his wife's kid, too. He can't love HER child? He loves her. He knows mistreatment of her child would break her heart, and yet, he did it and doubled down on it. People like this are disgusting. If you don't have a heart to love a person AND their children, you are a bad match for them and need to move on. Just go away. Don't fake it till you make it. You won't. You'll only end up abusing an innocent child who never ever ever deserved it.

[@sapphicgeek24]

Story 1: It's very easy to hide that kind of stuff from parents. Especially when there are more kids and difficult jobs. Matt seems protective of his mom. Probably because his bio father was 50 and OP was 18 when he was born...

[@macylouwho1187]

It is amazing how many people have kids and then run out on them or badly neglect them. They go into the system which, quite frankly, is a sh-tshow. I’m a former foster parent and I do know this for sure. I remember being married, having our first baby when I was twenty, coming out of a very abusive childhood myself-being young/naive/idealistic and wanting to help other abused children. We weren’t set up well at the time, we were renting a house and very young and not financially stable yet. Caseworkers were literally trying to get a young newly married not financially stable couple to adopt whole sibling groups because they didn’t have the luxury of caring who they went to as long as they went to “someone” else other than the state. Because that’s the goal is to not be in charge or paying for them anymore, or it being their problem in any way. Lack of budget, lack of enough caseworkers, etc etc. The caseworkers have so much on their plate and they are forced to make less than desirable choices when trying to offload as many kids as they can. And I sincerely don’t know how anyone makes money off of fostering. They lay the absolute BARE minimum of everything and the necessity allowance is truly a joke. We 100% paid more out fostering than we got paid because we couldn’t handle not treating the children equally to our own or giving them the childhood that they deserved. It was unconscionable to us so we spent out of pocket on so many rudimentary things that were needed and wanted. So basic at the time because it’s what our budget allowed for. They had plenty enough food and treats, enough clothes (no thanks to the system) and typical childhood activities like play group, swimming at the pool, dining out once a week, movie theater nights, friend sleep overs etc etc. We paid because the system wouldn’t. Even after we stopped fostering we still ended up raising two kids that weren’t ours from a young age through graduation. A local boy who came home with my son off the bus one day who had severely neglectful absentee parents and a family member’s child who was also badly neglected because the parents were addicts. It just happens so frequently out there that it really is a shame. And then people think it’s a good idea to force people to have MORE kids they can’t handle??? So stupid and short sighted. This is how you create severely damaged and sometimes dangerous adults. One of my ex foster kids that was only here a month before being adopted by another family grew up and nearly murdered an old man robbing him. The kid was just too messed up by what happened to him with his bio mother to ever recover. His adoptive parents tried so hard to help him but the damage was already done. He’s now in prison for armed robbery and assault with a deadly weapon. For a long long time. I knew when he was 4 years old that he would never be ok. It was so obvious, sadly.

[@socketyellow3]

So…. He told op he would leave the 7 year old at home alone because he didn’t wanna go? Sounds like op had a lot of signs he was abusing him

[@ChrisAndCats]

Husband aside, I'm curious why a) OP didnt get anything at all from the 1st partner, considering she was with him and had his child straight out of high school. That seems like she has been taken advantage of there. What did she receive to bring HIS child up? It sounds like nothing, as the child is extremely wealthy, whereas she had nothing at all. She should at least have had provision for that. b) it sounds to me like there have been problems between the step father and the son for a while that OP has not addressed. That type of thing doesnt come out of the blue. There has obviously been things going on by step father that have been allowed to slide. She obviously has no love for her husband because - without knowing anything had been going on - she went straight to divorce, instead of trying to dig deeper and find out why such a big row came "out of the blue". 9:15 I was right. Op is also at fault here, how was she so removed from the dynamic going on? She is a poor mother.

[@HodajuciParadoks]

1. I love this one. He wanted to play as a big man, he is a step dad did not own that house...it backfired because her ex late husband was a smart man and he left everything to his blood not to his partner. Smart move, and stepdad is a bad man..greedy asshole. He will not apologize because he can not accept he will never own that house ever....not even his kids will have right to that house.

[@HodajuciParadoks]

2. So her sister's kid learned his behavior from his mother...got it. IT is not family responsibility if someone in the family have a kid, the one who makes the child, birth one...have one legally is the only ones responsible for the kid/s. End of story. NO ONE is obligated to baby sitting any child. You have a kid, you are responsible for your kid. ps. Her kid might not have problems mentally, just have trauma from his mother. That women sounds insane, no wonder kid his having meltdowns, kids need attention and love and discipline from real parent.

[@lauraanderson8785]

I wouldn't call him a smart man, he's a disgusting pedo and as a middle-aged man he preyed on a minor, got her pregnant, moved her in straight out of high school, then died leaving her with nothing. Okay, I'm not blaming him for dying, but I am blaming him for not leaving her anything in the will. He completely fucked up her life. He's the reason why she wasn't able to further her education or focus on building a career - she had to focus on raising their child... that she got pregnant with as a child herself. Leaving her something in the will is in my opinion the least he should have done to compensate for what he did. (I would feel differently if Jake had been her age, then it would've been a case of two teens making a mistake together and not a case of someone being taken advantage of) I would also feel differently if OP had been older when she met Jake and if this wasn't a case of grooming. There are other situations where it makes sense to leave everything to the kids, but not this one. OP was 18 when she gave birth, so she had gotten pregnant at 17 or when she had just turned 18. So god knows how old she was when she met Jake and how old she was when Jake started the grooming process. He took advantage of her and changed the trajectory of her life permanently. She could have furthered her education, gotten herself a career, met a good man who wasn't a groomer, gotten married and had children when she was in a better position to have them. But she didn't even have a shot at that because someone 30 years her senior targetted her.

[@league-of-shadows]

Story 1: This guy is such a loser. You can’t demand an exalted title - you earn it through action, which he never did. It’s disappointing the mom never noticed their relationship but kids can be good at hiding things. I would have had a serious discussion if my husband wanted any child to pay rent (shared or step) without discussing it like a family. She has pretty bad mama bear instincts. So delusional of him to try to rule over a house that was never his. Story 2: I really hope that kid ends up in a loving home with help they need to thrive. The little boy is innocent in all of this.

[@emo7636]

Story 2- So the 'super old' grandparents who are only in their early 60's and 'too old to babysit' got stuck with the grandson after all. The parents, the kid's mother, the brother, they're all sh*t. OP is the only one out of that family who doesn't suck the big one. She dumped off a 4 year old baby at a safe haven site? Can you even imagine how utterly confused and scared that boy must have been. What an absolute sh*t-stain for a parent. And that brother is almost as bad, he can't babysit because he has kids? Umm HwhAt?!

[@shebakoby]

if you can't love 'another' (DEAD) man's child, DON'T GET WITH A WOMAN WHO HAS ANOTHER MAN'S CHILD! Gawd how hard is that? It's not difficult, people.

[@annem7806]

CPS needs to be called on your sister. Grandma & gramdpa can babysit. They need to experience the BRAT.

[@annem7806]

Babysit the brat at your parents house, with them home.

[@CharmedShannon]

Okay tater tot, dill bag..😂😂😂😂😂. Freaking love the commentary!

[@LadyBern]

8:47 please say "screwing over" Or "screwing himself and his kids". Not "screwing his kids and himself over." That threw me off terribly.

[@teamaang7915]

Block all the family I was also thinking about CPS. Child deserves better and the mum is abusing them.

[@benbraden9133]

Story 2 - that’s a whole lot of judgemental family that also seemingly aren’t willing to babysit…

[@thekameru6058]

S1 - Oh so this is the woman who was on the other side of the story from the son. And I thoroughly dispise her for letting this oppertunistic dross into her son's life.

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

6:22 he didn’t just get over it tho. It sounds like he tried to get money from Matt.

[@Rukiah1]

S1: it's pretty sad that step dad got away with this nonsense because OP has poor communication with her son. Over a decade of his bs and OP didn't have a clue? I feel so bad for the son 😢

[@jenniferbailey1580]

22:02 my aunt (now in her 70s) taught special ed. Masters degree, specifically for what is now called intellectual disability, at levels that will always require significant support. Can recognize a small number of simple words and had teachers revisit the things you need to be a safe pedestrian (lights, stop signs) regularly while they are teenagers, level. She loved teaching teens and developed computer programs she used with them (got asked to present at a conference in the field, and to return with updates). She was their Scout leader. She did this while her doctors were still saying Lupus will kill you by 50 (some percent of that was bad interpretation of studies, part that they didn’t have the chemotherapy that autoimmune disorders are given today). (Also she did have at least 1 Autist who was routed there. (Please note I am Autistic and Aunt would meet criteria) She introduced him to programming and he ran with it, and he graduated- I think he actually did qualify for a “normal” diploma- right when that was a skill that Silicon Valley would whisk hs grads who were weird but could do the thing away. Dad was in the Air Force and had one of those, about the same time. His superior ordered him to rotate all his team through every position and Dad ended up yelling at the superior because this one dude? The armed forces needed *his* skill set on *that* task in *that* era of computer integration into… everything I don’t know if the student who was assaulting her had adequate support as soon as they noticed he was missing milestones. She was in the rural South and has stories of families being nightmares. But yeah, she ended up being a consultant for the Army who oversaw the programs for every Midwestern lock and dam system and some communication programs for tthe Army and so on. This mom is setting up a situation that could lead to losing a brilliant teacher (or 3) when Mom realizes that she has to be on duty 24/7, and actively preventing harm 24/7, when he’s home and school is how they have time to sleep, grocery shop, see their dentist…

[@poetryqn]

Story 2: "Family responsibility"???? Free babysitting is a FAMILY RESPONSIBILITY???? What is OP's family smoking? It is the parents of the actual human who are responsible for that child. Anybody else must be asked. Babysitting in the family must be requested; its is not a right. I say that as a mother. EDIT: Oh, God, it's so much worse. Poor kid.

[@ZarineBashire]

7500 a month with no house payment and 1k makes him unable to afford hobbies? What the heck are they sending money on? Even in a high cost of living state they should be fine. 2500 working at a factory? I call BS on some of this if not all of it.

[@lina9535]

Story 1: Dude has 250 left each month.... 2500 - 500 - 500 - 250 - 1000 = 250. I also don't buy the "ego" excuse. Most likely he simply didn't want to apologise. These are the consequences of his own actions. Also, what is he helping his parents with? I get that it's a nice thing to want to do, but.... you're not obligated to help. Plus, it's probably a "stepparent doesn't like stepkid" situation anyway. The mom never "mooched". Did people forget she paid rent and utilities?

[@robertx8020]

He also helped his parents ..so that could be that 250

[@83gemm]

It’s FASCINATING to me how many of these dudes have a great set up or a partner who is devoted to them and then they just set it fully on fire this macho sh-t. What on earth prompts that? I guess in this case he wanted stepson gone, but that was really just a match. He continued to pour gasoline on it for YEARS until he lost everything.

[@josiemorgan6567]

Saw the sons version of this many months ago. Very pleased to get mums update.

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

The ending to story 2….WTAF?! Had OP babysat that day, her sister would’ve for sure abandoned the kid with OP.

[@lemarch57]

Story 2: Sister clearly has some serious mental issues herself to be acting like she is. Classic case of the pot calling the kettle black when she hates on other mentally challenged people. I’m wondering if her son was acting out because she treated him like shit. She may have abandoned him emotionally from birth cause she clearly was a narcissistic crap mom. And to OP, your parents and brother are being cruel because THEY ARE CHOOSING TO BE CRUEL. That’s because they have learned they can get you to do what they want by being assholes. What they’re doing is abuse. You are learning a valuable lesson here in self-love and standing up for yourself. And hopefully you are also finding out that the people you stayed with are true and loyal friends who treated you with the kindness and understanding your blood family has not. Best of luck to you, kind soul.

[@flamelily2086]

Joe wanted to get money for his hobbies and thought he could get it from his 18 year old stepson! All Joe has to do is apologise to Matt.

[@christiankucera7730]

That mother certainly knows which side her bread is buttered on...

[@EluneAnzu]

Story 2: The second the family members were on the sisters' side my response would have been "Great! I'll let her know you're up for babysitting!"

[@MH-ku5kn]

Story 2…. OMG familial responsibility doesn’t extend to just your sister. It also extends to your child. Get your child together. They need help. Edit: the easiest way to call the brothers hypocrisy out is to ask him if his kids never have friends spend the night or over for the afternoon to play. If you can handle one more of someone else’s kid, you can handle the problematic nephew as well.

[@alexadraeln5316]

Story 2: "family is the price we pay for not being called orphans" . Block the family of flying monkeys for at least one month ...if the insane sister appears on your doorstep call the police without engaging with her.

[@CircusoftheMoon]

S2: she needs to go find her ex husband and make him be a parent. lol

[@robertx8020]

Maybe she doesn't know who he is?

[@MidnightAndLuna]

My husband is not the bio father of my oldest. He treats my oldest as if he’s his biological son. He has never called him step son and my son never called my husband anything other than dad. So, ‘I can’t love another man’s child’ bs isn’t an excuse.

[@myeternalteardrop]

I get tired of always hearing "you need to do this because family" or "you need to do your familial duty". Since when has it been anyone's "duty" to acquiesce to their family's unreasonable demands? If the family is so concerned with the child's care, THEY can watch him.