I Made Custom Torture Maps in Portal 2

[@Valefisk]

Get an even higher BLACK FRIDAY deal using my link displate.com/valefisk or my discount code 'valefisk' to access my special promo on all designs 1-2 - 33% OFF 3-4 - 37% OFF 5+ - 44% OFF

[@teaflavouredcoffee83]

balls

[@Кто-то621]

In your

[@bodigt0n35]

Mother

[@origami-airplanes]

Oh mission impossible, its called back to the future, where a futurama character says ...something and goes to a place *cops* would..?

[@Turtoile41]

the orgasm

[@AChamber]

Having Portal maps custom made for me should feel like an honour, but all I feel is traumatised

[@jestalt6442]

“I went to the Valefisk Portal 2 con and all I got was traumatized”

[@user-rg7uz8of9r]

all of vale's videos are about vale

[@heartysquid]

Change your name to TestChamber!

[@aperson.7738]

Should trap vale into one of these some time

[@iankemp2627]

Honest question, did you play this on a potato?

[@StarWarsGirl2011]

it was maivis plan all along to make this torture for vale instead of the players. she truly is the mastermind

[@cheesysealAnon]

Maivis was the true GlaDos all along

[@Danc929]

​@cheesysealAnon would that make Vale Wheatley?

[@bigbananabill]

yes@@Danc929

[@screwaccountnames]

@@Danc929He even has the same map design skills!

[@JombiWombi]

Psychological warfare

[@NovelPond]

I Will never test chamber again. That guy can’t puzzle the game

[@Angry_Cinnamion_toast]

Novel, we know that’s a lie, he can’t puzzle any game

[@christophercyr1460]

I would have flipped my shit after that second removing of his portal

[@_mwk]

Did you enjoy Vale's Test Chamber?

[@Cr3zant]

Said the one who couldn't understand such simple puzzles as "look up."

[@ihatethatyoutubedisplaysyo8106]

Who screwed the jump how many times?

[@ivgorm9365]

the prize in this vid shouldn't have been riot points it should have been a couples therapy voucher

[@starkiller332]

Or robux

[@C4Cole05]

@@starkiller332 gregor samza bucks

[@enderan647]

Any kind of therapy voucher is too usefull.

[@MeLoNarXo]

the voucher should also have been expired.

[@laser_uhhhh]

@@MeLoNarXoai generated batman?

[@JohnWayne-pg4pw]

It’s almost as if whenever chamber and novel combine forces they get a compounding negative debuff on their situational awareness

[@salmon_wine]

i think its mostly chamber because it seems, in this video, novel has to bear the full weight of whatever the fuck chamber is doing edit: this is changing somewhat as novel keeps failing the jump

[@andrew_wow6892]

I like how the description contains all these games Vale hasn't played in years

[@Burning_Marshmallow]

I miss the good ol days of city skylines 2…

[@donpollo3154]

I also like how it says Hearts of Iron IV and Hoi4 right beside each other

[@lyanreehan]

bro liked the comment he don't even care 😭

[@andrew_wow6892]

Noooo, he stopped featuring these games in the description, what have I done :(

[@The360MlgNoscoper]

@@andrew_wow6892They’re still there :)

[@doughboywhine]

This is like putting two lab rats in a maze to find cheese only for them to ram their heads into the wall instead of trying to solve it, and then they snack on each other when they get hungry

[@maximilianwonschik1304]

that's a beautiful analogy

[@fugyfruit]

Sometimes it feels like Maivi is the real puppetmaster and Vale is the puppet

[@setster007]

"So who's in charge of who?" "Don't tell either of them I said this, but it depends on the day."

[@donpollo3154]

The woman behind the slaughter

[@BierBart12]

The real long brain of the operation

[@greatoverlordchikonmaster7226]

1:06:39 Vale thanking the sponsor and patrons (not the people he tortured for 2 hours though)

[@TheGeneReyva]

Novel did it to himself.

[@Virtrial]

Chamber's Back to the Future scene is now cannon in my personal BTTF lore and as such the character "Fry" from Futurama is now also part of my personal Back to the Future lore cannon.

[@AChamber]

It’s been a while since I’ve seen back to the future alright

[@Virtrial]

and yes, marty mcfly did indeed have sex with himself in back to the future, it was just a deleted scene

[@keyreset]

everyone knows the classic marty mc-ussy scene

[@Overcrox]

Was he talking about the laser dance in Ocean's 12? (I haven't seen it, just that scene, so I don't know if that explains the Miami thing...)

[@jacobsims1175]

God has forsaken us@@keyreset

[@st_syfr]

vale is literally the perfect person to make portal maps. has the same kind of sadistic, pushing glee that aperture science test builders seemed to have (positive)

[@nikkiofthevalley]

Except they weren't trying to kill their test subjects haha

[@InnoverraHearth-s5s]

​@nikkiofthevalley have you played portal

[@callumprice1710]

​@@nikkiofthevalleythey definitely tried to kill the test subjects in the portal games. That or such a callous disregard that it amounts to the same.

[@ivyswhatever2869]

The unintended consequence of this video is that, contrary to other videos of yours, this one feels longer every rewatch, since you already know more and more of the solutions to the puzzles by memory, and watching them struggle feels a lot longer every subsequent viewing

[@VaporStrikeX2]

It's beyond incredible just how much of this video is Novel creating his own suffering. Like, multiple times they finish the map and Chamber clearly actually wants to finish it and escape, and Novel just sees the opportunity to goblin out a little bit, totally sabotages everything and softlocks them, and makes it take another hour. And then has the audacity to blame anyone else.

[@jamescampos8128]

Hey that crack looks like it could be structural, as in it could be caused by foundation shifting which is very bad. Keep an eye out for other cracks or expansions of that one, you don't want half your office to just sorta fall off one day, especially not if you're in it.

[@Valefisk]

that's just what they _want_ you to think

[@heartysquid]

Vale craves the prize of his office falling into hell.

[@toasterhavingabath6980]

Free ride

[@transnewt]

@@heartysquid hed be getting a better view

[@shadowsovereign4948]

I now see why the CIA tortured people… it’s just so much fun!

[@cia6042]

can confirm

[@rileyfairfull2548]

​@@cia6042holy shit 😮

[@duskpede5146]

this is probably true tbh, it doesn't work for anything else

[@haraldhansen2761]

That sounds like a Glados line

[@BierBart12]

The most important part of war is to stay hydrated and have fun!

[@aqelesful]

This was truly a masterpiece cause it torments everyone who was involved, creator, subjects and even the viewer cause the almost 30 minutes of novel dying alone in the first room cause he wanted to be cool and press the turret button was agony.

[@fossil64]

What's really terrible though, is that while watching the end, seeing him explain his "process" I was actively thinking of ways he could have made these two puzzles worse. The true Valefisk experience, learning.

[@codycombs8590]

I stared at this for about nine seconds, then uncontrollably grinned like a madman. Vale is truly the core who gives GLaDOS ideas for the torture "tests."

[@username5155]

18:55 I think he somehow swapped Back to the Future and Futurama in his brain.

[@sonan333]

At 25:25 It was at this point that Vale remembered that he, too, was as stuck as his participants.

[@mooredaxon]

Second time asking for the ultimate 2nd Person Shooter game tournament. You and a teammate battle against another team in any FPS game. The twist is that you can only see the game through your TEAMMATE's vision. Knowing the Vale crew, it'd be absolute madness

[@grzegorzbrzeczyszczykiewic563]

This is such a deranged idea. I can't believe someone brought this concept into reality by saying it out loud.

[@mooredaxon]

@@grzegorzbrzeczyszczykiewic563 why thank you

[@screret4794]

GOD that's evil. I love it.

[@CrimsonDude_]

@@grzegorzbrzeczyszczykiewic563 is this fr? it sounds almost exactly the same as "A CS:GO Tournament but the Players are Blind" which Valefisk himself has already organised.

[@mooredaxon]

​@@CrimsonDude_it was partially inspired by that, partially inspired by a video essay about a Second Person perspective segment of a game, and partially something I've always wanted to see since playing shooter games like Borderlands with my dad. The main difference is that, rather than one person giving all the information to the other, the players have to work together to see what's going on. With the blind tournament, the main problem is the gap between acquiring information from your teammate and reacting to it. In this, you actively have to be thinking about your movements from the perspective of another. Overall I think the premise is about 2 to 3 steps up from the blind tournament.

[@scutch4]

I love how these videos get longer and longer lmao

[@twitching_bot574]

Nah, If anything they get shorter. The geogusser video was 3.5 hours after all, and even still, it was incredibly entertaining

[@M0123-j6i]

These videos are getting way too short! Damn ticktockers...

[@moosehooves4145]

All in lead up to campaign for north africa

[@wildmaknae_]

@@twitching_bot574 in what world geoguessr tournament is 3,5 hours? it's 1h40mins...

[@lukaskubik4698]

Everytime a Vale video starts with "I made ...", you just know someone is going to lose sanity.

[@charleswillhite5375]

One of the first times Vale was included in that grouping.

[@PerfectZeroMusic_]

At this point Vale has commercialized torture and I'm here for it

[@wolffyhowl5622]

"I hate this Vale" is the slogan of Vales masterpieces

[@the1truejackal916]

can’t wait to watch an hour and seven minutes of worsening friendships

[@RAFMnBgaming]

this has big "I'm not trapped in here with you, you're trapped in here with me" energy towards vale.

[@verdantiridium2149]

I'm convinced they'd struggle just as much in normal portal co-op.

[@Zazecki98]

The more of these videos I watch, the more absurd it gets with how long it takes the participants to figure out valefisks 'puzzles'. Because so often the answer is just 'go down the hall' or 'push that button' or 'just parkour a bit' or some combination of those things. Vale isn't some mastermind designing ingenious puzzles. He's just a guy trolling his friends, and they keep falling for it. To be clear, that isn't a criticism of Vale. I think its impressive that he keeps fucking with his friends in ways that they somehow can't figure out. Those solutions are the exact solutions to the puzzles in this video. They are so simple, conceptually, and even relatively simple from a skill standpoint.

[@MagicTheNoah]

Ha we both release portal based torture games at the same time

[@Summer512]

Bach was famously a fan of including lots of explosions in his music.

[@maivioz]

Hehe, he said booby traps!

[@dachemistofx1667]

uh oh, Oh No, OH NO, AAAAAAUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHHH!

[@laser_uhhhh]

WOMAN OOGA BOOGA

[@mumblety]

I'd hate to imagine what you could accomplish with Hammer (advanced Source map editor). There is a map on the workshop that uses non euclidian geometry, "Something Different ... Non-Euclidean", though I think that was made in combination with BEE2.

[@Souls_29]

I think it’s funny that they don’t know you can self destruct if you ever get stuck

[@vincentgalletta6415]

Hello vale, in July of last year I went to a military school in starke Florida. In November we were givin a 1 week furlough to go home and find jobs. When we left the school we were in our nicest uniforms and we were expected to wear them back to the academy. When the break was over, it was about an hour and a half drive back to the Academy from where I lived I decided that I would spend this hour and a half drive watching this video. On the way there we stopped for some food at a drive-through The meal is an important what is important is that I got a Coke. When we got back on the road I continued watching your video, and I laughed so hard. I spilt the Coke on my good uniform pants. An hour long video of some of the Best quality entertainment cost me five hours of lecture and ass chewing and another three doing nothing, but standing at the position of attention. It was worth every minute.

[@phantom.dragon]

57:58 I think I've never heard Vale's maniacal monkey laugh until that moment lol

[@Arxtxc]

He sounds like he's holding it back too which somehow makes it more maniacal

[@supapoopatroopa6882]

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT vale did actually mention he used a mod “beeMOD” at the very end of the video but it is now here for anyone who didn’t watch that far… it allowed for more precise building techniques than the vanilla editor allows (I would recommend beeMOD 2” it’s way better

[@ncuw8546]

I think Chamber doesn't have it installed.

[@lonesometomb773]

1:06:29 "I used beeMOD"

[@supapoopatroopa6882]

@@lonesometomb773he mentioned it at the very end damn I stand corrected and have updated the comment

[@Nevernamed]

@@ncuw8546 You shouldnt need BEEMod to play maps made using BEEMod, I've done it plenty of times- also those panels that were invisible arent added by BEEMod, they're vanillas. Chamber just broke everything.

[@Toileetpapr]

I like how the torture music and rockets have only targeted novel.

[@catman404]

Another one for the “valefisk and victims” playlist

[@caoilfhionndunbar]

Vale and the Victims, the hit rock band whos music is entirely made up of screams and groans.

[@catman404]

kzbin.info/aero/PLZQml_8Z9VKVEChhHL-pQNKzOMsLBDfuz&si=twW51sfuaslzbLg2 It is an actual playlist

[@xaviersavard6343]

Never has classical music been this terrifying. Also Vale, did you know google regards you as a game dev, not youtuber. I sent an email and hopefully it gets resolved.

[@PointsofData]

I'm surprised they don't list him as a BDSM expert

[@razorthewolf18]

Technically he is a game dev too, cause he has made his own video game.

[@side-beeetaloniswolfwolfac4179]

He's both, oddly enough.

[@timothymclean]

@@razorthewolf18 I'm not sure how many people have played (or even heard of) his video game without watching the associated KZbin video. I assume Google just considers game dev a higher-priority title than youtuber, which normally makes sense (lots of game devs make KZbin videos, but they're still game devs first); this is an exception that proves the rule.

[@bonnienc4434]

My best guess is that Chamber confused Back to The Future with Futurama(MC is called Fry), forgot he switched those around and just kinda went with it

[@foxbread3714]

As a Finn, Vale's spelling of Finnish words was a joy to behold

[@TenthSgtSnipes]

Imagine playing a map for almost 2 hours, restarting several times after getting softlocked, only for the door not to open at the end

[@statelyelms]

"wow this doesn't work and I die every time" KEEPS RUNNING IN A STRAIGHT LINE AWAY FROM THE TURRETS

[@Disapointed_Luigi]

Why are everyone always go OH NO NOT A VALEFISK TABLETOP when they look legit super fun to play

[@nikkiofthevalley]

Because they aren't haha, the tabletops seem fun because Vale shows the highlights, otherwise every tabletop video would be 6-8 hours long.

[@whaitiritua-warbrick1398]

Vale sowing the seeds of torture and mistrust in his friends: HELL YEAH Vale reaping the mistrust all his friends have to each of his video ideas: FUCK

[@Ramash440]

"I do think... you could finish this quickly." 1 hour video length despite the editing. Vale, you devious creature.

[@nikkiofthevalley]

They could've, is the thing. If you subtract all the infighting on their part it would've taken them like 30 minutes in video length.

[@Ramash440]

@@nikkiofthevalley Sure, but where's the fun in that?

[@zackg8356]

I'm glad glad0s got a much needed update :) she wasn't nearly as malevolent as she could be

[@lamegrape]

Coming up next: the Torture SMP, available at your local retailer.

[@starkiller332]

Aka 2b2t2

[@PotatoPatatoVonSpudsworth]

⁠@@starkiller332| 2c2bt

[@DefinitelyARobot]

They all have permanent mining fatigue

[@hectoris919]

What if you made a map that utilizes the blue goo to trap people in a bouncy hell all while turrets that are also bouncing slowly shoot them to death

[@gold_me]

Just wait until vale finds the hammer editor

[@iruleatgames]

I wish Vale had challenged his friends to an actually really hard puzzle. It would be a lot more interesting to watch then them getting "trolled".

[@lucifersatan8240]

50:17 This was a triumph. I'm making a note here: huge success.

[@hummussapien7.6billion68]

you know the torture is bad when it becomes painful to watch

[@TotalTirpitz]

This is Maivi's revenge. Excellent execution, this is her Revenge Valefisk.

[@thejustlexa]

the finnish subtitles jumpscared me cause it never showed them switching to it lol

[@kiurrrr]

"I'm gonna switch back to german" then i get jumpscared by vale trying to read finnish

[@LykonDrakensken]

You always seem to upload just in time to catch me when I'm sick and give me a fever dream day of watching a 1 hour video for 7 hours. Thank you

[@UAVizUp]

37:55 i completely stand with chamber here he was about to go around the corner to be with Novel but novel threw the turret around the corner and you can see it shoot chamber knocking him back into the other turret

[@TrustingTroller]

All I learned from this video is that Portal has a very good knowledge progression.

[@HammerspaceCreature]

The Bach reminds me of when I used to make custom levels in Smash Bros Brawl and every time I would set the default music to the Ashley song from WarioWare and every time my friends would forget I did that and have to back out to the menu and change the music. Terrible music is a staple of designing troll levels.

[@TheUnoriginal2394]

Will vale ever learn his lesson that the one most tortured by his shenanigans is, in fact, himself? Hopefully not.

[@XxboxodxX-nk4mz]

slowly watching vale, chamber and Novel slowly go insane is so entertaining

[@IcyXzavien]

A unique game to torture people with (although will probably not be as torturous as that portal 1 troll mod made by ths portal community).

[@FugaceFugite]

my favourite quote of Back To The Future is when they say "it's doc'ing time" (I probably watched the same version as chamber)

[@NyanSequitur]

If you want to be extra mean in future, you can make puzzles only solvable by using the crouch fly glitch/portal bumping/the double object boost used in the minimum portals route for the' Future Starter' chamber (none of these tricks require much mechanical skill.) Can also act like these were taught in the campaign.

[@beannation5149]

Val0s bringing us another run of his classic test chambers

[@Lexiosity]

I know i'm late, but Portal 2 allows you to get Authoring Tools, meaning you can use the Hammer Map Editor to make a custom map as well, allowing full freedom as well. You can use any entity you want with Hammer

[@Xezian]

the most shocking part of this video to me was in the intro, realizing that sometime years after this game was released they updated the editor and added more test elements. Like i didn't play Portal 2 until 2 or 3 years after it came out and it still had its bare bones test editor with like half of these test elements. Amazing sometime around the last major tf2 update. They've updated a single player narrative puzzle game than they have tf2, truly amazing.

[@twitching_bot574]

Any day that vale uploads is a good day, especially if it's an hour long video, you know it's going to be good.

[@blackchibisan8116]

I saw “I made custom torture-“ and immediately knew it was Vale and that I had to watch

[@natetwehues2428]

When I'm sick in bed, a new Vale torture map is the medicine I need.

[@princedest1ny]

The reason Novel could make the first room 2 times and then not at all for the next etc etc times was because he swerved the two times he made it, forcing the turrets to take longer to target him

[@tammyshead]

"I forgot to download counterstrike" "I didn't research doors yet" I love chamber

[@odd9965]

PORTAL AND TORTURE AND MONKEY MAN ITS LIKE THE INFINITY WAR OF MY HYPER SPECIFIC NTERESTS

[@GigasGMX]

This is the greatest thing in the history of player incompetence. And here I thought nothing would ever top the blind CS:GO tournament.

[@casualcyberguy1314]

Vale attempting to torture someone only to feel tortured by the end. He truly has become GLaDOS

[@nickelpence]

It's always a wonderful day when a new Vale video drops! I know I'm always in for a nice treat (and not feel bad for procrastinating something else😅)

[@xoidbergskywalker9139]

having torture in every single one of your titles has to be anathema to the algorithm

[@Infinite_Archive]

You would make GLaDOS unbelievably proud.

[@Panthera_Leo_]

Alternate title: "Using WW1 Tactics To Beat Portal 2"

[@zackl2000]

"They even swap feet pics daily." excuse me we just glossing past that

[@4840nick]

0:40 Vale loves psychologically torturing Chamber

[@TheJewelryBoxTTV]

I've been making a monstrosity of a 'puzzle' map since December in much the same spirit as this. Thank you for the inspiration! Hopefully soon I'll have some footage together from volunteers of my own.

[@thatoneperson3113]

I like how the entire first puzzle would have been easily completed if novel didn't fuck it up

[@skyrimn00b98]

I see you went to the "Colony Ship For Sale, Cheap" school of game design.

[@nicorozner7417]

I do so love it when common sense and logic are conquered by the indomitable human spirit

[@sugoistalin7809]

A reminder that for whatever vale designs to torture his friends, it always seems to come back on him in sone way. Because he's a masochist.

[@exLightningg]

Novel & Chamber did so badly that Vale didn't even get another couple of players to compete with them like he originally planned, actual 400 IQ play since that means they just won by default.

[@RoarkCats]

would be interesting to see a short insight into not only how the map works but also the making of it

[@riahmanplayz358]

I got my wisdom teeth pulled out today and I really wanted to watch this but it’s too funny it hurts. This is honestly the funniest channel on KZbin keep up the great content.

[@darkrite9000]

This brought me much delight in seeing how badly these two handled these maps. It was like watching them originally blindfold themselves, and then one of them somehow succeeding and the other one in anger just makes things worse for himself for seemingly no reason.

[@richardnixonpog9925]

did you know Portal 2 has a very sophisticated physics engine, similar to Half-Life 2, which the Valve team uses primarily for puzzle making?

[@rioriorio17]

The reason the turrets got so much harder for them in the first chamber is because turrets in petal 2 have 3 modes: Shooting - shooting the player Searching - red beam is moving around searching for the player, it’s triggered when shooting mode ends (when the player it was shooting goes out of range or LOS) and searching mode ends a few seconds after it is activated if a player is not seen Idle - Turrets spawn in this mode, and turrets return to this mode after searching mode ends BASICALLY, while in search mode, the turrets shoot players instantly. Though in Idle mode, it takes about a second and a half for turrets to start shooting the player, and it takes EVEN LONGER (about 2 seconds) for them to shoot you enter LOS right after they enter Idle mode. They were trying run out while the turrets were still in search mode 🙈

[@sabersight908]

this is great and portal is always awesome :D you could totally make a series out of this

[@Zyppah.]

A new 1 hour long video from my favorite torturer right as im headed to bed? perfect

[@darkwave8892]

I think this back to the future reference is actually about futurama when fry goes into the past kills his presumed grandfather and becomes his own grandfather.

[@hauntedcupoftea]

Machiavellian Bach has been my ringtone for YEARS and this video is so terrifying to watch cause whenever it gets quiet i get a little jumpscare

[@dymaxion3988]

I had a great idea for a portal 2 co-op chamber: it would be designed as two parallel series of challenges, where the players are seperated by glass. Each challenge would be done by one player, and would allow the other player to progress, in a back and forth between solving and observing. If the solving player makes a mistake, turrets would be deployed on the observing player. About halfway through, two buttons would be added to each challenge section: either player would have the option of deploying turrets on the other whenever they choose.

[@alansmithee419]

4:20 (lol) I'm lovin' the guy in chat whose name has been cut-off to "International Man A**"