I Rented a Raccoon to Simulate Having a Child

[@williamosman]

Little Willies, support the channel by buying my cat www.catwarehouse.com/pages/buy-my-cat

[@apersunthathasaridiculousl1890]

🌞

[@Tommo3756]

Hi

[@isaacgonzalez4861]

I'll buy a cat

[@biginfluencer5252]

Hey big Willie

[@greenbeancanned7123]

Ok

[@yanoushka]

"Hundred years ago, dad's only job was to get drunk and inflict permanent psychological damage on the family. when did the rules became so complicated ?" I cried

[@spectrecustoms5640]

“EmOTioNal DaMAge” -that one guy who makes videos

[@WOKEchair]

What's worse is that it's true Although it wasn't intended Like how the fathers weren't intended

[@RealBelisariusCawl]

Apparently it was the same thirty years ago too.

[@piccalillipit9211]

MY DAD was a super dad - he inflicted the psychological damage whilst T total

[@trevorlebaron1596]

Really my dad did that but not 500 years ago

[@matterwiz1689]

"all he wanted to do was hide under the table and eat cheezits off the ground" that's exactly what i was like as a kid. This is a perfect simulation of parenthood.

[@zappy312]

Now that you mention it, I did spend a lot of time under our kitchen table as a kid.

[@michaelgrimes9942]

i read this right as william said it in the video

[@matterwiz1689]

@@michaelgrimes9942 yeah, i did that on purpose

[@dustyboialex]

that's how I am now and I'm 19

[@perregrinne2500]

I didn't have cheezits growing up, only gum stuck to the bottoms of tables...

[@csquared1331]

“All he wanted to do was hide under the table and eat cheezits off the ground”. Having a toddler myself, I would say this sounds like pretty spot on toddler behavior.

[@spookydad7389]

I was this kid until i was at least 12, it's pretty damn spot on

[@MarshiiRose]

I also was that kid before and I regret nothing

[@jeffrbake]

@@MarshiiRose I regret growing up...

[@redliv]

That is so adorable 🥰

[@olympian00]

@@spookydad7389 i do this now tbh

[@CheshieD]

Watching this knowing that they found out they were having a kid the same day the raccoon arrived oddly makes the stress in the video make more sense

[@emmett382]

I know right!!

[@emmett382]

I just came from the “I made a kid” vid and I’m so stressed about how he reacts

[@michaelkartman3543]

The part where you wonder why you’re doing so much for Oliver when he doesn’t appreciate any of it is honestly the most practice you could get for having kids

[@yippykiay13]

But damn do they give good hugs.

[@mooselove]

@@yippykiay13 that sounds extremely creepy my dude 😂

[@michaeltagor4238]

@@mooselove you don't have a kid then

[@Iera_Thaumaturgy]

@@yippykiay13they do, their hugs are wholesome

[@shianeruu4359]

@@mooselove You are the only person insinuating that liking hugs from children is creepy. You're the creepy one here

[@PaulHofreiter]

It’s actually shockingly similar how that raccoon acted compared to a toddler, speaking as a parent, minus the actual achieved height of the climbing.

[@sydneyhobbs9817]

Speak for yourself. This is exactly what my brother was like. By four he taught me how to climb a support beam to the roof.

[@MercuryA2000]

@@sydneyhobbs9817 That's a terrifying thought. Your poor parents.

[@swimmyswim417]

Yeah, when my brother was four he loved to climb on top of our refrigerator and freak out our poor mom.

[@Jadeserphant]

My youngest could climb on top of the fridge before I could cross the room to stop him. Lol

[@BloodFox49]

My older sister taught me to shimmy up the door frames when mom would put us in time-out. Eventually she looked at my 6 year old angy face, with my hand slapped on the ceiling and went "okay well as long as you stay there" and went about her business with a ten minute timer and making sure I was still there by keeping an ear out for the "THUMP" that came with my descent. My mom was admirable with her parenting. She had a similar strategy for when I had tantrums in the grocery store. Meaning she would pick me up, plop me in a spot of her choice and let me wear myself out while she continued her shopping within eye shot of me. I now apply this strategy with my cat son when he goes a little too goblin mode but also with cat toys for distraction.

[@Infectd]

I was skeptical but then I saw how much he ignored you and how little he appreciated everything you did. Turns out you were right, exactly like a toddler.

[@lindapillow8413]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@DeathChamberSPAZ]

I am sure Gobbler probably complained afterwards that this was the worst day of his life!

[@MartellaNutella]

The fact they found out she was pregnant the day the raccoon showed up 😂

[@Rahnonymous]

Wait, she was pregnananant with the raccoon?!? 🤡🤡🤡

[@PRAYINGMANTIS.]

​@@Rahnonymous premgnant***

[@soXCold]

Pregante

[@pbee.njayay444]

@@soXColdpregante in the accent is my favorite one

[@Spacesatyr6565]

Plepurgeltant

[@MaKSokami]

Valuable experience! Just add: - Kids will not be quiet like this racoon - They will not always explore by themselves and instead can chase you everywhere not giving you any space - They will not let you have decent sleep. Some kids - for years - Smaller kids cannot climb as good as this racoon, so they are more likely to fall and end up in ER or even die. - A kid would push a chair and start playing with kitchen knifes that racoon has ignored. Kids are suicidal and house has to transform or constant supervision is needed.

[@CorinnaAtHome]

Accurate

[@ctakitimu]

And kids have opposable thumbs. Much more havoc with that.

[@solis_nova]

accurate. i had my nephews over at my house for a month, and they somehow managed to pour salt and pepper all over my sisters bed, spread lotion over our entire kitchen floor and themselves, and pour honey onto the carpet all in a week

[@esmeesmeralda701]

Accurate

[@petrri323]

Also they're going to be around for the next 60-70 years. The first 18 of which you're on tab for.

[@buffbarneystan3280]

Omg why is this actually kind of a good way to practice taking care of a toddler? All it's missing is the continuous screaming and the lack of sleep.

[@velinas_]

Toddlers are not really supposed to scream. That's more of a problem with some newborn ( not all, some are blessedly silent).

[@buffbarneystan3280]

@@velinas_ huh. Guess every toddler I've met just really hated me lol

[@danimack38]

Toddlers scream. Not like infants for assistance but as a form of psychological torture

[@1_star_reviews]

I don’t think this is accurate. Toddlers are easier to train.

[@arewahaircaretv8718]

Screaming? What kind of kids do you have?

[@Dullrig]

Lots of respect for arming your cat so you know he’s safe.

[@johnjriggsarchery2457]

Cats and raccoons aren't natural enemies.

[@wessltov]

@@johnjriggsarchery2457 I doubt Jimbo would get along with the opossum Will tried to catch earlier

[@earthtowise8040]

@@wessltov I'm tired of this opossum propaganda... the red squirrels are the actual enemy.

[@pillowscout]

​@@johnjriggsarchery2457 Anything and anyone can be a natural enemy if they start beating the fuck out of you.

[@themiller3940]

@@johnjriggsarchery2457 no but raccoons have been known to kill cats. I particularly hear they drown cats, actually.

[@indig0icee]

Giving the raccoon a Nutella gun next to the decorative cream pillow gave me an inordinate amount of anxiety

[@EvanSam]

Oh my god you’re mee😂😂😂

[@bridykes9986]

😆 saying I chose something kids can't seem to keep their hands off of 🤦‍♀️😂 then puts Nuttela on it 😅

[@bricekrispees]

the kids will destroy it, it's okay

[@jedyjoey]

I was watching this while my mom was in the room and she asked what it was so I said a guy got a racoon to simulate what it's like to have a child and her immediate reaction was, "I hope he doesn't try to breast feed it."

[@vigilantcosmicpenguin8721]

Now I'm disappointed he didn't at least hold out a little baby bottle for the raccoon.

[@CodeeXD]

Bro you're mom's on another one

[@sasuke921231]

I laughed so hard at this I can imagine it being held like a baby 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@nyaradhiambo]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@TSUNAMI-MAMI]

Lmfaoooo your mom is hilarious

[@gatsbysdead]

I was fully expecting this to be the worlds most elaborate pregnancy announcement

[@EEEEEEEE]

E‎ ‎

[@jiru331]

Damn me too. Lol

[@ggwonder4484]

Same ahaha

[@maildaemon]

@@u-lilhissy I promise you can be wholesome on the internet

[@Foxboi681]

@@u-lilhissy b.but what did you expect this video to be then??

[@alechanted]

It's totally like a kid, except kid would also constantly ask trivial questions about literally everything they see, until your brain melts.

[@MartinFinnerup]

Of course. The world is entirely new to them, so everything is weird and confusing. I kinda envy that sense of wonder these days.

[@Starinthesky826]

Animaniacs was totally spot with Mindy, of Mindy and Buttons. Why!? Why?! Why?! WHY!? Ok I love you! Buuuu Bye!!

[@Braham_the_Terror]

That's the best part thought

[@TinkersKustomPaintball]

why?

[@flubnub266]

@@Braham_the_Terror Maybe for some people. For those of us who say we "are bad with children" that's easily one of top 3 things we can't handle.

[@nikkig4802]

The raccoon teaches the most important lesson about children, just cause you buy it or think they’ll like it doesn’t mean they will. And hide your garbage

[@wackyzany3397]

Seeing william make an artificial butt for the raccoon tail and remembering he has an engineering degree is like seeing michael scott make a business deal and remembering he's a good business man

[@SaitoGray]

Yeah, that solution was so simple and élégant. Top notch fake butt.

[@Fenwayb]

It definitely came with a way to attach it he just wasn't willing to use it

[@Ryanrulesok]

It was a furry butt plug so I'm glad he modified it

[@Sluggga]

Are you talking about the butt plug??? Lmao wtf shit is nasty

[@stefanejegod8644]

@@SaitoGray I mean.. engineering a solution is usually not about simplicity. The simple way to attach it would've been just to cut the ...well the buttplug off, and attach it with a piece of duct tape. William engineered a solution that would allow the use of the item, without altering the item... Which is ...yeah the most engineering method, but it's definitely not the most simple method. He probably had to spend like ...4 hours designing, printing, redesigning and replinting that thing.

[@tylerblack3962]

This is by far one of the best “parenthood” practice videos ever, best part, the “baby” is cute, fluffy and doesn’t scream cry.

[@aprettyflyguy]

It just has a chance to hiss

[@scurvofpcp]

The lack of diapers is a plus as well.

[@kip258]

Raccoons aren't good training imo because they're nocturnal.

[@sfshilo]

Agreed, this is extremely close.

[@alexyochum5648]

Okay, raccoon owner here. Its like a baby, mixed with a monkey, dog, and cat… except one that can scale vertical walls😬 not as easy as it seems. Theyre super cute and fun though. They have so much personality

[@TheEddykotta]

"all he wanted to do was hide under the table and eat cheez-its from the floor" Willy, that's exactly what having a child is like

[@arin2747]

thats also just a regular Thursday for me, a taxpaying adult with a graduate degree

[@jeaniecameron295]

​@@arin2747 same

[@mezmerizer0266]

@@arin2747 it's all I can afford to do in the last couple years.

[@dubiouscloud5115]

For some reason I read this line as though it was said by the narrator of the Stanley parable. Strangely, it works.

[@LiveSeruio]

@@dubiouscloud5115 that works way to well.

[@jenshere2090]

Ok, wildlife rehabber here. I was ready to HATE this because of the whole “renting” of this poor raccoon. (Rehabbers are not fans of anyone keeping wildlife as pets.) I have to say, I found this hilarious! The raccoon was obviously well taken care of and really seemed to be enjoying himself while trying to destroy your home in the process…lol. Have no fear, you two are going to make fantastic parents!

[@rrteppo]

Is it true that of the wildlife animals raccoons are the closest to being domesticated, other than some European foxes? Or was the book I read a few years back wrong?

[@mom.left.me.at.michaels9951]

Yeah I was a bit concerned at first but the handlers being there the whole time made me feel much better.

[@cahan557]

@@rrteppoI don’t think that’s true. I think the exact definition of “domesticated” varies between fields but generally it refers to having a mutualistic relationship with humans (we provide them their required resources and they provide us a service or resource). I think some other fields base it off of other things like how the animal instinctively reacts to humans (wild horses mainly run from humans but domestic horses are usually cautious but will approach humans). Based on these two definitions, I would say no to both. Raccoons are well adapted for urban living (like a pigeon or rat) but are not specifically domesticated. They scavenge from the waste of humans but they don’t interact with humans to provide a resource or service. Raccoons are also instinctively aggressive and prefer independence so will not do well cohabiting with a human. Raccoons would likely have to stop being aggressive with humans to begin domestication. It would be fun to live in a world where governments have a program that lets raccoons turn in picked-up plastics for recycling to get food but raccoons don’t seem to be willing to engage in that sort of relationship.

[@kslidzorous]

​@cahan557 pigeons are domesticated they didn't adapt we bred them to be that way

[@jasonmyneni8605]

Pet raccoons (at least in California) aren’t wild anymore. They are bred by breeders and domesticated (ish). You have to be a licensed wildlife rehabber to even touch a wild raccoon.

[@lukeskywalker7878]

This was actually more heartfelt than I was expecting it to be

[@pineapple_screw8368]

i cried

[@steven12426]

@@pineapple_screw8368 same bro

[@asldfkjgl]

If you like this check out 'the rehearsal' by Nathan Fielder which this is probably 'inspired' from

[@matthewb9981]

@@asldfkjgl totally gave me rehearsal vibes

[@EEEEEEEE]

E‎ ‎

[@Nybson]

“Having a child is either a living nightmare, or this raccoon isn’t a good substitute for a kid” Probably both.

[@avasinistra]

Honestly it depends on the kid he's exactly like my four-year-old nephew.

[@ZackMC937]

The funny part is I was at this scene when reading this yes I loved it

[@anthonystaton3740]

I have a daughter who is two, she climbs on everything.

[@TJ-bn2cn]

😂😂 lol the secrets parents don’t share, so they get grandchildren! 😊

[@noitallmanaz]

i have a 15 year old girl. I love her to death. But living nightmare is an exact description.

[@candiwalkowski7480]

My son’s 3rd birthday, he screamed and cried at Chucky Cheese, kept taking off his clothes, and all he wanted to do was eat gum from under the tables. He also liked to climb the fridge and the coats in the coat closet back then. Raccoons aren’t far off.

[@pommiebears]

My son would get naked any time he could, ever since he could walk…..he’s been exposing himself! He’s 25 years old now, and over Christmas dinner, his girlfriend told me that he comes home from work, puts the kettle on for a cup of tea, whilst that boils…..he gets naked and walks around with his twig and berries, without any shame. So, your boy will always want to be naked, even when he grows up, and is suppose to wear clothes! Lol.

[@serena1951]

@@pommiebears I think maybe that's just a...your son...kinda thing..😭😭

[@testerwulf3357]

@@pommiebears That’s a your son thing 🙃 I hated having clothes on as a kid, now I wear more than necessary..

[@Zomana9]

@@pommiebears Huh.

[@stokhosursus]

First favorite part @ 7:58. Oh! They gave you a way to attach the tail, but probably not in the way you’d appreciate too much. 😂

[@spook6394]

Never understood that, like bro the tailbone is significantly higher than the asshole.

[@TheBuddel]

Skill issue

[@killingtimeitself]

@@spook6394 u cant just put an asshole where the tailbone is though

[@jimmypenguinny]

@@spook6394 tail buttplugs aren't exactly made for accuracy

[@spook6394]

@@killingtimeitself that’s true you can’t do that

[@tylerray1368]

"You need to childproof the house." *Leaves knife block out in perfect raccoon range, allowing raccoon stabbies.*

[@vigilantcosmicpenguin8721]

I'm sure a raccoon can be trusted with knives, right?

[@Rowdimouse]

it seems like the only child proofing he did was outlet covers

[@mortalsno4086]

Fun fact! Raccoons are naturally avid chefs and will filet food for you if given a knife! Try this out with the wild raccoons in your neighborhood!

[@Bookieson]

One thing I learned from this video: Everything is in raccoon range.

[@The_Dominated]

the first comment i typed went against youtube tos but just know i think your cringe and dislike you

[@beautifulbutterflies2174]

The fact that your Raccoon tail is actually a butt plug is effing hilarious. “The seller didn’t give me anything to attach it with.” Well played William😁

[@neonlacee]

When he said 'plug' twice I was dying XDXD

[@frankierzucekjr]

He's one funny dude

[@pulsefuture4156]

I wasn't gonna say anything but.....

[@emotrash6957]

@the only god that’s pretty smart

[@emotrash6957]

i want it

[@ThePenguinMan]

“Don’t worry, I gave him a gun.” Is the most American thing I’ve ever heard.

[@johntomik4632]

I'm from Alabama and totally agree.

[@miammajor]

So true 😂😂😂

[@petitmeowmeow]

I instantly subscribed at that.

[@petitmeowmeow]

@@syzl___ ... I mean the joke was that it's a cat, dude. Cat's can't use guns.

[@walli7754]

@@syzl___ it's a joke dude, smile

[@TheDavidSolomon]

This video makes a lot more sense after he said that he’s going to have a kid in the “I made a baby” video and they found out in the making of this video😭

[@aurorahasfallen]

To be honest, that raccoon acted better then 80% of human children

[@aurorahasfallen]

@omareew ok I won’t lol he deleted his comment in shame

[@no1frenchfri]

As a parent I agree. This shows how they get into everything but not the emotional turmoil my daughter did to me

[@screechingcosby]

A raccoon wrote this, the spelling confirms it

[@maildaemon]

Honestly, the climbing and exploring is exactly what my cat does. I could make her a wooden dumpster and she'd jump right in She's just like a little child, down to the constant need for attention

[@saucyBot]

And 80% of the racoon pets

[@caramelapplejollyrancher]

as a mom to a 1 year old this is definitely what it feels like to have a toddler. especially when you planned an entire party and said the raccoon didnt care. me too

[@ladyeowyn42]

My kiddo cried at his first birthday cupcake. Big loud sobbing tears. The candle was a bad idea, apparently scared the hell out of him.

[@VoltisArt]

First (perhaps two or three?) birthdays and funerals are really the same deal. The featured person isn't actually who they're for, and they probably won't remember either way.

[@Trump2024asw]

​@@VoltisArtI can't remember anything behind 7

[@obiwankenobi543]

Put your baby in a metal cage with a battle bot and see who will win

[@GioGio-fq1vl]

Lmao this is why my mother would wait til we either hit 5 or became sentient to start throwing us birthday parties, she said there was no point in doing it if we didn't care. My brother, who is her first kid, slept through his birthday party when he turned 1.

[@poggers3218]

I like how he thinks it would be weird/creepy to rent a kid but Nathan Fielder built an entire show around that concept.

[@Lovin_NY93]

This is Nathan for you

[@killemdeader1189]

And it was weird lol

[@zoemorehead7515]

fr someone hook him up

[@mooselove]

What show did he do where you could rent a kid? Not Nathan for you, I don’t recall kid rentals on there.

[@pedrorocha6960]

@@mooselove it's called the rehearsal

[@LabraDoodleDraws]

This is making me feel SO BAD for my mom…I am a quadruplet…who has adhd…my poor mother had FOUR RACCON CHILDREN IN HER HOUSE

[@Miracle12348]

Hey I’m a triplet- O:

[@nissan_skyline]

Oh.. your poor mother LOL On a side note.. Wow, a quadruplet?! How rare! Did your mother conceive you guys naturally? That's even more rare.

[@bridykes9986]

Oh wow 😅

[@originalparafan]

“All he wanted to do was hide under the table and eat cheez-its off of the ground” Yup, you got yourself a toddler.

[@BREASHONTELL]

😂❤

[@Derek_Wyld]

I'm 28 and that sounds kinda fun ngl

[@kat__rapunzel]

"Maybe being a parent isn't about things going right but learning how do deal with things going wrong" that's a great line

[@tomlxyz]

Actually really spot on given that the child growing up will make a lot of mistakes to learn

[@QWERTYUIOP-ed7sv]

True.. instead of saying 'no'. I tell my niece/nephews they can only cry in low volumes if something were to happen in their jumping games.

[@guccilife784]

No

[@EnshourT_]

"is that a Raccoon?" William lost the biggest opportunity to say: "No, that's my son"

[@wackydoggs]

or act as though the raccoon had somehow snuck in without his knowledge and pretend to be horrified

[@thevocatiousunspeakables709]

This is called "foreshadowing"

[@MeganDinerman]

“All he wanted to do was hide under the table and eat Cheez-its off the ground.” This is pretty much exactly parenthood. You, caretaker, and the raccoon survived the day and your house was still more or less okay. Mission accomplished, sir. You have officially done more research than over 99% of prospective parents.

[@Kristenhas3cats]

Yep, I thought it would be ridiculous, but this was just your average day with a child around the one year mark... He's lucky it's cheezits under the table, when my poor kid was a baby she found cat vomit under there. Totally ate it too, because kids and raccoons are surprisingly similar.

[@wessltov]

If more people would do this kind of research, the species would die out

[@WE.R.NOT.OK.W.U.TRMP_GTFO]

hehe, that was me. I'm still addicted, but I'm controlling the floor food habit Oo ...eh, I have relapsed a few times. hehe

[@StraveTube]

I've never felt more relieved than when it was revealed that there were handlers there to keep the Oliver safe.

[@ladysauce2508]

im 5 minutes into the video. thank u for this comment because i already feel extremely stressed and worried for oliver's health edit: i also think its funny you refer to oliver as "The Oliver" as if oliver is a singular noun

[@StraveTube]

@@ladysauce2508 That was 100% a typo, but I'm just gonna leave it and pretend it was on purpose. Oliver deserves the definite article.

[@vickijo2343]

Wtf are you talking about? Raccoons are resourceful creatures...keep him safe from what? Lol

[@Deadpool4president]

​@@vickijo2343 human stupidity 👍👌

[@crazy_mind-ox8if]

GOB-IL-ER NOT OL-IV-ER. Get it right.

[@onetwosky5625]

thank you for saying care taker is your wife because i always thought she was a government mandated person to take care of you.

[@d_9696]

One doesn't necessarily exclude the other

[@kismet8010]

She's both

[@mfaizsyahmi]

The word you're looking for is "handler" btw.

[@Glizard-Wizard]

Don't worry, William is still a ward of the state

[@123deserted]

@@d_9696 she was sent to take care of him but they had to keep him calm by making her act like his wife, hope this helps😁

[@marynewsom6037]

I’ve rewatched this video a few times, and just realized that a) Gobbler’s breakfast was made into a happy face, and b) they were able to save some family vhs tapes from the fire, and both made me sniffle a bit. Congrats to Chelsea and Will on the birth of their baby!

[@zell9058]

As a father of 4 kids, The raccoon is actually pretty close.

[@adityabhatt4186]

As kid myself, the racoon is pretty kid.

[@lildarian]

As a raccoon, the father is pretty raccoon.

[@jtodd0221]

I’ve got two kids and I was sitting here thinking “damn that’s actually a lot of what it’s like.” They don’t appreciate anything, they’re messy, they don’t eat when or what you want them to. But those little moments of joy make it all worth while.

[@guycha0s380]

Kids are annoying

[@scribbleshiann]

chasing him down the hallway saying "Its part of a complete breakfast" had me dying

[@vigilantcosmicpenguin8721]

He's saying it as if the raccoon is going to somehow understand what it means. Which is exactly the same as a kid.

[@sameehaarshad1954]

4:40

[@sarahcole4892]

And screaming "it's part of a complete breakfast!" 😂

[@bertlestien2314]

The most realistic part is William questioning himself in the car heading to the store

[@lore_shards]

"I'm just going to get some milk and go home" "I'm just going to get some smokes and go home" " I'm just going to smoke some milk and go home" "I'm going home...." "maybe"..

[@EEEEEEEE]

E‎ ‎

[@Joemamashouse69]

When this video came out, I remember thinking "Caretaker's probably pregnant and they just aren't saying anything"

[@kvg4790]

“He’s eating the breakfast I prepared for him. I feel like I have succeeded as a parent.” Yep, that’s about how it goes. At the end of a hard day I sometimes ask myself, “Did they get seriously injured? Did they get sufficiently fed?” If no and yes, then today was successful.

[@FlowerItzel18]

as a parent of a 3 year old this is extremely accurate, the only eating the toothpaste, not eating all of the food, climbing on places he’s not supposed to, the hissing at you, waking you up, playing with a gun 🙄 yea almost everything. But y’all did great 😂😂

[@whitepouch0904]

Sounds like my cats 😂

[@GirthquakeTheGoat]

playing with a gun?

[@Judgeangels]

@@GirthquakeTheGoat that's the most concerning part of this sentence

[@Ingrid922]

@@GirthquakeTheGoat Did you watch the video?

[@BigDavoNorriwong]

@@GirthquakeTheGoat Americans

[@ThatOneGuy-ew1mb]

The fact that he doesn't know what he's doing means he's just like all the other parents in the world

[@arbiter-]

for real. I feel like as children we just assume our parents have it figured out and know what they're doing but the reality is everyone is just making it up as they go

[@ac.creations]

@@arbiter- I have enough trouble keeping myself alive let alone a hairless raccoon

[@YounesLayachi]

Which is a big problem

[@menelik6635]

Right so let's normalize at least reading a fucking book before having a child.

[@EEEEEEEE]

E‎ ‎ ‎

[@KatBaumgarten]

The fact they found out Chelsea was pregnant the day Oliver/Gobbler arrived is so fucking funny

[@Babernad]

It’s ok William. We’re all your children at heart ❤️ (I ran over 2 people this morning)

[@fellowcomrade7914]

Epic 😎

[@heeheehayftw3905]

We all make mistakes! Just make sure you don't do it next time 😁 Love mum

[@itswarhawk]

Based

[@ToriKo_]

+

[@at0micr0b0t]

Relatable

[@zacharytaylor190]

I just love that opossum's expression, perfectly encapsulating an apex predator coming up to you, chattering, and walking away.

[@thebiggestcheems]

in general something 20 times your size is terrifying.

[@MuktiLuv]

the 15 band-aids on his hands after is priceless...

[@freewaybaby]

O’possum…LOLOLOL

[@zacharytaylor190]

@@freewaybaby that's how its spelled, like ot or not.

[@freewaybaby]

@@zacharytaylor190 Spelling has nothing to do with it. I don’t know what video you were watching; I was watching one about a raccoon, not an o’possum.

[@itzjobi]

Raccoons and Children are more alike than we'll ever know

[@Spookynessi]

@Don't read profile photo ok I won’t

[@DecipleofGru]

very true lol

[@chefsrule4443]

Bro just ratio’d William

[@Drakith90]

I had a pet raccoon as a kid and lemme tell ya.. that fucker was way more suicidal than I ever was. Sadly he was also more successful. Bastard got behind the washing machine and well.. 10 amps is enough to stop an adult human heart.

[@organicleaf]

@@chefsrule4443 people unitonicly use "ratio'd"??

[@hopedodson8058]

Your idea is really a good one! Gobbler was very much like a kid (having raised 2 myself). The only other suggestions I would have are: 1. Take him with you to the grocery store and tell him “no” to candy. 2. He is an easy kid since he didn’t have a full on melt down at his own birthday party. 3. You need to add another raccoon or two to the mix so you can have the full parental experience of hearing “get out of my room!” and “why does he get the big piece?” on a daily basis. 4. Take all the raccoons on a family vacation in the car no fewer than 600 miles from home. That way you can enjoy the non-stop fights, complaining and crippling expense of making memories together. 😊

[@sarawayne4310]

this ended up being a surprisingly sweet video and then he turned his cat into a living nft

[@Hexagonian]

This is the kind of non-sense I subscribed for. I can't say I'm not satisfied.

[@clausroquefort9545]

nah it's the redemption arc for established titles that we never got

[@sarawayne4310]

I'm not saying I don't like the idea, I support big willy in his non fungible cat business and anything cat warehouse does is valid (especially what happened during the company picnic)

[@WilliamHollinger2019]

He was acting like established titles

[@juniper3955]

I thought it was going to be an actual NFT but the receipt is actually physical.

[@erinbs1072]

I have 3 children. This is exactly what it’s like to have kids. Including them crawling into places they can’t get out of.

[@GrandDawggy]

I'll never forget the fear it caused me when all of a sudden my brothers little one started screaming bloody murder cuz she climbed into a gap behind a sofa and couldn't climb out like she was fine but her child brain must of told her "this is the end"

[@meh6513]

@@GrandDawggy was she fine tho? What if she was stuck while you weren't there to help she would be too weak to move the sofa and free herself... Children like adults can only do one thing at a time it's just adult have enough experience to quicker switch from squirming to screaming to despair and then back to squirming or keeping still and thinking of what to do as your brain slowly gets filled with blood slowly killing you... 🤓👆 I hate when people say "child was fine" no they weren't at least in their mind... parents are like mysterious guiding angel or god, it's hard to be confidently aware of their intentions... children are selfish and will usually become more independent from always thinking about themselves and no one else kids are selfish and will continue to be so unless taught otherwise...if a child think they are done for it's not because they chose not to think of a solution. it's more like there are no thoughts left or at least no other different solutions in mind...all those thoughts are blocked from both ignorance on how get themselves out of hairy situations by themselves or want to ask for help but not know if they will be heard if they can't literally see their parents or have any of their five senses aware of the parents or someone's existence... Unless you are girl taught to scream when in danger you will find some boys literally hesitate to do it unless aware of someone will be available to call for help rather than blindly screaming for help as many girls are taught

[@GrandDawggy]

@@meh6513 dude you are like strangely projecting. The child could have walked around the sofa there was enough room she just panicked for a second. It's crazy to me that you made up your own narrative.

[@meh6513]

@@GrandDawggy i assumed if she simply walked in and forgot that she can just backwards fine she was probably just confused...my assumption that OP says climb is that the child stood on the sofa and then climb on the backseat and then fell head first into the area behind the sofa aand couldn't get pull herself herself out but maybe not

[@ArenMarks]

" I gave my cat a gun" had me laughing but "the seller didn't give any way to attach it" had me dying

[@andrewspencer499]

I love that they found out she was pregnant the day the raccoon came to their house 😂😂😂

[@grace4535]

“don’t worry, i gave my CAT a gun” i’m actually crying with laughter.

[@grace4535]

like the solution isn’t “oh let’s apply to become foster parents” it’s “let’s rent a goddamn *raccoon* “

[@Judgeangels]

@@grace4535 foster parenting is way harder because 1. You gotta go through this whole process vs if you just rent a raccoon they check your place out check you out and then give you the racoon 2. Foster parenting could also come with having a child with an unknown background god knows what they're used to vs a racoon could probably care less so yeah I would rather rent a racoon then foster a child

[@tumblingartist]

2:48

[@JujFuj]

And so began the feline uprising, all according to their grand plan!!!

[@Smommasboy]

gotta love how chill Dax is about the fact that Will has a freaking raccoon roaming around in the background, He's just like " well I don't mind, it's interesting". What a pure human

[@clowwwwwwwn]

...he's just a weird dude, what is so pure about him probably being autistic?

[@vigilantcosmicpenguin8721]

That's the best possible reaction.

[@SapphiR3_]

This was actual heartwarming when u saw that as a kid, you kinda acted like the racoon, as in not cooperating etc. Its like you came a full circle. Nice vid!

[@vigilantcosmicpenguin8721]

Yeah, that could not have been better if it was scripted.

[@tdoyr]

Bro was even hiding like a raccoon

[@jayz8839]

Just when you thought you had seen all the stupid you needed for a lifetime, a guy thought having a racoon is like having a kid... Male version of a crazy cat lady.

[@MsButterflygirl101]

I think you have hit the nail on the head with this Raccoon kid experiment. That was exactly like having a toddler except you were spared the tantrums. You got off lightly.😂😂

[@blackgem12]

As someone who had a raccoon as a pet. This hit the nail on the head, cause raccoons, like kids, require a lot of patience, a healthy amount of tolerance, and ALOT of willpower. Cause our raccoon behaved a lot like that, but had her chill moments. We had to keep so many things away from her, lock so many doors with childproof locks, and keep an eye on our food constantly. But we still loved every moment with her, and up untill her death. RIP trixie

[@guineapig0983]

Im sorry for your loss. Trixie is happier now

[@thenetherbaddie9760]

I'm sorry, she sounds like she was an amazing girl. RIP

[@brammutje15]

the part where you watched back old home videos of yourself was really wholesome. you'd make a great father william

[@gcj8925]

Yeah, I came to watch dumb videos. I didn't expect to FEEL.

[@matthew-ph6xo]

I liked that part too. Maybe it was unintentional, but it showed how in a way, he was Oliver once, and that Oliver *is* basically a child, proving himself wrong, since in the home video young William acted in a similar way to Oliver throughout the video, being uncooperative and climbing on things when his family was trying to celebrate his birthday.

[@EEEEEEEE]

E‎ ‎

[@glowrm]

@@u-lilhissy Easy target for what man? We're not robots, feeling is healthy n normal.

[@VSpooner]

i like to picture William’s future child stumbling across the video of everyone singing happy birthday, thinking it’s going to be them sitting in front of the cake just to find out they adopted a raccoon. 11:14

[@Triffinator1]

Easy. Name your kids Gobbler and Oliver. Convince them they were Raccoons before "the surgery".

[@UwUDaniUwU]

@@Triffinator1 genius, gaslight the kids into thinking they were trash pandas

[@mattex3396]

@@Triffinator1 i spent a good minute laughing

[@AndrewSteffenHB]

Lol

[@pinkcloud8182]

i mean, i feel like it kinda is what having a kid is like? they surprise you and don’t meet whatever expectations you had, but you still love and accept them and do stuff for them:’)

[@sasquachbug1300]

Your wife has endless patience for your shenanigans and frankly if that isn’t goals I don’t know what is

[@pardn]

She's a kindergarten teacher or something so really it's probably about the same at home. Also, Michael Reeves used to room with them.

[@pvic6959]

@@pardn but the poor woman doesnt get a break :( LOL

[@angusmatheson8906]

Fuck I miss my wife :(

[@AlonzoJamie]

@@angusmatheson8906 I too miss this guy’s wife. Oh woops this isn’t reddit

[@GolenCheeseIt]

@@angusmatheson8906 You doin okay, man? It's been a while. How's life?

[@Azragamel]

When he asked about the raccoon behind you there was definitely a golden opportunity to play dumb and freak out.

[@pvic6959]

or be like "i dont see one?"

[@SAerror1]

I'm really sad he didn't just casually respond "oh, this is my son Oliver" and refuse to acknowledge that he's a raccoon

[@vigilantcosmicpenguin8721]

It looked like he was definitely considering it.

[@talvarado2834]

The birthday party scene is what I wish happened at my birthday parties. I'm autistic and it felt like you were making necessary accommodations that alot of autistic individuals need. From not singing loudly, to letting the raccoon self sooth by walking away, and letting it behave how it understands to behave. I miss alot of social ques and hiding under a table is something I've done alot as a kid, even at public events. Letting it be was a kind accommodation. I wish I wasn't comparing myself to a raccoon but I am haha. There was just so much parallel with this video that I felt like I had to say something. I think this experience was way more beneficial than you guys realize ❤

[@9490-j7n]

William, the ever present intense anxiety you experienced of "what am I doing and am I doing it right?" Along with the "holy crap this is hard, but also, they're cute and I want the best for them" is about 85% of parenting. Simulation successful if you ask me. You're going to make mistakes but if the amount you care about them outweighs the exhaustion of a creature ransacking your house and life, then you'll be a good parent. Good luck on your journey and don't tell the kid you tested out parenthood with a racoon until they're atleast 16 years old. By then they'll know their dad well enough that it'll make sense. Before then, it'll give them crippling emotional damage.

[@CrazyNerdInventor]

Push this comment up guys!

[@vigilantcosmicpenguin8721]

I think William could totally pull off a joke like, "Yeah, originally we wanted to get a raccoon, but things didn't work out so you were our second choice."

[@demontaharvey2228]

I made the mistake of saying that my oldest kid was a "whoops baby" out loud while she was in the same room and now she brings it up in every argument. Don't make that mistake.

[@jpierce717]

This seems like one of the healthier ways to handle the existential angst of being a parent.

[@YounesLayachi]

William gets a random thought and sees it through and instead of going "that would be crazy" and moving on with his day xD

[@chevvvv]

you're right, kenya

[@stickmouse5002]

Just do not feed your raccoon Nutella . It's like giving a child raw bean paste. Both are poisonous to them, but the Nutella is tastier.

[@vigilantcosmicpenguin8721]

William Osman's solution somehow being healthy. That's a first.

[@Vontyak]

Oliver did such a terrific job raising William.

[@Forgan_Mreeman]

“I planned an entire day for a raccoon but he just didn’t give a crap” lmao. subscribled

[@theone4782]

8:18 there is a other mechanism to attach the tail

[@LazyAviationDog]

💀

[@Sparrow_Bloodhunter]

hiding under a table and eating cheezits off the ground is something a toddler would 100% do, this test was very accurate.

[@coufar1971]

being a parent is 100% "don't piss the racoon off" incarnate.

[@blessedbeauty2293]

- 5:10 Wait.. you *can RENT A RACOON!?!?!* LMFAOO. TO CRAIGSLIST WE GOOOO

[@cpierce42]

William, the birthday party is an accurate representation of a 4-6 year old. On their birthday you will buy them amazing gifts but all they will want to play with is the cardboard box and a half crushed hot wheels (TM). Excellent simulation 11/10

[@humanname99]

I have videos of my 3yo cousin straight refusing to play with his birthday gifts while we all pretend to be amazed with how cool they are. it's so funny.

[@xoxoxo5286]

Don't make me cry man. Fuck, the home movie part really got me for some reason. I'm so happy he's doing so well, thanks for being exactly who you are William.

[@Lean42]

Same, I'm not sure why

[@ToriKo_]

Me too man, me too.

[@GaffsNotLaffs]

Same dude

[@psychomanatee3459]

Same, it was almost like a wave of nostalgia seeing like these childhood VHS tapes

[@Oscar4u69]

@@psychomanatee3459 yeah, thought the same, it puts in perspective how time has passed

[@zatho1233]

I wonder how else the manufacturer intended for that tail to be attached

[@WartimeFriction]

Yeah, it's strange. Somebody is really gonna have to sit and think on that one.

[@naseem.96]

its certainly not sexual

[@alcupone6462]

Question on hand is if it was bought for the video or if it was already in house.

[@TobiDyLetsPlay100]

@@alcupone6462 ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[@Sniperboy5551]

@Al Cupone That’s a good question

[@correypeta]

“And I’m not going to rent a kid because....” Hahahaha. I cracked up so much through this. Where have you been all my life.

[@Creeptid-dw3sm]

Idk why but the clip of raccoon with a birthday hat on and a bunch of people singing to him, along with the music and the vintage filter and the voice over talking about how he has failed, made me unironically emotional. It's like an album cover in video format that's how weird and uncanny and WHOLESOME it is.

[@natratcritter]

There a video called Racoon Birthday Party that looks just like it. Kinda creepy tbh

[@leandru7]

Yeah, I assume he was trying to recreate that video as a fun reference to it. I think that's why he switched to a different camera there.

[@michaelcoughlin8238]

I love how easily he opened the cabinet with the childproof catch multiple times.

[@CatZ3r0]

Why did I get emotional over you realizing you were literally just Gobbler the whole time as a child, and this was in fact the best way to prepare for a toddler.

[@Galaxy-456]

I KNOW RIGHT 😭

[@JRRedDawg]

I literally lived this video. When I found out that my first son was coming into the world. Some if my best friends found a little pink baby racoon maybe a few inches long. They brought it to me because I knew everyone in all the counties. I ended up keeping her and raising her for three years. She was 100 xs harder to raise than my first born son. She would sleep in crib with him. Thousand stories for sure haha. This is awesome! Thank you for bringing me back in memory! Blessings!

[@scrathed]

I don't know why, but that little shot of him sitting hunched up on the bed, looking STRAIGHT at the camera while rubbing his hands against the bed made me crack up so hard

[@TommyCallaway]

You went from trying to simulate real parenthood to selling your child to 2000 random people. I love this journey.

[@insederec]

a clap at the unnamable scottish landownership custom :^)

[@YounesLayachi]

@@insederec oooh I hadn't connected the dots xD

[@Sam_Kablam]

The toughest part of having a child is sacrificing the things you used to love, like bathtub-toast! I miss those days. 😢

[@Nonsens2015]

And now he has a child

[@non_brewed_condiment]

the description of what Oliver did during his birthday party (particularly the part about only wanting to hide under the table and eat Cheez-its off the ground) is actually a very close comparison to a toddler. this experiment was a lot more accurate than you thought, William...that should terrify you.

[@squeebaby2683]

So this is my introductory video to this channel... I must've stumbled onto a comedic goldmine. The human support circle to little Gobbiler was tear-jerking at 10:55.

[@LovelyLynn42]

This was my first video as well and I instantly subscribed! :)

[@AyshaLovesYou]

As a parent to a three year old, I can say that this is exactly what raising a toddler is like. The only thing that’s different is the raccoon won’t give you constant sass while yelling at you all the time.

[@EspressosWork]

as a former rehabber.. you'd be surprised. They're insanely sassy. I had one throw food at my face because they didn't like mealworms.

[@Universealchemy]

Being a raccoon parent sounds better everyday that passed

[@alt4374]

My name is Aysha and I can confirm for anyone wondering, I do in fact love you ❤❤😊

[@GuidoG93]

After your last video this hits different

[@Theo-ob8wm]

It do

[@Gardentrellis]

The raccoon tail part had me laughing.

[@enlightenedarchitect1673]

its definitely not a but plug! XP

[@bigqwertycat]

@@enlightenedarchitect1673 spark plug?

[@satan8350]

😂😂

[@Lacroix999]

@@enlightenedarchitect1673 I’ll glad I’m not the only one who caught that! 😂😂😂

[@starseedlightworker6539]

*no way to attach it* 🤣

[@GKXPress]

the thought of William being a dad is terrifying.. but at the same time i can see him being a good dad.

[@pvic6959]

imagine all the TOYs youd get omg

[@polarknight5376]

He is gonna be so so embarrassing when the kid turns into a teen.

[@YounesLayachi]

@@polarknight5376 nah, he'd be the coolest dad.

[@polarknight5376]

@@YounesLayachi oh, absolutely. He's also gonna gonna be a weird and embarrassing lunatic in front of his kid's friends, and he's gonna do it on purpose.

[@gavinyeet2618]

A great dad even

[@crimetimeproductions6340]

When I subscribed to this channel for the engineering projects, I never imagined It would turn into William chasing a terrified raccoon through his house while holding a shot glass of orange juice and repeating "PART OF A COMPLETE BREAKFAST" but here we are and I'm very happy with that tbh

[@sleepy_jean]

I know hindsight is 20/20 but even at the time, I was strongly suspicious that he was gonna have a kid. I just figured he wouldn't hide it for that long.

[@haihuanlin97]

If a human child was capable of that level of agility, it would be way worse than the racoon lol

[@august3542]

This honestly is the most realistic practice I've seen for a kid's birthday party

[@Cricket-L3gZ]

8:00 I really wasn’t expecting him to pull out a real fox tail like that 😭

[@zoethedomesticatedrat4389]

Same , also It kinda pains me seeing how he (very likely) supported a cruel fur farm :(

[@pawemozaryn5476]

7:44 i think the seller did include a way of attaching it..

[@Greene_Bean]

That’s what I’m saying