I think we all should start living like we’re in our 80’s…

This year on my birthday I'm skipping right over my 50's, 60's, and 70's and going right to my Golden 80's. And best believe I need all that SSI backpay.
Timothy Ward
Contact Email: [e-mail]
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Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender by David R. Hawkins amzn.to/3QFU2mF
The Magic of Thinking Big by David J. Schwartz amzn.to/3nd4N2j
The Enchiridion by Epictetus amzn.to/3NjNHKC
Living the Wisom of the Tao by Lao Tzu and Dr. Wayne Dyer amzn.to/3nh7wHW
A Happy Pocket Full of Money by David Cameron Gikandi amzn.to/3u1gbBT
The Wisdom of the Native Americans by Kent Nerburn amzn.to/3nfYVFj
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[@avon_archives]

funny how at the END of our life is when we finally START to live.

[@enigmathegrayman2953]

That is true!

[@Eternal32bloom]

You’re not wrong…

[@richradtylr4]

Too busy trying to accomplish out the goals Society tell us that's important.

[@micosstar]

factsssss - mico a man part of gen z @@richradtylr4

[@Rose56133]

True

[@finaldestination813]

"Many people die at 25 but aren't Buried until they are 75" ~ Benjamin Franklin

[@JunkerDriver999]

Facts I know plenty

[@OverallPlayerRatings]

I'm saving that good one :)

[@_Delta_P_]

today at 5am I woke up and took the dog out and it was raining out here in texas, I just stopped and looked up and took my hat off and let the drizzle just hit my face and hair and felt the wind. I felt alive just for those few seconds today.

[@micosstar]

LETS GOOOOOO bike rides gurantee that every DAY, i apprecaite life, and it's a positive feedback loop too!

[@TodaySatan]

You can’t buy that kind of happiness!

[@eternalabundance39]

Nice

[@josefadams647]

I FEEL YA

[@Miriam-ui5pw]

Sounds like a beautiful moment. I'm glad for you.

[@ronnyb9416]

I'm 62 and have been retired for years, married over 3 decades and no kids. What others think of us is not important, especially as they are still working while we are traveling the country and the world constantly! LOL! So we are having a fine time enjoying every day.

[@goddessofpeacelove5341]

Bless Up 💜💜💜

[@michaelschiessl8357]

@@goddessofpeacelove5341 truly blessed!!👍👍

[@cynthiakhan5483]

You are living my dream life!

[@user-mj2os1gn2e]

Noice

[@Michelle_Emm]

I'm 62, married 45 year's, 3 kid's, 5 grandkids, retired year's ago. Feel like I'm living in a constant state of stress from elderly parents, children and grandchildren. I love them dearly but if I had my time over I would have made different choices.

[@bigbanknewyork3655]

I used to sell life insurance. Fun fact: 22% of Americans don't see their 65th birthday. That Social Security check? You may never even see it.

[@hipatiavasquez]

Is a good idea to have life insurance?

[@Zizzyyzz]

Another fun fact: All by design. 🐍💲😈

[@laidman2007]

Make sure you'll have enough money to eat when you're 92 and take care of your body. LEARN NEW THINGS. In 2020, at the onset of the pandemic, I started to learn piano, Japanese on Duolingo; and, have since added electronics to my studies so I can repair my electric piano. Don't worry about the finished product, *the joy is in the process*. My life has never been better. Enjoy yours! Roberta (80)

[@AZTECKTHEBIGBOSS]

My theory: Everybody be self projecting their miserable lives upon others as a way to make themselves feel better about their miserable life. The human psychology is very complicated.

[@BigHini]

You got it ...... 💯

[@ENIGMAXII2112]

More than just a "theory", it is pretty much the truth. I have found it to be as such the more and more years pass by yours truly. Eventually you can see it from miles and miles away. That you call the person in question on it, and it does throw them right completely off...

[@keepmoving2023-ku7nb]

Don't let people do that to you.focus on you and your legacy

[@Zizzyyzz]

Hilarious. That's gonna be my go-to answer to shut people down, henceforth; *"I'm 83.* Don't bother me about that!" 👵🏽 😂

[@jumbothompson]

An 80 year old guy at a cafe once whispered to me, " I don't have to pretend like you guys anymore".

[@deborahk7667]

When I turned 50 I really stopped caring, don’t do anything I don’t want to either! No looking back ha!!!

[@jimb3093]

I'm 50, I am with you! I'll be 51 in December.

[@richardbrown9344]

Do you do what govt tells you?

[@rob-fb5xs]

From now on I’m going to be proud of my Sketchers 😂

[@TimothyWard]

😂

[@casper1240]

The Subtle Art of not giving a F**k 😅

[@ricksgypsy2512]

I stopped living according to other people's needs and opinions when I survived a major health crisis. I am 58 and I thank God for each minute I am alive. Life is too short to take anything for granted or put your happiness in someone else's hands. Timothy you are wise beyond your years. ❤❤❤

[@CarpeDiemRelax]

Remember, he's 83 😄

[@Zizzyyzz]

​@@CarpeDiemRelaxYup! Look at the flat cap! 🧢 😂

[@BIGGLou888]

I'm 54 spent bad choices Chasing women alot of previous years, lost alot of money, 2 divorces and a son from a hole poked in a condom by a safety pin from the 1st bad choice, literally and Specifically $58,000.00 later, from moving around, gaps in employment here and there, California interest & principal could bury someone!. Worked alot of warehouse jobs that are working me like an Egyptian slave, for $18 hr, while moat other jobs are paying less, just to make that extra 2 or 3 dollars all the time. Now I'm realizing it really ain't worth it. I'm not Me doing all this. I wake up positive and come home miserable. I worked and lived at Resorts in my 20's and I miss the never having to worry about food, or rent (comes out of my check), the jobs aren't nearly as back breaking or stressful as any job you'd find in a big city trying to keep up w/The Joneses. --> Do you have any advice or recommendations of how to get out of the Chaotic rusty wheel race, with very little income/an $18hr job. Any advice helps. I've had it Chasing money. When does the Chasing stop? When is enough money enough? As life goes by. Thanks for taking time to read This. I Appreciate You. God Bless You🙏

[@DJ239]

And this is why I'm subscribed to you Tim, you totally understand why all those societal expectations are just a trap to your happiness. I awoke to this at like 26 thank god. Being single is ok, not doing what everyone wants you to do is ok, it's called freedom.

[@enigmathegrayman2953]

I’ve got a different dilemma, I dress like I’m still living in the 80s. I can’t afford to live like I’m in my 80s right now. 😂😂😂

[@goddessofpeacelove5341]

There’s nothing wrong with that, actually a smart move 😊💜💜

[@odnilniloc]

😂

[@jocampbell6962]

😅😅

[@Karmin19991]

i love the 80s that was the coolest era, all those clothes are in thrift shops for cheap

[@LoveEmeraldTV]

No way 😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@titaniumcranium3755]

Forget 18, im 81. If i live like this, ill forever be happy thinking ill always be lucky to live

[@lovetotravel780]

One of my favorite authors and minimalists says "What other people think about me is none of my business." The other phrase he mentioned is something like life is not sad because it is short but because we wait so long to live it. Thank you for another video to make me think. I wish you peace and health in mind and body.

[@jessitabonita]

I love that one! Another favorite quote of mine is from Coco Chanel, which is a little snobby of course, but fabulous nonetheless: "I don't care what you think of me, I don't think of you at all." Indifference is a game changer!

[@lovetotravel780]

@@Patricia_Stewart337 Hi Patricia, The author is Timber Hawkeye. One of the quotes comes from his KZbin video titled "Are you behind the wheel?" He mentions it in the last 2 minutes of the video.

[@legiontheatregroup]

That’s a good quote and reminds me of a similar one, although I forget the author. “Some people are surprised when it is time to die, because they have allowed themselves to live so very little.”

[@EternalRocks]

I’m 81 yrs old. I’m skipping 50’s, 60’s and 70’s.

[@joeplem5329]

I'm so glad people especially the younger generation are pushing back against the "you can enjoy your life after you retire at 65" I'm 42 and have been part time for a couple years now and live within my means. Drives my coworkers nuts lol!!!🤷

[@cynthiakhan5483]

Love this!

[@abyss5883]

@@aprilclover2429 social security won't be here much longer

[@1594simonsays]

​@@aprilclover2429lol this country is going to fall very soon..you're short sighted

[@BigHini]

To gamble your life upon a idea that you can buy your freedom when your old and dieing.... has never made sense to me ..... only the tv 📺 zombies 🧟‍♀️ lap it up....

[@Michelle_Emm]

​@@aprilclover2429America's retirement system is absurd. What about people who have never worked? Do they get nothing?

[@finaldestination813]

I am 26 but mentally I'm in my 100s 😀 Tim 💙

[@rocio292]

I've already concluded that for the longest😂😂 Ppl side eye me when I said I'm already enjoying life like I'm "retired" Going for walks in the park, playing pickle ball with the senior folks and so on!

[@sunshineandsmiles9668]

My best friend ever just passed at 83. He was the best because of no bull. I learned much about acceptance from him.

[@MsMaxinejoy]

Sorry for your loss. Keep him alive in your heart.

[@myaccount9498]

My condolences to u. Take your time grieving. Hugs 🫂 from Australia

[@Snaaaaap]

I wasted too much time with college and just mindlessly working and let 15 years go by without even realizing it and didnt accomplish anything i wanted to. Where did the time go? Want to quit my job, but im not financially good for that. Didnt really save too much money. Im emotionally numb too. Feel like im trapped. I hate how i lack a sense of urgency that played into my current situation.

[@victoriasage7]

It might be helpful to talk to someone, like a therapist. It’s been helpful for me

[@toddburgess6792]

Successfully surviving a forced early retirement had a guilt trip on me at first. It passed as quickly as that bad air just did. 🤨 I have found that gardening and appreciation of the little things wipes clear any feelings of guilt.

[@shereemcardell3352]

You don't have to wait until 80 to live as you wish to, as long as you can afford it. I'm 69,live with a cat in a small apartment in a small town in rural Illinois. I've got all kinds of time, living alone, and not caring if I'm messy at times. I can eat when I want and sleep when I want and however long. I'm more at peace and happier than ever in my life even though I left my partner of 25years, and our home with woods and a creek out back. That was my dream home, the home I knew I wanted to live since I was a child.I also had to leave a kitten he rescued that was the cutest, bravest, and funny kitten I ever had. It still hurts to think of him.And, finally, I have only my SS to live on, but it's all well worth it to have the serenity and joy I feel now!

[@DesertMav]

After seeing the effects of growing old from my parents and grandparents, I've decided to enjoy my life as much as I can, while I can. However, I've also started to take better care of myself and my surroundings. I'm still trying to get my finances back into more of a minimalistic setup, but it will take some time to do that. Until then, I will have more affordable fun.

[@b4rs629]

Ya I finally worked up the courage to go to a concert a month ago by myself because friend is always busy these days. I sold off most of my belongings during 2019-now. I was able to take a job working 3 days 12hrs a day and still pay bills and live my life. I walk to the grocery store every other day instead of taking my car for the exercise and saves me on gas + eating healthier helps + I stream music omw so it's a win. I like to listen to stream music & go for walks because they're basically free & cheap activity.

[@mikedonato2977]

Thank you Mr. Ward. Quiting my job was the best thing that ever happened to me. Living for my measly pay wasn't worth it. I also got tired of people bossing me around.

[@mintreality1745]

I just burst out laughing when i got to the bit where you said.... I'm wearing Sketchers! I'm getting ready for work, making a cup of tea, wearing my Sketchers. I'm 47.... It's so true. Love it. You make me laugh Tim. Love the video's 😂😂

[@TimothyWard]

Glad I could give you a good laugh before work! 😂

[@beaulieuc8910]

I am 58 and I have bowel problems. It's great I get to use a private toilet with a special key. It's brilliant having that key

[@Bathsheba820]

Me too! I was wearing sketchers in my late 30’s and my kids use to laugh at me. I’m like they are comfortable

[@denisejohnson2731]

I'm about to be 45 and sketchers are my go to when I know I got some walking to do. They are comfortable 😂

[@jclaytoncabral5106]

I stopped giving AF when I hit 40

[@saramatthews7159]

I am 39 and feeling the same way. I just don't give af anymore and my family is worried because of my nonchalant attitude towards life.

[@kemi1486]

OMG me too! Now I don’t give a damn what others think about me. I’m just practicing gratitude daily and living my life.

[@victoriasage7]

That’s why they call em fuck it forties!!!

[@beyondplutopodcast]

I recently started really thinking about my own mortality, and because of it I need the quality of my life to be up there! So no more worrying and all those heavy things, all the projections I’m putting down. I want to Appreciate my human experience to the maximum. And if reality is perspective, then make sure you are choosing something that works for you. If you have a roof, are safe, have food. Then freedom is a choice, peace is a choice. I’m choosing it internally every single day!

[@Mosessousa1]

Before I even watch, I’m 52 and I totally agree. I actually feel like I try anyway to live like it’s my last day on earth, because you never know what can happen at any second, just how I live and how it be

[@ENIGMAXII2112]

Well sure yes, in full agreement with you. We are contemporaries, you and I. And I have lost count of how many people in our age group are gone. If it can happen to them, it can most certainly happen to us as well...

[@freespirit-111]

Contemplating our own mortality can put things in perspective.

[@markw23]

Love this video..I'm 24 and figuring shit out. I find myself looking around and all of a sudden contemplating how I'm alive..I'm breathing..I'm here..present..at least once a month. Glad I'm not the only one going through that. I love this advice. Take things slower, appreciate it all, the beauty of it.

[@cherylvargas8861]

I'm 44 and have already realized that I don't care what people think of me!! I don't want to rush life, but I'm ready to really enjoy it now the kids are all graduated and living their great life. A Marine and two in college that has great financial tuition without pulling loans.

[@Diego-Designs]

I left a comment this morning on a "Nostalgia Playlist" of music, where I explained that last week I was painting and thinking about the past- but 20 years from now I'm going to be thinking about that time I was painting last week. It seems we rarely live in the present, and it's a shame....

[@sulekha3771]

I’m 24 so here’s me skipping 5 decades

[@cleonagretelgodinho2881]

😂

[@CuteCatsofIstanbul]

Two things I learnt from Mark from Soft White Underbelly is the power of forgiveness and being grateful. It was stuff I've heard my whole life, but somehow seeing how horrific and sad some people's life is, I was like 'look how amazing I have it! Let me say that out loud', so throughout the day, I stop and enjoy the moment saying 'I am living this beautiful moment of quiet/cup of tea/sunset/music/dancing/resting/nothing and I'm grateful for it' and really live it. And forgiveness ... those people who hurt you don't think about you! By not forgiving, you give them the power and you suffer, while they live their life. So forgive and move on.

[@marjorielicup7514]

Forgive So right because this is not for them that hurt us but for us... 👏🙏

[@susanna8612]

We should definietly not wait for 80. We should live fully as long as we are healthy and strong

[@latisewilson4561]

Loved this and the t shirt ! I'm 87 lolol

[@lindahall9686]

I feel you, Tim! At 53 I have the prescription sunglasses, evening glasses, and reading glasses. And who cares? I'm prepared for all the fun stuff I want to do.

[@ronmexico5908]

A lot of people have something to prove. Money, being busy, working gives them a shield from the question, what do you really want to do with your life. Enjoy it thank you

[@Flownthecoup23]

KZbin pushed you to me. You made me laugh, I think I’ll stay 😊

[@jeremytorgersen]

I agree with this! Great advice, another book in addition to the list you have that helped me think this way is "Die With Zero". I spent too much of life always saving and preparing for the future and missing out on the present... Live fully now!! I have made a lot of progress on being present, and it makes a positive difference.

[@ShamikaLMoore]

"I already wear Sketchers!" 😂 BRUH 😂

[@dmsoundcollective6746]

Skechers Rock

[@LoveEmeraldTV]

I dieddd😂😂😂😂 LMAO

[@peterose249]

Every time I watch a video of yours I think: this man is my soul mate. For real 😂

[@RetireandGo]

I loved this message Appreciate life Stop stressing others Enjoy the little things

[@fdoctor79]

Not the sketcher and heat pad?! 😅 I feel you and I am in my 40's, too. 😂 I've learn time and peace are priceless. Live your life and no one's else. Tfs

[@KristopherStidd]

Agreed Tim. 🔥👏🏿❤️😎🙏🏿👍🏿

[@mh0mz]

Yes! Great message. My mom started living at 77. Figured all this stuff out. And has gained peace.

[@peachesandpoets]

I love this so much. I'm 37 biologically but yes I am 83 now. Leave me alone. 😂

[@jphillips9464]

I retired a year ago at 63 it takes time to learn how to slow down and really enjoy life.

[@shybabez101]

Love this message! Recently, I have found myself saying I can’t wait to be old and content. I’m with you Tim, I’m 83 as of today 😂!!

[@blessedbygod3430]

I am working part-time at 61 and my coworkers are low key envious. I keep my lifestyle in check and LOVE my life!!😊

[@scnason1300]

Great video. They can’t tell me I can’t change my age to 83 😂😅 haha. That one made me laugh

[@thisislogout]

Great session, Tim! I like your lifestyle and your humor! "...look at the flat cap, huh?", "I'm changing my age to 83." 😅 I always smile when watching your videos. Peace be with you forever!

[@FernandoLopez-ev7xg]

I agree Tim 👍 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉 I'm 53 bout I'm 83 now, Great topic 🎉

[@rocio292]

3:20 The sketchers shoes got me hard 🤣🤣 I can relate, I now prioritize comfort over fashion these days too, The irony is that'd what we're supposed to do anyway regardless of age but we don't

[@avalonmist254]

Your Brilliant! I wish more folks listened to our Elders! So much Wisdom, Really!🍀

[@ConquerYou]

Tim you are so wise. I love your videos and live streams. Never stop being you! 😁

[@brenop111]

screaming about the heating pad killed me

[@Elmaestrodemusica]

I'm 59 and getting there, due to health reasons, I'm really beginning to appreciate each day I wake up ....

[@djackson5912]

happy 84 years round the sun

[@TimothyWard]

😂😂

[@jgstevens5169]

As my Mom always said. "Sun sets are more beautiful when shared with another". Much to be sayed about doing everything as YOU wish, sharing life with another more than doubles.

[@nannerl6243]

I'm living like it is the 80s as well playing my old cassettes and all that good music.

[@mmc9828]

I worked until I was 69 at a job I hated and was causing me major stress. One day I just woke up and started thinking how and in what ways my life would change if I retired. My husband makes very good money and we have no bills. So the only answer I could come up with is that I wouldn't have the stress in my life. I gave notice the next day. That was last year and I am happier than I've ever been. Another big change is that we are big European travelers and we no longer have to coordinate schedules to go. If my husband's schedule is free we just book and go! Loving life!!

[@TimothyWard]

Sounds awesome! Glad you woke up and quit 😂

[@alphamale2363]

This video was both hilarious and profound. 😄

[@allzen0]

Thanks for reminding me how great it is to be 69 years old and I am now lookin forward to the 83rd year. Woohoo 😂🎉

[@kelb6073]

I try to live like this. You can get down when you have a chronic illness, but it does help you appreciate little things.

[@deanaderrick3474]

OMG YEES on the heating pad already, only 51! I clean for a living, so we do come home a hurtin'.

[@mberrow]

Tim, you really made me laugh with this one. Congratulations on turning 83! 🎉 I’m (only) 67 and haven’t cared what other people think for quite a few years 😊

[@mm669]

Agreed. And I used to thing aging came on gradually, but there is no guarantee of that!

[@abeagleslife]

Learning about the loss of Matthew Perry and that we're similar in age has made me reflect on life a little more. I wonder if he also could not live up to his own or societal expectations and thus neglected himself while self-soothing in all the wrong ways. RIP Matthew. I wish you had learned to let go of the world's expectations of you early in life. I sure hope the rest of us do, whatever stage we find ourselves in. Thanks Tim! As always, right on the money.

[@noreenebostick9593]

This video came up on my KZbin feed minutes ago. It is 11:31 p.m. CST and reading the title I had to watch the video. I love how Tim appreciates the seniors on earth are very precious and unique. Thanks Tim for wanting to even have your driver’s license have you are 80 years of age. That was very funny and amazing you said that. Thanks for posting and being positive about life. Life may have evil and chaos around, but recognizing life has one breathing and heartbeats speaks volumes words alone can not 100% express. Smiles

[@abbiepernell3786]

You are so wise at 40 something. I do feel that way now also. Of course, I’m almost 70, but still😊

[@marietaylor5174]

Powerful message!! I've been doing exactly what I want to do for almost two decades, and I can tell you that it is nothing like owning your own time.

[@ItsBellum]

hahaha I kept seeing this title and thinking it was about living like we are in the 1980s

[@josefadams647]

you're a legend. love your work.

[@TimothyWard]

Thank you! 👍🏾

[@longnlean34]

Another great installment Tim. I get a kick out of your perspective on the great adventure called life. Living is much easier to do without trying to meet someone else's expectations. Live for your own approval, with your individual desires and dreams and you'll find it much more fulfilling!

[@NicksHEAT1995]

I started to appreciate life at 34 when I sobered up and quit fucking drinking.

[@normalafountain7013]

Yep I’m in my 40’s and need the heating pad as well!! 😂😂literally laughed at the truth of that

[@scottytaco]

I've been doing that for years, and I'm 31.

[@mariawatson4171]

I read a great saying to live by Keep the promises you made to yourself!! Love this video you made me laugh today and I needed this video THANK YOU!

[@thenigerianfile]

This video will age well. I’m loving my sixth decade.

[@darkestpriestess]

Just remember that we all think very highly of you! We cling to every word you speak! You have strong speaking skills and a very fascinating mind that you generously share with us, allowing us to learn from your wisdom and unique approach to life! And needless to say, you make so much sense and you're super relatable. Your videos are simply great! ☺️🙏💯👍

[@frankb1]

This topic reminds me of a watershed moment in my life when I went from admiring cars that were fast (like Covette and Porsche) to admiring cars that that were comfortable (like Lexus and Lincoln). Thanks for posting.

[@TimothyWard]

Ha ha, it is funny how life changes our outlook on what’s best for us over time.

[@Brandon-qp7gq]

no no no, we should start living like we're in THE 80's

[@cherylT321]

That’s what I thought the title meant at first!

[@victoriasage7]

You’re so funny 😂 love the heating pad!!

[@xavieraboltiador1958]

That part where you said you "catch yourself living. Not necessarily grand. Maybe just reflecting somewhere". I experience that too, and it starts with being grateful for the small things and experiences. Like, sometimes, it just hits you how good you have it.

[@Dzanarika1]

Less work, more fun. Love it 🥰

[@seeking37]

We must be on the same wave length right now Tim, I’ve been thinking in exactly the same way lately.. we live a world that hides death and doesn’t acknowledge it’s significance because we don’t know what to do with it, it’s a shame because recognising our temporary and fleeting nature is what makes life so beautiful and light

[@tombkk1322]

Hi Tim, great video and much needed! The “grim reaper” needs to have a meeting with all of us 😂.I’m 62 and still trying to accomplish this 83 year old habit. Keep up the great content.

[@AnnaBulaklak369]

I'm 27 and has Schizophrenia, I feel like I'm on my 80's so im going to live like I'm on my 80's. No kids, no husband, no baby drama. I have that mindset somehow cause God gave it to me or something. I felt nothing before he healed me miraculously. I would rather live life and appreciate everyday. Besides I have free SSDI and can live off with my SSDI and a tiny apartment with leased cars and free healthcare. Due to my Schizophrenia. I'm still majoring on nature for my art. I'm gonna live like I'm on my 80's, period.

[@prettysteeve47]

Tim : Life is like a roll of toilet paper , the closer you get to the end , the faster it goes , so enjoy the bumpy ride dude.

[@aleksik4028]

When your young, you care what people think about you. Bit older and maybe not so much what they think. And when your older you realize nobody was really thinking about you that much, they're mostly concerned with themselves.

[@rhondacromer1474]

At 66, I am embracing getting older. Would not have believed that I would be so content at this age.

[@itstheericajean]

I’m signing up for that 80s transformation! ✋ I feel like I want to get to that point too, Tim. Especially after my diabetic diagnosis- and I feel I am too young for it! Now I have to eat off tasting foods, try to work out and stop myself from falling asleep on work breaks🥺

[@Kitty-ig4yh]

Born in 83 and will live like I'm 83 for the rest of my life.

[@Sams-explorations]

I already wear sketchers 😂😂…so relatable

[@africanqueenmo]

Im smiling Tim my dad is 87 mum is 83 and youre right theyre living life on their own terms. Their level of freedom is enviable but Im not fast firwardibg cause mum complains lifes too short. 😂😂

[@365daysofjewelry3]

Agree - live our lives! 😊

[@lasvegasotis6780]

I approve, im almost 50 and plan to have a birthday party on my 50th.