Identifying Psychopathic Mothers- Psychotherapy Crash Course

[@lovereadingsnyc]

WOW YOU'RE AMAZING!!!!! SO smart and eloquent- I'm very impressed!!!!!!! The Most High God Bless You in Jesus's Almighty Name!!!!!!!!

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

Amen. 💖🙏😊 I receive it! Thanks so much!

[@lovereadingsnyc]

p.s. I've been studying all this for years because I married into it. Knowledge is power but I'm still drowning in ways because I have young children and my husband won't wake up. Please pray for my children they are so innocent and all the toxicity is hurting them so much.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

I certainly will. Only God can fix it.

[@DrLauraRPalmer]

FACTS!

[@sarahangela444]

My Mother is a psychopath. I didn't find out until this year and I am 43 next month. My Mother terrifies me and has done horrible things to me throughout my life. I am in trauma informed therapy now and unraveling this is painful. Thank you for making these videos. I appreciate it.

[@cosmicmariner480]

Me too.. I feel so stupid.. I wrote a bit of what I’m going through currently on the comments, I’d love to talk to someone about it if you want

[@tmosest]

Sending kindness to both of you. I know one of my parents was and it’s a painful experience. I also appreciate this video and the others as well. We must show self compassion for falling for the lie… It’s still difficult to trust people…

[@Harrybowles1969]

38 and in same boat. I was locked in bedroom and urinating in toy boxes as small child. Hit beat punished knocked down isolated untill I believed it was my own fault. I ran away from her at 14 with a girlfriend (of bad calibre) and she and her "boyfriend" targeted and had sex with her when she turned 16 as payback to me for leaving her. I could keep going. I buried and refused to believe these things untill last year. It's been really tough I didn't want to be here last year but iv met an amazing woman who is by my side and listening and support ING me. Love to you and best wishes 💕

[@margaretwebb389]

Sarah, stay far and away from her!!!

[@leifc.6045]

This is why fathers are needed. But mainly most men get falsely accused by women. Especially when the law and gov favors them than women.

[@PalunaHogwarts]

My psychopath mother studied psychology, has 2 degrees and worked at police my psychopath grandmother has been lawyer for many years. They have tortured me as a child. My whole family is sick, I have healed a lot finally stepping into completely better life than I have ever experienced. My advice escape as fast as you can no matter if anyone believes you or not. Trust yourself.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

That's so sad. So many people are in the field of psychology like this. This is frightening because they are intelligent in terms of "book knowledge" and yet, very emotionally and psychologically dangerous to people as well. I'm so sorry you have had to experience a parent like this.

[@melliecrann-gaoth4789]

Tamara- they are out there- highly qualified colleagues-

[@autismcorner1]

This described my so-called "mother" perfectly. I'm ashamed to have been born of such a truly evil person.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

I'm sorry Will.😔 I do believe in what goes around comes around. What you sow, you reap.

[@metalbelles3662]

Nothing to feel ashame. Ain't your fault

[@russellm7530]

Yeah I know how you feel. Same here. My mother is pure evil a down most of my other relatives are sociopaths themselves maybe one of two of them are enablers but they're just as bad. God bless you and all the rest of us

[@kshitijsharma26]

High Five.

[@Injamamul-js1wp]

Mine too.

[@Banebelladonna]

My grandmother's second husband just died unexpectedly. They did an autopsy because his family thought it was odd her husband died the same way. She basically admitted to it to my mother yesterday and she is terrified. I'm trying to help my mom wrap her head around the fact who she thought was her mom was a mask. These videos are helping us better understand what might be going on with her and in the family thank u

[@Harrybowles1969]

Trying to move on from trauma of abuse of psychopath mother who has tried to isolate and destroy me since birth. I'm 38 and only just admitted the abuse last year as I didn't believe the mother I always loved didn't love me back. Thanks for the information it helps alot

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

You're welcome! And thank you. I'm so sorry to hear this. Even as a therapist it is always difficult to hear of stories like this. Perhaps there was what we call traumatic bonding at play here too.

[@nitefirewgl]

@@TherapistTamaraHill I am 36 and I just learnt that my mother is a psychopath and she cannot change and can only become worse. If you go through all the comments, most of the victims are above 35 years old when they have finally learnt about that their mothers are pschyopaths and that too with the help of the internet. Imagine if there was no internet?

[@thefrontierfamily3495]

I recently cut off the relationship with my psychopathic mother and enabling father. I dealt with her for years and felt so unsafe but just pushed through, once I had kids of my own there was no way I was going to let her abuse then and that's when I cut them off. Since I separated myself they have been turning family against me and spreading lies using my father, but she has lived such a shrouded life with the help of my father no one would ever believe she could be so evil. Everyone around her is so deceived and manipulated.

[@tundrawomansays5067]

Good for you! The finest Legacy we can leave our children is to ensure the “Family Tradition” stops right here, right now with us, the parents who lived through their abuse. Best wishes!

[@Creative-os3hx]

I understand this and I believe you.

[@TyShyBrickWorld]

This is my story exactly

[@melliecrann-gaoth4789]

Frontier Family 👏👏💪🏿 keeping your children safe, respecting them, protecting your real family being a proper parent.

[@korie4198]

I believe my mother was a psychopath and I was diagnosed with CPTSD (ACAP) at 18 but was in denial until around 28 after finding myself in a relationship with her Jr Mint version. She had no respect for boundaries at all and continued to find way to harass me until the day she died. People who only knew her superficially continue to offer condolences which just makes me angry because I am not sorry she's gone and it feels like she still found a way to use others to abuse me even after her death. It also amazes me how many people fell for her act so easily, even if I did warn them what she was really like. Most people seem content to justify, minimize, and enable women like this in order to keep their own idealized version of women and mothers in tact. The truth is everyone has known at least 1 woman like this in their lifetime (imo) and it's a lot more common than people are willing to admit. For some reason they see a controlling perfectionist mother and equate that with her being caring, meanwhile the child is being abused and neglected and made into the "enemy" for failing to meet those impossible standards and wanting stability and control over themselves. To my mother we were just objects, not people.

[@zackwalker664]

You were never diagnosed with CPTSD. CPTSD isn’t a diagnosis in the DSM. It’s an unrecognized theoretical mental illness.

[@Kelly-td5uf]

My psychologist told me today that my mother's behavior is aligned with psychopathy. This is the first video I have watched about psychopathic mothers and everything - the language, the signs, all of it is spot on.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

Thank you Kelly and I am sorry to hear this. Never easy when this is your mom.

[@melliecrann-gaoth4789]

Good that Kelly has a good psychologist- the wording behaviours that align with… are very careful, affirming and she is not diagnosing someone in their absence. All I can tell you is that there are a lot of coasting therapists

[@annamariaricci2146]

The thing that scares me more is how charming the can be!! They can do horrible things and get away with it because they can be incredible persuasive!! They have a way to make people think that they are the the kindes thing in the world!!! 👀

[@Harry-qw5jv]

Exactly!!!!!!! Yes!

[@leifc.6045]

This is why fathers are needed to stop psychopathic women

[@annamariaricci2146]

@@claudia434 maybe she treats others differently to hurt you and make feel that it is you fault that she doesn't behave nice!! I know this sounds very harsh but this peopke can be very manipulative and twisted!! The in our society victom blaming is rampant!! Don't fall for it! Go no contact if you can!! I know it is your mother but don't allow her to ruin your life!! I hope this messages can help you!! 🤗🌻

[@annamariaricci2146]

@@claudia434 There are therapist who are good but stay away from those that Don t understand narcissistic abuse!! On the internet are very good Videos and therapist that understand this kind of abuse!! Learn educare yourself focus on you not on your mother!! I know it's difficult because we have been brainwashed since childhood!! You Wil find the information you need if you are willing to learn!! Pray also and trust in the Lord but you have also to put effort if you want to get out!! Let the Holy Spirit guide!! You deserve to heal and live a healthy life!! I don't know if you are a believer but I m convinced that our efforts alone cannot take us out of this!! What h on KZbin Pink girl teaches The Royal We and From Narc to Light!! This three are very good!! And never give up!!! 🤗🌻

[@annamariaricci2146]

@@claudia434 I know what you mean!! Not every therapist wants to look the real hurting of patients because the they have to put other questions like what is happening in our world that this things happening!! You seem to me an intelligent and sensitive person and you will find the help you need!! You are aware whar your problems are!! It seems that your body has somatized the abuse and wants to get rid of it!! My advise (I have been through the same)! Start to listen to the podcast I wrote you about they also talk about the effects abuse has on the body!! And don't stop looking for a therapist even if it takes time! Yes and keep on doing things you enjoy and are good for you!! I wish I could do more but you are smart and I'm sure you will find what you need to heal!! 😎👍

[@crystalhayes6133]

My mother was evil, she told me that she hated me and would hate me 'til the day she died, I was 8 years old. she destroyed my relationships with my children, she used to call my bosses and get me fired, she also convinced landlords to evict me.I was a single mother with 2 babies, she would not let anyone help me. She told the man that beat my children and I that he was too good for me and thanked hem for beating us. She tried to pimp me out. I have no relationship with anyone I'm related to. I had to go no contact. there are no qualified therapists any where in Oregon. I have no good memories and have no one to talk to. It took me 61 years to realize that I was not a welcome member of the family. I have always been referred to as "She" and "Her", I don't exist. I don't know what to do.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

Hi Crystal, I'm sorry you had to experience this. These kind of mothers are evil and they truly shouldn't have children. What stuck out to me in your comment is that you stated "I have no relationship with anyone I'm related to." Don't feel bad about that! Sometimes, as you know, that's the only way to get peace and sometimes develop a stronger identity. Healing can happen a lot easier this way sometimes.

[@uyoebyik]

Crystal you are your mother's scapegoat. Your life story is just like mine. I'm gone no contact with the entire family and I'm never going back. It's a shame it took me until I reached my 50s to fully realise it. We can finally be ourselves, and not what our psychopathic mothers said we were

[@kyradolores]

Mine too.... She hates me.

[@melliecrann-gaoth4789]

Must be something good and decent about you so- she can’t bear it- like garlic to vampires. Too much- they are rotten- their soul is rotted. I believe that people are not born evil- what makes a person evil is that they are the one who enjoys doing evil things- it fills them up- the way normal people might feel by doing something kind and decent. What a relief here that Tamara- a therapist of extremely high training and skills names it- that’s integrity. No asking to understand them- no asking to forgive them - no holding forgiveness over us- that we are complicit in our suffering by “not being ready to forgive “. -

[@jimig399]

Your really good. My wife alienated me from my kids. My poor kids are stuck with a psychopathic, narcissistic mother and isolated. I've exhausted myself and my resources trying to save them from her. They are now complicit in the sabotage of their own lives by their ignorance to what she truly is. I've sent each of them a link to this publication with hope that it will hit home with one of them and they will have the awakening they are in dire need of before it's too late. If they don't it's easy to see how they could spend much of their lives believing they are their own problems because she has indoctrinated them for so long to believe exactly that. So unbelievable that a mother could do such a thing to her own children. She has already handicapped them so much it's sickening.

[@tiadiamandis6026]

This video has helped me to not feel so alone with the suffering I’ve faced since I was a child from my mother. There isn’t one type of abuse she has subjected me to and she’s been allowed to do it with her superficial charm and manipulation. She created a false story behind my back to all of my supportive family members so they would not help or believe me. I found out that she regularly sends pictures with marks that she has made with makeup to do this. And when she gets really violent, I cannot even call the police as she’s got them around her finger too. Psychopaths do this by building a great social capital and making themselves look like innocent law-abiding professionals. I am in the process of getting away from her but in a way I am thankful for this experience as it’s given me so much knowledge on how to prevent myself from being manipulated by other psychopaths and narcissists.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

I'm really sorry Tia. This is a major challenge for many daughters who have poor relationships with their mothers. The feelings of loneliness and emptiness can sometimes be too much to handle, leading to depression, anxiety, and possibly even suicide. But it appears that you are able to dissect your situation and see that your situation is like so many others. I'm glad this video drove this point home.

[@elizabethdarley8646]

@@TherapistTamaraHill Thank you, Tamara Hill, for the relief I find here in your clear description. I fit the bill as a child raised by exactly this description and I still feel suicidal when they scapegoat me but, no more. I am going through a process of looking after myself because I now have an extremely suitable coach who is working with me through this. I am under the health services and on medication and under a psychiatrist but I am still alive! I have called the police out over the violence but I never hear anything back. No report from either the police or from my parents. I have just worked out I have been the family scape goat since birth most likely. My m. said she will sue me for lible if I say that I have had a bad childhood and been abused all my life. My m. cou;d charm anyone. All professionals would fall for it. The main thing I would do if I had power or authority is to educate young people in this subject. I suppose I could do this anyway as few people especially psychologists have experienced the situation.

[@russellm7530]

This happens to guys too. My mother is like this to the extreme. She along with all of my relatives have made their sacrificial lamb and completely destroyed my life and future. God bless anyone with family like this.

[@hammyshayaddy8330]

It sounds like my story. Except that I can't get away from her. Everywhere I go, she goes and destroys everything I've built. I've moved all over the world; Africa, Europe, Asia, South America and guess what? Same story. So, I don't even know what to do. I've even attempted suicide before.

[@tiadiamandis6026]

@@hammyshayaddy8330 I understand what it’s like. Please do not let her win by committing suicide. If she’s anything like my mother this is exactly what she wants. Stand proud of getting through this and coming out stronger on the other end.

[@cosmicmariner480]

I’m 36 and just found out that my mom is a psychopath. I feel so stupid, but the only thing she was diagnosed with was boarderline p.d. .. she refuses to see a dr. And claims that she was never evaluated, but sometime during her trial someone saw her to make that diagnosis. She lies about everything and had me convinced I was crazy for a big part of my childhood. I moved away when I was 15 to live alone in Mexico, she was able to adopt 4 children (I’m the only biological), and she got 4 felonies for child abuse because she would lock them in cat cages and countless other horrible things. She is so good at manipulating, the judge only gave her one year, and she even had me supporting her until I saw it was all true. During the trial, i was so stressed and depressed that I started drinking to medicate, this turned into full blown alcoholism, which she used to discredit me and lie to my father to get hundreds of thousands of dollars saying it was for rehabs and what not, (one time for like 8 months I was in a gnarly locked down Mexican enexo that cost 50 bucks a month that they didn’t even charge cause I was music director there). Somehow, i had a miracle and I stopped drinking,now that my brain is clear, she tricked me and stole my dog while I was in surgery for my hernia, used the one vulnerable time to steal my dog and try to set me up to get arrested for trespassing again because he was howling for me in the back. Yes, I’m serious, she has done these evil things my whole life, I’ve realized everytime I thought I saw love, It was a facade, I’ve done so much and protected her my whole life, but enough is enough, she needs to be somewhere where she can stop hurting us all. She still hurts my sisters and brother, I don’t have any family because I defended her during her trial (my grandpa said before he passed that she killed her mother), and my father who I met in my twenties was easily persuaded by her, and too busy lying to his wife to listen to me. I just don’t know what to do. She says she’s never hurt anyone. I’ve met people all over the world, I’ve witnessed multiple murders, I’ve been stabbed, been in many fights, seen plenty of abuse and bad things, but I’ve never known a more evil, truly bad and dangerous person as my mom. Any help would be appreciated..

[@tiablasangoriti8347]

I can really Identify with your Research Tamara. I lived with a psychopathic/Malignant Narcissist Mother for 19 years. It was horrible being an Empathic Male around her hidden psychological terrorism each day. I'm glad I got out away from thatemotionally unstable violent woman. Crazy thing is, the women I attracted like a magnet for 30 years were also some form of Narcissist too. Who would have imagined that? The good news is that I've taken the Pandemic time to heal from their Covert Narcissictic Abuse. It's been over a year since being romantically involved. It feels great to be away from two faced chameleon females. Today I feel better able to set higher standards, limits and dealbreakers now. I was like millions of men who fall hard for sexy wealthy women. Go figure. Oh well, today I choose better and have a 20 point checklist before meeting for tea. None of the question have to do with attractiveness or Class status.

[@ChristienahRobertsonTravis]

I have the exact same problem except I'm a female dating males. I kept attracting people like my abusive parents. Also stopped dating to heal. They say that sons pick their mothers and daughters pick their fathers (in some form) to marry. I also have a checklist, but so far they never make it past the first 2 tests. I simply tell them 'no' for something simple. Anything. "I cant talk right now", "I"m busy. Another time", or "I don't want to"....And they LOSE IT! Instant fail and I'm gone. The other test concerns their ex's. If they can't stop talking about the most recent ex and every single woman they've ever dated was pure evil according to them? Obviously the common denominator with all his ex's is him and why in the hell would I want to hear you go on about your ex's anyway? Yet...it dominates the conversation without any prompting from me. Time to jet. Forever.

[@blueroses226]

It’s been a gradual learning about my toxic family system. Imagine being an ASD female with a mother with these traits with a father who is a malignant narcissist, and my siblings just going along with this toxic system. It’s VERY traumatizing.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

Yes, absolutely. It can take years before you fully grasp the kind of family you have and that coping skills you will need to move forward with them our without them.

[@melliecrann-gaoth4789]

Dear lady with ASD yes- you are not alone- that is extremely difficult- compassion to you- remember you matter and lots of people are A** holes, I know for someone with ASD that you can feel so much extra vulnerable- but please remember your worth.

[@blueroses226]

I left my family a year ago, literally picked up and left with how dangerous it was getting. Although the job market is not great right now, I'm in a WAY better place with a mentally healthy/ier fiance that treats me right.

[@PurpleDragon-e1j]

My mother killed pets when my sisters and I dare have a thought or opinion that was not hers, she even chose our "favourite" colours for us!. Thankyou for these videos, I know now I'm not the crazy one ❤

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

You're welcome. This is a tough road indeed.

[@ladybug947]

Thanks so much for this excellent video. Could you suggest how those of us who had these monster as a mother how to explain it to others in a way they will understand? Majority of people don’t have a narcissistic sociopath or psychopath mother and trying to explain the experience can sound crazy bc they are truly crazy. There’s a feeling of isolation I think most children of these mothers feel bc it’s not something that others have experienced

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

You're welcome ladybug!! Thank you. 😊 I can certainly address this during my live event on Tuesday at 6pm. Come join us.

[@WorldOfARandomVegan]

My cousin experienced this with his mom and it was isolating.

[@zr9145]

When people give me grief about being no contact "bUt sHeS YoUr mOtHeR" I just say "equally, mothers aren't supposed to abuse their own kids..." It shuts people up rapidly because they assume sexual abuse..

[@baileylonnberg8697]

A year later, and your video is still helping people, and I imagine it will for a long time to come. Thanks for sharing information on a public setting that normally only those would get access to during studying/research or therapy. It helps a lot!

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

You're welcome and thanks so much!! Very glad this is helpful.

[@drebugsita]

Sounds like my mom *sad sigh...Thank you for covering this topic!

[@bertaavila5097]

Thank you so much Dr. Támara, your insight validates all my suspicions! It's unfortunate for our family but the truth is liberating.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

Hi Bella! Thank you for watching! Sometimes validation is all we need to make the next step. It's worked for me in the past.

[@ectoplasmicworms6883]

Thank you so much for posting this free online! You probably don't know it but you're out here saving lives! Thank you again!

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

💖 You're welcome. Thank YOU! So sweet and very glad this was helpful.

[@internalguidance777]

Thank you for this x my birth mother has psychopathic tendencies (I only really figured that out a couple of months ago) and has always been emotionally abusive

[@matermatuta1462]

Wow I'm just stunned at how pin point it describes my family. Lost for words. Seriously. You even break it down to the cortex like I do. I wouldn't mind a therapy session with you.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

Thank you! That's kind of you! Glad this was helpful.

[@TerriIncircles]

You described my mother to a T. I have been calling her mother Dearest for years She thinks it’s funny. Anyhow God bless you and thank you for this. Going to share it out.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

Thank you! And God bless you too. :) I'm glad this was helpful.

[@jennodine]

I’m dealing with a psychopathic husband whose mother is very likely a sociopath. We were married for over 20 years during which the mother participated in gaslighting me “Oh Jenny, he just loves you so much”...and as soon as I finally got out of the relationship they both began running a parental alienation scheme against me with my children. Honestly I could write a book about the things I have learned in this situation and I’m at a good place where I accept it’s going to take time and that I will have to say things that make me unpopular but I refuse to go along with the false narrative they are intent to hold up - that I’m an abusive parent and my spouse is a devoted father. I definitely wasn’t perfect and I made plenty of mistakes as a mom that I wish I could go back and fix, like yelling at them too much. But I have never once shown my children cruelty, which is at the heart of parental alienation. When I speak the truth, it’s so ugly that no one wants to hear it. While it’s true many find my message offensive, I’m describing behavior that is observable by anyone who cares to look. If what I say offends, it’s because the behavior needs to stop, not because I need to stop pointing it out to others.

[@tundrawomansays5067]

Screaming at a child is abusive: They are KIDS, not mini adults. Seek anger management assistance for yourself.

[@jennodine]

@@tundrawomansays5067 I fully admit that it was abusive of me and I talk to them both about how much I regret that. Maybe you’re not familiar with the term reactive abuse. And my children actually are young adults now, and they were when I wrote that.

[@jimig399]

@@jennodine I get what you were saying. I get that you were being honest and doing your best to atone for past mistakes. Probably more than anyone I can relate to what you experienced with your co parent and his family attempting to alienate your children from you with a false narrative. And I can really relate to provoking the wrong response in people that you expected help or even compassion from. I couldn't get any sympathy, compassion or help as my kids were being alienated from me. I kept calling it out and the response I got was not the response I expected. Much like the response your comment here provoked. Such a cold, uncaring response that you could feel the disgust and complete lack of comprehension in their stupid tone. I'm sorry. I know what you went thru. I hope it has improved.

[@BeautyQueenFL]

Thank you for this. I’ve been confused on my mothers diagnosis. For example, she had me set up to be raped, laughed after it happened, convinced me to retract my statement to the police knowing I would go to jail for perjury so while I was sitting in jail for 30 days reliving the violent trauma that took my virginity, my mother made me call her everyday on the jail phone at the same time to beg and bark like a dog. If I didn’t do it I wasn’t allowed to go to college. College was my only escape to get out of the locked closet I grew up in without school for many years. My dad snuck me an SAT book and took me to testing in order to help me get away from her because he was trapped too.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

Has your mom served any time for this or ever received psychiatric help? Based on what you are saying she has done far beyond abuse you. She should have served a lot of time for her behaviors. I'm very sorry for this trauma in your life. I do hope that you are able to pick up the pieces and seek your own help for peace of mind.

[@nitefirewgl]

oh my god! I am a male and my mother allowed his brother to sexually abuse me while I was a child and she showed no remorse!

[@melliecrann-gaoth4789]

Compassion to you. These women are evil. I have kids now. I know what it is like to be a mother in difficult circumstances and after all my study and therapy I now settle for evil.

[@zr9145]

Mine used to say "sorry I'm not perfect like you" I'd say "yeah I'm sorry about that as well. Bummer for you..." she hated that..

[@truthteller1973]

Have to pray for these crazies whole different kind 🙏🙏🙏thank you 💜

[@EmmaleeS96]

My mother isn’t a perfectionist with everything but she is when it comes to me, I was in bands, solo gigs etc. she crushed it alll she crushed everything I worked for I became so beyond depressed and she thought it was hilarious. This is just one of the many things she has gone. Recently she told me how she would manipulate me and my siblings as kids and all these fucked up things she would do and then pretend she didn’t. Etc things that would make us cry and traumatize is. She told me she told my dead beat dad to kill me she never had that bond with me like she did with my other siblings. The older she is getting the more she pushes us all away.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

Thank you for sharing this with us. I'm sorry you've had to experience this. It sounds like there are a lot of self-esteem issues with your mom including a need for control. The best way to get away from this psychological and emotional manipulation is to put space between you and strive for a healthier future without this person in it (or at least see them occasionally).

[@realtruth3762]

Not every psychopathic mother is perfect but rather they have this extr urge to CONTROL others espec their daughters etc. And they try to remain this perfect image even when it's a whole different horrible reality below that image. They're all about maintaining that facade

[@tundrawomansays5067]

Unlike wine they don’t age well. I terminated the relationship completely with my abusive, nasty, conscienceless biomother when I was about 30. Since she’s “pushing you away” I would be delighted to fulfill her demand. AND STAY GONE.

[@Creative-os3hx]

That need to control is why they try to cause you to lose your jobs and support people, so that they can Lord over you.

[@melliecrann-gaoth4789]

Very true- and then the stigma of how could you be like that with an old lady- they are like vinegar though- preserved- stinky- and really could last a very long time- they outlive many.

[@TheViolettowne]

My mother was a psychopath who loved to physically hurt people and seduce men. She beat me for hours and broke my bones as a child. She had me dress up for her lovers at 12 and then went into the bedroom and had sex with them while my father was at work.The next day she would beat me for being a whore.She was head psych nurse at various mental hospitals and laughed about how the patients comitted suicide and inferred that she might have something to do with their deaths. She was alcoholic and in an accident where. she was responsible for two people being killed and never went to jail. That is just the tip of the iceburg. She was a powerful member of society and told me she would kill me if I ever told anyone what I knew.I left at 15 and lived in the woods till I was 18 and legal. She died in 2007 after disinheriting me.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

I'm so sorry Valerie. That's terrible. She sounds like she needed a lot of help. And she was engaging in the "organization" of child abuse by not protecting you and allowing men to violate you. Was she ever charged? That's a crime and she should have been placed in jail for sexual abuse and the maltreatment of a child. It's basically corruption of a minor. And the fact that she worked in a mental health hospital speaks to some of the points I have made in past videos on the instability of certain professionals within the field. It's a sad reality but there are some mental health providers who should have never graduated school. They get through for many reasons and once they do, watch out. They love to feel they are helping and some love the authority they have over others. But they are sick. They need help. And they don't need to be in a position of caring for people who are vulnerable. I'm sorry you had to experience this woman.

[@dark7angel456]

I know I've seen and encountered many of these types of people, it seems that the more Psychopathic a narcissistic they are the more popular an attention they get and that's the disturbing part I'm glad I have you to turn to when I feel like this

[@nataliebrook5930]

My mother is a sociopath overt narcissist and it’s a constant battle because she tries to degrade me and now that I have been educating myself and have my self esteem back I will not let her cross my boundaries. I confront her about the cunning sneaky put downs and then she says I am malicious and mean.she actually mimics my emotions. She admitted in front of my fiancée and I that I have to accept her demons. I feel it is time to go no contact.

[@adeliawilliams4884]

I don't think childhood trauma is always a factor when it comes to psychopaths, especially due to the brain dysfunction

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

Absolutely. It's not. But in most cases it is. There are many factors involved when a parent is a psychopath. Every case, every child, and every family is different.

[@baddiezone]

Sometimes it’s genetic

[@tundrawomansays5067]

Agreed. These brain studies? There are no previous brain scans of the individual so these proposed “differences” may simply be incidentalomas. There’s nothing to compare to the scan the individual had prior to that day. Further, the brain scans on some researchers indicate they “should be” psychopaths etc. and obviously, they aren’t. Career criminals (successfully prosecuted or not) know to always cite their alleged horrid backgrounds and since this field doesn’t regularly engage in procuring any confirming evidence and routinely takes the word of cohort that is not known for their veracity your observation is well considered.

[@katieandnick4113]

I have/had five psychopaths in my family. My mother was one of them. She started poisoning my father in 2011, very shortly after I made it clear to her that I preferred him. I was 26 at the time, and had no idea what my mother was. My father was dead the next year, at 62, supposedly of ALS. All of the psychopaths in my family have either killed at least one person, or made them very sick, that I know of. I cannot tell anyone but my husband. If I went to a therapist, I do not think they’d believe me.

[@katieandnick4113]

I actually have more than five. There is at least one more in my more extended family.

[@jimig399]

I'm so sorry. Sorry for the loss of your father, that you have such an evil mother and mostly sorry that no one has offered you anything in the 8 months that your comment has been sitting there. No compassion. No sympathy. No positive vibes. My mom killed my Dad and my brother. Indirectly but they both died as a result of her actions. She had me put in prison for trying to expose her. When I got out she was there to greet me as if we were long lost buddies. 2.5 years in a state penitentiary at 19 when I should have been in the Air Force. Its actually not something I regret. It was a learning experience and very much helped to shape the man I am now. In a way I was lucky and got some of the hardest lessons out of the way very early in my life and because they were hard lessons they stayed with me and I have not needed to learn them again. I've embraced it and turned it into a positive experience. You need to try and do the same. Take something positive away from your experience or it will haunt you and eventually affect your life in ways you don't want it to. I can see the pain in your Aura if that is indeed your real self. You need to change that. Live for something positive. Rid yourself of those toxic people. Make your life what you want it to be. If you don't you'll likely end up becoming your mom from the bitterness you harbor for her. Sounds harsh and impossible but it's real wisdom I wish someone had given me. Use it and pay it forward when the opportunity presents itself. Good luck.

[@judementz-gibbons6730]

Having survived my mother who tried to murder through drowning in a bath - saved by my father who intervened and then proceeded to strangle her to death, she most definitely had psychopathic traits and was not mentally ill. She did not have most of the personality traits you mentioned apart from gross self centred and verbally aggressive. She just did not care. And was a bad mother. Mainly psychopath lacks conscience and empathy, as you stated but particularly they are devoid of a moral compass ( they make up their own rules that suit) and they tend to dehumanise and objectify others. They cannot give love. They make these choices in full knowledge. They are not crazy or wired differently. Sure, they think differently and their personality is disorder. It’s in reality it is a soul sickness, that goes beyond the study of matter, being science. They never took personal responsibility or accountability for their actions, but justify them and they are self serving. Some people are just bad by choice as there are good people who choose another path.

[@jr5389]

Walk a way..............NO contact what so ever........the sooner you do this, the more of your life you SAVE....🤔

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

Very true! Agree.

[@hannahoriginal4698]

Yes this is so true. My mother is just like that. Finally I found an answer. I asked many psychologists what is wrong with her but they couldn't tell me. I am so happy I broke contact with her. It was tough but now I feel like I finally can live my own life and be calm, safe and free.

[@rosebud_blooming]

This was crazy good very eye opening. I have multiple female psychopaths in my family. Mind blown to smithereens. Thanks for this great video connecting the dots

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

Thank you Camille Rose!! So glad this was helpful.

[@truth4utoda]

How do you keep up?! I love the variety and yet, structure on this channel. 🥰 My mother in law is a psychopath and she nearly killed my husband. She's ill.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

Thank you 💖 Thanks for watching! Mother's who are aggressive and potentially dangerous are the worst. They are trying devoid of perspective taking.

[@janmariablackwell8138]

I've believed for a while that my mother is a psychopath but listening to this makes me doubt that. She's always been sly and manipulative within the family. She lies with such confidence but as she gets older, she no longer lies with the same ease as she's constantly caught out. She did kill our pets when we were young which is the very thing that makes me believe she's a psychopath. She also had munchousen by proxy. She used to tell everyone I was oxygen starved at birth and the doctor had wanted me to die but she saved me. Everyone around her thought she was a wonderful mother but behind closed doors she would tell me I was stupid, mental... an idiot and how she wished I'd died at birth. She was also very jealous of our youthfulness and would try and put us down and say things like, "I'm sorry about your looks, you take after your father" and "you should of seen me when I was your age, I turned every head in town". Apart from the pets, I don't really see much here that fits her.

[@GenXWitch67]

My mother and her entire family are narcissists and psychopaths. All most everything you said here is wrong for my family. Someone needs to study these 5 sisters, 3 brothers, their mother and the resulting damage to their multiple children. How do I find someone to do a study on is as a large family?

[@cyn.1912]

Same here, with my "mother's " family!!!! All children are damaged or are narcissists. That's why I stay away from them!!

[@tundrawomansays5067]

What would that study mean to you? Your experiences are enough to inform your thinking. Please remember, the result of psychiatric studies are at best a best guess. That’s why unlike the physical sciences there are Laws, not just hypotheses.

[@lorrainepaquette981]

Thank You so much for your insight and easy for me to understand all that you share of your knowledge.. It is a great gift that you are giving of understanding for those seeking it. I have been traumatized by not one but BOTH parents that have all but one (1 questionable house fire) And both have the check marks ... I was the scape goat.. everything on me.. because I would not stand for the lies.... all my childhood I was known as a liar as she would proffes it to everyone ... Because I would tell the truth ... and sadly some sibblings accept it some are completely void of any truth and those are the golden child.. But as it stands.... I am in a no contact... and finaly after 40 years of needing to get away.... My soul is in understanding that every time I allow myself to step in in hopes that thing may have changed... within a short period of time..my mothers toxic ways spreads vicious fire about to destroy any bond that is or has formed .. cut those bond with her lies... So now I say , and think to myself, They choose to belive those lies even after Ive heard them say out loud to me and to others,That I am not what was said and made of me for all those years that we were appart... but yet again for the 4th or 5th time it has come to this again... Now I let go,in pain in my heart... yet I find understanding in the deepest of ways.. If they choose to beleive someone over their own truth.. Just because they choose to beleive it doesnt make it the truth. Thank you for sharing..... have a wonderful !!!

[@gjdfjktr]

thank you so much!! you have been very helpful!! and saved me a lot of my time for searching about the topic because it's was so confusing for me 😢

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

You're very welcome!

[@juneelle370]

I now just think of it as part of the the human condition 😢 It’s obviously some natural defense mechanism because it occurs all over the place. The only way to change this is to make a world where people have good childhoods. All of this is in my family... I was the black sheep... it’s so sad that so many people experience this living hell... all we can do is try to wake up to this all the way and heal ... it helps me to understand this isn’t personal at all... never was ... just damaged people lashing out and living in their own hell... the dysfunction in their head. 💖 to all who’ve experienced this. Great video 🌟

[@Harry-qw5jv]

Thanks a lot for your video. Its really helping me understand. Can you tell me, are psychopath mothers always criminals or do some do only moral crimes like trying to destroy you emotionally or by suicide? I think mom is a psychopath. She's narcissistic but not like any type of narcissist I read about, not at all interested in what people think of her, she just does what she wants, and isn't bothered at all about societal norms, she likes to rebel against or control society instead, secretly, not interested in being 'seen' as a rebel unlike a narcissist but only in the rebelling part. She's extremely abusive and controlling. CONTROLLING! She controls everything, not in an ocd way, but in a domineering aggressive way, and she controls through terror and intimidation and gaslighting. She looks down on absolutely everyone, but also has some idealised fictional people in her head, has zero empathy, zero remorse, is a pathological liar, has tens of personas, is completely glib and shallow at times, but at other times she acts so well being an empath she almost seems to be the nicest person alive, she's charming, interesting, she captivates people but acts quite introverted, mild, quiet often. She can also be extremely aggressive and macho, or act completely passive and naive like a little girl. She can be a completely wild and drunk and drug taking antisocial belching rebel one day who wants to show the world she's boss, then the next day dress like an elderly conservative lady and act completely 'square' , pillor of society, status quo, taking cakes to a bake sale and doing charity if its not hard work. This isn't 2 sides of one person, there are literally tens of different masks she wears depending on the setting. She's like 20 different people. A chameleon. She's not like someone with an identity crisis, she's more like someone who chooses all her different personas and masks depending on what will be most successful. She tried to get me put in a mental hospital and convinced me I was mentally and physically ill when I wasn't. She's also tried to get me to commit suicide. She used to use some kind of mind control on is kids, it's hard to explain, and she harmed us in every way possible physically and verbally. She gaslights as a default and is not afraid to get aggressive at the drop of a hat. She's absolutely remorseless. She is also absolutely evil. But can play empath, naive, innocent. Pity plays. She's also really really calm in really stressful situations, she used to be called on to do diplomacy at one charity she was manipulating, because she could be so calm when people were raging and getting upset. She used to work on a suicide prevention hotline for the same reason, but that really scares me now. Once the breaks failed on her truck with us kids in the back, on a hill, but she just calmly kept driving right across a main road without stopping at the lights, then pulled in ages later where she could find a space to park, she didn't even break a sweat or say a word. To my knowledge she has never committed actual crimes.

[@ericwitt9429]

Thank you for the video. very nicely delivered, strait to the point pack with info. nice job! hopefully you still read comments a year later. anyway i have a question. is there anyway to prove someone is a psychopath for a protection order? someone who has lived entire life under the radar and is very toxic and manipulative. Is so good at it she appears to most to be a good person. My mother is not a nice person to say the least and I don't want her near me or my son ever again. she is just too toxic, sadly its not her fault but none the less i cant let my son go through anything close to what i did. I just recently figured this out about her and made the mistake of telling her I know. She's convinced family and even my ex that I'm crazy. my ex even lets her take my son alone. You may not have the answer for this and i get it if so. I just don't know how i would convince a judge when my entire family doesn't even believe me.

[@GratitudeGriot]

i love this channel! You provide so much insight. this was really helpful for me to identify traits in my mother. At the 12:30 mark you briefly touch on men that are diagnosed as psychopaths. Do you plan on creating a video about the identifiable traits in men that are psychopaths?

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

Thank you so much! And thank you for watching. I will certainly be talking about male psychopaths and we're going to delve in a little bit to Ted Bundy and a few other psychopaths of our modern time. It's devastating to have a mother who's a psychopath, but it's probably just as devastating to have a father who is a psychopath and creates problems for a family. We'll get there!

[@kimberlydavis5034]

What advice do you give for parents who have psychopath or sociopath children? What advice do you give for people who are dealing with loved ones or friends who are psychopath or sociopath?

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

Good question! This video might give you some insights on that: 1. kzbin.info/www/bejne/p4qyeGxjltd0pc0 2. kzbin.info/www/bejne/qIurdaGddtKph8U I will be coming back to this topic in the next few weeks as well

[@altshift_]

My mom is a mistress. She ruined another man's family. My mom wants to sell all my deceased dad that had been working hard to put up to. And im not sure if she wants to share anything with me anymore. Im just adopted with no family. My biological mom who is her sister has schizophrenia who keeps asking money from me. I live in a country where family value is important and it really sucks. Sometimes i think like i wanna kill myself and see if what will they feel if they don't have a daughter to go to to when they get old. In my country, we dont have geriatric homes. I hope something will happen that can change my mom back to when she was sweet and cares about me. Now she keeps on bullying me about being adopted. Hurts.

[@brianashlock9884]

Tamara, please contact me. I’ve been going through hell for years with this one. I’m concerned about my daughters life.

[@theadventuresofkiwi5472]

Love the content, you explain it very well and are not afraid to be colorful in your explanation. Alot of other mental heath pros seem to try to be balanced and refrain from using too many adjectives, in their videos, and yet try to be descriptive and try to do all this under 15 mins. I like that you dont try to do this......I've actually been looking for content on sociopathic fathers and their effect on their children, I think you could really do a really good video on that.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

Thank you Al Troy!! I'm glad to hear this. I actually just recently did a video on psychopathic fathers. Here it is: kzbin.info/www/bejne/f4TUn36IbtOLrck More on this topic: kzbin.info/www/bejne/oZfXf2WCg8qEq7M kzbin.info/www/bejne/q2nLmYyuoNKfsNU

[@naaz2829]

my mother is a psychopath and has had multiple affairs w men. tried to kill her own mother. plots to kill my siblings and my father for his properties. stole all the property papers, stole important stuff from us. and still has court orders ro stay in the house with us and wont divorce my dad. Her new facade is that she is a devout religious person and pretends ro pray rhe whole day, but i see her passing her time on the phone instead. nuts. she is ill and needs help. not only we all fear for our lives, but what has life come to?

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

oh man. I'm sorry to hear this. She sounds like she needs a lot of support and extra support in learning who she really is. Most women like this, including men, wear whatever mask they can find for the day. Very saddening.

[@naaz2829]

@@TherapistTamaraHill yes, its an extremely absurd, difficult situation. The fact that shes so charming, and the residents of my country are very religious people, does not help. People end up believing her version of the story and sympathize with her, mostly because shes a woman, and paints a picture to others that my dad is a monster. we have to show people hard physical evidence like video recordings or pictures to prove our innocence. Now shes in the house, living with us in the lockdown. We have to hide all the knives and anything she could use as a weapon. Every night i sleep with an open eye in fear that she will murder us all. And the cops or the courts are of no help.

[@edenhoneyy]

Thankyou for this! It’s helping me resolve my own childhood. If I notice I have some of these inherited tendencies, how could I bring this up with my therapist? I’m definitely a perfectionist from my own trauma and I’d like to work on letting it go

[@mahlina1220]

The need for perfection is true. My mom flips out when I much the plants. As a kid, she used to criticize me for not eating corn on the cob in a perfect line. Constant criticism, and big time Mommy Dearest behind closed doors. I think my mom is both psychopath and sociopath, I can’t tell bc she’s violent but not smart.

[@tundrawomansays5067]

Eh, call her what she is: Malevolent. And call yourself “Gone.” She is *not going to get better.* And please remember, there’s a *huge difference between intelligence and cunning.* IQ has nothing to do with this situation. Bet she doesn’t abuse you in public....interesting how they absolutely *can* control themselves in public or in view of others.

[@hiddenexit1027]

I just wish my mom could understand your words & my words but I feel as though that is impossible.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

😔 I'm sorry. Some people will never understand.

[@hiddenexit1027]

@@TherapistTamaraHill I very much appreciate your effort, understanding & your reply. You helped a great deal today. Thank you Támara. May your work & studies be fruitful for years to come.

[@xrc7445]

Don't be fooled, they know what they're doing.

[@autumnanne54]

The manifestation of needing things to be perfect so they have the feeling of control doesn’t necessarily come out in the way people may expect like having things neat and organized it may be totally ass backwards ways of doing things that make no logical sense but it’s their pattern in their control so they need it done that way and there’s no talking logic to them it’s just a matter of control and a matter of perfection even though again it may not be society is a manifestation of perfection

[@Harry-qw5jv]

Thank you for that clarification, it really helped me understand. Mom is absolutely not interested AT ALL what society thinks of her so social perfectionism is just not her, unless it serves her, but then it's only brief and a complete fraud. She's completely lazy too so the house was a mess unless people were coming round which they usually didn't because she was too paranoid and wanted control of that too. But her perfectionism is like, control. Just total control of everything, including what words you use, when, etc, the rules change and she's totally illogical they make no sense but you gotta follow them or else... Thanks again

[@ElizaFragmented]

Was wondering if I was alone on this.

[@DeeDee-zo7rv]

Interesting. I’m learning about the differences between psychopaths & sociopaths. Are all narcs sociopaths?

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

Hi Dee , I would have to say no because each label comes with different attitudes, mindsets, and behaviors. But some symptoms do overlap and can cause great confusion.

[@carriewedding2985]

so interesting and you explain it so well. i love your videos and learn so much....wow...lots of good info. thank you!

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

Thank you Carrie! Really glad these are helpful.

[@cheyennereardon9736]

what is the difference between BPD and Anti-social disorder in women?

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

Very good question! I might do a video on this eventually but there is some research that correlates the two disorders. Research suggests that the same brain pathways that creates the emotional reactivity of BPD is also found in female sociopaths. It's interesting. Research is seeing some similarities more so than not. The difference between these two disorders is causation (sometimes) and what is called "treatment adherence." In other words, sociopaths are hard to treat with counseling; BPD is a bit easier to treat.

[@melliecrann-gaoth4789]

I’m revisiting this. And I’m afraid most therapists don’t give the information needed

[@michellemeiburg639]

I told my mother that I was being abused and she told me to “lay there and take it”

[@JoifulFamily]

My mother had sometimes violent out burst to me and i have flash baxks of her shaling me until my nose bleed i forgive her but some days i cant be around her and if I slightly bring up some of my past to her she will say what are yoi talking about She doesnt remmeber blood running down my blue and white dress and my nose bleeding.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

Joiful, I'm really sorry to hear this. This is terrible. It certainly sounds like she has some unresolved anger and emotional issues that needed worked out. Sadly you had to be the target of her untreated needs.

[@xrc7445]

If she conveniently doesn't remember anything that shows she's bad, then she remembers, but she lies.

[@user-ey4rc5tu4t]

I think the Lizzie Bordon series with Christina Richie is a very good example of narcissistic women (although a little too extreme). And, I think my mother, and therefore I am in that familial line (not certain, but her mother's line was Anthony-- and that line has some very prominent people.)

[@Hellnawnawnever]

Thank you so much. This is my mother.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

You're welcome. I'm sorry to hear this. This is very tough when it is someone close.

[@amarieg5]

Is there any way to get the English auto generated captions on this video like the rest of your our videos are really need to watch this one-I’m clinically deaf

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

I can certainly check into that for you! Let me contact youtube support and see what they say.

[@joelewertow6095]

This channel ridiculously over the top w the labeling & the rest..always view these utubers w a healthy dose of cynicism

[@Meleesha1116]

GREAT information!!!

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

Thanks so much for watching!! Long time no see!

[@rebekatalebi8046]

You did such an excellent job explaining this conundrum.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

Thank you😊 Hope this was helpful.

[@rebekatalebi8046]

Támara Hill, MS NCC CCTP LPC it’s very helpful because I tried to find information about this but most of the videos were about NPD.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

That's great!! And that's so true.😔

[@hawkcybergear]

Much of this makes sense in my household, I never believed some of this stuff

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

It's hard to believe and most people struggle to believe a parent could be this way. Sadly, it's reality.

[@soumyajoseph7429]

Can you do a video on how male and female psychopaths interact with individuals whom they perceive to have more or less power/social status than themselves?

[@TheSahand68]

Thanks!

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

Thank you Maria! And you're welcome.

[@jills6565]

Narcissistic father and a soiopathic mother and sister. I am the empath, the over emotional one. Everything hit me in my 50s once my father pasted away. How do I heal when I cant get truth from my family? Ive been gaslighted for so long I dont know what is what

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

Jill, your healing has to come from within and not externally. If your validation and healing depends on their response, repentance, or compassion toward you, things will never change. I suggest working with a therapist, if you aren't already, who can help you find healing within so that you no longer have to depend on them for something you may never get from them.

[@olafwitt7246]

Thank you. Will you make a video about covert narcissistic man?/woman?

[@claudiepomares3513]

thanks for this video and offer recommendations. One of my sons married a younger woman online. They got married in one week, he met her, likes what she presented herself as, she was willing to take over taking care his four children. So far so good. She had a contrite and low profile. She had some statements about her family explaining to su that they are horrible; She let her parents note in the night, put a note in their mailbox "I am leaving and getting parried, you will never see me again. During her first visit she did more that want attention, she was pushing so hard her personal experience to look basically like a herO? First conversation she told us that she broke her arm at 2, it is a cute anecdote, but she told it at every is it and it did not create a massive empathy on our part. I was run over by a concrete truck, 11 broken bone,s. My daughter had about 20 massive surgeries to remodel her hips and repairing her wrist. So, broken bones is sort of a contrast that we win. Then she started telling us that she was allergic to about everything all the food we would Name she was allergic. And allergic to dog, to rubber gloves, to smoke and probably more. This make family dinner as we had to be cautious. Something kind of weird when telling us her miseries, she would have a smile as to say, it is ok, I am just a hero! Five years passed. We noticed that every time they were at Keisha every odd week, the children would not be allowed to come to our house to play with their cousins. Finally, one evening, they told their mom who sent run ultimatum to the father: he signs immediately to give full custody to her or she would call social services. I still did not know anything; I encouraged them to take a lawyer and fight since they were saying that the kids wanted to be full-time at their mom because of money, the promise of a car and other lies which we demolished after talking to the children. As I was speaking with my son about the situation he said that he was going to sign up because some of what the children say is in fat true and if social services came, they would take the two babies they now have and Keisha would be kicked out of Canada, she does not have her citizenship yet. I spoke to the children and these are example oaf what she die= choked on the boy twice to the point of passing out. She fed the step children with food from the food bank and they were forbidden to touch the food she was buy-in for her husband, herself and two kids. One of the boy was once removed bed privilege and had to spend the night on the floor. Another time she told him that he must not sleep and prevent the one year old from waking his mother. She told a kid is was so dirty that for one year he had to wear a surgeon mask, day and night, tight so much that it would bleed. She swears horribly and insulted the kids with humiliating qualifiants. Once, she sold the older child's iPad, sold it and kept the money When she visits and a kid touches anything she shout so loud at her, then continue conversation as if nothing just happened. She was violent with them until they started to grow up and be her size. The last one got the most of the blunt. She spoke to everyone how hard ti was to "raise" 6 kids... She has such an obsession of cleanisess , if a cousin came, and the was rare, he had to showing after getting there and have clean clothes/ They moved recently but did not give us their address to be sure we spoil not come. For five years, me, the nana, have got through their door twice. She used the small kids to cause monumental drama, she was the sickest pregnant, she lost tuns of wait, which was not visible, her life is so hard, and on and on. Chance gave me the opportunity to become friend with her estranged mom. I learnt for example that the girl has no allergy besides car hair. She does not work, but when it was the work of the big kids, they would clean the house and babysit. I need help because now, she know has 3, she just got a beby, she does not hug and cute him, when she taps his bag for burping, it is so violent it is frightening. Her last accomplishment is to be selling the gifts we offered Her children. My other coauthor called to ask why, the reply was: we do not have space. My daughter offered that we keep the toys so the kids could play with them here, the kids simply adored their toys. Do you believe she is psychopaths. I listened to your definition and I am terrified about what will now happen to the 3 small ones? what could I do to help them. thanks

[@a-z1904]

Tamara you are the best in the entire universe. 👍

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

🥰💖 So kind of you! Thank you.

[@peterharris6604]

Thanks

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

You're welcome

[@IndianaJoe0321]

A lot of sociopaths ARE violent due to their rough upbringing and juvenile criminal history.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

That is true. But some sociopaths or psychopaths do not come from violent backgrounds. Some come from really good families and upper class neighborhoods. Have you ever heard of "white collar crimes?" This is what that means! So we certainly can't forget this side of things.

[@overcomer4196]

my opinion is that all narcs are psychopaths. there is only one difference. some will actually do physical harm. the rest fantasize about it. all do other kinds of harm because they get off on it. a true narc has a lizard brain. I've watched lizards, the only thing they care about is sex and food. women psychos do care and seek riches sometimes not just men. my nmum is rich (because my codependant dad died and she got it all [because he didn't love his kids enough to make a will] she didn't earn any of it - he worked for it) and is on a worse crazy power trip (in her lizard brain) because of it. she always was on a power/I'm better/know more mental power trip but after the big money came in OMG! money will make a narc worse. way worse!! if they don't have money they at least pretend to be nice MORE often to get their way. when they are rich they are unbearable. and expect a lot of freebies especially if they are ELDERLY in spite of the fact they can afford it or to hire the thing done. it's truly crazy! but it's for the attention and pretense [they love to act and they love the DRAMA] to those that don't know they have money. they will hide it from some just to see what they will do for them. actually get mad when people aren't willing to help "a neighbor' for free. it's kind of funny when she comes up against another just like her who think they deserve to be paid for this or that when in fact it was something that really didn't take much time or effort but they overcharge. she deserves to be overcharged for everything. some don't but she does. she's abused me since I can remember and my first memory I wasn't walking yet and I was afraid she was going to physically hurt me. what a sad thing to remember. they instill FEAR quite early in life to set the RULE: BE AFRAID OF ME I CAN AND WILL HURT YOU! She did help my dad die early after he found out he had diabetes she kept him supplied with all kinds of his favorite sweets. and in the end when he was on his deathbed (so it was legal murder) pulled his oxygen plug because she was tired of listening to the machine! she tried to kill him many times over the years with rotten food etc. but it never did the trick he lived 30 years more than she wanted him to. last year she said "I feel like murdering a couple of people" and I knew what she meant. she would too if she could get away with it. they are DANGEROUS. do not TRUST that they won't. some are so arrogant they don't think they will get caught or will hire someone to do it for them because actually they are basically LAZY, they actually don't want to DO anything like WORK, COOK, CLEAN. they do things that suit their fancy whatever that may be and for some it is physical things but not often. most narcs are addicts to drugs and food. and are couch potatoes and phone gossips. mine is constantly on the phone taking bad about and telling lies about her own family mostly. so those she's claiming victim to feel sorry for her and have the wrong idea about the real innocent victims. that's the dark heart of a psychopathic mother. should have went NC immediately after he died but I didn't know what I was dealing with. I DO NOW!

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

Thank you for sharing this. You bring up an interesting point which is that there is a strong connection between BPD and sociopathic traits as well as narcissism. There are traits that certainly do not overlap but some do. This makes it hard to determine what personality disorder you are working with, especially if you dont have a trained clinical eye.

[@ladybug947]

Over Comer I can relate unfortunately

[@gurutruecrimeguru1405]

@@TherapistTamaraHill I think my mother had paranoid personality disorder but she was good at keeping her job she was successful but did so many fucked up things to family and occasionally friends. I don't know that she was a psychopath but she did some things like one at times.

[@gurutruecrimeguru1405]

@UCQrlRBp1orLBLiGzykbBzAg But you do realise the standard will for a husband leaves everything to his wife first unless she dies before him. The law will go on the assumption that the money will be passed down to the kids after the wife dies. My husband loved his kids very much but our wills just left everything to each other. The kids get the money when both parents die that is the standard. My father in laws was the same leaving everything to his wife unless she died before him which she did so then it went to his kids only one my husband had died before him so the grandkids got his share and he'd written that will way before he had grandkids but lawyers put in these clauses.

[@sixevensage7004]

Thank you for the video. My husband and I both feel this about each others mothers. Now, they are working together and there is no way to tell which is which. It is causing a major disaster in our relationship. I know my Mom and her flaws (she tries to be perfect but is a realist and falls short) but she aspires to be like his Mom. My mother in law is defiantly a sociopath... I am not sure if she is a psychopath but, given the last year, I think she could be. It is getting worse everyday! My Mom is learning from his Mother in a pursuit to be perfect and I am very worried about our future!

[@tundrawomansays5067]

Envision a future without either one of these harridans in your life: Feel better already? Yep. Time for both of you to walk away from the hot mess completely. Please don’t ever subject a child to what you and your spouse have lived. If you’re struggling as an adult please remember: This crap impacts a child in magnitudes beyond the impact it has on an adult.

[@katherinegruber499]

I think my mom is a psychopath. She put my dog in a garbage can and threw it down the stairs when I was a kid because it ripped the garbage in the kitchen. I’m 32 now and it’s still really horrible to think about 😢 She is also very controlling and manipulative and always plays the victim. Recently my mom told me my sister doesn’t care about me or my kids and is jealous of me and my kids. She was physically abusive to my sister which was traumatic for me because I witnessed it. My dad saw it and didn’t help my sister. I recently cut my parents off. They were affecting my marriage and causing a lot of drama. They would undermine my parental authority. My mom was very controlling to this day and critical.

[@sunniesublime1]

Can you help deal with having your reputation ruined by said mother? It’s so hard defending yourself against the lies they spread.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

It's so hard to live with this and I'm sorry you have had to deal with this. I often encourage my clients to just be themselves and keep living their life. The truth will either come out, the person will be found out, or the way you live will prove you are nothing like your mother said you were. That's really the only thing you can do and "clean up the damage" wherever you realistically can.

[@bvf2787]

What happens when they don’t have their kids around anymore?

[@MD-di4uv]

i think my mom is a psychopath she does not have empathy and flies into rage easily, shes also very concerned about appearance

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

It's likely this is the problem. She could also have other symptoms and behaviors that belong to other disorders. Women like this are sometimes beyond difficult to deal with.

[@MD-di4uv]

@@TherapistTamaraHill absolutely, amd thanks for the response

[@No-zy7gp]

Thank you for this video. I am a 16 yr old girl who aspires to be a social psychologist and I am dealing with a psychopathic mother who does all of the things you stated in this video. It is very hard to deal with and she even has my sister thinking I’m just crazy and wild while everyone else is supposed to be sane. She recently got married to a fellow psychopath male who hates me as well and lies on me and my family members who care about me. I have been contemplating various ways to get out of this situation but I don’t know how she also has me locked in the house because she recently found out I’m still using weed and won’t let me see my other family members.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

Hi Lauren, You're welcome! Thanks for watching. Having a mother as the one you describe is difficult. It's even more difficult when these kinds of parents find friends or spouses with similar traits. You can then begin to feel trapped. However, I see that you have a goal in mind for your future and that's a really good start! If you hold on to that goal and keep focused on escaping your unhealthy parent you can go really far.

[@No-zy7gp]

Támara Hill, MS NCC CCTP LPC thank you I totally agree! At this point I’m just trying to stay positive!

[@DocAwesum]

I have a great case on this. Very much fits these traits, excused as 'Culture'

[@theadventuresofkiwi5472]

Love the videos and I really like that youre so liberal with the information; sometimes I feel likj therapists are a little reticent to be too informative less they get lees clients or give away the substance of therapy......I was kinda hoping you'd talk about the "psychopathic stare". There are some videos on KZbin of people making commentary about a distinct predatory look that psychopathic men and women give in which, the commentators usually mention that, the psychopathic subject they are talking about , usually moves their pupils less or something to this effect. I just wanted to hear your thoughts on that.

[@EmpressofChrist]

Great video

[@Scoop2380]

I don’t know if she’s one cause I don’t know what she needs and feels as I lack empathy

[@wanderingfree149]

How do malignant narcassist and psychopaths differ?

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

Great question! This question could be answered in an entire book really. But there is some research that suggests they overlap in many ways. I might make a video out of this topic!!

[@Harry-qw5jv]

@@TherapistTamaraHill please do make a video on that!

[@netjet7778]

What do you call a mother that tries to convince everybody she meets that her daughter is sick for over 40 years?

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

That's tough to say without more details. But we hope that eventually the truth would come out.

[@yazzi5087]

My mom beat herself up and then called the police on her boyfriend and blamed him. She gaslights us and tells us that never happened 😅

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

oh my. That's what we woukd call sadistic. That's tough on the children. I'm sorry.

[@yazzi5087]

@@TherapistTamaraHill it’s crazy that my mom has never been to prison, she gets away with a lot. So glad I wasn’t raised by her. This happened when I was a teen, I couldn’t believe my eyes (I’m 34 now) no one believes me when I say I don’t love my parents. They can’t believe it’s possible not to. I’m in trauma therapy with a psychologist and I feel validated. If your mom is a psycho definitely do what you can to go no contact

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

I don't blame you! Thankfully you weren't raised by her and do not have that parental attachment that often can turn into a trauma bond or some kind of codependency. Your mom needs help. Maybe one day she will. You never know.

[@NICKIWANNABELEVZ]

THANK YOU!!!!!!!

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

You're welcome!!

[@NiquesBmoreStylez]

I'm new to your channel

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

Welcome to the channel!! Thank you. And I welcome you to my live chat on Wednesday.

[@crystalevans9795]

I remember that movie. My sister was dumb af and went told her counselor that my mom used a hanger on her. No marks mind you. I remember the thrashing my sister took on the way home.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

🤦‍♀️Oh boy. That's sad.

[@pleasesayhi4009]

Thank you!

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

You're welcome!

[@BarbzSA]

My mother hasn't killed anyone. To my knowledge. But many men yes - for their money. I never felt that she has a weak sense of self. She never seemed to care what others thought of her. Unless it got in her way.

[@heatherhartman6474]

When i told my mom that my friends mom died, she LAUGHED!!

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

Hi Heather, That's just DIABOLICAL and sick. Sad reality.

[@EmmaleeS96]

Mine did the same thing, same situation.

[@gurutruecrimeguru1405]

When I told my mother I'd just found out my best friend had gone down to 70 pounds from anorexia and nearly died and I started crying she told me harshly to stop being a drama queen. She did a lot of fucked up things but I don't know if she was a psychopath or not. I'm not sure.

[@realtruth3762]

My so called "mother" (she doesn't even remember exactly when I was born so I still hope deep down I was adopted & may one day meet my real mother🙏) didn't cry a single tear when my grandmother (her own mother) and her best friend died and partied the same!! night with friends. She also abused my pets (kicked the little puppies in their stomach etc) that eventually died and abused me in more ways than I can count. And parental alienation was also one of her expertise besides all kind of other horrific things. My sister was in the coma for a long time bc of her and she gave me to complete strangers since I was a baby. She completely messed up my credit and insurance and so much more. Was hitting on my ex boyfriend & trying to play him against me (when I was 20years old, he told me everything) And a million more things. It's so pathetic and horrific that I'm ashamed to even share the things she did, only my childhood friend know bc they witnessed and saw what she did with their own eyes. She knows now that I finally realized how evil she is (I want absolutely nothing to do w her since decades and moved far away after high school). All she ever cared about was money and her fake image (an empty facade) and her excessive need for control. There's nothing good I can remember about her, she was a horrible person all the way through. I feel robbed of what every child, teenager, human being should receive in their life - motherly love.

[@realtruth3762]

Emmalee Kennedy you wonder what is going on in their sick heads to have such an adverse evil reaction to a tragic event. It's like what are they thinking to react like that??

[@joycorcoran5123]

My psychopaths sociopath wannabe mother was sloppy cooked horrible was never home so NO. ( There was no level of perfection)

[@shaungreen4756]

The behaviour you have described for the female Psychopath, matches my mothers behavior, is there also alcohol abuse ?🤔

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

Yes, absolutely -- in some families. That often makes things so much worse.

[@shaungreen4756]

@@TherapistTamaraHill ...my mother was a drinker, but not infront of the family, do they drink to block their feelings out ? not that they have any,🤔

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

Yes, absolutely! Drinking is sometimes their only comfort.