If Mattress Commercials Were Honest | Honest Ads

[@KrisRyanStallard]

Honestly, I only shop at Horton's because while evil, they're consistently evil. I don't like surprises when I'm spending my imaginary money.

[@JeffreyAllanBackowski]

You mean spending your mom's imaginary money?

[@KrisRyanStallard]

@@JeffreyAllanBackowski I wish! Unfortunately being a meth cook isn't as lucrative as one would expect. Though I was pissed off to learn that the man she cooked for had $75k in cash just thrown under his driver side car seat when he was finally arrested, like you or I might do to get rid of some pennies. This was after his cheap ass only gave me $20 as a graduation gift. This was in 2001. In 2022 dollars that's $125,469.79 just right there under his fat ass soaking up farts.

[@erikburzinski8248]

And they are honestly evil

[@kourtneyr.scruggs0988]

You know, that’s ironically why I miss Trump so much. The man stayed snitching on himself, and did so consistently, faithfully, that it took all the guess work out of it. You could trust that if any fucked up shit happened on Capital Hill, within an hour the man was all over Twitter telling on himself and everyone involved.

[@realbeautyness25]

ME EITHER I WORKED IMAGINARILY HARD FOR MY IMAGINARY MONEY 💰💸 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@jharris3267]

Jordan is killing it. Can I confess my husband fell for that wine stays steady on mattress trick.😂

[@cracked]

Ha that's amazing (and also thank you, I really appreciate that!)

[@tswindell9496]

Should have bought from Horton

[@gordonmills2748]

Awhile back, I produced some ads for an up and coming mattress retailer. They even had a jingle. You might be not at all surprised to learn that the "we'll beat any competitors prices" thing is utter bullshit. The manufacturer that sends a Dreamwave 10.2 Pillowtop mattress to one retailer will send a Dreamwave 10.3 Pillowtop to their "competitor." Same bed. Same everything. "Oh I'm sorry, but we can't match the price because that's a different model. Now give us your two thousand dollars."

[@texaswunderkind]

That is common in retail. Walmart, Best Buy, Home Depot, etc. do that with appliances, electronics, etc. all the time.

[@MsLilly200]

For the algorithm! Roger deserves to be watched by all of youtube.

[@magicdance4273]

A lot of those mattress joints just _have_ to be money laundering operations. No way any area goes through enough beds a year to justify 5 being in the same half-mile radius

[@billmozart7288]

Adam Ruins Everything did an episode on exactly that

[@dps8629]

I think its likely that they just build wherever meets their price range for storage. They tend to take a lot of space for displays and product, so they get compacted wherever meets their economic advantage resulting in many of the same stores being placed in the same area.

[@TFASplbtttt]

All you have to do is sell like ten a month to meet rent and utilities.

[@justinminer1354]

I thought this, then I went to buy one and realized they have one dude and all the mattresses were 1200+. If they average 1 or 2 a day, they're doing okay. Since they advertise so much, many people are probably just coming by the store to pickup what they've already chosen.

[@carlito_148]

Mattress Firm is owned by a South African. They pretty much proved that they were a shell company albeit a large 1 just to laundry US dollars. Not kidding

[@Queina1]

I bought a generic memory foam mattress from Walmart's website 3 years ago and it feels exactly the same as the expensive name brand memory foam mattress in the furniture store. And I paid less than 400 dollars for it as opposed to over a grand.

[@kalstonii]

Memory foam is inexpensive because it was designed by nasa and cant be an exclusive right. Hell, theres memory foam in those $12 shoes at walmart.

[@Gebohq]

I'm waiting for the meta moment where they have "If Roger Was Really Honest" -- I have no idea what closets full of skeletons would appear but maybe it'd make for a series finale?

[@cracked]

I'm actually writing a series finale right now, just in case (it's not that subject, though).

[@xredgambit]

That was going to be Penn and Teller's bullshit tv show finale if they got to make one.

[@liamnehren1054]

@@xredgambit yup basically 22 minutes of them telling us how they chose the sanest people on their side of the argument versus the craziest on the other side but funny enough they were still right in every subject.

[@y_fam_goeglyd]

@@cracked I hope there's going to be a series 2! I've been waiting impatiently for this!

[@cracked]

@@y_fam_goeglyd What would you want from a second series?

[@LucidDreamer54321]

I watch the whole thing. After the video ended, KZbin played an ad for mattresses!

[@michael2636]

This is why i only buy organic, free-range, local mattresses instead of the generic, money laundering, GMO laden mattresses at box stores

[@LetralXIV]

Maybe the Japanese are onto something with sleeping on the floor.

[@eyeCubish]

I absolutely love my Japanese futon (floor bed).

[@segatore1295]

I do it it's the best my back has felt in years

[@jimmytwotime6875]

Japanese beds are $450 and FAR more comfy. Only con is you have to work to keep it clean and air it out regularly.

[@tshava]

This is quality content. You should also make "If RV dealers were honest"

[@mmoarchives2542]

are you a rich retired old man that convinces himself he wants to travel a lot, then come on over and over spend for a RV by 300% the price you should be paying

[@animelife6476]

I agree Roger is life

[@xredgambit]

One of the biggest dealers in the midwest is called raper, as in what brock turner is.

[@ChaoticHoly]

Only if they include a comment or two about the sleazy creeps who litter RV camp sites who ogle your granddaughter like a side of beef.

[@tedwojtasik8781]

@@mmoarchives2542 Oh yeah, if you really want an RV, buy used from a private party. Easy to pick up a $200,000 RV for $75,000. I had a hippy friend in IT who became fed up with the nonsense "American Dream" BS, sold everything, and bought one of the sweetest 4x4 travel vans used for $25,000 with 11,000mi. He loved the shit outta that baby! OG cost for this van was $110,000 btw.

[@mikdan8813]

What makes me sleep better is not the mattress, it's the knowledge that Roger is making these again.

[@BlackCover95]

I shudder to think of what a guy named “Breeding” wants with a mattress.

[@cracked]

Baby making playmat

[@tommiefunk2099]

Snatch Magic is now my garage band's name.

[@cracked]

As long as I can keep Magic Snatch.

[@ToyKeeper]

I got a Purple. The purple stuff itself was pretty comfortable, but the foam under it was almost as hard as the floor, so I was always sore and tired by morning. Took it back and returned to a cheap inflatable mattress with a cheap foam topper... much better, and like a tenth the price. Kept the purple sample square though, because it makes a good fidget toy.

[@texaswunderkind]

We bought Avocado mattresses for the kids. The kids like them fine, but I find them incredibly hard and uncomfortable.

[@Steve_in_NJ]

I love my Purple hybrid BUT wouldn't buy it again.

[@austinmcconnell]

Roger’s got the drip

[@horushyperion76]

Cant wait for the Austin McConnell ^ Cracked collab

[@willverschneider1102]

Imagine being a hotel owner who goes to a mattress store every 5 years. "Yeah, I'll take 300 of those."

[@mikeaskme3530]

@Will, I am a night manager at a Hotel and I can tell you honestly at my hotel which I have been working 20 years, we have only changed mattresses twice and only because we remodeled.

[@Joshgilly94]

“All the quirky ads on your favorite podcasts”🤣 So damn accurate

[@rainyriveroutfitters]

I love Roger! This guy is a legend.

[@colonelmustard2652]

Why would I part with my mite-riddled, sweat-soaked mattress full of toxic off-gassing foam? The discoloration and immutable stink adds value. Plus, it's been conveniently reshaped over time to now perfectly match the unnatural curvature of my corkscrew spine. What sort of maniac would part with a beloved household item like that?

[@southcoastinventors6583]

To be fair though we are already mite and bacteria riddled.

[@willdeimode2916]

Air mattress or water mattresses seam more sanitary.

[@JOHN----DOE]

My 20-year-old mattress is just fine. Comfy, and only stinks occasionally when I rotate it. The existing mites and I are old buddies. And probably the foam gasses have long since dissipated, so why buy a grossly-overpriced item with new gasses? I can produce my own gasses just fine.

[@markh.6687]

You should work for Horton Industries.

[@darielcomodanielperoconr4340]

It's also funny how every once in a while they advertise new mattress as "ergonomic" and suggest that past models got it wrong, even tough they barely change anything.

[@Samuitsuki]

I loved that "mental degradation" whisper.

[@luckybones7808]

Nothing like waking up to a delightfully reality crushing dose of Rodger. I could listen to him dash my general misconceptions about common things all day.

[@dgwooten7]

I love a good Rogering to start the weekend

[@erikpetto3672]

It's Friday, I have a cold beer to drink, and Roger Horton appears with an important message. Can life get better?

[@markh.6687]

Well, let me add in a fantasy woman of your choosing; see if that helps. 😁

[@tholgrimstonebeard5943]

Splendid video, chaps! I am surprised you didn't mention the bed-in-a-box fad that dominates online shopping. Or the fact that the same mattress will have a different name at another store so that you can't shop comparatively without inside information.

[@Thermalions]

Indeed, there seemed quite a bit of unmined potential left on the floor. Bed in a box, mostly air, slight variations between retailers making advertised price matching impossible, just sold our last inexpensive model.

[@d.e.b.b5788]

The box is more comfortable, than their mattress.

[@sd-ch2cq]

​@@Thermalionshow do you think stores get their mattresses? Pushing out the air is always going to be the cheapest shipping method.

[@KatT89]

'Puffy pricey rectangles' is my new band name

[@nathanbemo1063]

Roger for President!!

[@markfairbanks3533]

my local dump charges $75 to dump a mattress, they aren't by weight like other trash. A new feral cat destroyed mine. Anyway. I cut off the fabric, and brought it to a textile recycling center, cut off the thin foam and recycled that. Now I was left with a big metal spring, and took that to metal recycling where they paid me $5. All 3 places are on the same road with-in yards of each other. I was surprised at how little comprises a mattress. New mattress has multiple water proof protection layers, forget how expensive they are, I don't like to move them.

[@cadillacdeville5828]

These commercials are hilarious 😁😆😆

[@midimusicforever]

These are the reason why I am subbed!

[@ntwynn]

“Go to bed, and monopoly is a game!” May be my favorite line ever.

[@michelhv]

This would go well with a MyPillow. Honest businesses think alike.

[@graciegj63]

Did anyone ever open up one of those pillows and do a comparison to other ones? Material can't be any different and big pillows aren't good for your neck and circulation.

[@NealB123]

Roger is getting a bid jaded in his senior years. 😅

[@keithmichels7563]

I worked at mattress company years ago and I can tell you that the price match is impossible to use. Here's why. When ordering a mattress from the manufacturer, we used Serta, Simmons and Spring Air, you first pick the inside you want. That would be which coils or foam it gets. That's the important part of the mattress. They don't have that many options. Then you pick the ticking pattern, that's the fabric coving it. Then you pick from a selection of names to put on it. You could literally have the same mattress at two different stores and they would have a different name on them. So stores can't price match because "it's a different mattress". The important thing to know is the coil count and the coil type. There is such a thing as to many coils also. Everything else is just fluff.

[@tomlee5116]

What’s a good coil count or rather what’s too many coil count. I did that research before buying my mattress over 10 years ago but I didn’t know about too many coils. I think back then I went with a mattress with 750 or 850 coil count. It’s been a while.

[@keithmichels7563]

@@tomlee5116 I didn't order the mattress, the owner did. What I know is what he talked to us about the ordering process and what to do about are price match guarantee. If memory serves me correctly I do believe are most expensive mattresses came in at around 800, but that was about 20 years ago. He said if you get to many coils the wire starts to get to thin. I quit just as we started to stock no flips. So by know I have no idea.

[@garyowen9044]

Just about everything he said is true. It does have to be made from new material, however. You can’t comparison shop because just about every model number mattress is a “store exclusive” brand. It’s easier to shop for a casket.

[@_Stray]

Love how with all of these you get an ad just before the video selling whatever the videos criticising. Got a mattress ad before this

[@nicodemusedwards6931]

Moral of the story? Only sleep on the floor or on animal pelts from the beast you hunted.

[@timsmith854]

So many clever names used instead of mattress. Maybe this is just an Aussie one, but we say 'workbench'. Roger, you are an internet treasure mate.

[@BrianBeeby]

I had a full-size folding Futon mattress for years. With the right pillows, it was great. It was a fraction of the price for a "real" twin-size bed. Plus, you could fold it and keep it out of the way. I couldn't take it when I moved recently. My current twin is old and sagging, and due for replacement... by another Futon!

[@loismcmasters4680]

I couldn't resist subscribing to your channel, thanks for the laughs.

[@gasmanoav]

I heard a company’s mattress ads on the radio. One of the ads said they sell 600 mattresses a day. That’s a lot. Then another of their ads said they have 400 locations. Someone is going hungry.

[@nickperoncomedy]

Roger almost went ASMR there and suddenly I want an Honest ASMR video.

[@truthiscensored]

So true...there is a furniture store bout a mile from my "4 walls with another wall on top" that had the same "Going out of Business Sale, Everything must go, 75% off" window sign for 12 years!!!

[@Name-ot3xw]

Big fan of the guy who blew up his recycled foam pillow business to support some politician that immediately threw him under the bus. Great time, looking forward to the next episode here in a couple years.

[@ronnyshama]

Does anyone else think matress stores launder money. How often do you buy a matress, once every decade? Every 2?

[@LuvLee296]

Yeah but nearly everyone has one and loads of people have spare beds too so that’s a tenth or so of say a city buying a mattress each year. If a city has a million people that’s 100 thousand mattresses a year even if there’s 100 mattress stores that’s a thousand a year or like 3 a day per store and a city that size probably has way less than 100 mattress stores. Considering how much they charge it seems pretty sustainable

[@JOHN----DOE]

I launder MY money UNDER my mattress. In an old sock.

[@Sly88Frye]

Okay this was absolutely amazing especially considering my wife and I have been using the same mattress for at least a year now. We don't plan on replacing the mattress anytime soon but actually we do need to get a bed frame. Yes the mattress is on the floor which works but you know that's not ideal

[@thomasconant9051]

I love this guy, one episode says renting is a scam, then the next one tells you owning a home is a scam. I guess homelessness is the best option

[@vartosu11]

Essentially, no matter what you do, you'll end up getting ripped off one way or another. Oh and being homeless or poor is bad too, in fact it's worse because as he said before, it costs considerably more to be poor, they do everything in their power to ensure that.

[@LikaLaruku]

Drunk Jersey Cloud Man needs to make another appearance.

[@soapboxgamer9877]

Best irony ever: the static ad under this video is for a nearby mattress store.

[@davidbrown4540]

"Snatch Magic" 🤣

[@Chewbacca0678]

This is a nice re-do of Adams Ruins Mattresses from 3 years ago. Well done.

[@lukesta12]

"Monopoly is a game" in my new favorite Horton phrase

[@silvadelshaladin]

Nice Horton 11pm shadow on the mattress.

[@TheFikeAttack]

I literally got a mattress ad before and after the video lol, it's like trying to tell me to not listen to this video

[@RuralTowner]

The background music is way too soothing to be added to the infomercial...

[@jacktherripper]

Totally reminds me of the Infomercials Adult Swim played at 2-3 am from 2014-2019. Specifically that one with the dude trying to get you go this "Indian Casino" where everyone dies in the in. Frank Pierres Indian Hotel and Casino!

[@MemphisCorollaS]

Oh the irony that a direct to consumer mattress company advert with “bioPure” plant-based technology came on for me right after this video. 😂

[@KrazySpydrLady]

Just love how there was a mattress ad after the video

[@leventhumps3861]

I was in my 20s when I first found out how expensive mattresses were...I ended up only being able to afford the mattress itself, and had to lay it on the floor. It really makes you realize how much we take for granted. I had several beds over the course of my childhood, and I'm sure they all cost a small fortune. Hell, I even broke one being a dumb ass, and just expected a new one, which no got.

[@user-10021]

Over here they’re anywhere from 20-80 bucks for cold foam mattresses, I still don’t understand why people even bother buying the other expensive ones

[@dontrend5956]

@@user-10021 Over where?

[@user-10021]

@@dontrend5956 germany

[@sd-ch2cq]

​@@user-10021that's exaggerating, but for as little as €100-€150 you can buy a pretty decent mattress from Aldi or Lidl

[@reinei1]

First of all: Oh my god you weren't lying on the Modern Rogue about bringing back the channel! Second: out of all the "honest" ads you guys did I would actually buy these mattresses, because despite not really giving the promise Roger DID lay on the bed! And in pretty much all previous adverts he showed visible disgust at his own products technically being disgusting (and only marketed "clean, fresh and good") So for me that's a HUGE vote of confidence right there!

[@cracked]

Ha well that's totally fair!

[@LikaLaruku]

Smartest thing Cracked ever did: Roger Horton show. 2nd smartest thing: Bringing him back.

[@shaodynasty1017]

The man, the myth, the legend is back!

[@excellenceinanimation960]

The fact there is a mattress add on this video is great!

[@88Shinto]

When Mad Magazine turned into Mad TV and then disappeared I was kind of sad, but I have my cracked magazines and wow you guys are still going.

[@Grasshopper.80]

What’s great about Roger and his Cracked series, is getting Ads for the product or industry he’s roasting.

[@ConstitutionallyProtectedMedia]

baby making play mats lmaooooooo

[@lissazap86]

This applies when selling all furniture. However, yes mattresses especially.

[@josephineczykoski666]

The ironic thing is, KZbin played a mattress commercial right before the video.

[@evergreenmusic9853]

How ironic that the ad that came on before this vid started was a mattress ad😂

[@slapnut892]

As someone who bought a new off-brand obscura "luxury" mattress that turned out to be a poorly assembled piece of crap this skit hits home hard.

[@truno7]

The chemicals part 🤣🤣🤣 so true they’re poisoning everyone

[@rojetsmith2759]

"Go to bed, monopoly is a game anyway."

[@quipsilvervr]

I wonder how Horton feels knowing that the entire planet wants him as a grandparent or uncle.

[@TheTimeForChange44]

Nah, I'm good! If you gotta use all that to convince me to consider buying your product, I'm saying, "Something's up." Great thought-provoking video though, as always!🤔🤣

[@Ausaini17]

The fact that this video was proceeded by a Casper ad is fucking priceless

[@heatherwade2373]

Roger is my favorite dude. Ever.

[@JoshuaAdamsMDPHD19]

Love how I had two mattress ads right before this video

[@markh.6687]

And to think I'm typing this on 4 and 1/2 hours of sleep because my mattress isn't high tech enough. Maybe after I move to my new place I'll try one. After all, if it's Horton's, it has to be good!

[@Mars0984]

This is so true. I went to mattress firm and told them I’ll buy their mattress $1000 below sticker and still profit $1000. The sales guy laughed. I left and told them you could have made $1000, and now you get $0

[@SaulKopfenjager]

This is so trippy, I feel high, not just drunk watching this... brilliant! Props for the butt shaking at the end too!

[@david-kc5hr]

Snatch magic is a term id definitely never expected to hear.

[@USSResolute]

I believe that the Dreamweaver can get me through the night.

[@oliviolanza1933]

Please make something like: If Sports Supplements were honest

[@stuka5494]

Not even kidding this was followed by a mattress ad that mirrored this video so hard it was hilarious

[@JimAllen-Persona]

I think my “pitiful rat brain” has been getting too much of a workout recently from filtering through “supply chain shortage” BS

[@NinjaKuma]

I was just browsing for a new bed... How did he...

[@nunyobiznes]

This is the best series on youtube

[@andytaylor3443]

I sh*t you not , I got a mattress advert before this video started

[@hotrodeldorado811]

I'm not even kidding how ironic is it when I click this video mattress Warehouse commercial came up right beforehand? 😂

[@doctorbeanis]

Glad you're still doing well Roger! Love these!!!! So freaking funny:)

[@JohnDoe-nz3wq]

After many different beds, I prefer plain wood and two blankets. Rodger didn't get me this time.

[@janeentumbao8690]

Shake it! Don't break it! 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂

[@mightyone3737]

I use a futon on a plywood base with a homemade frame that keeps it rigid. It's very comfy, but it is a bit warm in the summer, and chilly when you get in in the winter if you don't use a hot water bottle (so just use one I guess?). I even built a new frame when I rented a room when I went to university, so my futon could fold up and be used as a couch/cushy platform to sit on. Honestly, it could even be taken apart repeatedly, I used 'better than Ikea' tech, better known as 'actual nuts and carriage bolts' to hold the frame together, and it had some very heavy duty hinges, and a hinged leg that offered a back if you wanted to lean while on the fairly huge cushion. I may have been an untreated schizophrenic, but I was also very clever sometimes.

[@Wirehead18]

I sell mattresses for a living. I... can neither confirm or deny that some of these things may have hit a twinge close to home.

[@RFGfotografie]

This is pure genius

[@laurengomersall9692]

Love this channel waking people up

[@y_fam_goeglyd]

Jordan Lindell? 🤣🤣🤣 This could well be the best of the series (so far!)

[@Trid3nt861]

" *Puffy Pricey Rectangles* "

[@Norm604]

I've been Roger by the way....and you've been Rogered!!