If the abusive parent was a therapist.

[@patrickteahanofficial]

Just a reminder that I'm not doing a role play of a type of therapist. I'm doing a role play about if the toxic parent was a therapist.

[@zoomspilo6798]

Idk, judging by the comments it seems like thats exactly what youre doing lol (unintentionally)

[@sleepyninjarin7971]

It's horrifying that it's unintentionally depicting certain real therapists

[@exileera7640]

I think you should redo the heading on this video. "When the therapist is like the parent you're trying to heal from" doesn't match your comment. It would be more clear if it read "When the parent you're trying to heal from is a therapist".

[@cindymartin6307]

My parent was the therapist. That's an extra layer to heal from.

[@tizzlekizzle]

The people have spoken. Sounds like the current state of therapy is a taco bell diarrhea dumpster fire. I also agree. I've had one positive experience out of many bad ones. I recently had a therapist prepare and eat dinner during our session. Another who brought her toddler to our session. I complained and she gaslit me saying I was the only client who had an issue with it. Most sessions the client is paying to sort out the therapist's issues.

[@FishareFriendsNotFood972]

Sad thing is there are plenty of therapists actually like this

[@hopealivealways]

🎯

[@hopealivealways]

I believe you and honestly hope you healed from therapy retraumatization. This is a terrible experience to have. To get worse from places that should be safe and facilitate our healing.

[@pixiepianoplayer114]

​@@TR-nh7xfsadly I CaN explain why someone would put themselves in an occupation and act like this...SUPPLY. Narcissistic people becoming therapists are like vampires working at the Red Cross/blood bank. A buffet of victims. Until I found therapists like Patrick online, my only experience was horrific and soul searing. Gaslighting, victim blaming, indifference..they were so terrible. Truthfully, right now Patrick is one of the ONLY professional therapists Id give any credit to. He's lived it, hes been there, and he doesnt take shite from anyone. I can RESPECT and trust him.. And I do not trust anyone much at all. Champion himself!

[@42222]

Yea my dad is one. He has 4 failed relationships under his Belt. 3 of them involving childen. To none of them he was a good enough parent. Lack of Empathy.

[@hopealivealways]

@@42222 ❤️

[@galaxymel18]

"Why didn't you fill in the paperwork before the session?? It's VERY DISRESPECTFUL to me to not do what I told you to do before the session." "Oh, I didn't send it to you? Yes I agree that was an unprofessional response, best of luck in the future."

[@hopealivealways]

"Did you pay up before the session?".......adding one to that list!

[@Harsha-D311]

You're actually wasting my time

[@hopealivealways]

@@Harsha-D311 No way!!! OMG!!!! ❤️

[@Harsha-D311]

@@hopealivealways atleast you have a therapist We didn't even have therapist at our times

[@hopealivealways]

@@Harsha-D311 Damn! 🙄 If you're going to be salty about your practise just close shop and stay at home. I am so sorry you had to hear all this. Where I am the practise is not so heavily regulated. I asked the professional bodies about how to report and hit several walls. I just let it go and have stopped trying with therapy. I do my own work. Thanks to people like Patrick!

[@Teresa-zu3zk]

“You need to grow up!” “That’s because you’re too immature.” “Oh, this learned helplessness!”

[@iloveFreedom.]

😘

[@hopealivealways]

"You really have nothing of significance to 'complain' about in your life and you're just glorifying your situations"

[@Emlane09]

“Oh, so you’re the mean one.” (After saying that l couldn’t really forgive or see myself forgiving)

[@hopealivealways]

@@Emlane09 👀 really sorry about this. Your truth is your truth and you need no judgement for it. Forgiveness can take time and that doesn't make you a mean person. I hope you're in a much better place after this experience.

[@LittleLulubee]

⁠@@Emlane09 You don’t have to EVER forgive. That is your prerogative, and perfectly VALID.

[@spiderqueen601]

I was told to call between sessions if I was in crisis, and then I was criticized for calling.

[@hopealivealways]

Me too!!!!!!!!!!

[@jdprettynails]

I once called a crisis hotline and was told “have you considered it’s your fault you’re in this situation?” Luckily I thought that comment was such an absurd thing to say to a suicidal person I ended up laughing and hung up out of spite.

[@hopealivealways]

@@jdprettynails 😱

[@elokin300]

@@jdprettynails I’ve heard so many stories like that that I’m convinced its one of their strategies 😭

[@juliz2500]

​@@jdprettynailswow

[@spiderqueen601]

every single therapist I had for 15 years. I was being abused by a boyfriend, and instead of the therapist helping me leave she kept telling me I needed to take responsibility for my part in it. And she told me to stop looking like a victim and crying in her office because I was just reinforcing bad feelings.

[@novalyn.shelby]

@@spiderqueen601 oh my... I hope you left them both in your dust! ❤️💯

[@RainbowSunshineRain]

I got the same! She kept saying abuse is my fault because I grew up in a loveless family and don’t know how to love …

[@justjosie8963]

Horrible! So many of them are abusers themselves.

[@NameOfRain]

@@justjosie8963 As someone who has a degree in social work, can confirm. A lot of my classmates were just plain bullies- and many of them wanted to work with children.

[@kalima7446]

@@NameOfRain How can that be? I mean aren't there supervisons, quality controls, someone that sorts out disturbed characters? Too many eyes closed.

[@michellelove9838]

I had one therapist who raised her voice and said, "WHY are you crying?!" as I spoke about my family attacking me relentlessly when my very, very abusive father died. Never went back.

[@sandy3028]

Omfg 😮 not ok’

[@themaggattack]

That so-called "therapist" needs to lose their license! I'm so sorry that happened to you!! I was lucky enough to have a therapist who taught me that tears are literally healing because there are stress enzymes that get released through crying. Over time, when you never cry, those stress enzymes settle into your body and eventually make you sick. Furthermore, anyone would have cried from what you were going through, and anyone who doesn't understand why has no empathy!

[@michellelove9838]

@@themaggattack Thank you. ❤️ "Nevertheless, I persisted." 😉 Sooo happy with my life now!

[@gingerrivas5354]

Omg!!! That is my MOM!!!!!😢😢😢 She was a pedagogical therapists and she used to beat the hell out of me!!!! No one believes me when I talk about it as a child😢

[@OneCatShortOfCrazy]

I know it might not mean much as I am nobody to you, but I believe you! I hope you are doing ok! hugs!

[@gingerrivas5354]

@@OneCatShortOfCrazy oh!!! Thanks!!! You made me feel better.... No one in my life have tell me that!!!!

[@CrocusSeal]

I believe you. It's not your fault.

[@ImaniSmiley]

i believe you ❤

[@gingerrivas5354]

Thank you, thank you, thank you very much

[@novalyn.shelby]

"oh... we werent trained in that..." 😂 Nah... ? Well.. I'm living it so buckle up, sweetheart. 😂

[@hopealivealways]

👀😢

[@novalyn.shelby]

@@hopealivealways no tears. I've got a good therapist now. Just have an odd sense of humour. 😂💯

[@hopealivealways]

Oooh. Ok 😂. Still, this is such baffling incompetence and lack of professionalism.

[@novalyn.shelby]

@@hopealivealways it very much is. The amount of "educated professionals" I've had to explain basic things to is alarming. I hope everyone here is able to find good therapy that works for them! 💯💯🦋

[@hopealivealways]

@@novalyn.shelby VERY ALARMING!!!!!! And I hope for the same for all of us too. 💯 Good talk! 🫡

[@janay9706]

I cant believe you posted this. Im 68 and started recovery at 36 in 1992 (they didn’t even cover trauma like you do today). I remember thinking, what if your trauma included toxic therapists? No safe place to go. Love that you are addressing this. Thank you Patrick 🙏🏼💗

[@hopealivealways]

❤️

[@Cb22075]

💔 I know ur pain! My previous crap therapist scolded me for bringing my 6 yr old daughter when she was sick & out of school bc I have no babysitter bc I'm a single parent after leaving an abusive marriage and low income bc my cptsd disallows me from working 😀 thank God my inner adult came to the rescue and fired her butt. I have an amazing empathetic, compassionate, sweet therapist now who I look forward to seeing ever single time, I wanted to tell u that u should look into IFS therapy, that's what kind of therapist mine is. Since the basis of that model is rooted in viewing the client from a place of compassion and trying to understand them vs "pathologize" them, IFS therapists are known for being incredibly empathetic, non-judgmental and supportive. I feel so safe w mine, it's the best feeling I've never had before! And IFS (Internal Family Systems) is so similar to the model Patrick uses, it's all about strengthening ones inner adult and giving compassionate witness to the trauma and injustices our younger self endured. I strongly urge anyone who's had an abusive therapist, to check out IFS! If you go to psychologytoday dot com they have a filter for IFS practicing therapists and in your zip code and u can filter by insurance type. ❤

[@chelseabunker2391]

I am so sorry that was the experience you had and i hope you eventually found someone trustworthy and competent. ❤️‍🩹 I have totally had toxic therapists. One was posing as a couples counselor but was only a social worker with training in substance abuse for solo individuals. My marriage was already on it’s last leg and that crazy woman physically (stared me down toe to toe) got in my face trying to put words in my mouth and wouldn’t move so I could leave her office until I said a judgement she made about my character was correct even though it was an assumption she made on our second session. The first session she flat out told my husband he was doing things wrongs, then proceeded to share her personal stories and ask questions that did not pertain to our session in the least. By the time I found a quality therapist with the right credentials my husband had already dug his heels in so deep on counseling that he refused to waste anymore money on quacks. 😔 I had another incident in one on one counseling that a therapist tried to force me to describe in detail my childhood trauma, then relabeled it as something far less than abuse because I did not want to relive the disgusting details for the sake of proving my trauma. She was a teacher of one of the psych programs at a local university too. People are people no matter their education. You can tell the therapists that have actually done their own personal healing because they are actually fully functional people who are well equipped to sit with their patients healing.

[@judasthepious1499]

"No safe place to go.." 😢

[@Gweenbow]

Trauma sometimes does include toxic therapists infact it's more common than we're aware of! If we're unaware of this matter its easy to feel traumatised all over again n they even end up prescribing wrong/ strong medications despite it! Creepy world. Lucky are those who find genuine ones..

[@cloudwalker8266]

My favorite response: "That's just crazy!" every time I brought up a memory

[@OneCatShortOfCrazy]

My last one just kept judgmentally saying "that just sounds exhausting" suggesting I stop struggling with all the things I am struggling with because I'm just wasting energy. Fun right?! 😆

[@BAsed_AFro]

@@OneCatShortOfCrazy Look at what the same folks "exhaust" all their own energy onto.

[@sublimetulips6771]

Mine was, “Realllly?”

[@jdprettynails]

Mine was “mhm….yeaaaahh….”

[@sublimetulips6771]

@@jdprettynails we get much more interaction from these videos. That is tragic.😤

[@dariasmeh]

loved the "i'm a mother" line..."as a mother of 3" - people who constantly reference their "motherhood" are just toxic poison, to their children and the rest of us.

[@Sedgie-Tube]

I know, it's annoying - as if being a parent makes on better than someone who isn't.

[@thelordcomanderwhocriedwolf]

💯👍🤢

[@thelordcomanderwhocriedwolf]

I hate it that they use motherhood/parenthood and/or their kids even as a crutch. As if they are not human beings, just mere objects.

[@jdprettynails]

I’m not a mother, but as a parentified child I also have knowledge and life experiences that most parents do….but since I didn’t create a spawn of my own… “You don’t know what you’re talking about”

[@Emile-philia]

I find that you can generally tell it's toxic and manipulative when people use one sentence "mother of 3" to imply a *completely different thing* as if we all come from the same frame of reference (narcissism).

[@LimitlessThinker]

I had a therapist say a little Shakespeare to me. He said, Me thinks thou protests too much. I never went back after that.

[@littlemoth4956]

The irony of that when you know what the real meaning of that is lol

[@deryasefer]

Wow. I guess not all therapists is equiped with empathy!

[@FreyaFleurNoire]

I can see how extremely toxic and abusive people can be drawn to becoming therapists. On the one hand they'll have access to patients who are vulnerable and seeking their help which might give them exactly the kind of leverage they want to get a sense of superiority and power over someone, and then on the other hand take that title to appear like they are trustworthy and good members of society. There are good and bad in the field. Really glad you are exposing this kind of behavior and shining a light to this reality as well and the difficulty and trauma people might face when seeking help. And you do it so well! It is validating and entertaining. Genius. I love your heart and your work!

[@lisa2000geese]

Well said!

[@dragonmage7980]

My current therapist once told me she's in the job because she's fascinated by how people's brains work. Not actually interested in helping them out of compassion, just wants to examine them like bugs under microscope. I desperately need a new therapist

[@FreyaFleurNoire]

@@dragonmage7980 That's awful! I'm so sorry you have that going on. I hope you can find someone much better 🙏

[@jiyeonkim9862]

@@dragonmage7980I’m so sorry. Some therapists operate like that, but it doesn’t really help “patients” because of the different priorities. If they have a private practice, they should shift their focus on patients. If they just want to research human behaviors, they need to stay in academic fields or do something else.

[@cafeguitarist]

So well said. Some of these professionals go home and play divide and conquer with their families like thier delivering group therapy. It only needs one or two members sucked in to the idea that therapists are 'automatically' good people for the dynamic to be an insane mish-mash of rusty razor blade karpmans triangles. I've rarely been afraid of crims or psychpaths ... or for that matter fooled by the camouflage of status or rank ... it's the sheep they suck in to their circle of sin that scare the hell out of me. Wealth and social status (including therapists, shrinks and psychologists) are never ... never ... ever ... a measure of morality.

[@theamazingbiff]

I've fired more therapists than I can even count. If I weren't young and naive at the time, I probably could have gotten at least one license pulled. Now whenever I start with someone new we have to work through Bad Therapist PTSD before we can do anything else.

[@oishikaray2767]

❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@BronzeDragon133]

I have so much Bad Therapist PTSD it's ridiculous, starting in my late teenage years with the one who reported everything I said to my parents (with the consequence that I simply started lying to that one and feeding back false stories). I kinda gave up and now have to do it online and very slowly....

[@deryasefer]

That is absolutely terrible. My friend who has been thru lots of therapy for her CPTSD cautioned me that many therapists out there are not mature enough to handle this work. I had a personal experience with trusting the wrong spiritual teacher who ended up continuously invalidated my experiences on top of gaslighting me about my own experience. Absolutely terrible.

[@lindalubanga]

When talking about what happened to you and they say... 'uugghhh....you need to get out of victim mode' . Am like that's why am here you help me get what happened to me, out of my nervous system!!!! Its etched in my body!

[@WaterFor3st]

My previous therapist, right before ending a call I heard her say “ugh”. I couldn’t stand seeing her face again so I stopped seeing her after the next time. It hurt to just hear that even when you think the sessions might be doing good smh.

[@GordonFornow]

Yes, I have had at least two imply that I have victim mentality, when the reality is that I was victimized. Crimes were committed against us. We have progressed enough to know it, and talk about it, but many therapists do not do well with that awareness.

[@jdprettynails]

@@WaterFor3stthat’s disgustingly unprofessional. Just wow.

[@Mike-sj9si]

Exactly! And I'm like well what do you want me to do, just not tell you about my life!? "Hello, therapist. For context so you can treat me I'll tell you a little about my life, but ONLY the happy parts"

[@deryasefer]

​@@WaterFor3st i am sorry you had to go thru that with her, how unprofessional and toxic, wow!! 😢😮

[@stephenie44]

If I have a dollar for everytime I’ve heard someone talk about their abusive/neglectful parent and later mention their parent is a therapist, counselor, or psychiatrist …. 🤦‍♀️

[@Greenteabreeze]

*raising hand*

[@SiriusBMermaid]

Like Sheldon's roommate from that show. (Sorry I can't remember the title). His mom was a world renowned child psychologist who wrote books but she was clearly a narcissist. She was abusive to her son especially when he wanted to emotionally address his issues.

[@cupcaketv5673]

Luckily not a licensed one but once in a while, sporadically, they train online to become a therapist (on a website I told them to check the sources at because the one time I read over smth they were reading from there I noticed there was false information 💀 which they ignore ofc) so does that count? Also, they've been occasionally saying, for as long as I can remember, that _they_ could rather tell/teach/... any therapist out there something instead of the other way around. At this point I wouldn't be surprised if this was either a power fetish of them or a way to compensate for their low self-esteem / ...

[@cupcaketv5673]

​@@SiriusBMermaidAh, Leonard. I think the cherry on top was how much Sheldon liked her.

[@stephenie44]

@@cupcaketv5673 I think it makes sense that some narcissists become therapists. It fulfills a savior complex (grandiosity, ego), is a constant source of validation (narc “supply”), and successfully keeps their attention off of their own inner turmoil because other people’s trauma is VERY distracting. Perfect excuse to avoid anything you don’t wanna look at.

[@memo-fq3ps]

Imagine you cry in front of this therapist and they tell you, "Stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about!" 💀

[@VirgoKat]

@memo-fq3ps That was my mum's favourite threat and as a HSP child it was soul crushing!

[@justjules6975]

I had a psychiatrist and I wish I were kidding tell me I should try being a cougar for my depression! The therapist there cried more at sessions than I did. I had another tell me my father’s sexual abuse was probably from stress. The one I had this past year talked about starting something every session but just sat there and said I’m sorry the whole session. One day she told me I looked so nice for someone supposedly depressed surely I didn’t dress up for her. Between that and her office calling to stick me with $700 because they messed up on the referral. Hell nah! I will be going to my third visit this week to a new therapist and I can see such a difference with her. It hurts when you desperately need help and these ppl are just as bad as what you’re trying to heal from. Thanks Patrick♥️

[@hopealivealways]

😢❤ sending you virtual hugs.

[@justjules6975]

@@hopealivealways Thank you love hugs and love back at you xx♥️ We need more Patricks! I did have a wonderful therapist once and I had to stop going because of money. I think the memory of how kind she was has kept me looking for someone like her. My parents taught me to never show my pain but she always saw through the mask and called me out to feel everything I was holding in. I’ll never forget her.

[@hopealivealways]

@@justjules6975 that's powerful! And I agree with you 💯% we need more Patricks!

[@ryank6322]

Sorry to hear your negative experiences. Can you report these therapists for malpractice or leave a bad review or something?? The idea that they are still out there doing "therapy" is horrible, and getting paid for it no less.

[@justjules6975]

@@ryank6322 I have on the one from last year. One is retired. The psych and the therapist from the same office I don’t know their names honestly. That was years ago and that office is closed. Hopefully she got herself together or changed careers and he was fired. I didn’t make waves back then but I definitely will now. It was unbelievable. My GP may have said or done something because when I told him what he said he was angry.

[@mental_kintsugi]

Gosh, you're playing this so good that you made me f*cking angry😂

[@eri_cupcake]

My first therapist was like this. I'd have actual anxiety attacks on the days I had appointments. I eventually stopped the appointments despite his insistence that I needed to continue therapy. I never wanted to do therapy again. It was the only after, when I was referred to a psychiatrist who has real empathy and would actually listen to me that I realized how real therapy is supposed to be. That psychiatrist even went out of her way to help me find a great therapist and start my healing.

[@thelordcomanderwhocriedwolf]

That is so wonderful. ❤️‍🔥🫂

[@lisa2000geese]

Understandable that you didn't want to start again, glad you had help finding better therapy!!

[@linden5165]

Reminding me of a recent therapist who I saw for supervision who I left after one session. She was not up to speed with concepts, "corrected" me but was wrong herself, and when I explained a new framework with a different name she said "oh, it's all just words that mean the same thing" - it's not. Also she was totally disorganised and patronisingly told me how to think about my identity. The person I moved to is so switched-on and amazing. Walking away from bad therapists is always for the best.

[@thelordcomanderwhocriedwolf]

🫂💯❤️‍🔥

[@keprince6590]

My brother is training to be a therapist. He has also been the most traumatizing. He has sabotaged every attempt of mine to leave a abusive situation. He says I need to give more grace, and that there was nothing to repair in our relationship. When he was normal everything was fine, then his new wife would talk to him, and he would reenter my space with anger and threats suddenly. She was passive aggressive until i saw through her fakeness and consistent rude and inappropriate comments. When that happened she went ballistic. The lies, manipulation, and gaslighting once I saw the danger were immense. Its been just over a month now, and I am finally coming out of my trauma response. And all the reasons they gave for treating me with zero compassion or empathy. none of them have been completed. No sold house, so Mom is now been waiting 10 years for him to finish selling it since she owns it and he often never pays her for it, and calls me the loser instead. I reduced my financial burden, while he would take Vegas trips. get married, all while neglecting the home (piss covered house) and not paying rent. In dysfunctional families, the scapegoat gets the abuse no matter who is the actual cause of the stressful situation.

[@Vasyan228]

They are delulu. My elder narcissist sister who abused and bullied me for almost my whole life and never attended therapy and has almost 0 self-awareness about her behaviour and her inner proccesses wants to become therapist. Like wtf... I was shocked when I first got that information... How many therapists there are like that?

[@Arya-cf7vu]

Oh lots I bet. My covert narc ex husband became one. They are toxic, dangerous and get supply from their clients while legitimising themselves in society by having the label 'therapist', making them the authority on all things to do with the mind, emotions and interpersonal relationships in the eyes of society/ their community. ​@Vasyan228

[@lostredsock6989]

People have to jump through more hoops to be approved to adopt a cat or dog than is required of an applicant who wants to learn skills on how to dismantle the psyche of another human. It's all about the teaching institution remaining financially viable: bums on pews.

[@SiriusBMermaid]

​@Vasyan228 sadly being a therapist is a "perfect" way for them to find more victims to abuse.

[@BookWyrmOnAString]

​@@Vasyan228 please dont use those terms like that. Acting as though people with delusions or npd are "inherently evil" just worsens the stigma around mental health. Call an abuser an abuser, narcissism's got nothing to do with it.

[@MaryDunford]

I had a psychiatrist deliberately give me the wrong diagnoses. When I found out I asked her why she did that. She told me she didn't want me to research my own conditions. Same "doctor" also became disgusted when I said I didn't want to violate my principles and tried to inform me as to my thoughts rather than ask. I swear that woman enjoyed it when I left her office worse than when I went in. Needless to say, she's no longer my "doctor". I pity anyone she still "treats".

[@stacylynnh]

Sometimes they do it for insurance purposes too.

[@OneCatShortOfCrazy]

All the hugs! That sounds horrible!

[@zarynaryaz]

I cringe because I can actually imagine this ... I'm so sorry for everyone who had to go through this ❤

[@hopealivealways]

Praying for healing for everyone who has been retraumatized by therapy and/or the places they sought help and guidance from. Dont give up on your healing journey and dont give up on you! ❤❤❤

[@thelordcomanderwhocriedwolf]

Thank you🫂 I wish you and everyone else the best as well.❤

[@hopealivealways]

@@thelordcomanderwhocriedwolf ❤️ thank you.

[@Gweenbow]

Thank you❤❤❤ much love ❤❤

[@hopealivealways]

@Gweenbow ❤️❤️❤️

[@PatientPerspective]

Had a couple of therapist use their lap top or phone to lookup stuff rather than just listen and respond to what I said. It's a method of dismissing what you said. Like they don't believe you so they have to go to an authority outside their field to justify

[@RayF6126]

I had someone ask first about something like that, but to just do so randomly is rude.

[@littlemoth4956]

God forbid a therapist wanna be informed lol

[@ChrisWestin]

I haven't had a toxic therapist, but I have had a similar experience elsewhere. I participated in a "recovering nice guys" group (based on the book "No More Mr. Nice Guy"), and the facilitator (himself a men's coach) periodically shut me down the same way my father did. I would challenge him (nicely) on something, he would quickly get impatient and shut me down, after which I couldn't speak because of the pattern I was in the throes of. He asked me about my silence once towards the end ("I expected you to push back more...?"), and it wasn't until then that I realized what had been happening all along.

[@aronhighgrove4100]

Has pushing back more worked, or did you just shut down more? I wonder what other options would exist beyond getting angry, when you tried to push back nicely. Maybe the idea is finding that out. But I suppose it would be better if you got a quick summary page about possible options to practice, before you enter this event. Otherwise, as you said, you'll just fall back into the usual patterns. I can imagine it would work if it was planned better, so you can prepare mentally.

[@ChrisWestin]

@@aronhighgrove4100 That was about two years ago, when I was just starting to see that pattern. Since then, this pattern played out in full once more with my father, and I completely saw through it. I tried to get him to talk about the pattern itself, and he refused to recognize it and doubled down on his shitty behavior. I went no-contact. Knowing what I know and see now, that led to the unraveling of this pattern, and I am no longer at the effect of it.

[@sheepysnowtato824]

Wait, what was happening, I don't quite get it?

[@lallyk3945]

I love this.This is so funny! 😂 I had a therapist once who told me we were going to do "remothering" work. So, at the next appointment, she yelled at me that my hair wasn't styled appropriately and I should be dressing up for appts! Is that what she thought that Mothering is? ...I just walked out. 🤷‍♀️

[@hopealivealways]

👀 Good for you that you walked away! I hope you're in a better place now.

[@lallyk3945]

@@hopealivealways much better, thank you. 🙏

[@hopealivealways]

@@lallyk3945 ❤️

[@PatientPerspective]

Wow. That's funked up. I'm glad you walked out. I would have been to frozen to leave.

[@lallyk3945]

@@PatientPerspective Yeah! I usually freeze in situations like that. I surprised myself. I don't know why I was able to just get up and leave that time.

[@kristiangregory4860]

I'm glad I know enough to trust my body and walk out of conversations like that.

[@vialwilps9782]

@@kristiangregory4860❤️ love these kind words you say to yourself, and I am trying learning to say these things to myself too, so thank you.

[@abstract3213]

Yes, folks trust your intuition. 💗

[@lisam919]

My stepmom was a therapist. And a narc. And a mistress. And a hoarder.

[@АламатТВ]

Stepmom, mistress...kinky.

[@hopealivealways]

I am very passionate about this topic and have contemplated joining this field to help those struggling with trauma from therapy above their experiences that brought them to therapy. We pay so much to gain so little in these toxic therapy spaces; time, emotions, regression, money!!!!! It's not Ok for therapists to treat their client's this way!!!!

[@pixiepianoplayer114]

Patrick luv, please stop summoming my dead mother...she may break you. ( As you may understand, I am relating ALL TOO HARD with Patrick's excellent portrayal) Patrick my lad, you're doing God's work, by showing us the REAL DEVILS in the world. Bless bless bless!

[@deekshasingh5453]

I died laughing, might meet your mother in person now 🤣🤣🤣

[@lauragadille3384]

Had many of them and fired them

[@yukio_saito]

Same

[@helpmeImpoor5314]

This really hits home. I had one helpful therapist out maybe 7 or so. I had to stop seeing her due to a change in health insurance. I just left another "bad" one about 6 months ago. I really needed the support but ... Maybe I'll try again in the future. Its very defeating

[@OneCatShortOfCrazy]

💜

[@CrocusSeal]

I honestly got so much more out of Pete Walker's book and ASCA meetings than I ever did out of therapy.

[@kathycarlson7947]

I'm squirming. Yikes. Now I know just how blessed I was to find my therapist over 30 years ago. She was compassionate and wise.

[@keariewashburn4680]

This is infuriating to me that there are some out there that abuse their patients/ clients. I had 2 and I did tell them exactly what they could do ( like shove it....ect and walked out) but, that was when I wasn't scared to death to do that. You finally get to that. I did walk out in tears one time and so exhausted. The front desk receptionist or such looked at me concerned and I told her that This just isn't going to work. This guy is inappropriate and very unprofessional I will find someone else that is capable and knows how to do this with appropriate professionalism and respect. Someone who gives a damn about people and really help.

[@saturdayschild8535]

Yikes. I’ve had this therapist before. I got up and walked out. I had enough of my covert mom (a therapist) being condescending and backhanded for a lifetime.

[@scarebears3359]

"I'm training my clients not to need them" I'M DYING HOLY SHIT Side note this is the first thing that's made me feel anything positive all day so I appreciate that a lot!

[@Hairitage2023]

Had a therapist like this and I felt so frustrated, but couldn’t even grasp why. Thanks for this scenario it helps me to see it

[@Vasyan228]

My elder narcissist sister who abused and bullied me for almost my whole life and never attended therapy and has almost 0 self-awareness about her behaviour and her inner proccesses wants to become therapist. Like wtf... I was shocked when I first got that information... How many therapists there are like that?

[@lisa2000geese]

Ha, I had a messed up, bullying sister with no self awareness who once said she wanted to be a counselor. Good thing she didn't pursue it.

[@tanizaki]

Tuesdays with Morrie! 😂

[@ejmabrothers6743]

Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.

[@chrisbenoit5044]

Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!

[@BenjaminCanales-nn9gi]

Yes, dr.porassss. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.

[@Malaikamuskan-v5z]

I wish they were readily available in my place. Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac. He's constantly talking about killing someone. He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.

[@chrisbenoit5044]

Is he on instagram?

[@BenjaminCanales-nn9gi]

Yes he is dr.porassss

[@CrocusSeal]

This person went to school for several years and gets paid thousands of dollars to act like this

[@FrostingAdventure]

You forgot after the appointment… “That’ll be $150, do you want to schedule another appointment next week?”

[@hopealivealways]

@@FrostingAdventure 🎯

[@BranchDavidian-]

I went to two therapist appointments and they billed me $850 dollars so I quit

[@BranchDavidian-]

I went to two therapist appointments and they billed me $850 dollars so I quit

[@comefondue]

My recent therapist asked me if I thought it would be OK for her to go no contact with her alcoholic dad. What the? Worst part… I kept going back.

[@rosecoon1791]

I spent several sessions telling my therapist some very heartbreaking and sensitive things and one day I showed up 12 minutes late, she was furious and totally focused on me not being on time. That was the last time I went there. That sure as f was not a safe space. And it wasn’t even covered by insurance, I was paying for it myself. So I felt like her need to have me be there right on time or early became much greater than various abuses that I suffered as a child and also in adulthood.

[@abstract3213]

Sad .. terrible. Not an example of "unconditional positive regard". Many of them are full of sh...

[@freyashipley6556]

Terrifying. 😳 (Maybe because my abusive parent actually was a therapist?)

[@62Movement]

I’m so sorry.

[@thelordcomanderwhocriedwolf]

🫂

[@abstract3213]

I'm sorry. 💗 I think this is quite common. Also, this very popular therapist Alice Muller, who wrote the book The Drama of the Gifted Child, and The Body Never Lies was VERY abusive to her son.

[@fuzbugg]

why do so few therapists know about pete walker lol

[@thelordcomanderwhocriedwolf]

This💯

[@suneater_zeef050]

i had a therapist who saw me answer a message to my dad on the phone and said "you know, if you aren't interested, we can just end the session." oof, definitely heard that one before!

[@destinyserrano2409]

The only time I ever sought professional help it went something like this and I've never sought professional help ever again. I also had Frozen Hope. When your primal innocence doesn't want to believe your family could be so evil. So I gave them a chance and I explained to them how I felt. They told me I was living in the past. What a bunch of toxic rats.

[@earthrooster1969]

Wow! Love your 'scenario' creation...with your help Patrick I think it's making many of us get stronger and be in better control of our own healing. Because of your posts, I have started truly understanding the term 'reparenting' and call in my healthy, strong adult self when my inner child is in despair...

[@mysnackr]

Patrick your role plays are A+.

[@janem3575]

it's sad there are therapists like that

[@SHerit-q3v]

Out of the 40 plus therapists/shrinks I have had to see I can honestly say that only 2 of them truly helped me ( what I noticed from all of them except those two was all they cared about was getting paid )

[@nathalieduverna6963]

I'd walk out of a session abd never come me back.

[@carmeira]

My second therapist was like my mother. When I ended our sessions because I noticed some transference, she suggested we work through it. I told her that was not what I wanted to be the focus of my therapy sessions. I've been with my current therapy for the past several years since 🙌

[@lja1846]

I’ve had this therapist. He liked to sprinkle in biblical teachings🤣

[@OneCatShortOfCrazy]

ooof

[@KristaE_786]

I've had so many therapists exhibit those behaviors. This video helped me put into context that it's not me being flighty going from therapist to therapist, or the years I gave up on it altogether. It also makes me so thankful for the therapist I have now.

[@Jasonslittlesister1]

The best video. I can so relate to this- because there actually exist therapists like that!!! "Before you'll play the victim here again..." "But you need to understand your bosses side..." "It's called learned helplessness..." All THAT CRAP!!! I'm not a victim, until YOU victim blamed me! And kicked in my betrayal trauma again, thank you so much! I'm a survivor. And if it was that easy to let go of the pain I would! And you know what? You'll never find a therapist who went through trauma him or herself who will call you that!!! Because they know. They've felt it. Search for someone who's been successfully through the same as you were. You'll find out what it's supposed to feel like to get compassion and understanding from another person. You don't need another critiquer from the outward if you're your own worst nightmare critiquer from the inside! We're not alone ❤

[@sarahjmount9221]

OMG! LOL! 😂 Patrick, you’re so funny! That was hilarious. I needed a good laugh today. Thank you. ❤

[@miracles-f2o]

A woman therapist shouted at me 😢 Stopped going 😢

[@yukio_saito]

Same.

[@itskindofemily]

If this were my parent, they'd talk about how they need their needs met 😂 they'd insist they're not the bad guy

[@srso4660]

This is every therapist I’ve ever had. I finally gave up on therapy

[@bellaluce7088]

❤😂 When the KZbin therapist who's helped you more than any IRL clinician also cracks you up! 0:22 "No I'm not familiar with that book Peter Walker uh okay I just finished a book called Tuesdays with Morrie it's a beautiful book I've read it several times it's about respecting the older generation and respecting mentors and really aren't all parents mentors when you think about it." 😂🤣Thanks, Patrick! 🏆👏

[@MeRiaNevaMynd]

I wasted ALOT of money and years on therapists like that. I'm sure plenty of others have too. Its so sad 😥

[@GabrielleTollerson]

way WAY too many therapists and psychiatrists are this way,I now avoid them altogether..one psychiatrist blamed ME for abuse,he said and I quote: "You talk about suicide too much,that's why he treats you that way" It was SICK!!!

[@ElectroAnnie]

Oof. My abusive parent was obsessed with Tuesdays With Morrie! 😂

[@n.e9831]

My MIL was a relationship counsellor for 25+ years and is abusive 😕

[@barbaraalbert5600]

My last therapist, who professionally ended things with a 'text of termination ' was apparently wanting me to be an old lady bridge partner. Always saying "we'll talk about it next time" "It" didn't ever come back up.

[@SM999]

The most annoying part of dealing with a. Therapist is when they ask you what can I do for you. And they are passive aggressive about it too. Like aren’t you supposed to be my therapist ? Lol

[@lisa2000geese]

Yes. It takes a lot of work before a person is able to speak up for their needs. Therapists like this need to do a lot more teaching and support with the client first.

[@jiyeonkim9862]

I’m so sorry. Many people lack empathy.

[@karmilkm]

I've had a therapist who spent the hour telling me her problems, I've had a therapist yawn as I was sobbing from deep mental abuse, Ive had a therapist tell me his political views and the last one I had tell me, I wouldn't have done that. No more therapy for me, they cause more harm then good

[@abstract3213]

Same here, it caused more harm than good, it re-traumatized me deeply. Never again. I am done with them, they are highly idealized in society, as if it's always the clients fault. I will never trust them again. It is just a good business with a VERY expensive and overrated hour rate.

[@littlebird8515]

sounds like my mom. luckily my therapist was awesome.

[@LurkingLinnet]

This makes me lose faith in the system horribly..

[@anabanana-q5q]

you’re hilarious! 😂 i once saw a counsellor about workplace bullying causing severe mental health issues and was basically told “that’s just how women act, it’s normal” er……. if i wanted my feelings dismissed i could have just chatted to my parents

[@tanyakashyap6944]

Wow Patrick.. You are Waking us the fxxk up ❤

[@JohnTheRevelator11]

😂 that’s too fun. I love the light hearted way of looking at this.

[@ingridsim7570]

I'm so glad for creators like him. Precious people like him make sufferers feel less alone.

[@alanastates-hu4pi]

What's sad is that there are therapists like this like I've met them lol

[@ChrisJWinn]

Talking about revenge, therapist says, "I think there should be more love in the world".

[@thelordcomanderwhocriedwolf]

Great😂

[@dtearney]

But . . . there are literally therapists out there who are both awful parents and therapists LOL

[@lilbunniiee]

"i did all that i could do, parenting doesnt come with a handbook (theres thousands of books on it but ok), youre just ungrateful/you never appreciate me!" lol

[@dragonmage7980]

Also having basic empathy, compassion, and respect for a tiny child isn't in any way difficult, or shouldn't be.

[@lilbunniiee]

@@dragonmage7980 i agree. also might be TMI but my mom chose not to protect me from abuse going on in the home, and she still chose to throw those words at me. we dont talk anymore. some people should never be parents

[@kimlec3592]

Emotional safety is paramount..

[@thelordcomanderwhocriedwolf]

Absolutely ❤️‍🔥

[@r8chlletters]

When your therapist parent always ends the phone conversation in exactly the time a session takes. Every. Single. Call.

[@fembot521]

Funny because my narc mom is a therapist.

[@Rizzberry89]

It's like she's in the room 😂

[@sallyann985]

Patrick, you should've been an actor 😂

[@lallyk3945]

Yes! And a comedian!

[@-Miss11Feb]

Therapists like this shouldn't even be one

[@WaterFor3st]

The roleplaying is 😩 man I hope my therapist doesn’t ever do this to me….

[@alannathurgood2814]

My mom is literally reading Tuesdays with Morrie now, I died 😂

[@newlife.vanessacalfan]

I actually enjoyed it at the time

[@bewarefalsenonprofits]

Comedy just hits different and is so necessary to healing. TY for another creative mind opener. My EXmother that is an alcoholic, schizophrenic, chain smoking, raging, Gemini narcissist has always claimed to hold a college degree in psychology. Her family purchased a degree in "history" for her from Ole Miss, while her first devil's spawn was a toddler. So, for over 50 years she told anyone that would listen to her blatherings that SHE has a degree in psychology,.so she knows SHE is NOT the problem.

[@LaRodillaDans]

had a therapist like this. Was required to see her for 6 sessions after I had a mental breakdown . So on top of the trauma of all that, I had like the most judgmental and negative therapist ever. This is why a lot of people stop doing therapy. Because we try and try for years. Looking for a therapist in our coverage that isn't just going to re traumatize us.

[@ketunpoika]

Oh my freaking god the 1:11 of "all three of my children were not a good fit XD". It leaves me feeling utterly puzzled every time (so: _often_ ) when my mother makes those "haha lol :D" remarks that are incredibly insidious. I really don't know if she realises it at all.

[@FOXKING504]

Dude this is so relevant

[@fireupyourheartfortruth]

Yeah had a couple therapist like this. Goodnes. Great acting Patrick!

[@amysaidit]

Grateful for you talking about this

[@mightytaiger3000]

I went to therapy from 2014 till 2019. That was enough for me and frankly I think I could have walked myself to the same “breakthroughs” had I just had a decent friend and family member who listened instead of dismissing or arguing. I had to change therapists at about every 10 months because undoubtedly either gaslighting would start or they didn’t know where else to go and would start trying to sell “courses” or some kind of bs like that to me. The worst pattern I found out is the constant suggestion that “Hey, it’s not rare” “Some people have it worse”… Ok and? If someone just had their home destroyed by a natural disaster, does it help to say “This happens all the time” or “Well, at least it wasn’t the Holocaust”??

[@hazelkitty27]

this is just like my old therapist that was really disrespectful and judgmental and almost destroyed me psychologically until I told him to close my case and he said "this is you doing this, you're running away."

[@abstract3213]

You run away from an abuser. But they see themselves as perfect so they won't really take full accountability.

[@a.c.1877]

My mom was literally a child psychologist. Enough said.

[@M.j.7]

I’m not sure if there’s videos done already, but can you make a video on how to be supportive living with someone with BPD who is getting therapy without unintentionally enabling when they’re being manipulative? Or at least how to be supportive but still protecting your own mental health? I have childhood trauma from my mom not getting help and have finally started to start therapy that’s not court ordered after losing one of my brothers to suicide. I used to have a bias and hold a stigma against BPD because I was terrified of it and I apologize for all the people maybe reading this that suffer from it that there is a stigma. Anyone trying to help themselves deserves to have someone in their corner to feel safe and heard when you’re trying to not hurt and not hurt the people you love 🫶🏻 You deserve love too and your mistakes don’t have to be your future… we’re all human and everyone makes mistakes 🫶🏻

[@stacylynnh]

BPD is really a trauma response. Look up Dr. Janina Fisher and borderline personality disorder. Watch her videos on it. You'll learn a lot and it could help you. The loss of your brother is tragic. My heart goes out to you.