If They Ghosted You, Watch This | Mel Robbins

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Have you been ghosted? Then I want you to ask yourself this and answer honestly-- Did you see any 🚩red flags 🚩that you ignored before this person ghosted you?
I bet you can think of a few.
Did they ditch your plans together as soon as something better came up? Were they only interested when you ignored them? Were they disrespectful? Did they treat you poorly? These signs are red flags and prove the relationship was over before the ghosting even happened. Those red flags aren’t lying to you. The person who ghosted you is the one that was lying.
The reason ghosting hurts so much is because it’s rude. And here’s a tip to help you move on-- instead of ruminating over the fact that you deserved an explanation, keep reminding yourself that you deserve someone better.
Share with someone who needs to be reminded: No ghosts allowed👻
PS. This is a clip from my daytime talk show, The Mel Robbins Show, which is no longer being broadcasted. If you want to hear more content like this, check out my podcast, The Mel Robbins Podcast: www.melrobbins...
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[@charliecharles8517]

It's the feeling of having been discarded, like garbage.

[@christinagarcia5274]

That and that everything they told you and all the attention they gave you in the beginning was just a bunch of lies just so they can convince you to have sex with them, and once you did little by little they start to ghost you and then you start to wonder what's going on or was it something you did. It's awful and painful.

[@bestie2221]

When in reality the.person who did the ghosting was the actual garbage

[@leahale]

I ghost out of revenge. When someone disrespects me, I ghost.

[@_Diaryofwealth]

​@@bestie2221😂😂😂😂

[@XenoDystopia]

I mean, if you feel like grabage, it's likely true on some level. Otherwise, you wouldn't be in that kinda situation. But whatever it is, being grabage isn't so bad as you make it seem. Who gives a shit if you are grabage or not. It's not like you have anything to lose after all that.

[@jessicas9844]

Never take back a person who ghosted you to your life. They are back because nobody wanted them

[@user-yv1fh3fc8y]

If the ‘ghoster’ returns you are being played and you were never ghosted

[@Stenochic]

You’re so brutally honest. I needed to read that. 😭😂

[@Alex-ou9lb]

If it was a romantic interested. Sometimes friends ghost

[@mrs_is_the_name3377]

Not true-plus some dnt ghost u because of u some do it cuz of them just dnt want to take u threw their shit-But not true

[@jessicas9844]

@@mrs_is_the_name3377 trust me its true. Its all about priorities in life. If a person ghost you and comes back to your life, its either they lonely, they got fucked up by someone or they need something.

[@AdventureCornwall.]

To not say goodbye is so cruel.

[@Andrea11208]

I feel the pain of that girl, because I was there a couple of years ago and the fact that they consider you don't even worth an explanation is what hurts the most.

[@madhusmitamoharana6465]

Very true dear that's hurts the most... we heal with time

[@Andrea11208]

@@madhusmitamoharana6465 yeah, it hurts less every time, but the doubts are always there :( and I guess they will haunt me for the rest of my life.

[@naomiogbimi3811]

I don't care if they come back months later with an explanation. The dead doesn't come back to life,so stay dead.

[@Onein6billion72]

It sucks, it hurts unlike any other pain!

[@Andrea11208]

It gets better 😊 I found the love of my life 😍🥰

[@DanielDouglas555]

Our generation has grown way too comfortable with ghosting as a means to ending a connection. I've been ghosted by exes since 2009, before the term was even a thing, and it still hurts to my core every time it happens. Be an adult and communicate. Stop pushing away people that genuinely care about you...

[@MackLee23]

Exactly. The realization of betrayal leaves you feeling shattered. You care so much about a person and thought for so long they cared just as much about you. But, now it's clear they didn't. They tossed you aside like dirty laundry into the basket. They've gone on with life as if you never existed, much less any sort of relationship. If I EVER do this to another person, I hope someone slaps me back into reality. Ending a relationship isn't really the issue, it's the manner in which that's accomplished. Have the common decency to communicate and let the other person know what's going on, and why parting ways is necessary. Don't just roll your eyes and walk away without notice.

[@hildamckibben4244]

@@MackLee23 this happened to me 2 weeks ago after a year long relationship with someone i loved and he told me he loved me..i can honestly say ive never ever felt heartache and pain like this..its gut wrenching i cant eat or sleep i keep trying to find out with hes doing constancely..when does this pain ever go away..

[@Onein6billion72]

Beautifully stated! I am focused on self empowerment to guard my heart, emotions, set healthy boundaries, hopefully attracting meaningful, supportive, and Loving relationships. Everyone deserves Love, and to be Loved. Even the ones that have ghosted me! The Universe balances all things in Divine Timing. Peace and Blessings!

[@GBEZ]

Seems like the common thread in that long line of exes ghosting is YOU. Maybe they are through trying to make it work and wasting their effort. At a point you just have to stop the relationship, and it doesn’t matter that the other person “genuinely cares” if they are toxic to you, you don’t owe ANYONE an explanation of why you need to reinforce your boundaries.

[@DanielDouglas555]

@@GBEZ You don’t know anything about me to judge me over an app. Go away.

[@user-qy4um6zi1s]

I've come to realise that ghosting is the most cowardly and cruel way to end a relationship. It has the same impact of a sudden death of a partner, relative, friend etc. The grief of a sudden death is excruciatingly painful to deal with so when someone does that to you deliberately, just disappears from your life without a discussion or a goodbye, that's the most toxic thing a person can do. And coming back i to your life just as suddenly is even more toxic. There's always an agenda behind it. Experienced it twice with my oldest son. Never again. The relationship can stay ended.

[@JennaHasm]

Shut up snowflake. Ghosting is the least of your problems. Men disfigure with acid women that reject them (justified or not), men beat, kill, rang rape women that slight them or reject their advances. Men destroy unjustly the reputation of women they dislike.

[@NombuleloKhanyile]

🥶🫢🫢🫨your own SON??!!

[@MBT372]

I'm so sorry but if it's your son, just forgive again and again....he might have mental issues

[@guildcenter5497]

I don’t know what to do right now. She is just gone out of my life, blocks me everywhere, doesn’t even want me to see how a life is going. I have been with her for 7 years and she just suddenly stops. Leaves without a word. Yes, she is active and seems to be working on herself. But it’s just I can’t do what she is doing. I feel like I really need one last conversation or at least a good bye after everything we have been through. I have given my life to her.😔 I just don’t have to strength to live without her. It’s been 1 month and I have kept sending her messages with no response. She doesn’t even read.

[@Lucylastic178]

People saying ‘Move on!’ Clearly have high self esteem and probably a partner. Look at it like this… if a A Hole friend (not a partner) ghosts you, that just makes you feel worse. You constantly search your mind for flaws in your own character and it’s even worse when you have no clue why they did it. Yes, we all know they’re not worth the tears, but you can’t just ‘move on’, it takes time.

[@dove9570]

Exactly I agree with this!!

[@lara7224]

Real

[@davidangus2670]

Living this the last couple years, yes years

[@thestreamoflife1124]

Move on .....the person who ghosts you is not worth it. It's a lack of character. It happened to me a few weeks ago ....I just moved on .....he did me a favour

[@77guy777]

Thanks, I had a former coworker ghost me. It sucked, but I learned a lesson!

[@real_hello_kitty]

thestream If you don't invest in the person you can move on. But if you invest, you feel lost. I bet you didn't invest on the man.

[@litrugia]

@@Anastasia11101I have started to see it like this. Rejection = redirection. It’s for my benefit. I’m learning to embrace this rather than let it sting my heart.

[@KnitsOnIce]

Spot on. It’s a turn off that can never be turned back on. Ever. Sad. I stopped caring and was thankful they did me a favor. Who wants a child for a partner?

[@randoguy5767]

it's not easy. that's why millions can relate. once again, it's not easy.

[@girlweenie]

He literally BEGGED me to be with him, now here i am feeling heartbroken and stupid. I was finally opening myself up to him, when he knew i had serious trust issues. 3months wasted. 😔

[@user-qy4um6zi1s]

Be glad it's only 3 months. I've wasted 50 years on two narcissists, husband and son. Never got to know my grandsons... except for the odd emotional blackmail occasions to twist the knife. Now, it's ME ghosting them. Finally learned my lesson. And I'm at peace for the first time in 50 years.

[@vickihenry9187]

So called friends can do this too. Not just romantic relationships. Keep your eyes open. There are better friends out there!

[@TotallyDudeFun]

Here grieving a friend that did this to me..

[@tatianalaurier8658]

@@TotallyDudeFun same

[@hiyachadha]

@@TotallyDudeFun same.

[@Beyondthebayou]

@@TotallyDudeFun how are you managing this just happened to me too😢

[@nk7595]

Happening to me too, I'm trying hard to stop myself from reaching out to them again. I'm trying to just get on with life but can't stop thinking about what I did wrong and why they are okay with ghosting whereas it feels so hurtful to me.

[@kevinkong6653]

Ghosting is abusive

[@rosebud1493]

Sure is

[@lukasznijak]

😅😅😅😅

[@cerineche7269]

It's hella toxic isnt it

[@uncleteddy78]

100%

[@saisanjanagurram1423]

​@@cerineche7269 lol chasing chad seems fun right 😂

[@KletoReese]

This message is for both Men and Women! We all ignore all the red flags and then cry when it all goes wrong.

[@clar331]

If this ain't the truth, we get used to routines/ being comfortable and try to justify their actions are ok

[@vickihenry9187]

So called friends do this to.

[@PD-ss6qb]

I mean it’s hard to see a potential relationship unfold as soon as it started so you subconsciously try to justify their behavior and then it’s a shocker when it all adds up and you get ghosted

[@MackLee23]

In my experience, I've given people the benefit of the doubt repeatedly, not wanting to come across as being self centered or narcissistic. After growing up in close quarters with a severely narcissistic individual, I've always feared becoming that way myself. I consciously try to avoid behaviors which could be perceived as narcissism or the holding of unrealistic expectations. Now I've been ghosted and I stand alone attempting to pick up the pieces of my shattered heart. I am mostly to blame, as I should've realized sooner what was inevitably going to happen, but I didn't and here I am now.

[@Me29916]

Facts it just happened to me 😑

[@lavenderandgold8588]

and people wonder why i would rather hang out at home with my cats 😂

[@sp99hml]

Exactly like me 100% I choose them every time

[@princhipessa1969]

Same!

[@esh2616]

Leave them dead… lack communication no emotions but they always come back … if he do it once he’ll do it again don’t go back

[@doglover5519]

True. He did it to me twice! He doesn't have another chance!!

[@YashoShasho]

Thoughtful, compassionate, kind hearted, & mindful people are taken for granted all the time. They are discounted way too many times. People who are genuine need to stand their ground, be aloof when needed, look for and listen to those warning signs. Even 90 year olds can be petty, rude, hurtful and make for real bad company. Stay away from braggers and narcissists. These types usually will never change. Move on. It’s better to have no company than bad company.

[@lavintella]

The lack of closure is what many of the people who ghost are looking for because they know we want an explanation and often keep the relationship on hold which allows them to try to find someone who meets their needs quicker (sex, money, a place to stay, etc.) while keeping you in their harem and not allowing you to move on quicker to find someone else. When they don't find someone or it doesn't work with another person, they often come back weeks or months later but they will often ghost you again if you let them back in your life.

[@tq325]

@@lavintella Don't give them an opportunity to do this. Ghost harder and enjoy the rest of your life! Best practice ❤️

[@doglover5519]

Exactly!! He ghosted me twice. There's not another chance!

[@Steph-lo9sj]

My ex ghosted me after I moved to a different country. For years I felt the pain of rejection. Blamed myself I was confused, lost and messed up. I idolized him I thought he was perfect and that I'd lost out on a real great guy. Then several years later he tries to come back into my life by sending me and my family messages to try get back in contact with me. He finally confessed to the reason he ghosted me apparently he wanted to get rid of me but he was sorry and wants me back. After that I saw him as weak, cowardly and selfish. This is not a man I want to breed with. So I blocked him and moved on with a real man.

[@davidjackson7281]

So it sounds like you healed after given the opportunity to be in control and ghost in return. Turn around is fair play. Congratulations!

[@Steph-lo9sj]

@@davidjackson7281 Thank you! Yes moving on is healing in itself and it's not fair to bring baggage to your next relationship. I told the ex I forgave him but that I don't consider him a friend or anything and it was best to block him in the end so he can move on too. I'm just sad it wasted a few years of my life. Haha

[@davidjackson7281]

@@Steph-lo9sj Yes, life's love lessons can kind of be really hard. After awhile we thankfully tend to mostly just remember the good times. There is a favorite song of mine from the great 60's vocal group The Shangri-las singing "Remember, Walking In The Sand", aka the Oh No song. It's been covered by a number of groups. Perhaps you are familiar with it. Take care.

[@real_hello_kitty]

@@Steph-lo9sj " This is not a man I want to breed with. " :face_with_tears_of_joy: lol

[@thatbirdnut]

A close friend of eight years ghosted me. Three years later they randomly apologized and took them back. Five years later, guess who just ghosted me again? It's been a month of radio silence. I just emailed him and told him I'm not putting up with his behavior anymore. I may have been slow to learn this lesson but I'll be damned if I make that mistake again.

[@AutumnRainWish]

All this connectivity around has made people easily disposable because they know they can replace you with another one easily.

[@runfast2457]

This comment right here 👌🏽

[@doglover5519]

Just Horrible people can do this!

[@DarlingLove-ku3eu]

I ghosted a ghoster! I’m confused why I did it, but I did

[@ed1476]

People need to understand that being ghosted not only happens with a romantic relationship if also happens with family members and friends.

[@JamilaGomez82]

What I find myself struggling with the most is forgiving myself for ignoring my intuition. I don't blame myself for his behavior or the discard or the disrespect, but for allowing fear of what ultimately happened anyway stop me from speaking up or taking action before it got worse. I can't come back from that.

[@phoenixmode6909]

Needed to hear this. Ignored intuition and red flags far too many times in my life. Most recently had this lesson a third time in my 58 years; I woke up, and learned from my experiences. I also realize, my intuition has been right more than not, all my life, and I'm listening to it from here on out with the years I have left.❤️🌻

[@bobrew461]

58? what took you so long?? :-0

[@marthamac9741]

@Phoenix Mode some get it early. Some get it late and sadly some never get it. So no matter how long it taken for you be proud of yourself that you got it. Best wishes.

[@npkrn6764]

​@@bobrew461 How rude, condescending, and cold. 🙄

[@therealkoolaidandkale]

...... but sometimes, s/he does all of the right things, red flags are minimal to none, and they STILL disappear on you. I could never discard somebody that I'd led to believe that I had feelings for so callously and it's hard to imagine how someone else can. But... they can. And they do. Clearly. 👆🏾

[@pappico]

This is what happened to me which is why it sucks so much. Almost no red flags, snd then suddenly it happens…

[@real_hello_kitty]

me too

[@lionelgrisbane-ud87]

The red flags were there, it’s possible you just didn’t see them as red flags. People never behave like this out of character unless something in their life goes seriously wrong. So either something was seriously wrong or there were red flags that you may not have been attuned to. It’s not your fault.

[@lionelgrisbane-ud87]

@@pappico”almost” no red flags, so there were red flags. Red flags mean stop, something is very wrong. That you identified anything as “very wrong” means there was a huge problem, even if it was just one red flag. Yellow flag is more like something is not right but it can be worked on. Red means do not go any further. If there is one red flag and you bring it up and they don’t set about fixing it immediately, walk away

[@sammiev]

I remember that brave woman who was ghosted by her fiance on her wedding day. She still made the most of her day. What an awful human being to do that to anyone. I hope she has found someone who deserves her.

[@sovereign8043]

Recently divorced; my ex told me we can be friends and that he would return my personal items; including my family heirlooms. Now; he is not responding, returning calls or texts. It is utterly disgusting.

[@sabinerachtler8305]

Why the hell it is ALWAYS putting blame on women?? Warning signs? YOU ignored it? WTF??? He is the immature one and it doesn't matter what happened before.Absolutely not helpful

Exactly

[@mexicanbeautyqueen7988]

Rejection is protection from God!

[@Cantthinkofwhatshouldgohere]

Can also be a curse blocking your blessings too 😢

[@stephenklebold517]

Ghosting is adolecent selfish behavior. It is dehumanizing and evil. But you must consider the source and never take them back, that is who and what they are, big ZEROS, very fortunate to have them gone from yr life

[@alvarotorres9057]

There were definitely red flags that I ignored. The biggest takeaway that I’m taking from this experience, is it be more judgmental. If a woman is a single mom, ask why is she a single mom. If she doesn’t talk to her family, ask why she doesn’t talk to her family. I will be more judgmental about a woman’s past. She made me believe that the world was after her, but there’s a reason people that knew her, avoided her.

[@sweetie69ish]

I totally lose respect for someone who can't be bothered by common decency. It reveals their true character. Its a gain, not a loss. Take that "L" and keep it moving.

[@doglover5519]

It hurts so bad

[@candygirl1990]

This has just happened to me after months of talking to a guy I really liked. I'm hurt but hopefully I will get over it

[@number1andnumber4]

Same here candy girl. It just happened to me earlier after having the best first date I've ever had last night smh...It still kind of hurts, but it'll get better. They weren't supposed to be in our lives for a reason and I believe it was a good thing

[@Niuniany]

I'm going through exactly same thing. Feeling lost , confused, disappointed 😔

[@peaceofmindofpeace1650]

​​@@NiunianyMe too. Waking up with heartache crying. He went quiiet for 3 days often and I understood bc he is setting up a company and the times I told him I was done, he replied understanding and admitted he missed uo etc. Bc he wasn't rude like in earlier date experience I thooght he was sincere although ninchalant in communication. He said he wanted to build sonething beautiful with me. I know it's wotds and i tried to protect myself until we met but I still got attached after 4 months open minded contact. He was the 1st voa online dating who seemed to have similar wishes for love. He was charming but u don't want to be distrustful and see a nsrcissist in everyone jusr bc they are imperfect just like me but...I kept feeling put aside whenever it was convenient for him. Being ignored in the weekend. This was a pattern from the start. Last thursday he said " why don't you come live here?" He is starting up a new business.abroad. already has one in my area. I ruled out catfish/ scam. He cslled me twice in the first week. I replied to his message.last thursday and it's monday morning. This time I think he is gone, it's very hurtful. I have job interview tomorrow and I feel depressed and sad. Also waves of feelihlng angry how you can treat ppl like that. I miss him as a person and then i realise he doesn't miss me. When I told him I was done 2 months ago he texted " I understand your doubts, i hope if you could give me one more chance to at least meet for coffee and take it essy from there" So i thought ok...maybe he is eeal. Sincere and it could become love. 😢 hope it will fade soon. Even though we never met in person it's still a bond you felt and now there is silence and I will never know. Deep down I felt i deserve someone who is considerate and one time I told him I don't want to feel like an obligation he reolied: you are not an obligation but an addiction. I felt alerted bc it's a quick smart answer. It's very cruel. For my own rekiefu texted him my iopinion decently but no reply. The last time I felt hurt he said no worries just write how you feel. I thought: i don't want to write it out. I don't want to feel bad like this. He said " timing of our contact sucks bc I'm abroad busy but I'm still confident we will meet soon ". Even if he isn't gone. This is torture and I have to think simple m it's complete selfish and disrespect for my feelings. O sent him sweet message last Thursday and it's now monday. So confusing that i even doubt myself. It's so bizarre what it does. Feels like traumatic exhaustion meanwhile he is unbothered and apparently he didn't mean his words. Why would he put.that energy in texting 4 months. I really don't understand. He was never mean or rude in words so I thooght this time it was genuine. Well it has to leave my system day by day 😢

[@MsGenesisValdez]

Did he ever reach out to you again?

[@davidangus2670]

Living this now. Its hard to embrace the red flags, and not fight back. And to remain quiet and to move on

[@theresemartin31]

I had to listen to this atleast three times to truly absorb every word she said. Truly healing

[@AlexMakarowski]

I have it saved! 😂 What did Mel mean at 2:12 that we have to honor them though? I thought that seemed backwards but was it more the memory of them and the lessons this event taught us?

[@Sara-ck2vn]

I ignored soo many red flags in my 2 previous relationships and I suffered A LOT but now I know better and I'm stronger than ever. 💪💪

[@clar331]

You go girl 👍

[@mariajiml9895]

So True Ive been there im throught for many years . I doing well We must guard srlf Trust ourself instinct . guts ..

[@princhipessa1969]

Yep, always a red flag in there first. This goes for “friends”, exes, new potentials… always trust that Spidey sense (gut) as she says! And no 2nd, 3rd chances … same ending IMHO (I’ve mistakenly given multiple!!) live and learn)

[@tricetrice2096]

When I guy ghost me I just assumed he died. And if he comes back I tell him I thought you died and I don’t talk to ghost 👻 Casper’s boggy men.😊

[@Rosary716]

I’m eternally grateful for being ghosted by the most destructive relationship I’ve had. It hurt, but he did me a favor! Plus I learned the best lessons.

[@catye.8208]

No bc this one is real 😂 like, you were so lucky w all the crap I put up with

[@KnitsOnIce]

Yep. that’s brutal. I am appalled that people do so. Never a thing before when I was dating. Something to consider is that some people are too fearful to have the conversation and hurt the person… in the end you don’t want them no matter what. Abandonment issues from childhood can really traumatize people and it hurts for so much longer.

[@julyol119]

Very true! Trust your gut feelings.

[@karochan8627]

I ignored red flags too, always found some excuses for them....invested too much than I should’ve and got ghosted...hurts like hell and it’s hard to forgive myself the mistakes too

[@highsez934]

Can relate

[@Jemma29]

So true, there are red flags because you want them to be how you perceive them to be. Actions never aligned with their words. The important thing is to not take it personally, because then you will sabotage every other relationship with a pattern that will repeat itself. It’s not you, it’s the behaviour you’re accepting. There’s a great person out there once we get our mindset right.

[@nexusn568]

I ignored all the red flags and warnings. Now i realized that I am upset with him ghosting because I allowed him to disrespect me and treat me poorly! 😢

[@peaceofmindofpeace1650]

Same it stings.i should have ignored him more too but it's such a strong human nature and we are not robots or playing with ppl so we reprociate to the wrong one

[@Illest_sky]

I really felt Mel's maternal instincts come out in this clip. This is such an important message. I'm thankful!

[@starcatcher3691]

No not always warning signs. It's the sign of the times. It's so painful

[@OwnYourBaldSpot]

I bent over backwards for a friend for years, I constantly did things for them that they never acknowledged or cared about, even saved them financially, screwing myself to do so, and they just took without giving back or saying thank you. I saw so many red flags that I didn’t listen to. 6 years later, they ghosted me the same way they ghosted their last best friend. No conversation, no fight, they just made up their mind. It’s a cycle for them. It’s painful, but it helps knowing that my life is so much better without that kind of immaturity clouding it. All the other people in my life are beautiful lovely people, why should I focus on the one who was not?

[@1014SweetAngel]

Even tho he ghosted me. I really want my talk and my apology. You’re right very disrespectful behaviour 😢

[@poorhai9321]

They ghost you because they do NOT care about you and why would you care about someone who doesn't care about how you feel. Move on life is too short.

[@niharika-oh8gd]

Ghosting is a characterless thing , whoever does it means he/she is damn characterless person and whoever will ever want a characterless person in their life.

[@colleenjeffries3334]

There should be a law against that damn ghosting!!! It hurts so bad to get ghosted.😢😢😢

[@SeEun333]

I feel your pain 😢😢

[@royalclub148]

I experienced it 2 months ago. 2 years together, gone if we are strangers.

[@PratyushaPramanick]

It really really hurts..He just ghosted me yesterday 💔💔

[@laura6107]

It's callous, cold and cowardly. I was friends with someone for almost three years. One of the first things he said was "I'll never hurt you". Yeah right. We talked multiple times a day almost daily. I ignored the red flags. I went out of my way to purchase a gift for his birthday and Christmas. I never got or expected anything bought in return. He forgot my birthday the other year then gave a half hearted birthday message when I reminded him. We made plans and he forgot and left me waiting. I thought he was so great and now I see I was likely there along with others for his own ego. I see that now. He ditched my friendship and pushed me away. His actions made me feel he saw me as worthless when I'm not. His loss, not mine.

[@oskihaddad6406]

Never saw a red bloody flag

[@rohitraghavan7552]

Looks like the guy was a narcissist. Happened to me too. My heart goes out to you lady. God bless.

[@antonioavalos7281]

All my life… I’ve been either ghosted or softly ghosted… both are cruel… even went into such a dark and painful past… I’ve recovered, somewhat… but after 5 years of suffering for it, I come back and the first few months I made a friend, they soflty ghosted me… for no reason… I didn’t do anything wrong… for this to happen all of my life, it makes me wonder what I’m doing wrong… I’ve looked and wondered what I did wrong… I’m so hurt and wonder if I’ll even have a loyal friend, instead of being discarded like trash… my heart hurts… currently suffering through it now… and it makes me think of my past… my only friend of a few months… I know I’m not very social, but I am loyal, caring and encouraging and supportive… I’m sorry that wasn’t enough for you all that ghosted me…

[@adri8wog]

It sucks coz this girl acted so keen, told me she wanted to be with me, did absolutely everything right then just vanished. I walked past her yesterday and she didn't acknowledge my presence. That hurt so much

[@SincerelyDanielle974]

Honestly, it ain’t even just a feeling; it’s about the actions, right? Like, first off, he would pull these silent treatments, like I was some puppy meant to chase him affection down the block just because he decided to go on a personal mute. And that’s not normal, like, how can you be in a relationship and not communicate when things get tough? It's almost as if he took my love for granted and decided he could manipulate emotions, pulling back whenever he felt like he needed to get a rise outta me, making me question my worth.It’s wild how people can think they’re playing a game, and then it blows up in their face. He got mad at me for cutting him off, acting all self-righteous when the reality is he ghosted me first. How does that even make sense? Like, he served it up cold and expected me to sit there like some sad clown, waiting for him to decide I was worth acknowledging again. He thought he could dish it out but couldn’t handle the heat when it came back around, being a total hypocrite about the whole thing. It’s like he wanted to control how I reacted, like I wasn’t allowed my own feelings. You know some people can’t take what they dish out, and I guess he is one of ‘em.That’s the thing-a real one knows that communication is the foundation of any relationship. Without that it wont last or work out. Like, if he had just said, “Yo, I need some space” or “This ain’t working for me,” then at least I wouldn’t feel like a damn fool chasing somebody who didn’t want to be caught. He could’ve come straight, told me if I wasn’t doing it for him in bed or whatever-anything! I would’ve respected him more for it than the way he just up and ghosted me like it was some soap opera drama. He treated me like a straight-up donkey, fooling himself into thinking I was some bum with no dignity, just laying down waiting for him to come back. And I ain’t nobody’s punk; I know my worth. It’s emotional manipulation 101. People who play those games want to feel power; they want you to beg, to need them. They think they’re hot stuff being all vague and mysterious, but really, they’re just showing how immature they are. We got a backbone; that’s why we see through it. But it’s all about emotional intelligence, knowing that there’s a right way to communicate our needs and a wrong way.

[@ashleysalazar2012]

What is so baffling about someone not liking you? Stop dating these men that go out with just anyone. I swear this was not a thing years ago. If you were ghosted years ago it happened once and it was strange, it wasn't a normal thing.

[@bahara2]

A very important topic. And i loved the way Mel responded and controlled the situation.

[@Jboog742]

Look for the message, that was learned from the experience. This is key!

[@MrEOM41]

Happened to me this week … was totally unprepared and hurt 😔

[@BeeBeeBae]

He made me feel valuable for the first time in my life. He picked me up out of a dark hole. Only to smash me down into a million pieces. And he didn’t have to do anything but walk away. And now I’m left alone trying to put myself back together…

[@renticat]

I feel the ame bee.. Are you up for talk? I wish i could talk to someone rn

[@yasminemaldonado2136]

it’s funny cause everything was going good and just stopped texting back and i’ve known him since we were kids, and yet he still follows me on social media and watches all my stories on instagram and everything. it’s just all very confusing to me.

[@jayfoolyard571]

Ignoring red flags will cost You later plus it’s the same reason it ends !

[@user-qy4um6zi1s]

My son is my ghoster and my first red flag was his father who turned out to be a narcissist. My second red flag was morning sickness ... morning, noon and night for the whole 9 months of the pregnancy. He was a charming baby, charming child and a charming man. And a narcissist.

[@alonzozovillafranco491]

The last time anyone ever ghosted me was when I saw them out of the blue after almost 5 years. Only for her to just ghost me after 3 months is just ridiculous, idk why people bring you back into their life if they’re just gonna abandon you and just expect you to take it

[@kalilavalezina]

Attachment theory has helped me to understand my romantic choices so much better. I imagine it could help this woman as well.

[@hodell82]

Great response. I am learning that from every bad experience I have, the most important question I need to ask is - what did I learn? From there, the most important task is to APPLY what I've learned.

[@lsls-lb7qv]

Yep implement the learned lesson

[@emmaacosta8679]

To not trust men so easily. Actions speak louder than words and mirror their behavior. He has been blocked and will stay blocked ! Over w the games!

[@fortminorproject]

Needed to hear this . I hate when it happens all the time it seems that's what makes it harder to move on .

[@Crusaderverse]

i had a good relationship, no red flags or anything. Then all of a sudden, they just ghosted me-

[@sherika1977]

You can’t make or buy someone’s love.

[@AlexMakarowski]

This can be applied to friends who just leave you.

[@amygerstle2037]

Thanks for doing a video about ghosting. It is quite painful. Especially when it is a back and forth, push pull then nothing 💔

[@healing7721]

I understand her pain i went trough that and he hurt so bad i was in pain for 2 years thank you for this show and message

[@johntomlinson6849]

I'm being badly ghosted by a friend at the moment who I've known for 32 years. We are almost at crisis point and the final break is imminent. It's the rejection that hurts the most - the message that's being sent that you don't count one iota. Yes, there have been plenty of warning signs and I've pretty much ignored them all. I'm actually having to move house to get away from the hurt and a feeling of shame.

[@ikr2377]

Cool how you validated her pain and gave independent advice

[@poetessbritt]

i get it..let's look at the "message" and the "silver-lining"...let's "do better next time". it is all gussied up victim blaming though, and the pool is TAINTED. how many times do i have to put my heart on the line as a woman, and ultimately be blamed bc i gave someone a chance??

[@hughrrrr]

She said "control" over and over. She knew what it was about.

[@AnafA]

Thank you so much for this, I needed it so bad. I was ghosted randomly 5 days ago. I'm a person with BPD, so... I felt like my world was ending, but I'm in the process of accepting the situation.

[@jaymitaylor9937]

She’s so beautiful , I definitely know this feeling ! He sounds like a narcissist my ex was literally the same way . I left him the first time after he cheated on me he came back saying how much he missed me and how he was “so stupid” for hurting me . Then I fell for the trap I let him back in , forgave him and made it clear to him that just because I forgave him that doesn’t mean we have to be in contact all the time . He kept pushing communication and I had to start distancing myself because he clearly wasn’t getting the message at all . I soon became very sick and because I told him we can talk here and there whenever if he needed me to be there for him i would be there but that’s it only if there’s something wrong kind of similar to like co parenting relationship if there isn’t something wrong involving the kids then there shouldn’t be any contact . Once I was sick I decided to text him and let him know and when I did his response was very nonchalant because he was basically still mad that I had boundaries and wasn’t talking to him everyday like he wanted . This caused him to give an entitled and insensitive response . He said I would have to see you in person, not I’m sorry you are feeling sick , not I’m concerned for you , nothing . That was the first red flag I Ignored . He proceeded to agree to a day and plan to come visit me when the day came he was no where to be found . He completely ghosted me and I gave it a couple of days before I completely just blocked him . It was the highest level of disrespect I’ve never felt that low in my life .

[@timothycorless7286]

Bet you won't admit you've ghosted.

[@jaymitaylor9937]

@@timothycorless7286 what are you even talking about ? I just did you sound slow lol

[@Melody9616]

You basicly told him to stay out of your life and pushed him away. What did you expect? That he'll come running the one time it is convenient to you? (Don't get me wrong he cheated etc.) still his behavior is congruent. Of course he is offended and what sense would it make to meetup anyway?

[@amelittaberretta9109]

Yes, red flags. Disrespect, ignored warning sign by my body.

[@tansley67]

She's right on point as always. 🤗😃 I'm so glad I found this video especially the part about a message in the mess.

[@carmelcapricorn7701]

When a person leaves. The 🚪 is closed. U exited. Bye. Next.

[@kryssioss]

My dear girl I can Understand sour pain soooooo much and the same time im happy the person did what he did because he did u a favor of showing you the ugly truth and u got off that person, do never accept this behavior just cut off and enjoy your life u deserve better things than this remember that always!

[@davidjackson7281]

Perhaps it is strategically better to preemptively ghost.

[@CaraVinh]

This is what happen to me rn, and its been almost 2 months

[@kensingtonXY]

I love your Content, Mel Robbins! 👍❤ Greetings from Germany! 🌻

[@roborob4296]

so nice to see this happens to women too because as a guy who has been ghosted without warning like 50 times. like things go from amazingly great to just not existing. feel like ghosting happens more often to men because women have so many more potential partners while men have to work their butts off to try and get a woman interested and keep her interested. women just have to show up

[@amymalina5073]

Mel is SO right on.

[@user-hw7mr8th9w]

Sometimes one eventually realizes you are not really loved and wonder if you were even liked in the first place e or just used. I think the red flags are there but your heart tries to hang on cause you love the person so much that you won't admit to yourself that they don't have the same feelings for you. You eventually take the cue and step out of the equation and that is not ghosting but a way of protecting your heart from further hurt. 😮

[@Jazz-if6gk]

A guy ghosted me he would text me. And then ghost me then he came back again after 7 months. And he texted me but now i ghosted him. I came to the conclusion that maybe no body wanted him and that maybe his bipolar.

[@77Creation]

It’s insane but typical of folks to invoke God when they do some selfish, cruel thing to others for personal gain.

[@pattimlareau]

If for real, God would’ve wanted him to get acompassion, “man up” and be a decent husband to her. The guy’s puke!

[@appsawcee]

Ghoster here. We do it because we're scared in most cases. For me its that I'm scared of being abandoned so I abandon first 😭😭

[@appsawcee]

Like I'd always overthink about whether my "friends" hate me or not. So I'd ask "Do you hate me" and they'd say "NOO I COULD NEVER" but ofc they Could be lying. So instead of overthinking it I just throw the problem away and regret it Don't be like me

[@doglover5519]

You should just tell someone the truth! I would have respect for him if he told me that instead of saying nothing!!!

[@KelzBernard]

My fiancé of 3 YEARS just disappeared and won’t give me an explanation of what is going on this week. I’m extremely devastated, very hurt, and I am very angry. I just want to find a woman who will love me for me! I’ve gone through so much hell with this woman. I’m so furious and I don’t know what to do. She has left me with nowhere to live, and nowhere to go. I feel like I deserve to die because I must be a horrible person to be cast into the streets like garbage.

[@zacfromArkansas]

How are you doing now, man? I’m going through this right now.

[@ScissorN]

I hope you are ok and everything worked out in your favour eventually

[@moniquehartman9282]

Not as simple as that sound byte. Not a single red flag in my case. In fact, only green flags. Ghosted 3 days before Xmas. Still trying to process/understand. Ghosting is not a simple issue that can be resolved in a couple of minutes. I wish there were less simplistic dismissive commentary on this issue. I still want to believe my ghoster is a good person and believe in him, whilst figuring out how to let go healthily. This topic needs more attention. ‘Not good enough’ and ‘get over it’ is not definitive advice and it doesn’t help when you’re in the quagmire. Full deep dive podcast with men and women’s perspectives needed on this. It’s become an accepted social norm that is disgusting and destructive and we need to understand it better. Blaming SM & dating apps is also not the answer when the majority of men in my experience are over 40 and not not of the digital age. This needs to be explored. It’s so damaging and people don’t seem to realise the damage they’re doing or have done? It’s bizarre how many people think going silent with someone you’ve been intimate with is ok?!

[@realSimoneCherie]

IT IS out of your control though, LIFE is out of your control.

[@clar331]

I understand but what is in your control are chances you give someone , if they keep at it, it's time to drop them

[@AshwiniBhaskarPurple]

The best video I've watched on ghosting ❤️ simple and neat and empathetic ❤️

[@nuriaalvarez6244]

Don't cry, please.

[@aidenzae2845]

some people are just born cruel. ive been in ldr with this girl for 3 months. shes so sweet, the best ive had but i think shes bipolar becuz one day shes sweet like honey, the next day shes evil like she purposely picking fights for no reason, loves to see me cry and in anger, silent treatment, name calling, ghosted and block me for several days then call again ans says she miss me. she did all of these things and i still (not to toot my own horn) treat her like a princess. like am i stupid? i cant help it. i love her unconditionally but my body and mind is tired from all this mental abuse. how do i ever move on?

[@prernabhuwania1134]

Yes, u cn baby...bczz I did, ❤

[@terrycroker7815]

Cancers are good at ghosting ..be aware . they are sweet but can be very mean and just ...leave . no remorse .

[@Dancediva240]

nonsense. I'm a cancer and I have never done that. Unless the person asked for it.

[@almedogjurgji]

Cancers don’t ever leave without a valid reason, and it often happens after a lot of times of forgiving someone or overlooking their bad behavior towards you. Cancers tend to forgive but they never forget, and when they decide it’s over, that’s for real and there’s no way back

[@pkilli1977]

Watch out with the red flags don't ignore it

[@GHO5tMod3]

Sometimes rejection is projection take a look at the news from time to time ❤