Iliza Shlesinger - Breakups - Just For Laughs comedy

#IlizaShlesinger explains how girls are always keeping tabs on their guys and then reveals her fantasy breakup scenario.
#IlizaShlesingerStandUp from the #JustForLaughs Festival in 2014.
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[@meowmeow7900]

Women plan break-ups with guys that they do not even date in the first place

[@corlfranco9371]

some people just hear what they want to hear and especulate too much.

[@executiveorder7146]

Oh wooohmen will break up with you over nothing and if her friends or something says ohh he is ugly or broke or they want them yea the friends will do that they will get the wooohmen to brake up so they can date them and its usually the one who you go to to complain about how crazy the women is

[@linaride]

I don't speak for everyone, but I totally do this.

[@meowmeow7900]

@@linaride Granted its a bit of humor but Ive dealt with women who looked for things about me they didn't like, when they liked me. Then had a second person tell me how I'd messed up or how they'd used to like me until they found something they didn't like but never got to know me and the good with it. Looked for why I wasn't good enough instead of trying to justify their feelings. It gave me perspective on how to prevent some women from ruining their own relationship with people I know. Sadly sometimes our own fears can prevent us from good things and it seems many women I've come across need a secondary opinion of support outside their relationship. Some guys/girls have good friends that make their relationships better, and some people have people who help ruin them. Quite unfortunate. Good luck

[@executiveorder7146]

@@meowmeow7900 oh you want funny ill give you funny bc women will run to one man after the other and always think the next one will be better and insted of realising they are on a clock they think at any age men will find them hot and yea everyone goes threw ruff parts so will the next guy until the women gets to old and just has cats and yea I've dated all kinds and the story's i can tell yea even widows with the shrine of the dead husband and his stuff still everywhere and every women will go man after man always blaming them and yea its so funny bc the grass is not always greener

[@basedbuddha777]

I would laugh... but I’m too traumatized by how true this is.

[@lynette599]

Hahahaha

[@ayeapprove]

It takes years to heal after you've gone through a breakup with that kind of a woman

[@basedbuddha777]

ayeapprove yeah. Fear, questioning sanity, suicidal thoughts, no self esteem... it’s like a man going up and joking about how there are men who beat women.

[@christinat2398]

@@basedbuddha777 dumping a man and beating a woman are 2 completely different things but go off i guess

[@basedbuddha777]

Christina T no, emotionally abusing a man while you’re with them is akin to beating them. The dumping part is besides the point. This joke has very little to do with the break up and everything to do with manipulation and insanity. You dumbass.

[@1anonymousb]

This puts getting yelled at for sleeping the wrong way in context

[@reading_magic]

Or for something you did in my dream that I'm now mad at the you about

[@scotthull2141]

dag, my Ex wife did that...why the F? me: [Sunday] takes a couple shots of Jim Beam, puts golf on TV, takes nap....😴 she [arrives home from shopping trip having selfishly bought nothing but snacks, shampoo, make up...and Shouts!]: "ARE YOU SLEEPING??"!! me: ~ 😵 ~ ...not anymore

[@SkylaSternenlocke]

@@scotthull2141 lies! If it was Sunday your wife couldn't go on a shopping trip.

[@b.benjamineriksson6030]

Or getting yelled at for not reacting the way she imagined you would react watching a movie scene she really liked.

[@kedabro1957]

@@scotthull2141 Translation: "How DARE you find contentment without me instead of needily awaiting my return!"

[@allenmikey]

This bit as her closer in one of her specials was awesome. She had the time to draw it out, add more things and at the very end when she hits you with the "What's my middle name?" it's a bigger surprise.

[@eriklehnsherr5784]

Good for you! Here's your cookie... 💩

[@BigTiddyTheRapper]

reminds me of the "so i kicked her in the pussy" punchline from the dave chappelle special

[@kedabro1957]

Ignore Erik Lehnsherr. I liked hearing your story.

[@babasemka]

"Unfortunately" I've been watching too much Louis CK to know it was coming.

[@drystkrab269]

Which special, plz?

[@FruitCapoeira]

She has a great voice, she'd be a wonderful voice actor

[@harpoon_bakery162]

totally agree. she's just not such a great comedienne

[@infinitysims7395]

Harpoon_Bakery- yes she is!! She’s hilarious

[@vyuutuube]

Yeah she's in Frozen 3 and Ice Age 6.

[@Ethan-wi6ji]

Fuck off

[@richasarkar5825]

ikr!! also is that taemin lol

[@AthelasAudio]

With the way she growls she could be the frontman for a metal band. Love her humor!

[@therealtijuanaman]

Beta boi

[@ItsAsparageese]

@@therealtijuanaman Wahhh someone said something nice better cry about it that's like soooooo alpha you're so cool can I have your autograph do you feel secure yet

[@jthegreatfull7643]

"I am telling you now, that I will cry then."

[@MrVoetj]

That screech on 3:39 is real talent😂😂

[@alexleech4490]

I was looking for zombies...

[@savannahroseglembin]

This is so funny! The audience doesn’t deserve her

[@crayothewarrior7713]

Mekel Reen are you saying the men didn’t laugh because the men are bitches or the women are bitches?

[@mekelreen9869]

Blessed CrayoTheWarrior the women.

[@aaronsmith1023]

@John Doe don't ever fuckin give her such a great title. It'll always be Susan Ashworth.

[@braindeadbogan9272]

Her material isn't too bad. But her deliverance is kind of cringy and she doesn't really connect with the whole audience. Just your average female comedian, tbh. Good effort, though.

[@GwenythD]

@@crayothewarrior7713 I think he's saying we're all bitches. Which is true.

[@Dr_Monitor]

*You chose not to ask Iliza her middle name... *Iliza will remember that...

[@tanfeezahmed1811]

such a underrated comment XD

[@danbrown1344]

This was scarier than anything I saw in the entire month of October, and I witnessed a car accident.

[@billzkhan100]

Hahhahahaha...yeah bruh.. same here...😥😥😥😓😓😓😒😒🤐🤐🤐🤐😂😂

[@Npc2thousand]

(-_-

[@techvision7038]

I saw her perform live @ comedy club LA march 2017. Someone coughed and she stopped her bit/turned to the area of the audience and said "stop breathing". It was funny but scary lol

[@stephanieann6622]

I watched a autopsy performed where they opened the skull with a hammer and chisel and not a electric bone saw, making the body move like it was alive, yet this was more disturbing.

[@TheLadyDelirium]

@@stephanieann6622 Thank you for that delightful imagery. 😲😅

[@rachitv2003]

Her version of a dude sounds like Chris D'Elia

[@guysrealma4063]

Rachit Verma they are soulmates

[@marcoangara1021]

Rachit Verma she’s the female chris d’elia haha

[@audreykoskei4072]

Omg, Henderson.

[@branon6565]

Rachit Verma ....I was thinkin "who the hell does she sound like?!" And you're right, it is Chris D'Elia....

[@pelvis_assley]

She is the Megan dating Andre in Key&Peele sketches

[@tinachristine4573]

Megan! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 she was a right nightmare. Always getting Andre into fights

[@stephanieann6622]

Oh my god yes

[@Vincisomething]

Meegan!

[@Adrianlovesmusic]

Kremlin Bot#33 so random hahaha nice

[@Haflpadaja]

Omg yes 😂😂

[@ha9297]

Her intelligence is on another level apart from her superb comedic delivery

[@mikedlamini1891]

Some conversations are a break up trap 😅

[@youtubevoice1050]

"Of course I know your middle name: It's ... "crazy" ..."

[@kamikaze1827]

Use single quotes for quoting things within quotations!

[@SteveSmith-os5bs]

I was married for over 25 years and she is so right it’s scary.

[@ameliae3709]

Oh what happened

[@SteveSmith-os5bs]

Amelia Emmerson my wife was very much like this and much of her routine was straight out of my marriage. My wife was Bipolar also. There were a lot times I never knew who I was coming home the happy loving wife or the anger evil one. My wife was also diabetic and subject to swings. So my marriage was very much. Like a roller coaster. About 2 years ago my wife passed away unexpectedly due to her diabetes and the grief experienced I experienced nearly killed me because as difficult as my marriage was, I do love my wife and always will.

[@ameliae3709]

Steve Smith thats a real bummer hang in there

[@thelastmanonearth2631]

She's really refined her physical style. Master of the craft.

[@Kknewkles]

Also, the way she lines up her shoulders sometimes looks like she shoots rifles a lot :D

[@sorrymrgoogle2601]

I was getting lots of dane cook and a bit of pablo francisco in there.

[@wethdtdi]

I love the hadouken at the end...

[@qtipmotha]

It was either that or some dragon ball z shit. Either way I fucking died. LMAO

[@Blullaby]

I thought it was a kamehameha but that was a surprising move regardless ^^

[@tonyclifton2172]

Looked like a move by Chun Li from Capcom V. marvel 1999 actually

[@babasemka]

@@qtipmotha It's a Hadouken, don't worry ;)

[@reagan3846]

Thank you for this tedtalk Its 100% true loooolllll

[@klaasinsession]

The other side of the Dane Cook argument LOL!

[@timmmychanga]

Hahahahahahaha

[@Trazyn_the_Infinite_40K]

No. Bill Burr would be better than that joke stealing hack.

[@stefanellasizzarettia8417]

Omg i was thinking that!!! Her body language and everything

[@kellyv6075]

Btw if anyone is starting a fight and making you feel like you started it, that's mental abuse.

[@simonrodriguez4685]

Or business as usual...

[@shadowbanned15]

Narc 101 - run like sh......

[@jaypay8954]

So true its abuse! Someone did that to me and it was crazy. They confessed down the road and said "yea I knew I was wrong but I wanted to get you to doubt yourself and make you think you were the wrong one" talk about a effed up manipulative person.

[@mk-ou5si]

@@jaypay8954 please tell me you cussed them out and told them to get fucked with a cactus.

[@dzzzzzt]

Benefit of the doubt, benefit of the doubt, etc.. but then she dropped that "women have the power to make conflict where there was none" bit and I lost it and gave in. And then that ending ... She's good.

[@TidalWavesLion]

I'm a woman and I'm amazed that this is a thing we can do. I've seen my mother do this just for kicks and giggles, I've seen girls I grew up with do this. It scares me.

[@mk-ou5si]

@@TidalWavesLion what should we do? We can't always give in just to keep the peace.

[@TidalWavesLion]

@@mk-ou5si I'm not saying we should always keep the peace. I'm just saying I've seen women pick fights out of boredom sometimes

[@mk-ou5si]

@@TidalWavesLion no. I ask this as a man. What should we do when they wanna fight over nothing? I feel offended when they do that. Like all my attempts to keep peace go in vain.

[@susans654]

Yes, "Breaking Bad" is required viewing.

[@sunfrostsanger39]

That was actual gold

[@henryhammond7393]

‘As a female you have this magical innate ability to create conflict where previously there was none.’ I feel validated.

[@bencole5793]

The breakup list points have no expiration date either. One break up an ex nailed me with something that had happened 3 years earlier that she didn't even say anything about at the time.

[@haileylong5739]

With all her little noises and expressions she's like the female version of Jim Carrey 😂🤣

[@humixmusic4lyf]

That was the best!! I love it when a beginning line does a full circle and closes the joke 👌🏼😂 beautifully done. On another note a generally don’t find a lot of female comics funny but she actually is. I wonder why. 🤔

[@vuk7760]

3:39 that sound brought me to tears..

[@Makermook]

She skipped the part about getting pissed about stuff I did in *her* dream.

[@nikfury8]

😒Smh

[@sporvath]

Wow either a horrible crowd or the mic it's not picking up the laughs, this is a great stand up.

[@dirgramsey6132]

WatWarrior22 it could be that men have been telling the same joke since the late 90s and people already know it

[@reisekeller6859]

Truth, disguised as comedy!

[@sdsign4229]

I mean, is there ever good comedy with no truth?

[@Jahmier12bessant]

This the most true shit I ever heard 😂😂😂

[@Bizzitch3]

I like how she is not defensive or in denial in any way!

[@claretravels783]

I...am so attacked by how true this is 😩 this shit hurts! I had this exact middle name situation happen a YEAR AGO with a guy that is still. Bothering. Me. Jesus Christ.

[@karamzidan9860]

OMG , i guess it's true women/girls are really emotional and very moody , but it's not their fault it's just how the're brain are , just like us men have the sexual desire that control and dictates our behavior , feelings , and prespective

[@unfazedo]

@@karamzidan9860 You're controlled by your sexual desire? How weak and pathetic.

[@wccrispy]

Yeah, that dude probably makes it excuses for rapists.

[@wccrispy]

Clare, if he NEVER asked, yeah, he most likely was never that interested. I'm pretty sure I've intentionally not asked a reciprocal question on purpose, knowing it is a little off-putting but would return to the question later to show the person like hey, yeah, I'm actually interested and KNOW that I didn't ask earlier so I'm asking now.

[@crouchingwombathiddenquoll5641]

ClairBear do you sometimes argue over nothing ?

[@irvingramirez2335]

Man I wanna laugh cuz it’s funny but this makes me rethink my past love lives 😂😂😂💀💀💀

[@russmartin9549]

I love that goddamn exorcist voice and the goat is PRICELESS

[@chillywilly4014]

Exactly why I've been single for 26 years

[@frogers3]

It's just a relief to me to hear a girl finally admit that the crazy is real (and on purpose).

[@lambsauce8937]

not all women are like that

[@WatWarrior22]

@@lambsauce8937 STFU with that NAWALT shit

[@adityamakwana612]

yah this woman acts crazy

[@bensonblack8595]

I'm really starting to enjoy her life and how she sees it.

[@lindokuhleemmanuel2031]

I always learn new words when I listen to Iliza.

[@robfab5204]

I guess I should consider myself lucky and grateful that I have trouble with women? Hahaha

[@ipshita154]

She's hilarious. And I love all the different voices she does.

[@MayaState]

And this is her energy SOBER She'd drive me crazy in the first week of dating her

[@armandolira107]

Imagine he actually knew her middle name the whole time 🤣 like he found out in Facebook that's why he never asked.

[@didyouknowthat.channel]

I love this more than the original. You knew how it would end but the goat bleats combined with the fake crying was too hilarious to pass on 😂

[@kawaii_hawaii222]

She’s like the counterpart to Daniel sloss haha

[@netimarneto6473]

Schlesinger's comedy is just so fricken SMART which just makes her comedy even better.

[@AnnakiVEVO]

I saw the title I knew it was comedy and indeed she was hilarious but I've mostly clicked to LEARN

[@vaaniwarrier7356]

I come here once a week and just watch the ten seconds from 3:30 to 3:40. Always cracks me up.

[@danielkampf3732]

This was the first act I’ve seen with her and I love her humor!! Can watch her on and on

[@casperchristensen8354]

Delivery kinda reminds me of Dane Cook.

[@luisago1]

I can't wait for her new Netflix special!! She's my favorite!!

[@SharonBurc]

luisago1 when does it come out?

[@luisago1]

@@SharonBurc Nov 19

[@ynot75319]

My favorite skit of Iliza’s !! BHAHAA

[@Woo88]

Lmfao this was perfect

[@zenia7267]

Did she really do a Kamehameha at the end of her joke to give it more emphasis?! What a legend! I love her!

[@Birodalom1]

No, it was a Hadoken.

[@Whackusbonk]

Literally just laughing my ass off while everyone else in my house is asleep😂

[@laminelson1818]

Somebody help me pick up my jaw from the floor.

[@floyddillonh]

I lost it in the first 10 seconds 😂😂😂 Rewatch it, guys lol

[@shay2218]

This checks out.

[@SuicideBunny6]

WHAT'S MY MIDDLE NAAAAAAMMMEE???

[@iliane0vono]

I don’t plan to be crazy, I’m just crazy. But LOVE her❤️❤️❤️

[@triple-n4439]

That Kamehameha in the end 😂

[@redpillpusher]

there's something about her style/writing that seems funny enough to listen to because it's funny to a certain level and you're waiting for the really funny punch lines but they never come.

[@fairy5668]

I know what you mean but I liked the middle name punchline at the end

[@vickshimmer]

I love a woman that can do a velociraptor screech 🥰

[@Raizay8723]

LMAO!!!! How did I not know hey before?! I just love her!

[@dreadhalor]

That final joke was so much funnier than I was ready for

[@simplyryu79]

the hadoken at the end stole the show! 🤣🤣

[@WatWarrior22]

Nope that was a kamehameha

[@marcrussell54]

I feel like someone around her is always watching Cartoon Network.

[@twilightgardenspresentatio6384]

Thank you for the list, mine is available upon request 😊

[@cherifinkbiner8393]

rolling on the floor howling with laughter~

[@owezantsi5326]

This a lousy crowd she was HILARIOUS

[@magpie.314]

A classic 😂👌🏽👌🏽

[@vanshitakalra1029]

The end, didn't see that one coming 😂

[@mckennadaley3793]

This isn't stand up comedy, it's just truth

[@TKDBoy1889]

A lot of the best comedy is really just social commentary presented in a humorous fashion, a way of of addressing topics that might be taboo in casual conversation.

[@aneta3098]

Ah! She did a Kamehameha at the end, an intellectual :)

[@stevehall383]

The easiest way to end a fight is to just ignore her, it drives them crazy.

[@SForte-cb3qw]

You tryin to get a brother killed, man.

[@Blullaby]

Everytime I read those comments, I keep wondering why on earth is my relationship flipped o.o... I hate unnecessary arguments, I'm quiet most of the times, and I'll definitely ignore him when he's acting crazy, and he will probably burn the house down one day ... Please send help 🤣

[@caseyingram1969]

She is absolutely the best. It's like I want to be her best friend. She's so right and doesn't give a fuck. I love it.

[@christinevella7332]

This look suites you the best !!!!!! Awesome show, you cracked me up 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@shawnmkandla7892]

10/10 😂😂😂😂😂

[@icanfartloud]

Do you ever get the feeling sometimes people laugh at stuff so others won't think they're too stupid to understand "why it's supposedly funny"? I get that vibe for a lot of her jokes.

[@mohanadenezi4758]

I get that vibe for almost all female comedians 😂😂

[@vedangarekar1390]

Catering to pseudo feminist types I guess

[@IROC400]

The twist is: he was the first one to ask what her middle name was, so he already knew.

[@gretaanne6403]

That Hadouken move at the end..!!!!!! xD

[@WheatSn4ckBread]

"how to be an abusive girlfriend"

[@thesamduffey]

She reminded me of Dane cook with her delivery

[@jambs04]

same here

[@manufran02]

Yup

[@SamSung-et9ql]

She kept it so real...🖒🖒🖒🖒🖒🖒🖒👏👏👏👏👏👏 finally a honest woman

[@mikebunner3498]

So many nuggets of truth in this video. That is why it is so FUNNY.

[@alyxskyler]

Lol she’s talking like all girls are this crazy. I’m sure a lot of girls or even most are somewhat crazy in someway but the things she is describing for herself is a whoooole new level

[@gmeister03]

This hurt. A lot

[@ALulzyApprentice]

Dayum! What a great callback. Stellar!

[@pouyamousavi3388]

I love the noises she makes 😂

[@snipexd4964]

I would be like "Iliza sweety your middle name is Vie" stop causing a scene and come inside.

[@danbrown1344]

Well, the proper response would be to go stay in a hotel then return later to collect your things if you don't have time to grab them on the way out. Then block her number.

[@Liv-or5ci]

“Stop causing a scene and come inside” oh you sweet summer child, she will flick you off in the most dramatic fashion she can while calling an Uber for 1

[@rajkrishan3092]

God she's good.... 🔥

[@captainbalu3589]

hahahahahah xD DAMN THAT PLOT KILLED ME!!!

[@jaredv5692]

I knew it! Thank you for confirming I'm not crazy

[@patrickp.1998]

Did she make a kamehameha? 😂👍 Absolutly a Keeper 😉

[@RachelAnnTaylor]

She reminds me a lot of Dane cook.

[@JustSuddenly]

We're not even in the same stratosphere. Haha. Soooo Goooooood...

[@rihabbarkal04]

The end was the best thing ever