Imposter Syndrome // On Guard Ep 3

[@_mels_]

I love how Amp had a little bit more of a role here as a sort of fifth co-host, which he takes on sometimes in previous salons, but here his perspective as a younger gay is really great as a sort of context for how the community feels from fresher eyes and how it's still evolving to this day!

[@rogper7039]

Me gustaría verlo también pumando un puro

[@stevenmarlborough]

As a young leather boy thank you! Sometimes I feel absolutely lost, or that I don’t belong. But this really opened my mind and changed my thinking.

[@fynntasticmovienight]

a new on guard episode means its time to roll a joint and listen to my daddies share some knowledge

[@AndyGarcia82]

This was one of the single most informative conversations I have ever had the pleasure of observing. I myself did not get involved in kink until I was already 34 years old. I will be 40 this summer and many young subs assume that I know everything about everything and I feel like I am just getting started. I am very honest about my experience but at the same time it’s incredibly difficult to find in person resources to learn more skills. And I am not in a rural area; I live in San Diego, California with a fairly large kink scene. I turn to content like this to help me be a better and more informed Dom. So thank you for this.

[@jacobbolduc9847]

That chicken story was hilarious!

[@jeremywhite6792]

I really loved this one and the knowledge that is shared is very appreciated and I’m honestly more comfortable going out to scenes in my local area. I would love to experience listening to this in person one day!

[@a.abarker8387]

oh my god graylin in the sponsor segment killed me XD

[@OnGuardCigarSalon]

Our poor Sponsor - some day we will get it right Leather Daddy Skin - bear with us

[@sallen9966]

I'm new to the scene and in my 30s. I appreciate this content so much! This episode was fantastic! Thank you guys so much!

[@AndrewJouan]

Really love these talks guys, I'm a late comer to being "Out Kink" and feeling so much better about myself since embracing the scene more honestly. Look forward to more videos.

[@Mondkreischer]

32:05 I really enjoyed this episonde so far. And what a coincidence - I have one person at work who behaves if they know everything. There are hints they mostly fake it and now you're talking about this. Makes things even more clear and I shouldn't drive myself crazy over that.

[@cdnsee3326]

What a great topic! When I go into kink spaces I often feel this way, because I don't think I'm kinky enough and I don't belong. However, after scenes I am often told that I did much more or went much further than the person had expected and that I sell myself short. It's not easy, but I'm working to combat that self doubt.

[@pupmadness]

I just found out this about these video from my bestie during Austin Kink Weekend. These has helped me learn and grow as I starting my journey in leather

[@rosestormwolf]

The episodes just keep getting better and better! It is honestly so fascinating to hear you all talk and share your perspectives on diverse topics. As someone whose pretty new to the kink scene, I could listen to you all talk for hours and hours.

[@CLARITYV5]

im a cis woman bisexual, but this makes sense. I dealt with imposter syndrome for awhile in the beginning of my kink lifestyle where i questioned am i real enough as other kinksters? I did later find out i was most defiantly a kinkster. In fact im a DDLG/ABDL Switch.

[@grell5108]

The knowledge that these guys have is amazing. I've learned more about my history binging this than ever before.

[@robertbender73]

Love the unfiltered and open conversation. Great to see multiple perspectives from a period I can related to. Keep it up

[@VieseDoe]

I really enjoy the energy in these videos. It makes it very comfortable to listen to.

[@gingermosscha]

These are so much fun. I've been involved with gay leather since the mid 80's and find one aspect of what we term Het leather odd, at least in the SE. They seem to be stuck on HILT, Honor, Integrity, Loyalty and Trust and downplay hot leather sex and fun. While HILT is part of our leather it is how we are expected act not what we focus on the most. To me, is is the biggest difference between gay and non-gay leather. I'd like to hear your thoughts

[@Tfichtenbaum]

I will always feel as an impostor ...I am a bisexual woman who is into leather and always had major respect for the Leathermen. Living in NYC I would always hang at the Eagle, so for me always going into a predominantly masculine space was always intimidating , but it was always respectful with me . I never viewed these men as a fetish but something I found attractive and alluring .....I still have this starting in the scene

[@bulletradio]

Graylin really got me not only laughing my ass off but also wanting to make leather gear for daddies. Maybe one day I'll do that

[@A.Huddy.2273]

You should! That would probably be a very appreciated niche

[@stratosphere94]

I just discovered this channel through Watts The Safeword. I watched all of the videos, one after the other. Can't wait for more ☺️

[@fett-slayer9145]

Omg I want a wax tutorial from him.....

[@itumotuba]

This was just so educational and enjoyable. I feel i am such a voyeur when it comes to the leather world because besides really experiencing it on the internet i have never really been exposed to it and that is where my imposter syndrom kicks in. I live in South Africa and i don't even think there is a kink scene really so these kind of platforms make me feel like I am living vicariously through all of your stories and thank you for that.

[@johnarmstrong3831]

As a mid/upper 40s gay man who has only recently (the last few years) learning about Daddy/Twink/Puppies/furies has been a steep learning curve. Thank goodness I have a few Puppies who have helped me to learn and experience the community. ❤I LOVE IT!❤ ❤I LOVE THIS CHANNEL!❤

[@poztatt]

Part of the gatekeeping, back in the day, was that to be a Real (term) meant there were a lot of benchmarks of performance, look and history within the community. I failed right off the bat. When I realized kink was a thing and where I fit into it... I came out at 30 as a Dom with no practical experience with any of the associated skills. Bondage, flogging, etc, etc. So a lot of people told me I'd not earned my space in community until I'd done my time. I quickly realized a LOT of people were under an impression that being said aloud showed itself to be ridiculous. Doms, for instance, aren't wholly formed with all the knowledge and experience necessary for the rules of the community. It's the "to get experience, have experience" moment, writ sexually. I loved this conversation as it hits at the myth that everyone has to know their kink right off and be able to perform it perfectly. Or that a kink has only one objective way to be expressed. These kinds of conversations are incredibly important, in general! Great show, gentlemen.

[@andrewgawlik4961]

I think the excessive imposter syndrome for me is intertwined with the difficulty I have socializing with people face to face due to my invisible disability. I've entered the scene 10 years ago, but usually felt like I've been on the outside looking in. Been afraid of approaching groups of people who I don't know that well. I can handle one on one conversations better and build upon them with other people. Though social cues are still difficult for me to comprehend. The identity masking really saps my energy. I don't feel like I am putting on a persona when I wear my gear. I do believe that it's a part of who I am. I definitely have been hoping to find an appropriate mentor... probably need someone to take me by the hand.... finding people with the appropriate level of patience might prove difficult. I haven't really felt comfortable topping for most kinks because I don't know what I am doing and then the memory issues.... maybe some of that might resolve later, but for now I'd say I'm significantly more bottom/sub. edit: I have been invited to s few play parties in the past but usually didn't get involved. Would it have been helpful to bring up my difficulties to the dungeon master?

[@ivorwm2291]

Thank you, Gentlemen. I am 68. I enjoyed this video. Y'all brought up some valid points and have helped me to be more open and welcoming to the constant changes. I wish y'all the best and thank you

[@InkArgent]

These round tables continue to be great. Thanks for the conversation!

[@AloysiaTea]

Loving the episode but I want to specifically compliment the cool flip the puppy did!! Awesome!!

[@heathermcdermid3673]

OMG would so love to be sitting with you guys and sipping wine. Many occasions to feel imposter syndrome but for very different reasons.

[@sandraodell4423]

Thank you all f or another wonderful video. Editing was spot on and the discussion was informed and lively.

[@fett-slayer9145]

As a chunky person I feel very wallflower in kink bcuz I understand I'm not everyone's cup of tea

[@Immifer]

Ah, what a mood

[@mistersantosnyc]

How I spot an actual impostor, & yous had a great example of the 24/7 submissive: how they relate to boundaries. Do they know how to collaborate? Are they interested in cultivating an experience? A fake is often gonna barrel through with their fantasy & want to use the other person to j/o.

[@maddoxglazer6822]

I would really love hearing yalls advice for young people on the dom side wanting to learn in the safest way possible Especially in places where kink isn't as open as SF

[@WaywardSoul85]

Ruin sales? Shoooot, I'd totally buy stretchy leather pants lol

[@leahhope536]

Why isn't there more episodes! It's bingeworthy af

[@OnGuardCigarSalon]

We've only just started. just you wait

[@deborahgraham4336]

Great talk. Thank you for the thought provoking questions.

[@fett-slayer9145]

Laughing so much love this

[@jasonclark2822]

Great episode. So many good things covered. There is some "Imposter Syndrome" in the community where people try to inject themselves as knowledgable, experienced, or trying to climb some kind of social ladder instead of just being themselves.

[@pupolliee]

really loved this episode, and completely agree about trusting your gut and instincts

[@InkArgent]

The young daddy pictures! 🤩

[@rogper7039]

Reyes fumadores de puros,,,,así me gusta,,,,saludos desde Cuba

[@LilPupKrauTow]

I am really digging this show, great episode. Thank you Gents!

[@danone2414]

this was so wholesome i loved it

[@luevelvet8910]

That hanging boots shirt that Race is wearing is awesome. Anyone know where I can find one for sale?

[@Eco_Hiko]

I recently got into this on Spotify and ended up binge listening to all the episodes on my commute home. I didn't think I'd like it at first but I've learnt a lot of new things (e.g cosplay kinksters are a thing.) and now I believe that Mr Kristopher is actually the funnier of the two What's the Safeword hosts. (Sorry Amp. You're still awesome though.) Thanks for making me laugh so much. I needed that.

[@BustersWorld]

Well done guys! I really enjoyed the conversation, and totally relate.

[@KnickKnackTwin]

I love this group so much

[@mfzn2928]

A great vid! like you guys i am of the age that did not have the internet. and pubs and bars along with p.o box number ad's, learning was by look and learn. i now am by age unable to enjoy the scene so in line with the traditions i learned and gained from am passing it forward, I am looking for a lad to pass my muir onto, the same way it came to me. thanks men a great video!

[@winfieldfelder771]

Very interesting session,but very necessary.My algorithm lead me to this,but I luv it...the older heads embracing the new with their experiences, plus they are ALL smoking Stogies.You have a ne subscriber. #KeepItLIT 🔥🔥💨💨💨

[@ericlindstrom8932]

There was a used clothes stores that sold leather and used jock straps. My friend used to buy his leather gear there because it was cheap(er) and he wanted to run for a title & get a Daddy he wanted. Leather label queens is olllllddd I knew so many leather label queens back in the day... My friend an older leather man would call them the "Nauga(hyde) Heard" or "Nauga's" meaning he considered them fake leather. He used to tell me that all leather men started off young and couldn't afford the expensive leather. As av 57 yo I can say that there is a lack of leather mentors because HIV?AIDs devestateed my generation and the one just before me. I xcan remeber being 21 and meeting a 32 yo was liike finding a unicorn. The Eagle was boyts in their 20's and then it jumped tp older leather men in their late 40's and 50's... their was very few generational in between.

[@jackiebebestlh7892]

LOVE LOVE LOVE Following y'all! @Graylin - Addt'l hint..... Wax Play using Electric Skillet! Set an actual temp, set the temp, wax Never goes 'Above' the temp. May lower a bit, but then heating element kinks on. Easy to use scoops, paint brushes, hands to apply. :)

[@endrbrielle5991]

Imposter syndrome!

[@FRDRC_2192]

I love watching this podcast, but I was just wondering...is this podcast is going to go on Spotify as well at some point?

[@OnGuardCigarSalon]

yes - working on that

[@FRDRC_2192]

@@OnGuardCigarSalon SWEET!

[@tonycollazorappo]

I started with the "Old Guard" Leathermen at age 16, legally age 18, lol. There are a lot of imposters today. I don't know if I can adapt to the newer Leathermen of today. I'm too set with the protocols, rules, and our history. I believe everything I've learned is for everybody's safety in mind during sexual play. I'm a 61yr old Master.

[@joecoloff4247]

Personal preference I don’t mix much leather and rubber mostly because I’ve had things happen

[@joecoloff4247]

In my 20s I looked 16, that was not fun

[@davidryan5607]

passing down of leather? how does it work?

[@Gamerkat10]

This is embarrassing, but I'm 25 and in Ohio, and I feel like I'm getting old with no experience.... How did you guys find a place to play? Im a sheltered closeted hick gay who's absolutely hopeless, please heeeelp

[@CLARITYV5]

Did you guys consider putting a leather pride flag behind you with the pride flag? I have one myself and it's amazing

[@fett-slayer9145]

6yrs l8r 💙

[@WolfGuard619]

I don't know if On Guard will ever have many guest hosts (since this is still a newer channel) , but I feel like someone that would be interesting to have would be- advocate, adult film actor & producer, educator Buck Angel. I, personally, feel like he might bring some interesting topics to an episode.

[@mistersantosnyc]

Please god no. He's mega terfy & not a good spokesman for trans men. We (hypothetically for On Guard, but more to the point, generally) need someone who has been specifically in the leather scene for a long time & does not oppose a whole sector of the trans population. Lots of people out there like that.

[@WolfGuard619]

@@mistersantosnyc honestly I didn't know much about Buck outside of when he was in a video by Aydian Dowling. I just saw what he fronted in that video. Which wasn't that. I thank you for bringing that to my attention. I SHOULDVE FOUND HIS TIKTOK FIRST. Because oof... I saw somethings after searching more

[@WolfGuard619]

I'm not on social media much outside of KZbin, twitch, and discord (if these are all considered social media). Though I have an inkling of sense that I may have heard of this stuff before from a Masc Enby friend of mine... I just have a goldfish brain sometimes.

[@mistersantosnyc]

@@WolfGuard619 he is handsome, charismatic & excellent at self promotion. It's very easy to hear him talk about his work & want him as a trans spokesperson, especially as he has such a following. To those folks I'd suggest doing the tiniest amount of digging.

[@wilhat]

Question are there teachers to teach all this ??

[@Ikirauta]

Graylin often comes across as condescending and that puts me off a bit. I feel like his remarks often disrupt the flow somehow. I absolutely love the discussions though, keep up the good work!

[@OnGuardCigarSalon]

Graylin is exactly who he should be and we love him dearly for it.

[@zacharycallaghan7016]

Agreed, the way he talks down about people is grossing me out

[@tonycollazorappo]

I usually feel out of place around any group under mid 50s or under 60s. I like very submissive men my age now and have even when I was 20. I don't like being called Daddy; "SIR" is my preference.

[@Truelib99Hobbes]

It's just cosplay? Why would anyone feel like an imposter? I've been in around the kink community for years and I've never met an actual legit biker, cop, cowboy, motorcycle cop or mechanic. It's all performative.

[@tonycollazorappo]

People don't want to learn the right ways and want to know everything in one minute. Dangerous in our type of play styles. Most don't like "safewords", bad move.

[@zacharycallaghan7016]

Wow you guys really proving the stereotype of old guard judginess at 40 minutes in damn. Why talk down about people at all?

[@zacharycallaghan7016]

Oh, at least Amp eventually says something about the gatekeeping 🤷🏻‍♂️

[@Burnstaruber]

I remember when you were cute, lol

[@funnymalerainbow9163]

Sussy baka episode

[@fett-slayer9145]

Weirdly idk what your real names would be i like Amp u look like an Amp and a Kristopher

[@balmoralpjk]

👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎 👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎