INFJ Friendship: INTJ vs ENFP

[@Cre-qi2xy]

ENFP's definitely look for authenticity, honesty and truth in people and close friendships. And we're always patient for people to be become their authentic selves around us and to delve in authentic, real, honest, meaningful conversations.

[@mimimo555]

Absolutely

[@meechipeachi]

INTJ here... I love my INFJ's .❤❤

[@clairebattersby6340]

I’m INFJ and my mum is ENFP plus all the stereotypes you mentioned. She’s the dreamer and I’m the realist, plus way more spiritual than I am. It’s interesting you both found friends who are the opposite of your upbringing. My mum raised me as a single parent and was my only constant in our nomad lifestyle and she’s been my best friend all my adult life! This was extra fun to listen to.

[@yasmindavidson5171]

I was listening to Richard Grannon recently. He was talking about the amount of people identifying as 'empaths' , you do tend to find this in 'spiritual communities ' a lot , not always, but there is a collective pride in this 'empathic ability ' to be very acutely tuned in and aware of the emotional temperature of others. I felt his response was very accurate, 'your not an empath, you most likely have borderline personality disorder and have been traumatised, which is why your hypervigilant and so aware of everyone else's emotions ' . I agree. Working in Psychiatry I think that was one of the most 'cut through the stuff, straight to the true likelihood ' things I've ever heard . I think he's also changed his mind on the M Briggs thing two. It was just interesting to me to hear his views on those who 'feel deeply '.. and also identify as empaths, all that expression can be exhausting for everyone else!

[@mimimo555]

Old ENFP here. Please remember that spiritual understanding is extremely difficult than religion. Often times, it can be almost the opposite in many, many ways. I've found that numerous life experiences (code for old) getting beat up and learning from it, can play a role in understanding the difference. For close intimate relationships, I've found as I've aged we do best when we choose from within our temperament, NF.

[@Gio-sx7kt]

Weird. I can relate to both of your experiences with these types and your personal attractions to them, but I have exactly one ENFP friend and one INTJ that I'm closest to. And I feel like I need the balance of both. And these have been the most stable and long lasting friendships that I've had.

[@FoxyGirlWonder]

My youngest daughters and I have an amazing relationship, they are and always have been very close. I'm an INFJ, and they're an INTJ and INFP. Interestingly, when they took a test for each other they both got ISFJ for the other!

[@Thereal_Vincii]

I really love it when y'all do videos together 😂❤️

[@isa-manuelaalbrecht2951]

As being an intj- sigma female I've had one of my oldest and best friend infj..I can relate to infp but it seems I'm bullying sometimes ..when they get too into tears..🤣😂😆😁😉🤭😏🤪

[@Gloria-xz7yk]

OMGOSH You guys speak my heart! I'm am 100% INFJ. I so identify with you both! Amazing to me but so helpful to find a community who I can relate to.

[@victoriousjoy9338]

As an enfp, I'm a constant fountain of ideas and feelings. In my life, I sorely need friends with a J. The J helps me focus and make decisions and reflects me in a way that helps me understand myself ( providing there is also an N in them)

[@laralebeu36]

As an ENFP I can say that spirituality without the proper epistemology as a foundation is just magical thinking and fantasizing. In the end, having no foundation insulates this belief structure/system to outside influences and keeps one easily stuck in one's Weltanschauung.

[@spacebar9733]

can someone dumb this down

[@TheDarkness1]

@@spacebar9733 Yes, they need an INFJ to bring them back down to earth, help them fix their space ship and check their oil.

[@tahneeleonard]

Perhaps there is a male/female element to it? i am a female infj and was typically in the “gifted” classes in school where i got along really well with a lot of the boys who, in hindsight, were surely INTJs. there’s a dorky/serious/intellectual/dark humour thing about them that i really gravitate towards. but i’ve only ever come across one female INTJ (who i did get along very well with). on the other hand, the majority of my friends now are ENFP (male and female). i have a bond with them where we almost even each other out - i am my silliest self around them but at the same time i seem to bring them down a notch energy wise to where we match perfectly. i made a list a while ago about people whose types i either knew for sure or suspected, and out of about 30 people, 18-20 were ENFP. i can pick them a mile off! 3 of my best friends and my husband are all that type. they are pretty much the only type i can be my true and authentic self with. i do love INTJs but i think they are a rarer type/mostly male, so i don’t come across them as often. so maybe the male/female thing is one of the reasons you two differ here?

[@Dzanarika1]

Glad to see you, Clay. Do not want this to come off weird, but you have been on my mind simply because I have not seen you in your best version lately. Whatever you are going through, I wish it gets resolved soon. Wish you lots of joyful, goofy and authentic moments whatever you may end up doing. And, just stay yourself, because at the end of the day, that is what really matters. Take care...

[@BC-pl3df]

For friends these two types are way way up there. They appreciate each other’s insights and keep each other’s minds stimulated at all times. They can teach each other so much that they might not learn in their own. I will caution though that INFJ/ENFP is too potent of a connection to just be friends unless very limited interaction. My best friend is an INTJ who I typed by just watching a video in the type and knowing him so well. I cover his near total blindspot when it comes to other people’s feelings (Fe) and he covers what I lack with Te.

[@abdulbasith1363]

As an male infj I could say iam high in rationality and would prefer thinking type freinds more and as a partner feeling type

[@wickysworld469]

You attracted who you are. Some part of ENFPs and INTJs are same both of you, such as feelings function, and Idea or thinking. You like ENFPs because they are accept the differences and respect of people without judging with their authentic. And for INTJs maybe you like them because it's good for you to not absorb their feelings and they are have a good idea and thought. For being spiritual, spiritual doesn't always meant religion, but it's about how you understand and handle life from your internal (mind and feelings) 😊 And for identity, everyone can be or do whatever, if it doesn't hurt anyone and if you are happy to do. We all can live together with peaceful by accepting the differences and respect for who they are. Be proud of who you are, it down matter what they think about you. You are the one who can create everything as you wish to. 🤍😊

[@mmwoodcockart]

(INFJ) Growing up, I always had a single "best" friend in every school grade, but those always diminished overtime - even the 2 friends I had throughtout high shcool and shortly after before attending college eventually went different ways. Now I have 3 close friends all befriended around 25 yrs (I'm now 30- they are the longest friendships I've had). Two of them are my coworkers, and one of them is an art school colleague. We were friends until life took a bad turn for me, and I essentially ghosted all my college friends. I ran into them at an art convention 4.5 years after graduation and got them a job in my department and have since reconnected/repaired our friendship. The other coworker ALSO went to the same art school but was one year behind us, so we never knew them until we worked together (crazy enough this other coworker and I share some STRANGE similarities- same hair color, eye color, first name, W-letter last name, left-handed, same art school, same print job at same offic supply company, similar first long-term toxic relationships). The art friend is INFJ, our other close friend/coworker is ENFP and my 3rd close friend is also an ENFP. My INFJ art friend is married to an ENFP. My 3 close friends and I are all bisexual and tend to be unconventional compared to the backgrounds/region we grew up in. So yes, I think the closest friends will often share close morals, ideals, and support your identity. Your close friends should always support you and build you up even if it comes with constructive criticism (these criticisms are out of love and protection, not degredation or disingenuous moulding). Any person who only recognizes what you can improve upon or only offers criticism without any positive affirmation is essentially saying that they do not recognize any inherent goodness or value in you (ie you're not good enough) - and project their value onto you in which you should become better. For an INFJ, that is detrimental in our paradox to people please AND be authentic. Be around friends who SUPPORT you and you can achieve both- by being yourself, you please those who love you for you. I think this SAME criteria for being a best friend can also apply to unhealthy traits/habits/lifestyles. Toxic people will surround themselves with toxic people (or perhaps those too vulnerable to object) which enables their bad choices/behaviors. If someone's lifestyle has negative consequences, but they don't want to change it, they will surroundt themselves with peope who won't object or criticize but instead indulge in the same lifestyle.

[@pjk25]

I at first interpreted to “affirmation” aspect of the best friend research just as a “being seen”. A manner of trust and empathy where if the friend says that they see themselves or their place in the world in a certain way, that is not denied in the friendship by the other person. Different personality types probably have tendencies to draw their identity from different realms, resulting in greater or lesser probabilities of conflict.

[@susancleaver2001]

I remember seeing a dip in activities with friends, but I started connecting with some new friends while following some new interests. After I saw the pattern, I realized that these friends were a better fit for me. I also have some good friends from earlier in my life that I still have good connections with, even though we live a little farther away from each other now. It's been interesting to look back over the years. Have any of you noticed such patterns?

[@kathleenrivard2881]

I like lexi’s point about reciprocating support of each other identities in a relationship. I think it’s interesting that in a “me first” relationship (in a 2 person relationship, for example) 1 person is putting themselves first and the other person is also putting themselves first. And in a the-other-first relationship 1 person is putting the other first and the second person is putting the other first. And in both approaches there is an equality in which person is being put first. I also think there is space for self sacrificing action in a me-first relationship. As long as there are boundaries.

[@kasra38s]

Great video! Loved hearing both your perspectives and then analyzing my own life with those lenses! Hope you’re doing great and to see more of you both soon! 😄❤️ (I really liked hearing both your opinions, It’s much more thought provoking imo to hear both of your perspectives and ideas, clashing with each other, roughing the edges off of the other’s or even just being the same!)

[@achtube85]

Great content, as always... plus... what a pleasant colour palette 💙💜💚

[@caddieohm7059]

How can a men made personality categorizations just be so accurate? i feel so sane and understood since I discovered I 'm an infj. P. S. A lot of my best contacts are enfp or infp. But I get annoyed by the hang to esoterica for the latter. My son is a logic and we get on just as well

[@musicchick581]

Yay! I love being an enfp but I feel so misunderstood much of the time. I feel like the infj I'm dating gets me. We are so similar in the things we do but we are also so different. We definitely compliment one another in so many ways. We both accept one another. We are also both older though so I am not the same as I was when I was younger. I've definitely toned down the enfp scattered stuff. I'm just more mature now. Older ENFP also tend to use Te and value rational thought more than when we are younger. We also like efficiency. We talk for hours and hours almost daily and never run out of things to talk about. He talks and opens up and is super vulnerable with me and has been since the beginning, which surprised me since he said he doesn't do that. Neither of us have had this kind of connection or intimacy before. It's amazing! I think also, you have to be careful in categorizing mbti with people with attachment issues or personality disorders. One ENFP is not the same as another. I've met many ENFP I wouldn't want to be around. Everyone is different. Also, I grew up with an intp brother, an estj father, and an isfj (but very rational) mother. I definitely do better now with nf types because I feel heard and understood and I need that deep connection and vulnerability in relationships.

[@mimimo555]

So true about older ENFPs developing their Te more. I've found that in my life.

[@sambaball3023]

Te and Se users are very impressionable.

[@laralebeu36]

Oh wow, I want to be friends with Lexy. The end message of grounding ENFPs is very intriguing. ^^

[@dag-nabbit]

Personal experience, you can absolutely focus on anyone or any trait that you wish to understand. Like choosing a book or a topic. Is your question more can you have a romantic relationship with those people that do not understand or experience the world as yourself? No. It will be fleeting and either lust [physical or mental] or a disaster that you learned or gleaned something from. Note, authentic is exhausting when everything is a why or how? I think this is the reason we mask or people please because 90% of the world does not have this need for answers and understanding. (Note-90% was pulled out of my ass and exaggerated for effect.)

[@nita-t]

Interesting. One of my best friends is an INTJ. I moved so don't see or talk with him much anymore. And currently, my closest friend is an ENFP! Go figure! 😊

[@cindyc]

Most of the people I was friends with in school were infps and intjs.

[@Fit_aszeus]

Welcome back. Nice to see bringing value back. Do Istj as well if u can. Thank tou

[@ΓεωργίαΧριστογιαννοπούλου]

Infj too, guys! Totally relatable stuff, maybe more with Lexy, though, seeing as my 4 best friends are enfp, infp and esfj( two of them). But... I'm also very fascinated by intjs. Haven't come across any of them yet, for some reason. Hope I will and see how it goes.

[@الحمدللهدائماوابدا-ط4ق]

I think if you really know what you need in life you can predict the people you are attracted to so maybe if your needs change the people that you want well change cuz when i was a teenager i was attracted to nt in general but the more i grow the more i am attracted to enfj or entp the people who are more like me.

[@juliadawndesigns4522]

I really enjoy these laid-back discussions! I am also very wary of the spiritual language often presented by ENFP's. I've experienced so much trauma from various spiritual ideologies that I no longer see them as harmless, unless they are examined carefully through rational reasoning.

[@pauladuncanadams1750]

Clay, unless you have a sponsor, and therefore a real obligation (not a personal commitment to your base, but a real obligation) I see no reason to put pressure on yourself to make a video. So, you haven't made one in awhile. Is that a reason to make one? I say, no big deal. You've got stuff going on. That's life. I would rather that you were inspired to make a video than to put pressure on yourself to make a video. All that pressure robs you of creativity akin to writer's block. Besides, I kinda feel bad that you are pushing yourself to make a video because we're sitting around the campfire awaiting your thoughts. We'll maybe that's too guru and not a fair comparison? But you get the idea. I like listening to your philosophy and INFJ discussion. I'm keeping my subscription. When you feel the spirit, inspiritu, I will gladly listen and maybe contribute. No hurries, no worries. Wishing you the best.

[@TheDarkness1]

Exactly. You can't force creativity. Quality is always better than quantity, well unless it's a quantity of quality. 😁

[@sofiareyaz6001]

Enjoyed this conversation 😌

[@elmehdisaniss2731]

Welcome back 😁👋❤️

[@sylviaowega3839]

Why is it that I constantly hear about the ENFP + INTJ romances/relationships, but almost never about the other pairs?

[@anju5124]

As an infj, I can say that most of the friends I have are enfjs.

[@tor_xo255]

Hi there I watched all your videos in regards to infj/infp etc and I’m still trying to figure out where exactly I place within the chart. I resonate with INFJ INFP ISFJ and ISFP and have tested for all of them. I know it’s not an easy thing to figure out without meeting someone in person but could you kindly provide some insight or your thoughts towards where I may stand in the Myers-Briggs classification. Thank you kindly!! My main characteristic is that I focus on the here and now. I rarely think about the future to be completely honest with you! I love a philosophical debate and I love to picture a future of harmony…Although I focus on more how I contribute to that being a better place rather than the negative impacts or all impacts of life as it will consume me (but I understand they are real events and I can go on passionately about my opinion if it’s asked of me). I am quiet but passionate but all things people and emotions. I am driven to help improve people at all costs. I have a tendency to “know many people first through sensory then through intuitive nature to form a big idea” and struggle to truly know myself (although clearly I’m working very hard on it now in my 30’s). I prefer some time alone to explore my own interests that are different from others, but I often feel most at peace with the closest people in my lives - just simply enjoying our time together, whether it’s together or together just doing our own thing. Balance is key. I don’t mind opening up to people, but I hold “all” of who I am to myself, and don’t often share everything with everyone. I pick the people who I share intimate details with and each person may know something different about me that I trust to share with them. I only fully open up when I feel understood and appreciate, When I feel Not judged and carefree. That’s when I shine my greatest. I live a very carefree life. But when it comes to plans and work, I prefer structure and details. I prefer plans to be made in advance so that I can prepare for them. If they are not planned, I tend to scramble to find the space to keep up with such an ever changing life. Lists and reminders keep me focused and on track. I remember birthday and events for the most part. I can be clumsy and forget items throughout the house, usually come to find them eventually. I place things in odd places totally forgetting or being so absent minded somewhere…lost in a discussion inside my mind. Yet will plan perfectly for an outing or work events. I spend a great amount of time in my head trying to figure out here and now problems in the real world or the people within my world*** most important! I love art, I sing, dance and love dramabut I don’t consume my life in it. I hate the idea that media and arts can consume MY life, but I don’t mind others enjoying all their interests at their fullest. My perfect match would be of likewise mind or someone who compliments my need to have a quiet and busy life, with my loved ones. I love the idea of harmony within my life and although I can debate opinions and thoughts, I’m not so interested in theory and concrete evidence as, “to each their own” holds a very spot in my heart. When making decision, I weigh everything facts, senses, intuition, and thinking then form a big idea from all the facts given to me. Usually ends in a “overall feeling intuitive decision”. Detail oriented at first, then big picture to end. I love to explore life. As I love to see the beauty in everything. I can see fine details and make it something beautiful inside my soul and I feel that strongly. I don’t believe that everything can be fixed but rather that we should just simply enjoy/accept life and the beauty within it. I have a tendency to take things personal, as so my close ones would say. Or, for me, it’s rather I’m standing up for my own personal right or value system I have put in place. If I don’t agree with what someone has said, I may speak up depending on the situation. Personally or not, I could care less to hear what others have to say about how to “improve my life”. My choices are mostly based on my life and the people very close within it. If I listen to others opinions on my life, they must first have a great understanding of ME and my personal value system. Okay thank you!! 🙂

[@graceinhisgrace695]

Siunds like an Infj !

[@romanlee8287]

Really enjoyed both your thoughts on this. - INTJ (Hey Clay, you still riding?!)

[@ClayArnall]

These days I’m just riding a downhill mountain bike, but having lots of fun on that :)

[@aniqaliq7291]

HI, I was classified as an INFJ, maybe its accurate becus i dont talk much becus i talk silently in my head by myself..basically i am talkative in my own world. i would like to ask this one question, do you guys can sense if someone's interested or in love with you? I met this guy, he didnt say he likes me but my intuition says he does...it was so intense, i can feel when he is around me and from the way he acted infront of me....i am confuse now

[@magicianstarot]

Have you encountered INFJ’s who are spiritual (non-Judea-Christian)

[@ericamonite3112]

I stoped going to church because of all the jugmental people I started going to the meeting house and I really like it I find it lines up with what Jesus says there non judgmental and very kind people they do a lot with the sick and homeless I never seen that in a regular institutional church institutional churches are like a jail cell the meeting house doesn't ask for tithes and offerings and some pastors abuse God's money when Jesus tells us to help those who have less then what we have amen

[@mamu7976]

How can INTJs work on emotional intelligence?

[@MaynardsSpaceship]

INFJ buddy chain! I'm in Michigan. Where are you from?

[@sylviaowega3839]

Same place as me, Ontario. Lol -INTP

[@caddieohm7059]

Will I change my personality type when I sort out my issues?

[@Lily-e8i2e]

No you just will be the healthy version !

[@anudeepshetty8231]

Clay gives more of INTJ vibes more than INFJ

[@kasra38s]

Maybe in this video he seems like it (which I think is because he’s a bit shy with you know… not having uploaded awhile and having his wife over) but not in general imo

[@sylviaowega3839]

Not in my view. He’s definitely an INFJ

[@romanlee8287]

Hey dude, hey dude - hot take on someone you don't know at all!

[@battysky6458]

Maybe, he has a lot of intj friends. That is the reason. Infj can absorb some behaviour from someone. We are a mirror type.

[@hayatm8351]

Do u believe in God or a higher supreme being???

[@NadaAlawadhi]

The majority of us are INFJs so we get the getting busy, and oh that “I have to make it big or won’t do anything at all” is a huge struggle of mine! But your sit downs are always great because we just enjoy the deep talk about the subject it doesn’t matter what subject and you do that pretty well :) 🤍