INFJ Secrets: The Art of Moving Slowly

[@lovewho]

This video was intended to be a one-off but might become a series exploring some of the unusual aspects of a type. There are certain things that emerge from a type's cognitive functions and psychological makeup but wouldn't be obvious from the usual type descriptions - these are the things I'd like to cover in this series. In this case, a video title on KZbin inspired it. I'll wait for similar inspiration for the rest of the episodes in this series. It might also be the case that types have multiple episodes ~ Nathan

[@anival9576]

I really liked your analogy of personality typing to stick figures, and I loved your point about being effectively disagreeable! 3:30 That point is so apt and has been a huge struggle for me. One has to be confident of one's own position to be that calm when saying "no," and I'm always questioning myself.

[@jhonathanskillet3758]

Congrats it's a good video something I noticed in my personal experience it's that infj then to absorb information and reach and chose principles. Once they realize that concepts and theory doesn't have to much value without action and learn how to act and aplly those principles it's when they start to getting to much better results. I'm still learning English btw xd

[@tlalei]

I really love the final frase "INFJ go slow but they make their moves count" validating this in this world of high speed actions but sometime meaningless it makes me feel understood. Thank you Nathan for going deeper 🤗

[@HarryPotterFreak623]

Definitely go for it! And be sure to subscribe--I mean percolate thoroughly when it comes to absorbing similar inspiration

[@mimimo555]

Please make more of these types of videos!!

[@VixeyTeh]

INFJs... slow to move in the physical world, internally making a billion observations, calculations and decisions at a million miles per zeptosecond, completely overthinking everything to the infinite degree.

[@jbrubin8274]

INFP here. Just wanted to say thanks, very well put. As we’re mentally exhausted too, but you guys are great. Frankly without your understanding and kindness shown to an equally misunderstood type. Half of us wouldn’t leave the house and I personally wouldn’t have a clue how make-up works without one of y’all. (Heck she still ‘needs to fix my own mess’. Truly one of the few people who know exactly how to kick us in the behind and we’ll happily take it, because later that day, we know you’ll jump into the same puddle we just did so we aren’t the only adults. You INFJs jump in without mocking why that just happened. It’s rare an a gift. 💯☀️✨ The usual reaction provokes the same reaction, concern for clothing. Which again, we’d never put together an outfit without you. 💯🙌💜☮️

[@lovewho]

"Zeptosecond", had to look this up. I'm going to use this randomly in conversation soon ~ Nathan

[@VixeyTeh]

@Love Who oh, please do, copiously. :)

[@dominikamestrovic7663]

Yup, we overthink ourselves into paralisys or devekop a conspiracy theory. 😁🤦‍♀️

[@user-ez5vq9fd2t]

We are slow moving in the physical but I wouldn't say we are quick in our mental world either. I attribute that more to Ne. We do overthink and overanalyze, which actually leads to the paralysis in the real world. But the calculations and observations happen mostly subconsciously and once we piece together a plan of action, we are confident and decisive in moving toward our goal.

[@CholeyC]

I literally wrote an entire essay in my head for 2 weeks, nothing on paper. 30 minutes before deadline, I typed as fast as I could as the words came flyng out of my head. Good essay submitted on time.

[@lovewho]

That is something I have wanted to mention in the videos about INFJs. I have witnessed - to the extent that an onlooker can witness such things - them map an entire project out in their head, then execute it very quickly at the last minute ~Nathan.

[@culturecoroner]

Wow. What?! I mean… I get the last minute part…. ( ENFP here)

[@rafagamer4718]

Yep. Thats me: Starts thinking>crentes an entre philosophy about it> forgets in 1 day>has to write about it>alzimer attacks

[@simongross3122]

That's how I write speeches, which I hate delivering.

[@orionsmintaka]

Oh! This reminded me of Einstein's quote: “If I had an hour to solve a problem I'd spend 55 minutes thinking about the problem and 5 minutes thinking about solutions.”

[@jacquia.7340]

The stubbing their toe because stuck in their head really did it for me🙌🙌🙌🙌💓😂 Truth🙏🤦‍♀️

[@aliciagc2539]

As an INFJ lawyer, the point about spending a lot of time analyzing and strategizing and then striking is so true. When I come to a solution about a problem, it seems so clear and so obvious, and I’m usually right. I don’t mind taking the time to figure things out because I’m confident I will make wise and reasoned decisions. This makes me feel quite satisfied with myself.

[@kyurei4478]

People should try it more often. It's okay to make mistakes but it's also good if you can avoid it and be right from the get go. Thing is most people usually doubt it's actually possible and advise you to do many tries. This is typically what INFJs will need to do less and will even appear as procrastinators in some situations because of that when it couldn't be further from the truth. You're just not here to see the storm in their head.

[@pragatisupakar4858]

INFJ is that person who has the world’s future figured out .. I had predicted a lot of things that are happening now .. but I still don’t know what I am doing next month.. they are just slow for themselves lol.

[@christopherqueen3194]

All very well said. As an INFJ I got really tired of people saying I’m slow, implying that I’m lazy. (And yes, I did have the feeling that my time thinking was laziness!) But over a period of years I watched the same people make errors in their actions which they had to go back and fix. And I decided that if I {might} move too slow, they might also move too quickly.

[@lovewho]

Well said, slowness and laziness are not the same thing, but annoyingly they can look the same to other people! ~ Nathan

[@ugbeneumari9370]

I'm suffering from that at this moment especially in my work, people make me feel down because at all times someone is is talking to me about being slow but then I get the work done anyway. I'm so tired with such complaints, I don't know what to do. I wish someday I can where I can have the time to do the things I love doing in my own way. You really got me with your comment

[@nyko9631]

@@ugbeneumari9370I hope your doing well

[@kyurei4478]

We work in the exact opposite way as Se doms so they'll be very quick to act but will tend to do more mistakes before doing things right. It's just a different approach in the end. The energy they spend doing, we spend it thinking.

[@kyurei4478]

@@lovewho The abstract realm will always be more subject to critics simply because it's not visible. That's a factual advantage Sensors will sadly always have over Intuitives. I would argue Intuitives can benefit from the potential though, no matter one chooses to ignore it.

[@greenman8]

Ordered Chaos: My 'J' makes me want to be tidy, but my lack of Se, forces me to pick my battles, often times forcing me to be less rigid, on the cleaning I want to take place.

[@Psychoanalyze]

As an INFJ who lives in intuition and logic, I can say I can think like ENTJ but lack the motivation to act like an ENTJ

[@lovewho]

You need to find yourself an ENTJ minion! ~ Nathan

[@Kat556]

Working with an ENTJ has been one of the most intense experiences I had, on the one hand he unlocked in me something I didnt think I had (focus on the most efficient and pragmatic approach regardless of how people feel about it) but on the other hand I always felt he would never see me as good enough, him being my supervisor. The socionics supersivor/supervisee role in our dynamic confirmed that feeling I had.. basically hated it but also loved it at the same time because around him I had become almost fearless.. so strange

[@kyurei4478]

Fi people can struggle to realize their standards are very personal and don't necessarely fit the majority. So their appreciation will tend to be very personal. That is more a Fe skill so better compare yourself to others even when an ENTJ doesn't give credit when it's due.

[@taketheredpill1452]

yeah, slower is better. I drive slow, I walk slow, I do everything slow. When someone tries to speed me up, I don't like them...

[@trinaq]

Thanks for another accurate video, Nathan. True to INFJ nature, I ponder every possible outcome internally prior to actually taking action. Slow and steady wins the race, you might even say.

[@lovewho]

That quote did cross my mind actually! ~ Nathan

[@r0bertlp]

I think this is the clue for growing up being INFJ. Taking action at least as much as planning and analyzing

[@kinghados]

Yes yes yes

[@mandydavis7150]

I feel about 90% certain that I am an intj but videos like this make me have doubt.

[@alexwallace6745]

Almost unsettlingly insightful 😄 Being an INFJ feels like always being an outlier, having to play a role to fit in, in social situations. So being 'understood' in this way by a video feels rather validating.

[@lovewho]

“Unsettlingly insightful” I couldn’t think of a better comment to receive ~ Nathan

[@christopherqueen3194]

Playing a role..... Absolutely. I’ve diligently learned the rules of social situations so that I can appear well. But it still feels very foreign to me most of the time. This is why I prefer to be alone most of the time.

[@user-qs3qf5lw9k]

@@lovewho Definitely unsettling. Nobody was supposed to look over in this corner and understand what they're seeing; thanks for the insights but look away and stop sharing our secrets!

[@amyblais7317]

This is really accurate. We’re very careful in the choices we make but once we go through everything and finally decide, then it’s really hard to stop us.

[@lovewho]

I think it can often seem passive to onlookers, but that's because they don't see the internal processes that are going on. Those are moving them forward in ways that haven't yet manifested themselves ~ Nathan

[@amyblais7317]

@@lovewho Definitely. We have to process so much and we’re trying to figure out the various ways that our decisions will impact ourselves, those around us, what the possible consequences are and ultimately, if it’s worth all of that. It’s a fun process though. I personally get a weird kick out of being under the radar, seemingly passive until it all falls into place and check mate.

[@ngeee10]

@Amy Blais dude my thinking pattern right there.

[@kyurei4478]

It really speaks for itself when you look at the cognitive stack (Ni > Fe > Ti > Se) if you take Se as the moment to act. INFJs will go this way starting from considering the abstract possibilities, then thinking about the emotional impact, then the better strategy to use according to that and finally action.

[@baileyab47]

I definitely get down on myself for not making things happen in my life as quickly as others. I never really realized the facet of the Ni-Se relationship which symbolizes the journey from vision to bringing that vision to reality. This video helped me have compassion and respect for myself that it takes time for the vision to become reality.

[@lovewho]

It's important to respect and come to terms with your own way of doing things. Without that, you'll constantly feel like you're a failure because you're measuring yourself by other people's standards, which won't work for you! ~ Nathan

[@kageyama-kun1744]

@@lovewho truly! Sometimes I find the societal standards do not line up with my thinking. I don't know if its Fi or Ti savior. I also think that it might not be a personality psychology thing. But to me, it all boils down to what is important to me, or what is sensible.

[@JungINFJ]

There was a proverb that I came across that says my overall mindset perfectly; "let all thy ways be established". That, I think, is the natural setting to INFJ. We have to see where something is going and understand the concept before moving or we feel blind. A good example I found was at the beginning of LOTR book 2 when Aragorn has to decide which option to choose. Gimli (an ISFP imo - Legolas ISTP both high Se users and Ne Polrs) says let's 'move we don't have time'. Aragorn says, we have to solve the riddle to know which way to go. Gimli says, what if there is no right way?...they proceed to bury Boromir ...Aragorn solves the riddle and moves "swiftly like a deer without tiering because his heart was clear"...THAT is how we operate. We don't move if we don't know which way to go. Once we do, we move the quickest without pause...so yeah, we take awhile, but once we do move, watch out. To us, it is worth understanding (Ni-Ti) before investing (Se) and looking like a blind fool or wasting movement/doubling back (doubling back and wasting time is better spent Fe-ing and having fun ;) i.e. no objective where we move to let our wheels turn. A car ride, a song, a coffee, random insights with no one to distract our important nothings which add up like a collage or big somthings that take time to digest without losing our sanity... ... ... .......................... Great Video, I enjoy your content.

[@lovewho]

Beautiful comment. You've just reminded me to revisit the 3hour LOTR lore video I was listening to whilst working. Well played ~ Nathan

[@ferdsmand_]

yes this rings true as an INFJ :)

[@TeraHammer]

The struggle of moving slowly is that the actions, which are perceived as less critical, that those actions pile up in our minds. Until that stack overflows and personal mini-burnouts occur. After which that stack is cleansed again and we can start freshly anew. How to minimize these small burnout loops is a life's journey for me.

[@lovewho]

That's a good point. You still have to be pragmatic and take action before you feel ready many times in life ~ Nathan

[@PENGUINGIRL1210]

This is very true. I haven’t thought of it until watching this video. I was always bothered by my mom to take action on my plans, but I only feel comfortable executing a plan once it is fully realized, in my opinion. I was a baker, so I liken my projects to baking bread. It takes a long time for it to proof before it can bake, and it has to be perfectly proofed, never underproofed, or else it won’t turn out right. I feel like the best time to finalize my plans and books are when they are fully finalized in themselves, which takes a long time to hit that standard because they have to pass tons of tests and hit tons of criteria first. Plus, I desire to know everything about something down to each molecule, and that takes a very very long time to get to know something that intimately. So yes, this makes a lot of sense

[@michaellinden8179]

"[...] figuring out what the heart of things actually is." - couldn't agree more!

[@amygirl9534]

Yes. Very slow. I think a lot of INFJs are also Highly Sensitive People. There is a lot of overlap. We are deep processors of all kinds of information and need more time for rest. It often makes me feel at a disadvantage in a really fast paced society that would rather I just hustle and get things done in a superficial way. I think a lot of INFJs are at great risk for burnout trying to conform to other’s wishes that aren’t compatible at all with our neurotype.

[@Ricky-es9vg]

I'm an INFJ college student that studies psychology and neuroscience; I think psychology was something that interested me as kid long before I had ever heard about the term - makes sense for the type.

[@pitulanek]

I had psychology as one of the subjects at uni and when the tutor asked us if we were interested in psychology at all, I thought 'can you not be?' I studied and work with languages, but sort of life-study psychology and sociology because that's just what my brain does whether I want it to or not.

[@maandaphophi4280]

ohhh wow I felt the ending statement, it is so true for me 😂😂 "If you are an INFJ and you have not subscribed, now its the time. I know u've been thinking, and percolating and strategizing"

[@purple_jams]

It's uncanny how accurately you managed to describe the INFJ, especially that last bit which made me laugh at myself. I like to organise yes but it shouldn't be too restrictive, so a to-do list which is basically just there for the checkbox ticking rather than any specific date/time deadline to do or complete that task. Anything too detailed is too much but anything too malleable is just as unsettling, makes me procrastinate. As I heard somewhere, we are organised procrastinators, we only stall things knowing we'll get them done anyway. Even my watch later playlist is organised according to what I want to watch first but later 😂

[@lovewho]

Now you’re making me re-examine my watch later playlist, unfavourably ~ Nathan

[@JokerCrowe]

I've recently found a way to describes Ni's more... subconscious aspect, but unfortunately I can't do it without a metaphor 😅. Imagine you have a machine, it's a big black cube that has a small opening. This machine can solve things for you, if you put a question into the machine it hum and then - after a while - it will spit out an answer , often the correct answer. The problem is, you don't know how the machine actually works - you can't see, or go, inside it - and you don't know how long it will take anytime you put something in, you just know that it works. That's what Ni feels like to me sometimes; I'll get a question or tasked to do something, and I won't immediately start. Instead, I'll put the question or task into the black cube in my head, and let it sit for a while. I might get some other things done, and then "DING", like a microwave, the black cube will provide an answer. I think We (INFJs) are slow in that we need to get the pieces in order first, we start at the most complicated end, and work backwards, and because we do this, we're good at organizing things well, but not under a time constraint. The black cube takes the time it needs, and since we don't know how long that will be, we don't do well with time limits. After all, there's no point in finding the answer _After_ the timer's up.

[@pitulanek]

I like it :) That's how it feels. I always know the answer will come, though it does come late at times... And there's certainly no telling how much time will be needed.

[@jojoqueenofswords932]

So true

[@lokoers]

Well said 👏🏽

[@janeofthejungle4]

INFJs are boring. Except to ourselves. And that’s perfectly fine with me. Thanks for this fairly accurate video about us being so slow… and, in my opinion, boring. We’re not all slow in all ways, btw. I often feel like I’m waiting on the rest of the humans to hurry up and finally catch up. Sometimes it’s sooo heartbreaking. In the meantime, I keep myself busy with my quirky things that all the other humans find boring, which is good because then they leave me alone so I can enjoy my quirky things, in peace.

[@user-of4kk4in9f]

i know INFJs move really slowly but INTJs have mastered the art of being perfectly still. They're statues.

[@SubtleAscension]

It's playing to one's strengths. It's kinda predictable given an INFJ's nature. We have low 'doing' energy (se), but lots of 'how does one thing influence another' energy (ni). Strategising an ideal way of tackling a set of problems is our comfort zone, as we do (ni) work with little / no effort. A good strategy minimises the amount of work (se) needed for success. Maximum effect for minimum exhaustion? Yes please!

[@The_Missus]

ENFJ here. Researching for my INFJ. I know I drive him crazy 😂😂❤️ Thanks for the informative video!

[@ClassicAudiobooksInspirations]

And this is why those who bully, manipulate or oppress an INFJ have it coming for them. Because the INFJ is too agreeable, they dont immediately stand up strongly for themselves, and, they want to avoid conflict. The bully then thinks they've won and continues with the path of the oppression, not realizing that internally, the INFJ is analyzing the bully to the letter. So much so that when they finally act, the bully will have no defense, except to play victim and tell all who will grant them an audience that the INFJ is the most evil creature they have ever met! 😂😂😂😂

[@lovewho]

Yeah, I wouldn’t want to be on the receiving end of a quietly vengeful INFJ ~ Nathan

[@ClassicAudiobooksInspirations]

@@AnyaAnnika67 True. This wouldn't be on the fly for the INFJ. In fact, it could even be days/months/years of the INFJ figuring out the patterns through the NI-pattern making system.

[@merlinsmustche]

INFJ here, absolutely spot on. I highly value this approach to life but its a blessing until it becomes a curse.

[@lovewho]

I think the curse comes in large part from other people judging the INFJ approach, which can be hard thing to deal with ~ Nathan

[@m2pozad]

Really relieved that someone points out that Ni is for getting to the reality of things, though it uses abstraction to do so. Most everyone talks as though Ni just marinates in the abstract as a preference to reality.

[@m2pozad]

@@AnyaAnnika67 Well alrighty then! Are you a grounded Ni user? But how could it be otherwise!? What would be the point if not to 'read between the lines' of the available information, in the absence of complete knowledge. After all, the whole universe operates on probabilities, not certainty.

[@MrArtod]

About todo list without timings is about me 🤣

[@lovewho]

It’s definitely a pattern I’ve noticed with INFJs. It’s cool to hear from real life examples of the types and see that these things resonate with them! ~ Nathan

[@RobShootPhotos]

Hmm...I know a couple INFJ and they always seem well put together. If allowed to take as long of time as they need to accomplish something, they can do amazing work. Let them know they are closing on a dead line and how it may affect other people by not making the deadline, their Fe springs into action. At times it seems to come at the cost of not looking as put together, looking a bit sloppy but they will get it done.

[@RosenRotInk]

Woah... a really great video and an important topic for me as an INFJ. You are right on all counts. I've always felt bad that I learn differently, work differently... generally approach things differently. To non-INFJs, my style may seem impulsive and chaotic... not very efficient... but I've learned over the last few years that my creative chaos and intuitive processing of my to-do lists is exactly how I get to my goals. I learn along the way, about life, people, my goals and the meaning behind all the things. It' doesn't come over night. This comes with long periods of learning and observation. I just don't have the energy to waste it on things that have no meaning to me. It took me a while to admit that and just do my thing because I know that in the end everything will come full circle and everything will flow into one another. So thanks for the reminder, that it is okay being me.

[@adverteasing]

I call this the Dr. Strange effect-14 million outcomes, but only 1 is right.

[@sad_doggo2504]

Wow, I'm early for once. The more I understand Ni, the more I gain a healthy appreciation and respect for it. It's not really my thing but I see people who use it (INFJ) getting things done in their own way once they hit their stride.

[@justsaynah5205]

"INFJs go slow, but they make their moves count." The ESTP and ENTJ around me thinks my "slowness" either funny or cute. As in how a turtle or a sloth can be cute. I've learned to appreciate it as I grew older because not allowing others to rush me to a conclusion or decision make sure I'd be 200% of whatever I'd do in the end, even if I'm still uncertain of what the results or consequences might be. I appreciate this channel so much. I'm still stump by how you understand INFJs so much. (And yes, it had taken me several vids to finally subscribe. 😂)

[@lovewho]

That's hilarious, the thought of being close with an ESTP and ENTJ whilst being an INFJ. That's quite the fascinating trio. I'm glad to hear that you finally subscribed! ~ Nathan

[@justsaynah5205]

Becoming mature helps. Being open to self-development helps. That way, the ENTJ had been able to adopt me as a "project" and the ESTP can remind me once in a while to drink water, eat, get some sunlight and talk to people.

[@swamplight79]

As an INFJ in the building trades--- and as to your last segment--- YES! I have a motto, "See the end from the beginning"... and if you truly see that end from the beginning of whatever you do and work towards it--- like in building a house--- things should and will get easier as that end draws closer. If you have done everything else according to plan--- the "trim-out" phase should usually seem almost effortless... Apply that to whatever

[@TimurMamatov]

Ah yes, an INFJ - the rarest type in real life, yet the most frequently met in comment sections of everything related to Jungian psychology and MBTI. I mean, look at me, I have absolutely zero Te, that’s why I’m trying to put together a well-thought comment on a subject that intrigues me, instead of doing a bunch of stuff that would supposedly help me gain more power, money, women and so on. I also cringe at ‘productivity gurus’ they don’t seem like real people to me sometimes haha. Going through life slowly and mindfully is the only way that works for me, too bad I’m self aware enough to let different people have different ways to reach success (and have different definitions of ‘success’) while most people I meet… well, they are not as accepting. Thanks for such a brilliant video, haven’t seen an accurate representation of different peculiarities of my type in a long time.

[@shannon1242]

Having a lot of tasks to organize and prioritize and then getting a bunch of new ones the next day? Yup, my job. I can handle it, but I want to have time to figure out how to solve the core issue rather than putting a bunch of bandaids on something with a broken foundation. The Ti makes me want to understand everything for my own reasons, but the people pleasing and worry about letting people down force me to move as fast as needed. Accurate breakdown.

[@lovewho]

I like that distinction you made between the "core" of a thing and the "bandaids". That's a really great way to explain it ~ Nathan

[@marcosm.5015]

thank you Natan, i always feel like i'm falling behind, comforting to watch this

[@lovewho]

People of the INFJ type might often have that feeling. In my view, although they might be slow starters, they'll eventually catch up (and even overtake) other people in the long run if they go about their process the right way ~ Nathan

[@_spineless]

I notice this trait of moving slowly yet surely in my daily life constantly. Socially, I plan out my greetings and potential responses and obsess over every possible expression and movement I will make in order to make someone see me how I want them to, or to get a specific response out of them. I tend to overthink In this aspect more often than not, but I find that I am an expert in manipulation because of it. When doing something such as a writing prompt, I tend to plan huge concepts and stories with specific ideas before doing anything, even if it is in a time constraint, because I tend to focus on larger-than-life aspects of the world and people. When I play videogames, I’ve noticed that I analyze every possible efficient move before I choose a way to go, and it sometimes makes me slower but oftentimes leads to greater reward in the end. I do the same thing when I move around in real life, looking around me and finding every possible small efficiency that I can take. Oftentimes it feels like I’m just automatically knowing what to do to reach the peak of my human performance in the world and in any given moment, but at the same time failing constantly in every aspect. It’s like... not to put this in an overly exaggerated fashion... being a god in a prison. It feels like being infinitely self-aware and having an abundance of knowledge without trying, but at the same time being being bound by the limitations of the human body and mind. Since I feel like this, it creates a paradoxical superiority-complex-like feeling that I’m just... above most people in scope. Except, I also feel below people in ways because of wanting to conform to culture and social norms, yet I myself often do not find many things interesting that others do, so I am often at a loss as to what to conversate about or joke about. I focus on elaborate ideas and concepts and things abstract in nature, so I tend to find the smaller activities and aspects of life to be uninteresting. Yet, I wil enjoy something very much if another person I am with wishes to do it. That gives an activity soul to it, like there is a reason to complete the action because of wanting another person to be fulfilled. It is a peculiar thing. My mind is full of things that I can articulate, yet many ideas conflict and are hypocritical to each other. I guess that’s just what makes it more fun to dive into. I find new things every day. That’s the end of my self analysis :)

[@EresirThe1st]

It astonishes me how different the two Ni doms are.

[@user-ez5vq9fd2t]

How so?

[@hectorpikipiki]

@@user-ez5vq9fd2t intj s

[@hectorpikipiki]

more action oriented

[@hollyvincentart]

I definitely agree with this video, While most INFJs I know (although I only know one personally - my brother) can have quick minds, they certainly aren't quick to take action and usually prefer to move at a slower, sometimes frustrating pace most of the time. I really enjoyed the concept of this type of video, and I'm looking forward to seeing more videos like this, but for different types. Keep up the good work, Nathan 😊I love watching this channel grow.

[@r0bertlp]

As an INFJ in my 30s, after watching hundreds of videos and reading kilometers of texts I need you say that this is probably the most informative and easy to understand (those allegories with stick figure etc) I've crossed by so far 👍🏻

[@lovewho]

That's awesome to hear. I'm not sure whether you've seen the various other INFJ videos on this channel, but feel free to check those out if you haven't! INFJs can be a tricky type to describe so it's really lovely to hear feedback like this in the comment section. Thank you! ~ Nathan

[@r0bertlp]

@@lovewho haven't seen yet but I definitely would get familiar with them. Feedback obligatory 👍🏻

[@nickc5465]

I just want to elaborate on the agreeableness. Personally, I just agree simply because I don’t want to create disharmony (thanks to Fe dang it). Most would wonder why we can’t say our own opinion or disagree. If you have Fe as one of your top 2 functions and you create or sense disharmony around you, you’ll feel intense emotional pain. Its like physical pain. So we want to avoid that as much as possible. For me, its not so much the that I’m going to disappoint or hurt the other person that I’m worried about but more so on the person’s negative feelings that I will feel later on(if that makes sense lol). This is why I have trained myself to say no when I really need to by backing it up with logical facts (Ti function) as to why I should say no. Of course, I can still feel the negative emotions so I just either drown myself in my Ni world or explore stuff outside (Se) to keep myself preoccupied. This is just me though. I don’t know if others can relate.

[@shannon1242]

Yup! Especially in the round about way we people please not for them but so their emotions don't distract us. I wish I could go into INTJ mode and just not care sometimes.

[@doriaware2965]

I do understand but can't explain it. It's just how I react to other people and try not to cause a stir.

[@phoenixnumber1]

Thank you for always making videos like these and speaking about our strengths in such a compassionate but also objective way! Even though I think these things about myself, it's always through a murky lens of self-doubt, self-criticism and self-flagellation, so hearing it from someone else who can say it so clearly and factually is like a gust of wind blowing through a dusty house, instantly reassuring and refreshing. Please continue to observe things about us, I'm so used to only ever being the observer..! :)

[@lovewho]

That seems to be a pattern in some of these comments: self doubt and self criticism. Personally, I think the INFJ approach to life is a brilliant one, and that they should lean into it! I'm glad you're enjoying and getting something from the videos ~ Nathan

[@phoenixnumber1]

@@lovewho Thanks Nathan 🥰 I'm finally learning to accept and accommodate for my quirks (for anyone reading, therapy helps)! It takes courage when facing historical or physical evidence (or a lack thereof), cold hard logic, or social (emotional) pressure to instead follow my personal insight or gut feeling, a path which feels to me like it will somehow work out but is difficult to justify or explain to others. People value speed and efficiency, maximising output for minimal input, and while I've learned to do that to an extent I'm not good at it. It's exhausting and requires this constant filter of self-criticism in order to maintain something acceptable to others (or so I think, at least). Never at ease, never good enough..! But I'm learning to slow down and go at my own pace, and to make decisions that are just good by my own standards, instead of the best by everybody's.

[@9MileRoar]

That was a brilliant explanation, love the ending "The time has come", yes I am the master of slow-mo 😆

[@lovewho]

I can rarely resist spinning the messages of the video into reasons why people should also subscribe at the end. Hope it worked! ~ Nathan

[@kyurei4478]

It's important that you took the time to precise that the function that is responsible for action is (Se) cause some people often think that it's the (Te) function that is linked to that. But it's just not the case. INFJs and ENFJs aren't procrastinators and INTJs and ENTJs aren't the biggest hard workers because of their (Te). (Fe) does as much but in a different way, for the relational field. So they usually end up exhausting themselves to help others endlessly. Taking action is the (Se) function, always doing (sometimes to a fault). INFJs and ENFJs can take a while to act but they're always theorizing more first with their (Ti) and not simply doing nothing, in order to take a better decision down the line. You'll hear them say they are lazy but just like INTPs they're too self critical.

[@bhanukhanal1299]

ENFJ have Se in their third, its not a weakness for them

[@kyurei4478]

Didn't say it was a weakness. It's just not on the level of a Se user. That's all.

[@DeathFarmerInc]

Ni>Ne>Ti=Fe... I live in a world of ghosts, not the literal kind, if there is such a thing, an amusing notion, really. Getting the material world to respond to my ethereal manipulations really does take forever. It can be so frustrating.

[@ptb4049]

Excellent content Epic eyebrows

[@lovewho]

Hard to tell which compliment is more enjoyable... ~ Nathan

[@TheFirstOnlyRealUltra]

I already subscribed. I expect you to read my mind next time

[@lovewho]

Noted, and will do ~ Nathan

[@TheFirstOnlyRealUltra]

@@lovewho cheers

[@yokkabai]

I agree with this. I’d also say that INFJs are perhaps prone to anxiety when in situations that allow for interruptions to our deep analyzing and simulation of future events. As you’ve said in your 12 Rules INFJ video, putting yourself in a situation where action is required is extremely helpful in such a scenario. I appreciate your explanation in this video here about how types are identified in aggregate as one type or another and its similarity to how INFJs think. On another note, at times I wonder if other types like SJ’s see value in INFJs. I wish I could bring things down to more practical real life physical reality but it is not my strength.

[@editorjeannie2318]

For me- I go over all kinds of outcomes (toooo many) but man once I settle on one - it’s a done deal. The hardest thing is making a decision. I like to say I’m a calculated risk taker.

[@cricri6077]

I started med school at 28 then graduated , took a break for two years to figure out my next move, and now that my longer term path is clearer as well as my strategy im back in a very proactive path towards my goal, who weirdly enough will probably/hopefully arrive sooner than the goal of some of the people who were so to say "faster" than me. Anyhow weird and interesting life until now, the delay frustrations are very present at times but stay focus and you turtle will probably arrive before all those anxious rabbits. The difference is that we enjoy the ride and the view from our very slow pace while still winning the race 🤷🏻‍♀️🤔🤭

[@user-sh9pl1sx2m]

how was medical school

[@aestaetic07]

this described me so insanely well i almost felt violated LMAO. another reason why i love mbti, it seems to be able to understand my workings and the reasons for them! thank you for another awesome video :)

[@aceanyconcept337]

Brilliantly explained. The scenario mentioned is why fast-paced, extroverted work environments aren't for INFJs. Can you also make a video on the different fields of psychology INFJs are likely to excel in?

[@brandonfisher2350]

I’m an INFJ electrician … man I love it. It’s a strategic, problem solving type of job. I could do pretty much anything I want, but this is what I want. If not electrician I would become a farmer, I think.

[@nate6878]

@@brandonfisher2350 I'm an INFJ server in both food and wine, and using it to get over my Se has been challenging but super rewarding and has also taught me that I as you said we can do or be anything, givin enough time. It's all about being open minded and using whatever you can to grow.

[@usernowhere4292]

Nathan is very creative in his way of asking people to subscribe. 😂

[@kageyama-kun1744]

Yay! It feels like there is really something special with us INFJs which only Nathan and the other INFJs see.

[@lovewho]

INFJs are definitely hard types to capture, but that makes it a fun challenge for videos! ~ Nathan

[@hamcrazy96]

3:18 That disagree part I really agree with and will have to learn to utilize in my own life

[@empiricus2211]

This is so incredibly spot on, I cannot even begin to tell you. thank you for being so helpful in my journey of understanding myself!

[@lovewho]

This is cool to hear. I'm glad you enjoyed the video!! ~ Nathan

[@solarisan_]

It is a bit tricky to try and accurately describe the exact mental process. Having Fe as an auxiliary function does go with ‘your problems are my problems’. I have previously mentioned that the hero and inferior function are like a bridge one tries to cross. Another way to look at it is through a concept called The Hero’s Journey. It is actually quite likely for a child to be focused on idea-turn it into reality (which is the beginning and end of a journey). Now, as one goes through that bridge it is easy to realize how people struggle and become aware of obstacles that life throws your way and search to integrate those into the idea-reality goal. Therefore, it becomes slow. And you realize that from Ni to Se is gonna be a lifelong pursuit that might get to light 10, 20, 30,…100 years from now. And the approach towards people varies from one person to another. It depends on situation. However, saying No needn’t be a problem if: 1. Goes against ideas, concepts, principles one has already “fit” into their character. 2. Upbringing matters more than the way we process the information. Because it tells us how we should approach such things. Gut types have an initial instinctive reaction that is No. Perhaps the way they go about it is different, but that underlying No! remains. 3. Standing up for something while everyone is assigned a chair to sit on is exhausting. Not only that, it makes one angry. So there is that… The need to search for people and groups who share similar ideas yet seeing how not everyone is willing to go against the flow when they realize it is moving in the wrong direction.

[@lovewho]

I view Fe as the aspect of INFJs that keeps them grounded too. Staying in touch with people and avoiding isolation is very important. Without that INFJs would very much be in the mould of a completely detached intellectual type ~ Nathan

[@anival9576]

"The need to search for people and groups who share similar ideas yet seeing how not everyone is willing to go against the flow when they realize it is moving in the wrong direction." This is well put... and a dilemma for me. I'm always looking for my tribe--a group already formed that I can join, but I have the sinking feeling that maybe I have to create it, and I'm not sure I can.

[@orionsmintaka]

@@lovewho I agree. I'm an INFJ, and also I think I'm a 6w5. I often have a very pessimistic view of Fe. I read that the parent function is usually more responsibly pessimistic (?), as opposed to the child function, which has more of a child-like optimism, and I completely see that with me. My enneagram accentuates my preference for Ti, which brings me great joy, and I'm more introverted than the stereotypical INFJ. If I don't keep myself in check, I end up isolating myself from people and reality very easily, mostly when both turn hurtful in some way, which is a more-common-than-not occurrence. That detached intellectuality you mentioned hits very close to home. I don't think it does me much good, except for the fact that I'm definitely not a people-pleaser, I don't prioritise others' needs before my own and I can be very direct and to-the-point to communicate, sometimes a bit harsher than what would be appropiate according to my Fe, so I'm far from those stereotypes. It's a defense mechanism but has its advantages. I guess I can come across a bit INTJ or INTP-like sometimes, when suppressing my Fe, but I still come across mostly as soft-spoken and sweet to those that see me on a day-to-day basis. I'm not sure why I ended up writing this thesis haha, but your comment was interesting and got me on a roll, so you have only yourself to blame I'd say XD.

[@hannahz6418]

Thank you! I have never heard of that in any other mbti video, but the thing with the unorganized to-do-lists is SO REAL!

[@lovewho]

It's something I've noticed from many INFJs. It was hard to put into words since... they are still structured but not organised in the usual sense!? ~ Nathan

[@karibu333]

Spot on! It is a pleasure to listen to this video. The more I mature the more I can admit to what I want. Thank you very much.

[@lovewho]

Indeed. Being able to state what you want and perhaps more importantly, say no, is a sign of growth for INFJs ~ Nathan

[@grumpyschnauzer]

Very lovely and valuable assessment. Percolating is my favorite word to describe “moving slowly through life”.

[@lovewho]

It does seem like the ideal word to capture that style of thinking and processing! ~ Nathan

[@RacerMMXXII]

Thank you. That was so very helpful in understanding an old INFJ friend from many different angles. I wouldn't call him slow, but he did revel in planning his moves and then, at times, moved like a dancer or juggler, laughing all the while with joy at his own Golbergian arrangements of body and mind. He was quite a good pianist and an expert with silverware. :-)

[@lovewho]

I love it when people watch videos with the aim of understanding other people in their life! ~ Nathan

[@emmanuelisaac7131]

My mom says I should be more envious.

[@simongross3122]

I'm jealous of your mom

[@BigDGolf-23]

It's interesting talking about being disagreeable to blowing up. I hang out with disagreeable people to get practice being disagreeable. I've noticed some key points in their behavior. They will exhaust themselves on a personal level to ensure remaining spontaneous. (Se Dom's) or remaining in control, Te Dom's. I guess with that being said, repressing Se is really just a way for us to save energy so if we actually need to fight we can win. That's how I use it anyways. The best tool I've learned is to have firm boundaries on what is acceptable and what isn't, and developer a light hearted approach to the areas of less concern, and put your foot down when there is no compromise.

[@RealityCheck1]

As an INFJ myself, I observed that people who move too much tend to age very quickly. Biologically speaking, they are very thermogenic & cooking themselves from the inside-out.

[@mokari9268]

Finally an INTP describing an INFJ without all the vitriol. A breathe of fresh air!

[@shyinsomniac]

Gosh this is my life and it's so frustrating. It drives me crazy, but someone finally put it into words. Thank you!

[@novaimperialis]

This does apply to INTJs as well. My process is similar in that I start with a given abstraction that would be my blueprint and from it, I built on it until I can get to a an accurate representation that can correspond with the situation that I'm dealing with. Afterwards, I can take that abstract reality basically and apply it to the real thing. I'm able to form in this way techniques and methods that each one can help me with different things. Type for instance have been for me a very valuable field that allowed me to grow. Having such a blueprint allowed me to understand types and people and to built on it with my own observations and make my own model of it. This in turn allows me to see the structure of individuals as well as their properties and how I can affect those. It is as if I see through X-rays the structure of a thing, make a blueprint based on that, and then built it on until I can get to form a system that is sufficiently developed to help me in the actual reality. Due to this now, I can predict pretty much all movements and reactions of each individual according to this blueprint and I also know how to steer them towards reactions that would be beneficial for them. To explain it is as if I see the wires behind the moving parts and I can also affect those moving parts by tweaking and putting the wires in new configurations which in turn creates effects in relation to those moving parts themselves. Would be curious to see what's your take on INTJs next with this series.

[@nikkinova.sd.]

My closet is organized, my life is not im an INFJ

[@Bunnie3322]

You convinced me at the end with that subscribe promo before it could even be a full thought 😎

[@julieolson1402]

Outstanding! One of the hardest functions for this INFP to grasp. I would love for you to do a series of videos contrasting how the functions work in a like manner; Ni vs Ne, etc. I'm not sure you fully realize the extent to which you are able to distill and clarify the essence of these functions. I'm not finding anyone out there who excels at it to such a degree. This, in combination with your humor and abilities as a wordsmith, makes you the most

[@elizabeth.annrose]

Slow and steady wins the race,...you are always spot on. God bless.

[@cynthiasarah4286]

We don't do dualism we don't multitask... we have to really be present to complete the action.. But we make major major additions to the world with what I call tortoise projects... And yes we would prefer someone else to the bs chores of living. I have more important things to do. Loads of reading Writing Copyrighting If my phone even buzzes when Im doing my art. And making massive progress. It's like someone died.

[@jhonathanskillet3758]

Congrats it's a good video something I noticed in my personal experience it's that infj then to absorb information and reach and chose principles. Once they realize that concepts and theory doesn't have to much value without action and learn how to act and aplly those principles it's when they start to getting to much better results. I'm still learning English btw xd

[@lovewho]

Your English is great! Thank you for the comment ~ nathan

[@Creature_and_Creation]

Omg is this a thing? I’ve noticed how slow I am with making decisions and taking action; it’s frustrating but it seems to be the way I do things

[@sorreaea]

I usually don't comment on youtube videos as much. Still, as an INFJ who's interested in this genre, I really appreciate how you describe how we function because I have never come across a video that explained my thought process that thoroughly, and you definitely gained a new subscriber! I love your ongoing theme and great editing, you're doing an awesome job even though it's a one-off video, it's very well made.

[@lovewho]

Thank you for this comment! Luring people out of the shadows into the comment section is always particularly enjoyable to me. I’m not sure if you’re new to the channel, but if so, definitely feel free to check out the various other INFJ videos too ~Nathan

[@jaroslaval9159]

I just had to laugh. Considering it is almost noon on my day off and still in my PJ's, I would have to say that I definitly move slowly! But in general I absolutely agree with this. I have an internal allergy to too much, especially long term.

[@HarryPotterFreak623]

😂😂😂 the way you end your videos is 10/10!

[@lovewho]

Why thank you... ~ Nathan

[@richard8506]

Love this, thanks Nathan

[@lovewho]

And thank you for this comment ~ Nathan

[@syyedarahat4219]

You are great teacher on the subject matter. Your video making on 12 rules for INFJ making good work for this personality type. These rules are more accurate. I am also an INFJ. Love from Pakistan. Please you should made video on, how to become more productive an INFJ.

[@lovewho]

This is a really lovely comment, thank you for taking the time to write it. I have done some videos entitled "How to win as an INFJ" and "INFJ Weakness and how to solve them", but I'm not sure whether productivity is mentioned in either of those. This is definitely a topic I will revisit at some point! ~ Nathan

[@small_dropin_the_big_ocean995]

Absolutely on point. This explains why I am slow and often get lost in abstracts instead of taking the next step lol. Your stick drawing for person is right. I can'tbelieve I am hearing this in words from an actual person. I am someone who dont really care about faces and associate people with personality tyoes or my own made up words so that it becomes easier to classify them. I take real world examples and build my ideas on them. I need to plan everything before doing anything, like a task as simple as writing an essay or going out for groceries. I have to look out for every possibility and problems I might face because that makes me feel more structured and prepared and yet I might end up procastinating or not doing anything at all etc. I love structure because without structure, I struggle to decide what should I do next and feel confused but structure should allow me to breathe, explore and evolve at my own pace.

[@dianarick73]

Thank you for the breakdown. As a INFJ it explains me to me.

[@lovewho]

That’s really awesome to hear! ~ Nathan

[@athirakhairamulyaputri326]

this explains sooooo much about myself. sometimes i feel like i’m not efficient enough but turns out that’s just how i work. thanks, nathan!

[@ericstankylekenny]

Thanks because this video helps me understand why a close INFJ friend could not be there for me in a crisis. He's a good person, though.

[@themultiverseman]

@Love Who Im an INFJ and I have the same exact guitar amp too! Crazy cool coincidence! 🤟🏽😎🤟🏽

[@kyerinn]

Very nicely done. Time has always been my enemy. Always. Deadlines and meetings and appointments… basically, living in society is very stressful to me. I’d much prefer a slower pace where people aren’t so beholden to the clock. Also, a former boss chastised me for not “being adaptable enough in changing priorities” at work. It wasn’t just the discomfort of rearranging planned tasks, it’s that the changing priorities were inefficient and nonsensical. But you can’t tell the boss that.

[@bargainbassist]

That's what you get with a (probably) SP boss, who is more interested in the nuts 'n' bolts of how things work, and is only interested in being "flexible" for its short-term advantages. But INFJs are more strategic in their approach and are good at detecting and trying to avoid the more redundant and inefficient ways of doing things. Ultimately, the organization benefits more from this "big picture" approach of the INFJ, both financially and on the HR level.

[@bronzeplayergaming2244]

Not an INFJ but thank you for helping me understand. People are just hard to understand

[@ngeee10]

Lol that's one thing infj's are good at understanding people. But no one understands us. Our dilemma.

[@zeynepbilge6376]

Brilliant explanations! As an INFJ, I agree on all of them. I can't wait for more videos about INFJs.

[@geliefish]

:') I've been struggling with my self lately, I don't know if I'm being self-critical but so glad I stumbled upon this video and now I understand why am I like this. Tiny steps to improvement, glad I found my validation.

[@manarsalah2116]

I was thinking that i want to be brave in real life as brave as I'm in my head.

[@lovewho]

Or, find minions to do that for you ~ Nathan

[@therealultraknight5157]

Wow I did not expect for this video to be this accurate. Good job.

[@ZJCitricAcidGraf.E.T.]

4:44 - YESSSS!! This is so me! I make lists upon lists and then I usually theorize what's the most efficient way to tackle my To-Do lists; usually it's never put into practice and things don't get done because usually _OTHER_ things come up 😦 It's a vicious cycle

[@ZNIR777]

Just like every comment said here, this is scarily spot on.

[@maciejglaza8505]

Why this process is 'wierd'? We are just cautious before we open and scared of being missunderstood.

[@PhyrIsSoCold]

This really resonates with me. I've watched too many videos on the topic of MBTI and this one just feels the most relatable. Though, end of the day, I still think I flip-flop to other "types" and remain unsure. Thanks for the video!

[@lovewho]

It's great when people feel like they've gotten confirmation about their type from one of the videos. The typology space can be a rabbit hole not least because people have very different ways of describing the types. Glad you enjoyed the video! ~ Nathan

[@TrulySaurabh]

Just brilliant, spoke to me on many notes, thank you for this