INFJs And Sexuality - A Preliminary Look At It

[@BoomShikha]

Thank you so much to everyone who has chosen to support my video mission on Patreon.com/boomshikha! If you want to learn more about how to get involved, check out my Patreon page! ❤😍❤

[@aaronkelly5103]

Could you please private msg me

[@marbachmeier3227]

I think you would be ok if your boyfreind bring out your beutiy you are very buetiful and nned a prince to kiss you and bring you out of the spell never 2nd guess yourself i do alot of people drawing. And i cqn tell clothed or not shouldnt be modest you are a lucky w oman beutiful eaither way

[@Raj-bw5dm]

I am an INFJ Male and I don't relate to what you are saying. I have an INFJ Female friend and we gets eachother and understand without saying a word. As per me INFJs love lovemaking (Sex) with right companion. They will not analyse it but see it as opportunity to convey our love and affection to the person we Love. And as you said we don't live in our bodies most of the time which is absolutely right but in lovemaking actually we are in our bodies because we want to connect to our mate in every possible aspect. Sometimes we feel to dissolve ourselves when we are intimately connected through lovemaking. I just shared what i felt as an INFJ and what you are saying might be relating to many individuals not specifically to INFJs. I watched your video INFJs are kindest Evil which I can relate to to because actually we are not anything but we are authentic and we say the truth when we are not emotional, so if we are saying nice things then to people we appear kind and if we are saying bitter truth then we are evil. But yes we INFJs are walking contradiction. Feel good to know that you are an INFJ and I appreciate your work...tc..

[@infj-tguy6275]

Scorpio baby

[@infjinsights8074]

As an INFJ, I view sex as a spiritual and emotional experience. It's the most intimate way to connect with someone.

[@BoomShikha]

Yes!! I agree absolutely. That's why I don't get it when people just view it as a casual thing. Eek.

[@neshamasheli962]

Ditto

[@paulb515]

Sex is an act to express my intimate connection with my partner. Like two hearts talking. With zero emotional connection sex means not much of anything to me.

[@cirukarago7251]

💯

[@candacecasey5634]

Same here. People just don't get it. I don't share sexuality with just anyone

[@tomthumb8346]

I like your perspective of "its hard enough being me, let alone bringing someone else in."

[@BoomShikha]

Yup!

[@BoomShikha]

Let me think about it! I am dealing with something similar so I do have experience working with and healing it. 💕💕💕

[@marshmallow51343]

Sexuality is overrated in our modern societies. We expect so much from it, but it is only a Symbol for a higher love beyond sexual desire. INFJ is more interested in the higher, purer forms of love (joining souls) and we should cultivate that and be proud of IT rather than adjust to an oversexualized society.

[@BoomShikha]

Yes, I love the idea of joining souls with someone. Makes me tingle all over. :)

[@darkangel8922]

a comment that suits me most..

[@408slickone]

Lars beautifully said my brother and I completely agree. A deeper connection is what should be looked for 😊😊😊

[@AmandaExpressions]

Agreed!

[@richardgore9105]

Lars comment about sharing Souls is so true. My wife and I shared that. Many times it's so incredible. I think it's as close as you can get to heaven Nirvana or whatever you want to call it.

[@ItsAGoodChannel]

My opinion: Sexual Intercourse is a SPIRITUAL act, in which the human body merely plays the role of a conduit: The keys to the divine.

[@BoomShikha]

YES!!!! Agreed. 😍❤😍

[@piasparkles]

I am also a very sexual person, but I barely have some, cause I am single and I don't like sex without trust. I really love reading books or blogs about it and also sometimes wish to have something similar. It's just like when it comes to it I don't know what to do. And my last encounter left with me a bad feeling about sex outside of a relationship. Something bad happened and he just left right away and was very insensitive the whole night. Now my attraction to men and sex is really broken. But I still enjoy reading these stories.

[@BoomShikha]

Thanks for sharing!!

[@emmanuellao2248]

Shana Lee you're like me 😄🤗

[@deanna.radiant]

I am an INFJ and I can relate to to all of the things you are saying! I thought I have issues but recently came to know that I am a Demisexual! Sometimes my friends would go all gaga in love when they see an attractive guy or if they see a half naked hunk and I would get very confused! I find well dressed, old fashioned, classy men with a great personality way attractive than half naked lustful swag boys! =)

[@BoomShikha]

Yes!! Me tooooo. :)

[@veritasliberabitvos454]

The old, never judge a book by it's cover. Then the icing on the cake is so sweet. And then there is the projecting of what we want to see (based on attraction we have, that is not under our control, or the lack of attraction and therefore rejection of the individual). In the actual act, this is more intuition and input from the other person. reading their signals and being present (meaning we need to get out of our heads). This is scary as we are less experienced being in our emotionas an "exposed" this way. This is needed for true intamacy with another person, instead of just getting our rocks off. One key ingredient both men and women (healthy ones, not personality disordered or cluster b types) is to be desired. Now, that is a turn on, you know it when you see it, the eyes do not lie.

[@rosebudsue3056]

veritas liberabit vos...your statement was very thoughtful and intelligently phrased. I read it twice and you were very perceptive on this topic. Look forward to other replies you put out there. Bravo!

[@kcirnameht7129]

Deanna Radiant u dont get deceived by our deceived society! Go girl!!!

[@allisonwilson7591]

Exactly. I feel same way.

[@005HegeFredriksen]

Thank you for this. It is my impression that many INFJs may have experienced a violation of their boundaries, in childhood, which in turn have forced them to "move up into the upper apartment" (the mind), merely to survive. This would naturally affect the level of "trust" felt, when in close proximity to others. "Trust- issues" then becomes a measure of self- protection, rather than something that should be viewed as "abnormal". For INFJs that have survived abuse, it is important to stop comparing themselves to people who have NOT been abused. These INFJs must understand that they have to take back the power stolen from them, by REGULATING the trust they have in others. I think we need to start looking at the term "trust- issues" differently, and realize that it is NOT our job to trust others; -either someone is TRUSTWORTHY, or they are not. For INFJs who often have the capacity to sense future events, it could very well be that a "friend" further along the line, may turn against them, and it may be this "lack of trust" that the INFJ (rightfully) is feeling. For INFJs who have been abused, taking back their body, and inhabiting it fully, can be a slow process, but a necessary and important one. Again, it is important to not allow any comparison to others, about one`s level of trust, and one`s sexuality. Take care. Kind regards.

[@BoomShikha]

Love this analysis. Thank you for sharing!! ❤❤❤❤

[@005HegeFredriksen]

To Boom Shikha. You`re very welcome! I truly appreciate your videos. Keep `em comin`, please! I forgot to mention that when it comes to trust, one will feel a whole lot better around others, when one`s inner trust in ONESELF develops. To know that one can fully handle it, should someone pose a threat, will give a sense of being protected, regardless of how others act. Take good care of your sweet and charming self. CHEERS!

[@jiwon5315]

I don’t mind being single. I want to be in a relationship because i know i am better with that person, not because im lonely. It’s awesome to hear your thoughts on this topic 💕

[@BoomShikha]

Awww, thanks Jiwon!! I am the same. I don't mind being single, and I don't mind being with someone if they are special to me.

[@Elfen41]

Um..... I have to say I am not disgusted by sex, per se, I am disgusted when it's just meaningless sex. Trust and feelings definitely make it better. I definitely am very, VERY aware of my body sexually.... in this aspect I'm not really sure I can agree on this. I know there are different types of INFJs so I guess that explains it. However, I have to say I most often do get over people really way too easily which makes me wonder sometimes if I'm way too cold or unfeeling and I tend to compartmentalize my feelings. I'm in my early 40s and I'm not married because it's just too difficult to be around anyone 24/7. Sometimes I've had to be reminded by the guy I'm with that I should be participating in the relationship by calling, texting, etc. Too much energy.....I LOVE long distance relationships.

[@BoomShikha]

Thanks for sharing!! Really interesting - I don't think I am disgusted by sex, I love sex, but I do get turned off by one-night stands. And yes, I couldn't be with someone 24/7. I would hate them if they were around me so much.

[@lucindadutoit2373]

Elfen41 I can totally relate to what you are saying. I am exactly like that. Very connected sexually only if there is depth to the relationship. Meaningless sex disgusts me. However, I can be with someone I truly love 24/7 for a while, but then I would wake up one day and would need some space and alone time. I’m also in my early 40’s and got married just over two years ago to an ENFJ who understands that part of me. He allows me the space if I need it. It is however not easy for me to be in a relationship with someone who expects too much from my time and wants to be in communication all the time. I can also cut someone off completely and have been called an ice queen a couple of times. I always thought there’s something wrong with me. I’m very happy to see I am not the only one. Thank you so much for sharing. ❤️

[@rosebudsue3056]

Lucinda du Toit: as an INFJ, my husband is an ENFJ. If we communicate, we seldom have any problems. As a business consultant, he's away, fulfilling his need as an extrovert. As a writer & painter, I am very content having him out of the house so I can work quietly each day. When we finally connect and converse, we encourage each other all the more. We never get tired of intellectual discussions and always give each other the space we need. We have been married for 50 years and I have never felt smothered. Hope you are as lucky with your marriage as we have been! Good luck...we are 48 years ahead of you. 50 years just boggles the norm in relativity!

[@TheAlharris13]

I feel you, I'm not digusted either, but it's not like on my top 3. I am in love with my man, and he is all about sex all the time, but I'm like "meh, I'm reading" or just not interested, but when the feeling strikes me he knows, drop whatever it is you're doing even if he's across town at the gym and come home asap. He and I have been in an on again off again long distace relationship for years (just the long distance part) and I miss him to death when he's not here, but when he does come to visit and he walks through the door it's like I'm not able to muster up those super warm feelings, it's just like "hey" (though I've made a 7 course gourmet meal for him to enjoy...alone. He's sweet because he'll be in the kitchen and I'll be in the den and he'll come and ask "babe, can I chill with you for a minute while I eat? I just wanna be next to you, I'll say sure, and he'll sit and eat quietly until I'm ready to talk), but usually the next day near the afternoon I'm super ready to be feeling. The closer we come to getting married the more freaked out I am about needing to find myself, and wanting to be able to travel, and be alone and find a career that fits me, before I connect myself to someone for life, and then have children...it's what I want, but on my own terms, I said to him " what if we get married and I feel like I need to just go away by myself and just be alone for a month or so in like tuscany", his response, "babe, if that's what you need, then it's okay". So, it's okay.

[@mdfan1237]

I am an INFJ 110%. I check almost every single box for an INFJ female, but I do not relate to this. I'm very sensual and sexual. As far as the trust thing, I believe that is true for most women of any personality type.

[@BoomShikha]

I didn't say that I am not sexual or sensual, just that I also have this opposite end to me, where I really need a lot of boxes checked before I can get into a sexual encounter. :)

[@mahadrox]

Hey guys, as to what you said, i am a 23 yr old male and feel exactly the way you do, infj too i think...wierd?

[@miyamotomusashi3679]

I'm an infj too and I'm addicted to masturbation!! 😟

[@david_oliveira71]

@@miyamotomusashi3679 Huh,..could that be for temporarily satisfaction and relief? And maybe because of your inferior Se?

[@Bayo106]

@@miyamotomusashi3679 that's a problem

[@SadeMetsavirta]

I relate to this so much...... I'm 23 and have never dated or had sex or done anything sexual with anyone. I'm not antisocial and have tons of friends and am decent looking. I just find the idea of doing anything intimate with someone I don't have a deep connection with gross. When I was younger I used to only get crushes rarely and they wouldn't be based on looks or how "hot" someone is. I'd crush on book characters and fictional characters who I felt a deep connection with, I had a huge crush on my teacher in high school, since he was smart and funny and I saw him every day and slowly felt like I "knew him". In the last few years the only crushes I've had have been on guy friends and they developed over a long period of time after I got to know them. Nothing ever came of those, since I am way to shy to tell anyone I like them, and even if I did I wouldn't know what to do about it then :p I don't know how to date people, I've kissed a few people in my life and never sober and by my initiative. I feel very awkward and disconnected from my body, I feel like I wouldn't know how to kiss someone or start getting romantic and intimate, or if I'd even want that. This came out as a pretty confusing mess :,D... But I'm trying to say that I feel you about the "being a mess" part. I'm fine with being single 95% of the time, until there are those moments where I like someone and wonder what it would be like if they liked me too and I would just be normal about it.

[@BoomShikha]

Thank you so much for sharing. The first thing I would say is you are not alone. When I was 23, I was exactly like you. In fact, I didn't kiss my first guy until I was 21, which was a big deal for everyone, who made fun of me for it. Also, I would say to you, learn about your body first. You are not connected to it right now, but that's the first thing to do. Learn what you like, what your body loves, how to pamper it, what it feels like in different seasons, weathers, and atmospheres. Etc. It's important. Before you are with anyone, you need to know yourself. Hope this helps. :)

[@SadeMetsavirta]

Thanks for the response! :) I definitely want to learn the become more comfortable with myself, body and mind. I feel that I go through life feeling kind of uncomfortable in my own skin in most situations, and I'm actively working to change that. I really enjoy your videos, I'm in a similar life situation and see that world in a very similar way. It's rare for me to feel that, I don't have anyone in my life who I feel that actually understands what I'm going through trying to just live life as an anxious, emotional, introverted over thinker. I'm in my final year of college trying to figure out what the hell I'm gonna do with my life and trying to balance the need to connect with people with the need to be alone a lot gather my thoughts.

[@BoomShikha]

I'm 34 and I am still trying to figure out what to do with my life. :P Good luck and have a great day.

[@s.v.gadder1443]

the fun of being this type, you just have to fall in love sometimes, it's probably not gonna work lol bc were so much better off single...

[@samrushing6283]

I always thought I had some sort of trauma or something because i dont like to be touched by people I'm not trusting of, and people always question why. This sums up my feelings understandably. Thank you for sharing

[@BoomShikha]

I'm so glad the video resonated! 😍😍😍😍

[@daniellem578]

Sex for me has to be w/ someone I have an emotional connection and trust. It can be so awkward for me if there isn’t a connection w/ the partner it’s hard for me to want sex w/ them.You’re right we have a hard time trusting others and for me sharing my body is very intimate and spiritual. It’s something I don’t take lightly. In the past I would get very hurt if I felt a guy just use me “for sex” and didn’t want more from me. I would do the the INFJ door slam. I need that trust to know the person won’t hurt me if I do have sex w/ them. Most ppl I tell that to think it’s “weird”. But I think it’s weird to just randomly have sex w/ someone that you barely even know, or have no connection with..

[@BoomShikha]

Oh my god, yes. This body and mind of mine is a sacred temple. I spend so much time analyzing it and learning about it. And then, you think I am just going to let a crazy person into it??? Umm, I don't think so. :)

[@daniellem578]

Boom Shikha exactly

[@Ephesians5-14]

couldn't agree more!

[@mcdee56]

As an INFJ, I find sex to be the perfect way to create deep connection. Partially because it's non-verbal expression and partially because being sensual bipasses the analytical brain. I practiced celibacy at times, yet it was just an avoidance from the inevitable... being vulnerable is a requisite of true intimacy. Risk is a needed ingredient. WE get to choose... being guarded and alone or risking and connecting (even when it's not perfect). I choose the risk of not being in control to experience the full aliveness of life and love! Tough job for an INFJ! Because there IS no safety in this crazy world. Don't postpone your living!

[@BoomShikha]

Great points!! Thanks for sharing!!

[@choccomonde]

wow man this got to me actually

[@mcdee56]

@@choccomonde Please say more, Spiky Blobject!

[@JoeMotionVideos82]

Thank you for sharing this. I feel the same way. I thought that there was something wrong with me. lol. Sex to me is pretty clinical, unless I am in love with the woman. Intellectually, it is fascinating to me. The science behind sex is astounding! I am more about pleasing my partner, than I am about being pleased.

[@BoomShikha]

Yeah, the science behind everything is fascinating to me. :)

[@veritasliberabitvos454]

The other thing I would say is that learning about sex is another thing. So reading about it. Things like tantra, techniques, positions, touch, foreplay, fabric, clothing, sound, lighting, location. Understanding our partner, how to touch them, how to read their responses, where all their sensitive spots are, etc. The sharing, the give and take. Trying new things, talking about things, showing the other person what works and what does not. Learning our own language about this together, words / touch / looks, etc. Most important, knowing the other person deeply desires you (not just physically, emotionally and connected).

[@BoomShikha]

I love this comment. So beautifully put. I absolutely love this. Yes, I am always so interested in learning more about my partner in this manner. I just need to find someone else who is into this stuff. :P

[@rosebudsue3056]

Also I keep asking myself the why's of it all, the relation, the sensations, the emotions. It's the education side of sex and learning the cerebral side of love. Watching a couple react to each other at the beginning of their relationship and viewing each others' body language as it progresses is INFJs interest. That's an education in and of itself that sparks even more questions. Somehow I thought your vid was more about INFJs thought concept of sex rather than the viewers interpretation of their own personal act of sex. Have I misunderstood the response you were seeking from your INFJ viewers.

[@BoomShikha]

Yesss!! Beautifully put. :)

[@OneUnderground]

Relatable! I often felt out of place at the club scene because I observed it's mostly people searching for potential sex partners. I can't do casual sex. When I'm single I can be without it (not that I want to) but when I finally do connect with someone on many levels and drop my defenses, it's a whole other story!

[@CarbsAfterDark]

Very interesting. As a lesbian INFJ, I’ve often wondered what’s “wrong” with me as far as sex goes. I think women are beautiful, amazing beings and I love connecting with them but when it comes to sex, it always seems like I’m just too in my head to enjoy the experience. Definite mind/body disconnect. Very hard to explain bc I do love the idea of connecting with someone in a physical way. I guess it all comes back to that trust thing lol. I’d be interested in more videos on the topic of sex. Thank you so much!

[@BoomShikha]

You are absolutely welcome! And, yes, I am going to do a bunch more videos on sex and sexuality. It seems to be such an important topic. And I have a lot to say on it. :S

[@OneUnderground]

know exactly what you mean.. have the same problem with the whole being in the head too much which makes it difficult to orgasm.

[@robertbauman40]

The Egyptians, Greeks Romans with their spiritual rituals had sexual rituals which intertwined. I suggest that when you as an INFJ think you're in your headspace you are also desiring a spiritual/soul connection and on that level you're not connected with that partner. I believe it is not a trust issue but your insight/wisdom of an INFJ kicks in and you know that that deep level is not connected and so stay in your head zone.

[@salemkitty5786]

Same. Took me a while to accept myself as lesbian

[@redwolfpaper7691]

The disconnect between mind and body is true! It’s such a difficulty when intimacy is in play. I find I really have to concentrate on feeling pleasure when it comes to the physical side of sex. On the other hand, techniques that stimulate my mind, like dirty talk or power play, are so much more effective.

[@BoomShikha]

Yup!! That's why BDSM is a great thing for INFJs. It helps us shut down our mental chatter, and really just let go, not that I am recommending it to everyone.

[@robertallain8966]

mental chatter lol........

[@kar3n35]

8:37 omg yasssss. Like just thinking a bout someone I barely know touching my body just creeps me out. I need we'll build trust for that.

[@BoomShikha]

Absolutely!! 😇😇😇

[@alibertylover]

I am a man & INFJ . Your perspective & analysis is spot on. I enjoy the content. Keep up the good work....

[@BoomShikha]

I'm grateful for the support!

[@urbanrat84]

I think you nailed it on the head. Mind body connection is hard for me but if I trust the person that unlocks my ability to give myself over in the moment and have a deeply satisfying encounter. Finding a partner who is trustworthy is crucial, as physical intimacy allows us to soul gaze at close quarters. The smallest give away that we have been fooled into getting physical with a person who does not deserve our trust and we're finished with you. Unfortunately in the dating game we encounter deception more than trustworthiness and this just reinforces our nature.

[@BoomShikha]

The dating game is about the long haul, I think. It takes a long time to weed out and find someone, but unfortunately, I don't have the patience for it.

[@doloresamaya6331]

It is as though you jumped out of my head and started speaking.! You're so on point.

[@BoomShikha]

Hahah! Thanks Dolores!

[@xXRubella666Xx]

I'd be interested in more vids on this. I'm pretty frigid and it didn't occur to me that this may be really common among INFJs. I find bodies kind of gross, and I've never really felt any of the desire that other people seem to. I still have sex with my partner but I feel almost nothing. I suspect adding some BDSM elements would help, purely because it would make the experience less physical and a little more mental for me. There's a power dynamic there that really appeals to me (and it comes down to trust again). I think I need to have control/responsibility taken away from me in order to properly feel safe enough to fully trust my partner and let go. Physical stuff alone just isn't enough for me. I really need an intense mental/emotional element, it seems.

[@BoomShikha]

Amazing!! I love this comment. I will definitely do a video on this, because yes, BDSM does add that mental element, and giving away of power, that really helps with sexuality. At least for me. :)

[@SadeMetsavirta]

Second that! I've never been turned on by watching porn or the idea of meeting a hot stranger, it's about the emotional connection with a person or if that's not available I read a long story with deep character development and then I can get into it when those characters hook up :,D

[@singularity9764]

As an INFJ I want a deep connection with my partner emotional and spiritual. I want you make my partner happy and the only thing I want in return is respect and support I don't know if other INFJ want something else but I think those are the most important aspect that help the INFJ relationship thrive

[@BoomShikha]

Yes, and loyalty for me is a big one! 😍😍😍😍

[@kellypawspa]

Hahahah! Funny about the pain thing, once i was in labor for over twelve hours and mistaked it for mild constipation...... and delivered with just a little shot of delottin,.... freaked evryone out.... my family now beleives that i am an alien.... LOL!

[@BoomShikha]

Oh my god!! That's insane. :)

[@angelanichols9788]

I was married for 14 years and I never got over the awkward about it. I did what I could so my husband didn't know but the whole time I could not wait for it to be done.I think it's grose. Germs and sweat and b.o. all touching. Then there is the pressure of performance. I got my two kids out of it but I am good without all that mess. I can ring my own bell when the need arises.

[@BoomShikha]

Wow, brilliant. Thanks for sharing!! I am grateful to hear this, because I am so not interested in marriage, and I wonder if I am crazy. :)

[@esjayee2024]

Nailed it! There are so many that don't understand this. Thank-you for sharing!

[@BoomShikha]

Thanks for watching! ♥️ ♥️

[@robbyjones3922]

i am loving your videos, you are explaining me in like every video i have watched so far. that is not something i am used to as most people belive so many things about me that they see to be fact but they are waaayy offbase most times because the reason they believe i am doing something or saying something or acting a certain way for attention, or glory, or to stand out, i cant tell you how many of my most genuine, selfless, and pure actions are twisted into some extreme negatively motivated and monstrously intentioned motive. i know this video is not at all about those topics its just that you have hit every topic head on how it is actually in my own mind. two thumbs up and a huse smile sent on the wind to you , much love and light my beautiful sister. you're awesome! thank you

[@robbyjones3922]

oops, totally didnt realize i am commenting as my husband...lol. he is not infj but entp

[@BoomShikha]

Awww, thank you so much!! And you found your ENTP!! So happy for you. :)

[@EddieTheMan2]

Your toe-story made me laugh out loud, as I saw myself in it! I actually broke one of my toes at work once, and only realized I had done so at bedtime, by seeing it pointing sideways as I took off my socks! Resetting it was painful nonetheless! :)

[@BoomShikha]

Oh god! Really??

[@EddieTheMan2]

Yes of course! I have no reason to lie to you! It happened about ten years ago, but apparently left an everlasting impression it seems! Your toe-comment was what triggered the memory no doubt! :)

[@Allesea159]

Omg yes. this. I really thought something was wrong with me. So glad to see that you feel the same way around this subject. Thank you

[@BoomShikha]

Awesome!!! Thanks for watching. :)

[@diptisingh1575]

so true in my case ... I don't like to be touch by men until and unless I trust him completely with my life.. I always analyse why people can be intimate this easily ... But when i trust someone then there is no looking back .. He has all my attention love and care ...

[@BoomShikha]

Yeah, I don't like being touched by men, unless I trust them either. :)

[@marksamuels6293]

I relate intensely to everything in this video! Like others who have commented, my friends can't and couldn't understand where my sexuality lies, because I had no interest in chasing women, like so many men do. I always said I wouldn't meet women that I would like at the places they went to. It was freeing in many ways, I could just enjoy myself, without all of the nonsense clouding the situation. I made, and still do, a lot of primarily female friends, mainly because they seem to understand my mindset, even if I've never explicitly articulated it to them (apart from one). I recently found out my sexuality, or the way I think about sexual matters, puts me under the banner 'demisexual'. I'm beginning to wonder if many INFJs would fall under that designation? Keep up the great videos, podcast, or books! I'll read whatever you put out, you're my INFJ time model. 👍🏾

[@BoomShikha]

Yes!! Thanks for sharing this!! 😍😍😍

[@AnyaRoman]

I really appreciate this post. As a newly discovered INFJ, I feel so much validation from people explaining why my mind works the way it does. My question pertains to the increase I’ve noticed in open relationships and polyamory in lgbtq relationships. As a queer INFJ person I find these types of relationships particularly difficult. Do you think an INFJ is more likely to identify as monogamous because of the trust issues we have? Any insights on this would be helpful. Thank you!

[@BoomShikha]

Interesting. I actually find it easier to be in poly relationships because there's a lot of trust involved in such relationships. It isn't just about wham-bam-thank-you-maam, but about communication, and building trust over time, to be able to go into polygamy. I find traditional relationships to be too hard, because there's just not such trust built up (at least for me), and I find it difficult to just rely upon one person for all of my needs, be it emotional or sexual. But that's just me. :)

[@BoomShikha]

You are welcome to PM me on Facebook to chat about this further. xx

[@derricklafure7537]

You’re the first person to Ever explain exactly how I feel. Thank you!!!

[@BoomShikha]

Thanks for watching!

[@faithhope9631]

You've nailed it! I've never been attracted to nightstands, I don't understand them and it's one of the very few things I don't really want to understand at all. I need an immense amount of trust for it, if there's no trust there's 1% chance I'll even get aroused, now...if there's trust I can be up for it 24/7/365. After quite some sessions at therapist we've covered this aspect of my life and we came up to the conclusion I'm demisexual, and now the puzzle makes much more sense.

[@BoomShikha]

Absolutely!

[@tamarayoung2534]

I'm all or nothing. I either don't want to be touched or I'm joining souls with you! It's funny that you said Autistic cause I score for Aspergers and INFJ on tests! I also can't handle bad breath. It's due to my sensitive sense of smell.

[@BoomShikha]

Yes, all or nothing. That's pretty much our personality. :)

[@angelamulligan3506]

Tamara Young me too

[@SadeMetsavirta]

I relate to this so much... I can either be completely asexual or fully obsessed with sex and romance when I have my new "target" haha

[@insanezenmistress]

you spoke the gospel for me. yup god sex or fuck off.

[@kimkangas8134]

I completely understand this, I'm glad you are bringing it up and hope to see more videos on this. thank you so much!!

[@BoomShikha]

Thank you for watching!!

[@lunac7454]

My sex drive fluctuates, but lately, I just don't have much of a drive to seek out sexual or romantic relationships. My friend joked that she was "worried about me" for not having the desire, but I am perfectly fine and comfortable with this and love being by myself. Others sometimes pathologize this, but they shouldn't. I just feel there's so much else out there in life than just sex and being with someone.

[@BoomShikha]

Hahah! Nah, no need to worry. I agree with you, there's so much more to life than sex, and also, sexual desire follows cycles too, naturally, like everything else on this planet and in our bodies.

[@claudiacardoza1107]

Interesting you use the word Energy. I feel the same way.. just can't wrap around exchanging energy with someone just cause it's expected. Hate to feel pressured, dating stresses me. I feel complicated some times. I would like someone very much, but getting there casually, just can't :(

[@BoomShikha]

Energy is paramount in my world. I judge everything by energy. I never ever touch bad energy people or situations, even with a long pole. :)

[@MoriJets]

i like your seriousness and kind of holding back on this topic....by the way the colour suits you well

[@BoomShikha]

Thanks for watching!

[@sagnikbanerjee4179]

I'm an INFJ. Been exploring stuffs to have a deeper understanding of my personality. Came across this channel. I have to have an emotional and mental connection before I could even think of having sex. To me, its not about getting physical, its about being vulnerable emotionally.

[@BoomShikha]

Thanks for sharing!!! And for being on my channel. :)

[@robertbauman40]

As an INFJ I'm interested in listening to your video's. You spoke about your energy circle and yoga. 98% of all humanity acknowledge some spiritual dimension to life. I have studied the 13 major world living religions. Sexual intimacy has a spiritual aspect with a pinnacle of extasy. If you acknowledge angels exist then you acknowledge some spiritual stuff.INFJ intuition element perceives the spiritual more than others. I suggest that INFJ's recognise wrong spirits and thus keep people out of the trust zone whether it is just friendship or intimacy we recognise the core element even if we have no formal knowledge on the spiritual world. It's just not body language we recognise we listen to tones of the voice and process so much.

[@BoomShikha]

Interesting perspective. Thanks for sharing!!

[@AzimutEleven]

I totally agree with you. :) When I do manicure, it's always weird, because sometimes I just feel the pain when the girl says she's sorry for going too deep on my skin :p About sex, I always feel things very deep and I'm like sooo surprised about the intensity of sensations. It's something kind of sacred to me, everytime it happens. And something strange happens too: I feel everything in my body, and it's awesome and everything, but most of all, I feel it in my head, wich gives the all moment a sense of wholeness that I think gives this idea that I'm all in to it (even when I'm not, because I never am, there's always something holding me back, a place deep inside that I never share. I think knowing ourselves so very well is the reason why we are such good lovers, when we love someone. I love hugs like crazy too, and people use to say my hugs are magical, I don't know why! I also prefer hugs to kisses. :)

[@BoomShikha]

:) Awww, thanks so much for this comment. It makes me so happy to hear some confirmations on my madness. :P Love hugs, though. They are a magical elixir.

[@gerbenhoutman9348]

As a male INFJ I had no problems like this. At least when I was younger, now maybe a little bit more. I think it has something to do with hormone levels. Maybe one reason women were so willing was because they felt we had a deep connection before we really did.

[@BoomShikha]

Yeah, I can imagine a male INFJ would be an awesome sexual partner - because he would be intuitive, and kind, and imaginative. :)

[@gerbenhoutman9348]

Boom Shikha thank you, I always put all of my focus on her and her needs. I wonder what it would be like between two INFJs.

[@rosebudsue3056]

Hi, can relate to the mind and body connection. Head games? What is desire? His hands moving on my body surfaces a different mindset, triggering mental feelings (Fi) and sensations (Si). My mind probes and analyzes. "What triggers his sexual awakening." I want to comprehend this mystery. For god's sake, I look in the mirror each day and I am seeing what he sees. Then I have to question his sexual POV. Not exactly mood enhancing for the sexual act. Answer: if the sexual act was only mental (other-worldly), things would be so simple. Married, single, any sexual preference by an INFJ, the question of sensations and feelings tease our mind. These unexplained puzzles are disconcerting. Comprehension for INFJs need deep intuition based understanding. Like "Love", the sexual act will always be a mental mystery to INFJs.

[@BoomShikha]

I love this comment. Yes, it is always a mental mystery for us. That's why we love analyzing it, and talking about it.

[@Ephesians5-14]

*active intimacy based on trust*.. couldn't have said it better. I think maybe Enneagram has to do with it too... I'm INFJ and have a high sex drive (enneagram 2) and enjoy the art of seduction.. but that doesn't necessarily mean I want to have sex with the person I'm 'seducing'. That's why I hesitate to flirt because I naturally read what the person wants/likes and play off of that. And if I have no intention of sleeping with them, why do that.. Sex with a person I trust, it's like primal, tantric, and transformative..

[@BoomShikha]

Yes, yes, yes. I spend a lot of time seducing people, because it's interesting to me (horrible I know), but I am not interested in developing anything after. Such a meanie, I am. :)

[@infjgirl3850]

Lmao the part about soulmates in your video: that was my ex when we broke up 😂 they would go on to say “oh but we’re soulmates! I know so much about you!” But then (because of our trust issues and unwillingness to reveal our true selves) I ended up responding with “dude, you actually only knew like 25% of the ‘real’ me throughout the time we’ve been together!” Which shocked them haha 😂

[@BoomShikha]

Bahahaha! 😝 😝

[@hadassahgavriella2116]

I'm a 30+ INFJ trans woman. I'm very much disconnected from my body. I didn't use to be so disconnected from it but it's the disgust and limitations I feel in this flesh ...with this flesh. Of course contrary to that I'm very kinky and have a drive but I'm finding myself comfortable focusing more and more on spirituality solely. Sexuality and spirituality have been fairly balanced in my life but I've always been a religious studies nerd. It's an interesting place to be. I am in a relationship which is focused on so many other things right now. I'm definitely feeling something good should develope from this focusing time... as long as I get to cuddle him. 😋 I have so much more to say but I'll leave it at that for now. Thank you so much for your videos ! - Hadassah

[@BoomShikha]

Thank you so much for sharing, Hadassah!!! I am so grateful for your support, and for sharing yourself with me. :)

[@ravishingtwinkle3811]

As an Infj I look at sex as emotional experience but only with the lover. Infj friends can be intense at anything even if it's sex.

[@BoomShikha]

Yes, agreed! 😍😍😍

[@futureisfemale2123]

Thanks so much for choosing this topic 👍❤️🥂

[@BoomShikha]

You are so welcome! 💜 💙

[@choccomonde]

@boom , thank you ! I though that I had pathological trust issues and love-ophobia, but this makes perfect sense. When I go for a run in the morning I imagine big heart chasing me and I run like super exhausted Usain Bolt. I tell people ''I am persistently resisting falling in love, to the point when I feel that I like someone (Almost) I back up, because I cannot allow that person to enter my head, let alone my energetic and physical space.'' I have a trip that everything will crumble and that I'll loose my balance that I worked so hard on.. But of course, falling in love with the right person is my greatest guest and wish

[@BoomShikha]

Thanks for watching! ♥️

[@Kieran-og1ev]

Interesting to hear another INFJ’s views on things! Just so you know, in a gay relationship, there is no “man and woman” role; it’s two men. If they wanted to be with a woman they’d be with a woman :-p

[@BoomShikha]

Awesome! Thanks for sharing!

[@FifthAssassin]

Great video! Ughh but i have so many questions. I recently met an infj.......I'm introverted as well. Starting to feel distance from her, never has been the one to initiate daily contact,but will always answer back. And We've had several 3 hour phone conversations. We've even shared soft kisses on 2 separate occasions. But still sensing so much distance. Ive never met anyone else like her in 43 years. Not the sweetest person thus far,but the one that absolutely has captured my heart.

[@BoomShikha]

Yeah, take a look at my other videos on dating an INFJ. We need a lot of space, and a lot of time to begin trusting someone!! I mean, a lot!! So don't worry. If she's engaging with you, it means she's still interested. :)

[@jpedrovianna]

The thing that you said about being disconected from the body now makes a lot of sense to me.. Since I'm very young I don't have sensitivity for pain.. Like, I broke one of my arms once and just realized hours later because my arms were like purple/red.. I had an acident with one of my fingers where I lost a piece of my finger and I have not felt pain..

[@BoomShikha]

Oh my god!! That's insane that you broke your arm and didn't feel it. :S

[@Empress-og5st]

I know all about vibrations I stay away from people because they're vibration is so under meet me or so low that it just drains me my friend I understand his I just found out about him but he was so draining because he was so negative and the more I tried to help him to be positive it drained me of my energy so I don't know what to do I don't know how to deal with it because I love him he has taught me a lot about myself and you know as a Pisces we have to size to us when we first met he saw the side that I always tried to show because we all have a dark side and I try not to bet that part out or let anyone see that part of me and he knew I was hiding but I didn't know how to explain it to him because I am the kind of person that is in love with love🙏

[@BoomShikha]

Yeah, negative people can be extremely draining to us particularly because we are empaths and we are really good at taking on other people's stuff. Thanks for sharing your story. :)

[@eileennoella]

I think that finding people who are ready to let go for an INFJ is easy, but for us to trust back is not a guarantee. But once we find someone we are very comfortable with and we can finally trust them, we are comfortable being intimate with them. But that might take a lot of years for some, for others it can be faster.

[@BoomShikha]

Yes, a long time for me.. A long, long time. :)

[@lowellmiller6663]

Some of the symptoms you are describing I would say could also be effects of past trauma.

[@BoomShikha]

Thank you for sharing!!!

[@s.v.gadder1443]

very much, but I have to have a connection with that person. I honesty can't have 1 night stands or random encounters, theres has to be feelings for me

[@BoomShikha]

Exactly. :)

[@taja8379]

I know what you mean, I can still remember my first high school party, people were chastising each other around like dogs in heat, I was shocked, I left I felt like I was in a bad movie. I liked looking at girls but just couldn't get past that barrier.

[@BoomShikha]

Yikes, I can imagine. :)

[@shirleyware9059]

Trust is a very big deal for me and I trust very few people.

[@BoomShikha]

Yes!

[@choccomonde]

Hahahah yeah we do ask ourselvs, how do they do it, why this way, why not that way ? so funny, brain stop ! Also this thing about ''we are out of our bodies'' it is so true even Jung said that NFs tend to be hypochondriac, because we are not in tune,so to speak, with our bodies, we don't get them, unlike people with dominant function Sensing, who are physicality masters. I would really like to do research about sex preferences with different MBTIs.. great video

[@BoomShikha]

Thank you! 😊

[@joyousprairies9313]

I could easily be celibate. But I am in a 20 year marriage. My poor husband! I understand the dislike of being touched. My husband is very affectionate. I have put up walls to him. He has earned my trust but it is so difficult to let those walls down. They seem to be a practiced art. Sexual relations between us have always been amazing when I allow myself to be present. I completely relate to being horrified by the idea of being intimate with someone else. The idea of anyone other than my husband makes my skin crawl and I want to go scrub myself even thinking about it.

[@BoomShikha]

Thank you for sharing!

[@Impericalevidence]

I like being single, but I've been single a long time. I don't mind physical contact, even with strangers, but part of that is my "work" that I do. I've heard it said infj know others better than they know themselves, but that is a generalization, and some infj know themselves very well. I do what I do in my local life, I have put in the ground work and many people know me and love me, infj can appear to be extroverts. But, sexuality, I have to admit, is something I avoid. I turn down sex nearly constantly, and my closer friends tell me to go for it. Not that I'm incapable.

[@BoomShikha]

Thank you for sharing your experiences with us!! Nice to hear an INFJ male's perspective on this.

[@danstalter]

I'm only on my second video on your channel, and I already know that I'm going to be learning a lot about myself from now in, whenever I feel the need to binge out on KZbin psyche videos🤙🔥💯💥🤘😂✔👌

[@BoomShikha]

Awwww, thanks Dan!!! I hope you enjoy my videos, and let me know if you have any video suggestions for me.

[@mtoddvan]

Hum.. Hi! Older INSJ Male. What I've found myself, varies. Generally speaking I find that sex ends up being several combinations depending upon the relationship first pleasing the person I'm with, using all my observations & testing to discover what is & isn't pleasurable for them, with little regard to myself (with exceptions & boundaries of course) this also allows for me either being dominant or semi submissive (depending on trust levels). I prefer of course being in a relationship with someone I've got trust & deep emotions (rare to find & hard to keep) for I become overly addalitcal, attentive & misunderstood when I need time alone to recharge. Being to much of an Introvert & not socially active I've discovered can lead to encounters for contact (one night stand, hook ups) which in the moment are gratifying, but longer term destructive & self questioning. Of course being INSJ I feel unique & misunderstood. I also have first responders PTSD that effects my emotions to extremes, so I'm not a typical INSJ. Tried to keep this short & lol of course at a semi reserved level. I'd be interested in your opinion. Thank you!

[@BoomShikha]

Thanks for sharing, Mark! I always prefer being in a long-term relationship rather than a one-night stand. It's a given. :)

[@mtoddvan]

Boom Shikha ;-)

[@Invisbleflame1]

Another word for us infj is angel we are human angels we tend to spend more of our time in the spirit world rather than the real one although the evidence of the spiritual world is seen in the physical. As for sex it is when two seoerate objects for a short time become one with one another. Of course if you look at today's world and its society people hook up like its no big deal which is why it doesn't work for me, I've been single for my whole 28 year almost 29 years the need for connection is strong but I'm the last of my kind its rare to find another like me that's of the opposite gender. And as for not being in our bodies its a lot like floating or gliding like a bird on air, half my cuts scares and burns I didn't know about them until I either saw blood or noticed a healing wound.

[@BoomShikha]

Yeah, I get hurt all the time and I never notice it, until as you said, I notice a healing wound, or some blood on my shirt, or something. It's so interesting to me, how aware we can be in some ways, and how clueless in others. :)

[@kaarikeaton6712]

Jonathan Rawls we are Angels and empaths😇💕

[@mahadrox]

Hey guys, writing this as a fellow infj, hope you all are good. Guys what i find to be the most helpful to me, now open your mind cuz its about to be blown, is that most people dont give two sh*** or less about anything and we as infjs seem to concerned with the 'sacredness' the 'holiness' of all things and that is just too much. Things arent so sacred in todays society, wor ds and comments are like trash, anyone and everyone has some. Dooesnt mean we look at it with our hearts opem. So what ive learne d is to meet people and things halfway. Thats right, halfass youre way out cux the sacredness were seeking is not available. Instead, using people and things to our own benefit and getting rid of them is our only solution as those others can and will survive, but you know we cant, its too hard too painful too difficult. So meet ppl halfway, use things to your advantage and be an as**ole on purpose to feel normal, else we aremt supposed to be on this plant we too good for these petty humans and their social media trends. Peace and love to you all.

[@BoomShikha]

Thank you so much for watching, and commenting!! I really appreciate the support. :) Hope you have a great day.

[@mahadrox]

Boom Shikha ofcourse, its a rare step for us, and you as our means, to speak of the unspoken😊

[@BoomShikha]

Thank you Mahad!! :)

[@sillysausage2244]

I enjoy sex, but it's one of those things that doesn't bear analysing too much, cos unless you're trying to create a child, it becomes illogical and a bit bizarre in my mind... I like someone else to initiate ('open the door'), and then I'm overwhelming in my passion. I would only initiate if I was certain my partner was receptive. Fussy about partners though!!

[@BoomShikha]

Oh yes! I am very fussy about partners. :) Also, I would only initiate if I knew for sure that my potential partner was so into me, it could never fail. :) No wonder I am single. #SingleINFJsUnite

[@lisaa6099]

Interesting- id love to hear an update on your thoughts and experiences as an INFJ - negotiating your way through sexuality. Cheers thumbs up from me

[@BoomShikha]

Will add it to my list! 🙌🙌

[@jex_be]

Some can feel how comfortable they are without understanding how but is this reciprocal ... I think it is somethng related about close minded boundaries vs let it go balance.

[@BoomShikha]

Interesting!! Thanks for sharing. :)

[@theothererik1128]

Well. This will be a long and unpopular opinion. I am an INFJ male (also Enneagram4 -- Identity/Romantic), "saved", and gay. I've always been hyper-aware, hyper-emotional, hyper-sexual (even before puberty.) But I also realized very early (young) that I needed to restrain my very intense, powerful personality -- I hurt easily, and I can hurt others easily too. I did everything early-- crawled, walked, spoke in full sentences, was self-aware. Strangely, my parents (divorced by the time I was 2) are not self-aware like I am. I must have made a decision very young to be the opposite of what each of them were (because they were not enough for me.) My father: cold, stingy, a rage-aholic, a sociopath, a total narcissist. I became charming, overly-empathic, hyper-sensitive, tactile, but also the obverse of narcissism: hyper-vigilant, withdrawn, depressive. My mother feels love, thinks she is loving but doesn't know how, runs hot-and-cold, has difficulty expressing herself, asserting herself. I became exceptionally articulate, intimacy-dominated, unwavering. But all these things, all these in high-focus come/came at a high price -- it's exhausting. I was "born-again" or saved or whatever term you want to use -- at about age 4. I became aware of my "differing" sexuality no later than 1st grade (U.S.) -- arrival at puberty only confirmed what I "knew" already. I have always despised my homosexuality, finding it displeasing to God (which isn't exactly true -- I know that God loves me unconditionally, all-encompassingly...). My sexuality became another (major-) thing to restrain. I am aware that I am different -- even among those who are different. I realize I am an extreme case. And, yes, I am mentally ill -- how could I not be?! (Just like: How could I not be gay!?) To me, touch is sacred. I love to touch. But I do not touch, because it is so very important to me; I restrain, I reserve touch for those with whom i would be (theoretically) intimate. But I cannot be sexually intimate because I would choose a man, which is unacceptable. People mistakenly think I am aloof, and unromantic -- but the opposite is the truth, I am overly-romantic, overly-passionate, overly-sensual. But I must keep it to myself, restrain, because the (theoretical) object of my affection would be unacceptable. I am certainly not oblivious to my body, or disconnected -- I am painfully aware. And yet I have come to choose "abstinence" anyway. It's terrible. It's terribly lonely. Yet it cannot be otherwise. (I'll spell it plainly for those who are slow on the uptake: I have chosen to put my morality before my happiness. This is a terrible thing. Yet it cannot be otherwise.)(If this is not an "INFJ thing", I do not know what else is!!) I crave intimacy on every level, but I realize this is unrealistic! Yet I cannot be otherwise. I am slow to trust, yes. But I would (theoretically) throw that all away for the "right" person -- which would only be an unacceptable choice (How's that for convoluted!?) I have given myself as an example. I know I have also presented a big target for "haters." I guess I am willing to endure the hate because the truth is more important. Ask as many questions as you may have. Answers will be honest, if unwelcome. ~E

[@BoomShikha]

Thank you for sharing! ❤❤❤

[@inimegblue7263]

Infj-a Male here. I relate to a lot of what you're saying man.

[@theothererik1128]

@@inimegblue7263 You have my utmost condolences. I am an INFJ-T (clearly...) I find myself asking, "Can I be someone else yet?" My only answer is Jesus, patience, and delayed-gratification. It's a tough and lonely road. gwg

[@inimegblue7263]

It's a struggle. An unfortunate and probably an unfair one. I'd like to talk about all this with you. You wanna email?

[@theothererik1128]

@@inimegblue7263 I am willing. But how would that work, exactly? KZbin (Google) is the definition of un-secured. To exchange email addresses here would be unwise. :-(

[@MsDee-iw7cf]

I can relate. I think sex is to be shared with someone I truly love and trust. This is why I detest one night stand. If I ever do it, and ended up not seeing the guy again, I would feel so rejected and dirty...well that’s just me. And you’re right about personal space. My radar goes off when someone I don’t know encroach on my personal space. I would say excuse me, can I help you right away. I want to know their intentions right away. I don’t want to sound snobby or mean but I need to know if you mean well so I know how to deal with you. I dont like being blindsided or make a fool of myself. If anyone does that - then you get the door slam treatment. Well just my opinion

[@BoomShikha]

Yes!!! Thanks for sharing.

[@RamonGoudeauDoneX2]

As an infj male, the physical part of sex doesn't mean much to me. Its important, but the mental part connects before the physical. I get treated as if something is wrong with me because I dont pursue a physical relationship as vigorously or as completely as I would a mental relationship. I front and act as how I guess in supposed to, but internally I dont work like that. I almost have to " leave" and come back in- through my head.

[@BoomShikha]

Absolutely!!!

[@darkangel8922]

Marriage is creation of human society,a perception created by people for balance in society...But love and sex are real physical and psychological needs...But who and how you love or have sex is a matter of huge variety among different individuals.Based on their personality and experience etc....

[@BoomShikha]

Thank you so much for watching, and commenting!! I really appreciate the support. :) Hope you have a great day.

[@jeremy_lconsmule9701]

Many people think I’m crazy because I don’t like sexual stuff and have been alone since February of 2002 and I never even think about that whatsoever ✅

[@BoomShikha]

Yeah, it's an odd thing. We can be so passionate once we are in a relationship, but until we are, we don't think about it at all. :)

[@jeremy_lconsmule9701]

Boom Shikha I heard that

[@jeremy_lconsmule9701]

Boom Shikha what about sleeping do you sleep I rarely sleep

[@Kalima1231]

Sexuality is about trust but when you find the right person who is totally trustworthy and has proven themselves to be trustworthy, sex can be amazing. And even not having a whole lot of sex in the relationship or any after many years together is tolerable because you have such a deeper connection with that person. You have sex on an emotional and spiritual level not a physical one. Them doing the grocery shopping when you can't handle crowds that day, picking up a prescription, calling you during the day just to hear your voice because they miss you all are sex in a way. And being single is right for some people but being in a 26 year relationship with my best friend who gives me the space I need to be on my own and have my alone time has been the most fulfilling part of my life for all that time. I think real, honest, communication based relationships can be very growth oriented for us INFJ's when we find the right person.

[@BoomShikha]

Yes indeed!

[@huda-ih9mz]

Ciao. Well..when you talked about body disconnection i thought you were talking exactly about me (well... bc i'm an INFJ too, that's obvious). The fact is that i was thinking in those days about my body disconnection, i really admire Sensors because they are able to live in the moment and feel their body, they are aware of it. As regard me, i'm always in my head that i have to do an effort in order to become aware of my body but it lasts for a while, i can't take it longer. When i have those thoughts i try to massage my muscles and stretch and thats the only way i have to feel my body. I also think about what kind of sport i can do in order to connect with my body....is Yoga a good work? Can you give me advices because i really feel the need to get that self-awareness. Thank you.❤

[@BoomShikha]

I have found that for me, yoga and meditation have been the twin ways that I have constantly come into my body. There is nothing else out there for me. :)

[@darkangel8922]

It's a very interesting and important subject for INFJ's...Sex and job are most common thing among people...but as INFJs are rare,their take on those matters should be different as well i think..as is my case..i dont want marriage...

[@BoomShikha]

Yeah, that makes sense. Marriage to me seems like a waste of time as well.

[@darkangel8922]

actually its marriage and job,not sex and job lol...

[@kerenohr1705]

Wow! Me exactly..thanks for your energy and info!🤗

[@BoomShikha]

You are absolutely welcome!!

[@justingooligan7059]

ye.. i have no clue basically - being objectified turns me off(no regard to my brain) -but i want to look sexy (perfectionism) -when i get to be intimate i get stressed ... ITS totally screwed up.. ha ha..

[@BoomShikha]

Hahaha!! Yup. We are doomed. :P #SingleINFJsUnite

[@candacecasey5634]

I hate being objectified but if it's clear that a guy admires me " from the inside out " I find him irresistible ( that's how I found my husband)

[@Bayo106]

saaaaaame

[@emanuelmayer]

strangely, it is almost too easy to be a single ...

[@BoomShikha]

Agreed!

[@josephrollins4505]

I’m an INFJ, but I’m more interested in the barriers with a person. I’d like to know why they are their and how do those barriers feel for the person who’s putting them up. Even though I have barriers, it’s best to understand how another person treats there barriers or my own. Because barriers have feelings too. And if everyone can respect each other’s barriers. The world would be a better place. So please when we all get the chance. Yes we, I included. Give your barriers a big hug and say thank you and I love you. I’m so awkward. No seriously the person that’s typing this comment is socially awkward. 🙂

[@BoomShikha]

Love the share!! Thank you.

[@msko5180]

Thank you! This is sooo relaxing to listen know... I actually wanna write everything in my head that keeps me anxcious (?) about sex, and ı wanna write how much I relate to you like every other Infj around in the comments but I can't describe it as I want because my English sucks.... So I give up writing but, just, simply, thanks. I see every Infj wants to talk and write and share their own story when they found something relatable and something worth thinking and talking for. I can see it in the comments and wow, look at them... There is so so much important thoughts and anylasiss (?) in here, always beautifull and complex... 💙

[@BoomShikha]

So happy to have you here.

[@testimusicali6445]

I think you overgeneralized and are using aspects that are not necessarily personality, but other explanations. Actually, you mention things that sound anti-INFJ. I see many here are commenting on soul merging which sounds very INFJ, but you describe "clinical". Well, soul merging does not seem to be a clinical thing. Also you don't consider biological states that vary from person to person (and not personality). Like #1 painless stubbing your toe could be diabetes. #2 "horny" (libido) maybe about hormone levels. Although what you say about trust, could either be result of #1 personality trait _OR_ #2 painful past experiences. Bottomline I think you overgeneralized here, way off.... and if it rings true for someone it may not be because they are INFJ.

[@BoomShikha]

Thanks for sharing your analysis!!

[@allygarr8928]

Yeah I agree. I’m an infj who has a relatively high libido. I crave sex, but it’s still hard for me to be in the moment during it. I try my best though. I guess I have to have really specific things in the right places- I have to feel sexy and clean, I have to feel like my partner is out of control in lust with me, and I have to feel like it’s happening naturally. So I don’t know if I really agree with her point and analysis just cause I feel like libido is such a big factor.

[@Ceraii]

Maybe it's because I am a male INFJ but I've never had a problem with the act itself. Difficulties getting yes. But actually doing it has never been a problem. Maybe I need a stronger vetting process. I just get excited about learning about what they like. Do they like this or do they like that? Maybe I'm just weird even for an INFJ.

[@BoomShikha]

Hehehe. Thanks for sharing. There are as many kinds of INFJs out there, as there are grains of sands on the beach. :)

[@sherly7000]

I don't know if it's just me but I just feel like a lot of INFJ have fearful avoidant attachment style. I think I do cause I feel threaten whenever a person comes close to me, even when I know they don't have any bad intention. But from what u just talked about...I'm starting to think if that's the case with all the INFJs?

[@BoomShikha]

Yes, you are so right!!!! I will do a video about this soon. :)

[@tontis100]

I can some what relate to this. As an INFJ female, i do have a lot my sexual energy (maybe i have a high libido idk) which i tend to release via porn and masturbation, but i can never work up the courage to do it with a real person. I guess i haven't found the right person yet and i feel very uncomfortable doing a one night stand. However, i do long for that physical connection with someone and when im really in the mood i just think, fuck it, I'd do it with just about anyone right now. Idk if I'll ever get the courage to do that though. That requires a whole bunch of socialising and extraversion that I dont have enough energy for. Idk but hopefully one day I'll find the one.

[@BoomShikha]

Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. Just the thought of all of that socialization makes me cringe. :P

[@mrhappy2033]

For me sex is away of connecting on a more spiritual level and to share in exsporing each other in a none verbal way sharing the sensations connection and what pleasure I can give to my partner I'm not into one nightstands or talking about the mechanics of the act or who I have or haven't slept with 😅 I have to be a hundred percent about her before I would sleep with her And that can lead to other issues like they think I'm not intrested in them or find them unattractive ok sometimes I'm not but only sometimes Hmmm that leads me to ask dose that mean I'm to cautious and miss out or am I just being wise 🤯

[@BoomShikha]

Yes! I know what you mean. It's hard because it's the balance we seek, not to be too cautious and not to be too trusting. :)

[@PathToSuccess-tv5zv]

I believe I am also an INFJ. I just found out about it honestly. Still processing it. I have my doubts, like maybe I just want to be one, but am not one. However I have ticked off all the boxes for one. It's always on my mind. Ya know, like what if I am, what if I am. I'm a lesbian, I very much find the female form very attractive. Have even managed a little self-love.

[@BoomShikha]

Thanks for sharing, Taleisha!! I hope that you have an awesome life whatever you figure out. :)

[@Freddyandhiskittyfriends]

I'm thinking about starting an ENTP blog video like you how do you start one?

[@odinthor5769]

Side note. How do you feel about differnt types of people who wisper in ur ear. For me it differs from i dont mind it, wow that was awasom to if this person doesnt get away from me ill raise hell its self. I dont like that on or the people who cause it. Its like being hit with a 20 foot hammer of evil or something. Love the videos ive been walkin the earth for 34 years thinkin there was something wrong with me and alone never realising i wasnt and that infj was a thing. Finding this out realy conected alot of dots in life.

[@BoomShikha]

Eeek, I hate anyone who comes so close to me. Why??

[@odinthor5769]

Boom Shikha just tryin to figure out why when some people do i get over wellmed and feel like i would rather explod just to get away from them. For example my ex her mom would cause that and she was one of the worst people i have ever met. Yet other people i dont get anywhere close to the same feeling. Even though im 34 and delt with this all my life knowing what an infj and all the others are is vary new to me

[@ifonlyunu994]

my infj friend is so weird. last week she told me she doesn't have sex. i responded with a blank stare. i accept her the way she is with no judgement. i'm entp.

[@BoomShikha]

I love ENTPs - you guys are so great and accepting of INFJs.

[@ayoubbouras3065]

Im gay infj ! And I did think that i can do sex so easly ! But when i tried ! It felt so strange haha like something missing ! And i thought there is something wrong with me and i have never did the sex again ! Now i think i just chosed the wrong person !

[@GHOSTCICERO]

ayoub bouras Omgawd i always think that something was missing when i even kiss another guy...i be likeee hmmm 🤔

[@ayoubbouras3065]

Oooh me too i see that he is enjoying it but im analizing it lool

[@BoomShikha]

Oh you guys are just awesome. Yes, I analyze my kisses, too. I am in my head thinking, how is this, what's going on, why is he doing that, does he think that's supposed to be pleasurable?? :P

[@ayoubbouras3065]

Hahaha same quetions !!

[@sillysausage2244]

I'm an INFgay too! 😊 Growing up I thought ppl found me strange because I was gay, but then discovered it's the INFJ thing that weirded many ppl out - our penetrating gaze, unusual way of operating, and seemingly supernatural way of receiving information and solutions...

[@malitiaalicia]

this video was so interesting to me. i am a married infj female and i can honestly say that i do not care about sex. i have sex because my husband wants it, it makes him happy. i personally never think of it. to me an intimate connection is when my husband says something that he has noticed about me (if that makes sense) only once i am sure that my husband wants me specifically and isnt just generally horny do i even begin to think about being "turned on"

[@BoomShikha]

I think a lot of INFJs have a disconnection between their mind and body, which results in a sort of asexuality - but I'm not an expert on the matter. It's just a theory I have. :)

[@robertallain8966]

I just love your aspects and takes on our personality types . I myself am an INFJ and am an Aquarius on the cusp of piece's so I am double / x2 with a twist on just being an INFJ . any advice for me lol...... im so fk'd....

[@BoomShikha]

Hahahah!! I am a Virgo, and I assure you, I am not any better. :P

[@MsDee-iw7cf]

OMG I’m an INFJ and Aquarius too. I’ve taken the MBTI five times throughout my life, the last one was just a month ago. The result has never changed. Once an INFJ always an I NFJ.

[@insanezenmistress]

Thank you for helping me clarify which letter i am. Always thought i was the inTj....(i am though) or the inFj. (absolutely) Anywhoo...Sexuality, i am glad to know i am not alone in those feelings. I cannot initiate I cannot flirt on purpose...yet i exude sexual energy randomly. (unwittingly) I hate it when i like someone that way, i wont dare approach, i just pine for months and months but dont really even dream or think over the sex part...the thinking of the doing is disgusting to me. And i dig your mind body thing. If i like someone who has sweet submissive energy i find i have to think about the sex in a role play manor...i have to build a sexual orchestration. (har har whose gonna wait and play along with your fantasy? AM i right? But then, when i meet a person interested in me and they really send that strong dominate energy, and i am receptive...then i shut the heck down. So far down that I swear you can be talking about sex stuff with me using, my own name but i cant hear/relate that you wanna do nasty stuff ,( with me?)..(and so do i but i can NOT make myself do the do) Like a catatonic mouse. Anyhoo..... I dont know bout other people but for me, there is a trigger to connect me to that body sex tigress moment. That is....a particular body part that i have has to be approached first. (no details here just saying that find the body part that you own that comforts you when it is touched, that part is the connecting part. Like a silver cord. )

[@BoomShikha]

I love this comment!! You've shared a lot of what happens with me during relationships and sex. It's such an interesting world we live in that we can chat about this freely. I remember when I was younger, I wanted to chat about sex more, but no one felt comfortable to do so. Thanks for sharing your insights!!

[@myrkvir6500]

People like sex. Got it. I'm INFJ and waited until I found the right person at age 20. Waiting until you find someone you click with is worth it, but you've got to put yourself out there. Chances are the people you will most probably like are not very social, and are waiting for you to ask them. I litterally knew my now fiance for years before we got together. Finally, one day as we were watching lord of the rings I reached out my hand and she took it. Best. Day. Ever.

[@BoomShikha]

Awwwww!! That's so sweet. Thanks for sharing. :)

[@darkangel8922]

Hahaa,,so looks like all INFJ's like LOTR...

[@darkangel8922]

btw,,did u give her that one ring in engagement..lol

[@myrkvir6500]

+Arif Ahmed That's a good idea, but no I didn't think of that. We jumped right to getting the marriage rings, as talking about getting married and having kids just came naturally along with everything else.

[@ravindraharricharan9606]

Boom. I have to have an mental connection to whome im with. But dont find them. The last few years i had to do hard core drugs to bring myself tothere level. I have given up a bit. I havent been with someone in 10 years. Cause im around the " natives" i am proud of my self now cause i understand myself now. Thank you again for doing what you do.

[@BoomShikha]

So glad to hear that!! Loving yourself is the best therapy there is. ❤❤❤