New Age Narcissists & Psychopaths... They're More Common Than You'd Think

[@anta3612]

"I don't get attached" really translates as "I don't do responsibility".

[@NickyM_0]

and it speaks an excuse to 'abandon' ie the narcissistic 'discard'.

[@michaelaturner8996]

the spiritual narcissist also says, "I don't have to be responsible for anything, because I'm spiritual."

[@srinigypsy]

"negative energy" lol..

[@ihsanninaamg228]

Fuck, this is wow

[@barrydworak]

While I try to keep an open mind, my decades of life experience says that "spiritual narcissist" is redundant. That includes everything from conservative religion to liberal new age.

[@NickyM_0]

'And I am God, man'

[@BeVal]

"NO attachments", the funny thing is that they are actually attached to the non-attachment idea

[@InnerIntegration]

Hahaha

[@BigHeartNoBS]

My narc has been a yoga instructor for years and uses this as a way to disguise her narcissism ("since I'm a yoga teacher, people will listen to me because I am so great and enlightened and spiritual") . Beware.

[@anta3612]

I had someone try to tell me that "everything is as it should be". I thought it was such a crock! Didn't make any sense. They weren't a narcissist but still steeped in New Age philosophy.

[@Moonmaedyn]

Not to mention, since they are the masters of manipulation, they can AND DO manipulate the therapist.

[@LeonieTunes]

Sometimes they ARE the therapist.

[@NickyM_0]

Yes to both!

[@BobTheSchipperke]

Want a “spiritual narcissist” out of your life? Whatever book they love say “It’s not for me, but each to their own.” Make sure to then stand back. It was the end for me with two of them. I thanked them silently then moved on.

[@janvishah2539]

I love this! Its also great advice!

[@Mithreniel]

Yeah someone chill would be like "oh, okie" -shrugs- then doesn't take it personally.

[@PeaceDayCortez]

You're amazing! Keep doing what you're doing, I wouldn't be on my way to recovery without your help and I'm beyond thankful for you as a caring loving human Meredith! You have definitely found your calling in life! Keep up the great work! - Dori

[@puppysnatcher4533]

As someone who awakened to the realization that I had been emotionally/mentally manipulated in my youth I tried to find help through "spiritual" or new age teachings but after years I realized that it's these teachings come from the abusers/manipulators to proliferate more abusers/manipulators which in turn will cause those who were manipulated/abused to do the same. The other sad part is that these same people are also in positions of power over the places and activities meant to help heal us from these abuses.

[@rahmasamir909]

Let your Heart and soul guide you they know the way 💚🌹

[@NickyM_0]

@PuppySnatcher Why are people in the West permanently in pain, dissatisfied and held hostage to permanent and 'tragic' victimhood? No other culture has this propensity for this like the West. No other culture on earth HATES their Parents like supposedly adult children of the West. Other cultures honour, respect and LOVE their very strict and disciplined Parents and rarely feel they were abused. Why is the West so different? The West seems such a dark, unforgiving, toxic, unloving, disconnected and very SELF-centred society.

[@sydperson1802]

"People are gonna be mad about me saying this but eff them". These kind of videos are magic.

[@Gloria_All_Day]

Syd Person That is NOT true. I lived this for 23 years. Every word she said is true. We did the counseling. It was just to give me a little hope in our relationship. As he has done for many years. He did this to keep me from leaving. It took me a very very long time to comprehend what was going on. And listened to hundreds of people whose been in it all their lives for 40 and 50 years. And I learned this that if they don't get mental help, they get worst when they get older. You live and learn.

[@sydperson1802]

What is not true? Maybe take a better look where you click when you reply to a comment?

[@cherylcampbell9369]

@@Gloria_All_Day You TOTALLY misconstrued his comment. Read what it actually said.

[@americablessgod1273]

Ahhh! Got it! You said 3: Is he denying? Is he justifying? Is he blame shifting? Gotcha! Thanks so much!

[@thepaintedlady4637]

Wow, the point about how the spiritual narc will use the "I'm more enlightened because I'm not attached to anyone" to excuse and justify their triangulating and lack of monogamy. I knew someone like this, who followed this exact playbook. He also used the idea of unconditional love against his targets, by implying that if one did not accept him for who he was and every abusive thing he did, you were not living up to this spiritual ideal and therefore were somehow not an enlightened individual.

[@calentorratejeda3543]

fuck them spirituals

[@SuperLucylola]

@@calentorratejeda3543 lol

[@oakandlotus2920]

Ohhh, yes- triangulation... good observation. That’s exactly what it is!

[@NickyM_0]

Yep! That's the manipulation.

[@Moonbunny55]

Yes!! The past year of my life has taught me that the spiritual arena is LOADED with covert narcs. I'm finding it hard who to trust these daze.

[@charity6372]

You are such a beautiful soul. Thank you for your insights as always. My mother was a classic borderline and while she's been dead for more than a decade, I still struggle with the effects of her abuse. Even at 40 yrs old I still stuggle. It's real. It's very real... Blessings

[@thomasburns5195]

New-age narcs dance around you with the fanciest language. I have learned not to listen to their words but instead to observe their behavior. Their behavior tells you all you need to know.

[@NickyM_0]

So true! Never doubt what you see.

[@ena7963]

You are talking about an important subject. My ex narc used to use spiritual teachings to justify why it was ok to have sex with multiple partners. Prior to that when he was hoovering me to try to get me back- for 2 years he mirrored my life and my beliefs which is manoghamy and I mistakenly took that as a sign he was changing but he was just playing his sick game of “the thrill of the hunt” - as soon as I went back he started immediate triangulation and actually would smirk in delight when I would get upset. It became so toxic it made me physically ill and it took me 4 years of walking thru HELL to get away from him for good. Ive completely eliminated him from my life in all ways. When he was trying to get me back he worked VERY hard at convincing me that he changed. He didnt change- he just got smarter on how to con. He was even telljng me he didnt want multiple sex partners- that I was his soulmate- hes learned his lesson- I was the only one for him yada yada. He kept this up for 2 years snd Im not exaggerating- the DAY I moved back home- he started the triangulation. We couldnt even go out to dinner without him flirting with the waitress! The best thing I did was to get out of that relationship. I feel bad for his next victim and all the others that will come after her....

[@NickyM_0]

Yes, the narcissistic 'smirk'.

[@originalsongsbyadam2883]

I'm pausing around 09:15 to comment. The false humanitarian humility and monologues used to fool me time and again. I though these people were kind and brilliant, despite often dreading their calls and company, and becoming drained of energy after even short encounters. Aside from the gut feeling I get, which I am just now beginning to listen to, the one thing people can look for, or one of the things at least, is what I call theatrical humility. It is just perfect. The head hangs slightly or bobs almost graciously, the tone is melodic but slightly overdone, the eyes are softened and the posture is mildly bashful(or lacking bashfulness altogether), but you just don't feel anything despite the perfect words, tone, and posture. I also always find that the same people who do this give me a feeling that I should never question them or speak up to them, whether they are a 4ft tall lady or a 7ft giant of a man. The vibe is the same. You can always speak up to a truly empathic and humble person. They will feel like an open door, an authentic one, while the person who plays that role but isn't really that way, will make you feel like they have opened the door, but will not let you look inside the house; it's open but it's not. If anyone wants to get better at spotting this, go to a mirror, imitate this to yourself, and don't do it if you are feeling humble or full of empathy. Do it when you feel "matter of fact", angry, or maybe a little fiery or full of yourself, or even just after buying a new sports car from your big raise at work. It's a pretty tough thing to fake if you're not a faker. But give it a few tries, and you'll creep yourself out, and better yet, you'll start being able to spot it in people if you can't already. I was not very good at reading non-verbal cues. I took everything at face value. That said, everything is a pattern. Once you can identify a pattern, you never forget how to spot it.

[@ThatSoundsLovely]

OriginalSongs ByAdam this is a great comment. Well spotted. I'm gonna look out for this.

[@trance212]

Boom!! Wow, very descriptive and the same EXACT description I intuitively came to the conclusion of.

[@deannawanzo7629]

That comment was beyond profound to me. I read it 33 yrs too late to save myself and my close relationships I'd had up to meeting my malignant narc ex husband. Keep spreading truth, people out there are in desperate need.

[@jennym007]

OriginalSongs ByAdam I realise this is from a year ago but I just wanted to tell you how profound your comment is! I understand it came from your heart and the TRUTH it speaks is amazing. Lots of love and respect to you 💕💕💕💕💕💕

[@mp-pl8rw]

Wow Meredith, excellent description of the spiritual narc ! It's so nice when someone can put into words what you've felt in so many occasions but couldn't pinpoint. We need more truth in our world, enough with the hypocrisy.

[@nryane]

Wow! The narcissist does much of this. He leads two support groups with people who have a chronic illness. His "way of giving back". Perfect way to get a narc harem or even new supply.

[@blossom654]

Meredith, good one! Shadow work in groups have been a Real disaster for me. Some people 'call-out' your shadow, which can work, BUT veeeery easily be abused. The weird thing was that it worked...but like Medicine from the drugstore, it had unhealthy side effects!! I wasnt even sure if all of it was true, if it was mine or was that denial ?!?! I felt healed and crappy-confused at the same time. If you feel up to doing a video on this It'd be great! Also, I have had real difficulty looking at my responsibility w contolling people/ narcs. Some of it was because it was so painful I had let the situation go so far, and it/I had hurt and abandoned myself and other people too. But also because I was NOT in safe places and with safe people when I would admit to quirks, faults and weaknesses. Not even in my head as time went by. Pretty Freaky!!!

[@01111011111101etc]

All "spiritual growth" without admittance of the reality of one's sinful nature just feeds one's own narcissistic traits.

[@withgoddess7164]

Not everyone agrees that we have a sinful nature...

[@TheGypsykueen]

Do you know anyone who has never lied? No! This is 'sinful nature'- against facts there is no arguments so who cares what many don't agree? Ignoring the truth is lying to oneself in a way...

[@NickyM_0]

@@withgoddess7164 And that is the point! In order to be based in REALITY and not delusion, you can only be whole when you have the courage to acknowledge one's own sin. That is an integrated part of accountability.

[@RH-ul2bc]

Excellent video. Abusers are drawn to certain modes of life. Usually where people naively trust that role and fail to see or question.

[@thegroovypatriot]

I'm familiar with a person using the idea of "it's all good" to avoid talking about something or being accountable. This happens a lot in the modern "hippie" community.

[@beccajaye8468]

The classic New age narcissism : "I'm an Indigo, therefore I'm obviously right and you're wrong. I'm special and you're not." that is what I have seen alot of. These people believe they are somehow special and superior, even though they have done absolutely nothing for the world or humanity to warrant that belief. It's nothing but an ego stroke. The" Indigo Child" phenomenon created a lot of narcissistic people who were told by their moms that they're special and divine.

[@beccajaye8468]

@Anonymous G I never said this applies to all, perhaps I should be more clear. I meant it's something I, personally, have encountered often among new age people. Narcissists who claim to be Indigo, and use this to assert their imagined superiority over everyone around them, as well as an excuse to explain away their terrible behavior. One man in particular that I knew comes to mind. He was exceptionally manipulative and believed he was above everyone around him, and so therefore he had a right to treat them as he pleased. He claimed to be an "empath", but abused so many people. He would become incensed when anyone called him out on his abuse as he could not understand how anyone could possibly question him, seeing as he was a superior being. Another that comes to mind is teal swan. Unfortunately, it's very common in the new age movement. Obviously this doesn't mean that every single person who identifies as an Indigo is a narcissist. It's just that narcissists are drawn to such things as it gives them away to validate their beliefs in their own superiority.

[@NickyM_0]

@@beccajaye8468 Well said. Messiah complex!

[@gdstef1]

I agree fully. I'll never tell my kids they are more special than anyone else. They are more special to me but not the world. The trashman is just as needed as the policeman or doctor. We all need each other.

[@re.natured]

"Money is an amplifier" well said.

[@Gloria_All_Day]

Tara C Yes that is sooo true! My narc was very quiet and loveable when he was unemployed, which was often. Then when he got a job making a lot of money he was very violate and arrogant. Putting me down saying he make more money than me. He would say I was living like a poor person, and he was living like a King. Now mind you this, I was his wife. Yeah there was this one time he said to me that he made more money than me with only unemployment. I make $42,000 a year. That's not chicken change.

[@jojozepofthejungle2655]

everybody's abuse no matter how small is the worst abuse to them. Apparently 70% of us have experienced abuse as children, that's a staggering amount of abuse, then if we are over privalidged that is abuse. Its just human to experience some kind of abuse, we all need to learn to get over things a bit more. edit- please talk about the delutional aspect of narcissist's & why/how they believe in their own lies. Thankyou for another great video.

[@christianone6611]

I see your point but I'd much rather hope the human race improves in it's treatment of each other... Rather than us accepting abuse as normal. Life is challenging and we do need to learn resilience to bounce back from difficulties for sure.

[@ravenburneskushner1825]

Talks incessantly and doesn't listen: yes. Claims to be an "advanced" spiritual practitioner, but has no actual spiritual practice: yes. Always positive, saying everything is as it should be: No (always negative and critical. Critical of other spiritual people calling him negative). Always broke: No (always critical of people in the community who were broke). All talk and no action: yes. I dated him twice. He did seem to be changing, but, as it turns out, it was just love bombing. Within a few months, the old patterns came back - blaming, put-downs, negativity, rage, etc. Within 10 months I was gone again.

[@queenbeenightlyredux]

@9:27 onward you are giving me goosebumps with the accuracy of your observations. Thanks a bunch for being real.

[@queenbeenightlyredux]

Great stuff about true personal responsibility at the end. You never leave the victim hanging in victim status. A lot of these YT new agers have a lot to learn from this channel.

[@desireer6358]

In regards to 6:50...I’ve noticed that most folks will say “sorry to hear that” or any variation and pretend to be concerned, only to not really give a crap. It’s all show. I swear most people would rather live in a fake happy bunnyland instead of personal accountability and reality. And blaming the victim and everything else except themselves.

[@persiamotorman]

I befriended someone at an Ashram who sounds like this. He was popular there because he sold pot, and gave a good talk. He would lecture everyone incessantly. I was told "You are not a spiritual person!" He was also a "spiritual" "spin-master" shifting everything back to you. I would get in his car, and if I turned my head in any direction while in it, he would go into an extreme illogical rage because in his mind i was questioning the perfection of his driving ability. I would appease him because I was afraid he would dump me out on the highway. He invited me to his house but left out the little detail that there was no food. He took us to a sandwich shop, and cut a sandwich in half, and gave me the smaller piece. Naturally, I didn't continue this friendship. Curiously, whenever he got a girlfriend, it always had the same pattern: The girl would be nice, but after a short time of living with him, she would be screaming at him all the time. (I know its because he would spin everything crazy he did onto her....like he did with me.)

[@wattlebough]

persiamotorman Sounds batshit crazy. Anyone who likes to talk and talk and talk about how wise they are is instantly marked with a red flag and are relegated to the no-go zone. They’re so obviously self-absorbed that they ooze narcissism. It’s about as clear a give away as it gets other than having a flashing neon sign above them that says “I’m a full blown narcissist.”

[@why6246]

My narc said he was an old soul with many soul mates, and used this as an excuse to have multiple sexual relationships. I feel like such a gullible fool for believing that all of his so-called "primary soul mates" were young pretty women.

[@willemhendrikvangreunen5276]

you need boundries....

[@marcusmarquez9754]

Oh honey that's not a form of narcissism. That's a form that he's a emotionally mature being and id an actual old soul .

[@domif.b.7657]

A horny a..hole, he is, pardon my French.

[@TheGypsykueen]

😂😂😂

[@faddamplus]

Oh wow, this is true. My ex narc was spiritual and she hated hearing about anything negative. 'I'm sure it'll all be fine,' she'd say as she shut every conversation down.

[@yukisimon1459]

Please, please continue to ignore and deflect hateful comments coming from Narcissists. You are a very powerful Empath and Enlightner....keep being YOU. Never allow anyone to dull your Sunshine 💥💫

[@oakandlotus2920]

So glad you covered this topic in depth. Covert narcissism is often so difficult to spot. The pseudo spiritual element makes it even more confusing & allows them to up their abuse, on the sly. Thank you thank you 🙏🏻!!

[@ieevi]

I so agree that cluster B types get more dangerous in therapy - I watched my ex become much more skilled at manipulation after starting therapy.Also with DBT,which was supposed to help her get better,but instead helped her convince me(&her therapist!)that she had changed. However,when I went back she was so frighteningly way more covertly manipulative&abusive. Everyone argues with me that this isn't possible,so thank you for validating that this does indeed happen! Her diagnosis was BPD,but she convinced her therapist that she is cured,while hiding even more of her toxic personality & actions,& began gaslighting me until I had attempted suicide bc I thought I was crazy.I didn't realize what had happened until the relationship was over&I was an unrecognizable disaster. Ive been working so hard on myself since this&am finally finding myself again thanks to videos such as yours.SO thankful for your wonderful work!🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

[@frankieroberson3398]

Meredith, you are definitely an earth angel; and by all means, continue to do your work! In addition, you have taught me to move forward after we have educated ourselves regarding the personality disorders You taught me that much work is still needed, so Meredith it is. I learned that the antidote to codependency is self-love! To be honest with you Meredith I can't get enough of loving myself (What took so long). Again, our work is not done once we discover our pathologies then we can make wiser choices to engage or disengage. However, we still have to continue to work on self-improvement, and empowering our lives spiritually as well physically. I am learning to take responsibility for my own life; thank you for teaching me how to tai chi! :)

[@bubblerings]

The 'normal' functioning person will blame their parents for the abuse... But, not Forever. -To work through Anger(and Out of Depression) is necessary for codependents to separate their emotions from those of the parents. With some of us, we blame ourselves for Decades. (But, eventually pass the Anger towards the parents for the first time. =HEALTHY.) -When we get to the place, where we can say, "Hey, that was WRONG for me... and I DIDN'T DESERVE THAT!" there is generally a big shift in how we see ourselves - as worthy, no longer as broken. Meredith is spot on, that the Borderlines will blame-shift, but not ever get to the point of Self-responsibility. -They want to stay in that place. They just won't grow up... (usually the case.)

[@Dr.CorneliaKratzer]

Thanks! So agree! Also, while it is true that we can reframe and look at a situation differently, there is this misleading notion and pressure that we can reframe everything in a positive light. This is a form of gas-lighting and pulling the rug out from underneath any motivation and drive to change! I've seen this with spiritually abusive 'coaches' who say anything unflattering their clients see of them (the coach) is SOLEY a reflection of the client herself! Thus the 'coach' elevates her/himself above any criticism because it's just the client's own 'projections' and supposedly only shows that the client has these negatives in their own personality. Massive gas-lighting!

[@anta3612]

"Money isn't important" heard this one too from the spiritual types. I noticed that they also came from well to do families who paid their way in life. Either that or were happy to live on welfare and live on hand outs because they were above "chasing after money". They don't seem to have much self awareness or realize how hypocritical they are being.

[@starr970]

Big big big big one. Lmfao so fucking dusty

[@anta3612]

@Marco N.V.T Don't get me wrong: I loathe the protestant work ethic. Why? It's nothing more than a thinly veiled excuse to create modern slaves. I have nothing against people against whom the system is rigged and have little choice but to sign up for government assistance as their only way to survive. I think it's atrocious how these people are shamed for being in a position that they didn't choose. However, the spiritual types I used to know all had college degrees and came from wealthy families (who initially paid their way). They were extremely privileged but decided they were above it all and that living on welfare was more spiritual instead. They fancied themselves as the modern version St Francis of Assisi (who famously renounced his family wealth to live in poverty/handouts).

[@ryannferriter2559]

THIS is THE ONE of YOUR absolutely BEST.... VIDEO's

[@alexaroland4024]

Thank you for making this! I learned some similar bad habits from my narc father. I’m going to do everything in my power to recognize that and never ever do that to anyone. Thanks again!

[@RaimondVolpe]

Wow such insightful advice for those in a relationship with borderline. Thanks for sharing

[@jasond257]

Oh Meredith, your topics are just resonating so much with me at the moment. Really helping to bring the big picture into focus, so many aspects of life are becoming clear! You are a wonderful beautiful human being. Big hug and many thanks too you!

[@sandramillar9067]

You are awesome and I have so much gratitude for your beautiful generous sharing and giving heart and spirit. Thank you for your courage and strength in continuing your work and helping us.

[@wolfgang7812]

I got comments like "stop being so paranoid,".

[@thebrittdrake]

WolfGang me too. ‘You’re projecting’ ‘what you perceive is not reality’. Classic gaslighting

[@desireer6358]

“Stop playing the victim” “change your mindset” “just think positive” GAHHHHH I want to gauge my eyes out

[@Frederique41]

I am paranoid even more now 😤😡

[@ObscurasCozyCult]

In addition to other spirituality that’s Christian centric. Often times narcissists will pull the forgiveness card and guilt you into “forgive and forget” because we are all imperfect and “sinners” and if you don’t forgive them of all their trespasses then God won’t forgive you of yours... it’s the whole “judge not lest he be judged” and the idea that “we” are advised to forgive all but God will forgive whole he chooses. Interestingly a lot of the narcs who take on this use it as a way to condone and continue their poor behavior.

[@Light1111q]

Wow I just recently found someone online just as your describing . She talked so much I couldn't even get a word in, and none of my feelings were valuable. I was told constantly that "I was playing a victim, and I needed to own my crap. " "I create my reality and I did this to myself." They also played the role of woah is me im so poor and broke so you need to give me money .This clarifies so much for me. You are a huge blessing. Now I have anger left inside myself from this person . I have to figure out how to deal with this in a healthy way. Any tips on this and how to heal is welcome here 🙂 Your literally a life saver to me ❤

[@troygeorge7838]

You should name this video, "Boulder Colorado". This video defines just about everyone in Boulder that isn't attached to the University. I lived there for at least five years and only now am starting to fully understand what they are. Thanks for the confirmation. I had come to the 80% cluster B and 20% not about a year ago but you really have ripped their masks off with this video. Thanks.

[@ellemarie8663]

Lmao YES. And thank YOU for validating & confirming the “boulder bubble” in these comments. The person I had in mind when seeing this video is def a spiritual narc thriving with the vibes in Boulder.

[@fishface123ism]

I have to tell you Maker of The Vid, it was so genuinely funny when you are speaking of the Cluster B not having enough empathy to pick up on the "audience"...the group they are with that doesn't ant to hear the fake humble, spiritual act...then you said as a way to change subject, "how bout the Raiders?" That was so funny. Thank you. It was a refreshing funny cause the subject matter you discuss on video is very intense and you are a Master at walking your listener-viewer along the path.

[@kimberlymccracken747]

You're so wise Meredith. That is one of the gifts of those of us who have been surrounded by these manipulative individuals - we can spot their games. Whew!!! Meredith, I thought I coined the term "mental masturbation". Love it!! That's what I used to say my ex-husband (spiritual narc) liked to do. He would get on political/social rants which no one enjoyed but him. And, he always left his wallet behind when it was time to pay for anything.

[@ryannferriter2559]

im BORDERLINE and i LOVE YOU!... u helped me and im looking to NO excuse. me AM CHANGING...i was am a victim...ALL the more reason to the ONE self aware...AND MAKE MYSELF 100% responsible.... 50% for whatever ALL my relationships

[@MikeKollin]

One thing I thought about tonight on my walk: "How is it all these people/narcissists are using the same techniques??? It's like it's Programmed into them or something! It's just bizarre!!"

[@MikeKollin]

@@lesleygarvs4640 Thank you! 🐹

[@articulateit-andgetwhatyouwant]

Meredith, you're truly and inspiration. Thank you for sharing your real, no-BS experience - You're so right to speak your objective truth, no matter how much people (narcs!) protest. Knowledge and truth are our best shields against abuse as well as tools for goodness and freedom. PS. Love your hippy impersonation - crushing it! LOL but it's so true. Nothing against hippies, of course; the lifestyle is irrelevant. It's the underlying abuse tactics to watch for and avoid like the plague!

[@owenL]

"I just want to do what I want." It's an interesting one, because if someone has just come out of a tyrannical or oppressive relationship there is that feeling of, "Right, now I'm free I want to be authentic to 'me' at last." So the individual's motivations, agendas and will become paramount, and pressure and manipulation to do others' bidding is rejected. I gave myself license for liberty. And a lot of people branded me irresponsible/good-for-nothing - which then really assisted the flying-monkeys/smear campaign I was dealing with. I don't mean I went around 'dumping' on people with vindictive relish, but I stopped giving a shit what people thought of me - and it was a really healthy thing to do. I refused to do shit jobs, I smoked a joint if I felt like it and I spoke my truth exactly as I saw it: I respected my authentic nature. And the interesting thing was that after 18 months or so I found I didn't need to smoke anymore; I found work that I valued (not connected to superficial outcomes) and I found relationships that were so much more wholesome than the previous bullshit codependent ones. I trusted the guilt-free process (go-with-the-flow Daoism!) - instead of the indoctrinated 'good boy' or 'brave boy' I decided to be a 'real boy' - like Pinocchio, but without the lies! - and it all ironed out, eventually, to a much healthier place of balance with so many fakes and phonies (family as well as friends) falling away in the rear view mirror. Abrazos grandes! :)

[@ckzckw]

Oh yes when we claim our freedom and self emancipate, all the narc enablers just want to bring you down. Suddenly you're selfish because .... what is that you're living for your happines. They are described as the children of fallen angels in the bible total demons, I swear they are allergic to self love and self generated happines. It's a stage of healing, we need to vent out and get rid of the tainted energy. At least you wern't doing what narcs do which is transfer or create misery, you were acknowledging, accepting & affirming your ascension beyond that state. Well done.

[@demoniclaserdude4266]

Well done, Owen!

[@pem428]

Motivational. I'm slowly moving on that way but it feels right. Refusing jobs I consider shit, being content with enough to pay bills and a little after focusing on healing being able to more well identify those in my life that really aren't friends. It's tough to not give in to being jaded as fuck, I appreciate to you sharing your process.

[@glowinthadark]

@@pem428 ♡♡♡!Jaded!♡♡♡♡ It's a great thing really it is...

[@fiord7026]

I've been in a relationship with a medium for 18 months. I don't understand how he can be so gifted and empathetic with his clients and in public but so vicious and hurtful in private. I mean, why do spirit work with him when he's so unloving in his personal relationships? It doesn't make sense to me.

[@kayancampbell4193]

Very helpful video. Thanks. I realized I was not taking self responsibility. I was uust putting all the blame on the narcissists and researching about them after a break up. This lead me to make the same mistake of attracting other narcissists in my life. However, learning about them let it easier to let them go after a few dates without any remorse or guilt. Self responsibilities I am taking now include loving myself more, if weak in that area, ask myself the question would I want this for my daughters, if no. That's a red flag. Also choosing where to go on dates, when to leave the date and blocking them can help. Life is too short to waste on them because the sooner you leave the faster to heal😊

[@Mithreniel]

You wielded the Protective Power of The Hell No and triumphed.

[@rebeccab.463]

Excellent video Meredith! Thank You for all your brilliant advice, experiential wisdom, and clarity in your presentations-

[@cardioactivist9953]

You are very well spoken. Thank you for this. You did mention the DSM. Have you considered that the DSM manuals are a small group of people deciding what is and is not a "disorder"?

[@corsicanlulu]

doctors, lawyers, judges....a lot of these are narcs unfortunately

[@phoenixrising7851]

Yep. Spiritual covert narcissist. These are dangerous because they are spiritual but what they channel isn’t love and light. In the rage stage they have the potential to tap into low vibrational curses and don’t think they won’t. I have been a target and seen the rage.

[@mamathemeat]

I have tapped into that because everyone around me was being abusive to me and I felt trapped. I tapped into something and it cursed all of them. Maybe it was their karma?

[@bulletsfordinner8307]

This was amazing and enlightening! Brought tears to my eyes! I am recovering, and in psychotherapy, from narcisistic abuse, ptsd and high functioning anxiety and depression.. Your videos have been helping me immensely this last few months! Ty so much you are a light, shine bright

[@larklwinslow9333]

you covered a lot of important ground with this one Meredith...thank you very much.

[@nybombay3378]

Genius Meredith! You are an inspiration! Keep talking, you are bold and full of insight!

[@tiredscapegoat1569]

Mine uses The Power of Now principles to minimize my feelings when he's assholing.

[@juliamolony6285]

Oh my gosh! My ex spiritual narcissist uses the New Earth as his weapon of choice. I get sick when I think of Tolle now. I read them when they first came out and they were a jumping from place not the end. Like cotton candy - pretty looking, taste good at first, but fluff and bad for you. I wasn’t the only target, there were many he assaulted with the info. Just change you perspective. Hate that phrase. Spiritual bypass to the max. So glad I read your post. Thank you!

[@solmassages9732]

You are so wise! I really appreciate your perspective on the dark side of the New Age philosophy. I am just coming to realize, as a believer in it for 30 years, that some of the aspects of it like victim blaming and “don’t talk about negative stuff” has kept me stuck in the narcissistic/co-dependent paradigm. I am three months into going no-contact with my entire family and it’s been horribly difficult but equally empowering. But what I have noticed is that three of my friends who are 100% new age believers are passive aggressively shaming me into taking on the abuse as my own fault as well as not truly listening/judging me for saying my frustrations with my family or friends. They say, “Well, how are you abusing YOURSELF? How are you frustrated with yourself?” They just don’t want to listen to my new truths now because I am angry and calling a spade a spade! But they are defending their co-dependent paradigm of self-blame and I believe are jealous and resentful of my new ability to call out abusive truths. I have also begun changing my daily habits to healthy ones in the last three weeks. I am re-parenting my Little Cindy and giving her chore charts with sparkle stickers for rewards and have created an entire “Little Cindy’s Command Center” that looks like a bulletin board from grade school to track and plan my day, week and month! I am so proud of myself and Little Cindy is feeling witnessed through my changing healthy actions. This is the other sticky point is as I begin to live a self-actualized life, many of my friends (thankfully not all) and family are jealous of my getting happier. I feel their subtle (and sometimes not-so-subtle) digs against me, trying to pull me back down to their level again. Your book has been SUPER HELPFUL in letting me know that this first stage of seeing and accepting the ugly truth of my situation will not be forever. I am filled with anger and frustration which are not usual emotions for me and I find them incredibly challenging to experience. But as I move into the second and third phases of co-dependent recovery, I can look forward to more happiness through elevating my self-worth. I know this is just a phase and there’s light at the end of the tunnel. But this is SO HARD!!! So, thank you SOOOO MUCH for your willingness to piss people off by telling the truth about BPD behaviors and deal with the hateful comments you receive in order to get to appreciative ones like mine. Your truth telling is inspiring for me to believe that I can one day be as comfortable doing that myself with friends and clients who come to me for my healing work I do. (That’s the other area where things are getting uncomfortable is with my clients who I have been telling the same truths to for two years and I just don’t have the same capacity to hold my tongue anymore!) 🙏🌟💖🌈🙏😊

[@Rosered2319]

This was so beautiful to read! Thank you for sharing 💗

[@KristenWack777]

I had a woman "energy healer" actually groom and prey upon me for two years and expected for me to submit to her as my guru. When I realized what was happening, I was so repulsed and reviled. She was so sneaky and insidious and now has an online following. It makes me sick because if people only knew what this woman is like in real life. . . . But people are so taken in by these people you can't tell them anything.

[@g.practicainvestments6712]

You're great Meredith, and my adopted sister lifeline. These haters that write you for calling them out, are guilty as hell.

[@nsns804]

There is so much valuable information in this video. Thank you so much for sharing it with everyone.

[@rittercritter1876]

I Thank you so much for this eye opening message! I just had such a deep sense that alot of what I've been taught spiritually, is so twisted! spirituality is a beautiful joyful thing but SOME people really know how to use it as a tool for abuse, manipulation and control....I thank you for bringing this into the light! Please always keep up your wonderful work. You are helping so many. God bless you

[@SeanFitzgerald]

This was really helpful, thank you.

[@kerridubbs2]

thanks to you, I'm still putting pieces together. Self love is self realization . I appreciate you so much!

[@littlemisskitch]

I am a fan of you Meredith. I'm BPD and fully take stock of myself. I just think all borderlines shouldnt be generalised in the same way. I have also been on the end of a narcissistic partner etc. I feel everyone's emotions. I want peace for myself and to feel okay and with self work and Buddhism, I've changed exponentially. people will change their behavior if they really want to.

[@nstemple2313]

littlemisskitch. im totally understanding what you are saying. i can relate to that myself. i believe that i had BPD in my younger years but now have totally shifted after leaving my ex psychopath. i have now dedicated my life to spiritual growth and christian service. i am sincere in my beliefs and i am a true empath and always have been but somewhere along the line i got this self entitlement in my head as a hormonally imbablanced teen. now i am 33 and feel pretty leveled out and teach my kids on a daily basis to always be grateful and to empathize with others feelings. i dont feel anger anymore. i dont try to control anything and i truly do accept things as they are but i sometimes get fixated on situations with my ex narc. i hope meredith reads these comments and takes into consideration some of our experiences just to help her continue her work. meredith , these videos are amazing and so helpful. keep going!

[@littlemisskitch]

Beautifully put Nicole. I think it is beneficial for any coach, therapist etc, do not get bogged down in stereotypes and rigid beliefs around anyone who has certain labels. What is the use of labels really, but for diagnostic purposes for treatment. But as with all mental health distress , it all lies on a spectrum. Which isn't necessarily linear either. I had dysfunctional parents, and a boyfriend when I was 13 that abused me. My bpd was at its worse in my late teens and early twenties. I have been plagued by codependency and picking partners who are like my parents. The past few years I have changed dramatically. I abhor hurting anyone. If anything...I internalise so much. I understand that there are those in the cluster b that destroy lives..I do not condone that whatsoever. However, can we also remember that these clusters are formulated on the say so of professionals. I'm not totally convinced by the medical model myself. I truly believe in a holistic account of mental distress. I also do understand that not everyone can be guided into therapy successfully and some people will manipulate. As I have commented previously on other videos,, I love Meredith's work. It has helped me a great deal in healing after my ex narc. I'm not bitter about the ex, I actually wish her healing. It's time to focus on me.

[@kaylassoundbathsanctuary]

littlemisskitch and Nicole, amen sisters!! Love Meredith as well and it's helped me in my process of healing with my ex "narcopath" I agree 100% with every comment here and also relate on a personal level. I read somewhere that BPD can be horrible during teenage years but as we get older it shifts and sometimes patterns change. So glad to hear loving healing words coming from so called "monsters" 😊

[@littlemisskitch]

I'm a mental health masters student too. I wanted to make sense of my world and to better help others. Not condemn them. There will always be people, pathological or not, who are resistant to change and not good characters. Thank you, darling. :))

[@loretaben1663]

BPD are totally different from narcs, especially the covert narcs because they know what they are doing. They are on mission to kill, steal and destroy. All the covert narcs I have met have spiritual powers to do evil and send curses and they bragged about it.

[@marieclaudelatour8542]

That is so to the point. If I had known this years ago my life would have been very different now. Thank you for sharing.

[@ckzckw]

OMG my narc just tried to tell me a week ago that life is about misery quote: "that is what life is about". Seriously I'm so grateful this being is nolonger of childrearing capacity.

[@JazzLoverKhurram]

Your videos are excellent thank you Meredith, very clear and helpful. I was with a Spiritual BPD Narcissist many years back, and I still feel the energetic ties to her (and other Narcissists I've known like my father who is dead) and she appears to be sucking my energy (or on some level I am giving her permission to do so) for many years now, which perhaps contributes to my Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.. I've spent years working on myself but still can't seem to break free..There seem to be energetic ties that are difficult to cut, though I've tried many different healing techniques and often asked The Light for guidance and a solution. I've literally tried everything, so I went even deeper in search of answers in the spiritual realm (my ex had a resemblance to a quite well known American Narcissist spiritual guru, now deceased, that I was once a student of in the 80's) and found out that the problem may indeed have had it's roots there (soul contracts, vows etc. made with Narcissist Archon deities/'God'/'Mother God'/discarnate 'masters' intent on seeing one struggle for their pleasure and as energy supply or loosh). I'm at my wit's end and totally burnt out after my struggle with them, and I found out to my relief I'm not the only one who has been through this..clearly mischief makers on the Other Side (I won't name any names though I just did lol) in some way set us up to be entrapped while in our earthly incarnations in order to fulfill some malevolent agenda of theirs while conning us into believing it's some kind of learning experience for the Soul ..I call bullshit!! That is what I have concluded after seeing how this issue has really snowballed in recent years, and is now absolutely everywhere around us in our homes, workplaces and governments (viz. Trump and the political establishment and power structure) with so many KZbinrs devoting their lives to combatting it and heal abuse symptoms. And since most of my life I have been surrounded or had to deal with Narcissists, from parents to friends to partners to children, it's really incredible when I think about it, and also Narcissistic tendencies in myself, and I'm exhausted. Shari Shreiner's work which I came across 10 years ago helped me a great deal, especially to recognize the patterns and symptoms of abuse, and affirm my decision to walk away and break off contact, especially when I read about how some BPD women trick their partners into having a child, which is exactly what happened to me..the child developed PAS (Parental Alienation Syndrome) under the venomous influence of his mother, and his hatred is something I feel even to this day, though he is now 20. Thanks again for bringing fresh light on this subject matter with such detail, passion, energy and serenity.😊

[@tropicaoptica]

Yeah like "you just need to embrace Non-Attachment"

[@BobTheSchipperke]

TropicaOptica Watch the movie Harold and Maude much? Lol. Ugh. I stay as far away as possible from narcs.

[@andeugensson]

Meredith, thank you for your material, because it has make me understand the path I need to follow on my path for trauma recovery.

[@curiousfiend1169]

Another very helpful video, thank you. IMO, it's one thing to be victimized, but an entirely different thing to go from victim to perpetrator. Then to have such incredible selfishness to cry about previously being victimised. As if it's meant to justify them perpetrating abuse upon others.

[@jaimeflor4181]

Wow, the covert-narc I met works where I meditate. Everyone thought she was super nice and it seemed like we had a lot in common. I was the 1st and only one to get to know her on a personal level and it was a nightmare. I learned some necessary, but tough lessons. However, the emotional and psychological abuse was awful. The silent treatments, gas lighting, all of the above. Btw, she was exactly like my cover-narc mother, cold, lacking empathy and self-centered.

[@JourneyIntoAnimism]

This video is a breath of fresh air for me right now. Thank you so much!

[@blessed7927]

She's brilliant and she knows this subject better than anyone I've ever read or seen beside the victims themselves! Thank you for your videos! God Bless You!!!

[@ryannferriter2559]

aghhhh u said magic phrase wolf in sheep's clothing. OMG that's so my LIFE and PEOPLE AROUND ME...

[@ormorphe]

Thank you for this! Some people have twisted EFT into a pseudo-guru-persona junk and I have SEEN their mask slip as soon as they are questioned. They victim blame and it’s disgusting. EFT is a wonderful healing tool leaving the guru junk out. Stacey Vornbrock and Brad Yates, Cheryl Richardson rock. As to the hate mail you’ve received-they outed themselves, didn’t they. I’m sorry you endure their cowardice.

[@thegroovypatriot]

Oh I love this video! It is so important. I have had so many of these experiences where someone is insistent in telling me what's up. And even an older male "Indian Doctor". As a codependent, as well as someone who often sees the world anew like a child, both of which seem weak, I attract this a lot. I'm in the stage of observing and beginning to make different choices. I have broken through!

[@kaylassoundbathsanctuary]

As a person diagnosed with BPD I truly believe that more research needs to be done on us. It is a grey area in psychology lot of the times. Currently Psychologists don't really want to or like to work with people that have BPD. I don't like that we're classified together with cluster b personality types because narcissists lack emotion and empathy. from my personal experience and other people I know with BPD we have overwhelming extreme emotions and empathy, which can be wonderful but also a downfall

[@littlemisskitch]

Kayla Cervantes agreed. I'm diagnosed BPD and feel everything and have grown. I hate how we're slated and made out as monsters. The worst thing I do now is cut off from people...usually to save them.

[@nevaehb.4371]

I am not familiar with BPD but I guess people with this disorder are on a spectrum so there are some who are pretty antisocial and have almost no empathy and there are those who are more on the lower end of the spectrum and therefore able to change if they want to.

[@kaylassoundbathsanctuary]

Lynn Bishop that's highly offensive and extremely rude. I've been in therapy for a long time now and have been told I'm a highly aware, kind caring individual. It is people like you fresh out of school that has only read books but lacks actual evidence and life experiences. In my 15 years of therapy I have yet to have been told I should not have relationships or that I shouldn't have kids or be able to experience love. You are cold and insensitive. I also took psychology and any professor that's telling you this black and white bullshit is a quack. One day the stigma will be broken and you will see. So the term "normals" is in the DSM now too? Lol that's a bunch of BS. Until then I feel sorry that you actually are employed somewhere telling people who suffer with BPD this instead of being helpful and kind with them. We have emotions you know. We aren't monsters. I can see who I am. I'm human, I need to improve upon myself. Same goes for you sir.

[@littlemisskitch]

Kayla , I can't see who you're talking to! Good on you for sticking up for yourself. So much stigma. Therapists should know better.

[@kaylassoundbathsanctuary]

littlemisskitch Yes, its very disturbing to read this first thing in the morning! Too bad you can't see it. He posted 8 hours ago and it's still up. So rude! He goes onto start harassing me a second time being extremely verbally abusive. I had to report him. Sounds like he's the one with a serious mental illness.

[@PebbleBeachLife]

If someone dabbles in New Age, Hinduism, Yoga etc, the concept of this is that you become a god. When the spirit leaves and brings back about it 7 other spirits, the person is worse off than before BUT When they evolve into Narcissism, they become that god, their ego is their new god. Then they have completed the transition.

[@Byteable]

Well I’m pretty spiritual myself but I always refer them as Spiritual Ego/Egomaniacs. Good to know and to be aware of 🙏

[@Lola-mt1ne]

Really useful things to pay attention to. This can be very subtle.

[@EventHorizon1208]

Whenever I listen or read Psychologists my over riding mantra is always" Psychology is not a Science, it is a Healing Art ...Many Claim the Expertise but very very few have unique and telling insight. It is similar to walking blindfolded on a walkway over boiling volcanic mud pits... stay on the path as haphazard as they are take what resounds as truth in YOUR life and most important... keep walking...

[@mariacarmencavazos9570]

11:50 Agreed. Action is necessary, however; everyone is different. I believe in spirituality because I have experienced 2 totally different and near death experiences. There are obviously different types of spiritually enriched human beings. Amazing how we all have Narc tendencies. Thank you for sharing.

[@candacesuessmilch9414]

Even if a covert narcissist acknowledges self responsibility for their abusive actions, do you really believe they can 'heal'? My understanding is that is just not possible (i.e. Sam Vaknin) and that it is so deeply established, they cannot get out of it. And therapy doesn't help. Now, the co-dependant on the other hand has a real shot at healing if they undertake the therapy.

[@gabrielmotoc1234]

It is very hard to heal narcissism through therapy, potentially impossible. But it is possible to heal it thorough other ways. A near-death experience such as an accident can produce a radical transformation. Healing from a deadly disease that you were given no chance by doctors can change somebody completely. I know somebody that killed another because driving drunk. The guilt changed him completely. Maybe a few years in prison too. Also, in peak experiences with psychedelics the ego is dissolved, you go through an ego death and you are never the same person you used to be. So in conclusion, there are ways in which narcissism can be healed but it seams that all of them are radical experiences.

[@ckjayzn]

"Just be positive" ... "why are you so negative" 🙈 crazy making

[@TYGZus777]

Gaslighters gotta Gaslight! I appreciate your educational videos and I have respect for you as an intelligent, highly professional and mentally-healthy instructor.

[@mgtowpti9116]

Thanks for all your help and wisdom .Michael

[@michelleseashell6460]

This is so true! I've been on the other end of both malignant narcs and borderline. They are both horrific in their own ways. What I would say though is, in defense of borderlines, is that they CAN get treatment if they WANT to. Whereas narcs, no chance!

[@bearfriend9531]

Thank you for your videos. I don't mind watching tarot or crystals and angels, they are pretty and interesting sometimes. The thing that annoys me is having to be relentlessly cheerful and positive 24/7. You're right, who is? I am most of the time, but some days I'm not. Also the people who think that "this person is my soulmate" so too bad if that person is married and has a family, they keep trying to get them. They usually call the wife or husband "the karmic". The worst tho, is when people stay in terrible, abusive relationships bcoz that person is their "soulmate" or "we have a really strong connection blah blah". It's BS. And when I comment about it, their "love and light" goes out the window real fast. ✌

[@Jojo-sb1xs]

Ur an amazing person with a truth I deeply connect with. I've felt lonely my who life but bc ov ppl like u I feel I belong to family outside ov the one I was born in to. they love me but don't understand me. thanku...deeply. if ne1 has a problem with u u know azwel az I do that it's nothin to do with u but more to do with the truth u speak that scares them du to thier own unresolved issues. much love. Jo xxx

[@222veronicabean]

omg, lmao! no worries, everything's good, etc" I listened to this shit constantly for the 2 years i lived in Hawaii! I got so sick of it i started telling everyone, "I miss drama, time for peace when I'm dead. I want people in my life that are living, not meditating!", I became unpopular for not staying in the 'island group think". even the covert holistic narcissist that targeted me ran away! thanks to the native Hawaiians i din't lose my mind. it seemed to be the folks from the mainland that had this hard wired mind set. offering a new way of thinking or doing something was not allowed.

[@sylvestina53poetwriter.17]

I'm literally afraid of my ex-husband: even now in my pitiful state (disabled through a brain tumour) which almost killed me he is still using daughters as his flying monkeys, smear campaign against me with friends, situation got so bad it was all dragging me further down. Mental illness, cancer the works. I was given no other choice but to remove myself from them and follow a healing path to find out what it is about me which attract these nasty demonic characters. I lost everything I held dear all because I loved them (SO CALLED FAMILY,) more than I LOVED MYSELF.

[@livelife5947]

I hate borderline's they drained the fck outa me to the point of depression, anxiety & chronic fatigue. They always have a problem, everyone's out to get them, they're needy af, always a victim & forever misunderstood, they're also pathological liars. They're victims are successful, generally happy, confident & positive thinking, or their children in the case of borderline mothers. It's the victims job to uplift them & make them confident/happy. They feed on people like this & eventually devour them DO NOT, I repeat DONT EVER try to help these people, they are beyond help, they don't even want help, they enjoy feeling sorry for themselves & the pity they get. They're totally unaware of their behaviour unlike most narcs, I don't think they're aware of the effect they have on people but they're still extremely toxic & should be avoided like the plague.

[@azrael1743]

They're this way because they were abused. Everything we see in other's, we have in ourselves. We cannot see something unless we have it in ourselves. Sure, stay away from them, but you have no space to shit talk people who are obviously miserable.

[@FreeJulianAssange23]

@@azrael1743 This person was expressing hurt rather then insults. There is a major difference.

[@melodyslocum2309]

Super enlightening! Just another form of emotional abuse, Im not forgiving him and jumping back into his arms , hes suffering, no making amends specifically just going on and on , " you promised youd never leave me!". I moved out to heal myself from 11years of me trying to get away and him dragging me back . He even threatens and uses the things I love ...my guitar, my , family, the dog. These two months my perspective and health has been changing. Im happier and hes unhappier. He cant live without me. Hes making a case that not having sex is really bad for your health. Rediclous comments. Ive been meeting at the park daily for visits with the dog. So he threatens , if I dont go back to him no more visits!!! Hes ranting. He has to keep me around , hes made me his reason for living. He says hes nothing without me and the dog is suffering too. But hes willing to make him suffer by stopping our visits. As for my side of the street, I see my faults better now and I can see where Ive missed the mark. Change is painfully wonderful. 🦅🦋thank you ! Awesome as usual.