Insomnia - w/ Sleep Expert Martin Reed

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In this interview, Insomnia Coach Martin Reed, MEd, CHES®, CCSH, discusses the common causes and solutions for insomnia. Insomnia often starts with a single night of disrupted sleep and is exacerbated by our responses to it. There are three components that perpetuate insomnia: predisposing factors (such as stress or genetics), triggering events (like stress or excitement), and the way we respond to these disruptions.
Trying to control sleep, such as going to bed too early or staying in bed too long, can backfire. Instead, he suggests only going to bed when genuinely sleepy and maintaining a consistent wake-up time. He also advises against fighting wakefulness with intense effort, advocating for a more accepting approach. Observing thoughts and feelings without trying to suppress them can help reduce the struggle and make falling asleep easier.
Reed highlights that insomnia is common and manageable by understanding its mechanics and practicing less effortful responses to wakefulness. His free email series provides further education and strategies for improving sleep without the common pitfalls that many insomnia sufferers experience.
CORRECTION: In the video I say that he is a psychotherapist, licensing is different in the UK, Martin is a certified health coach, Certified Health Education Specialist (CHES®), and holds a Certification in Clinical Sleep Health (CCSH).
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[@kathykaveh1471]

40 minutes and the gist of is not to force sleep, to just rest, meditate or read something. Don't fight it and when you're really tired, you will eventually fall asleep.

[@Michele_6815]

Thank you! 😊

[@berzubirze]

Yeah, right...

[@Obrayan-x99]

You saved my life

[@karenbrown893]

I have tried "acceptance" of the fact I wasn't sleeping. This led to me not sleeping for 3 consecutive nights. I thought that if I was resting vs sleeping I would be ok. I felt terrible. I was irritable and couldn't think straight. I looked terrible. Dark circles and sagging face. Not the best look for a professional at work. Then, on the 4th day, I blew through a stop sign and almost broadsided another driver. Thank goodness we managed to avoid each other. I was completely shaken and drove immediately to my doctor in tears. I have since learned that not sleeping for even one night is like driving drunk.

[@InsomniaCoach]

I am glad you are safe. How did you try "acceptance"? If I saw you practicing acceptance, what would I have seen you doing? Before you tried acceptance, what was your approach and how was that working for you?

[@jonnyo1802]

Were you on sleeping pills and just stopped taking them all of the sudden? If so, you should know that there is withdrawal and also rebound insomnia, depending on long you've been taking them and the dose you were on, it can be pretty severe. Best not to drive or do things that can cause injury due to inattention because basically you will be a zombie during that period while your brain gradually goes back to normal. Generally it is best to taper gradually off the sleeping pills. If you are also taking antidepressants, it makes things even more complicated. Withdrawal from quitting addictions can also cause acute insomnia like you are describing.

[@johnlennox-pe2nq]

God bless and protect karen brown, and give her deep refreshing sleep/rest

[@cd8836]

So what worked for you?

[@jonnyo1802]

@@cd8836 For me personally, it was just getting rid of my addictions and changing my lifestyle. When you quit, you will go into withdrawal and a lot of symptoms will get worse before they get better, including insomnia but eventually it will go back to normal, you just have to accept you will feel like shit for a while and wait it out. Other things that were helpful was getting sunlight exposure after waking, also getting more sun in general during the day., avoiding too much light after sunset, exercise, sorting your mind out through reflection and journaling, educating yourself more on issues you're dealing with because sometimes it's just lacking knowledge or understanding that prevents you from getting better. All the best!

[@BabyMieuw]

Who else is watching this video in the middle of the night because they can't sleep...?

[@_d.aw.n_]

Me 💀

[@InsomniaCoach]

You are definitely not alone.

[@Helen-jw6yb]

Yep me too!

[@Kiwiclegg]

Me

[@MarianaC192]

01:30 am in Portugal

[@mostguitarswins]

The way I would describe what they're talking about is simply acceptance. After I've been awake for a while and tried a few things that don't work, I just move on and do something positive. Often getting up and starting the morning routine, e.g., taking a shower, etc., helps me begin to feel better. I've learned that I can handle occasional sleep deprivation.

[@InsomniaCoach]

I would say you're right. Acceptance of the difficult things that we cannot directly or permanently control can keep us moving toward the life we want to live, reduce their power and influence, and prevent us from adding additional difficulty and struggle on top. It's important to emphasize that acceptance isn't about giving up - it's more about acting in a "workable" way.

[@laurenmacpherson5975]

I was struggling with chronic insomnia for several months and then I found Martin Reed's KZbin channel. Followed his advice and fixed my insomnia within a few weeks. Anytime i have a rough night of sleep, I use the strategies i learned from him and i get right back on track! He's the best! 😊

[@mamatra1552]

What are your go-to strategies?

[@InsomniaCoach]

Thank you so much for sharing! What do you feel were the most helpful changes you made that helped you get back on track?

[@Gabriela-vo1pe]

Hello how is your sleep right now

[@jlvandat69]

Have studied sleep issues for months, since I have chronic sleep issues. Two tings I have learned: (1) All experts agree poor sleep is not good for health and longevity and (2) very few experts have solid, effective, sustainable solutions that actually help a person improve their sleep. Apparently, there's a lot more we need to learn.

[@katesmiles4208]

Yep. Most suggestions seem trite and made by well-meaning people who are completely clueless. 😊

[@InsomniaCoach]

I believe that learning is a lifelong process! Did you find anything useful in this discussion?

[@jlvandat69]

@@InsomniaCoach not really. After dozens of podcasts with top sleep experts I rarely hear anything new and effective in terms of helping people get a consistent 7 or 8 hours. There are some success stories in cases where an expert works one-on-one with a client and therefore can tailor the treatment to the person's unique sleep issues. But I am not ready to spend thousands on treatment. My interim method is regular meditation and power naps especially on days when I had less than 5 or 6 hours of sleep, which is quite common.

[@lightitup33333]

5-6 hours is a LOT.

[@jlvandat69]

@@lightitup33333 5 to 6 hours is considered inadequate by nearly all sleep experts.....however, I am not totally convinced this 'general guideline' is sound medical advice. For example, there could be many people who do not experience negative health and longevity impacts due to sub-optimal sleep periods. I have normally slept about 6 hours a nite for 5+ years with no noticeable mental or physical health deterioration.

[@MariaTheLioness]

Martin has such calming and kind voice, it's sound makes me relax and sleep!

[@InsomniaCoach]

I appreciate you sharing that! The insomnia struggle is difficult and it requires understanding and compassion.

[@go556]

it is mind-blowing how wrong the mainstream standard practice towards sleep is, at least from my own experience. So glad we have people like you two!!

[@InsomniaCoach]

I appreciate your kind words! I like to believe that the mainstream practice toward sleep has good intentions - but, after reading some of the stuff I come across, I sometimes have my doubts.

[@someonegetsteve]

A lot of us who struggle with perfectionism and are intolerant of uncertainty are more likely to suffer bouts of chronic insomnia. Insomnia has a lot of crossover with OCD. We obsessively try to control the uncontrollable (sleep).

[@InsomniaCoach]

I think there's definitely something to what you are saying - and many of us (OCD or not) could probably benefit from being more tolerant of uncertainty and more present in the moment! I think there can be a strength here, too - if we can redirect our desire to control an outcome into a desire to control our actions, we might be more likely to take and commit to a more effective and more workable approach to all this difficult stuff.

[@iMarkvid]

I just have to share that my life has literally been changed and I’ve been transformed after watching this video, It’s really quite astounding. And it doesn’t have anything to do with getting more or less sleep, whether or not I have insomnia. I think it has to do with getting it, what he said, about not fighting it. Letting go. I think something about what he said resonated deep in my soul and I got it, did it, and it changed me in a profound way. I guess everyone is different, but that’s what happened to me. A huge outpouring of JOY and eternal LIFE and….all that good stuff from God. With or without sleep. Glory! ❤

[@InsomniaCoach]

It sounds as though you have truly begun to free yourself from the struggle - and that can be so liberating in so many ways!

[@JanMaclellan]

Very helpful. Confirms my own experience. I recently decided to stop stressing about wakefulness, and to just accept it and tell myself to be thankful i am lying down and this is still restful for my body. It had worked so well. I'm still awake at times, but not stressing about it. Has made all the difference. I just read a book on my phone and after a while im ready to doze off. The time im reading is getting shorter all the time. Letting go of stressing about it is definitely the answer.

[@InsomniaCoach]

Withdrawing from the battle can be so liberating and it can free up so much energy, too! And, when we aren't engaged in a battle, conditions for sleep are a lot better. I wish you all the best - it sounds as though you are on a workable path forward.

[@EmpowermentPsychology]

This conversation is incredibly important and hits home for so many people. As a therapist and combat veteran, I’ve seen firsthand how insomnia can take a toll on mental health, especially when dealing with trauma and PTSD. Your approach to insomnia, focusing on reducing the struggle instead of forcing sleep, is such a valuable perspective that more people need to hear. I’ve also been creating content on my channel, Empowerment Psychology, to help veterans and others heal from trauma, PTSD, and other mental health challenges. If you’re interested, feel free to check it out! Thank you for sharing this essential information!

[@InsomniaCoach]

Thank you for sharing! Helping veterans and others heal from trauma is important work. Thank you for your service.

[@azlizzie]

This first part of the conversation is so powerful and affirming. When I finally convinced myself that I don't need to sleep. That it's ok to be awake. That I can modify my day to my energy. No sleep is ok. That's when I FINALLY got rest.

[@InsomniaCoach]

Wakefulness is a normal part of sleep - and rest is a lot more restorative than tossing and turning, battling, and trying to make sleep happen!

[@brendacollinsdeeks7268]

A sleep clinic told me I have a displaced circadian rhythm which means every four to six weeks I stay up for a full night. I’ve learned to just expect it and find things to do quietly while my husband sleeps. As I gradually stay up later and later each night I often do art to quiet my mind and relax my body. I have convinced myself that the night is my found time to enjoy quiet time while the rest of the world sleeps.

[@InsomniaCoach]

That sounds like a workable way to respond to something that might not be within your control. Thanks for sharing!

[@1Wendy_Woo]

I am a light sleeper. I swear the change of air wakes me. I have breathing exercises that help. Yoga Nidra 👍 practices for insomnia.

[@InsomniaCoach]

Light sleepers probably have a highly protective brain that's busy doing a great job of looking out for them and keeping them safe. Pros and cons!

[@e.a.miller6503]

So, had insomnia for 25 years. Was given Ambian and has moderate success. Used light in the morning, exercise, routine meals, cut out alcohol and reduced caffeine. Nothing really helped UNTIL…..my doctor suggested hormone pellets. Sleep soundly 8.5 hours a night now. I wake refreshed with that feeling of complete calmness. Feeling very grateful that I tried pellets. I had been on biodentical hormone cream but had not had this effect.

[@InsomniaCoach]

I am so glad to hear you are doing better - thanks for sharing!

[@xeniastefanescu507]

Please let us know what,s the name of the pellets? What hormone ? Never heard about this, and an very interested, because I have chronic insomnia, and am exhausted so often. Thank you.

[@e.a.miller6503]

@@xeniastefanescu507 the hormone pellets are estradiol and testosterone. In addition I take progesterone orally. It goes just under your skin and is a much more consistently sustained release hormone replacement than transdermal patches or creams.

[@Antoniaxdowney]

@therapyinanutshell can you please do a video on how to get out of survival mode

[@AlenaryLey]

Thank you for this video! It’s so helpful that I’m taking notes😎 I live in Ukraine and sleep became so hard because of constant bombing and air alerts! For almost three years I had just a few nights of uninterrupted sleep and seek every means to fix that as much as I’m capable of

[@InsomniaCoach]

I can't even imagine how difficult your situation must be. What were the biggest insights or "ah-ha!" moments you took from this discussion?

[@chasingthewind4118]

I'm so sorry that you have to deal with that 🙏🥺

[@bellesterbeatty3571]

I'm so sorry for what you and your country are going through. ❤

[@wend3graham582]

I'm so sorry. Love from Australia.

[@estherringthegack7671]

You are amazing ❤

[@snoop3318]

Emma your timings are immaculate I just had a sleepless night

[@InsomniaCoach]

What did you take from this discussion? Was there anything useful in there for you?

[@KasiaWeszczak]

Thank you so much for making this video! I thought I was losing my mind from having insomnia on and off for several years. I’m listening to this video and laughing, because I have tried all of the things that you guys talk about. And now I understand that it is the resistance to experience insomnia is an issue. I am very grateful ❤

[@InsomniaCoach]

It is quite remarkable how similar the insomnia experience can be from person to person!

[@winkletter]

I feel like I can take the word "sleep" and replace it with so many other things I struggle with, and his advice would still apply.

[@InsomniaCoach]

100%! This approach can be a workable way of dealing with all the difficult stuff that comes with being a human being that our experience tells us is out of our direct control.

[@Myheadisthemoon]

Someone please tell me that when they wake up or can’t sleep it’s not always stressful thoughts but just random thoughts or songs stuck in your head? Because that makes me feel like I’m going crazy. I can talk myself off an anxiety ledge but racing thoughts are something else!

[@InsomniaCoach]

That is difficult. When we wake we can experience all kinds of different thoughts and feelings - after all, the human brain is a thought-generating machine! What you described isn't unusual and the thoughts (or songs) your brain chooses to come up with are probably beyond your direct control (unless your experience tells you otherwise). So, what might be most relevant here is how you respond since your response is an action that is within your control - and how that response is working for you.

[@Sunflowersarepretty]

Yes yes yes. I thought this only happened to me. Anytime i wake up either to use the washroom or something else my mind just starts playing songs or i have random thoughts

[@TkWen66-hf8hc]

Me too

[@InsomniaCoach]

@@Sunflowersarepretty You are not alone!

[@michellechang2538]

Thank you so much to have Martin on this insightful insomnia episode, he is amazing sleep coach, I have learned so much from him throughout my insomnia journey !! Thanks 🙏 again for sharing this podcast !

[@InsomniaCoach]

It's good to see you! Thank you for your kind words :)

[@lightitup33333]

Trying is trying. The state of sleep is the antithesis of trying. So I love it when someone says, “try as hard as you can to get sleep tonight. It’s so important.”

[@InsomniaCoach]

Yet another reason why all the unhelpful headlines and stories about sleep can make things so much more difficult!

[@kimlec3592]

Writing is good. It is quiet, private, and gets those worries thoughts & feelings out on the page.. & is available any time.

[@InsomniaCoach]

That sounds like a much better use of wakefulness compared to tossing and turning, battling wakefulness and going to war with your mind!

[@QwinnieLu56]

Thanks so much, both! Traditional sleep hygiene strategies haven't worked for most people I know who have insomnia. I'd never thought of sleeping as something "effortless". I guess that's why it's called falling asleep. Just let yourself fall 💤

[@InsomniaCoach]

That's a powerful insight. Many of us can reflect on a time when sleep wasn't an issue or a concern - and, if we do that, we might realize that we didn't need to do anything to make sleep happen. Undoing all the efforts, rules, and rituals we might have in place now (if they aren't getting us closer to where we want to be) can be a helpful way to move forward.

[@Woodlawn22]

I watched this really hoping he would talk about polyphase sleeping. I haven't been able to find a lot about it but I bet it applies to a lot of people. This is where you wake up after say 4-5 hours of sleep, get up for 3-4 hours, then back to bed for some more sleep. I have been in this sleep pattern now for years adding in an afternoon nap. It came on pretty gradually but now it is my usual. I am retired so this is possible but I wonder if, not only other retired people, but younger people with flexible work schedules are experiencing this.

[@monicagieck7975]

I worked nights for 25 years. I wake up at 4:00 am 2hr nap for me also.

[@Robnord1]

Exactly the same for me. It started almost 10 years ago when I hit 60. Not being completely retired, I was thankfully self employed, so I just had my customers adjust to the new me.

[@LoveeeeelyM]

Omg I experience this!! I didn’t know it had a name. I am not retired tho. I’m 34.

[@Woodlawn22]

@@LoveeeeelyM I would love to hear how you manage this. Do you have flexible working hours? I wonder how many people will discover this as a natural sleep pattern with more and more people either working on their own or having flex time at work! Maybe the "normal" 8 hours of sleep at night (dictated by tight work and family schedules) is not the only way humans naturally behave.

[@monicagieck7975]

@Woodlawn22 my doctor said not to worry about it. Just get 7 to 8 hrs of sleep anyway you can.

[@lauriemtz8616]

I wake up after 2 hours from pain and panic about the pain. Not sure what the approach is for painsomnia. It has not been successful to go back to sleep.

[@InsomniaCoach]

Pain definitely makes things more difficult - and, as you shared, it can come with its own difficult thoughts and feelings, too. When I work with clients in this situation, the approach isn't usually a whole lot different since chronic pain, like sleep, is often something we cannot directly or permanently control. The more we try to fight or avoid it, the more we can struggle and the more difficulty we can add on top of what we are experiencing. So, typically, I would suggest starting out by working on a lot of self-kindness and self-compassion since pain on top of insomnia is really difficult to deal with. Next, I would suggest exploring how you might be able to respond to waking during the night and experiencing the pain and the panic about the pain in a workable way. If your experience tells you that you cannot push the pain or the panic or the wakefulness away during the night through effort (an approach that is totally understandable, by the way) a more workable response might be to explore how you can experience all this difficult stuff with less struggle since struggle can often make all this difficult stuff even more difficult. How you might be able to build skill in acknowledging the presence of the pain, the wakefulness, and any other thoughts and feelings as more of a kind and compassionate observer rather than an opponent. There's no easy answer but I hope there might be something useful here. I wish you all the best.

[@dutchhustler]

I like it to hear other people with emma, this is a great topic, wish you could do more videos about calming down and handle stress

[@InsomniaCoach]

I was so glad to be on! Handling stress in a workable way might involve moving away from actively trying to "calm down" - because it's often when we try to fight or avoid certain thoughts and feelings (or focus all our energy and attention on the pursuit of certain thoughts and feelings) that we are more likely to struggle.

[@kennethsouthard6042]

This sounds a lot like the same tactics for handling anxiety, like willingness and choosing which thoughts to give attention to.

[@InsomniaCoach]

This approach can (and often is) used for many other difficult issues such as anxiety. Thanks for sharing this insight!

[@bouclette2102]

A Big thank you for this video ❤❤❤

[@InsomniaCoach]

Thank you for watching!

[@larryb131]

This is a really good, and really helpful video. Thank you for this. I wasn't aware that my own struggle was contributing to my insomnia

[@InsomniaCoach]

Thanks for sharing. Your newfound awareness is a great strength since, with that awareness, you are now better able to notice the appearance of struggle and you can then choose how to respond.

[@Lis4all]

So helpful. Thanks. 🙏🏼🕊

[@InsomniaCoach]

You're welcome! Was there a specific insight or snippet of information in here that you found to be particularly helpful?

[@Robnord1]

Currently having real problems getting enough good sleep, to the point of being very Life disrupting, so thank you very much for the video. I will try some different approaches as suggested. If the topic comes up again, please talk about waking because of physical pain. That is one of my major issues, and Rx's and self meds is not working.

[@InsomniaCoach]

Your willingness to explore a new approach is evidence of your growth mindset and your understanding that change and growth is always possible. That's a real strength! You might want to see my reply to lauriemtz8616 in the comment section here since they spoke about the difficulty of insomnia in the presence of pain, too. The fact you haven't found medication to be an effective solution isn't unusual - you definitely are not alone.

[@Robnord1]

@@InsomniaCoach Thank you Martin. Next time the tossing and turning begins, I'll acknowledge the pains and meditatively 'zone out' and do controlled deep breathing. I've had great success with that technique on things like dental pain and anxiety in office visits, and will see how it works with pains that wake me.

[@InsomniaCoach]

@@Robnord1 I wish you all the best! Deep breathing can be a helpful way to build skill in being more present and being more accepting of the presence of difficult thoughts and feelings. On the other hand, if we do it with the goal of eliminating certain thoughts and feelings we might set ourselves up for a struggle (especially if our experience tells us that thoughts and feelings cannot be directly or permanently controlled).

[@soggymoggytravels]

​@InsomniaCoach Another angle I'd love to see covered in a future video is sleep disturbance for those with myalgic encephalomyelitis (ME). Sleep remains elusive for those with ME, and yet they are a group of people who need it most and who spend the most time in bed.

[@samuelrodrigues2939]

Thanks Emma for this.. very helpful and also drives comments of other people with similar problems.. which is helpful to hear from everyone, grab different perspectives and not feeling that alone

[@InsomniaCoach]

Nobody with insomnia is ever alone!

[@samuelrodrigues2939]

@@InsomniaCoach specially in the middle of the night (😅).. jk, trying to keep the good humor whenever possible.. thanks for ur support and great info, Martin!

[@InsomniaCoach]

@@samuelrodrigues2939 Humor is a great strength :)

[@jertho8482]

I struggled with POTS, PTSD, CFS, unbelievable insomnia- 20 mins a night for months. Dr Guy Meadows book, The sleep Book, uses these exact techniques. It took years to get it enough, to not be scared of not sleeping. I occasionally have slight setbacks and realise I’ve started to try and control sleep again. I still can’t react to a few bad nights in a row, etc but I’m mostly there. It took a LOT of practice and many nights of no sleep. I now once I heal from chronic fatigue desperately want to become a sleep coach!

[@InsomniaCoach]

I have no doubt you'd be a great sleep coach and I am a big fan of Dr Meadows' book, too!

[@jertho8482]

@@InsomniaCoach - what a lovely comment, thank you! And thank you for your channel - I hope many people find relief from insomnia here 💕

[@InsomniaCoach]

@@jertho8482 Thank you for your kind words!

[@marcine4019]

thank you so much for sharing

[@InsomniaCoach]

Thank you for watching!

[@reneethorn145]

This is great! 🤗 I listened to 17 minutes and fell asleep 😁💕

[@InsomniaCoach]

The miracle cure has been found!

[@michelefinizio6520]

😊 thank you im up several times in the night i accept it although can be frustrated at times i just lay there and put on.a sleep hypnosis if not my anxious mind will keep going. I seldon get out of bed sometimes i just listen to my breath. The more i try to control and fix the more frustrated so i have to stay calm and accept this unti one day my nervous system will be regulated

[@InsomniaCoach]

As you shared, the more we try to control sleep the more we can find ourselves struggling with it. How is your current approach working for you?

[@michelefinizio6520]

When I let go of forcing my sleep I'm more at ease but when I find myself not sleeping when I want to I get frustrated it's a daily struggle so I accept it and sometimes get out of bed and do some EFT again that's doing something to try to fix at least am aware of my emotions and express it. I would love to take his sleep course but can't afford it.

[@InsomniaCoach]

​@@michelefinizio6520 What is your goal when you get out of bed to do some EFT?

[@michelefinizio6520]

@@InsomniaCoach I only do the EFT when I'm feeling stressed and frustrated and have an anxiety while laying there awake so my goal is to calm down for the past couple nights I've been very relaxed and accept the fact that I am awake cuz it's a normal part of sleep I've been doing your free sleep program and it's been helping me to accept that and to relax in bed

[@InsomniaCoach]

@@michelefinizio6520 Do you find that you can make yourself calm down and permanently get rid of stress, frustration, and anxiety by trying to fight all those feelings?

[@sherylbeamer7189]

This was absolutely helpful!🙏🏼💕 THANK YOU ❤

[@InsomniaCoach]

Glad to hear it! What did you find most helpful from this discussion?

[@justimagine2403]

Both Emma and Martin have soft rain like voices. Find therapists that bring answers to the table. Emma brings... hey here's stuff to try. My MD gives me Zolpidem, Alprazolam, Melatonin, Dox Succinate, 5 htp, benadryl, zyrtec, magnesium... so many bottles. It does make more sense to exercise more and cognitive behavioral therapy solutions than more bottles. hmm so much more to think about tonight.

[@InsomniaCoach]

Unfortunately most doctors receive very little training when it comes to insomnia, they rarely have the time available to explore alternative options to medication (such as CBT-I or ACT-I), and there is a lack of trained providers of these alternative approaches. I am glad to hear this discussion gave you some things to think about!

[@Makom2023]

Dr Martin Reed Website, Videos, emails and techniques in addition with Meditation and Wim Hof Breathing... Cure me. Thanks Dr. Reed In my opinion, the thing is how we judge or handle the anxiety and catastrophic thoughts while the body and brain just fall Sleep....

[@InsomniaCoach]

I am not a doctor but I appreciate your kind words and I am glad you are doing better - that's entirely down to your own willingness to explore a different approach and your commitment to taking action! I was merely your guide. You did all the work and now you are enjoying your reward!

[@odalesaylor]

Very freeing and his ideas resonate with the way I think and feel.

[@InsomniaCoach]

Glad to hear this!

[@AaronKamel]

Im in clonazepam to calm my anxiety at night so I can sleep, so I surely hope this helps, here we go again

[@InsomniaCoach]

I wish you all the best.

[@peterlegg1039]

Ive had insomnia 4yrs since withdrawal from antidepressants so hard to deal with

[@InsomniaCoach]

You're so right - it can be very hard to deal with. Do you feel your current approach to dealing with your insomnia is moving you closer to where you want to be?

[@brianne571]

I literally will go to bed in the afternoon or even hours before my bedtime , just to wake me up and have energy so I wont be sleepy in the livingroom to watch tv. I don't sleep. I sleep about 3 am and sleep till 9 am maybe. I'll feel sleepy on couch but go to bed and I'm more awake then the couch rightaway.

[@InsomniaCoach]

How is that working for you?

[@brianne571]

@InsomniaCoach it works actually/unfortunately lol. I wish I could go to bed to sleep not wake myself up.

[@InsomniaCoach]

@@brianne571 If you've found something that works for you, why is that unfortunate?

[@brianne571]

@InsomniaCoach when I go to bed in the afternoon to wake me up I'm not sleeping. My bed automatically wakes me up as If in drank a lot of coffee . I'd rater go to bed and sleep but instead I become more alert and awake. I need more sleep then staying till 3 or 4 am.

[@dee5356]

Thank you Emma and Martin for this video!

[@InsomniaCoach]

I am so grateful to Emma for giving me the opportunity to come on and share my thoughts on insomnia!

[@atticstattic]

Good advice - I'll sleep on it!

[@InsomniaCoach]

I love it! 👏

[@zmommy4044]

Mr. Reed, what do you know about light therapy in the morning? Also does your advice help with delayed sleep phase disorder?

[@InsomniaCoach]

That's a bit of a sticky subject - generally speaking, exposure to morning light can be a signal to the body clock that it's time to be awake rather than asleep so it might be helpful. My advice isn't intended to help with delayed sleep phase disorder but it can be a helpful way to deal with the difficulty and the struggle that might be present with it. For something like delayed sleep phase disorder, it would be best to find someone who specializes in circadian rhythm sleep disorders.

[@sirblanka]

Magnesium glycinate has done wonders for being able to fall asleep and sleep quality

[@InsomniaCoach]

Thanks for sharing - I am glad to hear you found something that's working for you and you are now able to fall asleep and sleep well!

[@zionnoel]

This reminds me of intuitive eating . . . except for sleep! Listening to your body:)

[@InsomniaCoach]

I like that! Thanks for sharing!

[@jennyzeng7015]

But what should I do if I want to keep an earlier sleep schedule than I usually do? I only have trouble sleeping when I want a change or if I’m going through some emotional roller coasters. If changes stop me from sleeping well, do I just go back to my old sleep schedule?

[@InsomniaCoach]

What do you currently do, and how is that working for you?

[@jennyzeng7015]

@@InsomniaCoach I was trying to change from 11:45 p.m - 7:30a.m. to 10:30 p.m - 6:30 a.m. It didn’t work and interrupted my usual good sleep. Since the day I switched, i had trouble sleeping and would woke up in early morning for two days. The third day, I had little sleep due to my anxiety of not getting enough sleep. Yesterday, I realized my problem is that I was stuck at the first bad sleep night and was thinking about this all day long. So I decided to pull myself from that thought and look forward regardless how I sleep. So yesterday, I went to bed at 11:45 and was woke only a few minutes earlier than my usual 7:30 clock. So I basically went back to my old schedule. But I still want to change and don’t know how.

[@carolineoates5964]

Oh that's me! I go to bed earlier because I am so exhausted.

[@InsomniaCoach]

That exhaustion can be so debilitating. How is going to bed earlier working for you?

[@carolineoates5964]

@@InsomniaCoach Thanks for your reply. Sometimes I drop off quickly and then wake up an hour or two later on. Or, lie awake for hours. I don't get out the bed often if I'm not sleeping because I feel the cold.

[@InsomniaCoach]

@@carolineoates5964 It sounds as though going to bed earlier might not be getting you closer to where you want to be.

[@carolineoates5964]

@@InsomniaCoach I'll try a later bedtime. Do you recommend day time naps or not?

[@jonnyo1802]

I'm so glad I watched this, thanks for making this video!

[@InsomniaCoach]

What was the biggest insight you took from this video, and how will you use that to change your current approach/response to sleep and insomnia?

[@jonnyo1802]

@@InsomniaCoach Probably the idea of not making too much effort to try to sleep as it just exacerbates the problem. I just never heard it explained like that. It was a big ah-ha moment for me. I think a lot of it just education, there's a lot of confusing information out there on the topic of sleep. I joined your mailing list and the lessons are great and very helpful(Nicolas Cage is absolutely the greatest actor in the world),. As for changes to my current approach, I think after listening to you talk, I just hold a much more relaxed attitude towards sleep and worry less about it, a lot of it is just understanding the basic concepts and then changing your attitude I think and the rest kind of fall in place on their own. I currently don't have any issues with insomnia but I have dealt with it in the past due to quitting addictions and being in withdrawal and the brain's wiring was just messed up for a while. It's probably the same when coming off of sleeping pills I imagine. Just gotta be okay with being awake for a while! Haha! It would have been nice to come across your stuff during that time, I certainly would have been less anxious and worried about not being able to fall asleep but I made it through alright :) I really appreciate the work you're doing. Thank you!❤

[@jonnyo1802]

@@InsomniaCoach Concepts like not making an effort and how being obsessive and trying to force sleep just excerbates the problem, not going to bed until you actually feel sleepy, not thinking you have to get 8 hours, all helped in making my attitude towards sleep more relaxed. The ideas seem counter-intuitive at first but make a lot of sense to me. I just never heard it explained this way before and it was like a big ah-ha moment for me. I joined your mailing list and the lessons are great and really helpful too (and absolutely yes, Nicolas Cage is the best actor in the world).. I don't have insomnia anymore but I have dealt with it in the past due to withdrawal from quitting addictions. I wish I have encountered your stuff then because I probably would have been less anxious and worried about not being able to sleep. I think that's another big part of this whole insomnia thing, addiction related brain changes and insomnia (both beavhioral and substance addictions), sleeping pills, rebound insomnia, etc. Another huge conversation. Anyway, I really appreciate the work you're doing Martin, it is important and truly helpful. Thank you

[@TheGuym619]

“The goal isn’t to control the uncontrollable” this is the KEY.. you can’t control your sleep so STOP trying. When your head hits the pillow and you get into a sleeping state let the thoughts, worries, feelings flow through you, acknowledge all thoughts as neutral. Befriend the negative thoughts and let them in, observe them, and let them pass.

[@InsomniaCoach]

Powerful words! Of course, it's so much easier said than done and this kind of approach often takes ongoing practice!

[@soggymoggytravels]

Another great video! If you do another sleep video, I wonder if it could include sleep with myalgic encephalomyelitis? Martin said there is no mystery about insomnia and that insomnia from person is identical, but those with ME go against the tide. Has Martin studied that?

[@InsomniaCoach]

Myalgic encephalomyelitis / chronic fatigue syndrome isn't my area of expertise and yet what I have found is that the approach to insomnia discussed in this video can also be helpful for so many challenges that we cannot directly control and/or that risk tangling us up in a struggle that pulls us further away from the life we want to live. How do you feel your experience with ME/CFS makes what was explored in this video less applicable or relevant to you? I'd love to know more!

[@user-in4mz9go4d]

I dont know if this qualifies as insomina but i find myself sleeping in during the day so this translates into not being able to sleep at night, its a loop im in. I know i have to break this loop and I'll sleep great

[@InsomniaCoach]

What's stopping you from getting out of bed at a consistent time?

[@anarchyangelo]

This is an important subject for me 🤙🏾

[@InsomniaCoach]

What was your biggest takeaway or the most important insight you took from this discussion?

[@djimiwreybigsby5263]

70 years insomniac here Despite working on the tao / zen advice of "accepting" that life has struggles and pain, I'm so cussing tired I just want to cry... Trying CBD tonight

[@InsomniaCoach]

That sounds difficult. Does your experience tell you that you can make sleep happen through effort?

[@manuelnolasco315]

Gracias por el vídeo en español

[@InsomniaCoach]

De nada!

[@faithcooper8935]

There are contradictions in sleep hygiene.

[@InsomniaCoach]

Sleep hygiene doesn't do a whole lot for people with chronic insomnia and it can even create more struggle. In the sense that sleep hygiene is intended to promote better sleep while sleep itself cannot be controlled, I would agree that this seems contradictory! Although we cannot control sleep itself, there are things we can do to help create better conditions for sleep.

[@peterlegg1039]

Im going to change my name to anxious 😊

[@InsomniaCoach]

I see what you did there 😆 - and that's one way to truly "own" a feeling!

[@shreyatiwary1878]

Who else is watching this video at 4:30 in the morning 🙃

[@sniperslim]

started a new job with a random mostly evenings schedule. messing me up big time

[@InsomniaCoach]

Working nights or working frequently changing shifts can definitely make sleep a lot more difficult.

[@hemalathasrinivas870]

Hi I dont feel sleepy even after not sleeping all night

[@InsomniaCoach]

That's not unusual. A couple of possible explanations: 1. You might have got some sleep without noticing/realizing it (this happens more often than we think). 2. Your brain is firing up to protect you from struggling with wakefulness - and that can temporarily suppress sleepiness.

[@justimagine2403]

If I don't get sleep I will make mistakes and lose my job... lose my job... lose my job.

[@InsomniaCoach]

That's a common fear associated with insomnia and it comes from your brain doing its job and looking out for you. As it does that job it tends to focus on worst possible outcomes since best possible outcomes aren't a threat or an obstacle to the life you want to live. There are a few ways to deal with this. A couple of options include: 1. Exploring the accuracy or validity of these thoughts. In this case, we might consider that we can make mistakes after a night of no sleep and we can make mistakes after a great night of sleep, too. Upon reflection, how likely are we to lose our jobs because of a mistake we make? How often has that happened to us in the past? 2. Acknowledge the thought, allow it to be present, and thank our brain for looking out for us.

[@justimagine2403]

@@InsomniaCoach Someone answered me! Honestly, thank you so much.!

[@InsomniaCoach]

@@justimagine2403 You're welcome! I wish you all the best.

[@EB-gt1pq]

I took a Lunesta, magnesium and melatonin, and barely slept at all😢

[@InsomniaCoach]

Many people find that medication and supplements aren't helping them get closer to where they want to be so you aren't alone in your experience. No supplement or medication can generate sleep (and sedation is not really the same thing as sleep) and the human body doesn't require any kind of supplement or medication to generate sleep. Sometimes it's all our ongoing (and understandable!) attempts to make sleep happen that makes things more difficult. Have you explored any alternatives to medication or supplements? Did this video discussion give you any ideas to explore or pursue?

[@BereniceThring]

I loved it! Im sweating😅

[@InsomniaCoach]

Thanks for sharing! What was missing from this video? Were there any gaps or areas you wish were covered/explored in more detail?

[@BereniceThring]

@@InsomniaCoach No I think you covered all arears. Think my comment came out wrong, was meaning to say, I loved it! Im sleepy 😴

[@BeverleyJohnson-nv1zm]

How long dors it goes on l have it about three months stress sister died and taking cre of my sidter efore l slept well can you help me

[@InsomniaCoach]

In my experience, insomnia is likely to continue for as long as we try to control sleep and battle with wakefulness and all the difficult thoughts and feelings that can come with it.

[@HannaK-ql2mt]

I’ve been taking eszoplicone for 2 years if not I won’t even fall to sleep . But for over 30 years I never had an issue . Is it possible that one day I might be off the Rxs and sleep with out them?

[@InsomniaCoach]

That's completely possible and totally achievable. I have absolutely no doubt about it.

[@karenbrown893]

I sent my comment before I was done, so here is part 2. My doctor prescribed a very low dose of lorazepam and I immediately was able to fall asleep and stay asleep for at least 7 hours. I have been taking it for years with no problem Now, my doctor wants me to stop taking it. I have tried every sleep hygiene suggestion out there to no avail. I do not want to be unable to drive because I am impaired. The thought of causing an accident, injuries or death of someone because I can't sleep is horrifying. What will life be if I don't sleep all night and wander around like a zombie all day? Sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture. While I don't want to take prescription sleep meds for the rest of my life, what is the alternative?

[@katesmiles4208]

Find another doctor

[@InsomniaCoach]

Can you remember a time when sleep wasn't an issue, struggle, or a concern? If so, is your current approach to sleep different now compared to then? If so, are there any insights there?

[@Pereira-xr4qk]

👍

[@InsomniaCoach]

Thanks for the thumbs up!

[@larss4119]

Wth is an email sequence? Isn’t that just, um, emails? Do we have to brand and market every millimeter of existence?

[@naomivance7454]

Definitely a struggle and a CPAP makes it worse

[@InsomniaCoach]

CPAP can make things more difficult and I have worked with many clients using CPAP who still found this approach helpful. You aren't alone!

[@randylikins5139]

I make up a dream

[@gamingworld3803]

Doctor My brain wakes me up when I am going to sleep pls help I don’t get sleep for 1week and I am getting more anxiety

[@InsomniaCoach]

I am not a doctor but what I can say is that waking up as you are falling asleep is not unusual and many people struggling with insomnia will be able to relate to your experience. How do you currently respond to that sensation of waking right up as you fall asleep?

[@gamingworld3803]

@@InsomniaCoach Thanks for replying. Ok so before that I want to say that I was stressed and anxious a lot because of what is going on in my life also before 1week I can sleep easily for 7-9hrs and also one day my dad just just woke me up with a lound noise and since then this thing is happening. So what exactly happened in the initial days is that when ever my body is trying to fall asleep or go in unaware state every time my brain is giving me a reflex for example if someone is suddenly appearing outta no where and u get a bit scared or shocked something like that and my heart beat also goes up a bit and this thing keeps on happening. Although some days I can sleep up to 4-5hrs although I don’t think I get deep sleep I see dreams and feels week or sleepy next day and I also have health anxiety so I am afraid that this is a Prion Disease and I will die 😔. I have seen a homeopathic doctor and talked with few others they all say it’s most probably stress but I am now so anxious of being woken up that due to anxiety I can’t reach that state and even if I do 6-7 times atleast I get woken up and my body becomes more anxious and that state continues. Most of the people afraid of not being able to sleep but I fear death and fear prion disease although I am dumb but what can I do if I feel like sleeping and anxiety all day .

[@gamingworld3803]

@@InsomniaCoach Sir, Pls reply if u can cause I didn’t sleep properly now for almost 11days and feels terrible. Before I can easily sleep for 7-9hrs and it was so deep that even if my mom or alarm use to call me I didn’t even realise. One day randomly the brain kept giving me signals just when I am at the verge of falling asleep and this happened 10-12days and also my heart heart start to go up for few seconds like I am scared or something and more this happened more I am getting anxious and fear so that duo to that I can’t even reach the state were this happens.But I have realised that when I take an Allergic medicinal table called Livocitrazine (sleeping mistake) I lose my awareness and go to sleep atleast for 4-5hrs and then it’s again hard to fall asleep.I am having a fear or death right now and pls help me if u know how to.

[@skabarella]

uhm, so, there is no how did you approach sleep "before" - my troubles go back as long as I live. I had massive trouble falling asleep as a child, so much that every once in a while my parents gave me baldrian sirup or whatever that was. I woke with sleep paralysis from night terrors and nightmares that disrupted almost every nights sleep by playing the loop of me getting devoured by 3 spiders that were the size of a small house, was then too afraid to even move, hid under the blanket because the monsters could eat everything that wasn't covered by the blanket. This sleep cycle continued, maybe got a little bitter, but then came the s.a. when I was 14 and it got worse. Etc pp. - really, I cannot remember any time in my life where I did not have real issues with sleep. Guess I don't need to watch that video any further. Btw I incorporated the sleep hygiene rules since a few years into my life. I hate it, but it helped a lot. Also: I was taking an SSRi for around 15 years and it seems, that that helped a lot with sleeping, because I am on the journey of tapering it off and since then new problems arrived and here I am again with the insomnia.

[@johnlennox-pe2nq]

you both didnt cover physical pain - head, stomach, joint.....wakes me up, cant drop off, sleep shallow - thanks; many painkillers affect guts on lying down!

[@InsomniaCoach]

Physical pain can definitely make things more difficult - and, like insomnia, it can often become more difficult the more we struggle with it because that struggle can make it even harder for us to live the life we want to live. I hope things improve for you soon and I wish you all the best. What you are going through is hard.

[@johnlennox-pe2nq]

@@InsomniaCoach thank you for your kind words. I have had myalgic encephalitis /M.E. since 1992; chronic fatigue, weakness, tiredness, all are not equal; s. I usually take paracetamol through the night [for headaches], and Tramadol before bed to take the edge off the pain. A GP upset me - told me to join a walking club; she broke NICE guideline; didnt visit her again - clueless, w/o a word of compassion

[@evahometx100]

Heavy alcohol consumption and some medication can also cause insomnia.

[@InsomniaCoach]

There are probably as many triggers for insomnia as there are people in the world - and alcohol and medication can definitely influence sleep. If there's no obvious cause and when we find ourselves putting a lot of effort into sleep and continue to struggle, then the original trigger is usually less relevant than how we are currently approaching sleep and responding to insomnia.

[@giacintaah]

What about when you literally do all of this & you're still awake every morning at 3am wide awake & have been for the past 4 years

[@InsomniaCoach]

That sounds difficult. What, specifically, are you doing in response to waking at 3:00 AM? Is your approach to sleep today different to how it was 4 years ago? If so, what actions are you engaging in now that you didn't engage in before, and how are they working for you?

[@shujahoda164]

As an experiment, stay awake the whole night and see how it is the next day at work. Is the day a disaster as you predicted or is it slightly hard to focus at times but you get through the day ok. Try to go to sleep the normal time and you will be tired enough to fall asleep

[@jinxcrafter]

This sometimes works, but sometimes I end up dozing off somewhere between 6-9am even if I've already had an energy drink OR I will be up for more than 24 hours and STILL not going to sleep before 3 or 4am. Incredibly frustrating.

[@PhilipLoader]

​@@jinxcrafter I find EXACTLY the same thing. Frustrating as heck.

[@giacintaah]

This doesn't work for me lol

[@InsomniaCoach]

Experiments can be a helpful way to test the accuracy of some of our thoughts and they can also be a helpful way to make changes feel a bit more approachable, too!

[@MitchellGreen]

I am curious about he feels about napping.

[@InsomniaCoach]

Daytime naps can reduce sleep drive and that can make sleep at night more difficult. Naps taken earlier in the day and limited to about 20 minutes will reduce the impact on nighttime sleep. Does this help?

[@MitchellGreen]

@@InsomniaCoach yes thanks so very much for that !

[@InsomniaCoach]

@@MitchellGreen You are most welcome! I wish you all the best!

[@annemarie3140]

It's weird when you have to fight your own brain.

[@InsomniaCoach]

Why fight?

[@MrCurlz]

Only valid option - waiting for the "ultimate sleep device" which acts like an off switch

[@InsomniaCoach]

That one already exists and it's built inside every one of us! Once we've been awake for long enough, sleep happens. Unfortunately, the more we (completely understandably) try to make sleep happen, the longer it can take to happen.

[@kyokisaru]

None of this seems to cover people with PTSD.

[@InsomniaCoach]

Why do you feel this doesn't cover people with PTSD?

[@heaven7360]

So don't do anything and just not sleep for days weeks? Especially with older people, you could get really sick from not doing something. The ideas sound interesting but don't really help me.

[@InsomniaCoach]

Thank you for the opportunity to clarify! This approach isn't about doing nothing - it's about doing things that don't add more difficulty on top of all this difficult stuff and won't keep us tangled up in a struggle. Additional difficulty and struggle often comes from trying to control what our experience tells us cannot be controlled. As an example, if our goal was to turn the moon into cheese, we could try and try and try to make that happen - but no matter how hard we try we would not be able to turn the moon into cheese. And, the more we try, the more of our focus and energy and attention is consumed and that makes it even harder for us to live the life we want to live. If sleep could happen through effort, insomnia wouldn't exist. Typically, it's all the understandable effort we put into sleep that makes sleep more elusive. Does your experience tell you that you can make sleep happen through effort? If so, what do you do to make sleep happen when you want it to happen? If not, how is this approach helping you?

[@heaven7360]

@@InsomniaCoach Your ideas sound better than horrible nights tossing and turning...feeling every pressure point, etc. I think perhaps I could just let go of the freak out of not sleeping a bit better if my anxiety wasn't so pressuring right now. I have asthma that is exacerbated when I don't sleep and it's pretty bad. Also, extreme anxiety over some situations I'm going through. When I don't sleep the anxiety is doubled. I would still not totally turn off entirely though to your ideas. They make more sense than the many nights I've experienced with tossing and turning etc., which is exhausting on top of the lack of sleep. Maybe when I can get control over my anxiety especially I will be more capable of letting go. I feel I need to rely on sleeping medication but I really don't like it. Sometimes life is just a tad complicated!

[@InsomniaCoach]

@@heaven7360 I am yet to meet someone who struggles with insomnia who doesn't recognize the presence of anxiety or other difficult thoughts and feelings as making sleep more difficult - so you definitely aren't alone there. The fact you are open to the idea of exploring a different approach is evidence of your growth mindset and understanding that change and personal growth is always possible, even when things are really difficult. How do you feel you will be able to "let go" if your current strategy is getting control over your anxiety?

[@elisabethwyndaele5912]

Oh yeah and my partner know how to trigger me 😢everytime he find something to make my life more difficult

[@jennymcelligott]

Omg I know it’s easier said than done but break up!

[@carolineoates5964]

Is he the right person for you?

[@InsomniaCoach]

There are countless triggers for insomnia - and our partners can certainly be one of them!

[@evelynjorgensen6821]

Should have watched it last night. All videos for sleep and relaxing didn't help

[@InsomniaCoach]

Videos can be a great source of information but they can't make sleep happen, unfortunately! Quite often, the more we try to make sleep happen the more difficult it can become.

[@Brody.W]

Y'all have my agreement to be bale to sleep in Christ Jesus of Nazareth....

[@randylikins5139]

Makeup and fantasy

[@user-fw7qk3uz5v]

Zzzzz …

[@InsomniaCoach]

Mission accomplished!

[@MishMacky]

That strategy doesn't work for everyone, sorry.

[@InsomniaCoach]

What strategy, specifically? And, if the strategy did work, what would be different?

[@sanctusoccidere2542]

I just wanna state that this doesn't work for people with PTSD kind of analyzing it he has some descriptions of PTSD like no feeling safe... I can see why I get mad when I see this video I feel like when you sluff it off and compare it to one maybe to nights bad sleep it makes me feel hurt bc Its not about bad sleep habits.... then when i do sleep if I dont have my pills to stop my night terrors I will never actually hit rem so for the past 2 decades of 3 to 4 hours every other day.... There is reason no sleep is a form a torture sometimes it even physically hurts.

[@InsomniaCoach]

What is it about the approach discussed in this video that you feel doesn't work for people with PTSD? If it did work, what would be different?

[@justimagine2403]

Hyper vigilance. And daytime caffeine. 7 different medications for sleep... then alcohol... or nyquil. ack!

[@InsomniaCoach]

It makes sense that you are experiencing hyper vigilance when you are (understandably) trying so hard to make sleep happen. That's going to prompt your problem-solving mind to be more active and alert as it goes about its job of looking out for you. That, in turn, can make things more difficult - especially if you respond as most of us are hard-wired to respond (by trying to fight or avoid whatever your mind is doing). You aren't alone and I wish you all the best.

[@justimagine2403]

@@InsomniaCoach Honestly, thank you! It is cognitive behavioral... when stress and work goes away I can fall asleep... instantly. I think there is a correlation !

[@InsomniaCoach]

@@justimagine2403 If only there was a magic switch that could turn off stress - unfortunately, our experience usually tells us that one doesn't exist! And trying to find something that doesn't exist can sometimes create a struggle that makes things more difficult.