Internet Articles On Historical Weapons Are Just... Wow...

Did you know the Bagh Nakh and the Urumi are amongst the TOP POPULAR weapons in history? Or that a khopesh (designed by Klingons) weighs more than most greatswords? Or that the ancient Greek shield was a floating device? No? Clearly you haven't been blessed by random internet articles...
In summary: CITATION NEEDED!
Videos I'm mentioning here (or that are directly relevant):
Viking Two Handed Swords? - History vs. Fantasy
• Viking Two Handed Swor...
Yes, Giant Swords Existed, BUT...
• Yes, Giant Swords Exis...
The Atlatl: Most Underrated Stone Age Tool?
• The Atlatl: Most Under...
An Unnecessarily In-Depth Discussion of Whip Swords
• An Unnecessarily In-De...
What I'm wearing:
fantasmagoria.shop/ct177
** Sources / Picture credits **
Gastraphetes (earliest known crossbow) demonstrated by Tod’s Workshop
• Gastraphetes
Top 18 Popular Ancient Weapons (the article I'm responding to)
www.ancienthistorylists.com/a...
commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Fi...
commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Fi...
upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi...
www.cambridge.org/core/journa...
** Music credits **
"Water Temple" by El Corleo
opengameart.org/content/water...
Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 license (CC BY 3.0)
Outro:
"Highland Storm" by The Slanted Room Records
theslantedroom.github.io/stev...
Used with artist's permission
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#skallagrim #weapons #reaction

[@johnrobie7444]

Assassins would typically ambush targets by leaping out from behind hoplons, stunning the bodyguards with spikey rings, and then dispatching them with whip swords. If in danger, they could always escape by sailing away on their shields.

[@amirhosseinmaghsoodi388]

You certainly assassinated me with this comment.

[@m0-m0597]

Hello I'm here to listen to Skal complaining about stuff. That's why I subscribed in the first place

[@kuja025]

haha

[@skibidi.G]

THIS EXAXTLY!!! 😮

[@thedude5449]

I don't believe this ever happened. I think you made it up.

[@reapr31337]

Ah yes, the highly effective and versatile Spartan warrior. In addition to being excellent heavy infantry, his shield also allows him to act as a naval and stealth unit.

[@EGRJ]

Too OP. Plz nerf.

[@CaptainVincentRiley]

The Spartan Silver Surfer units were infamous in their time.

[@simonmagid4205]

I think I know where the element of surprise came in. It stemmed from the utter shock of seeing the Spartans being able to use shields that weighed more than thirteen kilos. And could somehow still float.

[@oz_jones]

Apparently The profession of a Spartan isnt OAAH but a sailor

[@erikreber3695]

I'm dying. 😂

[@dearcastiel4667]

90% sure that was AI written, when you ask AI's about weapons and stuff, specially broad questions they have a tremendously hard time not picking video-game and movie stuff in their infos. I once asked ChatGPT how to defeat a historical greek phalanx, the reply was to use cavalry, archers or ELEMENTAL attacks and that I should remember that phalanx are fictional enemies and are not found in the real world. Then I remembered that Demon Souls has a boss called the Phalanx and the AI most likely got a lot of its infos from the game despite me telling it I'm talking about the historical thing...

[@Skallagrim]

I mean, elemental attacks would probably have been pretty effective against a Greek phalanx. xD

[@mennograafmans1595]

I am sure any firebased weapon, like burning oil-pots thrown by a catapult, or some form of early flamethrowers, would be very effective against any closed formation like a phalanx. But how often that actually happened outside the movie Gladiator is debatable. 😅

[@CyberVonCyberus]

Didn't even mention the cheapest way to defeat the boss which is firebombs, smh.

[@MrArg16]

Elemental? You mean like, the element of surprise? That spartan shields are known for?

[@dmgroberts5471]

ChatGPT: "Use horses against spears, archers against shields, and attacks that don't really exist. TaCtIcAl!"

[@midora588]

Well, I guess if a shield can act as a flotation device, it sure gets the element of surprise automatically.

[@ArkadiBolschek]

I'd be surprised

[@breaden4381]

It’s witchery

[@aaftiyoDkcdicurak]

And my knife can act as a dildo.

[@rainmaker9300]

Such a defensive implement would surely assist in ending your foe rightly.

[@baraka629]

you can outflank the enemy formations by having your guys all stand on their shield, activate the flotation device and fly right over the foes' heads and hit them in their back.

[@garrettschienschang7898]

I’m surprised they didn’t mention how good of an assassination kit it would be to add archimedes death ray to your shield and rings for a ranged option

[@EGRJ]

I assume that would be a New Game+ option in the crafting system.

[@dracocrusher]

Never forget that the Mythbusters tested and re-tested the ray (thanks, Obama) and got zero results. I'll always remember that great shot of Jamie standing in the beam like "Well... we made the death ray..... and I'm clearly not dead yet....."

[@krikeydial3430]

I don't want to be ring fingered by a female ninja!! 😭🥷

[@baraka629]

​@@dracocrusheri thought it was made for making ships catch on fire

[@dracocrusher]

@@baraka629 That's kind-of the thing. Archimedes didn't really ever 'make' a Death Ray, the story is that he just told soldiers to use their bronze shields to reflect light on the ship. Which would have maybe heated it up a bit, but if it's not a smooth reflective surface then you're already losing energy. The Mythbusters also did test it against an actual full-sized ship, and after it didn't work President Obama cameo'd sending them a video message asking them to test it again. Yeah, that wasn't a joke, it actually happened, lol! It didn't change the results, but they got a bunch of kids from a local school to show up and hold concave mirrors to help out as a science project. So that was pretty neat and wholesome. But yeah, the energy dispersal was just way too high. You CAN burn wood with a strong enough mirror, but it has to be pretty big and it has to be focusing light directly on a single nearby point for an extended period of time. And that's just way too specific to do pragmatically at a distance.

[@alzandermuller]

Smells like some AI-written article shenanigans 😅 I'd like to see more of this, maybe as an ongoing series!

[@HerraTohtori]

Absolutely, that was the feeling I got as well. Totally typical to the bullcrap that ChatGPT sometimes comes up with to "fill in the gaps" with something that matches its training data. The images were then selected by someone who didn't really have much of an idea about anything the article was about.

[@alzandermuller]

@@HerraTohtori could have easily been selected by some AI agents, like autogpt, first one gets a list of potential popular weapons, then another fills in the descriptions and another grabs likely images from the internet 🤔

[@dimitrilium3912]

No clearly a human with no grasp of reality outside manga, anime and movies. The Urumi being an assassin weapon clearly come from someone reading Berserk. The shield as floatation devise also come from some movie or anime I can't remember.

[@alzandermuller]

@@dimitrilium3912 interesting. Either way I wouldn't be surprised 🤣

[@suedenim]

​@@alzandermullerit's like a Turing test, but for artificial stupidity. Is it written by an AI, or by some totally clueless human, possibly first in another language?

[@inciaradible7144]

Did you know, the reasons the Spartans did not use ships is because they would simply sail on the water on their shields, gaining the element of surprise!

[@simonmagid4205]

It worked on me. I am SHOCKED, SHOCKED I tell you O.O

[@tarvoc746]

So they mastered the element of water *AND* the element of surprise? Not fair!! Only the Avatar is supposed to be able to bend more than one Element!!

[@Gibblets411]

Stunned... perhaps? *dr evil finger*

[@Senior-Donjusticia]

Of course shields acted as flotation devices. How do you think Viking boats managed to stay above the water? They strapped a bunch of shields on the side! Same with Triremes. What is the propeller of an airplane or the blades of a helicopter if not a bunch of shields spinning very fast?

[@Enyavar1]

By your claim these shield-longships were essentially the precursors of wheeled steamships. But you're wrong: The vikings _strapped the shields to the paddles_ and then they could use them as _stilts, imitating water-striders_ ... Viking ships with experienced stiltsmen could run extremely fast that way.

[@rachdarastrix5251]

@@Enyavar1 The way you reply to the above joke I would almost think you thought they were being serious. Almost... But thankfully I know better.

[@Senior-Donjusticia]

@@rachdarastrix5251 We are *DEADLY* serious!

[@rachdarastrix5251]

@@Senior-Donjusticia Huh.... Usually a serious reply to the above comment means it was a joke. How unusual.

[@koanbonwa]

All of that and more. Shields were truly the original swiss army knife! I really needed some top-tier silly today! 😂 thanks guys!

[@leppeppel]

Archimedes' death ray: the only thing capable of stopping a Hoplite stealthily invading from the sea on his floating shield.

[@richardhockey8442]

apart from a army of mall ninjas wielding tiger claws, urumi and zombie slayer khopeshs

[@Practitioner_of_Diogenes]

The funny part, other than the fact the whole article comes off as AI generated, is that the "Khopesh" is actually Diana's weapon from League of Legends. The weapon itself is based on a Khopesh, but isn't one-handed and is nearly the same size as its wielder. Iirc, when asked about it, Riot employees said that's not a Khopesh, just based on one, citing that it's too large to actually be one.

[@benstewpanada]

It is her weapon ye

[@JRockySchmidt]

Ran to the comments to say this, turns out you can pull all enemies in in a single move😂

[@adamsvrzic809]

Maybe hats where all the weight comes from

[@TheLiamis]

The element of surprise was that you can also parachute with it. It was so surprising that the author of that material wouldn't have seen it coming.

[@dualistic6916]

True, its one of those things you really have to see to believe. Hence the immense surprise damage inflicted on an unsuspecting victim hundreds of feet below

[@nerscyllam4735]

My BF has a job writing articles like these. A website basically commissions a content generation company as a middleman and then freelance writers work for the content generation company based on the parameters they're given, which are based around optimizing search engine results. The actual writers have to do like a dozen of these a day in order to live off of so research usually amounts to a five minute goggle search and then enough padding to hit a paragraph count since they know nothing about the topic when they're assigned to write the article.

[@Skallagrim]

That explains a lot.

[@dmwanderer9454]

AI generated list? I cannot realistically believe a human would say "the size of the shield also acted as a floatation device."

[@marcogenovesi8570]

probably AI, but cheap human contractors have been writing nonsense "articles" for a while too

[@DwarfInBlues]

Have you never played classic "Vikings"? If a shield can be a parachute / glider, why not a boat?

[@jaceg810]

Honestly more likely to be some underpaid person they hired to boost ratings. I think that even just using chat gpt would yield consistently better results.

[@stevenreckling203]

I was just thinking that.

[@MaxDrawsStuff]

AI will generate much more appropriate list.

[@Zetact_]

Maybe they assumed that "return home with your shield or on it" means that the Spartans could use the shield as a boat?

[@bungeetoons]

I feel like that's the equivalent of trying to stand up on a boogie board expecting it to float. This thing's a bowl of metal smaller than an adult, it couldn't possibly float (with a soldier) it'd tip over enough to spill water into itself or capsize first. The article totally made stuff up for lack of time or care.

[@johnrobie7444]

That's what I was thinking. Though we're probably giving the writer/AI too much credit.

[@Eisenwulf666]

i thought they meant skateboarding like Legolas, but your theory has at least a reason behind it

[@MrSnoopy100]

ESL MOMENT😂

[@LK041]

I think the "floatation device" thing comes from the story of how during Alexander's conquests, during the assault on one particular city (I don't remember which, Tyre maybe), some of his guys either waded or treaded water in a moat or something and held their shields up for other dudes to walk over to the walls. You don't have to believe it but there is a historical anecdote to support it.

[@Aliyah_666]

I mean maybe..idk as I haven't read anything like that. It doesn't make much sense to me personally as if they could tread water what was the point of having other dudes walk across the tops. Plus how high is this hypothetical water level. Just seems needlessly complicated.

[@LK041]

@@Aliyah_666 yeah that was my thinking as well, but I imagine the idea was that it would be difficult to wade or swim over under arrow shot, so each dude would build the bridge by walking forward and dropping into the water and then be protected from above, and then the assault party could walk over and hold their shields up the entire time. it would be a fun experiment to try with soft-tipped arrows, if nothing else.

[@iivin4233]

Now I want to know if a hoplon actually would float. "Jack! There's no room on the hoplon for you."

[@AGrumpyPanda]

Would a hoplon float? Quite possibly. Would a person be able to float on a hoplon? Probably not.

[@negation1029]

For the Hoplon shield, I surprised that you said nothing about the shield is about 2m "long" As for the latter, we all know that they used the shield as the floating device by riding it to hover up about 20-30 meters in the air then jump and attack enemies from above, hence the "element of surprise"

[@shrootskyi815]

I was also surprised he didn't comment on the Hoplon shield weighing 13.6kg, apparently. Sounds more like a sinking device than a floating device, honestly.

[@LaPrincesseLointaine]

@@shrootskyi815 It's probably floating in a meaning of "flying", so the weight doesn't really matter when the antigravitation function is on, obviously.

[@sw-gs]

Spartan shield description was accurate as it was depicted as such in documentary "300" by known archeologist Frank Miller.

[@Raptor788]

This was hilarious. Please do more of these! If you were planning to cover more articles, I'd love to see you do them in another video.

[@akba666]

The aspis and urumi make a perfect stealthy assassination combo.

[@tommeakin1732]

This strikes me as being AI generated. Like the weirdness of things like putting in a soldier in a list of weapons, combined with all of the clearly wrong info/data, alongside the structuring of sentences all give me feelings of AI generation

[@tamlandipper29]

Yeah. Listing so many weapons as steel screams reading modern weapons for sale.

[@LetholdusKaspyr]

This is such amazing research that the writer could be a news journalist.

[@Enyavar1]

for FoxMax RuTV

[@FattyMcFox]

This is either an AI generated article based on google searches for their popularity metric or the author knows Skall, and hates him. Could this have been a murder attempt by causing an anyurism? Is the article itself one of the popular weapons?

[@youremakingprogress144]

"A popular assassination tool, the Internet Troll Article was made of steel and weighed 17 kilograms."

[@mauser98kar]

More like an attempt to cause a death by cringe.

[@sams_enfp]

@@youremakingprogress144 of course it would be made of steel 🤣

[@NDOhioan]

@@youremakingprogress144 "Primarily a bludgeoning implement, it was designed to chop through the sanity of anyone who read it."

[@Jacky_boy001]

Just the notification made me go: SERIOUSLY? big enough to be used as a floatation device, and used for sneak attacks. I'm sorry, but are we talking about soldier with a shield, or an assassin with a surfboard.

[@Marotonella]

I think the tiger claws could be regarded as a mix between a climbing tool and a "cane blade" in terms of weaponery value, but they shouldn't be disregarded so easily. "Tiger claws" weren't meant to be used in battle (because obiously) but to give you an advantage in a weapon free situation. If whatever busines that brought you there scalates (or you want it to scalate...) they could very easily give you the upper hand. They can deal very nasty cuts to the the face IF you target the forehead or the eye brushes. If they try to wrestle you down they are in a pain ride for sure; and if they try to punch you you can check it with the blades. Only problem if they go for their concealed weapons (namely a knive) and are able to deploy them before you're all over them. And here is my unasked opinion about this subject and my sacrifice to the algorithm ;-)

[@tarille1043]

They weren't meant to be weapons. They were to aid with climbing and in combat you could sometimes try to parry a blade with them (Albeit as a last ditch effort given how dangerous it would be)

[@Skallagrim]

As a tool rather than a weapon they make much more sense, yeah.

[@timmiesvedberg7990]

@@Skallagrim They might also have been used in a similar manner to the japanese multitool claws, the name of which has never been made clear to me, mainly to assist with grabbing onto cloth since you were wearing them anyway after climbing the wall.

[@garyballard179]

Scalate is a template engine for use in website design, I believe. Did you mean _escalate?_

[@Marotonella]

@@garyballard179 If it means to increase somthing in any given way yes

[@victord4662]

To be fair, steel production existed since at least 1800 BC and iron-steel composite weapons could be found comfortably by the time of Alexander the Great. For example, Pleiner examined a number of Celtic swords from 400-200 BC and about 60% of them were iron-steel composites, usually with a steel edge and the rest of the sword made of iron.

[@Skallagrim]

There is some grey area, sure. But if you wanted to simplify and only mention one or the other, "iron" is a lot more accurate than "steel".

[@victord4662]

​@@SkallagrimIndeed, it's just that I believe that the additional information and nuance is necesarry in this situation in order to avoid misinformation. If someone who didn't know anything about this subject were to watch this video and not do any additional research afterwards, I bet that he would then scoff at anyone who claimed that steel was used for weapons in that period, so if I were you I would include that additional bit in the future. Also, OMG HE REPLIEDT!!! HI! 😁

[@dragon12234]

I mean, yeah, the Bronze Age is usually said to have been between 2000-500 BCE, depending where you were. Alexander and the Celts were comfortably in the Iron age. The reason why the large shields would still have been made out of bronze (if not wood and leather) is that bronze could easily be casted into large sheets. It was much harder to work iron and steel like that, which is why proper steel single-plate cuirasses and the like took until the 14th century

[@asahearts1]

Yo Skall, please tell us your ideas for enchanted items. Personally I like the idea of a flying shield (as opposed to a flying sword seen in Xiania). If it can project a repelling force it can push enemies away instead of pushing off the ground.

[@blackdeath4eternity]

not to-bad a idea, though if a force can send your enemies sprawling it can do the same to you if not braced right.... could make a quite interesting plot point/re-occurring trope in a fantasy novel... personally i think enchanted boots are often overlooked... i mean if they are enchanted to stay the right temperature & always stay dry you would never have wet feet!!!! add in a never tired enchantment & you could stand watch over the boring weeks/years before something exciting happens.

[@asahearts1]

@@blackdeath4eternity In the Divine Dungeon series there's an enchanted boot with a liquid repelling enchantment. It was made to repel acid someone was about to step in. Someone else took the enchantment and put it on some gauntlets which made the person's punches repel the target's *blood and orher bodily fluids out of their body.*

[@christopherreed4723]

​@@blackdeath4eternityA no-blisters charm. Also protects you from collapsed arches. Incidentally, Terry Pratchett pointed out the problem with Seven-League Boots. It basically revolves around the fundamental issue of one foot suddenly being twenty-one miles away from the other foot. Rather like Paranoia's rocket boots, which are very good, reliable items, and contain very powerful miniaturized rocket motors...but no reliable means to coordinate one boot with the other, so their use requires considerable skill, and there's a very steep learning curve.

[@KraXiWan13]

The source for the Kakute, 5:28, was probably Tylee on Avatar: the Last Airbender, although that's hardly a scholarly source, lol.

[@marekverescak2493]

Or fist of north star

[@uncabob214]

I can feel my brain starting to disintegrate.

[@malahamavet]

I like the format! also the high pitched mocking voice actually sounded like another person so do more of that, and more voices in general, don't be shy ;D I also like this format, felt very entertaining, very nice editing! I like your more edited videos! I also like your videos where you just talk, but I really appreciate the ones like this. It was fun, it felt like when I discovered your channel, this has a classic Skall mark 😁

[@mingcr9470]

There actually was a 3.2kg version of the Khopesh that warriors of the Yuan dynasty used to hunt Godzillas on the Brazilian shores. I thought that everyone knew that ... /s

[@riemaennchen]

Obviously you use the Aspis like a diving bell (here comes the floating device into play) and use the little air it holds to sneak up on your enemy through the water.

[@Myomer104]

My guess as to the "surprise" aspect of the aspis is the bashing ability, but even that is dubious.

[@webbowser8834]

I think that's correct, but tbh the article has so many issues that minus 1 issue does little to salvage its credibility.

[@MadSwedishGamer]

I like how they just gave up on writing length and weight for the rings and just gave a vague "uhhh... not much."

[@GUNNER67akaKelt]

Gotta say @3:00 That's a pretty cool looking khopesh-like thing, though it looks like it would be almost as dangerous to the wielder as to the intended target.

[@TheUglyFish]

It's Dianas khopesh from League of Legends. Not so much self harm as magical moon magic

[@cjhinsley4882]

Cool thing about the Bagh Nakh. It wasn't an assassin's tool. It was for self defense. The claw was used for causing painful injuries to the hands and wrists in grappling.

[@TheOnOfLostSouls]

I could be wrong but I am pretty sure that the Khopesh is a recreation of Diana's weapon from league of legends. And it's a safe guess too with how popular LOL is

[@infestissumam5422]

It is Diana's weapon

[@sams_enfp]

@@infestissumam5422 definitely Diana's "moon blade"

[@minarchist1776]

Actually there's really something to the "Archimedes Death Ray". I saw an article a couple of decades or so ago where people had done experiments with a bunch of large polished bronze shields arranged in a parabolic arc. With a wooden target ship placed such that the ship was at the focal point of the parabola with the sun on the far side of the ship they were able to generate temperatures on the ship that would cause it to burn. While this would be large, cumbersome, situational and require somebody who was skilled at surveying to set up it could nevertheless be real bad news for a bunch of ships that were beached or at anchor.

[@comet.x]

i introduce the handheld archimedes death ray: the molotov. there are easier ways to light a boat on fire

[@stonefish1318]

4:43 they could have digged men deep holes into the ground, position themselves into it and use their shield as a "roofcover". When the enemy would walk over them they could suprise them easaly! Basically human mines...

[@maxhensley1685]

As far as testing the urumi goes, I've read that traditionally, one was expected to spend about a decade of training with other weapons before you even *started* trying to learn to use it. Getting it to work right is really, really complicated! It's definitely not a "popular" weapon for anything other than "Hey, look at that!" lists, but if you get your hands on one and test it out, it's probably not going to work very well, even if it can actually be used effectively, because... really hard-to-use weapons will seem pretty ineffective if you try to use them without any practice.

[@Bacteriophagebs]

I had a brief discussion on the urumi with an Indian guy in the comments of a Shadiversity video. He claimed something similar. In reality, the only reason weapon "masters" train with the urumi was because they never actually fight anyone and just want to look cool, like a black belt using dual nunchaku.

[@maxhensley1685]

@@Bacteriophagebs I'm sure nobody actually fights with it today, and it was probably never the most practical weapon out there at any skill level. But they do genuinely go back a long way historically, and people wielded them as weapons long before formal martial arts rankings were a thing. The weapons training landscape was very different 500 years ago, and training just to look cool was a lot less of a thing when other people could get away with making themselves look cooler by challenging you to a fight and killing you.

[@Bacteriophagebs]

@@maxhensley1685 The "people actually used these and therefore they're practical" argument is a fallacy that many modern people fall into. Know what other weapons go back a long way? Dragon fans. That doesn't make them practical. Also: the bagh nakh, the kakute (those spiky rings), shuriken, and the Roman scissor. All very old, all actually used, all terrible weapons. And that's before we get into the bizarre crap thought up by Shaolin monks, mainly because they were (almost) never actually used, though they're also very old. And I suspect the urumi has more in common with the Shaolin flute, for example, or the Talhoffer duelling shield than it does with those other weapons I named.

[@maxhensley1685]

@@Bacteriophagebs There's a difference between a weapon that doesn't necessarily offer a great return on investment for training, and which most people wouldn't consider very practical to learn, and a weapon which only fake practitioners bother with because they can get away with avoiding fighting at all. The urumi is a niche weapon. That "ninja master" who teaches people to fight with logs is using a fake weapon.

[@Bacteriophagebs]

@@maxhensley1685 Your first sentence is correct. But the urumi isn't in the first category, it's in the second. It's not a niche weapon unless that niche is "weapons that look cool but serve no practical purpose." The urumi is useless against armor. It doesn't work like a flail to wrap around an opponent's defenses because the blades only flex sideways. If they can flex, they can't cut, and if they can cut, they can't flex. It can't thrust. It's too light to cut deep, let alone cut bone. It's slow to attack and even slower to recover. It is objectively worse than either a sword or a whip, the two weapons whose mastery is supposedly required to use it. So I guess there is a niche: to give a master fighter a huge handicap against a less-experienced one. Though even there, it's not very good, since you could do the same thing by tying the master's wrists together or something.

[@bobrobinson1576]

Surely the most popular weapon of all time should be the Great Panjandrum of WW2. Great for sneaking up on the enemy and making them laugh themselves to death. Super accurate too.

[@iapetusmccool]

Could only have been better if it had included the glaive. (Not the polearm, the magic spinning thing from Krull).

[@RainMakeR_Workshop]

On the spikey ring being popular with ninja, especially female ninja. According to the Bansenshukai, they were... But as a means of poisoning someone. The tips would have poison applied to them. They weren't intended for combat. Though they'd probably mess your face and throat up.

[@emilymiller7827]

they were also used in Georgia (the country) as a stealth weapon to draw blood in unarmed fights

[@gedmerrilin9010]

The flexible atlatls that work like a spring is actually a fairly common idea in archaeology, and has been for a while. I'm not sure if it is currently in vogue, but it can be found easily in scholarly papers, Atlatl Dynamics by Richard A Baugh, Lithic technology 1998, 23(1):31-41, states that their simulations with a flexible atlatl the stored energy from the atlatl was around 6.9% of the dart's kinetic energy. It results in a more efficient transfer of energy and therefore a greater speed of throw.

[@TheZapan99]

Klingon Khopesh could work, imagine adding spikes on the spine of the blade, to turn it into a melee man-catcher.

[@wardvos7925]

My first thought about that Khopesh was "Klingon", glad I'm not the only one.

[@Seelenschmiede]

My first thought was Dark Elf / Dark Eldar. But Klingon would work too.

[@gungusfuni9303]

“You’re suppose to rake someone face just to be an asshole I guess “ got me good. I’ve been watching you for years now at least since the was a sophomore in high school. I really love your videos. I’ve always loved history and a lot of that love is the weapons too. You’re videos give me the confidence to start learning how to use a swords and other martial weapons. I’m going to buy myself a big ass bastard sword or maybe claymore.

[@Skallagrim]

Glad to know. :)

[@kiltedcripple]

This was a subtle bit of genius, thanks Skal. What an absurd article. The hoplite "sneaking" I believe they're referring to was this Norton I've heard before about Spartans using the shield like a boogey board to scurry over shallow bodies of water... which might be conceivable to someone who has never seen or held a shield of size, made of bronze or ever tried to boogey board on water less surface stable than a swimming pool. I can't even imagine it in armor, or trying to carry armor while doing all this. It feels like an idea born of fan speculation after watching 300.

[@ArkadiBolschek]

I see you guys have been having fun with voice editing sofware too 😄 4:33 This is when I realized that the article had been written by an AI.

[@RaspK]

4:30 ... did they get Tenser's Floating Disk mixed in somehow!?

[@patron8597]

2:13 I'd say they could be a very affective suprise tool. As in, you look unarmed and then you rake someone across the face with it, or even just the sword arm, before actual weapons get drawn. Even if they can keep fighting, they'd be at a severe disadvantage.

[@vincencures]

Please do more covers of similar articles. I had such a good, honest, rejuvenating laugh I had to watch it again. Thank You.

[@rainmaker9300]

Fly in riding your floating shield like a surf board. Spank the enemy from behind with the whip sword, then poke them in their chakra points with a spiky ring. After that smack them with a hoplite. Proceed to fly away on your shield. The ultimate warrior is born.

[@christopherreed4723]

Don't forget shooting them with your pocket gastrophetes, or roasting them to a crisp instantly with your handy-dandy collapsible Archimedes' Death Ray (definitely not made by ACME Corp).

[@JelqSmith]

Deep and dark corners of the internet when investigating particularities about armor are fun though. Some of my deep dives have been: the prevalence of armor among Germanics and Celts, did the classical Greeks sometimes wear a scale layer under the linothorax, could longbows pierce plate armor, max effective longbow range for mail and gambeson, what did the Punic War Carthaginians look like, what did Indo Europeans wear for protection at various stages of their migrations, did Stone Age warriors sometimes wear bone armor, and lastly what did the Ukrainian Scythians or Sarmatians wear for armor and how much did Greece influence their armor.

[@knightmareza9478]

These all sound really interesting. What did you find?

[@Vlad_Tepes_III]

Tell us what you've learnt, Master JelqSmith. Stuff us with your knowledge, so we may be more marketable.

[@peterphilipson2589]

The best part is that khopesh at 2:58 is from a fantasy video game, truly a genious whoever responsible for this article. It's Diana's sword from League of Legends if anybody is corius :D

[@OmegaWoodworm]

Shame the video was so short, would have loved to see the other articles you intended to cover as well.

[@pmester228]

I half-wonder if these are written by AI

[@kaboomluong9373]

You're probably not off

[@edgarburlyman738]

I don't because they are

[@pmester228]

@@edgarburlyman738 I had my run-in with AI misinformation, but it usually takes form as something plausible-sounding but completely off. Like, you want to install a software addon and it tells you to go to the addons tab and install from there, whereas in reality, you need to drop it into one of the program folders. So, that makes me wonder, what the fuck would an AI have to read to connect big shields to floatation devices?

[@holdingpattern245]

when you see enough AI writing, it becomes easy to recognize, and this is definitely AI

[@edgarburlyman738]

@@pmester228 Not all the AI is the most advanced AI

[@sebcw1204]

i like how you just skipped right past fire arrows, because they don't even deserve a mention. nothing more helpful for aiming a bow than to put a heavy flaming ball of rags on the end of it.

[@blueveil3277]

Nah you forgot to read the in-game description from the spike rings. They cause a 3s stun effect with a 10 seconds cooldown on each enemy, which makes them quite effective for support build with AoE attacks. Same goes for the Kopesh, that one is a legendary Kopesh that drops from the Raid, but can't be used, can only be used as a decoration on your home.

[@ryokkeno]

Ive always found a good hooded robe to be very cozy... especially in the winter when you live more north of Nebraska.

[@ESPmrBrough]

you opened this video really strongly dude. if you keep getting better as an entertainer; not just an info source, like you've demonstrated here, i think you'll see great success.

[@thejohnhopkinscompany9599]

Skall, didn't you know? Hypaspists were strictly selected from the ranks of short-kings.

[@bavettesAstartes]

Shortest of short kings. Made of the highest grade steel.

[@dylanboczar999]

I love the videos like this! Even crank articles can lead to actual edutainment through the lens of [someone who actually knows what they're talking about]

[@aurochtamer]

"We went from weapons to... the entire... dude?" Best line of the video right there

[@sams_enfp]

You're supposed to summon him like a JoJo stand

[@darklyo3784]

I thought the two ring tiger claw thing was basically supposed to make it easier to grab onto things for climbing

[@WolfA4]

That's definitely an AI generated article, and it worked because they got you to click on it.

[@mrbl1619]

Love you stuff thank you for your hard work

[@varundattoo9512]

Outrageous! Keep up the outrageously outrageous content.

[@caret_shell]

Seems like really really early ChatGPT output. I imagine ChatGPT today could write a much more accurate article...

[@DwarfInBlues]

Was this article written by early iteration AI? The claims are bizarre enough to fit.

[@VicoLePirate]

Thanks to you and your videos over years, I finally started HEMA this year, that's amazing and fun. Thanks !

[@jazzyprince3335]

I’d love for you to make another one of these videos, this is was hilarious.

[@bubbasbigblast8563]

The heaviest Scutum found is 10 kg. Ballistic shields of the early 20th century, used to protect sappers from small arms fire, weighed about 11.3 kg. A 14 kg shield being used in any kind of mobile warfare is pretty much absurd on the face of it: we're talking almost the same amount of weight as a full suit of plate armor, on one arm. Any kind of sudden attack would be almost impossible to react to.

[@baraka629]

a 14kg pavise would be reasonable though.

[@qwormuli77]

I could _maybe_ buy that weight for a pavis -styled mobile protection for ranged soldiers against other ranged soldiers. But as a flotation device used to gain the element of surprise?

[@baraka629]

​@@qwormuli77there is a historic pavese from around 1480 that is ~14.2 Kg. Displayed in the Deutsches Historisches Museum in Berlin, inventory number W 5462. Interesting,huh

[@Sableagle]

@@qwormuli77 The Type VIIc U-Boot was 871 tonnes, and one of those suddenly floating to the surface and releasing Spartans all over their supply lines would have surprised the heck out of the Persian army.

[@Skallagrim]

Yeah, I overlooked the weight on that... yet another ludicrous claim without sources, what a shocker. :)

[@Galvantez]

It's gotta be that this was a list of the most interesting/unique weapons, but they changed the title to get more engagement or something. Citations still very much needed though.

[@Nogarem]

extremly entertaining, I love it ♥

[@DanteOceanstorm]

To be fair, the show Ancient Impossible did explain how Archimedes's death ray would work. Sunlight was reflected and focused into a tight beam that set ships on fire. Archimedes also invented steam cannons.

[@m1santhropist410]

Yeah that's been widely debunked over time. Let alone the mythbusters episode dedicated specifically on that, it would only make sense that had the "death ray" actually worked you would have seen other examples of it at least in the roman era. The whole thing smells of modern era-theoretical engineering to me. One could also say that Leonardo da Vinci "invented" helicopters, planes and submarines, that doesn't mean they actually had them.

[@DanteOceanstorm]

@@m1santhropist410 The only reason it was never seen again was because Archimedes was murdered by a Roman soldier because he refused to stop working.

[@dracocrusher]

The problem is that it's harder to burn a ship than it is to toast ants with a magnifying glass. Wood doesn't catch fire until you hit 570 degrees. So take a magnifying glass beam of light, disperse it through the air, and then try to desperately focus that on a single point on a single ship. Even if it stands still it'll take hours for anything to happen, if it happens at all. That's in ideal conditions, too. Normally, you won't be able to predict the weather, there could be clouds overcasting things, maybe a fire starts and the other side puts it out quickly, or you could take too long and the other side could reach your setup and ruin it.... Actually, that's another thing. Ideally you'd use concave glass for this, but Archimedes told troops to use their bronze shields. So it's not even a perfect reflection, meaning the energy would get dispersed even more. It's like......... If you really want to burn something with light there are really complex ways you could do it. But none of them are combat-viable or would be available to the Romans, and you'd need to account for a billion different weird other factors that can throw things off. At the end of the day, it really is more of a thought experiment than anything else. "Light heats things up so Archimedes was so smart he used the sun, itself, to burn a ship down!" is way more interesting than "We think this might work but nobody's actually tried it yet and we just made up a story about it."

[@benjaminthibieroz4155]

@@dracocrusher I recall some guys tested it and tried to set a sail aflame by using a massive bronze mirror... it took them half an hour on sail standing still on a perfect sunny day. At close range. Quite terrible for military applications.

[@Blargedy]

This article has to be a troll or written by a bad AI. There is no way anyone would type so much BS.

[@christopherreed4723]

Never underestimate the amount of BS a person can spout. Or puke onto a web page.

[@sebastianlaubinger5820]

I am sitting here, tears of laughter streaming down my face, with my dear wife looking at me strangely... "Citation needed!" Extremely well done, extremely entertaining! Thank you!

[@caesertullo1824]

2:29 Yes, it's a powerful offensive and defensive technique called: Dress. A favorite of the infamous warrior from Japan named Yuichiro Hanma durring World War 2.

[@kaimagnus5760]

AI Article Writing at its finest lol

[@SanityVideo]

This has to be an AI generated article

[@yavorvlaskov5404]

This was entertaining, I'd watch another one of those when you get around to making one.

[@dualistic6916]

In case you didnt notice, the shield description also says it is SEVEN TO NINE FEET TALL (213 - 274 cm) and weighed a whopping 30 lbs/13.6 kg. Two things: JUST HOW TALL IS THAT GUY?? Lets assume he has the smallest of all those shields. By my estimation the guy looks to be roughly two and a half shields tall give or take. That would make him 17.5 ft or 532.5 cm tall. And that's the lowest end estimate. My god, no wonder the Spartans won so much with giants like this. The other thing is that 30 lbs/13.6 kg of "bronze and steel" isnt exactly gonna float very well, even on its own that thing is gonna sink like an anchor as soon as the smallest amount of water starts to get in it or it tips even a little. And we're supposed to believe these (apparently) absolutely behemoth sized people were sailing on them?? Bruh.

[@JohnNathanShopper]

I’m a weeeeeeeeb

[@dimitrilium3912]

I asked Chat GPT to write this kind of article and he did very well. Clearly, only a human writer who watch too much movies could come up with this list. Our AI Overlord cannot come soon enough.

[@aaronsmith4940]

Loving your revitalised attitude, even if you feel like crap it's not showing, keep up the grind dude.

[@karenburrows9184]

Loved this one, Skall. Great hood, by the way....

[@reshpeck]

Reason number one: I'm an adult and can wear whatever the hell I want. Reason numb - YOU DON'T NEED ANOTHER REASON!!

[@martron77]

Brilliant! Popular weapons that no-one has heard of!! Love the coat by the way.

[@NocnaGlizda]

I remember a Japanese journalist talking to the last ninja school teacher. He had no students so after his death this art will disappear. When she asked him about shurikens he had no idea what it was about. It's not a weapon. It's a movie prop or something from an animated series.

[@NDOhioan]

Honestly, there's several "last ninja" claimants, and the evidence for them is dubious at best. Most historians, to my understanding, think that ninja were essentially folk legends. There were certainly parts of Japan that were particularly known for their use of spies and assassins, but the closest thing to the archetypal "ninja assassin" would probably just be a samurai who was particularly trusted by their daimyo for those sorts of tasks.

[@dragon12234]

@@NDOhioan A good summation I've heard was that the term Ninja/Shinobi is actually really broad, and covered everything from spies, to military scouts, to guerilla fighters (this is what the famous Iga and Koga "ninja" were), and assassins (like the guy who tried to snipe Oda Nobunaga, hiding up in a tree with a bunch of arqubuses. Luckily Nobunagas cuirass was strong enough to deflect the bullets), in addition to thieves. Basically anyone that did something stealthily

[@jm8361]

So for the atlatl, back when i bought one there were reputable sources on the item that mentioned the atlatl bending on launch and springing forward to release energy in a similiar manner to a bow. That was why some atlatl models had a stone attached to help with that. But i believe that has mostly been disproven and the orginal stones had no relation to the atlatl.

[@Alexander_Haplington]

You had me laughing the whole time! Great job on finding this treasure trove of information!

[@steffent.6477]

That just hurts. Well explained.

[@tomwalker8944]

Prompted by this video I went back to watch your video titled "An Unnecessarily In-Depth Discussion of Whip Swords" and something that kind of threw me was the difference in your manner of speaking between then and now. It's weird but I felt a bit more engaged by the more casual tone of the older video.

[@CoolClearWaterNM]

I usually do not comment twice, but the funniest bit came up after the video ended: 'Most Incredible Ancient Weapons' from Be Amazed was in the suggestions listed.

[@nephicus339]

I haven't even watched this video yet, and I wish I had popcorn for how great this is gonna be! ah, when Skallagrim brings up the 'questions' bit at the beginning, my question was, "Were these articles written by ChatGPT or another AI?" Hooded coat felt on brand for him so I wasn't even questioning it. :P Edit: finished the video, and... chef's kiss to Skallagrim. Also, I love that the Spartan shield was "also used as a flotation device" but also weighed 30 pounds. When was the last time you tried to swim with a 30 pound shallow bowl? And did you manage to keep it afloat, let alone float around on it?

[@thedrunkspacepilot4992]

4:50 As a Greek, we're pretty good at jumping out of the bushes and going boogity boogity, you might be on to something. Also, I believe they are referencing the historical documentary 300, when they said the Spartans used their shields for surprise attacks

[@sevenproxies4255]

Half expected the article would claim that Spartans threw their shields like frisbees and decapitated foes with them.

[@primitivescott6712]

Hey Skallagrim I’ve been a long time enjoyer of you and your channel and I recently started rewatching a show on Apple TV called See, it’s about an post apocalyptic world where most of of humanity has gone blind and over the last few centuries we’ve gone back to a early Iron Age state of existence. It’s a really good and unrated show and if you already have Apple TV or if you don’t I’d seriously recommend watching it and I think it’d make a really interesting video to review the fight scenes from the show and to see pun not intended, to see how realistic the combat is between multiple or two combatants that have been blind their entire lives.

[@georgegeorge1368]

Love the hooded , very nice