Interview with Senior PHP Developer

PHP programming language
Interview with a PHP developer with Paul Ron - aired on © The PHP.
No Music
Programmer humor
PHP humor
Programming jokes
Programming memes
PHP
PHP memes
php jokes
laravel
composer
xampp
mysql
apache
php 7
_NAMESPACE_
#programming
#jokes
#php

[@jacquesmarais8498]

"PHP devs are not paid badly, we see dollar signs all the time." - a PHP dev

[@iconsworld9]

Bruh, the freaking variables.

[@calcaware]

That's a good one.

[@kieran1990able]

😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆

[@cubeson4168]

someone clip that please

[@gregormonkey]

@@internet4543 NODEoubt about it

[@Tobbzn]

PHP is the only place I've seen "function is no longer deprecated" in an update.

[@davidgustavsson4000]

Oof

[@gg-gn3re]

Java

[@EscapeePrisoner]

0-0

[@JanNeumann]

LMAO

[@PorthorianTv]

Example? Php has the most robust RFC than any other language out there.

[@dreamsComeTruePL]

When will we see an old COBOL joke? "-There is a new offer for a COBOL dev" "-Who died?"

[@cariyaputta]

Nice one 💀

[@sylver9547]

😂😂😂

[@ryancoote4223]

As a 29 year old whose first job was having my brain rewritten to support the COBOL backend of one of the largest 401k companies in America here is my COBOL joke: "The language is so old that it has kids who can vote now".

[@umaroladipo2811]

😂😂😂😂

[@lawrencemanning]

@@ryancoote4223 since it’s 63 years old, make that grandkids.

[@AJD...]

That change to fancy clothes at 4:02 when he started talking about laravel LMAO!

[@rexodexo56]

Thanks, these videos are a lot better without background music

[@ScriptRaccoon]

Agreed, I am glad that he made this version as well.

[@mariosabastian8847]

Thanks a lot for this version!

[@redred582]

this one is not deprecated😂 video as software

[@haiguyzimnew]

I can't believe I understand every one of these jokes. My life is only pain.

[@DAE51D]

"There is PHP 5.6 and there is PHP 7. We don't really talk about what happened in between" :dead:

[@azlanadil3646]

… what… what happened…

[@cauchyschwarz3295]

This split second cut to pure desperation after the "php isn't dead" line is gold 😂

[@dynpallomah5918]

This vid is my fav. It somehow gets the least views but this is the best in the comedic sense imo. Note how he wear so seriously when he's talking about Laravel, that always gets me 😂

[@dipanjanghosal1662]

Timestamp?

[@starkxz]

AWESOME you listened to our request and made the video without music. KEEP the backward compatibility.

[@colinodell]

As a PHP developer, I can confirm this is 100% accurate

[@dunste123]

I would love to argue against it, but I hate how true this is. Shame they didn't mention PHP 8 :P

[@BussyEnthusiast]

My condolences

[@SomeUserNameBlahBlah]

In 2022 what's the preferred backend development language? Serious question.

[@colinodell]

@@SomeUserNameBlahBlah Whatever gets the job done and can be easily maintained by others.

[@danfu6280]

Which means PHP

[@transatlant1c]

the face at 'lets talk about SQL injection' got me 😂

[@shimadabr]

It's sad to see codebases to this day that doesn't use pdo->prepare(). A real problem for sure hahaha

[@indiegrab360]

PDO

[@RamanSharma-zk1bj]

I love how he puts on the blazer when talking about Laravel 😂

[@Electricz0]

I feel like every new PHP dev goes through the experience of reading the documentation and desperately looking for a non-deprecated feature.

[@outofboundsbro]

That's my experience developing native android apps in Java.

[@dissident1337]

I read the RFCs to keep up with the new features and check the changelogs with new releases to see which things are deprecated. :v

[@martinn.6082]

@@outofboundsbro that's kind of your fault though

[@outofboundsbro]

@@martinn.6082 Damn... Based tho.

[@gg-gn3re]

Java

[@buflen]

I remember that time when I asked for a salary over 60k in an interview for a PHP job and they said: well you're just a PHP developer.

[@musashi542]

Ayo

[@oumardicko5593]

Lmao 🤣

[@federico.r.figueredo]

haha

[@levieraf]

daamn!

[@ImranSheikh-kg4qd]

🤣🤣

[@mauricio-poppe]

The video with music was deprecated

[@tommeir]

60% of the time, it works every time.

[@thelonearchitect]

"Let's talk about SQL Injections" "Wow, let's not get off-topic here. There's enough wrong with PHP itself" Im dead.

[@sle6423]

This is next-level comedy full stop. Would love to know how you do your research for these too!

[@sbypasser819]

He has 10 years experience in every language.

[@keithwilliams2353]

@@sbypasser819 "Even the ones that have been around for 5 years?" Especially those.

[@JoshuaHeagleDev]

When you said "full stop" is that just a semicolon or die();?

[@jeromeglick]

Research? It's called experience. He's lived so many lives it's not even funny.

[@MattSeremet]

"Pearl? I feel bad for that dead language and its devs" "Node? Whoever thought running javascript on the sever was a good idea... Yeah I use node to run my php scripts in parallel" "Security is easy with proper mitigations. ... html entities ... html entities ... preg match ... preg replace ... preg nant" "We do OOP the right way: [zooms on monitor with code] this one's a singleton... singleton ... singleton... "

[@WholesaleSubstance]

*Perl

[@JC-hp7pc]

As a PHP Dev the most embarrassing thing is that people instantly think you are some WordPress clown with 5 years clicking websites together with plugins.

[@TheUnkow]

When in reality we are a wordpress clown with a blazer on. What php dev doesn't know how to mess with wordpress? :D Ok some of us are a bit more complicated clowns than that, but the jokes are gold.

[@codecaine]

[@Soitisisit]

Why would you code in PHP if you're not making WordPress and MediaWiki plugins?

[@JC-hp7pc]

@@Soitisisit Because we have superior frameworks like Laravel and to a lesser degree symfony that allow us to build custom web applications. Laravel makes an excellent web API for react as well. You can do big boy things with PHP. Doesn't have to be shady agency work.

[@sin5946]

@@Soitisisit I'm actually working with Yii2 on a webservice project in the last 6 years, that generates quite a good money for both me and the company. For me it's $160k annually and since its full remote I moved out to a cheap country, so it makes 20 times the average salary here. Personally I don't consider WordPress developers actual developers. I've seen 1 WP project in my life - mb around 7-8 years ago -, I developed 1 custom plugin for it and I'll never do it again. From PHP7 and up the performance isn't bad at all - comparing to other languages - and it can be a good choice for many API projects. I think the common view about PHP is negative for two reasons; 1. too many very bad programmers work with it and 2. early versions - PHP4 and below - was indeed laughable. Examples I encountered for the 1st point: - devs claiming to be senior based on having 15 y o EXP don't know how to write tests, doesn't know what's the debugger - from the many possible solutions, the dev chooses the first he can think of and implements it instead of actually going through the possibilities, analyzing the problem and then based on the benefits and disadvantages choosing a solution - doesn't know how to optimize the code, doesn't do optimization, doesn't know how to do profiling to find out what parts of the APP might be slow - ignores thoughts about possible cyber security issues, doesn't think about the vulnerability of the code he writes - doesn't have best practices, doesn't have principles, doesn't have any ruleset, never heard of coding standards - can't write custom packages - never heard of CI/CD ect. ect - I could list it for an hour. Fun fact: CornHub also has PHP back-end

[@yttos7358]

"We see dollar signs all the time ---- $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$" 😂😂😂😂😂😂 I'm Dead 💀

[@Software.Engineer]

You should put "Deprecated" on the other version of this video

[@TheBossStudioZ]

LMAO

[@ildisiri]

EPIC comment 😂😂😂

[@pl0xy]

@@ildisiri he did it

[@ildisiri]

@@pl0xy did what fam? Some epic epicness?

[@pl0xy]

@@ildisiri he put (Deprecated) in the title of the PHP interview that had music 🤣

[@Soleryth]

Man it's so good and so accurate Your videos make me laugh a lot, this is probably your best one with JavaScript

[@RegularCupOfJoe]

I was a PHP 4, 5, and 6 dev back in the day. There is no "mastering" the language. Only trying. And reading the documentation for hours.

[@sin5946]

That's a lie. PHP 6 was never released.

[@games4us132]

There is no mastering, only crying 😭 😂

[@creo_one]

For me the best thing in PHP was documentation

[@pallandoromestamo8861]

Ugh this is so accurate, I'm literally crying right now 😭 (no, I'm not a PHP dev, why, I just cut onions, I swear)

[@amanbasanti866]

Haha I love watching you rip into all the languages. Another great video

[@boltyk1]

can't wait for assembly, fortran and cobol dev interviews :)

[@webdev2670]

"split, split, split.....exploode" Hahaha best one

[@connerwulf5361]

Keep it up man, you have some funny ass one liners. Always love your videos

[@thnxm8]

Top level editing and jokes

[@luisendymion9080]

I'm a senior PHP dev and I haven't laugh so hard in a long time LMAO

[@LettersAndNumbers300]

No such thing

[@laketuna]

Best comedy on KZbin right now.

[@mesmertech]

Saaaaaaved! Thanks for this man

[@akramex8786]

Something I enjoyed was telling my IT friends that I got a position as a PHP developer. The mix of horror, confusion, and curiosity on their faces was priceless - it was like I’d said I was moving to a remote island to become a hermit… but with better Wi-Fi

[@mrk131324]

Truth be told, with PHP 8.x it is back on and the best scripting language out there.

[@Aestareth_]

have you tried literally anything else

[@mrk131324]

Sure, plenty. Senior dev for 15 years. The languages does not matter, the infrastructure around it does. I have no issue with a new project using a PHP framework. I‘ve read AWS will add a PHP runtime to its lambdas, because of the performance.

[@Nocare89]

@@mrk131324 It's far above the python nonsense that's been going on the last few years. I just can't take it serious as being serious. Every single project I install needs a whole tailored environment and then it still has a bunch of failures to navigate. I got good at Java, then PHP & JS. Love them both. I do prefer JS but PHP incorporated some of what makes it enjoyable.

[@user-rk1ic9pq7r]

@@mrk131324 You are senior in years not knowledge, PHP is dogshit still. I work in it every day and would like to be in almost any other server side language.

[@jaimelannister141]

@@Aestareth_ Honestly, as a .NET developer that has years of experience with other languages and frameworks such as NestJS, Fastify and Django, I still think (at least as far as scripting languages are concerned) Laravel is clearly one of the best frameworks out there and PHP has had major improvements including performance improvements that make it a viable option for even large-scale, highly performant web applications; specially if you use PHP Swoole.

[@BlunderMunchkin]

Back around 1998-2000, somewhere in there, I was working with PHP on Apache and had to dig through the source code for the PHP engine for some reason. It was appallingly bad. They had entire 30+ line functions written using #define. I did my best to steer clear of it after that.

[@makkapoya]

i got much more knowledge and brain refresh from this video that dozens of tutorials

[@jacquesdube6294]

The session? A soup of globals with no controls around it. The cookie? // scene cut This is 🥇

[@TheUnkow]

Sometimes a comedic take is a lot more sober view on the real issues. Amazing humor we have here.

[@shamseerk6409]

Simple and powerful explanation.

[@GoodwinOgbuehi]

I'll say this works much better without the music. The content, performance, and editing do the trick.

[@shopnhome2]

I am watching you to practice my technical english. You are very funny LoL 😁

[@kevinflorenzdaus]

"PHP used to be a good language" 😂😂😂😂😂 gold

[@lotli4453]

for me it got strong the office vibes :D you are hilarious sir :) Thank you for your work! (I'm such a Jerry)

[@gh0stcloud499]

Haha nice, do Go/Rust/Elixir or one of the other trendy ones next!

[@SoulDragonXI]

Honestly you missed the greatest part of PHP's native linter. You missed the syntax error on line 127, but it's actually on line 34. "string to array conversion" no more details needed, you should totally know the key. Oh my json decode failed, better use json_last_error function to read it from the global state, oh it's an enum. Oh now json_decode that returns stdclass, is that useful? No. Guess every json_decode will need a true in it. Oh what is the way to make http requests without any supporting libraries? Oh it's file_get_comtents, that doesn't sound dangerous. Job security is great everytime we get out of LTS, we get a free week to slowly replace all the depreciation

[@HarshRajAlwaysfree]

Php only knows to give All my friends hate me for using php They are just jealous

[@rykehuss3435]

"You missed the syntax error on line 127, but it's actually on line 34." My favorite feature of PHP

[@creamyhorror]

"json_decode that returns stdclass" - ugh lol

[@Vitorruy1]

There's no simple way to reference the last item of an array, have fun with count($array)-1, oh I mean the "modern" [array_last_key($array)] which is totally not as verbose as the old option.

[@programateiro9507]

The fact he speaks slowly was totally purposeful

[@babykosh5415]

I should have thought of this.....this is perfect!!!

[@DarylLegion]

here in the Philippines PHP is a currency. PHP is everywhere.

[@SimGunther]

PHP = Pretty Hacky Programming

[@tzauron]

These videos are freaking amazing

[@brianpalmer967]

The acting in these is surprisingly good. Or maybe it's the quick cuts that make it seem that way.

[@hansherrera5321]

"We still use WAMP...and we on mac" hahaha

[@BryceCorbitt]

For bettor or for worse PHP is far from dead.

[@faridguzman91]

which is a damn shame

[@brentsteyn6671]

@@faridguzman91 I agree

[@tensor5113]

necromancy

[@arjix8738]

@Jonas Jonaitis php is interpreted, what do you mean?

[@mortenbrodersen8664]

Genius! PLEASE do one for Haskell!

[@samuelmathes8151]

Great, also as the other videos.

[@ristopaasivirta9770]

These videos are the best. Cut down a bit on the zoom in/out effect and it's golden.

[@dq303]

I like the high numbers of Zoom in effects

[@guillemgarcia3630]

I can't wait for the golang one and saying "simplicity" 1000 times

[@GunZFoX]

"Concurrency, babe... Oh wait, why does my program instantly ends?"

[@garrettgreen242]

Thx for the re-upload sans music!

[@nexotaku3199]

Awesome) Great work!

[@77thTrombone]

"Personal Home Page" - that's all you need to know. That was the fastest 6-minute video I've ever seen.

[@D4rkS7der]

Yeah this is accurate, but we should not forget about PHP 8 :-)

[@TheBabababa]

ENUMS! Maybe there is still hope for get/set properties.

[@peterSobieraj]

Say what you want, but PHP have best documentation I have ever seen. And attitude to backward compatibility is recently becoming problem everywhere.

[@BezanDarro]

Every time he talks about Laravel his coat in on! 😄

[@jppalmis2493]

"It's 2022 javascript I mean php" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@hirogarabedian98]

This guy is cool .. cheers mate!

[@ivan8or]

i'd love to see one of these about Haskell and/or other FP languages 🥵

[@SF-eg3fq]

can't wait for the python version

[@theGabe87]

omg good old times... and its still relevant xD

[@algonix11]

the php programmer is the only one not trying to demolish his own profession.

[@GameChuckk]

I felt sad when i saw no music in the title> i liked the music one. thanks for keeping it you are awesome.

[@enzy6434]

I remember using PHP Nuke back in the day for my website, big nostalgia.

[@leventaksakal5]

Even though I don't get half of the jokes it is still funny as it can be

[@vyzia]

i love these videos 😭

[@benb.525]

Yeah, keep going please!

[@popcorn245]

Omfg the Laravel PHP version jokes hurt sooooo good!! 🍿😗

[@junpan2463]

"PHP is the best programming language all around the world!"

[@manny27392]

PHP is now at version 8.3. Mark my words, PHP will now become the most widely used language in the world.

[@DevlogBill]

OMG! This is the funniest video out of all the rest. "PHP Developers aren't paid too badly, they see dollar signs all the sign"! Now that was a clever joke!

[@owenwexler7214]

The good news for him is that PHP-like paradigms are starting to come back into style.

[@92stathis]

🤣🤣 that was amazingly accurate !

[@bappi5702]

PHP is a emotion❤️

[@kieran1990able]

Web developent is all about php. It will never be dead.

[@tanveerhasan2382]

Sad

[@kieran1990able]

@@tanveerhasan2382 Sad that you, we all will be dead but php won't 😅

[@kneza96BG]

*Laughs in Django*

[@kieran1990able]

@@kneza96BG django is not for Web 😆😆😆, mainly for data science. Its like saying java is used for Web. Yes they are alternatives but php is the god of Web development. Majority of websites in the world use php. It will never die.

[@user-rt6fq8wk1d]

Laughs in React or NextJS + Firebase

[@ToeShimmel]

Please do C# / .NET next!

[@incremental_failure]

This is so good. Comedy gold. I always considered PHP coders to be script kiddies who play Counter-strike, drink Red Bull and drive an old BMW.

[@Vitorruy1]

sorry to dissapoint but we are not that cool

[@Dyerrrrrrr]

Please do Rust or Lisp next 😁

[@Derekwwest]

Please, for all that is good and Holy, do Salesforce!!!

[@bertt1055]

He has helped me decide to go with... Ruby!

[@dschledermann]

I've recently more or less dropped PHP. I work in a small telco and PHP is extensively used for a lot of not just our administration tool and self-service sites, but also background jobs, batch processing etc.. Upgrading old stuff have really been painful. A certain job to reconfigure the SIP database has been failing for certain cases since the 7.3 - 8.1 upgrade. The non-strictness and lack of type safety is likely to blame, but no one is able to discern the impenetrable mess of dynamic created properties, implicit string to int casts and general lack of structure. I've given up, and rewritten the damn thing in Rust. The new code is literally 100 times quicker and people can actually read and understand what is going on.

[@TheVertical92]

5:53 Yo this cracked me up. Its feels like its kinda true. We use Laravel for our WebApps and we get paid very poorly. I never learned PHP before i got my job. But in Laravel, its kinda like its own language.

[@grimonce]

Dunder fire down under, applies to python as well

[@zenobikraweznick]

This is brilliant :)

[@elduderino7456]

I'm a laravel developer and I can confirm the blazer is 100% true.

First time I laugh about PHP. Congrats

[@moroliu2845]

But where did you buy that shirt, I love it!

[@Alan.livingston]

As a snr php dev can confirm Laravel is the everything.

[@chrisc2503]

Especially that new cool static method TaylorOtwell::fart() which is just a nice syntax sugar to loop over n number of farts without calling foreach like the boomers do!

[@ezwanshahrin9123]

Im also senior php dev. imo php framework really bad in performance, too many unnecessary lib/file included just to make coding simple. I prefer pure php basically im creating my own framework so i can control everything

[@tanzimibthesam5861]

@@ezwanshahrin9123 Its a bad idea you can obviously optimizw.performance and better use some lightweight franework like Slim or framework X.

[@ezwanshahrin9123]

@@tanzimibthesam5861 I know bro I have tried myself but still no framework beats pure php in performance

[@tanzimibthesam5861]

@@ezwanshahrin9123 Well performance is not dependant on only a langauge it depends on optimization use of proper tools in 90% of the cases when your project neededs complex functionalities it will take days to write it with core php untimately using so many packages it might hamper performance too. Anyways for a simple app core phpmight be very handy

[@codym3415]

Awesome

[@AJD...]

You've done it again.

[@luzten]

You are a genius

[@rammrras9683]

What does PHP stand for? - Power! 😂

[@kicknotes]

"all sane services on the Internet" - Gold!