Intimate Partner Violence: Pregnancy and Postpartum Depression

Living in an abusive relationship can affect all aspects of a woman's health. Pregnancy and having young children can make it more difficult to escape an abusive relationship. This video, featuring Lynda Dechief, explains what can happen in this situation and how friends and family can help through non-judgemental support. She describes the three stages of abuse, the impact of abuse on a woman’s health and provides guidance for women experiencing abuse and friends and family who want to support someone they care about who is in an abusive relationship.
Please note that if you are in BC or the Yukon, you can access toll-free, confidential, multilingual telephone service (Crisis Support) 24 hours per day, 1-800-563-0808 or email [e-mail].

[@nataliasolakian7928]

We need to speak out on this more and stop it once and for all! Women and babies deserve better!

[@cheezitsarethebest]

I have left but he is still trying to hoover. I moved back home after my finances were drained and he started to hit me every day. My toddler is almost two and I feel like I should have left earlier. When I realized he wouldn't be a normal loving caring partner, Ill never forget crying in the shower 5 months pregnant. Realizing he would never be there is be alone and required to do everything. His mom told me I deserved it and that it's my fault too.

[@shivanimalik6739]

Please leave him It is still not too late Try to learn new skills and just leave that monster. It will be good for you and your baby

[@fppiroozian6372]

I felt your pain in my heart! Sorry to hear that & thanks for sharing. I am 3 months pregnant & have similar thoughts! Can a man who doesn’t love me, love my baby? Can he not be a good husband but a good father? I don’t know. I wish the best for you & your child! Power to you for moving on.

[@_wolfPaws]

I am 26 weeks pregnant. My partner is abusive. Mentally, emotionally, and physically. A week and a half ago, he beat on me for a couple of hours. Throwing and draggjng me around by my hair that he had wrapped a couple of times around his fist. He was punching me all over my head, and my chest, as I clinched my fists and held my forearms over my face to protect myself as best I could. I never fight back, because it always makes it worse. I usually just go with it. Begging him to stop for every reason that he should. He pulled my out the door, and threw me down onto the hard dirt. Im crying and begging him to just stop hurting me. To please just think about the baby. Hes hurling insults at me. Saying that I dont care about the baby anyway so it doesnt matter. All I could do was curl up into a fetal position so I could make myself as small as possible. That was I could protect most of my stomach, and my face. He kicked me in my back and my legs a few times. I took my things, and I left the next day. He didn't want me to go, and, honestly, I really didn't want to go either. Somehow I did, though. I left him. Now, I'm struggling in every way. Financially, mentally, and emotionally, just to list a few. I want to go back to him so badly, but I know that I shouldn't. I don't know why it is so hard for me to just leave, and stay away. I need to be (and will stay) strong. I can (and I will) be independent. I know I deserve (and I will attain) better. I need to (and do) love me. I AM WORTH IT! It has been 10 days since I left him. *Not only does he abuse me, but he also cheats on me all the time. He knows that I know, and acts like I don't. He swears he will never step out on me again. He swears that he will never hurt me again. I know that he will continue to do both. He has for nearly 4 years now, so why would I believe that it will stop now? Because we are having a baby together? I [should] know better! To be continued...

[@fateha2536]

R u ok dear ?

[@gabihagelstein515]

Stay strong 💪you're better than him and any hardships you face after him are only small speed bumps in your life. You can move on to the life you and your child want and deserve without him. With him will only be pain and trauma for both you and your sweet child. You're stronger than him. It is only the weakest person who beats the most defenseless. You have the strength and capability to make an AMAZING life for you and your baby. It may not seem that way at first and it'll be difficult, but you'll reach a point of absolute pride and triumph and you'll think of this decision you made to leave him forever as a no-brainer. You've got this. I believe in you, Sammy.

[@charlotteferdinand1246]

Leave him, otherwise your baby can be taken from you. Grow a spine. I dumped an abusive prick I had a five-month-old baby with at the moment, that girl is now six years old and I collect child support from the abuser.

[@_wolfPaws]

Update: I left him! He tried to worm his way back in, but I wasn't having it 🙂 My daughter and I haven't seen or talked to him in about 4 months now, and couldn't be happier ♡

[@sarahwong7633]

@@_wolfPawsgood for you! I think there is a reason I came across your story. Please remember- he will never change. I know it is really hard but you do have options. Leaving him is a great start. May God give you the strength to get through this period and help you to find the life purpose that he has for you.❤

[@fppiroozian6372]

I truly don’t have anyone to talk to or share my feelings with! Someone who doesn’t judge me to be weak & someone who I can fully fully share with. I think I will never find that person. & I might die without telling anyone what I experienced in my 20s & 30s in a relationship which looked normal from outside.

[@doraymeandyou]

Why is this such an overlooked topic? I can barely find any info on it. And I can’t believe this video hasn’t had more attention. I’m struggling to find material on abortions in abusive relationships either. Are there any support groups for these things? I know there are people out there. Some of my friends have opened up and have turned out to have been through similar things.

[@alyssamcallister1814]

Am I wrong for wanting to put my baby up for adoption to escape the abuse? She’s 1 now, I left the relationship but it seems like it got worse & uses her, but I just mentally CAN NOT handle this anymore.

[@yol4678]

Try getting full custody

[@basedsavage1713]

There isn’t much here on abusive pregnant women. Id appreciate a full update on the topic in the future.

[@gabihagelstein515]

Do you mind if I ask what your experience is?

[@basedsavage1713]

@@gabihagelstein515 Avoidance with disrespect and making claims that are either so vague they cant be fixed or completely false all together. The woman claiming she cant get pregnant then getting pregnant after a short few years. Threatening VPOs for control not because of danger or threats. Using the unborn child as a bargaining chip. Ising terms like “I just wont involve you.” Being blamed for needing to go to other people for sex. Those partners gave her an STD while still preg and she wanted to blame that on me as well. I’m clean with regular check ups and solid health care. All this before 20 weeks. The child being most affected by the outcomes of her decisions what should happen to someone who acts this way?

[@nino90ma]

A good friend of mine is in a bit of an unfortunate situation I’d say. On the face of it she presents herself as very happy however she had to give up her career to move far up north away from her family and her career as well. His family also treats her pretty badly. She has to feed her mother in law and use her savings to do this. I’m not really sure if her marriage was arranged as she changes her story on this. Her husband seems like a nice guy but he’ll do things such as go away on lads holidays while leave her alone with their two small children. He even did this while she was heavily pregnant and had already suffered a couple of miscarriages. She also suffers from post partum depression. Don’t get me wrong he works hard for them I think but from the way she talks about it seems like this is cast up to her a lot. To me that’s shocking but I don’t know maybe it’s just me.