INTP Female and Selfishness

On the judgemental point, I'd say I am more self critical than judging others...

[@fritzsalzmann]

"You are selfish!" usually means: I wanted to take advantage of you and now I am frustrated, because you would not let me.

[@jessicaj.358]

Friedrich Salzmann wow! I think you're spot on!

[@PreppyHeiress26]

Friedrich Salzmann basically

[@Kutthroatkawaii]

Hear hear!

[@tbmcnation]

super common theme actually

[@johnyaiden7609]

True.

[@jennifergrove2368]

I'm INTP and I was with an ENFJ for 9 years. He said, especially towards the end that I was very selfish. But it's weird cuz in my head I've always thought I was empathetic. I think the selfish part is because we get very drained easily by human interaction. I've worked in customer service for 13 years and it's drained me to the core. I come home and just want to die all the time.

[@barbnew264]

I believe the "kind" side comes out in us when others twist our perception of ourselves thinking that we are rude and the nice side comes out because we try to protect ourselves,. I'm not sure if that makes sense. I had an ex who used this against me at the end of the relationship saying I had issues and this and that I was selfish and care little for the relationship the whole time and I felt sorry and started doubting myself but this is exactly what he wanted for my nice side to some out and manipulate it. I bet about being in customer service, that would kill me from the inside out /: perhaps a career change is on the rise

[@barbnew264]

It's been researched that men that are INTP's are less likely to identify with Fe as much as woman. Meaning they can be hard ass bastards I'm sure (have little to no feelings). I agree with the bullshit we put up with loved ones but I think it's the way we perceive it too, Like I don't want to sacrifice what I have worked for because they are guilting me into it. I don't think others would think about it in this way. I like to save and keep myself safe if anything was to ever happen. I am this way but many people I know aren't so much. Yes, now that I think of it, Fe must have been one of his main functions. I'm glad I'm out of that relationship... it felt depressive at times

[@spark300c]

honestly the problem with ti. intp are more productive when they work alone. it hard to think of ways to work with others. how ever intps do consider other people welfare. they prefer to work behind scenes. So working felids like maintenance,engineering is more intp cup of tea. intp are at their best when they can us their ti to help people. I am dsylexic and christian so being called selfish is something I do not get called.

[@randomregimen1573]

That sucks I hear too many stories of XNTP users feeling manipulated by Fe. Educating people on your way of showing you care about the relationship through acts of service may be difficult for others to understand. They should appreciate your strengths not on changing a fire pokemon into a water type lol.

[@tasheemhargrove9650]

Jennifer Grove I honestly don't know how you did that. I tried customer service twice and each time I could only last a week. I went into warehousing after that and it was a much better fit. If you can give any advice on how to do that I'm all ears, because I couldn't.

[@bananna3764]

I've been told I'm selfish by every person I've ever lived with. I'm also an INTP. I don't think it's that we're inherently selfish but we just don't know what other people want from us to show that we give a damn about them and that we don't just care about ourselves.

[@Banoffeenyx]

YES! Ok that is so true! I never know what people want from me

[@akazicool87]

Until a person doesn't tell us what they want were clueless.

[@Silvialoveskittiesmw]

Our time is very valuable

[@nissamelton8597]

Silvia M-Villalovos Agreed.

[@piyush4left]

this video is so relaxing .... whenever i feel stressed ... i watch this video... its like anti-anxiety pill

[@ScarHerrera]

Fellow INTP female here. Been researching MBTI/socionics for years. Welcome aboard this side of geekdom! I've been called selfish and judgmental at a young age and have tried adjusting my behavior to be more giving (to an extreme), but it hasn't really improved my relationships. I think it's best to continue being true to yourself and kind/giving when it comes naturally. You'll have a better relationship with yourself and others in the long run. I relate to your point about being self-sustaining. I'm standoffish and it isn't exactly seen as generous, but I try my best to provide for myself in any sense so that I won't need to take from others. However, if a friend requires assistance, I'll do whatever I can for them while keeping my own head above water. I'm also deeply self-critical, and that probably reflects in how I treat others. Not that I mean to make them uncomfortable... Yeah, maybe we're not the most kind and charming of them all, but there's no shortage of SF/NF types to provide that for society. We INTPs have our own valuable functions, and while we may come across as selfish/critical at times, I think we are among the most well-meaning of the bunch.

[@jerryp8118]

INTP's according to MBTI will be very independent. As you've stated, a type of selfishness is not adhering to group standards. Fe/Fi users may feel you are taking what you can, being around and in a way feeding off the emotional energy. They naturally expect you to give back in the form of some sort of camaraderie. An example is that because Ti is so independent a lot of Fe users will have an opposition to this. In fact Fe dominant users have Ti being diametrically opposed in their cognitive stack. They will naturally shrug off a focus on subject logic (Ti) which you are leading with. This is literally FAR away from where they are going. It brings feelings of inferiority. "Why can't I act independent and self sufficient all the time ? I'm gonna put you down so you realize how unhelpful Ti is." This kind of thinking does appeal to your own inferior Fe which will want you to harmonize. In a way you're expressing that in this video when you say " I don't want people to think I'm selfish" Your Fe is literally saying " I want to be liked and I think it is important to create social harmony." It's just a little tough for ya to be proactive about it :p That's my two cents. Nice video.

[@Scrattah]

My response would be "I know" because I feel like I am selfish but I also don't understand what the big problem with that is if I don't seek to gain anything at the expense of others, I just care about myself and my situation and what I'm doing more than other people's lives. The paradoxical part of this is that some of my biggest interests are the psychology of others, solving life problems that are not necessarily part of my life, but of others. No, I'm not great at providing emotional support, but I try to fix the problem rather than put a bandaid over it and pretending it's okay.

[@neodlehoko404]

Fellow INTP (female) here! Hi. I can certainly see why someone would call us selfish, but its almost always a misunderstanding of our intentions. Obviously selfishness exists in everyone to varying degrees and it manifests itself in different ways for different people; but if the majority of people recognise selfishness as the opposite of generosity, then people will always think you're selfish, even if you're really not. Many people fail to distinguish that a lack of generosity or sympathy, or intentionality, is not the same thing as a selfish personality. I guess the confusion makes sense because Ti is the function that best makes those comparative distinctions; and its hard to explain this to someone who doesn't compare stripped down information in the way an INTP would. I think INTPs are generous, but not for things people want; more for things they need. They prefer to give a truthful and helpful and informative opinion, because thats the best they have, but its the kind of thing thats taken as being judgemental or rude or uncaring, so they slowly stop offering anything at all. When a friend is in trouble, our instinct is to offer advice on where they went wrong, so they can improve, but most people are looking for the affirmation that they were right or that they were treated unfairly; and because INTPs see beyond the emotional bias and can't offer the comfort thats sought after, they're seen as being cold or uncaring. Its an unfortunate misunderstanding, and its really hard to explain without coming off like you're making excuses. But you also don't want to fake your reactions; pretending to sympathise when you really don't. It feels like a mockery to you and the other person. I think you'll find some cool perspectives in this link (just scroll down to the Introverted thinking section); www.the16types.info/vbulletin/content.php/134-Lenore-Thomson-MBTI-Functions Here is something from there, it kind of explains why INTPs are so "self involved" "Introverted Thinking leads you to relate whatever you are doing to some larger principles that you have identified. Hence, Ti is like having some kind of book in your head, which describes the inner workings of things. When interacting with reality, you are constantly writing and re-writing your book. To deal with anything, you have to be able to understand in terms of the observations in your book. Whenever you are dealing with any new system, you start writing a new chapter on it in order to attain complete understanding of it. This approach may seem very cumbersome from an extraverted standpoint. You don't really need to understand how a bicycle works in order to ride one. Yet Ti leads you to desire complete understanding of whatever you are doing, instead of looking up the correct procedure, or asking your friends for help, or kicking it when it's not working. In a sense that everyone understands, true knowledge comes through the fingers, not through the ears or the eyes." Sorry for the many words, hehe. I just wondered about this too for a long time and I wanted to share a bit. I don't know if that all made sense, it feels kind of jumbled to me. Hopefully you get what I mean. Great video. I liked the other one too. :)

[@barbnew264]

Neo D'Lehoko Wow! I'm so glad you left that message. This is exactly what I was trying to explain when I said "building myself". A sort of information network. Just today I went to my professor because a concept in biology was not making sense. I wanted to know the inner workings, I did not want to memorize the info. Instead to completely understand it and know what is behind the scenes of what is making the process happen. Thank you very much, very interesting...

[@barbnew264]

Neo D'Lehoko And also wanting to give someone a constructive criticism is hardly ever the way someone wants feedback, whereas for me I enjoy getting feedback that can help me to improve myself and my thinking

[@neodlehoko404]

Right!! And I've learned that the people I respect the most are the people who have taught me something I didn't know or shown me a new perspective. As a result thats how I like to contribute to others; offering an insight or observation. Nowadays I'm learning to do it tactfully and at the right time, because depending on when and how you give your critique, its either received or outright rejected. Which is a lot of effort coming from someone who is considered uncaring. I find that jokes help a lot... No problem, happy researching!

[@halnineooo136]

Introvert Thinkers are naturally self centered since they don't devote much time to social interaction and don't derive much satisfaction from it. Socialising may even be seen as a burden by an INTP. More emotional people find a lot of satisfaction and happiness in bonding with others and are very sensitive to rejection and loneliness. They naturally develop altruistic strategies to gain other people's caring and validation by reciprocity. Of course this is rationalised as being the expression of a high sens of ethics. Emotional people have hard time understanding people who doesn't feel the need nor the drive to be as altruistic as they are. They see them as of lower morality and sometimes egoist-shame them. It will always require an INTP some conscious effort to get to the socially prevalent standard of altruism. I think it is worth it to make an effort in that direction both on the practical level of getting reciprocal feedback and also by gaining more satisfaction and self esteem from being useful to others.

[@AndiLawson27]

Sounds like an ESFJ (in the 2ns paragraph) if I've ever heard of one.

[@TheBlackFenceCat]

Better to be authentic and considered selfish than not.

[@barbnew264]

True enough :) thanks

[@TheBlackFenceCat]

Barb New Thanks for the thanks. I hope you make more videos.

[@Anani69]

I don’t usually get called selfish to my face, but I can pick up on the energy of people thinking I am when I decline social interactions/events. I constantly have friends who accuse me of being lonely and needing more friends… and they don’t believe me when I tell them that it doesn’t concern or affect me. They think I’m in denial or some depression, when truly… being alone is the absolute best part of my day. People are usually surprised when I tell them I’m an introvert, because I’m very good at talking to people when I am forced into social situations. But I’m good at conversations because of my deep interest in psychology and human behavior, those interests have helped shape me into being a good conversationalist. But at the end of the day… I still can’t understand peoples need to be social. It genuinely drains me. I have fun in the moment when I do attend social gatherings, but it wipes out my social capacity for the next month. Maybe some people perceive that as selfish, but I’m just looking out for my own sanity.

[@01FNG]

I can relate. Also since I started Uni i noticed that I perceive people as walking bags of information for my entertainment. I am having a hard time forging meaningful relationships because of this

[@bluesunset9385]

Get out of my head lol. Although I have recently been trying to stop that it makes life a bit easier.

[@barbnew264]

I know what you mean by this, I haven't gotten to the point of just seeing people as information bags but I do ask or say things to people just for the sake of seeing their reaction. I find out info about somebody in this way and also about social interaction and what level you can go until the point someone thinks you're odd.

[@01FNG]

Barb New Haha, man i cant even count how many relationships I lost because "say things to people just for the sake of seeing their reaction."

[@barbnew264]

GOT TOSA Yes, not always the best things come out. I usually stay in the safe zone and do it to people I could care less if they like me or not

[@bluesunset9385]

Sometimes you can be on the other end of someones experiments and I know this so I'll try to act in a completely different way. I try to play the game only if the consequences are minimal or at least I say so.

[@foreverxundefined]

I'm have an intense selflessness(internally), arbitrarily, people don't reciprocate the facial or tonal expressions they register as warm & friendly when in the presence of an INTP. I would gladly give my life as a token in order to fix all of humanities delusions, but would need 110% proof, and would need reassurance if it actually worked, & I would be highly skeptical of the entity providing this opportunity as well.

[@amarti53]

Just because somebody says you're selfish, that doesn't mean you are. In addition, just because somebody's feelings get hurt by you, that doesn't necessarily mean you did anything wrong (and it definitely doesn't make you a bad person)! Don't let what somebody says about you bring you down, sweetheart :)

[@halnineooo136]

In a 80's french movie, a teacher asks a kid in the classroom -who happens to be the village mayor's son, what an egoist were. The kid replies that "an egoist is someone who doesn't care about me" :)

[@Robertoni7]

Do you mind telling the name of that film. I think I have seen it, but can't remember the name.

[@Youtubeaccount0708]

(20 year old intp male) I've been called selfish before, mainly when I was younger. The strange thing is that a situation where I genuinely don't care about (let's say the candy). But I feel like the candy is mine, so why should I give it to you for free? It's the Ti taking over completely which could be very difficult for other people to relate to, so it's described as selfishness. The Ti needs to be "fixed" in this case, as in most other cases since this world made for esfj types and not introverts like us. I can name 1000 different situations where I've noticed society is kind of rigged against us. But we're smart enough to find a way through it though, but still. Also I'm pretty sure I've read somewhere that intps can become more "selfish" when we're like depressed or something. Google it and you might find more info idk. Sorry if it's hard to understand what I'm writing sometimes! I'm from Sweden.. 😊

[@barbnew264]

Yes, most times it is just a matter of realizing I need to share or I remember that person does things for me and even though I don't want to give that person whatever it is I have to because it is morally right. Morals are probably the exact way esfj's see right and wrong. Probably a good thing they're around though, it's all a learning experience

[@forfor5169]

I'm INTP, and I can definitely relate. I've been called selfish, once before by a guy that really knew me. We were arguing and it threw me off... but when I thought about it I realized it was so true. I am very self involved, and I am always looking for ways that I can better my life. It is often all about me, me, me. Whether it's finding opportunities for me, or doing things only if there is a benefit for me, it's all about me. I don't think it's a bad quality, we survive better than anyone else because of it, and we are often very successful. I find that even when we do "selfless" things, like buy dinner for someone else when it wasn't asked, it is still to better their opinion of us. Very interesting that I've never actually thought of how I do this, my brain just tells me to do it.

[@forfor5169]

I would also like to add that I do love being an INTP, I find that we have other awesome qualities and are unique and critical to society. I think that we are very sustainable for ourselves, which I love, because we can really say we are independent and mean it. If I was thrown on the street with nothing, for example, I'm sure I would not have too much trouble in sustaining myself.

[@kosmocookieduster]

I'm INTP also. I can very much relate to what you are saying. I think altruism was probably the word you were looking for. Selfishness is a matter of perspective. Self sacrifice for others, for me, depends on whether someone deserves my sacrificing for them. I'm not altruistic by nature, for many reasons. I find some people take advantage of your nature if you let them, even to the point of being manipulative. I don't usually find that I can bring others happiness by sacrificing for them, so I don't put much effort to do so, unless the person is very special to me. I was known as a friendly and easy going person when I was young, but appeared on the shy side. But I found that sacrifice for others rarely brings people happiness and then feels like a wasted effort.

[@barbnew264]

Yes, I am quiet. I think others perceive me as shy even though I am just more internal. My ex was manipulative and I really didn't realize it until after the relationship... I believe I can be manipulated which I find annoying and makes me trust people less and depend more so on myself. Thanks for letting me know your view on this. I am wondering what it is like for you as an INTP now that you're older? Have things changed compared to when you were young?

[@kosmocookieduster]

I was also perceived as shy when I was really just more introspective. Although I was shy around girls I liked when I was young. For others it was not really that I was shy, but just internal as you describe. Certain people can inspire me to be more active with them. I wish I had had the advantage of understanding personality types and my being INTP when I was young. It would have helped me realize where others saw me as different. I knew I was different from most people and the conflicts and misunderstandings that can develop. My need for alone time can make me depressed if I don't recognize I need it. Most people around you might pressure you to be more extroverted and I can only do so much before I might start to withdraw. I have found it rare that I find someone I'm compatible with as life companion. So, unfortunately that requires meeting more people. But there have been a few in my life and when you find them, you will know it. It's interesting what you say about manipulative people. I found myself being manipulated by people (usually family members) when I was young and became hardened to it as I grew up. If you feel like you are being manipulated and it makes you unhappy, then there is a problem. Relationships should not feel like you are being manipulated. If I feel like someone is being manipulative towards me or if I feel I'm needing to be manipulative with someone to get what I need, then communication is faltering and the relationship isn't working. When both people give and take as a compromise, then you will not feel manipulated. I could ramble on more but I'll stop here.

[@TheCrisGilliam]

If it helps you at all, I have a perspective: ENFJs start out absurdly nice to everyone, and, first, in order to protect themselves, and then also because they recognize it's healthy sometimes, they learn to disconnect and observe. INTPs start out completely disconnected in observer mode and begin to connect with people, first to protect themselves, then because they realize it's healthy. I'm sorry your drunk friend got under your skin a little, I'm sure you've got a heart and are learning that empathizing can be a good thing-only like, at your choice though. On a side note, believe it or not, customer service even kills us, just not as quickly. (ENFJ)

[@johnyaiden7609]

My mom calls me sometimes selfish. I am, but I am also compromising, but people don't want to compromise they want all of your time, energy and resources, they are like leeches. Other than that I don't know since I don't hang out with people. By the way, I enjoy your "lethargic" energy makes me feel "home".

[@heathencake9110]

IT’s comments like this that read my mind where I don’t have to even comment, I feel at home

[@terrymoynihan4279]

I understand why being self serving can be observed as selfishness. I would consider us to be more protective of our own happiness yet not at the expense of others. like I know what pleases me so I don't let others force me into unpleasing situations. why should I displace myself emotionally at the risk of suffering just so they can feel loved? can we demand them to understand us and then call them inconsiderate because they can't? being selfish would be to always take and never give. like a controlling brat trying to dominate everything for their own gain. you're selfless, and just trying to find it.

[@kathrynfisher2982]

Your feelings are justified. You are not selfish. I know I don’t know you... but I can tell you’re just not a selfish person. You’re a thinker, that’s your fuel.... learning is fuel for you and for that person to use something that you really enjoy doing (and is also productive) and throw it in your face is completely unacceptable. That person is selfish. You don’t him your attention. If he is more extroverted and outgoing that’s fine. You don’t seem to be judging him and telling him he’s to talkative. Introverts and strong thinkers in general are just on a different wave of operating and others cross YOUR boundaries and act like you are doing something wrong. You’re not selfish! If that’s what they want to call it then you can just say, “okay I’m sorry you have that perception of me. I don’t have a right to tell you what to think of me but I don’t want to get into arguments so I guess that’s that.” Or something like that... I know this video is old but I figured it could still help and I think it’s extremely intelligent to study yourself. I’m actually going to post. Video of Alan Watts (I love him). I think you might too. Also there is a channel called Academy Of Life I believe let me double check. You’re a healthy person though and you’re very likable and don’t let him get you down Bc hes wrong.

[@barbnew264]

Thanks for your input, I love Alan Watts :)

[@Mindset4Consultant]

Barb New. As an injf let me just say the honesty you indicate in this video surely educates me and makes me less ignorant in the future with persons with your type. Thank you.

[@shybairnsgetnowt]

Fellow INTP female here. Of course I'm selfish. If I didn't care about myself, who else would?

[@Kutthroatkawaii]

"Selfish" is Fe user speak for "you're not acting like me and giving me what I want". Don't worry about them calling you selfish, it's projection and manipulation, a reflection of their selfishness.

[@jehriasean6379]

Yeah I was thinking everybody is selfish. Everybody is doing things in their item interest.

[@fatasssquirrel1731]

Distilled, evaporated, diced, and powdered copium ready to be shipped out. Everyone aboard the "I'm not selfish you're selfish" choo choo train.

[@biblehistoryscience3530]

The word “selfish” carries with it the judgement that you too often make _choices_ to put your wants above another person’s, when you could just as easily have put them first--and should have. I’m also an INTP and know that this is false. They just don’t understand how costly it is to conform to the crazy world, so rather than appreciating all the times we have done that for them, they criticize us for the times we haven’t.

[@prestonwl4076]

Selfish, Self-Centered, Self-Absorbed, Uncaring, Cold. I've been called these and more. Not only by other people, but i've judged myself this way in many situations. I feel like I developed these qualities very strongly at an early age, and it kind of messed me up. My Father's side and my Mother's side of the family have never gotten along very well. Without going into much detail I was very much in the middle always feeling as though either side wanted me to "Pick Them" over the other side. I wasn't going to do that. Instead of picking, I became self sustaining. I didn't need either side. I still carry this sentiment seemingly into every aspect of my life. I don't need anyone's approval, or gifts, or love. Unfortunately there are many people who do need those things from you(us) in order to be ok. "What you do speaks so loud I cannot hear what you say - Emerson" If I change this quote to "what you do speaks so loud that it does not matter what your intentions were" i think it fits me better and maybe you as well. Have you had the experience of, while you are away from someone you think how it'd be nice to do this or that for the someone, or this someone would enjoy it if i got them this or that, but you don't follow through with it. Once you get in a room with them again the motivation to do or say those things is gone, or you're afraid of the consequences, and feel safer just leaving it be?

[@barbnew264]

I can see what you mean here. I think as INTP's we learn to not care about other's opinions of us because it is just a distraction from doing what we want and feel we are meant to do for ourselves. For example I can be in a relationship and care about the person but after we have broken up I can very easily no longer care. Yesss... Wow I didn't know that had to do with being an Intp. Yes, Many times I want to give a compliment or write a letter or give someone a gift but I end up just not doing it. Whether it was to expensive, too awkward to do the task or just the fact I don't know what the outcome will be.

[@prestonwl4076]

Yea, disaster strikes and in almost no time we are back to "business as usual". That quality can actually really upset some people. A girl I was in along term relationship with was always suprised at how quickly I could just let things go, and sometimes would get upset at how quickly I would go back to normal after certain situations( kinda made me feel like something was wrong with me :/ ). I have a very hard time holding a grudge, or staying saddened over a loss. When someone has wronged me in some way I usually end up just not worrying about it and interacting with them as if though nothing has happened. Perhaps i'm just avoiding conflict, but i think mostly It's because it takes a lot more energy to hold onto those emotions than to let them fade away.

[@barbnew264]

Yes, I am very must the same in this way. Somebody can wrong me and often times I will feel something at first but then I sort it out and I forgive whatever happened. I often get told by my mother I need to go see a therapist, because of things that have happened in the past but I am not mad or angered by anything that has happened. Once I feel something I don't need to keep feeling it. I have already gotten over it. I think it is Very mind blowing and relieving that other INTP's have these same sort of characteristics. I can be made to feel bad about myself because I over think and the people around me are not like this. Thank you for sharing your view

[@prestonwl4076]

You're welcome, thanks for reading and replying. Also, I commend you for mustering the courage to post your thoughts/videos to the net. I imagine you were 50/50 on whether you would/should post, and I'd say you made a good choice.

[@nissamelton8597]

Preston Lynch 👏exactly

[@mistagloriousjacobsatorius4837]

As a young intp female I am also seen as selfish by family and friends, but It's not really a bad thing..It makes us independent and able to better understand ourselves..I find that intps can have a detached way of approaching peoples hearts even if they feel uncomfortable embracing peoples emotions and interactions with open arms.. I help people in other ways, and I do care.. It just kind of goes unnoticed because people prefer the sugar coated, fake smiles and light touch and talk.. When I'm feeling emotional I do question what it would be like to be able to get close to people in that way, but that just isn't me. And I am judgemental, but most people are ..They should be taken lightly because I am aware people aren't perfect...So I think it's really just a misunderstanding of the way I present myself, mainly their fault, not mine.

[@theinnocentabandoned]

Hi! I just found your videos after randomly looking to see what kind of new intp videos were out there. I've known about the MBTI and being an intp for maybe two years and like you, I dove in and researched as deeply as I could. I grew up as an only child and my extrovert mother wanted to live vicariously through me, but her plan failed since I went the complete opposite direction of enjoying girly things and social matters as soon as I developed a personality separate from her. She has always had such a way of wooing people, but it just wasn't a skill that I was able to develop. I felt like something was wrong with me. I also had an awful time in school, tried too hard to fit in and not hard enough at keeping my grades up. I was and still am in search of someone that could really know me and understand, I mean I have friends that are "understanding" but you know, they just aren't the type to have deep life discussions that I long for. My husband is the closest thing to being that. He's an intj and I think he's wonderful and a great match for me. He is intelligent and honest and so genuine, he challenges me and I him in different ways. He's a whole lot more responsible than I am. My head is always in the clouds and he is down on earth, and it has been nice for us to join each other either direction depending on the day. He also is just as happy to have alone time like me, I'm so grateful. However, he doesn't really like to sit and reminisce or talk about himself and his experiences, feelings, beliefs etc. Now I don't really like to talk emotional things, I just like to discuss every little detail about everything that interests me. So for example I would ask him about something he liked in high school. What happened, why do you think it happened, why did you like that, how did you feel then and how do you feel about it now? He just doesn't put that much thought into most things, just moves onto the next thing. He isn't able to empathize with the stress of over thinking everything, but he does sympathize and know I am trying to stop that. Anyways I know this is a novel, but I don't often comment on anything and watching these really connected with me. You remind me much of myself about 10 years ago but more self aware. Even your vocal patterns and communication style. I don't know any intp, and seeing a female one even on the internet is a bit rare so it was so odd but interesting that there are strangers out there with such similarities. It gives me hope that myself and you and the rest of us find deep meaningful connections and people that understand us in that way that we have been looking for. You seem like an awesome introspective chick, and NOT selfish. PS - I totally get called selfish, not by my husband but many others.. Because we decided to not have kids and I've always felt that way. I guess people are intimidated by people, especially females, that are not afraid to go against the grain to have the life they want and happiness without kissing asses and betraying our values.

[@barbnew264]

Hey, I know exactly what you mean about the people that don't get enjoyment out of those sorts of conversations. The ones where we highly enjoy just analyzing everything in our lives and other people's lives. The first video I made, I felt happy I found out about INTP's, I wanted to share my thoughts but it felt like nobody understood in the slightest. I sat down one day inspired and I made that first video. People responded, not just any people but INTP's, they could relate. I felt understood and just that helped me so much. As an Introvert, I'm "shy". I don't talk out loud much to people I don't know very well and the chance of meeting another INTP and connecting with them was very slim (because we probably wouldn't talk much to each other or believe we're another normal person that want's to talk about small talk). The way we think is different. We want to connect everything, that's why we ask questions so much. Wanting to know their human experience so we can connect more dots. I can see that your husband would be a good partner in ways that you can relate but it becomes hard because he doesn't think in the same way of connecting things, He perhaps has more of a direct way of thinking. I highly encourage you not to stop thinking the way you do though (not like it's possible in the long run) because I believe as INTP's we are very smart people that just need the right people and environment to say what we think and ask the questions that are on our minds. I think people you can speak to and they don't take what you ask as an offence or they can answer honestly and build on your question by asking a different question. We enjoy answers about the inner workings of people's minds but I believe a lot of people don't like to think about these things, it's not something they're conscious of or they don't care to share. Over thinking is pretty much my skill and it's a love/ hate relationship I have with it...

[@theinnocentabandoned]

Barb New You're so articulate, I love that! I tend to start typing out my thoughts and it turns into a jumbled mess that I sit and edit far too long if I don't watch out. Still better than I do in person (or worse, the dreaded phone call). If you haven't read it, find the book The Secret Lives of INTPs: Oddly Developed Types or something like that. It cost a few bucks when I got it but the pdf may be free now. It went into a lot of details, mostly subjective things but I was amazed by how much hit home. Also check out the enneagram personality test. It goes into a little bit different info, but just as crazy accurate. Most intp are 5s, including myself. I believe that so many relationships and things could improve if everyone knew themselves better and were more self aware. That's probably obvious, but it's just surprising how many people don't know themselves at all. I definitely try not to put myself in a box with these tests, but it was a wonderful start on the path to figuring my shit out.

[@cassycookie9558]

I've been told that I was rude and selfish. Yet I realised people who say this just didnt expect me to stand up and not follow the "social norms".

[@DorchesterMom]

I don’t give to another emotionally unless I deem them worthy of the investment. I do think I can be cold, but it’s honestly more about self-preservation. It’s not selfish to want to protect yourself ❤️

[@calcrappie8507]

Not worth being concerned about the guy that said you were selfish. I think being somewhat detached and independent has its own virtue and attraction from some of the other types. It also might garner a poke to two from the more manipulative types who can't operate without the mask of "caring" as they probe. I sound cynical, but people that go around advertising how much they "care" get a pretty wide berth from me (male INTP).

[@kimtopology4257]

As an INTP it's good to understand their cognitive functions to understand how INTP'S process info and how all your functions come to play in your life .

[@tylerjoseph5968]

Hello, I'm a fellow INTP and like these ideas you've elaborated on in this video because I feel them all the time as well. What really hits home is the idea of being judgmental. I think because us INTP's at the end of the day love analyzing things, we in our own mind sometimes may not think of this as being judgemental because it's as if we sometimes get too caught up in the analysis of a person in our head (almost as if we were just analyzing almost any normal data) seeing if their actions make sense with our logical framework. It sometimes gets to a point where I forget that this is a human being I'm analyzing and that there are emotions beneath the surface of this person much like myself. Sometimes it will take significant time for me to come to this realization and once I do I kinda put it to a screeching hault due to INTP's Objectivity, and then I kinda think to myself "who am I to judge anybody?" , I think even though INTP's can be referred to as judgemental I think on the same note we are also our biggest self critic. You hit the nail on the head as far as the selfishness goes with myself. It always makes me feel terrible once I come to the realization. I saw a few comments as far as your speech patterns go and that you need to edit the video? Maybe it's just me but I couldn't disagree anymore with that statement. I actually really like when there is that pause in speech and you can see a persons facial expression much like yours that they are deeply in thought, and are actually kinda calculating how they want to say something. I believe this is a sign of intelligence and it makes me wonder what in going on in their very complex mind. I can tell you are a very Intelligent woman based upon your demeanor, regularly showing instances of deep thought, and self awareness. Anyways sorry for such a long response, i really enjoy elaborating on things in detail lol. Have a lovely day!

[@karthikdill]

My dear INTP You just want to know know what you really need before you choose anything.. even though you know all the possibilities that you can imagine before choosing it.. you are still selfish to the world because you don't want to show yourself to the world still because of the insecurity you feel about it.. I just hope one day you will find someone that you can really open up with out thinking about any negative possibilities... I can see that it's difficult for you.. but the self transcendence of believing in something that you really care about within you is the only key to find that someone you really wanted. Everyone is selfish about their personalities belief system and not everyone is open about it to the world. You just have to find the right person who can make you understand who you really are and what you really desire. Your personality will always try to push him to all the possible limits to see whether he is worthy of showing yourself to them.. most people will give up.. but only one guy will want to try and wait for the entire life only if you can really make him feel like that about it.. you are really good many people wants you.. that's why you developed this personality.. but you developed this puzzle in your mind where everyone has to reach the end where you really reside.. but what you really have to understand is when you created that puzzle you had the intention that No Normal man can be able to find the treasure at the end.. and you still looking for something magical to happen.. if you ask me magic is real so go for it.. and don't forget to think how can you find him even if he was right in front of you.. -ENFP

[@karthikdill]

Just don't think too much and do what makes you Happy! That's all about living a happy life!

[@fonya_thee3026]

One soul works with one body so there must be such mechanism to protect yourself from all the unexpected and possibility of things.

[@thebigredwagon]

Kindness is considered by most to be the highest value. Probably because when people are having some kind of trouble kindness is of use to them even if they neither deserve it or not. Problem is, kindness is not the highest value, truth is. INTP value truth more than kindness because we know that in a bad situation a “kind lie” may make you feel good but it won’t solve the problem. We can detach emotion and look at a situation clinically but others who are more feeling in their nature perceive you as cold or judgmental.

[@mariuszszot3384]

We think about other people through empathy taken from our deep understanding of what happend to us or our relatives. Some people are addicted to serotonin, oxytocin, endorphins, and dopamine that are released when We feel happy when We've just helped other people. That selfish too. Look at sensors. They go through life. Deep inside. They care much less than we do. Way of Life. You register people as collection of feelings, knowledge, behaviour then put that in the right place in the logical order. exactly how it fits Yourself. Because nobody will be living Your life that is happening inside Your head like everybody else.... but with much more nodes connected together ;)

[@barbnew264]

"Some people are addicted to serotonin, oxytocin, endorphins, and dopamine that are released when We feel happy when We've just helped other people." I like what you said here, that really does make sense to think about it in that way, thank you.

[@DigitalCinematography]

Adorable. Thankyou 🙏

[@nathanfairchild2816]

I love how the videos by us INTPs takes a few minutes to get going. It would probably help to have a prompt, like answering a question, yet at the same time I'd imagine it to be freeing to be able to talk without pandering (or consciously not pandering) to the question asker.

[@sethcoma]

when I was younger it bothered me quite a bit as well that people would view me as selfish and lazy. Now I honestly dont really give a shit! If I'm supposed to focus my time and energy on others then are they not the ones being being selfish towards me? Don't get me wrong, I have no problem helping people when the situation arises and if I'm in a position to help and feel that my skills and/or understanding are best suited to help them. But I cannot spend all my time and energy looking for those who need help. Sorry, not going to happen. While I do agree that I can be very lazy(when it comes to household chores especially) I also think I do things in my own time my own way, but I also focus my energy in other areas that no one else cares about but are often happy to take my advice when it comes to those matters. As you grow up I'm sure you will learn to care less about what others think of you, as I have, and you will learn to be happy doing your own thing whether or not others give a shit or not.

[@seethalakshmanan1563]

Also did you ever look up anything about the film I was talking about earlier about the female lead character who is an INTP?The film is called Alaipayuthey. In the film, her persona is described as demure and simple as opposed to glamorous, a bit self-willed and independent, a "firebrand", and vivacious. In terms of her love relationships, her character is portrayed as a straightforward thinker who will not waste her time on a love partner who is not just as invested and dedicated as she is. Her type of man is someone who can demonstrate that they are not a fair-weather friend/boyfriend who is selfless in his love for her.

[@itiswhatitis7200]

What makes you think that the female lead character is an INTP?

[@bluesunset9385]

First I want to say that even the most altruistic person is selfish so its not necessarily a bad thing. I think people usually want to gravitate toward others in times of distress and it's expected that those who can help should help others. Similarly people like to surround themselves with the same values that they have in themselves and judge that as the proper way to act seems to be human nature. In regards to gender I would like to say that INTP or NT women in general are going to have negative experiences with selfish traits that their male counterparts may empathize with but not sympathize.Great video hope to see more soon INTP videos are so entertaining :).

[@barbnew264]

Yes, it is more so socially accepted to be a male INTP rather than female. I have a lot of male qualities but I would much rather be the way I am than being more chatty/ caring/ oblivious to the intellectually connective world

[@rhaeen]

i am an intp (20f). there is this friend of mine who i used to think will last forever as a friend. she is very nice and likes to go out of her way to help others. so naturally she gets taken advantage of a lot. i used to stand up for her because i thought she should know. instead of understanding me, she started calling me selfish. and the thing is she is a people pleaser so she hates saying bad to people. yet she said it to my face twice once jokingly and the next time she said it seriously. it hurted me a lot and i reminded myself it's better to be selfish than to be taken advantage of. so i too started using her. lol i hate myself for it but she kinda deserve it ig.

[@l8terivy]

my mom has called me selfish my whole life. ive gotten that judgmental comment too

[@gabrielgonzalez3327]

I really enjoy learning about the intp's... keep making videos ;)

[@bobbobby475]

I am an INTP and my closest compardres call me cold, heartless, etc. If I ever come off as being caring or social it's because im wearing a mask or lying

[@12233445566abc]

totally... I have identified a definite self-centeredness in myself (an INTP)

[@yelenayashchenko6194]

I too moved out and find myself being at more peace though in your situation, your going to school. Still. Constant disturbance by people can be difficult. And as an INTP I believe you have the best if intentions. Not selfish since I don’t see myself being that.

[@hardbrocklife]

Intp male here. I understand you completely. Just to add, you are super cute!

[@jehriasean6379]

Don't let people fool you. Everybody is selfish. Everybody you meet is doing things in their item self interest. I recently came to the conclusion that relationships are selfish. You care about that person in terms of that person satisfying your emotional and physical needs. It's really you love them because of what they do for you. Period. It's crazy but we are all selfish. If you have a friendship you are only friends because it is mutually beneficial for the both of you.

[@AstroMartine]

Funny I remember at the end of our junior year in high school, our literature teacher said we should "play a game" by writing on a piece of paper one main quality/one main flaw for each classmate, and I was surprised to see so many of them wrote "selfish" as a main flaw, and "ambitious" as a main quality..I was literally a quiet introverted nerd, and pretty sensitive.

[@Docgy]

We are more like to sharing the same, like other people do. We like to save a peaceful for our world. So we just do sustainable life at least for us first. Problem is, not much people care about that, and noticed what we're doing.

[@DansLikeaRockstar]

im an intp as well. I found really interesting this video because you talked about something really familiar to me. I hate christmas and birthdays because i always manage to procrastinate buying gifts until the last second. If I buy some gift i imediately begin second guessing it so the majority of times i end up not giving anything. Then i feel guilty for the rest of the year and then the cycle repeats. I can see that i take more than i give to my family but it would be a lot of wasted energy to try to change that.

[@stephaniemitchell8509]

Hello, fellow INTP female here... We're one in every 500 people, so it's not surprising we're hard to understand and relate to. You're not selfish, you're cerebral. Our lives are focused mostly within our own minds, so of course we're mostly introspective, and high feeling types (with Fe higher on their functional stacks) are going to perceive that as rather cold and detached. We know we aren't cold, and that we care and love others dearly, but it's not something that's easily perceived by them. It would be easier to say "this is who I am, and it's your problem if you don't like it," which is true... but not something we should strive for if we actually want to keep those we love near us. I made a conscious effort to develop my Fe about a decade ago, and it's helped my interpersonal relationships tremendously. You look very young, so in time this function will develop more and more as experiences tells your mind it's necessary to maintain important relationships. Other than that, there is nothing wrong with you. People that care about you will seek to understand the way you function, and respect it, much the way you'll seek to understand and respect them.

[@linyenchin6773]

It's only natural to want your potential optimized so that you can render the greatest effects in use of your faculties. It's not the act of being selfish but selfless, the act of refining your consciousness, your character, is a process that is a gift to you *and the world you interact with.*

[@tbmcnation]

either you're "selfish" or he feels entitled to a certain type of treatment or a level of attention that you don't necessarily owe him

[@chaii_latte]

I've been told I'm too selfless and let people walk on me. But I've been told I'm selfish too. So..its hard to figure out which one I am. But I think everyone is both tbh. Depending on the times. So I mean I hate when you do something and someone judged your whole personality as "selfish" or "pushover" just from one action.. Like okay I guess we are all only one aspect as a person. There's no way we could possibly be many things at once ..I know mind blown 👁👁 like wth? Calling someone selfish is in a way selfish in itself because you're labelling someone as you see fit. Not necessarily what they are...but some people are more selfish than selfless so..it fits in that case. Anyways those are subjective things anyways..so..its easy if you look at what you've done objectively..to figure out if you were selfish too much..

[@gonzalorodriguez1427]

Sorry for my english , my main language is spanish ... i am an intp and i can related for whath you say about others opinions on being selfish . I think the diferent is intp's like us dont look some much for help , especialy if that help is just oriented to feel bether for the moment And is not showing us whath is the real problem and what is the bether solution. I prefer to find the solution for my personal problems for my self , even if is a painful long hard work .And i think most of the time i spect other people to do the same thing by herself . But i have to say , people always look for mys advices when they are open to try to understand and no just have a little emotional high for the moment . and Many times they think in the end that i realy care for others . Just not in the way of« just flow whith the people and help to feel bether» but insted helping to think the problem and find the solution that can potencialy realy help ... so in resunen . We intps can be seen like selfish , only for the point of view of make people feel bether , just flow whit oters and take others subjetivity like if is objetivity . But we are caring people , the thing is , we care for other people whit the same tools we uses for us .

[@user-yp3yj4ig7g]

I am an INTP and I definitely can identify with this. It isn't that I am not concerned with other people, it is usually that the other people I am concerned for are a very select few. I am mostly concerned with understanding, improving and taking care of myself. It isn't that I don't feel empathy towards others, or will refuse to help them when needed, I just think that it is important to take care of myself before others, as I would expect that others would take care of themselves before me.

[@brandonrobinson3834]

I can totally relate to this as a fellow intp.

[@nissamelton8597]

INTP here. This is such a relief to know that other women 'struggle' with this selfish mindset. Maybe since we don't expect anyone else to fill us up, (or rely on outside opinions to justify our view on ourselves) to others who see this as such a foreign concept will dismiss us as selfish? Buying someone a gift that they didn't ask for seems absurd to me because if I want something myself, I go get it. We're naturally independent. Women, for the most part, are glorified as emotional beings who give their all to those they love. For a INTP, heterosexual women and as a mother, this has been and will always be an issue for dealing with close up relationships as well as how we're viewed by others (when we get out of our heads long enough to care about what others think). 😎

[@tangerinefizz11]

People are wrong to conflate introspection and selfishness. If anything, introspection is healthy and engenders a better understanding not only of oneself, but also of others.

[@randomregimen1573]

That sucks self development shouldn't be associated with selfishness! Altruistic people find it difficult to take care of their needs first so maybe going against his belief is regarded as a bad thing :(. It's weird I've struggled with both ends of the spectrum and this video kind of helped me get some perspective on myself :).

[@5thRing]

INTP male. On the one hand, keep in mind that other people's perceptions of you will be based on their own knowledge, experience, and values. On the other hand, there is no such thing as a selfless choice. So, everyone is selfish. That's unavoidable. They are unknowingly complaining about the wrong thing. Accusing someone of being selfish is utterly useless.

[@LightProgramming]

This is a 2x speed type of video

[@speakersr-lyefaudio6830]

Intp dude here. Never thought I’d look at a girl and be reminded of myself. Damn, that’s new.

[@xXChaosChelleXx]

I've been called selfish quite a few times before.

[@BenVaserlan]

Re being a type: "In so far as such an attitude [T vs F vs N vs N] is habitual, thus lending a certain stamp to the character of the individual, I speak of a psychological type." Jung wrote 'habitual' in italics. No stamp = no type. It's about type resemblance rather than being a type. I describe myself as an INTP resembler rather than as an INTP. I am not a category. :)

[@michaelgreco1175]

I know what you mean by selfish all though I wouldn't say I am selfish at all, as an INTP i'm very, very independent but I am also very very kind and I wouldn't say that I have a single selfish bones in me body.

[@barbnew264]

Good to be that way... I would say I am selfish but people can guilt me into things semi-easily

[@hazelz.9785]

yeah, my mum calls me selfish from time to time... I can see probably how people arrive on this conclusion, but anyway I won't even try to change my behaviour this thing doesn't really bother me, and I guess the word you're trying to say is "altruistic". I feel so repelled not being able to have my own space basically a room with a lock and that's where the tension between me and my parents gets amplified, sometimes I feel desperate because I know they don't have the underlying knowledge to care for finding out why I behave in certain ways. Would you try to convince your friends or parents to learn about these traits?

[@barbnew264]

I find it really hard trying to explain to my family and friends what I'm like when it comes to space. I think they generally end up getting offended when I try to explain it. Ex. Me: I just need space sometimes from people, I get into a bad mood and start to not act myself. Them: You even need space from me?

[@Pitoeng1]

Don't make sense, intp always not care but then not accepting your type doing same shit. Intp never trying do something in relation with other people and if people do or trying to understand intp like no explanation about your self. What irony intp not smart as intj to be honest -my infj perpective

[@pbkayakyer]

Ah yes, "The world doesn't revolve around you!" I've been told that since I was a child. 35 years later I'm still "selfish"... but I'm not really, I just happen to be very independent😁

[@jeffreyminnie9194]

Hi...an INFP. As an NFP I rely upon my emotions as an integral component to my everyday decisions and interactions. I can't imagine restricting the flow of that rich aspect of life from myself (we're deemed selfish as well). I'm watching this because I'm attempting to parse the outer shell of a female INTP. You're tough cookies but you can't fool an INFP...as I can sense the bubbling cauldron of reluctant emotion within her. How can I draw her out sans appearing intimidating/intrusive?

[@slideszi]

If ur selfish for being real and authentic so be it tbh

[@elijahg.4629]

I’m INFJ. But I sometimes feel like an ENTJ when I’m really mad. Either way I still admire those INTP’s point of views. Selfish or just pinpointed. I don’t know..

[@Secret-Serenity]

I've been talking to an INTP for years and I can attest that he is selfish. If you ever have an issue and need to talk he always seems to figure out a way to make it about him and you literally can not talk to him about things that he does that bother you or he gets defensive. He told me he was an empath which I found ridiculous because anytime anyone is upset he gets upset too but it's because of how it is affecting him. Everything is always about him and he has no idea he does this.

[@anyone359]

I see myself in this video. I still don't know if I am INFP or INTP because i have traits of both... Maybe even a little bit more INFP. But i relate to almost everything you said. IXXP - Identity EXXJ - Tribe

[@ssloanlpn]

Idk about the selfish thing but this is my first time to listen to intp woman. I'm a infj and I'm in love! ;)

[@Sei1989]

I'm curious to know what makes her judgmental and what makes her selfish

[@robertn4815]

I think it was a poor choice of words on his part. Ofcoarse being drunk didn't help his choice of words. Self-preservation is not bad, even if it is by definition "selfish" but "selfish" often has other socially implicit connotations that are negative that may not truly represent the thing the person is trying to represent. I have seen an extrovert be selfish. I am not sure what his type was, I am guessing ENTJ. "selfish" is just what they like to call us introverted deciders. "Selfish" is what they call self preservation and sometimes even self-sufficiency. Perhaps if more people focused on self-preservation and self-sufficiency we'd collectively achieve post-scarcity of needs through Food Foresting and automation thus making the interdependence of extroverted deciderness no longer required? That would just be comical if in response to them talking down to our Di, we just made their De not needed. It's already been done on a smaller scale many times. - ISTP

[@nmcborst]

Never thought about INTPs being perceived as selfish. It might be the case that you did hit on a difference in the perception of INTPs natural behaviors based on whether they are male or female. Male INTPs I know and met over the years worry more about being perceived competitive in a negative way. Plotting, sneaky, not being open, uncaring, or emotionally disconnected from the feelings of others are phrases that come to mind, phrases that male INTPs, especially the ones that are _perceived_ as being successful by society's norms and values, often hear after they have learned to be themselves, i.e. more emotionally independent than others. Please note that I did stress the word perceived, I do not argue for possible differences of INTP traits between males and females, just for the perception their behavior and thoughts evokes in the thinking of others, the causal and moral hypotheses that observers of INTPs create while trying to comprehend their intend. A certain amount of selfishness is often perceived favorable in our (spoken from a western point of view) society when employed by males. This, of course, independent of the value and influence, positive or negative, that this shared perception has on societies as a whole. And, independent also, of the value and influence on the individual MBTI categorized personalities that constitute these societies, when they each observe typical natural INTP type behavior. All of us, all MBTI types, all man, all women, but individually, have different perceptions. There _is_ no shared perception. It doesn't exist in a persistent way, it is of a transient nature. No matter how valuable the MBTI categorization, the distinction male versus female has rooted a much longer time in human history. We should expect its categorizing influence to have a strong effect, and indeed can observe this effect throughout history, even though we may allow ourself to abstract over the sexes and find interesting observations. The perception of (female) INTPs being perceived as selfish was a new one for me, thanks for sharing that thought. The key observation I would like to make here is that you, a female INTP in the process of empowering yourself by allowing yourself to be yourself, might like to prepare for the "next phase", you being bored easily (as you state) after assimilating everything there is to know about a certain subject. Quality can be found in the details. Categorization focusses on the differences, but don't get lost in them ignoring commonalities, and certainly do not loose the drive to search for the opposite of categorization, because unity is often what we really search for in each other. As society rightly becomes more and more egalitarian in our era, you, yourself, you being the INTP you that you are, may expect to be perceived competitive just when you are being you. Even when you are the best you that you can be as an INTP. That's OK. Being emotionally independent is not a fault when it comes naturally. It's not something that needs to be fixed. You are OK. What can be fixed (in terms of optimized, secured, bettered, nurtured, grow root, etc.) are the methods you know and employ to get feedback on you being you. Consistent thought comes mostly naturally to INTPs, it does not really require feedback. The hard part for INTPs often is learning how to turn thought into action at first and learning how to filter feedback from actions secondly. I'm talking from the context of timescales of a lifetime here. You seem, or so I think, to have learned that first step. Let's be open, assertion mode, you thought this you being INTP you on youtube thing through to the core until you (finally) decided to do it, right? Probably thinking about it for months if not years in some way or another, right? It was scary to do, just the change of having no feedback, the change of being ignored, the change of not being valued, it did border existential fear as you understand that term, right? You did feel empowered by the initial responses (and you should!) the openness with which (all of a sudden) you are able to receive real feedback on how you are perceived daring to be you as you see yourself, right? I would urge you to be careful to protect yourself against that need for feedback. It is a double edged sword. You are in a phase where you show more of yourself than you can possibly be aware off (everyone is) while stepping into a world where feedback about you being you will all of a sudden become abundantly available to you. (You might not feel that will be the case, I nonetheless predict it will be.) Having a strong ego is not a crime, but requiring feedback on that ego makes your self image susceptible for manipulation, no matter how much your thoughts are INTP formed and protected. You have craved for feedback in the past. That past is gone. Congratulations. You are OK. PS. I deeply enjoyed your thoughts, thanks for sharing!

[@barbnew264]

Jeez you said a lot there... Not completely sure how to take that in. Surprisingly I decided to make that first video the same day I thought about it but I did get very excited about the feedback. I've never had so many people actually able to relate. My gosh. But I can see what you mean about it being a double edged sword... It sounds bad but like an addiction. You want to know more and more about this type theory stuff. Trying to dig into it... It's hard to just see life simply. Stick to the way people are without categorizing them... I just want to know more and make it less complicated, but I believe I'm probably making it more complicated. People all have their own opinions, they're all different and to try and pin them down like this is madness. Hmm... Not quite sure what to think. Anyways, I like your honesty and deep thinking

[@TheJebusChris]

Thank you

[@billbutton7669]

Thanks for the video. My take on it is that your friend got kind of drunk and then started fault finding in a way that was a bit rude. Nothing you said you do really sounds that selfish to me. Plus, you seem to feel guilty when you're not catering to the needs of the group, so that's another reason why he should have kept his mouth shut, lol. On a side note, what you said really reminds me of what objective personality says about IXXP problems. LIke, according to them, IPs naturally have a hard time creating a balance between their introverted decider (being the self, abbreviated Di, which is Ti in your case) and their extroverted decider (being the tribe, abbreviated De, Fe in your case). Objective personality seems to be the best system out there as far as Jungian type is concerned.

[@intp9944]

Will i ever feel happiness again bcs i just made a mistake and i can’t handle that nothing is perfect......

[@WoWCity]

Exactly INTP

[@invisiblepippa]

I'm an intp and 27 year old. and I think your point not selfish much carrier thank you think. its just a point of view. I think its not kind of selfish. i don't know whos says to this stuff to you but i think is just his point. from his view looks selfish but i heard what did you talking about and i think this is very natural habit. its not a problem.

[@leshahnhill]

There really must be something to the break down of personality traits in Miggs Breyers test because it also deemed me as INTP and I find what you are saying fits a lot about how I am also.

[@barbnew264]

Leshahn Hill Yes, compared to zodiac signs it has a lot more behind it it seems like. I don't know how it all got into 16 personality types. but some of the people that comment on these videos share problems that are exactly like the problems I have just different situations. it's crazy

[@leshahnhill]

Yes indeed it is crazy....lol. We are like are almost identical.

[@conanmaderok1172]

Have you read any of Ayn Rand's work (Atlas Shrugged, The Fountainhead etc)? I have an INTP friend who has expressed many of the same sentiments of being called selfish and unfeeling when he is standing by his principle of putting rationality before the piece of him that wants to please people. He really liked Atlas Shrugged, it lays out a defense for selfishness that resonated with him. I (as an INTJ) did not enjoy the book, the bad writing style and convoluted philosophy rendered it unenjoyable, but I think I'm naturally more selfish as my Fe is nearly invisible, and I feel no guilt ignoring people's desire to arrive at an emotional consensus. Also, do you have any suggestions/advice for maintaining motivation in college? I have another INTP friend who is majoring in mathematics, but occasionally struggles keeping up with the homework, and with feelings of apathy towards school in general. I think this happens to everyone at some point, but I was wondering if you have experience getting out of those pits of depression that manifest every few months. Thanks,

[@seethalakshmanan1563]

Barbara Ann, I would like to know your response to my comment, so please reply to my post. I know a lot about the subject because I have experience with this type. Also, INTPs are by nature not overly affectionate people so they are not typically the nurturers who enjoy nurturing others and caring for their needs. They may not always be interested in bonding with others and others can be hurt by their indifference to them.

[@barbnew264]

Yes... I started reading that article on if the person is self absorbed, I mean I already knew that I am. I enjoy my own company and with other people I generally like learning the information that they hold, I'm not interested in they're problems or gossip or random stories that go on for too long. I have to force myself to do nice things and say nice things and give out compliments. I generally think of compliments or enjoy something about someone but will rarely say it. I suppose I might not realize what someone is feeling but if I get any sort of vibe I've made things awkward or theres a change in the way the conversation is going, I will try to fix it or I'll just stop talking. I'm not interested in small talk and often try to escape it or try to find something deeper to talk about. I highly try to keep things in harmony around me because I don't like anger or commotion... This is more so because it makes me feel uneasy not because I care about they're emotions.

[@seethalakshmanan1563]

Barbara Anna, thanks for replying to my comment:). Yes that is true INTPs stay away from gossip and from bringing up issues of infighting. That is why into females cannot always relate to other women. Also, Would you agree with what I stated earlier? : "This causes INTPs to be self-centered since they can experience that they manifest themselves towards the needs and desires of others thoughtlessly and insensitively." Although we have established the selfish aspect of the INTP, I have noticed that INTPs are also kind-hearted as well because they are usually nonjudgmental of others and because they usually perceive others in a positive light. Like you said earlier that you are usually thinking of things you enjoy about that person in your head. INTPs are also comfortable in their own skin and in turn do not see a need to deliberately hurt others.

[@WindydayHK]

how about "not selfish unconventionally"...?

[@HelerifiKtion]

Maybe self-preservation is the term you are looking for.

[@marlieeasley830]

Yeah bro... I’m pretty selfish..

[@SpaceCattttt]

Will you slap me if I mention the Beach Boys? Given your name, you must get surfing comments all the time! ;) Anyway, I enjoyed your video. You're clearly a thoughtful person, and that's just nice to see, dammit.

[@barbnew264]

teppolundgren actually I was named after the beach boys... so I mostly have people singing the song to me randomly

[@SpaceCattttt]

It's a good song. You're lucky. It could've been much worse. I can tell you're Canadian and no offense, but if I was named after a Bieber song, I'd never leave the house. Bryan Adams, Celine Dion or Rush songs would be fine, but not Bieber...

[@barbnew264]

teppolundgren lol I don't know anyone named after him

[@snudgegalbraith3447]

You arent selfish others are just high maintenance.

[@chumptown259]

I love intp's, in fact I am one, but daaammmmnnnn, learn to edit, you people take ages to get to the point, which is fine because of editing software, which means you can edit, which means we can just get straight to the point, and it's easy to use, and you can torrent it, what, what. what?, know what I am saying foolios, for reels and shi, daaaammmmnnnn, yours sincerely Chumptown

[@barbnew264]

Lol I know nothing about video editing and could care less. People who care enough to watch the video will sit and hear me say um in-between every sentence :)

[@rosacutejenniely8339]

I hate when everything is straight to the point. I like to hear the thought process out loud because that's like me. I like to take time to process and I hate just literal 'this is what I'm saying & that's it.' That takes out the fun of figuring it out yourself. Plus I hate it when people think everything has to be done a certain way. You don't have to edit, you don't have to write short sentences. Who cares about society? That's just my view however.

[@rosacutejenniely8339]

(Intp)

[@barbnew264]

Haha yess, if you come to an INTP's video you should know it's going to be them talking out their thoughts. Plus editing is boring and doesn't show the person's full character (as you can cut pieces out you don't like)

[@drsalka]

@chumptown i thought the same, then i just sped the vid up to 1.5x and later to 2x normal speed :)))

[@collienkaseberg9615]

Why do you give a rip what a drunk person calls you? Just because you care for yourself and you are an internal person doesn't make you selfish! Do some Journaling and get to know yourself! Female INTP and have been one for 82 years. We aren't like others I count it good!

[@AKB35955]

Youre selfish or just not willing to give your energy to just anybody?

[@lazyscholar7932]

Are you a 5? It seems like you are giving off 5 vibes. Selfishness is not a good or bad thing. Having fair systems and rules in place for people to interact with is what matters.

[@quintonwilkins452]

Lol im INTP and i feel so depressed after seeing all these videos. O god help me please!!