INTP Loneliness

Host Zachary talks loneliness while making popcorn

[@stariqa2]

Intp do suffer from loneliness or love craving but as soon as things get close enough in relationship, our defensive wall comes into play and we start panicking or become anxious and finish off the relationship. So it's like a loop.

[@aylinlugo8031]

Syed Tariq Asghar too accurate i can relate 100%

[@stariqa2]

Thanks. Glad it resonated with you.

[@patrickmoore2031]

Bam.

[@sandra123marar]

Yeah I got ghosted by someone who for 3 weeks we talked for hours on end. And such a romantic connection in person. We talked about honestly everything real and not just the fluff stuff. The most honest connection I felt since I was 20. There was an emotional recicuproation. He was vulnerable like he said he doesnt do often. I'm an ENFP..so he enjoyed my own thoughts. Point is Saturday i got ghosted. Never happened to me before. Such a disappointment in what I thought was character.

[@user-yq3nt9xi2u]

exactly

[@ttmalek1]

A few personal observations... Loneliness is definitely something that all INTPs go through in life. In my youth and younger adulthood, it was a serious issue. I think this was due to a lack of understanding of myself and my needs as an INTP. The lack of emotional connection seemed to be the culprit. Growing up and observing other types and seeing the emotional connections they formed was a guide to me. Trying to emulate those connections always failed and left me unfulfilled since my needs were different than other types. This led to emptiness and loneliness. My mistake was to associate emotions with only feelings. Emotions are not exclusive to feelings alone but to thinking as well. I have found that emotions are a physiological response to both feelings and thinking. Those that see emotions only connected with feelings would have you believe that if feelings are not represented that you lack emotion and are cold. That is far from true. Therefore, finding emotional connection does not have to be feeling based, it can be thinking based as well since they both illicit emotions within you. Myself, I have found that intellectual connections generate the strongest emotional responses. By developing intellectual bonds with others I have created these sought after emotional connections. The range of emotions I experience when connecting in this manner is extensive. With this understanding, it has allowed me to let go of seeking connection in a "normal" feeling based way. I am not saying there are not feelings at all, just that they are usually secondary to my thought based emotions. On a side note, I have found that it is difficult for me to maintain more than one close emotionally based relationship at a time. I put an enormous amount of energy into that one relationship and all others tend to fall away into less connected associations. This works for me. It may appear odd to other types, but that is fine. Throughout my entire life thus far I can see this pattern of bonding with one individual at a time. So in my opinion, loneliness seems to be the result when I am seeking emotional connections on someone else's terms or expectations, not my own needs. Have a wonderful day.

[@nayrking8]

This was a very insightful comment. You're spot on with "loneliness" manifesting when you seek connection on someone else's terms. I often find myself feeling most alone when I go to holiday gatherings with the family or parties and am surrounded by individuals who I feel no substance toward. I also resonate with the pattern of bonding very closely with one individual and keeping others at bay during the time. I hadn't realized that until reading your thoughts, but that is the same pattern I utilize to incorporate new individuals into my small social circle. This can cause some issues I find in the future as once the INTP has switched to pursue another individual, the INTP expects previous relations to sustain their substance. Often without the bulwark of the INTP effort there, relations can tend to decay due to a non-reciprocation from the INTP. Though, this isn't always the case, as I have a few contemporaries whom I have sustained connection with for an extended period without engaging actively with them, and it feels very nice to become aware of them again once I reconnect. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

[@ttmalek1]

"Loneliness in a crowd" is a very true concept for INTPs due to the social expectation of the "crowd" being very different than the INTP's ideal of connections with others. This is why it is much more favorable for small and intimate groups over large crowds. Family gatherings are very tough for me since I don't really connect in many ways to the other members. It sometimes feels like I am a stranger within my own family. My few close friends I have feel more like family. Friends from the past that connect with my personality are around when you want them to be. Unfortunately, I do not make much of an effort to stay in contact, INTP trait. But if I do, the ones that are worth it are usually only a text or call away. Remember that. I always enjoy your videos you post with your personal thoughts and feelings. Keep it up. It is good to let the world know who we are.

[@JHruweTV]

+T EM I get my satisfaction from just a few close friends. If I have a romantical partner, then I can be perfectly sustained by them alone but 5 strangers in a room with me can drive me into a corner. I can feel more alone in a crowded room than I do alone. At least in my room no one is different than me or has weird expectations. I don't often think about loneliness while I'm alone but I certainly do when I'm feeling particularly different from others.

[@dianekerrison9100]

It is great reading all these comments and I relate totally. I always thought I was so weird because I love solitude yet desire a real connection with another deep thinking person

[@AmB39]

T EM 100%

[@aylinlugo8031]

I experience loneliness not when i am a alone but when i am surrounded with people that i can't relate to so basically all my highschool days

[@casanova4391]

100% agree.

[@shamaniccolonic777]

aylin lugo I'm completely content by myself almost everyday, doing mostly "nothing". When I'm around people; even friends, I'm more stuck in my head and over analyzing everything more than ever. I see that no one really understands me, or could even comprehend my thinking/mind. Which is really depressing over time.

[@shamaniccolonic777]

aylin lugo I'm completely content by myself almost everyday, doing mostly "nothing". When I'm around people; even friends, I'm more stuck in my head and over analyzing everything more than ever. I see that no one really understands me, or could even comprehend my thinking/mind. Which is really depressing over time.

[@xynx1211]

Yeah, I'm typically much happier and much more myself when I'm alone. Being alone is not loneliness.

[@Nadeshda44]

I can't watch a movie fully, because I get bored and then want to watch something else and can never finish anything

[@artiXIXI]

try al pacino's movies. his acting is eye catching

[@stevenglansburg856]

Watch movies made with actual film or has no special effects and pure camera effects, practical effects or camera tricks. These movies are more enjoyable than CGI space fights. I don’t know what movies you are watching, but there is good film out there and it’s not made in current Hollywood brand of movie.

[@ktraider100]

How do you do my fellow entp

[@ZapEdge]

ENTP

[@estherbjerga523]

My dad said something once that I'll never forget: "Everyone is going to experience some degree of loneliness throughout their lives." This was in the context of talking about the individual strength of the need for freedom and independence in people. How one's own desire for independence can have a large impact on one's loneliness, and whether it is worth it. On another note, what I find especially difficult about keeping relationships is that I want my emotional connection with someone to be founded upon shared ideas and philosophies, but I find that a lot of people almost want the reverse of that? They want the emotional connection to come first and take precedence, and then create shared ideas, experiences, etc off that. For some reason that just feels backwards to me.

[@nayrking8]

I experience a similar difficulty. It is interesting to me to ponder what it means to be _compatible_ with someone. I find it difficult to develop romantic bonds with others on feeling terms because mine take some time to develop, yet I also find it difficult to turn cerebral connections into romantic bonds once they have become established as such. I think INTPs definitely prefer to be engaged in the cerebral first. I think we also have plenty of instances where we've built friendships or romantic connections through our charming Ne-Fe loop, but once the substance of the INTP is revealed, there is usually some friction. This I think is why I have experienced what I referred to in the video as, "relations with people in the abstract." The reality is charming people with our Ne and Fe tends to be rather fun, but usually "iffy" when developing real bonds. This is where being engaged on cerebral terms is desired. I think an INTP's best bet is to hope they draw in an ESFJ with their Ne-Fe long enough for both sides to develop feelings, or another NT type who wants to take the time to develop romantic feelings for one another. Though, I am skeptical of the faculty model to explain romantic behavior; it enjoys being resistant to frameworkiness in all of its spontaneity.

[@estherbjerga523]

Ziach you're so right about "once the substance of the INTP is revealed, there is usually some friction." I have been in friendships where I've spent YEARS hiding behind Ne and Fe and then I'll become tired of constantly engaging those functions around that person and the friendship crumbles within months. In years when I was younger I was guilty of manipulating others by forcing them to end friendships with me when I became Fe exhausted. I would turn off Fe almost completely around them and force them to strongly dislike me. I found this easier than telling someone I no longer wanted to be friends or maintain a relationship with them, because it did not involve them wondering why I wanted to end that friendship and thinking I disliked them or was angry at them. I remember you mentioned that you were dating an ISTJ, and I wonder if the relationship was cerebral first? I have a friend who is an ISTJ (possibly INTJ) who I would call my best friend, and this is because our relationship is not based on affection, rather the affection is a result of our friendship. You should do a video on ISTJ and INTP relationships it you're up for it? I would be very interested.

[@nayrking8]

Hey Esther, I finally made the ISTJ/INTP relationship video. It's uploaded on the channel now. Apologies for taking so long to make one due to laziness, I'm an INTP forgive me...

[@estherbjerga523]

Ziach I'm pretty sure that on the INTP timeline, you got around to that really fast. Going to watch now.

[@Talkingwithfamouspeople]

I like how you say "almost want the reverse of that," as though it were inconceivable that they might completely want the reverse of it. Everybody but INTPs, ESTJs, ENTJs, and ISTPs wants the reverse of that. That's for friendships. Relationships are for nurtury mammal stuff.

[@benrutherford4487]

The intp comments are usually the ones that are 6 paragraphs long

[@horsemumbler1]

Also ones with 0.

[@benrutherford4487]

A few profound words usually come from years and years of living- or children😄

[@Sean27007]

.

[@afafssaf925]

About the bonds thing, I had extremely similar experiences as an INTP and I have come to the conclusion that it all comes down to the fact that I look at people in an extremely idealistic way, I expect them to be less complicated when it comes to the relationship between their emotions and their actions and also I overestimate their capability and/or willingness to discuss more.... interesting things.

[@richardwilliamjohnson8566]

Spot on

[@fergusbarnett6029]

Last of my random observational outbursts - 8:06 to 8:10 - those eye movements are surely the hallmark of an INTP 🙄. It says "I am now lost in my thoughts" or "I have now taken this debate 'internal, please bear with me". I've never actually seen myself do it but I recognise it happening with me nonetheless from the look I (eventually) notice being shot back by my non-INTP audience. A furrowed brow, raised eyebrow, upturned corner of the lips with a neck that tilts the head slightly away from me. It's a look that simply says back to me - "are you OK?" Ha ha. Can't find the emoji for it..

[@11uja]

when he said "chill the fuck out dude"

[@Talkingwithfamouspeople]

This philosophy might be called, "Emotional Samurai-ism."

[@timtim9o5]

insightful

[@mauve9266]

I always wish people in the comment section were people I knew in real life

[@colloredbrothers]

You remind me so much of myself, the entire thought process and even the pace of how you speak being very careful and deliberate. I have my own observation on loneliness, it stems from our shyness. And our shyness stems from our insecurity. And our insecurity stems from not knowing ourselves and/or not loving ourselves. Because we are not grounded in ourselves we are easily swayed by what others might think about us. We are afraid. But as long as you have good intentions you shouldn't be afraid to be who you are. It is possible that some people will perceive the things that you do or say in a negative light, and as someone who is sensitive we don't want to give people a bad impression. But what we need to understand is that someone's bad impression of us might have nothing to do with our character, rather the character of the person which perceives us negatively. Even Jesus was hated, its normal because there are many wicked people in this world. You cannot have a good impression on everyone, so its important to stop trying to appease everyone and simply be yourself. If you are fully grounded in yourself and you love yourself, you will have no problem approaching someone.Because if that person for some reason reacts negatively to you, you will understand that their reaction has no bearing on who you are as a person. This is solidity of character, this is a person who is sure about who he is. A person who might not be so sure of themselves will be affected by others calling him names, or being angry at him. He will start doubting himself. Ultimately we are seeking to destroy the ego, the moment it dies is the moment we are reborn and we lose all fear. Once you lose all fear the world will seem like a playground. Its important to not legitimize shyness and loneliness as side effects of "our intelligence". We should seek to go through these emotions until we are free of them. Fear is everywhere and in practically every person, those few who are free of it might as well be Buddha's.

[@benrutherford4487]

The more people i have around me the more I realize how different i am- i am comfortable being close with my wife and kids because they know how i am and it has become something for us to laugh at and now we have fun with each of our peculiarities

[@julianaschreyer7865]

I would see this video every time I would search INTP. And I would always skip it because the word ‘loneliness’ in the title, I didn’t want to associate with it. But all today I felt loneliness. So I thought of this video. I’m glad I thought of this video. This video reminded me that I’m not the only one that thinks the way I do. And that it’s okay.

[@HYDRA979]

This exact situation happened to me today. I've been crushed recently and I decided to give this a watch, it helped.

[@WeedSmoker69]

man, i wish i could befriend an INTP. i'm fairly sure i fit mostly as an ENTP and i think most of my friends are ENTP as well. i don't have many real friends but, as arrogant as it may sound, i find it easy to befriend almost anyone i would like to (not most), other than the INTP. they just don't let you in; i find it most difficult to pinpoint what they're feeling because they're so awkward and well-thought. but your videos, i think have given me much insight into their general introspection. i think i must be more direct in my approach.

[@WeedSmoker69]

i'll add that my best friend, an ENTP, has a brother that i suspect to be an INTP. thanks to your videos, i will go and make a new friend that i have this newfound confidence on the matter. hopefully i don't make a fool of myself.

[@autolykos9822]

From my experience with the inside view of this, I'd say it's very hard to befriend us INTPs coming from the emotional side. We know that we suck badly at that kind of thing and instinctively avoid it. Many of us also had bad experiences with someone trying to trick, trap or manipulate us that way (something we *really* resent and can be quite paranoid about), so it may trigger bad memories. It's not impossible, though - I'm very good friends with an INFJ (guessing, I don't know for sure), and I'm continually amazed how good she is at knowing how I feel about something. I swear, she knows me better than I do. If you're not *that* good (likely if you're ENTP), that's not how you'd do it. To the ENTPs I'm friends with (none on a very deep level, though - sorry), I mostly connect over common, quite nerdy, interests. Usually our love for designing complex systems (building and grand strategy games), or improvising and thinking on our feet about tactical problems (pen&paper role playing games). Martial arts would also work pretty well, and has the advantage of being physical, so it gets us out of our head. Just don't hurry the emotional side. If you want to move on the emotional front, my best advice would be to be very direct (sensing that you're up to something without knowing what it is makes us nervous), but not confronting us when there's other people present (we *hate* being put on the spot with that kind of thing) and leaving us time to inspect our feelings and think of an answer (did I mention how we hate being put on the spot?). As strange as it sounds, I would actually prefer such a conversation via text message, since that gives me time to react. Face to face would be second favorite, telephone is *right out*. I don't know how much of that advice is specific to me, but that's how I think about it. I know we can be tough nuts to crack. Good luck!

[@WeedSmoker69]

duly noted. thanks, broski

[@Tyippe99]

the 'decay' is because when I get closer to people I'm scared they'll see my true colours beneath the Fe 'normal' facade i try to project, and I fear they'll reject me so I withdraw. But some of my close relationships have taught me that the right people will like you for you, and the ones who don't won't matter. I suppose INTPs don't handle rejection particularly well because we have trouble with Fe (or at least that's me)

[@jesusscott4656]

"My movie taste is pretty elitist.." :D Philosophical themes to fund abstraction are exactly what the INTP needs.

[@Moneyney-]

The one thing that helps me a lot when I feel disconnected or without emotions and feelings is music. I love been at home because is the only place no one expects me to be different.

[@zacharyhopbell7816]

Thank you, this is somthing that has really helped, and I really appreciated the way you explained the "wanting" of emotional contact, I know for myself and I think all INTP's it can be difficult to find the right words to explain things especially emotions.

[@anomaliterbawamati6373]

Probably I'm INFJ, but I deeply know how you feel (the INTP's loneliness experiences) about sort of "rejection", "isolation", and "being acclaimed by many people as a freak bookworm, radical mind, crazy theorist, wasted-time lousy dreamer, or master of the nerd clans". However, it's very strange, for me personally, those pitiful stereotypes always hitting into me, like I don't belong to any earthlings at all, I'm from the other planet, far faraway galaxy, alien who (try to) invades their conventional perspectives. Oh god, it irritates me so fuckin much!! Thus makes me feel very very hurt (both emotional and physical stages).

[@un1fy003]

Thank you Zach. Dropping gold on INTP's. It's not about people, it's about that emotional release., I'm actually going to the movies now. watching movies with philosophical themes, :) works all the time. I've also noticed (Like you said) how in social situations that the more shallow the relationship, the better the connection. But when it's time to just sit down and talk with someone, that good connection goes away. It's weird, and it become harder to express yourself.

[@Jharrisimages]

I'm 30 and I'm currently in year 4 of my isolation. I'm beginning to wonder if I've become a misanthrope, because the more solitary and withdrawn I get the more my social anxiety takes over and the harder it is for me to "get out there." I've also developed an irrational hostility towards people due to current events, both in my personal life and on a universal level, and I don't think I can stop. Also, I work as a night security guard so my human interaction has been VERY limited, over the last 6 months I've talked to maybe 5 people socially (meaning not my parents or store clerks) and all of those interactions were fairly limited.

[@Talkingwithfamouspeople]

Join us here for conversation anytime. Including right now: gtm.talkingwithfamouspeople.com You can lurk until comfortable. You'll like it. It's pleasant.

[@gillybuzz]

you're not alone dude, i'm into year 2 haha, i just quit work about 6 months ago and was completely isolated. let me just say, eventually you will get the urge to be social again. it just clicks and then you want to get out and about, you can't let the anxiety win. you're stronger than it and with each time you face it head on you will grow and become less susceptible to it.

[@gillybuzz]

just realised it was from 11 months ago, how's it going these days?

[@spectacular7990]

@@Talkingwithfamouspeople might of if not for the 404 error (two years late tho so yeah)

[@Ivellios23]

As an INTP I have a different experience regarding loneliness, much to the point that I've had no idea what it was. I've never had a yearning for social/emotional contact with anyone. I can go all year, and only see my family on Thanksgiving and Christmas, and I don't go because I want to be with everyone, I only go because it's expected of me. I prefer being alone. In fact, if I could be a hermit, I would be, but then I'd have to miss out on my favorite foods.

[@Edameda_mmori]

He just said what I've been thinking for a year.. And this is so great for me cuz I don't hear anyone around me talking about it. It's just me. And now I see someone else saying those things that I've been wasting my time on by thinking and thinking.. It's just weird. I'm not alone..

[@fergusbarnett6029]

"...cos you're a fucking INTP". Haha!

[@valarieg6712]

As an INTP do you find that "think" your feelings rather than "feel" them? I do that, but I don't know if that's just me or if that is an intrinsically INTP thing that I have never before realized was a shared commonality. Listening to this video made me wonder if it was more than just me as an individual. When I can tell that someone is looking to get an emotional response from me, it is beyond frustrating because all that I can typically offer is a series of ideas or thoughts to convey how I "feel" that rarely seem to match the level of passionate response that the other person is looking for. Like in arguments, I tend to just sit and be calm, which pisses a lot of people off, but I just don't feel the need to explode. (Arguments with INTPs are usually pretty calm, anyway, simply because we don't argue about things we're not pretty sure about, but you get what I mean.) Anyway, I would love to hear any insights that you guys might have.

[@Talkingwithfamouspeople]

Zach stops in occasionally still, but isn't around regularly as he once was. I'll try to address this topic in a video in the coming days. Thanks very much for watching and for taking the time to comment!

[@spectacular7990]

maybe just more aware of our feelings, like thinking/feeling = 9/1 ratio or less? Therefore more obvious to us once we do notice them?

[@lonerbeatnik]

Thank you for the video. I thought I was an INFJ but when I took the test I was an INTP and I think it is correct. I really agree with you that you cannot rely on others, I have always seen myself as an individual. Even in relationships I felt like a single person.

[@Moneyney-]

Thank you for your comment. It so happens to me that even when I talk about people I refer to them as "The humans" like I am not one. I always single myself out of everything. :(

[@lonerbeatnik]

Adriana Veliz I know what you mean... I feel like an alien a lot of the time. I get along with people fine and work in customer services helping people. It is just that I very rarely meet anyone that is on the same wavelength as me. I am torn between thinking that true connections don't exist or still being hopeful that I might meet someone I gel with. I will always believe that you can only rely on yourself. Even if I met someone, I'm not sure I would be any happier, I would probably panic and feel stressed :)

[@alexad5637]

INFP here. Ziach, these videos are beyond insightful and I hope you continue to share these inner philosophical thoughts- the world needs it. The more I learn about the INTP mind, the more I realize how similar INTP and INFP really are, and yet different enough where we can learn important things from each other about ourselves and the world. Everything you said about loneliness really struck a cord with me. It's insane that on a planet with over 7 billion people, every one of us feels some level of loneliness at certain points. The way you express yourself and the pithy and deliberation with which you qualify your thoughts is refreshing. I truly feel like INTP, INFP, and INFJ are the most philosophical types, and we need to share our thoughts and ideas with others. I have an INTP boyfriend, an INTP best friend, and an INTP dad, and I absolutely am fascinated by the way INTP minds work. I have learned so much from them and they have helped me develop my thinking, just as I have helped them with feeling. You have helped me understand my loved ones better and I thank you for that. Keep up the incredible work, you're truly helping and making a difference, at least in my life haha. :) If you ever have the time or inclination to do a video about INTPs in relationships, or how INTPs connect with INFPs and other Fi types, that would be amazing! And thank you so much again

[@johannaholton8400]

“People are not sources of significance but subsidizers of significance.” Great thought, verbalized in a really great way. I’m not an INTP (ENFP, for what that’s worth) but I’ve also had to come to learn that when I’m feeling my lonelinest it’s because I’m at actually at odds with myself but not admitting it to myself.... then looking for others to compensate for that inner disconnect (which is not possible). I know MBTI has limitations but these are nice videos for me to watch to understand other people’s differences and similarities to me. It’s easy to assume that everyone experiences life the same way, until one (ie. me) realizes that things can be quite different for different minds. Thank you for making good video content!

[@aleksbond47]

I don't have any friends or family at this point and I've basically never been more satisfied with life. Loneliness like other emotions comes and goes. It's better to have that than having imbeciles bringing you to their level.

[@Talkingwithfamouspeople]

This makes me concerned. We all need others. No one can be fulfilled in isolation. Join us for conversation. You're welcome, we want to talk with you, and we're smart people. -- Host Eric

[@Talkingwithfamouspeople]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/aKOmf2Cmj52mmac

[@davidwoodside3340]

This turned out way longer than expected but, you know... Dave is my name and Truth is my game! :D You are wrong, brother. but youre right! on the flipside...lol stay with me here... We are oceans, stuck in a world of puddles. We are living in a zombie apocalypse and some of us have formed safe zones, maybe formed a little town. But most of us are our on the roof every afternoon at 5 oclock, sending out radio calls in hopes of someone answering... and some of us never receive a life signal... some of us will live our whole lives in Zombie Land, being forced to blend in, to smear ourselves with blood and guts so they dont smell us... lest they be threatened by that which they cannot comprehened. Eric, be honest. You are either in denial, are not truly an "INTP," or have not Seen this yet... bro, you dont WANT closeness to these sheep. And why should you? Their love, while absolutely sincere, is not love. They dont love you. how the fuck are they supposed to love you if they cant even begin to comprehend that which you ARE, which is your MIND. They do not love you... they love what they see in you. they love their illusion of you. they love how THEY feel, they love how you fill THEIR need, how you make THEM happy... would you be happy in a dog pound surrounded by nothing but very lovable dogs? for a while, yeah. and i dont know about you, but i love dogs... such a pure, unconditional love. And, admittedly wildly out of proportion, its the same principle. These kind loving people do not understand us. we CANNOT be satisfied intellectually (which is our deepest need) from these narrow minds. They are blind slaves to the system, totally and completely at the mercy of their circumstance, completely oblivious to the strings that are moving them, and so FRUSTRATINGLY incapable of understanding that, the only fucking thing hurting them, is THEMSELVES. We are the intellectual elite, the MASTERMINDS of the human race, the next evolutionary step of human developement. Look into history... Einstein. Newton. Da Vinci. Tesla. Plank. Muhammed Ali. MLK. George Washington. Allan Watts. Socrates. Descarte. plato. buddha. We are not here to live in this world, we are here to change it. we are not to be moved, we are here to Move... we are not pawns, we are players. This is the Age of Englightment, the Information Age.... This is our time to shine! Now, take a step back... and calm your fucking ego. We are NOT "better" than ANYONE. These Sleepers are not even close to being dumb (with exceptions of course). They may even be, and most likely are extremely gifted in other regards, so far better than you in some that you feel clueless in some situations. Dont you dare, ever think, even for a moment, that you are some special little child of god that, psh, youre just too good for this world. LOOK AT ME! IM SMART! Shut up. No youre not. you SEE things clearly, you can THINK clearly, you can comprehend abstractions, we can draw connections, you see patterns, you can foresee logical outcomes that, to the narrow minds of society, will seem paranormal. Its funny, isnt it? even our simplest insights, like "okay, each closed box contains 1 apple. there are two boxes. therefore, there are 2 apples, because 1 and 1 is ALWAYS 2.." and everyone is just like "HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?! holy lawd jezus, its a mericle!" So no, its okay for us to be lonely, and we should not sink below that which makes us happy just because it is difficult to find that which we need. And honestly, stop being a bitch. Oh youre so lonely? poor thing. Grow up. You have no excuse for running. You KNOW, or at least should know by now, if you are honestly the intellectual you claim to be, that PAIN is a good thing. if something is causing you discomfort, you really only have two options. adapt reality to your petty little mind, or adapt your petty little mind to reality. The choice is obvious, isnt it? and yet this is actually one of the biggest things that society just cannot understand... all these fools trying to shove reality into their little heads.... lol. if loneliness is hurting you, you need embrace it. you need to LOVE this pain because you have no reason to despair... you are rare. you are special.... you can literally, honestly, live your life KNOWING you are just so far up there that no one can even see you anymore... lol. and also, this curse of loneliness (even though it CAN be soothed by other means) is giving you the blessing of an oppertunity to become your own best friend. to love yourself... fully and completely. and then you will never be alone... and paradoxically, once you love yourself, connecting with others will come naturally. and it is lonely, i know... this is the battle in my mind i am fighting right now, the monster i am learning to face. my whole life ive been chasing, seeking, looking, trying to climb up this latter. i was dumb, i knew nothing, and i was aware of that... but i wanted to know. and ive been climbing so long and ive finally reached and found so many answers i was looking for my whole life, that i turn around to tell someone and i realize... no one is here. im alone... the view is beyond words, but i have no one to share it with. back down on earth, everyone lives in these boxes they build and they have never been outside... their whole world is limited to these boxes and they have never even considered what or if there even is more to it... it was only yesterday that ive found out that, not only are there others like me (i knew of popular people, but never met someone) but there is an actual scientific term for it... lol. i always thought i was blinded by arrogance. i thought i was so full of myself that i was talking myself into being so much more vastly enlightened than the world. i even began to think i was losing my mind... my most precious possesion. and i had no one. no guidance. no understanding. no help... just me. ALL me. and I am All that i will ever need. We are all One. this whole universe is a single system, one machine, many parts. our minds are all essentially the same thing, eminating from the same thing. we seek and seek and run around looking and looking until.... we realize that what we are looking for is not apart from us. its a part of us. it is us. we begin to understand ourselves, our mind, the universe, people... existence. and any mind that is far enough along the path will eventually come to realize....

[@Iplaynfs1]

@@davidwoodside3340 First off, I read your entire essay, you seem like a schizo, your PROFOUND ideas simply come from a post Christian idea called New Age. Now, you should be a Christian, and you know you should be one, because these ideas that self is everything and we are all one, are just plain narcissism and have even less merit and basis in reality then any criticism you can place upon Christianity. DONT WORSHIP YOURSELF, it's just plain weird (and schizophrenic...)

[@treblestrings6263]

It's been 6 years, how are you now? Still no friends or fam?

[@nissamelton8597]

After I experienced a similar realization, I read and read...AND READ self help books on relationships. Finally I've realized that you can't do (or say) the wrong thing with the right ppl. I rarely cry, but when I do, it's often while watching a movie or Tony Robbins lol!! Also, reading Lao tzu helped me to accept myself for the beautiful perfect mess I am 👌

[@johnaddaquay1114]

I really needed to hear this

[@sarahseagrave7546]

You're great. I'm a lonely INTP and you made my day.

[@keroberos2781]

Dude, I've said the argument of "the only constant in all of this equation in creating bonds with others is myself. Therefore I'm to blame". word by word like you did. We're really quite the lonely bunch, aren't we?

[@martinprocrastor9778]

I've always been lonely (nothing to do with solitude, although I greatly prefer it), but it didn't bother me as much when I was much younger (like pre-twenties). Eventually depression started setting in as I found myself inable to determine why I was lonely, let alone what I could do to change this. Now, at nearly fifty, I have no (zero) romantic relationships under my belt, no contact with family (they seem to have given up on me), and no more then two friends in my life (only down to the fact that they're into music (I should say three but one doesn't know I don't consider him a friend)). Actually I don't think it wouldn't bother me that much if I never saw any of my friends or family again. The last couple of years I've grown more introverted, solitary, lonely and depressed, and it seems the pace is picking up fast which is upsetting as I feel it's enough already (I used to hope things would get better as I was growing older, but alas, quite the contrary). My life nowadays consists of work, going home to play my guitars, drink beer, smoke dope and think, and desperately avoiding all people. I've started to wonder what the point of (my) life, the universe and everything is anyway. I'm completely aware this is all down to me being who and what I am- why do I have to be SO damn introverted, and such a relentless procrastinator (which has caused me many emotional and financial problems). I've given up on romance (a while ago) but I could really do with someone to share the weird and wonderful things with that live inside my head, who can relate to me on some comparable level.I've been reading up on MBTI a lot (INTP in particular obviously), but what I've read about feelings and emotions confuses me no end as I don't understand the first thing about them, whether they're mine or someone else's (make no mistake; I have strong feelings and emotions (hey aren't those the same thing?)). I have however eventually come to one conclusion: to change me, I need to change something about me. I'm wondering, could it be something "simple" like developing Fe? Would you agree and if so, how could I go about this, maybe there's a particular video or article I should check out?By the way, I noticed you were playing with your pick. Funny, I was chewing on mine.

[@gillybuzz]

stop procrastinating. from now on when you think of something that would be good to do, needs to be done or if you want something to happen, do it straight away. trust me, i was in the exact same position but as soon as you stop over-analysing and start doing, the depression subsides and then things fall into place eventually. you have to be consistent though. a lapse in consistency is perfectly fine and normal but just keep going.

[@MrDyingMonkey]

funny enough thats what i started doing a year ago,, i was doing it before and was very happy but then i had a thing called psychosis that really fucked me up and i kinda lost it all,, but after i renewed some of my previous habits when it comes to people and loneliness i became happy again,, i dig what you talking about there and it works

[@Talkingwithfamouspeople]

Cool. There's nothing wrong with you. Thank you for noting that and attacking those who would commit ontological violence against you. kzbin.info/www/bejne/aKOmf2Cmj52mmac

[@busyazn]

4:44 the best way to view loneliness. 9:00 Not bad to engage in self nurturing. One of the rituals to engage in a similar process is to watch a movie with a philosophical theme. 9:40 Stop thinking. Be your own best friend.

[@curtdawg4560]

IDK if I'm just an exception to the rule but I'm the opposite with my relationships with people. My relationships all continuously fall apart from the get go until I have the time and am given a chance to build something. Once I start a bond with someone it's like we have the best friendship or relationahip in the world until there's a long period of space that's long enough to feel like strangers where the whole process starts over again. People usually hate me and don't know how to talk to me until they get a chance to understand me and then people typically love me

[@metasoap]

3:37 "Idea dancing." This.

[@spectacular7990]

In order to subside that feeling I want to go on and on here with others I think I can relate to but no, my mind cant settle with anything I think to type other than simple statements unless I ascertain a level of confidence in my text that only comes with re-reading editing and scrutinizing all of it as not to be misinterpreted. I believe this struggle to be the result of the many plot devices in shows and movies, even (personal) reality wherein complications arose because of simple misunderstandings. I might be alone in thinking that for someone who rationalizes everything logically to see/experience something that evokes a feeling based reaction feels overwhelming at fist (especially if it's experiencing something for the first time). I felt something (level of connection) to those I'd discovered who I thought and would like to continue to think of as overthinkers like myself, but then the wall goes up. More loneliness. Its not insane (or is it) to think people will jump on the 'OMG, that's so me'/'I can relate to all of that' just to fit in like putting on a mask to fit into social crowd; social, religious or political. Witnessing this from other INTP/personalty typing videos I question my own legitimacy and others not really knowing who can be truly trusted and am torn between a seance of excitement and suspicion. One way to be more sure is to evaluate that groups commitment to distinguish themselves through what they type and how they type it since here we have little more to go on and is partly why I've invested. I'll probably always be a little suspicious but it be stupid not to, this is the internet after all. I (like others) will invest into what I care about (finding plenty of reason to care about health I try to go to the gym) but can only do so much before exhausting from carefully crafting/examining all spelling and grammar for the sake of what, just to fit in. Its hard to see reason in overextending myself when I know the feelings going to subside sooner or latter anyway so I'll end it here and say its wonderful to fulfill the need to identify with (you?) those who can relate.

[@es.9997]

I feel like an alien

[@metasoap]

Fourth dimension is my happy place. :)

[@nayrking8]

I try to make myself feel at home while I reside in it

[@IdowuEsther]

There is a difference between being alone and lonely; loneliness is indulgent state of being, being alone is a state of existence. Putting people on a pedestal or creating an ideal character for them before you know them unquestionably causes disappointment once the real person is known.

[@cpakkala]

I think the main point of what you're trying to say has been succinctly said before as follows: there are no friends or enemies; there are only teachers

[@gatedude07]

Loneliness and solitude are different things. Loneliness, I think, comes from a lack of connection with a person. The cliche is you can be lonely in a crowded room. Even us introverts are social beings, and require some level of personal connection in order to be healthy.

[@kingjoeblack5]

I super appreciate the existence of this video.

[@josesandoval3122]

thank you man info was greatly needed

[@duskyracer8800]

If i put on a movie and do the cliche pop corn shit because im lonely that just makes me feel more lonely because im doing what lonely people do.

[@Talkingwithfamouspeople]

That sounds like ENTP thinking. --- Host Eric

[@duskyracer8800]

Talking with Famous People Id just look at my situation and go "well this is depressing" I get bored of most movies too. Im pretty sure im INTP but ill take a free test if you have one that you recommend.

[@Talkingwithfamouspeople]

Come on the show, I'll type you. It's all ages, and safe. I try to provide an affirming, inquisitive environment for all guests.

[@duskyracer8800]

That would be awesome. Contact my anytime.

[@jimmyscian7433]

Lost me at “don’t think about stuff for a while” like that’s an option

[@metasoap]

6:30 "Chill the fuck out, dude."

[@GVal-js3em]

It is interesting to see how by not being with the right people you feel lonely. But the problem here i dont think it's in the outside. If you are not being with the right people (definition of loneliness) then you are not being yourself and that's in my opinion the source of the feeling of loneliness. What if you dont have nobody to be with? As an intp i can say that it is difficult to meet people with the similar topic of interests, humor etc. And that force us to be with people that doesnt necessary understand us. An advantage is that with at least one or two people we can feel great. I believe that intps can easily find out who is not "worth it" of being with leading to less unnecessary relationships that would make an intp feel lonely.

[@JoelDjuel]

Thank you. I really need to be better friends with myself

[@fergusbarnett6029]

5:48 agree. Find no one else I know ever agrees with this but it seems entirely rational to me

[@enem2823]

I don't think it's wrong to self nurture , but don't just conform to one point of view , Good video over all . I usually do art and reflect on my current stage or situation and meditate on what i need to improve .

[@robfrank1130]

That was really bloody helpful. Thank you.

[@fergusbarnett6029]

3:40 - so true

[@TheRivensongInitiative]

As an INFJ, I identified with everything you expressed. Also...I find you very attractive. :)

[@tlr9403]

love you man (you're not the only movie elitist here :D )

[@itsbrettyo]

I think individuality is an illusion, because energy is the only constant. We are essentially all the same energy(consciousness), and our bodies are vessels of illusion made up vibrations of energy, which makes our deluded perception of individuality. We(energy) in theory created the INTP(illusion). A lonely creature who just wants to be understood. We are the directors of our own sad twisted reality.. A sad dose of irony..

[@winter-i-i]

I love this. Great channel :D

[@Talkingwithfamouspeople]

glad you like it you should check out our forum at forum.talkingwithfamouspeople.com ~FP Tiff

[@spark300c]

it you. a bond should get easier to maintain as get to know person because rely more ne than fe to make that person happy. fe just colors the data with emotion help to make judgments on emotion.

[@highfrequency8234]

Are you the son of that mbti policeman who keeps putting mis-typed people in the slammer? Who are you?

[@horsemumbler1]

10:33 *Whistles in the dark*

[@melikamelikaii402]

thats right im intp too;)

[@welilen]

Thank you

[@luxpun9033]

Which 'philosohpical' films would you highly recommend to a fellow INTP who's lonely too? Cheers :)

[@Talkingwithfamouspeople]

Lots and lots of TwFP ;-) - Host Eric

[@luxpun9033]

after watching more than 30 TwFP videos, I feel like watching black and white soviet era films without subtitles.

[@nayrking8]

*Some films I would recommend that have philosophical themes to them:* _The Seventh Seal_ _No Country For Old Men_ _Wild Strawberries_ _Metropolis_ _Apocalypse Now_ _Boyhood_ (debated listing this one, it is existential in subtext) _The Matrix Trilogy_ (debated listing as well, no doubt some questions concerning "reality") *Some films I would recommend based on nothing but my own personal taste I want to share with others (this includes the above as well):* _Taxi Driver_ _Eyes Wide Shut_ _There Will Be Blood_ _Interstellar_ _Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind_ _Donnie Darko_ I would consider all of these movies to be pretty top tier, favorites being _Eyes Wide Shut_, _No Country For Old Men_, and _There Will Be Blood_. Let me know your thoughts if you watch any of them!

[@luxpun9033]

There's much overlap in the films we appreciate (Ingmar Bergman, Kubrick, and there will be blood). I will look for No country for old men ASAP. You might like Tarkovsky's The Stalker.

[@nayrking8]

I've been meaning to watch Tarkovsky's Solaris as well. I'll get around to watching them both soon.

[@horsemumbler1]

6:30 What if that is what I do for myself?

[@ichorous7434]

that single disliker is lonely

[@soundvector1]

Can I speak to this guy talking with famous people what's your nickname real name? :) This is not you right man? Just a user experience.

[@Talkingwithfamouspeople]

I'm Host Eric. The Maker of this video is Host Zach. Famous Person Tiffany has begun uploading videos here. So TwFP is all of us, but I'm probably he whom you seek.

[@Talkingwithfamouspeople]

yo lets talk - wats yer sched?

[@soundvector1]

Talking with Famous People I can try tomorrow morning right now it's 10:52 PM would you like to add me on Facebook? :) facebook.com/profile.php?id=100004743783202

[@Talkingwithfamouspeople]

Cool. I have sent you a friend request on Facebook.

[@soundvector1]

Talking with Famous People :)

[@professorrubickmagusgrandi7909]

10:32

[@awkwardzoltar3529]

So of course the INTP answer is simple and also just solve it yourself. I only joke it is still helpful advice.