Invents a device to talk to cats

[@JeaneyCollects]

Cat: **Meows** Translation: Kind sir, I require your finest catnip! Post-haste!

[@alpho789]

NOOOO YOU’RE JUST FUELING HIS ADDICTIOOOOON

[@404Errored]

So...that guys dead now right the moment he decided not to feed him?

[@evankim2406]

In this economy?

[@Anime-Control]

Perchance?

[@charcoal5495]

@@alpho789 maybe it's for medical uses....

[@coolskeleton2674]

If I had a translator like that, I wouldn't have told my cat for about a week. I want to know what they actually think about me, while they don't know I understand them

[@gitsurfer27]

200 IQ move

[@SarahAbramova]

What would you do if they didn't like you?

[@Casterborous]

okay but then it'll be like those squirrels they'll notice you looking at them weird when they call you a twat

[@eomin]

​@@SarahAbramova Take the receipt and use it to exchange for a better cat.

[@TH-bj1pb]

​@@SarahAbramovauhm take it out behind the garage?

[@JWhitePWC]

cat: and second of all...can i have some wet food please..?

[@Asiliea]

Correction: "I DEMAND THE WET FOOD NOW. I DON'T CARE THAT ITS ONLY BEEN TWENTY MINUTES"

[@gladoseon4117]

@@Asilieatwenty minutes? That’s the worlds most patient cat

[@supasunotchi3355]

Most likely accurate.

[@beesareeverywhere]

dear lord they can SPEAK now.

[@problematicspaghettios]

"THEY SPEAK NOW?!" "They speak now!"

[@Mark73]

That's the cats saying that, of course.

[@KindlyKalen]

**They say, looking upon the eldritch being with 2 eyes, a gaping maw under 2 holes, 2 tentacles detached from their bodies which have even more tentacles attached, and 2 more tentacles also detaching from their bodies which also have 2 more tentacles, 2 spirals on the sides of their heads, a mass of weird strings coming out of their head that twist and turn in different lengths.**

[@SpaceWolfHudson]

They can speak meow.

[@dard2240]

If translater would invented, my cat would just start with the last phrase right away.

[@theresahaironthescreen]

"Oh, so that tree thing is for me to scratch? No, fuck that. The couch is better."

[@aceofspades8474]

My cat’s favorite scratching post is doorframes, mine specifically. The only time I’ve ever seen her scratch her scratching post was when she scratched at the base of it that isn’t meant for scratching.

[@UserAccount-ThisOne]

@@aceofspades8474 cats do be like that, i swear even though people can say its their instinct and they dont know any better its REALLY hard to believe cats do things we dont want them to do for any other reason than to simply fuck with us.

[@Maxwell4Smash]

(Translates cat) Cat: (Demonic chanting) Person: "Ah, so that's what cats have been saying this whole time

[@helenanilsson5666]

The funny thing is, when I did get my cat buttons that I recorded words on, she didn't actually ask for food that much. More than anything else she wanted to play with her feather toy, and if she asked for food it was usually by asking for the hollow mouse food toy that she could wrestle food out of, or her food puzzle. She will definitely comfort eat until she's sick if she's given food though, and given her state of obesity I think her previous owner assumed that she only wanted food all the time while she was actually just bored out of her mind and desperate for stimulation.

[@MissDucklingQueen]

poor thing, glad she has soemone who understands her now ♥

[@SomeCanine]

10% of bowl missing food Cat: "I require sustenance sir. I am starving."

[@Brass319]

Wouldn't work on my cats, because it is implied to require them to have thoughts that they can express, which in turn requires them to have thoughts

[@manicfreeman8861]

One of mine just sits and stares at the wall for hours without moving I'm pretty sure she's got a dial up noise for a brain

[@Sepherina]

Orange cat owner ?

[@Brass319]

@@Sepherina No, but that doesn't stop them

[@RakastanPorkkanakakkua]

ur cats must be dumb as hell

[@ElementalAer]

My cat has thoughts (she's is strangely intelligent), but... It's all body language, so a translator would be useless anyway.

[@arifhossain9751]

those cats with the buttons been real quiet since this dropped.

[@leeshajoi]

Apparently the companies that make those buttons recommend against making a button that says "food," because the cats will never NOT be pressing that button.

[@HomRz_bŮTTe]

*mao*

[@HomRz_bŮTTe]

*Madmao?*

[@HomRz_bŮTTe]

*sleebys sheeby mao mao*

[@yossithe9031]

​@@HomRz_bŮTTe For real.

[@Jin-vm8sh]

I like how the human needs a device to understand what the cat is saying but the cat can understand human speech just fine

[@Magrijack]

I think you got the joke backwards. The human knew what the cat was saying. The device was to make the cat understand that it can’t have what it wants so it will shut up.

[@miyawedaplayer1237]

The device is a device to talk to cats, not necessarily a one-way cat translator but could be implying it works both ways :)

[@ViviBuchlaw]

Cats understand most of what theyve been exposed to, they just choose to ignore it

[@averywhitaker3513]

​@@miyawedaplayer1237 "device to talk to cats" The "talk to" portion is actually explicitly one way. A two way version could be expressed by "talk with"

[@Impositivelygay]

My youngest cat would just be requesting me to go play tag with her like an annoying toddler because shes having zoomies all the time and once shed realize i understand her language itd be over

[@SariaSchala]

I once told my mom I would love to be able to text my cat but Mom said she'd just keep texting me to come home, and that is accurate

[@SariaSchala]

My cat: Never leave the house again, please! Me: But I have to go to work so I can earn money to buy your food! My cat: Then why do you go anywhere that isn't work? Me: Um...because other places don't allow cats...plus you hate car rides... My cat: DON'T LEAVE! Me: ...

[@gustavgnoettgen]

Or imagine the cat is meowing all the time, and you finish you machine and turn it on, and the cat just stares at you and eventually cleans itself ignorantly.

[@hanifarroisimukhlis5989]

Father, give me tuna. I have travelled across the ceiling only to find rats, bugs, and scraps.

[@creatorglitch]

stray is this but u can't understand the cat. the cat only understands u.

[@daemonburns-waight2421]

'Second of all, _I_ allow you to live with _me_ !'

[@8yeetus8]

"First of all, fuck you" KILLED ME 😂😂😂😂😂

[@CommisarHood]

Kindof surprise the cat didn't open with "First of all fuck you"

[@ArtemisWasHere]

Dog person spotted

[@jaspyjiindust.9227]

Me too and Artemis you got laser eyes! 😂

[@CommisarHood]

​@@ArtemisWasHere I've actually love both at one point I had three dogs and two cats at the same time. I'm just well aware of the difference in how animals treats their relationships with humans. Dogs: I will love you and protect you forever as long as you pet me and take me on walkies. Cats: If you agree to feed me, house me, clean up after me and never attempt to give me affection unless I ask for it I will tolerate you.

[@HomRz_bŮTTe]

*what happen when its that the 2 wolves inside of u?* *What if one is a cat?* *Like the loony moony critter creature moon in or near homestead, BuryduryBurydura, MI, BC (short for British Columbo! The pidgee Otto!!!! The car not the monkey man? The lil ginger blue kid with the glasses... *a third of the time squad?*

[@ArtemisWasHere]

@@CommisarHood we have had very different experiences with cats

[@knorke3549]

Alternatively, the cat might just say "meow". Literally. I would not be surprised.

[@bingusbongus9807]

if my cats could talk they would say "i love yoy thank you for saving us MMMMMMMMM" the mmm is the purring when they are snugging me all the time

[@NikkiBdraws]

I have this conversation with my cats every day.

[@RandomDude1487]

More realistic version: “Oh finally, you understand now. I keep meowing when my food is half empty because I feel safe around you. And sometimes because I want wet fo-“ *gunshot noises*

[@enorma29]

people don't be adopting any cats since the catlator 9000 dropped

[@joliealbury6936]

Let's be real, if cats could talk to us they wouldn't.

[@JouvaMoufette]

Literally at Midwest Furfest right now. I've been talking to cats all weekend. This guy's just catching up.

[@Solanum_Proto]

how many cats are there

[@JouvaMoufette]

@Solanum_Proto all of them

[@Solanum_Proto]

@@JouvaMoufette that's a lot of cats

[@generalrubbish9513]

Have you asked their opinion on proper wet food distribution?

[@ZiaSatazaki]

fancy meeting you here~

[@vesterblue4227]

Imagine having to argue with cats even more for everything they want

[@KitsukiiPlays]

Father, I require! Provide!

[@Mystixor]

Cat : And that's the human I granted permission to live in my home for all this time...

[@ImFangzBro]

"No, I totally get it. Problem is the wet food's highway robbery. I don't like it either."

[@Juanserinde]

"First of all, Meow you. Second of all, You are not a good mowner"

[@damlatorun6756]

“For the last time, I don’t care about that weird ass tree in the corner, I’m going to scratch the couch and rug instead!”

[@mallardish1764]

Finally I can discuss with my cat all the hows and whys she is a stinky little baby

[@Ventrolo]

Imagine executing the rake firing-squad style with your friends 💀 can’t wait for post launch but will 100% play beforehand

[@earthboundisawsome]

I'm positive my cat would tell me that stopping the pets and scratches for 0.5 seconds to do literally anything is a cardinal sin, and that I'm going to the special section of feline hell for negligent humans.

[@sleebs7814]

We've finally reached bluesky shitpost voice overs, we're truly evolving from twitter

[@_forg_]

One step towards clearing the harkness test

[@BabanDlh]

Good cat depiction

[@supasunotchi3355]

What was with the ding sound? Toaster?

[@nobbyfirefly57]

I misread it as “a device to walk cats”

[@asifiqbal1117]

Orange cat comes along: *Obama-Keegan subtitle appears*

[@AlexWillging]

But what about an invention that finally lets spiders talk with cats?

[@Badficwriter]

....

[@Stolen_skeleton_tf2]

My would cat probably say: Verdammt, du bist so ein Idiot Nothing more ... why on German? Because somehow he understands me while I speak it

[@occidziggys9496]

very realistic 👍

[@brandondowns5634]

Me: *pulls out water gun*

[@vi5692]

Inaccurate, the cat would’ve started with the “fuck you” just cause

[@marcocappelli5124]

That invention would only benefit cats. Now the Master could speak in the Servant's tongue.

[@thediamondking1999]

Wait till catnip

[@matthewtalbot-paine7977]

It's wet food and then strokes or if you have a system where they cannot go outside at certain times then it's open the damn window.

[@soloshottie]

if we made a translator to talk to cats, their first words would be "good human. now you can better do my biddings"

[@small.clover]

BLUESKY MEMES

[@HoopsAficionado]

The cats yearn for wet food.

[@Eis_]

As a cat whisperer, it's inaccurate. Cats would always start with "First of all, Fuck You".

[@DanielKolbin]

Ah

[@sketchyskies8531]

Lol

[@kciref6016]

Is that a chill, instrumental version of My War from Attack on Titan?

[@Sylvarvar]

Stolas?

[@SarahAbramova]

According to other commenters, they apparently have no self control when it comes to wet food.

[@johntheux9238]

Dry food last longer. It's not like I'm gonna clean your bowl every day who do you think you are?

[@Badficwriter]

I have separate bowl for wet food. Yes, I clean it before giving her more, every time. Its china, so its easier than the plastic bowl that holds her dry food. Part of the reasoning is to make a production of it, giving her a portion of wet food as a treat for taking medicine.

[@TearfulZorua]

Funny thing, it wouldnt translate the meows since cats dont use meows to communicate amongst other cats. The meow is something they only do to attempt communication with us. its pretty much the closest they can get to adapting our speech. Usually with other cats they utilize body language, growls/hissing, and scents for communication. We dont pick up on its meaning most of the time, thus they meow to get out attention and try to convey their message whatever it may be. Based on those videos where theyve taught cats to use prerecorded audio buttons to communicate, they have more to say than just begging for food. They'll complain about the weather, ask to be let outside, wonder about loud sounds, wonder the location of family members, ask for help setting up their toys, request specific meals, discuss when they plan to do something or when someone may return, express happiness, gratitude, and even acknowledge accidental button presses, as well as pleanty of other stuff that we do on a regular amongst ourselves but just cant understand cats. Much more intelligent than people actually give them credit for. Heck the meow of each cat is different from person to person, and the cats that use the buttons dont meow as much unless the buttons break. Though, i cant say this is 100% the case since its a mix mash of things ive either witnessed, watched videos on, or read in books a while back, i do think its best to give the fluffy critters a bit more credit. Plus wouldnt you start yelling at a large being and get annoyed when they grumble something and toss a third chicken leg at you? (Referring to people who say their cats are always hungry, proceed to fill their bowls and the cats refuse to eat it. You know, there are so many other things that could be on their mind. Boredom, needing a clean litterpan, desiring attention, ect. I would still get annoyed after a while, if a being decided any noise i made meant i wanted a cookie. Like "bro, i love cookies, but dawg thats not what i want yo. Give me car rides or something, but not another cookie jeez.")

[@levonflodqvist]

what was second of all ?

[@virtuallyreal5849]

Please give me wet food

[@AverageCoalEntheusiast]

Moew

[@astralmarmaux]

hi

[@estrawitch]

u don't need a device to talk to some cats meow mrrp mrrp nyaa :3

[@8yeetus8]

Best comment

[@uchuujin]

delete your comment now

[@8yeetus8]

@@uchuujin antifurry?

[@Ridermeduza]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@AAAEA010]

Why can’t they have it whenever they want? Is it a health thing or because they’re expensive?

[@R0-83-RT]

As someone who doesn't own a cat, I'm wondering the same thing?

[@leeshajoi]

Because if left to their own devices they will never stop eating.

[@dragonwithamonocle]

It's perfectly acceptable for cats to have wet food at every meal - preferable even. But they'll beg for it all day and night and they can't have food all day every day the same way we can't. It's just portion size, not anything to do with wet food in particular.

[@Badficwriter]

My cat will eat everything placed before her, then throw the excess up. Afterward, she will cry for more food.

[@GreedyOrange]

jokes aside, dry food is really bad for their kidneys, never hook them on dry food,i know this for a fact,found out the hard way, they dont care,and they want it,so dont start that shit

[@Azpilzi]

kk

[@LoveJesusOfNazareth]

Turn your life to Christ.

[@Apeiron242]

Bluesky... Twitter for cowards.

[@katsuover]

Correction: Bluesky - Twitter, for people who hate discourse as much as I do