Why do we wait to hit rock bottom to heal?

[@iamlaurablush]

Yes, I have been in functional freeze my whole life. I have been living in a state of survival since childhood. Now, I am at rock bottom with severe illness/chronic as well as neurodegenerative issues. I am aware of how much is stored in my system. At this point, I am doing my best to slowly release without overwhelming my system.

[@michalawolfova5564]

could not relate more

[@akapatience5571]

Same. I would love to know someone else IRL dealing with the same❤

[@elisabethwyndaele5912]

❤❤stay strong please

[@elisabethwyndaele5912]

@@akapatience5571❤

[@iamlaurablush]

@@elisabethwyndaele5912 I am. I believe anything is possible and that we can heal no matter what. 🙏🏼

[@lookin4answers]

Beyond it being difficult/ uncomfortable, one word for why we procrastinate: hope. Or lack there of. If we dont have it, its very hard to move towards and through work thats painful. For many of us, we've no 'proof' from our lifetimes, and those before us, that better is possible. We have to use our imagination to bring hope to life and trust that, just because we havent experienced it, doesnt mean it doesnt exsist. I know this is my greatest barrier. Heres to more hope 🌎

[@rachelsweets]

Well said ♥️♥️♥️

[@avagrejon0413]

Yes I waited until completely at rock bottom, I knew if I didn't do something to change I most likely wouldn't be here today. We all get too comfortable to change. It's until the pain of staying the same exceeds the pain of change. I had to connect to my soul at the end. Thank you Irene you have been saving my life❤

[@sonjacillie1534]

Such a timely video. Found your work almost 7 years ago and I believe it has saved me from hitting rock bottom for sure. It is not always easy to keep going but I am convinced 100% that it has been worth every minute. I have overcome migraines and depression. I've gone deep into traumas and transgenerational traumas. Irene is right, maybe if I knew beforehand what i would find I would not have done it BUT then I also know that's not true. I felt broken and different since I was in kindergarten and there was always a part that wanted to get to the bottom and other parts were too scared. I suppose when the time is right one makes the leap. And unfortunately I have seen people close to me, even younger than me get very ill, unable to turn it around, knowing that it was the unresolved traumas or stored up survival stress that got them ill. Not my words, but theirs. The skills learned here ARE changing my daughter's FUTURE. When I make choices not from fear, when I can stay with my fears instead of projecting it onto her I am changing a lot about her future. When I look in the rear view mirror I see how much work I have been doing and that it has been worth every step. Once you start on this journey you can never go back to the way it was before, even during times when it's hard. I

[@erstwhile3793]

I have known something was amiss within my system pretty much my whole life, and have been seeking help this whole time, in various ways, according to my opportunities and abilities. I’ve worked with everything from religion to conventional counseling therapies, to holistic modalities, to self-help practices. A lot of it was helpful to a point. But none of it ever quite reached the “something” I could sense was at the base of it all. Until I came across Irene’s videos and then her SBSM program. After 2-3 yrs of working in a very titrated way with SBSM, and seeing some things improve for the first time, and at a depth I’ve never before experienced, I’ve come to a point where I’m finally in a safe environment, and NOW is when I find myself unable to engage. Hoping this is a lull, not a full-stop situation. I suspect it is, based on what I’ve learned from SBSM. My system is absorbing and integrating some major shifts inside and outside.

[@lookin4answers]

Thank you for sharing your story. I'm new to the program and did too much too fast (didn't realize it as I went from feeling nothing to everything) and I too am struggling to engage. Glad to hear you're in a safe space at least, and hope things shift for you soon so you can go deeper. All the best

@@lookin4answersI just completed the 2nd round of SBSM and found a huge difference in myself between the two. I feel much more embodied.

[@Els-ku9np]

That sounds familiar. I am also stuck and at the same time it feels like I am integrating a lot. It's like I surrendered and now I have to wait for the process to complete itself. Like baking breed. You put all the ingredients in, you do the preperations, put it in the oven and then you wait, in good confidence that it will give a result.

[@MinnaMrt2958]

Hi and thanks for sharing your experiences. I just want to put it out there, for anyone who reads, that we can always post questions to the team members at the course site, issues like this included. And there is no payment required after the entry fee, it really is a lifetime access thing, although that sounds too good to be true.

[@GinaK12]

Yes! Thank you! It seems overwhelming because I know it spans decades.

[@SavannahE1972]

I am making a walk in the first sun of this year and decided to listen to your 'new year' teaching. I am half way through and am so happy that I started to listen. Again it's full of insights and important knowledge about how important it is to help your nervous system get regulated to REALLY HEAL instead of temporary feeling better. Thank you for this powerful video. I feel so blessed that I came across the nervous system knowledge and started to work with it! My wish for 2025 and further on is that everyone will become aware of this extremely important 'stuff'!! I will continue my nervous system journey for sure. 🤩😃 With love & gratitude from the Netherlands, Savannah 🤗🙏🏼

[@andreasandor8165]

Thank you for sharing as always hit the spot. I really struggle to connect to my environment because I live in a different country & city where I grew up in not because I want to but difficult life circumstances. And I have been trying and trying to do the orientation exercise and I hate it so much. Every time I slightly connect to my environment to these ppl who doesn't even speak my language eventhough I speak theirs perfectly. I get sick. Every time. I watched your video on how to heal in a toxic environment literally 100 times. Spending Christmas alone again was a huge trigger for me I went into to" do" Christmas season mindfully knowing it's painful to spend it alone ( as I have toxic family so chose not to go visit them excuse the flight ticket is expensive as they live in a different country) and I tried to connect to the Christmas celebrations in this foreign country I am forced to live but I got sick. It didn't work. So resonate with putting on some aspects of this healing work cause I don't know how to connect to a toxic environment I am forced to live in.

[@monikapudlis4963]

I trully appreciate your work and I am thankful that You underline that what we do with our nervous system and the effort we put into it to regulate it, gives greater chance to improve also next generations living

[@anniemccully6127]

I appreciate this reminder to keep moving forward. It helps to remember this when I find myself in the midst of a PTSD episode and work on moving the pain through and out of my body. ✌️

[@sonjacillie1534]

"Moving the pain through and out of the body" - love how you phrased that. I believe the same about this work. It allows us to grow the capacity to be with it, feel it, let it it move through and out. That is the work.

[@stefmay7393]

This is so true! We all have some level of dissociation from trauma, so deep down somewhere, we all know what is lurking in our system.

[@celestemichelleevans]

Thank you for this video. It's pointing me in the right direction to keep on healing 💞

[@sidilidili]

There were a lot of really helpful things in this so thank you ♥️♥️♥️

[@joannesandaker1781]

Love the videos! Keep them going, please!

[@LlamaM2288]

5:59 yesss!!! Specifically because when I do do this work for any relatively consistent period of time, the feelings that come out make me feel like I'm gonna die or have a heart attack god forbid (every doctor has told me they're just panic attacks and anxiety which is true). Also, this work is so damn confusing still! After the hundreds of videos I've watched here, it's still confusing and I don't know when too much is too much and what's "okay". Not to mention I still live in a relatively toxic environment and I also take Ativan every day just to fall asleep

[@BrentBaity]

You are in a tight spot. I know because everything you've described fits me as well. I share to offer support. I'm skeptical at times but I'm still here. There's a saying, don't quit five minutes before the miracle happens. I'm encouraging you to not give up.

[@lookin4answers]

Hmm good to hear I'm not the only one. So true. It's hard to have the discernment to know what's best when direction is elusive & we don't have the best internal awareness from much dystegulation & freeze. Best of luck to you, really hope something shifts for the better soon

[@sundrives]

I'm in the same boat, even the ativan part, though I had to stop it a few years ago after about 3 years of needing it to sleep at all. I also never feel safe so knowing where to start is so overwhelming.

[@BrentBaity]

Look, we're all friends here. I was sitting outside having a smoke when it dawned on me that my behavior is changing. And I'm developing what I call peripheral vision where I catch myself, pause and at a glance see something ( I'm using very general terms ) like maybe what Eckhart Tollé would call observing the observer. Live in the present moment. My neighbors whom I normally avoid because it's safe, I'm practicing orientation. Building capacity. Others around me are responding with less offensive behavior and they seem less afraid. Taking the time, a pause if you will. Listening and without an ulterior motive. Being able to see myself peripheral like that was strange at first but the advantage is an awakening. When I self-talk I can be my own witness, that I'm not bad. Maybe I've used others in the past but here in the present moment look! I'm not that bad! And the panic. My body is probably near a Dorsal Vagal shutdown and I panic! Yes, I am an alcoholic/ addict. I am a veteran and certainly I do have diagnoses'. Let's say I've lived to tell about it. By following a few instructions. Start with one video. The ABC'S & 123’s one. I watched it five times. Take notes as if in class. Can't yet budget the paid curriculum? There we wouldn't be watching 100's of videos. Our focus, our attention with intention will be on one thing, one breath, one moment at a time and the mind will follow. We may find Presence where we'll find that Power Greater than ourselves. It is my hope to create a community here. Chat, exchange ideas. Thank you for your support. Brent

[@LlamaM2288]

@@sundrives how did you get off it? What do you use to sleep now?

[@lauriemtz8616]

As I’m starting to watch this video I’m tearing up with anxiety

[@akapatience5571]

I started this work years ago and had to take a break, now I feel like I'm dragging my feet getting back into it but at the same time, I'm not feeling capable of understanding much right now...I'm so numb.

[@IreneLyon]

@akapatience5571, Jen here from Irene's Team. I get how it can be tough to re-engage with this work, especially when it's tough to understand things. Sometimes it can help to pick just one small thing and focus on that for a while. Many people have done that with this free resource of Irene's: 4 Simple Steps to Calm Overwhelm... - irenelyon.com/4-steps-to-calm-overwhelm/

[@ellie3246]

I just learned of the book The Eden Project two days ago while casually surfing Goodreads, and I knew I have to read it. Now you’re mentioning it here - I think I’m onto something

[@purezea]

Thank you for your amazing work 🎉

[@sundrives]

I'm someone who has bought your courses and can't start. I always have a million reasons why, but they're all really just total overwhelm. The fear is visceral and not really intellectual. I know how much I need to jump in and start but it *feels* like standing in front of a guillotine trying to make myself put my head in, even though I know it's the opposite.

[@lauriecrosby2906]

I've felt some of that as well. Baby steps. I'm moving through the courses slowly and taking time to process.

[@sundrives]

@@lauriecrosby2906 I actually did a sort of false start shortly after getting the courses and couldn't believe how much better I felt immediately, just feeling like I had a body again after years of shutdown. Then a few days later my protection dog died and the grief spiral was so awful I couldn't do anything at all at that point. That was Oct 2023… I'm going to start again this month, current circumstances be damned. I'm so low-functioning now that I don't think focusing energy on healing could take away from my responsibilities. I don't think this is rock bottom because there is always lower to fall, but "point of diminishing returns" works as a marker to start.

[@LALALA-k9o]

Just tell yourself that you’re only going to do 5 minutes and then you have the option to stop. You’ll probably keep going.

[@IreneLyon]

@sundrives, Jen here from Team Lyon. You're definitely not alone in this. When things seems really big, often we need to go really small (think micro steps). If you're open to it, I encourage you to log into the 21 Day Nervous System Tune Up and ask this question in there. That way we can offer some ideas related to the course content you have access to.

[@sundrives]

@@IreneLyon Thank you, I think I'll do that this weekend and get started. 💕

[@kmkeenan]

My fear isn't starting. It's what if I didn't start soon enough.

[@S_w_e_e_tlo]

It’s never too late to

[@sharang747]

So start.

[@MinnaMrt2958]

There are people in their 60’s, 70’s and 80’s on the courses 👍

[@kmkeenan]

@sharang747 I did

[@IreneLyon]

@kmkeenan, I hear you. We can always (and only) start where where we are. Sometimes it can help to look at year out (or more), and imagine that we are living with the benefits of having taking this new step. - Jen from Irene's Team PS this blog of Irene's came to mind: irenelyon.com/2018/09/30/9-benefits-nervoussystem-regulated/

[@KebaabetswePhithi]

❤ when you get first talk on our TV, IT WAS A a really want wonder for me, maybe for others too. The bubonic system failure. And we had to download your stuff.mmm, maze runner, the movie..I feel this things, and Old schy, archy stuff, I want to see... that is inner personal health 😅

[@angelanieves4792]

Thank you💯.

[@holistic_meg_]

Hi Irene when you say about wanting to do it when your in chronic pain or developed health conditions it's too late. Does that mean when you have got chronic health conditions that's it, you can't do anything? I'm curious about mental health conditions (bipolar/anxiety etc) is that because it's too late to work with the nervous system?

[@IreneLyon]

@holistic_meg_, Jen here from Irene's Team. Many of Irene's students come to the work with a chronic condition (mental, physical, or both) and find that the work is very helpful. It's not uncommon for symptoms to lessen or dissipate completely. In short, definitely not too late! I'll link to an interview that Irene did with Darla, a long time student, in case you want to hear from a student who's been on this path for a while. From Nervous System Breakdown to Radical Healing :Darla's Story - kzbin.info/www/bejne/rnu4o56ph8t8rq8

[@brittneywelch2186]

What about if you are on an SSRI that doesnt seem to work?

[@BrentBaity]

Is fear an emotion or would we say, more of a state of being? I'm thinking about functional freeze here. Last night while in a 12 step meeting I was sharing how I enjoy listening to others and feeling my emotions. I feel empathy and elation. The part I enjoy most is the thought that I am no longer that selfish, self-centered person described in the book. Now, to me this seems different. A different feeling. (Edited, A different thought/ feeling. CBT teaches thoughts proceed emotion which in turn produces the energy for action. They use the word emotion. Maybe but not necessarily the same as my description of having enjoyed the empathy and the elated feelings/ emotions felt which listening to others, but. No, I can't lie. I became disturbed last night while listening to one individual. Caught myself, my self talk. Wasn't pretty, but Irene would suggest that I do it consciously. This is exhausting work). One called a somatic experience and the other emotion. Ok, let's try again. I'm wearing my boots and jeans. They give me confidence. I say to myself, these feel good. " Don't the boots and jeans feel good physically or is my communication inaccurate..." hmm. I'm reaching here.

[@BrentBaity]

When I hear a sound that startles me, and I feel the chemicals rush to my brain, is this emotion or a somatic experience? I call this feeling, fight or flight and refer to it as an experience. Not a typical emotion. The language, is key.

[@BrentBaity]

Now the word sincerity comes to mind. I'm exploring here. Self awareness and self honesty, self accuracy I will say also come to mind. I'm considering the language and how language works and is key.

[@BrentBaity]

Mood? Emotion or state of being?

[@BrentBaity]

Anticipation, emotion or state of being?

[@BrentBaity]

Interoception. There are advantages to the KZbin suggestion committee lol. There's a video which explains for me of course... I'm separating and labeling here, sort of setting up office. Thanks Irene, and I'm sure Jenn is here as well.

[@elisabethwyndaele5912]

I cannot sleep very well . He have feeling of drawling in the void

[@IreneLyon]

@elisabethwyndaele5912, not sleeping well can be challenging for sure. Working with the nervous system can often be really helpful in improving sleep quality over time. Some people have found the quantum and circadian biology practices to be quite helpful with sleep too. I'll share a few links in case you'd like to learn more. - Jen from Team Lyon Why Can't I Sleep? - irenelyon.com/2020/05/24/why-cant-i-sleep/ Circadian & Quantum Biology Playlist - kzbin.info/www/bejne/iZDEg4WbpbuEpa8

[@KebaabetswePhithi]

❤I like doing the work,it's has been a thing I kind of, it's awoken my alerts, interested my physical me and I like to balance and it's working good.. online 👍😀🛌

[@Ross_Embossed]

@lrenelyon hard to tell if AI is commenting on your videos. If AI is from the bad guys, the first channels they will attack is Coaches and Professionals like you who are trying to help people protect themselves!

[@tarakadir9259]

❤️🙏🏻

[@LlamaM2288]

25:00 now I'm extra confused 😭 in what context or instance would this work ever be considered "a larger sacrifice for the community at large"? Isn't this work ONLY a good thing and in theory only going to lead to a better overall life (when titrated and done properly of course) for yourself??

[@IreneLyon]

@LlamaM2288, Jen here from Irene's Team. My understanding is Irene referring to the fact that engaging with the nervous system work and cultivating this lifestyle can involve what feel like sacrifices to some people. These "sacrifices" might include making different choices about engaging with family members, having fewer relationships in our lives for a time, not doing some things that we formerly enjoyed in order to make space for cultivating this more biologically based lifestyle. Hope this helps to clarify.

[@susancrowsen9751]

How do I start?

[@MinnaMrt2958]

See her website for all resources & courses 👍

[@IreneLyon]

@susancrowsen9751, Jen here from Irene's Team. Irene's 21 Day Nervous System Tune Up can be a great way to start with this work. It's a self-study course that you can explore at your own pace. It includes a mix of learning and practice, and you also have the opportunity to ask questions about your experience. I'll share a link to the course site and also to Irene's website so you can learn more. 21 Day Nervous System Tune Up - 21daytuneup.com/ Irene's website - irenelyon.com/

[@julesbevis3508]

A more evolved level of consciousness so we’d make wiser choices.

[@robster7012]

Irene do you see people doing this work go through a 'healing crisis'? A worse before it gets better scenario?

[@BrandyinIndy]

In my experience in doing this for 4 months, yes. It took about 3 months to even start processing, understanding mentally and feeling the positive effects from doing this as I have a new position at work to teach these concepts. It felt like I have to go through a healing, cleansing, emptying process, if you will, before I began to heal and feel better. I thought through my 5 years in therapy (CBT) that I had released all the ‘issues in my tissues.’ But keep going is my best suggestion. I had to trust the process and keep going because I felt as if I was going to be “stuck” if I didn’t. And I’m sure other things will come up. But yes, we have to get the junk out, if you will, to replace with good health and feelings. I’ve been able to identify where I carry my stress and my most vulnerable parts of my body. But remember everyone is different. A lot of ppl relate to carrying stress or trauma in their stomachs. I relate more to my neck, shoulders, back and hips. Hope this encourages you and I’m proud of you for embarking on this amazing journey. God bless you. ❤

[@robster7012]

@BrandyinIndy thank you for your encouragement, really appreciate it 🙏🏼

[@bthehermit]

Can anyone help me understand what Irene means by “a bigger sacrifice for the community at large” Does that mean if a person has a lot of survival stress they should sacrifice their minds desires and instead heal which might mean less relationships and more healing Any thoughts would be much appreciated

[@IreneLyon]

@bthehermit, Jen here from Irene's Team. I listened to the part that you referenced and my understanding is that Irene is referring that all that can go into engaging with this work and making the changes that doing so can require with an awareness that in doing so, we benefit not only ourselves but the broader community and environment - both in ways that we are aware of as well as many that we aren't and that will span beyond our lifetime. On a practical level, this "sacrifice" may look different for each of us, and yes, it may mean fewer relationships for a time.

[@bthehermit]

@ thank you so much for your response

[@megpierce979]

What is meant by "over ride" ?

[@IreneLyon]

@megpierce979, Jen here from Irene's Team. When we talking about overriding in the context of this work, we are talking about pushing past the signals we receive from our physiology. To give you a few examples, this might look like making ourselves keep going when we are really tired, not going to the bathroom when we feel the signals from the bladder, or holding our feelings inside without expressing them. While sometimes we may need to override for practical reasons (we're in the car and have to wait until we stop at a bathroom), learning to listen to our biology can help to grow nervous system regulation and to cultivate and new and different relationship with ourselves.

[@beatamachnowska7310]

I know a couple in which a woman is very OCD. She worries about germs. I don't.know about a guy. For example, when they read.the same book they order two copies, so they don't need to touch the same book copy. They are.both not that Young, maybe 45-50 years old. They have two twins about 10 years old. The parents are in good health. I am 44 and not that healthy. I am doing trauma work for about 5 years. My kids are not doing good socially. My older.kid as.asthma and ton of allergies. I am divorced. The other family seems to function so much better. Their kids are very nice and doing very good. I don't get all of that. Are they passing their traumas to their kids (the couple)? Will the kids get sick, if they decide to work on their traumas? Am I and my kids sick cause we are doing the work? I am trying to work with my kids. Can someone with a sever OCD just get away and never get sick, go through life the way he is? Or maybe really I am more messed up than I think of myself. I married a narcissist.

[@IreneLyon]

@beatamachnowska7310, Jen here from Irene's Team. It's an interesting question, and there's a lot to it. Some people are impacted differently by their history and what they've been through, and to your point we don't always know what someone is experiencing under the surface / in the parts of their lives that we don't see. To your question about being sick because you're 'doing the work, sometimes people can have a temporary uptick in symptoms or things can feel more disorganized on the way to being re-organized, and generally speaking people do tend to notice benefits over time when they stick with this work. It sounds like you're taking steps to support your health and the health of your family, which is a lot and in time will likely be a gift to all of you.

[@avagrejon0413]

I would like to add my own experience with your comment. I have myself struggled with OCD behaviours and I'm sbsm student, and know that the very nature of OCD is to have a calm organised, stable secure and in order environment, while a fierce chaotic battle of war goes on inside the body. This makes OCD very very well hidden disorder and therefore is so misunderstood by society and just in general. I've had very close people in my life that have seen everything as being fine, nothing wrong, "what's the problem" they would say, because to everyone on the outside I most likely appeared I had everything together and organised, I also very rarely got ill, I got told I was a " healthy person" many times. I don't see anywhere near enough information about this, and Irene is the first person who I found to describe OCD this way ( thank you Irene!). This isn't an attack on you in any way, but just to bring more awareness to a hidden disorder that I suppose you could call it a functional freeze way of carrying on. I hope I have thrown some light on this topic for you and wish you well on your journey 🙏

[@soprotivleniye7620]

I can't afford to enter this work because your SE sessions are very expensive.

[@IreneLyon]

@soprotivleniye7620, Jen here from Team Lyon. Irene has many free and paid offerings, and she does not offer individual SE sessions these days. Many people have started this work using only the free resources. I'll share some links in case you want to check them out. Free Resource Center -irenelyon.com/free-resources/ YT Playlist of Neurosensory Exercises - kzbin.info/www/bejne/iKCzgKB3l5Zjbtk Irene also offers Drop In classes that are roughly the cost of a yoga class - irenelyon.com/drop-in-class-1

[@soprotivleniye7620]

@IreneLyon Thank you but I need specifically SE sessions. All that free stuff will not help me because I have had 13 bad trips on ayahuasca. Do you know what a bad trip on ayahuasca is like?

[@IreneLyon]

@@soprotivleniye7620, I hear that you are looking specifically for SE sessions. As I mentioned, Irene doesn't offer SE sessions. You might consider searching the Somatic Experiencing directory. Some practitioners work on a sliding scale. Here's a link: directory.traumahealing.org/

[@julesbevis3508]

meta-noya

[@elisabethwyndaele5912]

Sleep , walk = 0

[@elisabethwyndaele5912]

Controle that’s why he became a narcissistic person = controlling me