Is ADHD Different For Girls?

[@mickeyiael9013]

As a transgender man (in the states), I can't thank you enough for the phrasings you used and the explanation you gave in the beginning. People see my chart and assume one thing, but look at me and assume the exact opposite, forgetting that I was not raised looking, acting like, or being treated as a 47 year old man. Too many people overlook even the possibility of this and so much slips by undetected. Thank you. 💟

[@abbyanderson3679]

As an autistic ADHD girl just you existing as an afab person has really helped me come to terms with my brain ❤❤❤

[@BlindmanPepperspray]

AuDHD Man here. I really see the differences being more on the societal expectations rather than the individual itself except some others you mentioned that can and affect any Women including pregnancy, birth, and the monthly cycle (in which I don’t really see those type of experiences for Neurodivergent Women being talked about.) I related to pretty much most AuDHD symptoms including other Women (or assigned as girls on birth) like you, Yo Samdy Sam, Foster on the Spectrum, Mollys ADHD mayhem and some others. Id say things have been heading to the right direction for Neurodivergent Women’s voices being heard over the decade and I really thank people like you and other Women and Men bringing light to this ever since 💜

[@AH-auDHD]

💙💚💛💜

[@crazycat1166]

As a trans man who has only recently been diagnosed with autism and now awaiting an assessment for ADHD this is so relevant. When I was living and presenting as female I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and this led to a lot of sigma from mental health professionals. It was only a few years into transition that people suddenly started looking into the possibility I may be neurodiverse. And during my autism assessment the doctor actually said he doesn't think I have bpd at all and it's actually a combination of autism and ADHD. To my suprise I have now discovered that the symptoms of bpd and ADHD are actually very similar yet "women/girls" are more likely to be diagnosed with something such as personality disorder or bipolar whereas "boys/men" with the same symptoms are more likely to be diagnosed with ADHD. I'm literally walking evidence for this I'm obviously the same person with the same difficulties yet my diagnosis has been changed purely based on the gender the doctors carrying out the assessments perceive me as

[@Catlily5]

I was misdiagnosed with Borderline. I am now diagnosed with ADHD and autism (and PTSD and bipolar). Being diagnosed with Borderline was awful because some mental health "professionals" treated me and other people diagnosed with Borderline very meanly and unprofessionally. I was so happy when they took that label off me. I am the same person but treated better. It is ridiculous.

[@crazycat1166]

@@Catlily5 glad you got the right diagnosis in the end. Yes I have been accused of being manipulative and attention seeking so many times by mental health professionals purely based on my diagnosis of bpd 😠

[@Catlily5]

@@crazycat1166 😠

[@AH-auDHD]

Thank you for creating this content, Ella. The effect of negative stereotypes and hormones on ADHD and self worth isn't confronted enough. ❤ You look beautiful. Blue really suits you, especially 💙 blue.

[@settleluna7692]

This is the situation I’m in! I’m on the long waiting list for an Autism assessment & I do think ADHD has a part to play but can’t seem to vocalise this to others. I’m 47 & also now going through menopause which is making me feel like I’m on a carousel all the time,it’s so dizzying

[@settleluna7692]

Thank you for giving me a way to show others what I mean when my brain shuts down. I love how concise you are when you explain ❤

[@AH-auDHD]

I'm sorry you're going through this now. It is a really frustrating experience, but I'd like you to know out of every person diagnosed with autism, 50% of them have co-existing ADHD. It is actually the most common co-existing condition with autism. Government and NAS supports these facts.

[@Catlily5]

​@@AH-auDHD ADHD is even more commonly co-existing with autism than anxiety?

[@AH-auDHD]

@Lilycat5 I'm not familiar with the statistics of co-existing anxiety, but since anxiety is a symptom of autism and ADHD, I'd say right now that that is actually irrelevant to this. I understand your perspective and what you're saying and I respect that and yourself for specifying as much but anxiety is a common symptom in both conditions whereas ADHD and autism are separate. To see how much anxiety affects those with either, like ADHD/autism, they'd need to be measured separately. But, yes, it's an established fact: those with autism are usually assessed for ADHD first because of all those with autism, 50% of diagnosed autistics also have or become diagnosed with ADHD. :) (polite)

[@Catlily5]

@@AH-auDHD I saw anxiety and depression listed as most often considered comorbidities with autism in the past. But I did a search and ADHD is very high as well. Seems like it just depends where you look. I have been diagnosed with a couple of Anxiety disorders, ADHD and autism. So either way it is relevant to me.

[@charlottestandage2765]

I just want to thank you for spreading awareness. I received a provisional diagnosis of ASD in pain management in Bath in 2014. They wrote to my GP asking that he refer me for official assessment. However he refused to refer me. Bath therefore wrote another two letters with supporting information regarding the signs and symptoms they had noted. However, he still refused to refer me. At that point I was too embarrassed to pursue assessment any further. last week however I found the courage to fill out an econsult and ask another doctor for referral. I gave him details of what had happened previously and his secretary called me the very same day. I am going for an appointment this Friday to discuss referral with him this week! I am so grateful for all you do to help us understand how ASD presents in girls and women (assigned at birth). I also have hypermobile Ehlers danlos syndrome diagnosed last year and before going to the hypermobility clinic, I had seen your post sharing your story which is why I went to the hypermobility clinic in London! So I cannot thank you enough! Xxx

[@jmaessen3531]

Oh heck yeah! Sincerely, great job self-advocating! It's SO hard to push against a doctor so stubborn in their assumptions, or who's acting like an expert in an area that simply isn't their expertise. I'm glad you found more support elsewhere. My primary doc - who's great with her thoughtful and thorough treatments for my physical issues - pretty rapidly wrote me an Rx for SSRIs. But I didn't trust that it was thorough enough and I wanted to talk it through compared to other possibilities. She simply wasn't trained to be an expert in psychology or psychiatry. And she didn't have time to deep dive the way my brain needs to in order to move forward confidently with very impactful meds. I didn't take the SSRIs. It's just not a medication type that's suited for my symptoms. The psychiatrist I found on my own (luckily, with my insurance no referral was required) provided a thorough assessment and confirmed I've got ADHD. My anxiety and depression are symptoms of my neurodivergence in the culture I'm in. They aren't the root diagnoses for me. And since starting meds for ADHD, I've done counseling and coaching work with neurodivergence professionals, and I'm fairly certain I'm autistic as well. Awaiting my assessment for that in two weeks. Cheers to self-discovery work! You've got this!

[@jimwilliams3816]

I'm obviously not the target audience here, so I feel more out of place than usual. (I spend most of my time on the channels of neurodivergent women -- or in your case, Ella, a neurodivergent non binary person AFAB -- for various reasons.) But as I moved towards a diagnosis, I looked at the DSM criteria, thought about the one about "invading others space," and had a moment of terrible clarity. Yes I do. So if anyone feels like I am sticking my nose where maybe it doesn't belong, I understand, and you're probably right. Being born some years before ADD was added to DSM, I also do not have any experience with childhood diagnosis. I do want to offer one thought about the relative diagnosis rates of boys and girls: in the US at least, I think a fair amount of childhood diagnosis derives from who is "making life difficult" for educators. IMO, one reason dx can be controversial here is that it is sometimes intended to serve the needs of the school more than the individual. So my sense is that children of both sexes as assigned at birth who are quiet and unfocused are overlooked in favor of the "troublemakers" -- and yes, whatever the reasons, that translates into more AMAB kids being diagnosed. Part of the reason I was never diagnosed is that my mother (from whom I inherited my most emotionally dysregulated traits) was extremely leery of doctors. Partly, I happened to be a fearful avoidant boy who was emotional and very hard to guide (think herding cats) but not really a troublemaker. I'm combined presentation, but I think maybe the autism caused my hyperactivity to look more socially acceptable to teachers: the same "bright, well spoken but unmotivated" cliche that is applied to many girls.

[@ChristianAnneSmith]

Just diagnosed at age 50; this video really resonates for me, and I have a similar feeling of having told myself my whole life that I had personality problems and now having a bit more compassion for myself. Thank you for such a clear description.

[@Sandra-hc4vo]

Thanks, I relate a lot, it has really had a big effect on my life. And you worded it all super well.

[@lauraluey]

Very interesting to hear about these things, particularly the emotional dysregulation. I've recently been diagnosed with Autism, and it was suggested that I could also have ADHD. This is helping me to get my head around understanding the differences and similarities between the two, and how both of those show up within me Thank you for all that you do 💙🩵🍀

[@otterwench]

znother amazing post. You are helping so many hundreds of us, thank you for sharing your vulnerability and strength.

[@DanaMac1977]

Thank you! I’m 47 and have my assessment in 2 weeks!! So nervous! Thank you. Glad I found your channel. Cheers from a new subscriber in Australia 🇦🇺 😊

[@wolfdreams2000]

Thank you, Ella 💜 I'm a 62yr old gay woman who was just dx with ADHD (combined type) a few weeks ago, and I'm learning what that means for me. But since it doesn't explain everything i have my first appointment on Monday for an autism assessment. If it turns out that im also autistic, that would explain a lot more. Thanks so much for all you do

[@victoriacrookes6516]

Thank you so much … you made me feel seen and heard in a way I didn’t realise I needed❤

[@amandahymans8402]

I am a 15 year old girl and I have so many ADHD symptoms; extreme hyperfixations, impulsivity etc. I told my mum about this but she thinks im totally crazy in thinking I have ADHD because she works in the special needs base in my school and a boy (13) in her class she is a TA in has ADHD and she said he is really active and runs around and cannot sit still: i do fidget a lot btw. so because of this one boy she doesnt believe me and thinks im attention seeking- ive watched a lot of your videos on adhd and i can relate so much and ive done online tests and quick quizzes and they all relate to me so much, I just wish my mum would believe me and not think im crazy and understand that adhd can look different in boys and girls as she based her opinion that I dont have adhd on the few symptoms of a boy

[@michiganmediumheather4549]

It’s ok I’m 53 and my mom still says I didn’t have anything wrong. She was a teacher too. It their issue of feeling guilty about it. Like they can’t see it therefore it’s not there or I genetically gave my daughter this. God no many mothers can’t even fathom if they don’t even love themselves enough to see their shortcomings. They most likely have it too. She doesn’t need to get it. After years of medication I can so. Don’t do it. Now that I know I can rework the conditioning to not feel shame for my reactions to over stim. Now just take things slower Realize relationships will be varied and maybe not many will be a match. So dealing with loneliness was the worse. Imposter syndrome I realized happened and I wouldn’t give myself credit almost like that couldn’t be me. So. Therapy maybe can help. I never got any good help. Noyone recognized the adhd. They just said PTSD but that was because of the childhood when Shame Isolating Bullying Sexual abuse from boys 15 and on

[@angelacarstensen]

Do you have any info on how menopause might interact with autism? Thank you for all that you do!

[@fionaforder767]

I'm 46 and my daughter recently got diagnosed Autistic at 15 yrs old. I am told I'm very like her. I filled in an a form for Autism and am on a waiting list for assessment. I was advised to get an ADHD assessment too. I think I possibly have the inattentive type I'm very quiet. This was all a shock!!

[@namfow]

I would actually say that presentation is associated with marginalisation. I love the inclusivity of how you discussed this but I think it goes so far beyond gender. It's often the same for queer boys. Same for people of minority ethnic backgrounds. And the more intersectional a marginalised identity, quite often the more pronounced. As a queer working class disabled person who is however cis male, reading about my presentation as feminine is tiring and I'm ready for the narrative to be updated 😄

[@jmaessen3531]

Ooh! Presentation is associated with marginalization. Well said, that resonates! Gonna be chewing on this for a bit. Thank you for sharing!

[@jmaessen3531]

Love this video. And your look today! Blue is my purple, it's my absolute favorite 😂 💙 💜

[@susanne4028]

Very interesting information. Thank you so much.

[@sugargliderluvr]

i don’t know if i have adhd but i relate to so many of these things..

[@rainbowgirl55]

I've just watched your other video on ADHD symptoms and counted that I have 7 inattentive ADHD symptoms and 4 hyperactive ADHD symptoms. Does this mean I might have combined ADHD too? I'm already diagnosed autistic and don't know whether to go for an ADHD assessment or not and not sure what to do. I'm in the UK.

[@jmaessen3531]

Hi! I know the question you asked was for Ella, but wanted to offer support in case they don't see it 😊 I'm diagnosed with combined type ADHD and that was the first big Aha! diagnosis for me. It allowed me to find a lot of self-understanding and -acceptance. I still don't have professional diagnostic input on my self-diagnosed autism. That assessment is in a couple weeks. All that to say, it sounds like we're doing this in opposite sequences to each other 😂 Not sure if you oughta go for an ADHD assessment. That's totally your choice. It might offer more helpful information. Possibly access to supports like medicine options or work accommodations that otherwise might not be available. Maybe chewing on what your biggest desired outcomes are from that assessment might help you decide. Hope this helps a bit. 🫶🏻 And I hope you find the answers you're looking for!

[@mariajuarez5474]

Just wondering what you know about MS?

[@rainbowmonkMC]

as a nonbinary transwoman, i also masked in all the ways you claim "afab" act. i want to say that transwomen are women and are socialized as transwomen -- i.e. we pay very much attention to how girls and boys are socialized and we internalized all of it. esp as someone with autism.