Is It Better To Walk Away?

Deciding to let go and walk away from trying to repair a relationship is one of the most difficult decisions to make. In this video, we discuss a situation where different factors are considered to help make the best decision possible about moving forward.
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[@smilersmiling]

Walking away and no contact is a must for toxic relationships. You don’t hang around for them to trash you more than they already did. Grow the best boundaries become the best ever person and when you get to other side you can see your toxic ex repeat the same cycle of behaviours with each new partner.

[@skyfall1481]

There’s no choice. When someone told me, they couldn’t see me the next day ‘becuase it’s raining and I’m cleaning my house’, it was time to give them the gift of my absence.

[@smilersmiling]

@@skyfall1481 toxic people can’t cope with out attention. So gift of absence gives you the power back and let them crawl back.

[@Dippyhann1]

I’ve been split from my ex girlfriend for 5 months now (she ended things). For the first couple months, I was in pain, but not once did I reach out! She reached out to me every couple weeks or so, asking what I’ve been up to etc, heard I was moving on… Every time she speaks to me she sounds angry or upset even if I’ve done nothing wrong. I’m always polite to her. But you’ve got to be the bigger person! Oh and she’s the one dating someone else now! Now, I feel so much better! So empowered! She hasn’t indicated coming back together but there are obvious signs that she regrets her decision but if she came back now I would happily say no. She taught me how to love myself! Tables have turned! 🙌🏻 Have faith in the process guys, you will be okay I promise!

[@TBusjuuuh]

Something you didn’t mention, but worth saying; I think the facebook post was probably ment for hes ex. To be all like ‘look at me being over you, one year after our break-up’. Obviously he didn’t take the feelings of this girl in consideration, or the girl who he is currently dating. Seems like he only cares about hes own agenda. I think the girl writing this dodged a bullet here. Count your blessings that he left you. You deserve better: someone who is not emotional unavailable. And even if one day this guy would be emotional available again, who is to say that you are the one he wants back, and not one of the other girls he is rebounding with, or someone new. Think its better to let this one go, even though its hard. Stay strong ✊🏻

[@Js-wd6dr]

I agree on not contacting them let them contact you if they were the one who broke up with you. Give them the break up...let it go but be sweet with a back bone. Have boundaries.

[@Mancer1980]

That girl has nothing to worry about - that "new" relationship will be over and done with before she knows it. This guy is just rebounding all over the place because he's clearly not over his failed marriage. He did her a favor, she just doesn't know it yet.

[@vanell3532]

I agree with this absolutely. My ex was using me (and every other woman) as a rebound too, even though he'd been divorced 3 years and was actively dating, he still wasn't over his ex. I dodged a massive bullet and would never consider even being friends.

[@skyfall1481]

100%. The guy is a train wreck and just running from his problems by using others.

[@crking36]

That is a very good question🙄I honestly dont know whether I want my ex back

[@BetaWink711]

Nah seriously tho

[@melindaabraham3327]

You been there , you know what you getting ,what's in there why go back ?

[@nickflynn621]

If you discover they are in another relationship you should always 100% walk away and move on. Low integrity behavior to continue to speak to someone while they are busy with someone else.

[@edusam666]

I've been through something similar two times. It's hard when you want to bond with someone and the past traumas just don't let you. But you can't force it out. It requires work and patience.

[@nickflynn621]

Here’s a great exercise: Write down what it is that you want in a parter via a pros and cons list. Your ideal. Be honest with this. 5-10 things you do & don’t want in a relationship. You can take this a step further when you start dating other people. Use your pros cons list to see how they match up. You’ll then start to realize that the people you’re dating are more aligned with your ideal than your ex ever was….and you’ll be left wondering why you ever dated them in the first place

[@skyfall1481]

Great advice. Going to do this. Will certainly show how low our standards dropped just because we liked someone so much out of lust. Sigh.

[@lielastrong2026]

Thank you Craig! After carefully following your advice the last three months since my breakup, my ex fiancé took me back two weeks ago. Without sounding too dramatic, your videos practically saved my life. The help you offer on this channel prevented much needless suffering, far more than what I could have wished for. As we all know, the pain and fear going through a breakup is unimaginable, unending and relentless. Often it seemed the only light found on my darkest days were the kind words of wisdom both you and Magaret shared. All you’ve taught has greatly impressed my inner psychoanalytical facets, and for obvious reasons I am now able to confirm. You’ve been right about everything, simply put! I will always be grateful for the work you’ve done, thank you again- Liela Strong

[@nenuhhS11]

wow do u mind sharing a part of why yall ended? did u do no contact strictly? did u guys delete eachother off social media? im trying to find some point of hope ugh. this hurts so much and i miss him but we said mean things to eachother and then i left because he broke up with me. we weren’t saying bad names but he said first i wasnt mother material and he couldnt see his life with me and i said he wasnt a man because i was hurt from what he said. two wrongs dont make a right and i want to apologize but i dont want to break no contact since he told me to leave… i just want to know if hes going to come back. i know we both need to grow apart, before we get together for sure. this hurts so much):

[@LaTrav08]

He used her as a placeholder....that's why he kept her away from his family and off of his social media.

[@adrij4961]

Craig I am proud to say that I have listened to 12,000 minutes of you on my Spotify wrap. And that’s not even counting the hours I spent watching your KZbin. Haha love your stuff, I feel like I will always continue listening

[@huydang3112]

Thank you coach Craig! I have been listening to your channel ever since my ex girlfriend broke up with me about 2.5 weeks ago. She said she love me as a person, but she is not in love with me any more and there is something missing. We knew each other for 7 months, and we dated for 5 months. Everything was going perfect, in my opinion, but she broke up with me out of nowhere. After watching your videos, I realize that she is an avoidant attachment style person. Maybe she is scare of intimacy and commitment because in her head she believes that there is someone out there that know everything about her and what she wants. Oh man, moving on from the first relationship is extremely hard. I still have my hope that she would come back but I need to let it go. Maybe everything that I have to go through right now is a blessing in disguise.

[@simranmukherji7207]

I have also been hearing him 10 videos a day since past 1 month exactly. Only Craig & Margaret is our last hope

[@obiej17]

She ever come back?

[@ceeelo4111]

Very insightful as always !! Thank you for your continual support I can see there are so many of us following your channel closely !!! The workbooks are amazing but with each new post you guys share they reinforce the information in the workbooks !! It helps to have someone with first hand experience in heartbreaks and family trauma sharing insightful education that is helping heal many in these confusing times !!! As always thank you ten fold !!!!

[@embermiller4356]

I went thru a relationship years ago with similar dynamics. I was 27 and he was 43. He had been divorced a year. He seemed to be so smitten with me. We were so close and compatible..so I thought.Then one day, came over to my apartment & said “I can’t let you take over my life” and he left. I was devastated. I later learned he had mental illness. I also heard he went into a deep depression. I don’t think he ever remarried. He passed away last year. To this day, there are times it still hurts when I think about it. Thank you so much for this video. I think I now understand what happened.

[@whitneyw.7919]

I never understand why women in their 20's would be attracted to a man 10+ years older . Doesn't that ring your creepy alarm bells? Or even worse, you have to change their diapers while you're 60 and still got a zest for life

[@embermiller4356]

@@whitneyw.7919 Wow…what an attempt at an insult. No, I liked older men when I was younger…more mature….usually more settled. What does give me the creeps is your pious, insensitive, uneducated comment.

[@rwentfordable]

​@@whitneyw.7919 kzbin.info/www/bejne/i6Oqh6mvapeGhtE It's normal for that kind of age gap. It's your view that is strange

[@adaiah8301]

Ten months of no contact…last Thursday he deleted my phone number…found him at a party last Friday (which I was supposed to go but he didn’t). I met him by chance face to face on the dancing floor and told him: “nothing happens if we say hello”; he emotionally replied: “it does” and walked away! Hope is lost. 🥺

[@adrij4961]

10 months as well

[@adrij4961]

Haven’t heard a word, and now she’s seeing someone new

[@whitneyw.7919]

Good plan! Sometimes I think that coach craig and other breakup coaches give people false hope to get more business. Sometimes, in fact frequently, breakups are final. And when you do move on, you will probably look back and realize it was for the best. Though it's certainly not easy!

[@user-se8hh4uh6x]

😂😂😂😂😂😂 Good

[@janac2881]

This was your best video yet. For me, Personally, I mean. Thank you. Please More like this. Jana - Texas

[@jenniferboyce3958]

this one hit close to the heart

[@Beatlemaniac1983]

Also, he's dating a 24 years old, after being married since his early 20s. Almost as if he's looking for a restart or a do-over. Maybe she even reminds him of his wife when they first fell in love, that's why he already introduced her to his family - she feels familiar to him.

[@whitneyw.7919]

Always creepy when men in their 30's are dating women in their early 20's

[@rwentfordable]

​@@whitneyw.7919 What is wrong with you? What tiny age gap do you think is acceptable? Did an older man dump you?

[@mamasitatita]

I needed this 🙏🏼

[@niggyberry6214]

Chat him up now...

[@midnight9927]

It's better to move on, getting back need alot of work and love, i don't think he's serious enough about his relationship with her to do it.. I think i don't want him anymore too!! i just can't stop stalking his social media, I'm still stuck 😔

[@adri8wog]

"Avoidants break up when they get too close. Too much, too soon, too close." You hit the nail on the head, Margaret. Happened to me twice in the last year!

[@poohk.8587]

I’ve been sitting around 3 years and finally decided to just walk 3 days ago . Prayers to you 🙏🏾.

[@adri8wog]

@@poohk.8587 thanks man, I hope you're okay

[@singledream483]

Oh are this people have trust issues,,??

[@TonyRossiImpactGlobal]

I fell back into the trap my narc ex-wife laid after her 2nd divorce. She destroyed (depression/guilt/shame) me during and after our marriage failed because of her cheating. This time we spent every day together and I thought we were getting close again, but I realized she was monkey branching and gaslighting. It put me in a bad place again, I lost all of the progress I had made. I finally walked away from her and I'm healing AGAIN. If your intuition tells you, like mine did, that this is wrong and no matter what you do it's never going to be good enough and matter, listen to yourself!

[@Stephanie-ku8wl]

Am I the only one who doesn’t want to talk to men after they married someone else and then came back when they were getting a divorce? My feelings are hurt and I am not good at forgiving people who deserted me.

[@Js-wd6dr]

Avoidance types...hard to deal with!

[@philipburdick8160]

What you guys going on and on about this guy's problem... it's his problem, walk, not RUN away. Move on. Let other people get their own shit together, you have to focus on what works for you. I will admit that it's good to know what you might be getting yourself into but in the long run you are just wasting time that could be better spent being open to someone else who meets you where YOU are. That was the question, wasn't it? Walk away. Next question please....

[@clairesanders1742]

Both girl's are rebounds I think.

[@kingjohnjuly]

You really get me through my day knowing my girl left me keep up the work I getting your book

[@brandonwatson1783]

30 days NC and this is almost exactly the same set up for me. Met 11 months after she and her ex husband separated. Dated 8 months and had a wonderful relationship. She started experiencing some anxiety and ended our relationship the same month as the one yr anniversary of her divorce being finalized. She told me I didn't do anything wrong. I definitely didn't do anything worth breaking up over. It appears that she just wanted to be by herself. I'm bummed out bc this was the best relationship I'd ever experienced. Maybe she comes back.

[@stephenciotti2127]

Good morning coaches!

[@itsbritneybitch69]

3 weeks ago me and my ex (hes bit dismissive/fearful) had a very sad break up talk, (we had an amazing weekend 2 weeks b4 lots of laughter and him telling me he was in love with me and out of the blue 2 hours after getting home he wanted to split up) i didnt want to break up but he said due to the age difference and him wanting kids with someone near his age even tho i could have kids (even tho he liked that i was older which is why he wanted me to begin with) we couldnt be together after 9 months of being exclusive he broke up with me multiple times but always came back very quickly because he said he loved me so 3 weeks ago we were both crying spent the night together lots of "i love you's" from both sides and he told me that he needed to move on but it wouldnt be for a while and i said well as we both love eachother i hope not, i did say for him to let me know if he met someone as after what he said i figured this wouldnt be for months and it would give me the closure i needed we saw eachother 2 days later for a walk lots of hugs kisses and 2 more days of nice texts, about 5 days later of me not messaging he went cold and his texts were some cold some ok, he then said for us to stop messaging as its making him feel horrible i then decided to go no contact to give him a chance to miss me not being in his life and to give me some clarity somewhat aswell fast forward 2 and a half weeks and he messages out of the blue to tell me he has met someone 3 weeks b4 he was crying his heart out because he "loved me so much" but he felt he couldnt be with me and he has already found someone else?? so im in shock i feel lied to i feel like i meant nothing and this new person is going to get all the love and commitment whist im having to take anti-depressants to deal with the break up, its so shit :(

[@klasykapolskiegohh8798]

God. I never loved my ex girlfriend of 3 years. But when she broke it off I feel like I've lost the love of my life. What the hell. I should be jumping of happiness that it's over but instead I sit here feeling terrible

[@andrasziegenham6766]

Same. It's the damn separation anxiety.

[@Rk-tu1zg]

I think I give my all effort in this relationship but she don't want to come back and i think I should move on

[@alifewithd9815]

In 3 months post BU. such a whirlwind emotions. 😑 Edit: after break up no begging and pleading went directly to NC. Its hard specially these past few days im tempted to reach out 😓. I miss him so badly and dying inside each day.

[@johnshawrn]

I i

[@jajahMantes]

Update

[@Byku010]

update?

[@capricris7672]

Yes it is.

[@niggyberry6214]

Chat him up now....

[@toorakranger8406]

Hi Craig, would it be possible to do something on what to do when you decide to go NC with an ex after agreeing to be friends?

[@lesleysole6427]

Hello to you both , I suffer depression but I know excatly what I want n don't want .I'm due to get married in about 3 weeks , im not sure what to do .my partner has a psychologist he appears to tell my partner what to do not just give advice.this n his drinking has turning him into awful person that I don't know really anymore .we get on to me his subatarging us .I told him he needs to stop drinking I cant go down that path again n keep being hurt .I cannot go to work daily due to feel draining n get anxious due to him plus my abandoned issues from childhood....his so nice to others except to my mum my bbf couple of my adult kids ..I now just don't have energy to do much ..I just want to stay in bed not be around anyone 😴. Not me ..im fun person loves to joke etc

[@adoriamilan1437]

My situation is quite similar but I found out I was pregnant when the divorce was finalized and he dumped me. 😔

[@Js-wd6dr]

That was fast!

[@disorder_go]

I’m walking away. If she reaches out then I’ll be open to it. But she’ll never hear from me again otherwise.

[@bonniechampagne4093]

Bingo!! Guessed this one right! No brainier 🤣

[@Madmart54]

I’m confused. I realise now at 67 I never understood the rules of dating in that I was a monogamous dater but went out with women who had other men at the time and didn’t like it(admitted or not by them). I found this hard to accept at the time but now accept that’s how you find the person you want from various videos-if you agree? You said at the beginning that he was only dating this woman and as though he should have been with others but now he’s met someone else he’s made to look almost like a cheat? I’m confused? They weren’t a firm item?

[@Madmart54]

@@alexislaura9487 Go Away!

[@Js-wd6dr]

I would give him the break up and have boundaries...like I said be sweet but have a back bone

[@bulletinvid]

Anxious+ Anxious = 😟 😰 😨

[@holyroller7743]

3rd

[@RCT479]

1st

[@Rk-tu1zg]

2nd

[@robb1865]

Focus on health and wealth. Then find someone you gel well with. Do not put an ex on a pedestal.

[@ConfidencePT]

Hey Coach Craig, I've been watching you since 2016. You're always Awesome and Margaret is a gem. Would you consider collaborating with Doctor Ramani for a video? I think it could be Awesome!

[@Js-wd6dr]

Good he is on meds for depression. Depends on strength.

[@Js-wd6dr]

A new girl?

[@Js-wd6dr]

Probably knew her from networking...haha

[@evataheke2633]

Margaret, Craig, thank you for your insights and support, it's been comforting and a learning with you. Can you make a video on the topic "Why would an ex reach out and tell you they have somebody new?" My ex announced it in his first call after 9 months of no contact. Since that we've had some contacts but they keep showing surprise that I am still hurting over our break-up. What's your take on it? What do you recommend to respond? Also my ex's rebound has lasted for two years now, although I guess with ups and downs. I honour our past partnership but I struggle to move on from this pain.

[@OneGirlRecipes]

2nd

[@CoachCraigKenneth]

4th

[@OneGirlRecipes]

@@CoachCraigKenneth My internet was clearly lagging.