"IS MY Sociopath SISTER/BROTHER JEALOUS?" | Psychotherapy Crash Course

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

If you want to learn about parental jealousy of the adult child, click here: kzbin.info/www/bejne/pnXIqYCph72Hi5o

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

You're welcome!

[@Xodeladelamore]

Ppl who dont have this issues with siblings are sooooo lucky😢

[@rosettajackson7099]

I have it with mines i went no contact with my toxic family. I was a scapegoat black sheep. She has made threats to beat me up. Because i was a truth teller i stood up. I have a jealous Narcissistic mother as well........

[@michaelaxis6304]

@@rosettajackson7099 I am happy for you Hope i get out too

[@alexishill3342]

You are so right. I'm one of five, and I have come to believe that people who don't have siblings at all are the lucky ones. That's how bad it is between us because our mom is a narcissistic sociopath.

[@lungilemgwebi8712]

It's rare

[@mightyobserver12]

Super. Or just are LurkiNg.

[@rajuncajun1637]

My sister is a covert/ closet narcissist. She is evil and I don’t trust her.

[@jounreymae5599]

Yes I agree with you feel same way.. keep your guess at all times stay protected

[@mightyobserver12]

I trusted twice and never Again

[@aztekkr]

you do good in not trusting her. It has cost me 7 years. Keep them as far away from you that they don't get offended but that they don't get any information from you.

[@beatriceilona8577]

Girl me too. I live at home with all my siblings and I think I need to move out…..

[@Ari-yg3iu]

I honestly needed to hear this more than ever. It’s crazy how much emotional damage a narcissist can cause. They’ll hold on to anything and strike you with revenge when you least expect it. Completely degrade and humiliate everyone around them with zero remorse. The arrogance is insane. To everyone dealing with this, be careful & just stay away.

[@cynthiafortier2540]

Yes SO true, JUST stay away. Love that, best advice ever!!

[@justice8563]

It was a few years ago that I realized that their jealousy was why they were so controlling, verbally, emotionally and physically abusive. I’ve dealt with so many traits of a sociopathic/narcissists and it’s always based on jealousy and a need to either sabotage or use coercive control to cover it up and play innocent.

[@CherrysJubileeJoyfully]

You are not alone

[@justice8563]

@@CherrysJubileeJoyfully As comforting as that is to know I’m not alone, it also saddens me that people like this walk among good people because of such hateful, spiteful, and uncontrollable jealousy. All of us deserve better.

[@SD-rm5ty]

Exactly and you're not alone ❤

[@GuitarMatt]

If you DARE say anything that's not SUBMISSIVE enough to those SUBHUMANS at some point, then they'll PROJECT and say that you're supposedly "jealous" back behind your back It's all about ONE WORD regarding those types... DOMINATION (put under the subtle guise TO THE PUBLIC of trying to "care" about you or me)

[@fifilafleur5555]

@@GuitarMatt, 💯💯💯

[@kateb7155]

There is a lot of information everywhere about being romantically involved with a narcissist but not enough information about the family of origin relationships with that narcissist. I've been entangled romantically with a narcissist and it was NOTHING compared to the trauma inflicted upon me by my narcissist sister. I did not understand that she is a narcissist until I had to go 100% no contact to protect myself from her and seek trauma counseling to overcome the harm I suffered from her pathological behaviors, so many of which you detail in this video. I am doing much better in my life now overall, but I am not sure I will ever fully heal from the impacts of the betrayals and abuses. Thank you for making this video; familial narcissist relationships are very challenging and damaging. Even knowing the litany of damage and harm she inflicted on me, some people think I should seek reconciliation with her because she is my sister. She is and will always be a narcissist first and only, and I have no plan to allow her even a toetip in my life. I know the monster she really is and "family" is no longer a facade she can hide behind and use to manipulate and harm me!

[@taraarrington2285]

♥️

[@nancybartley4610]

They are very different and lumping them is confusing. If anyone finds a therapist on KZbin who addresses only family issues with narcissism, I would appreciate a recommendation. I agree that narcissism in families is far more complicated and harmful and different than romantic experiences with it. This isn't too diminish the hurt experienced in romantic encounters. But being raised by a narcissist!!!!!!!!! It isn't the same.

[@Judah2019]

I’m going through it now all over again I went back to deal with my sister. And I knew better, my ex is also one it is so painful the details are to long and sordid but trust me . The two of them (together betrayed me)so deeply. And people will say that’s your sister. She is a covert the most trickiest and dangerous .They have no clue. Stay strong❤

[@myFloweryLife]

✌

[@fifilafleur5555]

@kateb7155, I completely 💯💯💯understand. You have my sympathy. Get away before it harms your health.

[@TheTalisman515]

Both my siblings are narcissistic, I was the scapegoat and was able to self reflect and work on myself. It still sucks that I can’t have a normal relationship with my siblings and family but the cycle ends with me and will go no further

[@43cassy]

Good for you!✨

[@dnk4559]

Same in my case

[@rosettajackson7099]

I went no contact with toxic family,mother and siblings. My sister went as far as making threats of bodily harm. I am not scared but staying away from my family is very important they are dangerous to me. I was a scapegoat and blacksheep always bullied up on i was a truth teller. No contact was the best thing i ever done. Protect your peace and mental and physical health. My siblings are definently Narcissistic

[@sherlanhills252]

Felt this❤❤❤❤

[@JBgoodiebag]

I’m leaving to let go of my family. The fog has been lifted and I see them for who they are. They need help but can’t see it and continue the cycle.

[@bcbro142]

2 of my sisters were like this until I had to recently cut them out of my life I just wish I had done it a long time ago

[@truth4utoda]

Go gurl

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

completely understand. You have to make healthy decisions for you.

[@taraarrington2285]

❤

[@beelarehman5992]

Two! You poor thing. I had one.

[@rajuncajun1637]

Me too Finally!

[@JL-kf8mw]

My sister started off lying about me at an early age, to becoming a groupie as a teenager and dropping names of people meets. When that didn’t get her enough attention (or positive attention), she would tell people that she loves me but I abuse her which never happened, and then in private would tell me that everyone hated me and that I should kill myself. That turned into a mantra for her, like “you need to die, everyone hates you, you should hurry up and die. I hate you.” That would be followed with crying to our mother with “I,love her, mommy. I’m afraid she’s going to do something crazy.” She did this until I finally cut them off at 30 years old after a temper tantrum where she just screamed “die die die die” at me for around 5-10 minutes. I don’t know if that is narcissistic or psycho, but my family just writes it off to “Well…she holds a grudge.” I never did anything to her for her to hold a grudge against, but I’m sure she made up a few doozies. I don’t think I’ll ever totally get over it.

[@alwaysyouramanda]

My gosh, I’m so sorry you had to deal with that. Gosh- sometimes I think my situation is bad and then I read a comment like this 😢😢😢😢 the depravity..

[@myFloweryLife]

I thought I have a crazy devil in my house but it turns out your crazy sibling is crazier than mine 😅They are pathetic, that's all, but never let her control your mind. She is a devil and nothing more. A devil in misery

[@leslievanduzee9282]

Wow, what a horrible nightmare for you

[@fifilafleur5555]

JL-kf8mw, I hear you and I believe you. I understand. Your sister is evil. I know all about the lies they tell behind our backs while **pretending** to love us to others… the evil things they say & do when there are no witnesses. Our society (and anyone half way decent and good) need to understand these evil individuals exist and they can fool most anyone. They are “Satan’s Army.” His legion…

[@taraarrington2285]

Are all narcissists extremely competitive? Why would they put you in a game you don't even want to be in or didn't know you're in I don't like to compete and I don't care but I think they do

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

I wouldn't say all narcissists but I would say most. Most are competitive because they believe they can win until reality shows them something different.

[@mightyobserver12]

​@@TherapistTamaraHillthis is true. They would compare themselves to me. "Where am I in the world?" And I am the one with the Juris Doctor Degree.

[@shinebabyshine.]

@@taraarrington2285 yes I noticed my covert narc sister would compete with who could ready the fastest, who could put their shoes on the faster, who could pump gas faster. Anything and everything

[@theperfectautumn8781]

Got two of these...older and younger brothers. Growing up with them, I am convinced that narcissists are "made" rather than "born" that way. Weak, sinister narcissistic father and a passive mother couldn't get along [no surprise] and therefore [at different stages in our lives] turned to us kids for emotional support and strength...but two parents, [as much as they couldn't get along], never emotionally separated from each other. So, we kids became the buffers that allowed our parents to stay together, even though they couldn't make it with each other.

[@taraarrington2285]

I think it's statistically proven that the golden children usually become narcissistic

[@fifilafleur5555]

@@taraarrington2285, yes!

[@mightyobserver12]

Same

[@stellarose5630]

I deal with many people who have these qualities, family or otherwise. They have hurt me in many different respects, I am currently working on my personal growth 🙏🏻

[@bethharvey5170]

I appreciate you so much- it’s important to have therapists who understand narcissistic abuse- who can educate others and empathize with the pain of losing one’s family.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

Thank you! Very glad this is helpful to you. More coming on this topic in 2024. It's a subject we need more of.

[@fifilafleur5555]

@@TherapistTamaraHill, yes please!!! 💯💯💯

[@fifilafleur5555]

A guy I once dated, who I believe is a malignant narcissist, once told me my abusers (half sister & her mother) want me dead. Literally. I will never forget him telling me that. It was so hard to wrap my head around. But someone like him recognized his own kind and told me their punishment for the harm they have caused me… is just being who they are. They have to live with themselves every day. I have never forgotten his words.

[@auntchristina]

My sister seduced and had sex with my first boyfriend and didn’t feel bad at all. It traumatized me. She later in life was just awful, told people I made up that I was in hospital. But the latest was I loaned her money because she came over crying, I asked when she would be able to pay me back a few months later- she then accused me of owing her money. She made up stories that I owed her money to feel better not paying me back. Then she gave me half of it back a year later and said it was because she has integrity. She is just a cruel person. I really tried to have a relationship with her, moved to Texas from my beautiful home in CA to be closer to her and her kids. I’ve helped her and her kids so much financially that any money she mad up that I owed her would have by far been surpassed. She has proven to just be the same cruel person from when we were little. Ungrateful, selfish and just straight mean. It hurts a lot and sickly I miss her. 😢

[@stillToxed2loss]

I read several of the comments. My heart goes out to you. I’m also a little relieved😬 its not just me. I have an extremely dysfunctional family. Two narc parents (divorced when I was 13), 1 brother, 4 sisters. I’m 3rd from the top and the scapegoat. I’m 63 now. Its taken me decades to work through my issues. Some of it still baffles me. I went no contact long ago but have given them the opportunity to reconnect if they can behave decently. I have one sister that is doing the same thing. We get along. The one I wanted to share about was the golden child. We recently tried to reconnect. It started well (love bombing), then the snide, jealous comments started coming out! There were a couple of really weird things that this video was helpful with. She co-opted my life! I should point out right here I don’t have a great life. I can’t think why anyone would want it! I was hated by my mother and ridiculed constantly. This sibling started telling me the horrible things that our mother “did and said” to her, only it was me they were really done and said to! As an adult things started going better but then I got pesticide poisoned in 1996. I’m multiply and severely disabled. This sibling started claiming those things as well! I am married and my husband has stuck by me; rare for people in my condition. I have 2 grown kids and 5 grandkids. I don’t get to see them much, I’m forced to live in isolation. They come visit when they can. My sibling, married and divorced 3 times, 3 kids, estranged. So I invited her to come visit. I explained the protocols necessary to not harm me. She did pretty good but she kept flirting with my husband. Offering to cook for him, make him pies. I found it wierd and offensive. When she left, she forgot something in a place I can’t go due to my disability. She got vicious and snarky because I couldn’t go look for it. When my husband next came, he went and checked. It was there. She made a huge deal about how he was a hero and being snide to me. Not a big deal really, just weird. Anyway she was going to reward him with a pie… I put my foot down. It was the same triangulating behavior our mother always did with her 1st husband! Needless to say huge blow up. No contact. This video clicked, jealousy. Thank you Tamara.

[@transformationwithmax4930]

Family does not equate to love! Sometimes an outside influence can corrupt the family dynamic. Such as; the spouse of a son or daughter, mixing two different family experiences can spell disaster! Ultimately it is a test for control or divides and conquer for control. A parent or grandparent cannot counter this dynamic without major consequences Sometimes we have to let the divider, and the person that we love go! In hopes that the person that we love comes to their senses, or not!

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

Well said! Agree.

[@Abulina09]

My sibling is on a power trip to divide and conquer the family. She wants to control our parents through victim mentality, and wants everyone to pity her and take care of her while pushing me out the picture and spreading lies on me because I'm very loved in my family. It's really sickening

[@mattmachinecity9483]

I think I'm going through this as we speak

[@mightyobserver12]

Oh samE!!!! Creates confLict and draMA

[@sirrantsalott]

I have 4 jealous siblings out of 6 because I have a Self, have the courage to be financially independent on my own, and I’ve become way more successful than them, emotionally, intellectually, and practically.

[@starlitestarbright514]

My twin brother is a narcissist and an alcoholic. He has always abused me ever since we were kids. His life is in ruins, but he thinks that he has magical powers. He has a KZbin channel, and all he does is complain about me. I have a " no contact order" against him. I will no longer let him mess with me anymore. EVER !!!!!

[@starlitestarbright514]

Edit: He gets horribly drunk on his channel and it's cringy.

[@makaylahollywood3677]

Middle child, first girl born in a family of ten- all loved by mom and dad, favorites of course, NPD father, jealous siblings, scapegoat, triangulation, some closeness & betrayal- a cult-like underground relating...honestly, I tried so hard to fit in- walked out after parents passed. I miss the family I don't know how to love...without getting hurt.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

I'm so sorry. It sounds like you have a genuine heart to love your family but the dynamics are difficult.

[@nancybartley4610]

Your last comment, "I don't know how to love without getting hurt" says so much about how and why we struggle. Family is so important. I need/want them to matter. It seems it only matters to me. Is it love if it only flows one way? Or are we all refusing to accept that people have different outlooks, different ways of caring, different degrees of need? Am I expecting too much from my family? Do I expect them to live up to my expectations and standards and refuse to accept theirs? It has been a hard lesson to learn, but I finally came to the decision that I have to decide what kind of person I want to be and set boundaries based on who I am. If someone doesn't want me around, doesn't care enough about me to spend time with me, doesn't act in ways I consider loving and respectful, then I have to make a decision how to have that person(s) in my life. Do I only do holidays? Do I make routine calls to be sure they are ok? Do I do this without hoping for anything in return. It is an individual decision for each of us. I think many of us can do this because we do care. It is went we realize that we are deliberately being abused by "loved ones" who only think of us when they need something that we begin to question our determination to love them. Would we allow nonfamily to treat us this way? Would you spend a holiday with someone who despises you? It is at that moment that you begin to wonder why you disrespect yourself so much and why/where you got the idea that family matters.

[@SD-rm5ty]

Same..😢

[@jeanmm6823]

As I am becoming older, and becoming more confident in my strengths, I am now realizing the brunt of my childhood has revolved around narcissism. I’m nearing 40 and just now coming into myself. I knew my sister was not free of blame, however, now I can put a label to it and understand where she’s coming from. And where she can tell her self to shove it and also where I can go to find peace. I wonder where I would have been, had I not been covered so much in Kaka 💩 Peace unto those who need it.

[@bethharvey5170]

My 2 siblings and I married narcissists, but I’m the only one who was able to end my marriage and figure out how to have a decent life afterwards- my two siblings were unable to figure anything out, and are now miserable enough to bully me for being happy. They are horrible, bitter people that I’ve had to walk away from.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

I'm sorry you have to go through this. Not something I'm sure you expected to happen. Sounds like they really need to do their own work in therapy.

[@bygraceandmercy]

It's not too uncommon. People who stay in narcissistic marriages often envy those who can gather enough courage to walk away. Not everyone is brave enough. Go no or little contact with them if you can.

[@truth4utoda]

I didn't realize how much I needed this topic Tamara. Thank you

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

🤗 You're welcome

[@theshineprjct]

This is strange but I found out my younger sister is covert when she revealed a few years ago that she was seeing a psychic. I realized that she talked to the psychic about me and also asked her about my life and future. If she heard anything about where my life was headed,over time her rage and anger creeped up as passive aggressive statements hidden as jokes. Because we are half siblings,I wasn’t raised to create boundaries but her mom,who we were raised together with started telling her feelings on how my dad treated her or her opinions on how I live my life,started permeating into my sister and I’s relationship. She tried to hide her rage and ‘competition’ in recent years but for me,it started to look dangerous so I moved away to protect myself.

[@debbiewilson-obrien4350]

How about under-the-belt insults?

[@meibaola]

Thank you for the definition of antagonistic narcissist: I had never heard about it before and it fits my sister as a glove. I was feeling confused because I sensed narcissism in her but she didn't fit in any of the sub-types that I knew before. This finally explains it.

[@citizenkang2524]

The more I exert my financial and legal power over my severe narcissist sister to empath protect the family bag that my mother left us in trust and that my sister has exhibited all misfeasance and malfeasance under her watch, the more and more passive aggressive my sister becomes. This is the same sister that put my mother in two nursing homes, allowed our childhood home to be reduced to a near lean-to and played fast and loose with the proceeds from our our oil, saline and timber land. Before everyone discovered that my severe narcissist mother left me the controlling money, my sister allowed her two girls to talk to me any ole way. Rat has now got their tongues in the absence of a last will and testament and now that I've retained two attorneys to enforce my lord protecting of the family bag. And now, sister dearest is catching mail fraud and mail theft case with the U.S. Postal Inspector for having my mail forwarded without my authorization from my Chicago home that I'm restoring to code to her home in Washington, D.C.

[@a.y.7738]

The subject of Birth Order is very important. It breaks down the sibling dynamics in families. The youngest usually recruits the eldest to pick on the middle child. The oldest complies as they covet the youngest for attention.

[@shinebabyshine.]

Not so much. I’m the oldest of four, the truth teller/black sheep. The middle two are covert narcs. The youngest is the forgotten child

[@CremeBrulee543]

This information is so helpful and relevant. Thank u so much!

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

You're welcome! Very glad it is helpful to you 😊

[@transformationwithmax4930]

Dear Tamara, bless you and continue your powerful practice, and work.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

Thank you so much!❤ God bless you!

[@theshineprjct]

This is strange but I found out my younger sister is covert when she revealed a few years ago that she was seeing a psychic. I realized that she talked to the psychic about me and also asked her about my life and future. If she heard anything about where my life was headed,over time her rage and anger creeped up as passive aggressive statements hidden as jokes. Because we are half siblings,I wasn’t raised to create boundaries but her mom,who we were raised together with started telling her feelings on how my dad treated her or her opinions on how I live my life,started permeating into my sister and I’s relationship. She tried to hide her rage and ‘competition’ in recent years but for me,it started to look dangerous so I moved away to protect myself.My brother has big network of savvy street friends,he’s good at set ups and triangulation. He doesn’t like that I don’t fall for his schemes…..

[@bchristi82]

Oh man, I’m definitely walking away wondering if I’m the narcissist now… I have issues with jobs & interpersonal relationships but I also have a fair bit of trauma from scapegoat abuse.

[@n0ts0B9]

Scapegoats are always convinced that they're the problem. The relational issues at work are the scars. If you were the narc, you wouldn't even be asking yourself if you are.

[@noelc2]

If you’re asking if you are, you’re not.

[@renataperillo-p3z]

my sister is the opposite of what you describe, I am successful because I am very honest and worked very hard for 30 years! my sister purposely plays the victim so she can con and act like a victim to manipulate others and will call me the narcissist when she is a pathological liar and their

[@louisaa.4614]

OMG my sister is the vulnerable narc , you just described her to a T 🤨

[@lovelysosweet8386]

You was the golden child

[@mairinh84]

I love your channel it has really helped me heal. FYI you’re absolute stunning you should go into modeling. You have very unique features absolutely beautiful 🤩

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

Thank you so much 🤗 And welcome to the channel. Glad to have you.

[@cathygoltsoff9615]

Thank you for making this video.

[@roxanemarin5387]

My sister sounds like a narc. She started turning on me 8 yrs ago. Was confused so a long time but today I just need to stay away.

[@ezraspiritualandworldlygui8266]

I identify with what you are talking about as the beloved one. Thank you

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

Welcome!

[@sherry3935]

My sister is all the above. She’s a pathological liar too.

[@sorcerersupreme1327]

Gotta walk away but that doesnt stop the stalking and slandering 😅 walking away to them is like, oh ive got you now!

[@41yazz]

thank you I needed to hear this

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

You're welcome. Glad this was helpful to you!

[@HijadeDiosS.____..]

Is this way they cross boundries always like in cyber invadeing my phone? It very hurtful to accept/know Im not even loved as a sibling to those I love. Been dealing with so much though the yrs nd this add on. been dealing with it in silence for yrs...Ty for all the support/info u share with us. 💕

[@taraarrington2285]

It's so weird how they'll have people watching you when they're the ones who need to be watched

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

I'm so sorry to hear this. It's never an easy pill to swallow when it's your sibling. Our society teaches us that siblings are "everything" to us but the reality is that this is not for everyone.

[@lovesings2us]

Thank you! This really helped me.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

You're welcome!

[@SD-rm5ty]

I still have very much unresolved issues with my siblings. 😢😢😢 My siblings are so passive aggressive with me. They have no idea how much they have hurt me due to my defense mechanisms.😢😢I'm defective and disabled and disposable when one of them tried to abuse me sexually when we were younger, but I'm the one in the wrong I'm the one with the problem and delusional, instead of an apology my sibling told me he's a sociopath, I didn't believe it for a while but now in trying to dissect what my insecurities stem from I realize a lot of it has to do with them. 😢😢😢 My youngest sibling is a vulnerable narc and my oldest is a grandiose/ sociopathic narc. I fear mine are vindictive.

[@EvaPascual-z7b]

Thank You... I live with a Narcissist, my EX... We are separated...He is very sick because He fell, and had surgery, screws, and metal sheets are inside him... He cannot walk by him self yet... He asked me for help, and since April I've been taking care of Him, helping Him... He is both the one that puts the Masks according to the Plan ,and Manipulation of people, and their wealth, no Perception of others feelings, therefore Abusive... Has to be the center, envious, jealous,... Really, I'm on this Paradox... I would like to not be in this mission anymore, but I feel that if I leave He will be destroyed, in the first place by him own self, or by those others that are going to be surrounding him, that are sociopaths... These people are now more apart, because I'm present... Also, the House where we live was divided into 2 Parts by a Wall when we separated years back,... But when He asked me for help, the wall was put down... I would never want to be back, to be so close to him, ( He also has drug issues M........ ), but He is sick also because of the Surgery in the Spine, and having a very slow recuperation... There are occasions when I really get really frustrated, Rick bottom , and feel trapped, and when apart from him I cry from the bottom of that place that is very deep beyond the physical Heart... All my plans are down, and it is still difficult for me the acceptance of this situation, that at the beginning of it I thought it would last shorter, or at list that He would be more easy to deal with, because I thought he would turn more as a reasonable person, because of needing so much help... He has turned actually worse... My inner situation is that I'm in constant frustration dealing with him, and always navigating the situations trying to give the best of me... but he doesn't give up his distorted personality, and I don't know if this would ever end, and for He to be safe enough to re-do His life some how, and of course more safe, and Healthy for Me too, being able to move on.

[@fifilafleur5555]

Yes, I have a younger half sister like this. I have chosen to have nothing to do with her. Her mother (my dad’s third wife) enjoys pitting her against me. My dad goes along. I keep my dad at arm’s length now. His wife is out like their daughter. I refuse to play their sick games. I’ll never go back.

[@shawshank6015]

Loving each child a certain way is called Favouritism. What happened to just loving your kids

[@christinecronk9234]

Yup true stuff❤

[@carynpercell8979]

How to narrow down exactly which one they are? Every description resonated as behaviors I’ve had to deal with. I finally had to go no contact and have spent 5 years in weekly therapy. Unfortunately, no contact has been only since August of this year. The damage with the smear campaigns and lies affected literally every area and every relationship I had. My world shrank and the ones that I didn’t think would ever engage with her or her lies did and ghosted me. Friendships and family of 35+ years and family friends I’ve know my whole life, 56 years. Couple that with grief, childhood trauma, and full time caretaker for sick and elderly parents has left me an absolute shell of who I was.

[@Mizzpinkperfect]

But I don’t want a relationship with my siblings tho

[@Iamsam-jl5fn]

Everything about my life growing up was a lie. Everything.

[@faithtsadik5777]

Hi Tamara, What happens if the other person is lazy and does not want to work as hard and go higher in life as the other sibling? Should all siblings stay poor and live in misery to make peace and have a relationship? Sorry, I don't understand, I have to watch this video again.....

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

That's a tough dynamic indeed. You really have to have your own road carved out for you by staying focused, maintaining your own motivation, and setting healthy boundaries with that less ambitious sibling. Finding common ground doesn't mean compromising your standards, success, etc.

[@Starstorm111]

Im struggling. I’m the old one 32, she’s 24. We had an extremely abusive family and malignant mother. We both were adopted by diff families. We met again after 11 years. I was so happy. After 8 ys in touch with other.. I received some cruel comments from her I can not keep out of my mind. I am an artist and have a public persona.. for me is not a big deal. I found my sis sharing personal info on social media about our family.. answering some “fans” questions.. making some hard comments to me like : “ how can you be so happy with the shiiity life you had? “ in a very cold arrogant way.. out of the blue. She would hide being in touch with our bio mother for a year and after she understood what kind of person she was, she told me ..: I did not believe you when you told me about our mother.. after a year talking with her now I do.. ( in a very cold demeanor ).. she would never appreciate openly how I cared or treated her when she visits me. She would come with me to a job trip where I thought she could find inspiration.. and she would say things like.. “ don’t you get bored??”… like what? We have love for each other , there kind a tension but there’s also love.. but there are this comments I don’t get. She would compare one of my ex partners who was an actor.. with another actor she liked and say something like: I find more attractive this one.. like what?? She was 16 at that time. She would appear seminude with a tinny tinny bikini with half of her boobs out in the kitchen when on holidays with my partner and friends.. she is gorgeous and smart but it felt kinda .. something was going on .. like what are you doing sleeping almost nude on the sofa?? (Top less) Like weird stuff… I would feel a energy that confused me like I don’t know if she loves me or is competing with me.. She would bring up things about my childhood out of the blue in front of others ( like .. do you remember when you were abandoned at that house??) during a breakfast with our partners.. like what? You were also abandoned but what’s the point??? I mean..Im confused but lately my gut is telling me not to talk to her and get away.. even if it hurts and I’m highly confused.

[@aztekkr]

Don´t know but covert, antagonistic, malignant and seductive narcissist oftentimes come together in my experience. And the covert has the ability to switch into a grandiose (Sam Vaknin talked once about it), by the power of alcohol. So many covert narcissists have like a redwine addiction or sth like that going on.

[@Blueflameintegration]

My parents took lots of pictures of my narc sister. There are very few pictures of me though.

[@nancyP7448]

Thank you

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

You're welcome

[@l3Ea-YoU-T-UB-eFuLL]

0:29 ditto!

[@Smartbeautifulawesome]

My siblings are mean for no reason but we’re half siblings and I don’t have anyone anymore idk. It’s super fake and abusive

[@marcelclover6650]

very good video.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

Thank you very much!

[@rebeccabecca1308]

Yes all but 1 sibling of mine is narcissistic 😢

[@lpelicanbrief60]

I don’t see where going into my room or office in the home is sibling rivary.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

It's all about the context. Let's say, for example, you live in the same house as your sibling and you retreat to your room every day for months because you don't want to look at or talk to your sibling, that's sibling rivalry. You may even retreat to your room and refuse to say hi to them if you cross paths in the hallway.

[@anneagena8236]

Idc not giving her sh$t and don’t owe her nun she’s just like her mother. She waste her money shop don’t care about me but. Me I’m supposed to give her food and take care of her he’ll no.

[@mightyobserver12]

Delusion of grandeur

[@TaneshaBeverly]

She is so insecure and thats why people control her life so much so weak grow up and she should've left her face alone.

[@BaeBe-tz5nk]

Moms oldest Two younger sister's are covert 2 younger brothers are malognant/Sociopathic

[@chriswalls5831]

Notice they were jealous

[@truth4utoda]

My husband is dealing with this right now. I just spoke with you about this. It is so sad

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

It's a very difficult dynamic indeed.

[@alwaysyouramanda]

The picture not being there got me 😢😢😢😢

[@bbjoyce-je1vx]

Thank You so much for this video. My sibling is vicious. She looked up to me as a kid. She was a joy to be around. But when she grew into a young adult, she and our mother teamed up and bullied me constantly. Growing up, people said I was the pretty child. She didn't mind hearing that about me when she was young. As she grew up, her & our mom had formed an alliance against me. I minded my own business. She & mother accused me of being selfish, and stealing attention. I was not doing this. But they kept bullying me. I was receiving the attention they both wanted but didn't get. I figured that was why they were aggressive towards me. To this day, they both lie about me to others. Sibling became a minister like I used to be. She started looking down on me by chastising me with indirect insults geared to showing her superiority over me. I did not think or behave that way when I was a minister. They still get angry now when I get compliments about my appearance. She had her young children walk up to me and say..." You're not the pretty one, our mom is". She was smirking as they said it. She knows she is not very attractive and I do not understand her level of treachery, vindictiveness and viciousness. I didn't do anything to my mom & sibling. She is always trying to one up me. I have gone " no contact" last yr. She is very arrogant , bitter and angry at me. She used to try to imitate everything about me. I thought she was a friend, but it is very difficult to be around her and my vicious, scheming, plotting mother. They both scheme and plot against me and it has made my life difficult. I catch her standing off watching me when we attend social events. It is really creepy. Thank You so much for this clarifying video.

[@peaceandquiet62]

I experienced the same thing from my sister and mother. They formed an alliance against me. Just like you I am considered the pretty one. The emotional abuse has broken my heart. Just wish I could go back in time and go no contact as a young adult.

[@fifilafleur5555]

Living it too.

[@Abulina09]

You hit the nail perfectly on the head with this entire post!!!! I have literally sabotaged my appearance so as to not feel more beautiful than my sibling and parent who visibly want to be the prettiest and most successful. They've even gone as far as try to gain sexual attention from my spouse, which is just repulsive and so desperate in my opinion! Even though I know I shouldn't sabotage myself, somehow I'm still in a trance of "staying in my place" and doing my best to be less than them to stroke their ego and remain unhurt by them or not to make them feel less than. It's a viscious cycle that I'm trying to figure out how to break out of, because although I'm trying my best to stroke their ego and make them feel superior, they couldn't care less about how I feel - both them and an aunt of mine are like this- and their spouses are too weak to stand up to them, so all three of them are just tyrants in the family. It's a generational curse that started with my grandmothers being resentful because of their inadequacies and then it trickled down to their daughters and grandaughter. I have tried my best to keep my distance to recover and gain strength without feeling guilty for succeeding or as if I will be threatened or knocked down because I win, but it's so hard, knowing that there's likely smear campaigns going on against me behind my back because I'm the one who financially knew how to take care of myself, and I used to take care of all of them but decided not to and now they're even more resentful. It's a hard road, but I pray everyone working for a better tomorrow will see it one day ❤‍🩹

[@bygraceandmercy]

If you ignore them consistently for long enough you will conquer them. Grow yourself some thick skin to the point where nothing they ever do or say makes you react. You respond wisely where there's need. Otherwise, you just ignore, ignore and ignore. CTL + ALT + DEL....REPEAT. Make them irrelevant and that'll disarm them.

[@proudtobeanamerican]

Grandiose sociopath for sure.

[@marcelclover6650]

you should have more Subs & Suds in your Tub