Am I Lazy, Depressed, or Burnt Out?

Honestly, I'm not always certain about this question as it pertains to my life. Sometimes I'm like Kati, you're just burned out and you need a break. And other times I can find myself beating myself up for being too lazy or unmotivated and getting stuck into the compare and despair cycle. And then sometimes I'm like Kati are you depressed? Or Kati are you sad in your life right now or sad in general? Or Kati are you simply burned out on life? What is it? Am I lazy? Am I sad? Am I depressed? Am I burnt out? Do I need a break? Let's talk about this some more... because I see a lot of comments with people confusing and unsure what they really are. The truth is we may be depressed or sad and that may lead us to feeling lazy or overwhelmed - but let's talk about what those signs and symptoms are. Because, we can also be so hard on ourselves sometimes, or at least I know that I can, and I hope that this video helps you better understand that just because someone else looks like they're doing X, Y, Z we may be doing a different version of X, Y, Z or our personality type may not act that way.
Sharing my depression story for the first time... • Sharing my depression ...
My burn out story on feeling burnt out: • I need a break...
Six must know signs and symptoms of depressions: • The 6 Must Know Signs ...
More Kati Unfiltered: • I need a break...
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[@Katimorton]

Sharing my burn out and depression stories at the links in the description. Sending you all ❤️.

[@shakurwonders5216]

Thanks. I just feel like i have a hole in my heart that never gets filled however much i try. i didn't grow up with health family. i faced trauma and felt unlovable and probably my social awkwardness is due to past bullying and being treated shitty.

[@shakurwonders5216]

Hope u feel better Kati

[@josieseeger8387]

Thank you so much for how you phrased this. I was having so much mom guilt i have been a single mom since i found out i was pregnant during my second trimester, thats how i realised i had been baby trapped. I also have very strong ADHD and then a pregnant single mom to be at 23 and now im almost 30 and im still doing it all alone full-time and i finished my care aid certification without help and i was feeling guilty for not giving my son 110% of my time anymore and that i was getting snippy and feeling bad that i have no friends that a local my son's god mom comes to visit twice a year for 2 days and i drive 5hrs to get her and 5hr to bring her to our house and this is the entirety of my social life. I guess i was just used to it but couldn't see that it was burning me out because i kept telling myself things like be grateful you dont have his dad in your life, be grateful he is healthy, be grateful that you can scrounge enough to give him every thing he wants i one time ate one package of ramen a day and gave him fresh local fruit and veg for 4 months so i could make a payment plan to get him the bike get really wanted so he could be like grandpa. I guess it never occurred to me that this was not enough to fuel me😅

[@SurferJoe1]

I've discovered you fairly recently, and I know I'm not the only person here who worries about you. I wish we were all able to give back to you any part of what you've given of yourself for more than ten years. But I know you have access to the greatest support person in the world, which is Kati Morton. You are utterly extraordinary. Re-learn that every day and you'll be fine.

[@j0.ZEF-Who]

enjoy BBQ country

[@user-ti3wk6zs1r]

Am I lazy, depressed, or burnt out? Me: Yes.

[@kenrickbautista6141]

I'm never lazy. I just believe I'm either depressed or burnt out, but sadly, nobody, not even my own parents, can see that.

[@MonicaAtkins]

My family is same way, nothing wrong with me to them, talked about getting medicated and they got mad at me.

[@talithialee9608]

Same!

[@brittanywilcox7377]

My brother was diagnosed with the most severe form of major depressive disorder there is, and my parents STILL called him lazy everyday growing up. I feel like I have second hand trauma just from that

[@kenrickbautista6141]

@@brittanywilcox7377 it's like Will Smith says: "Parents just don't understand".

[@MalMotorDedo]

Idk your age nor your parents age, but they don't know everything. They're also behind the curve when it comes to this type of stuff, because, most of the times, older ppl don't really care or even think this is "real". They also may be frustrated w the things that are happening. At the end of the day, it's all in your hands. You don't need your parents validation. Do your thing, if it works, they won't doubt anything you say afterwards.

[@孤独の観測者-o7e]

I'm burnt out to a crisp, yet I'm not willing to do anything rewarding because it fills me with overwhelming guilt. "How can I do this enjoyable thing when I need to be doing all these urgent/important things I've been putting off for months!?" is what it feels like, and despite me knowing that this makes zero sense because if I don't do anything enjoyable I'll just keep being burnt out and will put off the important stuff for even longer, I'm still not willing to do anything rewarding. It's so frustrating.

[@Solonneysa]

Hey, I can relate. For me, I'll try to do something rewarding, and won't be fully "present" for it, so it isn't restful, and then I'm even more upset that I wasted my time. Something I've tried to do for myself (and yeah it doesn't always work, but it does work most of the time): I have a monthly planner/calendar. It's a private book. I write down 3-5 things I want to get done that day. Sometimes I have more than 5. I pick minimum of 3 to complete. The rest get moved to the next day. I check off each one I complete. It helps me feel of that "I'm not getting anywhere" feeling. Sometimes all I get are "3 loads of laundry, mop the house, cook a meal." But hey, it's something. I did get some things done.

[@polinanikulina]

How about the tiniest thing? Something quick and simple, just enough to breathe in and out. When I went through something similar, watering the plants was something I looked forward to. It had to get done anyway, but I made it a "productive break."

[@seekermoonwolf]

Small things truthfully help the most. I tend to have a checklist of stuff I need to do and I was able to just start with the simplest, even if it was brush my hair in the morning, kinda made it domino into other things.

[@孤独の観測者-o7e]

@@Solonneysa That's a good idea! I should probably start writing down things again, maybe it'll make me feel like I'm making progress at least. I do usually manage to cook something and brush my teeth on most days, at least.

[@孤独の観測者-o7e]

@@polinanikulina Well, for me even the thought of doing something is too much to bear, usually, so I have to block out my thoughts with distractions. Tiny things take almost as much effort to start as big things, but feel less rewarding when you finish them, so that usually doesn't work for me :((

[@yolandapedraza115]

For me, it's just being overwhelmed. Ever since I was little, my parents told me that if I got good grades, that the universities would pay me to study for them (scholarships). And so I got the good grades. I graduated in the top 7% of my class with a 3.7 gpa. Well, I started applying for scholarships just like they always said I would be able to do, but I kept getting rejected for each and every single one. The only one I got was an academic scholarship for 4k a year that I didnt even apply for. So I went to college and I again, graduated at the top of my class 3.8 gpa.. but now I have a bunch of student bebt that my good grades during high school were supposed to eliminate completely. And yall know adults always said that if you go to college, you'll be able to find a good job.. that it's the only way that people find good jobs. Well now I'm applying to job after job after job and getting rejected from every single one. 16 years of hard work and absolutely no reward at all.

[@zr_1234]

I am going through the same thing. Good grades, was involved in academic extra-curriculars in college yet no job.

[@krembryle]

@@stratelite1337 what can you do with SQL knowing person? Having them write various SQL selects for 8 hour straight?

[@Jalentheuntold]

Same and I have a masters :/. I got a scholarship but it was one they give to everyone with good grades and another one was a place I worked and college costs so much so I still had to take out loans. I have a job but I’m not making the pay I thought I would be making. Well I am but the cost of living changed so I’m really living paycheck to paycheck and I hate my job. Love the company but not the work so I’m having a quarter life crisis although I’m 26.

[@alannaiscoolio]

You will. Student debt definitely sucks and you're definitely not alone. Hopefully moving forward you can find a life you enjoy, not one your parents push you towards! I think that's a worthy goal to move toward.

[@Heyu7her3]

It worked when they went to college, which is unfortunate for us. That's why it's important to lower the cost of school. It's also important to ensure that all high school students have multiple access points to knowledgeable and licensed adults who know the nuances.

[@taylorschahn5596]

You are the best therapist I've ever had and you're not even my therapist. 😂

[@nikkimckay860]

Taylor Schahn. I completely agree with you Kati is an amazing therapist caring and supportive very open-minded and vulnerable at the same time she dose such helpful and interesting important mental health video s and also shares her own struggles and life issues with us I haven't had a therapist like her ❤

[@Pentax47]

this! I feel like these videos are so often perfectly timed for when I need to hear them.

[@alischi4858]

as a therapist specialized in burnout, I love this video and your reccomendations. I would just add one thing: if you are experiencing burnout, the first thing you experience is exhaustion, so you might not have the cognitive energy to start thinking about your situation, identifying the risk factors, looking for solutions, etc... before starting to look for a therapist or a psychiatrist or all the answers you need, please REST. This is the first reccommendation in burnout clinic. Intense therapy can burn you out even more when you're exhausted... please rest first, get some energy back, and then when you have some mental and physical energy back, then go get active help

[@karinapena1567]

is it possible to be emotionally burnt out? I think I may be experiencing that but I can't be certain. I feel so tired, emotional about a situation, stuck etc... I want to get out of it but I feel so tired!

[@realtalk4994]

What if rest does nothing?

[@user-ivvuser-iv2ms2zq6c]

​@@realtalk4994you're not resting properly

[@Auntmona]

What is rest?

[@anythingchannel9326]

How can you rest when everyone has to work to live

[@kristinyaekelnegley3978]

It’s hard to balance everything in life. There is so much. And if we don’t take care of ourselves, we will get burned out, and then we really won’t be able to do more. I wish the whole world would just slow down a little.

[@laurapriedite4951]

Why did this make me cry? I was holding it together pretty well. But "do I suck at life?"... I don't know what happened and now I can't stop crying

[@KishBish]

Felt.. I really wish I had made better choices in my youth which would have prevented some of what I'm facing now.. I see others thriving, and I'm like wow.. maybe I do just kinda suck at this 😔🙏🏽

[@eRoTiCCrEaTiOnS]

Thank you for sharing. I was crying about this at work on my break literally yesterday. You are not the only one feeling this way. And thank you Kati for this video because I am realizing that I am incredibly burned out from work and my coping mechanisms are putting me in a downward spiral. So, there are two things I need to address 😅

[@polinanikulina]

It's okay to cry, you probably needed to. I can only speak for myself. So for me it's the fact there's something to "hold together" in the first place. Self-doubt and judgement are a symptom, but they're only really helpful as red flags.

[@fifteenbyfive]

Sounds like you've been feeling hard on yourself lately Laura. People who cry, people who are hard on themselves sometimes, those are the kind of people I'd want as friends. A few of the videos on this channel melted my face off. I guess it was the sight of someone else answering profound questions in my life that I could never answer myself. I think though that even asking the right question is all it might take.

[@E.Cerulean]

*virtual hug* Cry if you need to, it's part of healing.

[@kiwiskiwi]

I think I've had burn out for years, but growing up was always called lazy from my own family... so I never took my needs seriously. I worked 70 hour weeks at times in the film industry, but there was always that voice telling me if I stopped and took care of my needs, I was lazy. Finally said to work I had to do a doctors appointment this week and took the time for me. Took me a long time to learn that taking basic care of my health needs isn't being selfish or attention seeking.. or lazy.

[@DrMacca]

"Am I Lazy, Depressed, or Burnt Out?" Yes

[@EscenceOfEvan]

This is definitely an area I've been struggling with a lot lately. I could time my meals right through the day, go the bed super early, set myself up as much as possible and even be happy about it, and then I'm still constantly fighting myself to get out of bed. It can just be so aggravating trying to wake up and feel good and find purpose, and to be struggling to do that when I set that intention. I could even have a bad dream I don't want to fall back into, but I'll still end up snoozing because I'm just so tired. And I know I struggle with depression. I feel like I'm always fighting myself on whether I'm unable or unwilling. Even if I get the right amount of sleep, going to bed and waking up are the times my mind is talking shit the most. Thank you for this Kati. Your videos always help me gain perspective on these things.

[@Nicana68]

I'm severely depressed, unmotivated and lazy. I just can't find anything inside me that I care enough to make an effort to achieve anymore. It's over for me and there's nothing to look forward to.

[@lauramarzen7081]

I'm the same way..i can't afford to enjoy anything and have no interest in " free" things like libraries..i wake up to the same brick wall everyday. just wanted you to know you're not alone❤

[@marenomorgan]

This is really helpful. I find myself getting really easily annoyed when people need things from me lately. Like I feel like I have so much on my plate, and I am so easily frustrated by people's requests. I also find myself struggling a lot with motivation and distraction, and on top of it, I'm realizing all of these mental health/trauma things that I know are really getting in the way of my success. It just feels like the work never ever ends. I am absolutely burnt out.

[@Jewels_8404]

Listening to you saying how you want to get up earlier and then you came to the conclusion that you’re just not a early morning person. This made me think about how I buy a lot of makeup and hair products because I want to do my makeup and hair everyday and look like I’m put together…. But I’m just not that person who’s going to do makeup and hair everyday let alone once a week. I’ve been trying to be someone I’m not for years now and I’m down on my self because I never accomplish it. I’ve been working against myself.

[@Solonneysa]

I refuse to wear makeup. Especially after all this stuff coming out about heavy metals in products. I used to play with it for fun, and now I just won't touch it. If someone wants to wear it because they love it, then that's great! But if you don't love it, my gosh, Jodi, please don't feel like you need to wear it to look, "put together." If a person thinks you need to wear makeup, and would judge you for it, they aren't going to be happy no matter what makeup you wear, anyway. We spend money we don't have, to do things we don't want to do, to try to make other people (that we don't like) happy.

[@jkgarri]

65 years old and never knew what was wrong with me in relationships, depression, overeating, etc, until I watched your video on childhood emotional neglect. Thank you.

[@Mifititi]

The lazy part rang true to me, and it's a word that people always view in a negative light. I like how you brought up the "why". Why am I being lazy? Why am I unwilling to do things? I never thought about the reasons for it, but it seems like that is exactly what I need to do. Thank you for that suggestion!

[@Kronus_Music]

I really needed this. I've been feeling this way for a while now for the same reasons. A bit of a wake up call that I'm not alone and to be easy on myself. Thanks for posting.

[@brittanywilcox7377]

I love this video, Kati! I personally don't believe there's any such thing as laziness- just low motivation. If by definition, laziness means you're unwilling to do something, that sounds like a motivation issue. Looking into what will motivate someone in a healthy way will remedy this issue entirely.

[@siennaprice1351]

I have Septo Optic Dysplasia, which caused me to be born totally blind and it caused a few other things. I’ve been told that I was lazy because I can’t find a job. A lot of places in my area don’t have the resources for blind people, and that’s why I don’t have a job. I’ve been told that I’m just using blindness as an excuse. In other words, I’m hearing, “get a life. Oh, you’re blind? Cry me a river. You can still get a job.” Which some of this may be true, what people really need to realize is that there aren’t a lot of resources at places for those who are blind. My dream is to be a musician, which I know I can get that. I’m working on that one.

[@Mountain-Man-3000]

Holy hell, the people that said that to you need a swift kick in the head.

[@elodiepollock7326]

That must be really frustrating :( good luck on your musical endeavours!

[@venessajoy7970]

My heart goes out for you♥️. You don't need to prove your worth by what you do anyway, you are so much worthy of all good things! Do what you love.

[@ellebee3998]

Your state has a Dept of Rehabilitation for the Blind. They got me a job.

[@siennaprice1351]

@@ellebee3998 are you talking about Bosma? If so, I’ve been there before. The only problem is, it’s like an hour drive from where I live. And my mom Hass to work throughout the week. But I’ve heard of the hotel that you can stay in. My friend knows a lot about it. My husband and I are both totally blind.

[@sunflowerfields4409]

I have found that when there are a lot of things that overwhelm me, it's not just ONE thing, it's everything all together. If it were one of those things by itself, (and nothing else were going on) it would still be overwhelming, but wouldn't send me spiraling out. Suddenly, nothing makes me happy. It's SO hard to juggle so many things at once. Thank you for differentiating between unwilling and unwanting.

[@polinanikulina]

The definitions were really helpful! Growing up, laziness wasn't a feeling or a behavior, it was a character flaw. So I didn't recognize my burnout until I couldn't function because it didn't make sense: I was motivated and I liked the things I studied but undiagnosed ADD made me do loads of extra inefficient work. I only recognized the depressive stage because that's what I knew from biology class.

[@laurawallace8227]

This made so much sense to me! I had a similar childhood

[@SurferJoe1]

I'm an extreme night person (autism spectrum), and I've spent a lifetime having people tell me that's a wrong way to be, lecturing me: being up and at 'em at seven A.M. is morally superior. When I've worked on staff and needed to be in at eight or earlier, I've been able to do it, but if I'm freelancing I'll gravitate towards all-nighters. One client decided to "teach me a lesson" about this by calling- insistently- at eight sharp every morning for a progress report on work that was not due for days. I had a loud antique phone right by my bed, which was very hard to unplug from my answering system, and this became a severe torture as I had often just gone to sleep and also have really bad insomnia. I asked him to move that call (if it was even necessary) to the afternoon and he lectured me about the virtue of being like him and his wife. He said he would continue to call bright and early, every morning, for my own good. Finally I got the phone unplugged. When I delivered the job- right on time and nicely done- he revealed that since I was missing his wake-up calls he had given the assignment to someone else, without telling me, and I would not be paid. To teach me a lesson. But now that he had made his point, he had more work for me. He was astonished when I declined it, and more so when he brought up future work and I asked him to never call me again. To him, I was a bad apple.

[@dustydew]

You described my life. Thank you for showing us we're not alone.

[@SurferJoe1]

@@dustydew We all have that feeling- 'it's just me, I'm the only one'- and it never is.

[@stp8745]

that is so stupid of him; how is your sleep schedule any of his business? all he needs to worry about is the work that you give him, it's not his place to lecture you and project his own way of life onto you. i'm sorry you had to deal with that, how shitty.

[@SurferJoe1]

@@stp8745 Yeah, absolutely. When you freelance work for people, they think they rent your dignity and autonomy too, but also, morning people think they are superior and need to be emulated, don't they? Thanks for reading/listening. It felt good to tell that story to people who get it.

[@badcaseofstripes]

I work freelance as an autistic artist as well and one thing I learned from the very beginning, is that I have to stand up for myself no matter what, because nobody else will. I do not accept unruly clients who want to micromanage me or change the plans without my consent, or people that want to be overly involved in the process that I take, I give them a timeframe and I deliver on said timeframe every time. I have very good clients that have supported me for a long time. I've also had my fair share of clients that are just assholes and don't even appreciate what it takes to do what I do. Or who have rushed me and tried to get me to show them the piece before it's even close to done, so I gave them an unfinished work. I do not accept people stressing me out for money. So if someone comes to me with an idea I just don't like, or I feel I wouldn't be motivated/able to deliver what they want I just decline. Even if I like the idea and can easily deliver, if they treat me poorly I will cut it off immediately and refund them. I have always taken payment in full before I ever even lift my finger for the client. I'm definitely not going to work for 2-4 weeks straight on a piece that someone isn't going to pay for, and I built up a trust system with my clients where they know the kind of work I can deliver and they can trust that I will get back to them with what they wanted and communicate effectively. I hope you find better clients, they are out there! Don't accept poor treatment from mean and nasty people! I'm sorry for what you experienced, nobody deserves that kind of bullying!! The glory of working from home or as your own boss is that you get to dictate your own schedule and nobody can tell you shit! Best of luck.

[@Dblue7753]

I'm the sole caregiver for my mom with mild Dementia and mobility issues and I am in physical pain with my knee so yep I'm burnt out. thanks, Kati for the definition of LAZY because that really helped me realize that i am NOT unwilling to do many things i just can't do it. Hugs from Toronto, Ontario, Canada

[@csillafleischman1880]

"Do I just suck at life?" Yes. Absolutely. I do. And I'm saying that having been thinking about it for years. I don't understand most adulting things, because they make no sense to me, and I suck at complying with things I don't understand

[@crystalbutterfl]

Thank you for your honesty. It helps to know that I’m not the only person wrestling this lazy/depressed/burnout issue.

[@robertstanley9633]

Oof! Literally me earlier this year. I realized a change in my body and energy, I was no longer motivated to go to the gym and do all the upkeep I did previous year. It feels like the five stages of grief. I finally came to an acceptance stage where I prioritize rest more ( Rest Is Resistance ) and that my body will go through some changes, but to be at peace with it. Anywho, thank you for coming to my TedTalk lol smh

[@susanferen3515]

Thank you Katie. I needed this today. I'm depressed and trying to do all the things ie take my meds, journal, meditate, take a walk. But it's so hard. I feel like I'm walking through quicksand. I know I'm not lazy and I'm not burnt out. Your video helped me to know how to differentiate.

[@isabellabihy8631]

Thank you, Kati, for the differentiation between laziness, burn-out, and 'plain ole' depression.Again, I've gone through a series of days without doing much. And the broken record of yackety-yack ("You're lazy" Replace lazy by any other "mood-lifting" adjective) keeps playing. I found the thought of not getting any appreciation (positive feedback) for what you do may make you burnt-out, very striking. One therapist once told me, my monthly salary is the appreciation. I had to swallow hard on that line. In addition, a few kind words might help. But if your supervisor is too tied up in pushing his own career, he doesn't really know what you're doing, even worse, doesn't know you as a person, how you tick, because it doesn't help him along, where is appreciation supposed to come from? I did get positive feedback from colleagues (not supervisors) which was nice, yet without impact. This episode is just one of many. I'm now in retirement and the strange exchange with my supervisor is years back, I still remember it minute by minute, it stuck. Later, I learned that the colleagues giving me feedback were also suffering from lack of feedback from their supervisors, they accepted the early retirement offers to save themselves. The differentiation you gave is going to be helpful to throw the broken record out. Thank you again, Kati.

[@Embtic]

This timing was incredible. Last week I put in an extended notice at work so I would have time to catch-up while also making sure nobody was blindsided when I left and there’s been so much relief since then

[@colleend80]

THANK YOU SO MUCH KATI. ANOTHER SUPER HELPFUL VIDEO. MY WHOLE LIFE I'VE BEEN FEELING HORRIBLE FOR BEING LAZY AND WEAK. NOW, I KNOW THAT I AM ON THE AUTISTIC SPECTRUM AND STRUGGLING WITH AUTISTIC BURNOUT AND CLINICAL DEPRESSION 😭💔⛈️

[@pubculture]

After finishing my theraphy I took a break from tour videos...I came back recently because what you're doing IS HELPFULL❤ and your videos make me feel less lonely 🥰 I appreciate you 🤗

[@amyspeers8012]

I really appreciate the “checking in” idea. I’m 2 months in on a stage 2b melanoma diagnosis. I’ve had several scans, one procedure and one surgery. I was doing great until the surgery. Now the smallest thing wipes me out! I find I don’t want to do the the thing I love-baking-as I’m am so tired afterwards. I have an appointment with my wonderful dermatologist to talk about this and to see about finding someone to talk to…who speaks English! Much love from France.

[@valodimopoulou8865]

Depression is not unwilling it's unable. That's printed in my brain.Thank you Kati!❤

[@PunkyNerd]

Yes! Thank you! This is so helpful. After getting a proper diagnosis, it’s been such a relief to have answers and be kind to myself (for the most part). I had a family member go down the list of things that could be causing my depression and anxiety. “Well, you need to open your curtains and get some sunshine. Do you go for walks? What about your vitamin D? How much caffeine do you drink?? That’s why you’re so anxious. Probably not actual anxiety. You should try eating cleaner.” 🤦🏻‍♀️ Not to mention a friend of mine that downplays my anxiety by telling me I’m not as bad as a family member of theirs. I handle activities with crowds of people really well, she says. No. I just don’t wanna show that I’m extremely uncomfortable, Incredibly down and not even enjoying myself while I hang out with friends. This is something I’ve had to come to terms with. That I have to be my own advocate because having a strong support system is not available to me right now.

[@kyliemyers4951]

You explained exactly how I feel & what goes on in my head. Thank you for making me feel normal.

[@benedixtify]

Please keep talking to us. It helps those of us dealing with the same issues to be able to empathize. Maybe go through it with you.

[@ancient87]

It's funny you should post this. I have been asking myself these few questions the last couple of months. I really found asking myself questions got me through to being burned out from work. Made me reset boundaries and expectations with my bosses so I could get out of the cycle.

[@davewallace5008]

I am truly burned out; coming from a violent upbringing, leaving home at 14 to live on the streets. Then getting a 'normal' girlfriend who understood me, we are still married 40+yrs on. I started plastering and had to labour for two plasterers mixing by hand, no machines. To say it was hard work would be a gross understatement! I worked hard every day for 4 solid years before I became a plasterer and then I mixed for myself and laid it on the walls ceilings. After a year or so I managed to get a labourer but he was useless and did not want hard work, just the money, so I got rid of him. Eventually I managed to get a team running with 2 plasterers and three labourers where we would go onto large constructions and take the huge areas, before leaving and going to another. Over 25yrs past and as I grew older my joints wore, muscles began to stiffen and inevitably I ended up completely knackered. By the age of 55 I was hard pushed to do half a days work and so I began to live on savings, my wife works at the local hospital placing cannulars and pic lines and has never complained as she saw how tired I became. It was partly the work but unbeknownst to me it was my nervous system that had taken a beating during my young life as a punching bag. Depression set in and with it came a whole slew of problems. Now at 65 I find it hard to even think of working let alone considering a job, of which I know I could not hold down. I am tired most of the time, hardly doing anything apart from the washing, vacuuming and so on, which my wife is more than thankful for, as she has been my rock. Being an opioid addict I find myself sometimes thinking about the days when I would clear 100 metres square a day and was paid handsomely for it, but no amount of work is worth your health. My back has about had it what with wear and tear over the years and pain relief via drugs brings it's own problems but in general I am happy as far as I can be. You make some good points and it makes sense when explained properly.

[@Jizzlewobbwtfcus]

OK! right off the bat after I typed this in the YT search Bar you were the third down and I IMMEDIATELY clicked! I feel I don't want to be around people anymore but I still wana do stuff. Over the last year I took a keen interest in wood-work. Why? I used to be an illustrator. Used to love drawing on a daily basis my whole life up until 5 years ago I lost my passion due to arthritis in my knees which spread to my hands. For me this was like someone pulling out my heart and taking a bite out of it. I felt part of my soul was gone. I feel you're the only therapist who actually KNOWS what I or many others go through when it comes to motivation & depression. Some may give good advice but just don't feel like they have first hand experience in any said matter, which although isn't always a pre-requisite in trying to help people but it does help when genuine and done in the right way. Thank you Kati, much love : ]

[@GK-qc5ry]

This couldn't have more of a coincidence, feeling this right now.

[@jinetrivera6653]

I like listening to you. When you say nobody has to tell you what to do to feel better. Because things don't work that way. They have no idea how or why you feel certain way. Sometimes they don't even care. That is very sad coming from your own family. Thank you.

[@laureenkarry2856]

Thank you for this. Your "check in" suggestions feel very relatable and doable. And I really appreciate you high lighting for us that we do hold our own answers. It's a matter of practicing checking in, and then believing what we discover (not necessarily believing what our "trash talking" thoughts tell us). Very helpful :)

[@GlasgowKel]

I slept most the way through the last 48 hrs because I literally tried to get up and COULDN'T. I thought I was lazy but I was literally unable to get up. Thank you for helping me label these needs differently.

[@Parkitloveit]

Katie, you are the best ❤That comes exactly the right time. I’m lying in my bed, unable to continue writing the blog post I wanted to write today, falling asleep over and over again. I know I’m not lazy, I have 15 YT channels and I love it. Do I still enjoy what I used to enjoy? Hiking, bathing in rivers, exploring new places 😢That’s actually what I’m not doing at the moment. I only did that during my holidays in April, but normally, I used to integrate hiking and explore into my day-to-day life. And I stopped doing that because I wanted to work more in the hotels at the reception to have more money to be able to afford going abroad more. And I see now that that’s the wrong way. Thank you for waking me up 🙏

[@anumohanamoorti6728]

One of the most realistic talks i have been witnessed for years.

[@anumohanamoorti6728]

Mine is burnout. Irritable behaviour. ask questions in your journals. Wonderful tips.

[@anumohanamoorti6728]

Also lazy 😢

[@katyalambo]

Thanks, I really needed this right now. I think I have been burnt out for years and because I had already been treated for anxiety and depression in the past figured it was the same thing and was treating it accordingly (including medication). I stopped taking the meds a couple months back when I realized I’m not depressed I’m just exhausted by everything. Over the past three years I’ve lost all my local friends and social outlets and have been becoming more and more isolated speaking pretty much only to my partner and sisters. I’m currently on leave from work trying to sort this all out and remember the person I used to be, but am often faced with those negative thoughts telling me I’m just being a lazy baby. Anyway, thanks again for making this video and helping to remind me I’m not a complete failure, I just need some time to rest and reset ❤

[@Eco_Hiko]

I needed to hear this today. Been feeling so bad because I've not been able to do a lot of things because I've injured my foot. Been so self critical and pushed myself to walk on a foot that possibly has a broken bone. I feel enlightened now but also like a bit of a twit.

[@johaniopperman]

Wow. Thank you. This opened my eyes to a whole new way of looking at myself and the way i react to situations. I too, will now start asking myself questions. I used to journal from two 'voices' me and then my 'other' me, if that makes sense. I would have full conversations with myself figuring stuff out

[@deonna_m]

I love your shirt! I also struggle with feeling lazy for not being a morning person. My natural rhythm is to sleep until 10am or 11am and I often feel ashamed to share that with anyone. The best I can do is 9am and I don't feel as sharp and often don't get as much accomplished unless it's routine things like house chores (things that don't take a lot of cognition). I also have some issues with reward and effort. I've often sacrificed financial rewards for other types of reward, particularly personal satisfaction and positive connection with others. Thank you for your videos! I find them very helpful!

[@RoyaleOpalite]

“You’re not unwilling. You’re just unable” Literally made me cry 😭

[@caddyman7725]

This was pretty interesting. For nearly a year now I've been struggling to figure this out. I used to enjoy working on and driving my old cars and working on my model planes, but now all I do is go to work, come home and eat and watch TV. I still do minimal chores as needed around the house, but that's it. I got a promotion at work in June last year to manager and I think it's stressed me out so bad I now have depression. Maybe I'm not lazy.....

[@oksanacrane8644]

Also make sure you don't have a sleep apnea. Lots of people have lack of energy, depression and other symptoms because of sleep apnea.

[@shaundavey5938]

"We all have the answers.We just have to listen..."How true,but so very hard to do when it is easier to look externally for answers.

[@purplelamington279]

Thank you so much! This video showed up in my recommendations, and it is what I was looking for without realising it. I've been really stressed at work the past couple months and the things I used to enjoy, I no longer do. At first I thought it was depression but ive had depression before and what I have now doesn't really fit that. Your video made me realise that it's burn out, I'm working so hard at work and with my family that it feels like it's never-ending and there's no reward anymore. I think I need a holiday to heal myself because I've been working non stop for a year now

[@LainorLean]

I just failed a subject and have to retake it again at college... I've never felt much more disappointed

[@LainorLean]

Update: Seems like I'm doing quite well lol

[@angelcollina]

Weirdly sometimes I feel like if my problem is a problem that lots of people have then it’s… not valid? in some way? Like I’m feeling burned out at work (pharm tech) because I’m just not making the money I need to to make ends meet. But I feel like everyone is dealing with this to some degree and it makes me feel like “See… I just gotta make it work then!”

[@mommyteacher2961]

Very helpful; thank you! I am definitely burnt out from teaching. I don't know what to do, but I do spend many lunch breaks and drives home crying. Feelings suck sometimes.

[@FatiguedButFabulous]

Love the combo of personal experience story time and some helpful advice, Kati! I often feel similarly bad about getting up early, even though I have chronic fatigue that makes it impossible to feel rested and mornings are the hardest time for me. Society definitely has us all tricked with that one!

[@neon_quest]

When you said reward it really resonated with me. The reward I'm working towards is so long term I don't see the point of working daily, so I've been feeling so stressed and sad. Maybe if I set myself a weekly or monthly reward I'd feel better. The idea of it definitely brightened something in my mind.

[@gabegh1478]

It is been a year since I « crashed». This is the worst and the best year in my life. You videos help a lot. I suggest also Mark Manson even if he’s not a licensed therapist. Thank you for your videos, and everything will get back in track eventually 👌🏻

[@Kat-xi4ef]

love your videos and honesty. I hope you're doing well Katy. I'm feeling burnt out and depressed every day... Taking up artistic school and working till 7pm turned out to be too much :(

[@elodiepollock7326]

I have recently graduated university and for the longest time i felt i was in a study burnout with all the distance learning. I feel like i am only now slowly coming out of it and feeling better. Its been a though few years indeed

[@smoozerish]

I had that too.....I was in a slump for months after completing my final exams and thesis....brain just needs to recharge i guess

[@rachaelharper3778]

I have iron deficiency which means I am tired all of the time (couldn’t get up everything felt impossible (even a shower). I was so hard on myself as I wasn’t going out. Going out going to appointments makes me feel more incontrol of my life progress. It felt like it was the point where I was going to die cuz I couldn’t do anything. I went to an appointment today and went for a walk walked by people which I had a massive amount of anxiety but by observing people realise that no one is really looking at you they are all doing their own thing ( I feel rlly awkward doing that. Srry thins is long 😂 thank you for this video Kati ❤❤❤

[@SHIVANGISINGHH]

Oh my goodness, this made me understand alot about me ! So basically I am not depressed cause' I enjoy doing things i used to enjoy , I am not lazy cause' I am still willing to do things ...I AM BURNT OUT ! I actually have been working my a** off since the last one year consistently and actually more than that not sure about the numbers but yeah and throughout everything I have noticed that I did feel great twice alot ! One was during a roadtrip I went with my friends, coming back from it made me an easy person and by easy I mean I had alot going at that time but still I was happy and had the courage to sort it all out and I did... Later I went on a one day trip with one of my favourite person and ngl , that whole month was a magical month for me .. I was soo happy inside out .. BURNT OUT MEANS NOT GETTING THE REWARDS OF THE LABOUR YOU PUT AND ! rewards doesn't mean money or overall financial rewards, it could be in the form of quality time, it could be in the form of being coonections, it could be in the form of new adventures or new cute experiences ! AND I CRAVE THAT ALOOT ! NY BODY FEELS EXCITED AND HAPPY WHEN THERE IS SOMETHING EXCITING TO LOOK FORWARD TO.. like anything that feels like satisfaction, comfort or in technical terms reward and not a burn out ❤

[@vangothengirl]

This needed to be said. I kept thinking to myself and telling those closest to me "maybe I'm actually just lazy". But when I really think about it there's so many things I want to get done and "should", but I'm just not going to be able to get it all done in one day or even in one week. I find even doing little things like taking the dog out, brushing my teeth, mundane things like that truly make a big difference. As someone who definitely has undiagnosed autism (and I'm quite unsure if I'll ever be properly diagnosed), I've realized I've only been hard on myself because a lot of people had high even unrealistic expectations of me and God forbid I didn't live up to that. Still learning to not let others opinions affect me negatively and trying not to let "shoulds" be the course of direction of my life and instead try to change those into "I get to's". I hope I explained that properly. I hope you all have a beautiful day 🌅

[@bozobarr]

Thank you for this. You had me LOL about trying to find a therapist and whether she would be weird or that you are weird. My heart hurts for you having left California. From where I'm sitting and have seen from you, I think it's been so hard on you. I hope it pays off in the long run - maybe it has for content? My partner, who is a morning person and a run-around-and-can't-sit-still person (very opposite me who is a night person that takes hours to feel ready to go to work), walked in while I was watching this video. She poo-pooed it all because, how I interpret her reaction, this is nothing but a foreign language. She doesn't feel this and when she sees me like this says it's depression straight out. Uggghh

[@Ten1brae]

Thank you for this video! You very clearly shared the distinctions and connections and I think I see things a bit more clearly now. I wish I could wave it in my ex's face and say, see? See? See?!? I'm not lazy!!!! For me... it began as depression (post partum), moved into learned helplessness, proceeded to burn out, more burn out, walking dead burn out, isolation, more depression, continued how-am-I-even-still-going burn out, and complete loss of faith in myself. All the while having insinuations and outright accusations of laziness hurled at me. I'm grateful and somewhat amazed that I survived that season of life. I hope that anyone who is trying to push through burn out sees this video, and anyone who is hard on themselves when they can't do something (especially when they think they should be able to so what's their problem) also sees this video. When I have wondered to myself in the past if I am a good mother, I am reminded of what I have heard: "Bad mothers don't worry about being good mothers". Same with laziness, right? And if we ask ourselves the questions like you suggested without framing ourselves in an unfair, negative light, there is much good self-understanding to be found.

[@LocalBogwitch666]

Thank you som much for sharing this. This video is the first place i havent felt like an alien species/unacceptable in a long time :)

[@ImTheDudeMan471]

There's a 4th option: "Bored stiff and un-stimulated". You can say the same of my working smart high energy Australian Cattle Dog. If she's bored and un-stimulated, she gets destructive and restless. In which she's a pain in the rear. She needs the work and stimulation to remain in a "good mental zone". P.S. The early worm gets eaten by a flying winged beaked monster. Sometimes it's okay to be the late worm.

[@KishBish]

I'm definitely not lazy.. I'm exhausted.. Being responsible for so much is draining me bc I am always worrying about something.. Constantly checking off little boxes in my head.. Financial worries, whew! I won't even go into how that factors in.. It's a lot, and I'm just TIRED flat out.. All I can do is keep praying and pushing, hoping things will simmer down someday..🙏🏽💗 Thanks for this! 💖

[@jodizellmer994]

Taking on more responsibility than you can handle could eventually lead to depression and other health problems. It's one thing if somebody is single and only responsible for themselves financially, but if you have a spouse and unless they've been disabled the entire time, all that responsibility on one person should be avoided. In that case, taking on so much responsibility is a choice. Just my opinion. I can't really judge without knowing somebody's entire situation.

[@rakastellar8955]

That is a very professionally-made video! What a nuanced way of distinguishing the three! I think I am actually burnt out, not depressed or lazy.

[@dat7533]

Thank you! Very timely for me as I'm going through the same thing

[@JDforeveralone]

Thank you so much and mich appreciation here for mentioning the stay home mums. Burn out definitely... led to a sort of low chronic depression, undiagnosed or rather self diagnosed. Want to ask you and hope you or someone will have an answer. What if it's not that you're not enjoying things anymore but rather that you moulded so much into your partner's wants and needs that this made you to forget about yourself and now you've reached a point where you just don't bother anymore about "self care" (in regards to your likes)..... I'm trying to look for ways to come out of this circle but just can't see an exit..?

[@E.Cerulean]

You sound exactly like me lol. You have to FORCE yourself to care for yourself. Schedule time for self-care, it's actually vital ! I am doing it more and more and seeing good results. I also try to read more and study more (tafsir, arabic etc), it helps me have a life outside of trying to please my partner 24/7 (although that's important, but not in excess). Your wants and needs are important too. "O you who believe, take care of your souls" Quran ! Salam aleykum may Allah bless you and assist you ❤❤

[@JDforeveralone]

@@E.Cerulean thank you for your kind words! I will try and start with baby steps in sha Allah. Esp for us I think we take sometimes the "caring for others" and being selfless too far. The problem gets exacerbated when u grew up as a ppl pleaser in order to "be safe". Wishing u all the best sis ❤️☺️ Wa aleikum salam wa rahmatulah!

[@emmax0000]

I needed this today, thank you! 🙏🏼💕

[@MsFunology]

Thank you so much. This definitely helps. Have been seeking for something to label what I'm feeling. What you explained about burn out, every single one of them, I can relate. Exactly how I feel. Just yesterday I told my friends that I don't know anymore why I have to do things. I'm not inspired. I don't know why I have to work, why I have to do things. I also feel lazy and miss deadlines. My job is basically screwed. Nothing seems to be well done. Sleep a lot. And when I wake up, I cannot make myself do the things I planned to do. I did the alarm thing too, take vitamins, try to work out a little bit. BUT IT'S HARD! Now I just wanna cry again...

[@carrissacurtiss5244]

My doctor and I are stuck right now because I'm caught in the same position as you but for different reasons. I have a son diagnosed with DMDD, CD, ADHD, and RAD. I also have two other children under 3. I struggle with intrusive thoughts, depression, anxiety attacks, and a lack of productivity. I feel worthless in my marriage, as a mother, and in my friendships because I cannot juggle it all. My doctor and I concluded that I am spread flatter than water on the ground. It is not because I am lazy, it is because I have more on my shoulders than one person can handle. I need help and support, and to give myself grace. I am trying to take things slowly so that I can find and receive the help that I need. That's another big hurdle: Taking enough time and loving myself enough to receive help. Thank you very much for sharing this with me.

[@deviatedspectrum]

Thank you, Kati. Your description of laziness (complete with foot-stamping) is really helpful. I often have thought I'm just unwilling - and therefore lazy - but really, it appears I'm just "stuck" and can't get myself going.

[@gabuchancreates9813]

Wow, I've always felt my 100% effort = everyone else's 50%. I never thought of "unwilling" compared to "unable", I've never been unwilling, but feel beaten down and blocked by the physical elements of what it takes to survive.

[@alexandrapettas9577]

wow, this video couldn't have shown up on my recommended at a better time. As a mental health counseling student set to finish school in 3 months, I am so exhausted I'm not even looking forward to my career. I feel like I just went through the motions of grad school, yet my previous work submissions show insight, growth and knowledge- all the things I feel I'm losing now. I don't even recognize the work of past me because it feels so much more educated and insightful than who I am now. I''m still struggling to figure out if i'm experiencing depression or burn out. The things I once loved i find myself never gravitating towards, just scrolling through social media and then before I know it, the day is gone and I have nothing to show for it. Maybe Im just changing though and my interests will change, we all go through many evolutions throughout our lifetime after all. I will get through this though.

[@nanpanini]

What a very honest and insightful video!!! You’re the best Kati! 🤗

[@Wolfgoddess56]

Had a lot of stuff happen in my life. Huge, huge red flags for depression in high school. Never talked about it. Have lived with this for YEARS. finally had enough and told my mom. Now I'm on SSRI's. Hope to feel more like me eventually. Really feel it's important to advocate and speak up when you feel this way. I physically can't cry currently. I feel as if I should but I can't. People always habe an kdea of what depression looks like but it's more about how it feels. I don't enjoy anything anymore and really just want to lay in bed. But I get up and go to work. I have zero problems talking about this with anyone anymore. My past self would never have done this. But I'm tired of being tired and unhappy. So speak up. You're worth it. You deserve happiness.

[@Vikki32]

I’ll have to go back and watch your videos on burnout! I burned out in 2020 just before we shut down. I took a year off and even though I was better, I’m not 10 percent. I can muster the energy for work, but when I get home I’m low and don’t get as much done around the house like I want to.

[@ItsAmena.Z]

I don't know why I stopped watching your videos for a while, you're really good and I love the things you discuss in your videos! I actually enjoy listening to you explaining stuff :)

[@karmarising144]

Laziness is not an action/inaction, its a negative judgement towards not meetings another's or ones own expectations of achievement. All actions/inactions are controlled by our state of mind whether that is considered a healthy/healed one or a damaged/trauma based response.

[@Natalie-justNatalie]

Love the Artist Way!!!! Haven't thought sbout it in decades. Thank you!

[@cristina14k]

Kati you are a mirror.. here's what I project: you are so hard on yourself.. you work incredibly hard and do your best all the time.. you are deserving of taking things slowly when necessary.. creativity is sparked out of boredom and nothingness.. let things be.. sometimes passive energy is reward.. you have everything you need within you and are enough.. I see the utmost care for yourself at how hard you are working on improving the quality of your life.. and part of the process is slowing down to enjoy the journey.. release all that pressure that has been building for quite some time.. it's OK to not have your life put together all the time.. it's OK.. to not knowing what's coming next or what's exactly what's going on right this second... answers you seek will come soon ❤

[@Romaniuk530]

Thank you for this video. I’ve asked myself these very questions. I’m on week 7 of stress leave from work, and I work from home! 😳 I’m burned out from the medical field and I am constantly battling an autoimmune disease, and now I’m about to start my 9th biologic! The pandemic has suck the life out of me! I tried to meet w/ a professional about my mental health and that was a total joke. I get more out of watching you and another channel. I appreciate all of your content. Thank you

[@angelag.4437]

First time viewer, I really enjoyed this content:)

[@annebrammer4569]

I'm not lazy. I've never been a morning person and I finally embrace it. I've been fortunate to have a job where my hours are flexible. Our adult child is the same and is autism spectrum and adhd. Thank you for this!!

[@cherrysIushie]

This was helpful. I found myself asking this question because I haven’t had a job for over 5 months even though I am able bodied. The key is I’m not unwilling but, unable. I have severe social anxiety which I hate blaming all of my problems on that but it rings true for most of my issues. :( I’ve tried to get a job I’ve went to many interviews but I get so anxious to the point I’ll have anxiety attacks in the car and then go home to hole myself up again. :(

[@robertstanley9633]

Thank you! You pose a lot of good questions that we as viewers could use. Sending much love ❤

[@sherrijennings9309]

OMG you just described me!!! I HATE mornings, but am forced into getting up early to get my kids to school 😩 I often feel discriminated against for not being a morning person. I've also been asking myself if I'm burnt out. I definitely have compassion fatigue (child scrams, I roll my eyes and think "meh, its probably just a little spider" or "they're alright" unless it's a serious scream like they've really hurt themselves). I feel like people judge me as being lazy because my house is messy, but I've just been diagnosed with ADHD, so I'm trying to give myself some grace. I find the things I do really rewarding and can't imagine giving any of them up, but I feel that I am overcommitted. You have inspired me to start a journaling journey (if I can find the time 🤪)

[@krishentertainmentinc.]

11:28 = that’s the answer. From within. Take time to yourself, reflect, alone, in silence, your mind, your body will tell you what it is.

[@Sesso20]

Thank you Kati, this video was just what I needed, very much to the point. Also the way you have made a point for each, was wonderful. I think I was a little burned out in my last semestre in college, because it was just so much work to do. And I didnt even have time during the semestres because I had also some courses there and then I was sick, three weeks. Wow. And now that I got no real rest and the new semestre started, I got to see my peers a little less and so on, I see whyI got sad and slowly spiraled that depression route. But past-me was thinking all the time "Nooo, you are just lazy!! Get up, there is so much time left for stuff to do". Yeah. Not doing that this time. I just relax, go in slowly into the semestre, not overwhelm myself with courses, keeping my sleep hygiene and so on. Just listening to the sadness and struggles, giving myself some hugs. I really nailed that tough last semestre. I should be proud. 🥰 I hope that you can soirt out your thoughts further and I will try to get into regularly journaling again. Thanks for the helpful reminder. Wish you the best!

[@lottie6217]

" What do you find rewarding?" My answer: Pleasing people. Since childhood, that is how I was conditioned to think because of toxic extended family. But now that I am away from relatives and toxic people, I just try to steer away from pleasing other people because I have a tendency to sacrifice my own comfort and happiness for the sake of other people's approval and acceptance. I think it is good to push back and be able to say "No". But now, I don't have any other rewards. I don't know what makes me happy.. I have no hobbies, and I buried myself on work that I don't know what's my interest outside work. So, how do I reward myself? I don't know. Do you have suggestions?

[@SouLightness]

I just found your chanel, Katy. I have Parkinsons disease and fatigue is a total killer. But also suffer from PTSD which is an added bonus so anxiety, depresion and pain...i wish there was a therapist i could talk to. Years ago while i was working i was able to afford it and i dealt with some of my issues...as complex and traumatic my story is things keep coming up wich aggravate my Parkinsons symptoms...its all a merry go round at the moment. My only relief is listening to you, or sane soothing people like dr Gabor Matè to help me stay kind to myself and relax. Thank you Katy.

[@pmbluemoon]

It's amazing, I was just thinking about this before I signed on ✌🤯 As for the therapist/metal illness thing, I think that someone that has been through some sort of life hiccup all the way to a crisis makes a better therapist because they understand more instead of just reading it in a book and applying said routes of treatment. Books are great, but experience (unfortunately) leads to better understanding. I wish none of us had to go through any of these things of course! My mind went to "I have a depression cupcake with burnout frosting and lazy sprinkles on top." I hope you're enjoying your new place! Congrats! 🥳 Thank you for this, I never thought about separating them all out like this.

[@darwin-rojas]

I saw a video that you made 6 years ago. Helped me tremendously and I'm so glad I found it. I recently got medically discharged from Basic Military Training. I had no clue what my diagnosis was or what it meant, and your explanation helped me understand and bring awareness to it. I will look into my coaching resources this Monday and look more forward to it now more than ever!

[@morphine496]

Thank you so much for speaking about this. Lately I've found it very hard to do some things and you helped me realise I was burnt out because of how much I was stressing myself to reach the targets at my new job.