Am I Making My Autism Up?

Does it seem like all of a sudden everyone is talking about autism? Is it "real" or did TikTok make us do it? In this video I'll unpack why you may have been looped into the autism algorithm and 3 things you can do about it.
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DISCLAIMER: Taylor Heaton is not a licensed psychologist or specialist healthcare professional. Her services do not replace the care of psychologists or other healthcare professionals. Please note that Taylor can’t take any responsibility for the results of your actions, nor any harm or damage you suffer as a result of the use, or non-use of the information available through her website, KZbin Channel, or social media accounts. Please use judgment and conduct due diligence before taking any action or implementing any plan or practice suggested or recommended by Taylor Heaton or Mom on the Spectrum. Please note that Taylor doesn't make any guarantees about the results of the information you may apply from her website, KZbin channel, and/or social media accounts. Taylor shares educational and informational resources that are intended to help you succeed in navigating life as an autistic adult. You nevertheless need to know that your outcome will be the result of your own efforts, your particular situation, and innumerable other circumstances beyond Taylor's knowledge and control. Taylor is an Amazon affiliate and may receive commissions on qualifying purchases from affiliate links. Taylor is a Flare affiliate and may receive commissions on qualifying purchases from Flare links.
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#latediagnosedautistic #momonthespectrum #autisticadult

[@Infinitesimal-ho7it]

Finding out that I'm autistic feels like the final piece of information I needed to start living a better life...at the age of 49. I've been trying to find my "tribe" for years now because I never felt like I fit in and/or people seemed to keep me at arm's length (flat affect doesn't help with the socializing, though I feel like I am smiling). I'm optimistic that I will find my circle soon. I'm expecting that I'm going to fine tune things and really come to life.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Would love to have you as part of my online community if you're interested! You can try it for free here: mots.circle.so/checkout/mom-on-the-spectrum-community-membership

[@rebeccamay6420]

Welcome to my experience! ❤️‍🩹 Keep learning and appreciating your differences.

[@justinwebb3117]

I'm late diagnosed at 49, just a few weeks ago! I feel exactly the same, the diagnosis is like a lens through I can now see everything, my childhood, my studies, my career, my love life, where I live and how I live. It's an OMG NOW it all makes sense!! Best of luck! I'm gonna kick life now.... 😂

[@ChronicallyJess]

I feel the same! I’m almost 30 and only got diagnosed a month ago. Though I’ve been on a huge self discovery journey over the past 9 months since the suspicion that I might be Autistic was raised. I love and relate so much to this community ❤

[@shatteredstarss]

Content creators like yourself have been more helpful than the medical community in solving my mysterious health issues. I am 39 and just spent most of my 30's in burnout. I saw dozens of doctors/therapists/psychiatrists and spent thousands of dollars trying to figure out a weird set of symptoms that didn't quite fit the symptoms of depression. I am a high masking female and thought I was could be autistic back in college but I decided that wasn't possible because I was overly empathetic. I had a lot of misconceptions about autism. I thought the spectrum was autistic on the left side and "normal" on the right side. I ended up deciding that I was on the spectrum, but I was even further to the right of normal in some sort of HSP category. All I knew was that I wasn't normal. Thia year, I ended up in a burnout bad enough that I got a diagnosis of bipolar and BPD. That didn't seem right so I did a deep dive and ended up finding the ND community here then on tiktok. Even though I am sure that I found my answer and that I'm AuDHD, I question it because I self diagnosed. I know that I don't qualify for an ADHD diagnosis and I don't have enough information from my childhood to be able to get an official autism diagnosis. It's causing a bit of imposter syndrome but finding this answer and accommodating myself is quickly improving my mental health and alleviating my burnout. Everyone sharing their experiences has been a lifesaver for me. Thank you all so much.

[@KTplease]

Your story is almost identical to mine! Except that I have a son who was diagnosed autistic as a toddler 10 years ago. I didn’t realize until last year that he got it from ME because I was high masking. I had a successful career and was called a “social butterfly” so how could I possibly be autistic?? I had a LOT to learn about the female presentation, and TikTok helped tremendously. I am still only self-diagnosed but at least I have the full support of my therapist and my husband. My parents and sister? Not so much. Because they don’t want to see their OWN neurodivergence. So complicated. I’m glad you and I found this community for support and encouragement! Hugs, friend! Without touching! 😂

[@CinnamonPinch]

@@KTplease The first few sentences of your post could have been written by me. I took online quizzes for autism and scored low, and then I took a masking quiz and scored really high. I'm still in the process of thinking it through. Thanks for sharing!

[@jamiepattison]

I feel this so hard. Specifically the imposter syndrome. I feel so guilty when people gaslight me into thinking I'm making a bigger deal out of things than necessary. I start to believe them, and then I come back to places like this and remember I'm not "making it up" and no not "everyone is a little autistic". Don't give up! Self diagnosis is perfectly valid, and we support you!

[@jamiepattison]

Also it's been said by a lot of professionals on the cutting edge of ASD research that SO MANY AFAB people are misdiagnosed as BPD.

[@eboronkay]

I’m 70 and have suspected since the 90s when I started working with autistic preschoolers. During our trainings I resonated and would think, “That happens to me.” Or “I experience that.” But I was told that it was all symptoms of childhood abuse. I was diagnosed with PTSD which is true but I think lots of us with autism have PTSD because we are easy targets. By the time I learned about synesthesia which I have had as long as I can remember (my hands are drawn to pain in someone’s body because I can hear it; etc) I wasn’t saying anything to anyone. Now my daughter is a therapist who works with a lot of neurodivergent and/or non-binary people. I broached the subject with her last year, saying, “I think I might be neurodivergent. “ Her response was, “oh mom I am so glad that you have figured it out.” She had no intention of ever telling me what she had known for years because she didn’t know if it would offend me. So I’ve been watching videos and taking the tests. I’m always shocked when the scores are so high! But now I have so much grace for myself and even forgiveness for all the department heads and heads of schools who let me go because I was “not a good fit.” I wasn’t and it wasn’t my fault or theirs. We don’t fit in boxes. No more shame. I came out to a woman who heads up a church group where I volunteer. I stepped into a bigger role at the beginning of 2024 and have struggled to learn all the ins and outs and get it right week after week. It’s been so hard. When I told her she took my face in her hands and said, “omgoodness, that makes so much sense!” She realized she gives me off hand directions when I need explicit ones. My best friends, a small group, have all agreed with what I am calling my informal diagnosis. My life makes so much more sense now! Such a relief.

[@mmlvx]

"Pebble in your shoe" analogy is powerful.

[@JoeJoeTater]

The hiking with a pebble analogy is really great. Like, everybody's feet hurt when hiking over rocks, but not everybody has them inside their shoe. Stepping on a pebble once may not seem too bad, but repeated over an entire hike, it makes the difference between a calloused or bloody foot. If everyone's gaslighting you into thinking you don't need to stop and take the pebble out, you're gonna wind up with a bloody foot.

[@erikahubinger-pauls7860]

What I’m struggling with, is that I can’t speak to anyone about all the things I find out about myself. All the groundbreaking information. What I’m struggling every single day. People say things like everyone struggles with that in some ways. But it’s not the same.

[@kensears5099]

Watching Paul Micellof talking about the 64 or so typical autistic traits, of which jarringly many were me exactly, then taking the AQ test (38 out of 50--again JARRING), then reading books about it, taking tests on autism from other sources (utter unanimity by every test: "Significantly high on the spectrum"), continuing to watch multiple channels like yours, and, MOST of all, a whole lifetime's worth of experiences flooding back to my mind's (and heart's) eye and making utter SENSE like they'd never managed to before. Precisely because I realized I'd never been able to plug into the neurotypical matrix, and I instantly knew what "masking" was the moment I heard it described. I knew it viscerally. I'd suffered from it viscerally. For a lifetime. It was all so obvious. And I've never watched TikTok in my life, so the whole thing about somehow getting TikToked into it is a total non-starter.

[@simoneholenstein6977]

So, I was diagnosed by the YT algorithm at age 28. I had thought I might be autistic several times before but because my presentation is more internal/„female“ and info in the early 2000s was more „male-centric“ I always dismissed my suspicion. cut back to 2018, YT suggested a video by some australian psychiatrist specializing in autism in females and MY MIND WAS BLOWN cause suddenly my life made so much more sense! I have since gotten my official diagnosis but honestly, my own research into strategies and accomodations and just the community of autistic people in general is MUCH more helpful than anything the medical community had to offer so far.

[@dande_lion]

I haven't been officially diagnosed so far, but treating myself as autistic and learning about it has helped so much! Last year all the therapists thought I had depression, and treated me like that even though I mentioned that I do not feel depressed but expercience burnout. Their treatment just made things worse and I found out that it is "just" a full blown autistic burnout. I put my therapist on hold, not sure I will go back to her, and focus on rest, energy management (especially with people) and education about autism now.

[@freecat1278]

I wasn't looking for autism videos, but one day a large number of them started showing up in my recommendations.

[@ledguy315]

Same. I actually know which video I finally gave into watching after ignoring them for a few months. It was "I'm not an alien, I'm autistic."

[@mysteria9052]

The “Females And Autism/Asperger’s: A Checklist” by Samantha Craft (which can be found online) was probably my biggest piece of research evidence I initially showed to my doctor. I explained how almost all of the check points resonated with me and that helped put me on the waitlist to see an adult autism specialist to proceed with getting my official diagnosis. I luckily had a female family doctor assisting my primary male family doctor, because she was very open to understanding how (then) Asperger’s presented differently in women and she helped me move forward.

[@XaltaTarot-qs2hc]

Just checked it out. It IS a good checklist, thanks! Still checking all the boxes over here. haha

[@eboronkay]

Thank you for the kind lead to the checklist. I’m such a perfectionist that I got anxious over the few things that didn’t fit. 😂

[@XaltaTarot-qs2hc]

@@eboronkay Oh a bunch didnt for me too in one category! AspieQuiz is batter. Google that. Also Jen O'Toole's chick-list check list.

[@robbiea1482]

Watching KZbin creators like Taylor was my aha moment. It made me realize that people do not look autistic

[@nagerimanualidades9403]

The idea's been floating around in my head for a while, Jaiden Animation's "I found out I have ADHD" led me down the rabbit hole. I started rethinking my entire life, finding old videos, report cards and talking to caretakers. I think the moment I was like "Oh, this could be an actual thing" is when I read how undiagnosed autistic girls are described by guardians and peers growing up. It was like a list of how I've been described my entire life.

[@ShadoeLandman]

Her little birds

[@nagerimanualidades9403]

@@ShadoeLandman Been wandering if i could have ADHD or it's just overlapping traits plus executive dysfunction hitting hard. Currently going through the longest summer break Ive had in my entire life and it's been awful. Can't do almost anything without structure and can't mantain structure on my own. Thank god Im starting a summer theater course in a week. :)

[@KTplease]

My journey started ten years after my son was diagnosed autistic as a toddler. TikTok showed me clips of women saying “Things I didn’t know were signs of autism” and they were all ME! I knew I was “quirky” (rubbing soft fabric for comfort, picking scalp and bottoms of feet, tweezing leg hair, sensory overwhelm etc) but never considered that I was anything other than “weird”. I’m so thankful for TikTok making me curious, sending me on a long research and self discovery journey. I’m now proudly self diagnosed AuDHD and I’m taking good care of my nervous system, happier than ever. 😊

[@452xi]

So glad for the subtitles, due to my Misophonia.

[@TyWorth]

TikTok didn't impact me, but getting a new therapist who happens to be autistic certainly did! Knowing about my ADHD and executive function issues, and knowing how much those can overlap with autism, I asked her about ASD in one of our first sessions. Everything she said matched up so perfectly with my experiences now and when I was younger. That kicked off my (currently) four-month-long research journey. Talking with relatives to get more insight into what I was like when I was younger was also a *huge* eye opener. I'm currently not formally diagnosed so I'm having trouble fully internalizing the idea, but hopefully I can cut through the red tape soon and get some answers. In the meantime, so much of the advice and coping strategies from channels like yours has worked wonders. I've made more progress in a few months with this therapist than I did in years with my previous ones.

[@funniful]

I think I randomly clicked on a KZbin video talking about autism, and I began to recognize my husband in the descriptions. We have since decided that he is definitely autistic. But during the course of my learning about autism so that I can better understand my husband, it occurred to me that I am very much autistic as well. This revelation has been a lot of relief for me. It’s been like a veil has been lifted from my eyes. Like you, I’m learning compassion for myself, as I learn to accommodate myself, instead of trying to hammer a square peg into a round hole. It’s been a journey that only just came about this year, my 59th year of life. I don’t do TikTok.

[@narcole]

This came at this right time for me. My aha moment was hearing someone describe their autistic meltdowns and realizing that’s what I’ve been experiencing, not “normal” panic attacks

[@LaShumbraBates]

I don't remember exactly what I was initially looking for, but it wasn't Autism. I saw one of my recommendations was a video listing out traits of Autism, and every single one in the thumbnail WAS ME! My jaw hit the floor, and I had more Autism related recommendations. I watched at least 10, if not more, videos of Autistic traits. Each video had a list from 10 to 20 traits, and I resonated with all but maybe 3 to 5 traits listed in the videos. Obviously there were repeats in the lists, but that was still insane enough to me for me to go down the research rabbit hole. It was extremely obvious that I was Autistic at that point, especially after analyzing my entire life, and not just looking at traits.

[@resourcedragon]

I think there is a final hurdle with an autism diagnosis, and that is accepting that you have something that is generally regarded as a disability/you are something that is generally regarded as disabled. Without a diagnosis (or if you are still at the self-diagnosed stage) you have some uncertainty, in which, perhaps, if you just find the right routine or something, life will magically become easier for you. Maybe the right exercises will "cure" you.

[@KOrchard31]

A quick Tiktok saying something to the effect that not everybody feels about spoons the way that autistics do slammed into me with surprising force. All the rejection and bullying I received in primary and high school for being "different" or "strange" no matter how hard I tried. Sleeping away an entire year at 17 years old, major depression unable to work for 2 years at 30. Never able to work full time again, overwhelmed by light, sounds, skin sensations, all of it pointing toward something I never realised and no doctor ever suggested. When I realised that my favourite content creators on Tiktok were autistic, I threw myself into research and took the quizzes. All of it points to the same thing. I'm autistic and it is simultaneously a relief and very scary. I can't pursue an official diagnosis yet due to my personal situation but I think I would probably benefit with seeking online conversations with other autistic people. I'm just scared to take the next step just in case I'm wrong.

[@Shego5000]

Life in general always felt hard, so when I saw a funny short about demand avoidance earlier this year, I just went directly for a diagnosis out of frustration (I'm now diagnosed with AuDHD). The actual AHA moment for me was, when my mom told me a while back, that we had a teacher meeting in elementary school, becasue the man had said to the class "we will write a sentence now", and I did EXACTLY that. For 45 minutes. I wrote a single sentence, while everybody else wrote paragraphs x'DD

[@SaltierMermaid]

My moment of realization was watching a video of yours about ADHD/Autism when I was in the process of my ADHD diagnosis. I had never heard of another person learning to play multiple musical instruments the same way I did. I felt such a deep resonance with your experience. To this day, I feel a strong sense of gratitude for you sharing your experience and giving me that personal insight 💜

[@izze7618]

I was trying to figure out why I was so burnout all the time, so I looked up videos on KZbin. An autism burnout video popped up (I can’t remember the creator’s channel name) and realized that was me… My entire life!! I cried so hard, but when I was done, it was like the tears washed away most of the negative thoughts about myself. I’m 46 years old and for the first time I can look in the mirror and not hate who’s looking back.

[@chloebunde4455]

Thanks for this video! My inner critic’s favorite way to invalidate myself is by saying being autistic is a social media and/or Gen Z trend. Your way of explaining the algorithm I think can help me combat this thinking! Sometimes I mistake my experience or bubble for everyone’s experience and discredit it. Thanks for reminding me it’s just the algorithm and I’m valid ❤

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Absolutely! So glad it was helpful to you.

[@cda6590]

If you are a student check your high school/college and see if there is any kind of neurodivergent club/support group. Oftentimes groups like these will allow you to experience some degree of interaction with professionals. If your school does not have such an option, look into starting one. I've done it twice now in two different cities and both times have been very rewarding, surprisingly easy, and in high demand. As was mentioned in the video, the best way for you to combat your imposter syndrome is to turn your interactions with autism from passive (sitting there endlessly watching TikTok shorts) to active (seeking out, communicating, and interacting with other people on the spectrum.)

[@NoiseDay]

I'll never let naysayers convince me I'm not autistic because my first reactions to self diagnosis were to be offended and distraught. It's not a cool trend. It's just my reality and I knew from looking into it that it was the truth whether I liked it or not. I'm still working on my ableism, mainly by processing my experiences out loud and reminding myself to be a non-judgmental observer

[@azcactusflower1]

Approximately 6 years ago, it happened when I met an autist in a FB group. In order to understand her better and my natural curiosity, I came across a quiz. My results catapulted me into a deeper dive. While sitting saying, "I do that" watching numerous YT videos. My personal algorithm in life at 61 y.o., I realized in as much as I'd enjoy being in a partnership, the dynamics can be exhausting as I need so much alone time

[@susanhenderson5001]

Taylor, I finally contacted a local provider who conducts ASD assessments for adults...I've gone 58 years being gaslit about what's going on with me...misdiagnosed, mismedicated...ended up having to go through the painful process of recognizing I could no longer function in the work world and achieve SSDI status...which took two rejections and finally going in front of a judge...Having to search until I found information that told me that, yes...I have typical signs of autism in a woman....And now I have to pay over $2000USD out of pocket in order to /maybe/ get a confirmation from a doctor...While living on SSDI payments and unable to work. That is a huge ask. It is outrageous and I'm trying not to completely go over the edge into the deep end of the pool just thinking about it. So so SO frustrating!!! Thanks for letting me vent.

[@kalt1976]

LOL, ffs, this is the third time you have mentioned scrunching toes- while I am scrunching my toes 😂😂😂

[@Estelien]

Watching this, it occurred to me that our constant worry about taking something away from people with higher support needs is kind of like infomercials. A lot of the odd items sold on infomercials were designed for people with disabilities. They're marketed to the general public because the items couldn't sell enough to exist otherwise. In a way, by allowing the autism community to grow, by welcoming people with lower support needs, maybe the voices of the community as a whole can be amplified so that supports for everyone can keep improving.

[@josephmartin1540]

Thank you Taylor! Those who worry that we are finding “too many autistic people” must certainly not themselves be savants… If the CDC estimates a global rate of 1% and the highest suggested US rate is less than 2.8%, how is less than 3 out of 100 so many as to worry them? Talk about a very small minority! ( I JUST rechecked current suggested rates)

[@DrinkYourNailPolish]

I remember when I was in college back in the early 00s learning abt autism as a psychology major- that it was predominant in boys and that girls rarely had it. I distinctly remember my psychology prof saying "we don't know why autism is more prevalent in boys...." It's crazy how far we have come in the field of psychology in just 2 decades.

[@HoldOnStillProcessing]

Never been on TikTok. Three pediatric professionals suggested my son might be autistic as a toddler and I brushed it off because he was highly intelligent and highly verbal. At age 5 I took him to a therapist for a traumatic incident he experienced and during the parent intake I was explaining that he plays differently than other kids. She asked if he is autistic and for some reason that fourth suggestion was the one I took very seriously. Almost immediately I learned that autism doesn't automatically mean speech struggles and realized not only is my son autistic but my husband and I are most likely autistic as well. That therapy ended up not being super helpful for my son because he'd use every single 50 minute session to info dump about his special interest in speakers and old school smart devices and she didn't know how to work with him to talk about and process the trauma. While sharing these revelations with my mom she mentioned that a neighboring mom had a severely autistic son and would coach my mom on how to parent me and meet my needs as a difficult child. I also had a moment in college in 2007 where I came across Aspergers online and somewhat diagnosed myself. I told a few friends my suspicions and they immediately started making fun of the word Aspergers and me :( . Thinking back on that experience I regret being dissuaded by their shitty behavior because I could have come to know and understand my true self much sooner had I pursued that path 17 years ago.

[@MariaJoseRozas]

As someone who was dxd in 2007, i got the exact mocking attitude from the bf I had back then. Those were not so good times to seek for info about autism no matter the specific support needs, I disbelieved my dx for many years for that reason; in that sense I relate a lot to your comment. Having accurate information goes a long way in self-acceptance and being able to meet both one's needs and others'. Never had tiktok either. A lot of the people in there are expressing themselves, mostly, it's just that the people going "tiktok autism" in a derogatory way are used to the outdated biomedical model.

[@MariaJoseRozas]

(can't edit my own comment. 2008, not 2007 🥲 my bad! Still not a good time!)

[@amandamandamands]

I can say that it wasn't TikTok because I don't have TikTok. Over the last 10 years I had wondered on and off if I was autistic but had a stereotypical view of what autism was (and didn't realise that I had sensory issues at the time) so each time I would go no that my meltdowns were being caused because of interpersonal issues. I also had a friend on Facebook that would repost autism infographics and thought it was interesting that I could relate to so much of it but just thought it was overlap with other diagnoses that I had been given. When Sia's movie 'Music' came out I was then binging info about it and started following some of those autistic creators and that was when it became more no I really do relate to most of what these people are saying and then sort out a diagnosis.

[@1BreannaClaire]

My first clue was when I went back to the office after working at home during the pandemic, and I found myself overwhelmed. Then, when I asked permission to work more from home, and they told me no, I basically went into meltdown mode - I could feel my communication system shutting down. I wish I could say my aha moment was something happy!😒

[@MomontheSpectrum]

it's ok! not everything can be happy. and the happy moments are even better because of the sad ones. thanks for sharing!

[@SaltierMermaid]

This is so relatable. I had such a strong reaction to the return to work process and especially how arbitrary and unjust I felt it was. I didn't put two and two together like you did though. When I got my ADHD diagnosis a year later, I had the evaluator put "option to work from home" on the list of my accommodations.

[@Type_null14]

Thank you Taylor for all the information you provide to people going thru this. I am 28 and undiagnosed, constantly arguing with family whether I “have it” or not. But when I’m unable to get out of bed or shower or function normally, and I have difficulty moving forward with transitions, and I get constantly overwhelmed to the point of going nonverbal… it is very frustrating when others believe you are being a hypochondriac, just for seeing the similarities and connections that I have been experiencing my whole life. It’s frustrating when people invalidate my feelings because they don’t have the same perspective that i have. I’m trying to understand and accept and keep going one step at a time. Your channel really helps me feel like I’m not broken, my brain just processes things differently. ❤❤️‍🩹

[@mendicantcrow]

I ❤ Embrace Autism. The thoroughness of the test descriptions and the compassion with which they are explained shows a genuine understanding of what we may need as potentially Autistic readers.

[@lilijagaming]

When I was in my twenties, my teenage brother was suspected to have Asptergers. I remember back then I thought that if I was a boy I would have Aspergers for sure. Forward to current times. 4 years ago KZbin recomended to me (possibly due to my psychology special interest) Aspergers from the Inside channel (Autism from the Inside nowadays) and the patterns were there. And this is how my journey has started. I've started understanding so many things about me and my mental health struggles as back then I got stuck in my therapy process. I've been past working thru a lot of trauma but still many things didn't work and being a functioning adult was a constant struggle with never ending feelings of fatigue, poor health and new health issues showing up. I've got my diagnosis in May this year.

[@metjushfromcave]

Aha: we started exploring whether our son was autistic and somewhere in the process, my wife was like: “and what if all the misunderstandings we have could be explained by you also being on the spectrum?” That was a bombshell. It caught me off guard, but I started researching, doing all the tests, reading, watching videos and I was like - damn, she might be right

[@RebekahAmberClark]

I didn't have one spectacular "aha!" moment, but more like a slow dawning realization. But if I had to point to one thing that made me think 'wait, maybe this is possible' it wasn't so much realizing I was autistic as that I WASN'T neurotypical. I was watching a lot of ADHD/Autism videos on KZbin and saw a couple of videos with NT spouses talking about what it was like living with someone on the autism spectrum, and I realized how much I absolutely couldn't relate to the NT spouses' way of thinking at all. "When you have eliminated all which is impossible, then whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth." -Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

[@PerksJ]

Elaine Aron HSP studies also got me into questioning an autism diagnosis for myself! GI issues and being trans also tipped me off!

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Yes GI issues are quite common for those of us on the spectrum! And more trans people in our community too

[@madeleinec1107]

The whole 'HSP' term has always rubbed me the wrong way. It's just re-packaged autism and stopped me from getting a diagnosis for many years. Hope your discovery journey is going well!!

[@pattishaw9396]

4:02pm - my aha moment was when you said you sit in your car for an hour trying to transition into the store and that after an hour you sometimes drive away….i had no idea other people did that

[@MomontheSpectrum]

oh wow!! So similar aha moment as me :) thanks for sharing

[@JoeyPantaloons]

I've done this so many times, I hate to think about the Lost hours of my life I've spent sitting in a car in a parking lot

[@justinwebb3117]

You got me subscribing at "it's colourful, because I like colours!" 😂👍

[@idlikemoreprivacy9716]

The only justification for a diagnosis is making a patient feel better for more years. Your videos were most helpful to me: I recovered with self confidence a lot of "excentric" strategies I unknowingly developed and made me feel stable and happy, found the least demanding alternative for the things I now see I can't afford to do, and strengthened all the relationships I care for around the activities and pace that leave me most of my energy to find some way to show warmth, patience and genuine interest. Same with work, I rather do 100x what is possible for me than 1x of trying to conform or some of those menial things that take all out energy for weeks.

[@pipwhitefeather5768]

My kids knew I was autistic before I did. I had recently discovered for myself that I was probably affected by C-PTSD symptoms and could resonate with that and with the HSP type as I feel super empathetic. Then one day my daughter says 'Mum I think you're autistic'. I said 'what? don't be daft!' I was under hte impression that you couldn't be empathetic and sensitive and autistic. Then I found out I could. I've been learning more everyday ever since. I still think 'really???' and wonder. I took the tests and it's in the zone but not super high scores. I don't know anything about anything anymore. I mean who does? Life is weird and hard.

[@jaredanders8222]

Thank you for helping me surface this! I got diagnosed with ADHD at age 35 shortly after my kids got diagnosed. Found your videos after looking into some KZbin content for ADHD and after a half-dozen online quizzes, I’m 100% sure that I’m autistic. Very similar story to yours. High-functioning, masking expert. Knowing I was different but was always searching as to why. I feel sorry for all my counselors, friends, parents and ex-wife for not knowing what they were up against. But I’m grateful for this knowledge to better raise my kids.

[@FormerFraggle]

Whenever I first discovered your videos, I had been feeling different not necessarily in a bad way, but just different from everybody else. I never voiced this concern with anybody ever before or set it allowed period. One day I opened KZbin, and one of your videos was the first thing in my feed I clicked on it. I discovered that my masking and stemming was normal for somebody on the spectrum. Among many other things, that was my aha moment. Thank you for sharing your journey, and intern enlightening mine.

[@skatehansen]

I always knew something was different about me. And I've been searching for the answer since I was 20 (31 now). The moment for me, was learning that you can be autistic and have a lot of empathy. After figuring this out, I started watching more videos and just exploded with "yep, yep, yep, thats me !" haha. Thank you so much for opening my eyes and learning more. videos like this is definitely needed.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

you're welcome! Thanks for your comment

[@mindonthespirit1543]

I've always been a toe-walker/runner, and toe-stretcher. And I was asked by an old friend and also by a therapist years ago to which I kind of laughed and didn't think it was the case. But it really clicked listening to others on YT talking about their experience which is oddly similar to the traits the therapist brought up. And my partner who worked with two Autistics and did a double take at me and said I had the exact traits.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

yes - hearing others talk about their experience was vital for me :) Thanks for your comment!

[@justinszabo5205]

I have never used tic tok. but ultimately my opinion is this: no one who feels good in themselves and is thriving would ever be "tricked" into thinking they have a disorder from watching videos. It's almost always people that are struggling in some way or another and feel unable to identify why. Now, weather it is " ADHD " " autism " or " childhood neglect " or " C-PTSD " it is a POSITIVE step to A. Find a community and B. find some techniques that might work for you. Personally i related to all 3 of the above given they all have a lot of crossover and have found useful information in writing and education on all 4. And Im sure I am not alone. Ultimately these are descriptions of symptoms its less CLEAR than a broken arm or a cold and that is OK - it just means what will help is different for each individual. The brain is amazing and fascinating.

[@LilChuunosuke]

Being told by the autistic community that I was welcome in autistic spaces and was allowed to call myself autistic even if I wasn't 100% sure was so important and reassuring for me. I doubted myself for so SO long and allowed the people complaining about "kids self diagnosing on tiktok" to make me question my behavior. But the more I allowed myself to be autistic, the more I uncovered old childhood memories, the more I realized how absurd that was. I asked to be assessed for autism when I was SIX! When I was 3, I was fully convinced I was an alien sent to Earth to observe human activity & behavior. It was the only way I could make sense of the clear neurological difference between me and everyone else. I was told I was shy all throughout my childhood. I finally realized shy people are not silently screaming at themselves to speak in their own heads because their body isn't obeying them. I was semi-verbal. The issue isnt social media lying to us to make us believe we are autistic. The issue is society lying to us to make us believe we are not.

[@LustStarrr]

I began my trip down the research rabbit hole, seeking out autism content, after a psychiatrist I saw told me my BPD diagnosis was incorrect & I was in fact autistic. At the time, I couldn't afford the official assessment, so I was left to myself to work out by myself whether I agreed with his opinion, which took awhile but eventually I did. I have autistic content creators to thank for that realisation, because if it weren't for the perspectives of other late-diagnosed autistics, particularly AFAB people, I don't think I'd have ended up recognising my autistic traits. That was in around 2017, & I'm only just pursuing a formal assessment now, because I've finally saved enough money. Thank you for this video, & your channel. ❤

[@mikek_dk]

My aha moment was when i was interviewed by the doctor for my childs assesment, he asked, did you daughter have normal eye contact when growing up, and i could not answer, so i told him, i dont know, i have problem with eye contact, and he just laughed and said, yeahh... I have since gone through my own assessment and been diagnosed

[@user-de6cg1bs1g]

I had a lot of aha moments and a mountain of evidence but was still in denial. The penny dropped when Orion Kelly was talking about pee issues as a kid being autistic, having to go multiple times before bedtime and car rides etc. This was my experience too. I cried my eyes out after this and everything started falling into place. Weeks later I am still processing, still realising, yet still doubting even though the evidence is insurmountable now. Your channel has helped a lot

[@adelaskybird]

Do you remember where you heard Orion talk about that? A KZbin video?

[@margilvi5890]

Yes he is a youtuber too❤❤

[@adelaskybird]

@@margilvi5890 Thank you. Do you happen to have a link to the particular video that talks about urination issues?

[@cherylroberts5100]

Thank you for everything you do for the autistic community I am 60 years old and I am having my autism assessment in December. I want to say that because of you and several others on KZbin did I find the courage to make that appointment. This video really does help me as I have been gaslighting myself. Sending many blessings ❤

[@MissBlueEyeliner]

You talked about scrunching your toes and I looked down and realised I had been scrunching mine without realising. It’s funny how I used to think I didn’t stim. I am _always_ stimming in one way or another.

[@NikkiRaven]

I don’t have tik tok, but my Aha moment came when I watched your video about autism in woman. After I watched that one, I watched your video about autism and adhd and it felt like a popcorn machine went off inside my head🤣

[@MiljaHahto]

My aha-moment came from the last medical certificate from my previous psychiatric clinic - they thought it should be examined. Yet where I live now they are the healthcare is totally dismissive of it. So I am just self-diagnosed and "peer-reviewed", and damn has it changed a lot. Started researching myseld after pros suspecting it.

[@brynnakelly3437]

Hey Taylor, it started with The Highly Sensitive Person for me, too. I listened to Elaine’s book over and over, resonating with what she wrote. Upon further research I found that HSP could mean Autistic… and thus continued the research and realization that “Wow! I think I’m Autistic.” I was in the gifted and talented classes here in Texas, as a kid, so that was another sign… But yeah, I feel much more comfortable in my skin realizing that I’m an autistic woman, and it’s ok that I view the world differently. In fact, I seem to find beauty that others look past… you know, in the details.

[@WaterFor3st]

Seeing certain things my son(professionally diagnosed) did as a toddler is what got me thinking.

[@juliametzmacher2825]

I love your shirt, so pretty with your blue eyes. And thank you for all your work and the helpful reflections you share with us.

[@kitakabe]

I started researching autism more than 10 years ago because I was dating someone diagnosed with autism and i wanted to understand them better. The more I read, the more things started to sound like me... I was self dx for about 5 years and last year I got an official AuDHD diagnosis. Like you said, everything is the same, and nothing is the same.

[@kittiemarie1235]

I’m still not sure but that’s because I can’t figure out if I am a narcissist or autistic. Family says it’s the first behind my back but I was apparently diagnosed as a child with autism but that was hidden from me so I wouldn’t “use it as an excuse.” I just struggle majorly with socializing. I found out about autism from counselors who told me two things: “you’ll be fine when you get away from your family.” “Have you been diagnosed with autism.”

[@LisaAnnOberbrunner]

My aha moment was from one of your videos about traits of female autism. I have almost all of the traits you mentioned.

[@elainegilman7014]

I've never been on Tik Tok. I've often wondered if I was on the spectrum because of some sensory issues, but never looked further into why I responded in certain situations the way I did. I heard Katherine May on We Can Do Hard Things talk about being dx'd at age 39 and immediately related. I've now been officially dx'd. Thanks for talking about Dr. Sanders! I'm now learning how to live my life to accommodate my needs. Holy Cow! What a difference. I agree, if you resonate with something, always worth investigating why.

[@christineE9301]

Not officially diagnosed, don't do tick toc, but have finally accepted that I likely am after months of my diagnosed son telling me, mom you know that's an autistic trait, I don't think it skipped a generation. This took time for me to process because so many of the hallmark characteristics didn't resonate with me. I don't struggle with eye contact and I am so empathetic that others' emotions can be difficult for me to not be overwhelmed by them. However, accepting this reality has helped me to understand why I struggle with some of the things I do, especially the uneven productivity. I can also watch for the red flags of disregulation and take the needed steps so I can stay out of burn out.

[@daxlagoslanguageguy0072]

When it came to me, I didn't turn to TikTok while searching for answers about autism. At the age of 28, I began to notice my differences. I experienced frequent meltdowns and observed repetitive movements like stimming. I often repeated sounds and words, a condition known as echolalia and palilalia, and someone else noticed these behaviors before I did. It wasn't until I was 30 years old that I received diagnoses of autism and ADHD. Although I had been diagnosed with ADHD as a child, I didn't fully recognize it until I was 28.

[@Darkill13]

'Ah ah' process for me: cyclical periods of fatigue, combined with spending loads of time with ND children, until a few questions sparked in my head that lead me to your diagnosis story video 🎉

[@whispersbeautyofficial]

One of my customers said it to their table and that's when I started looking into it.

[@jamiejamiecouper]

It was very helpful that time you sang "Baltimore!" describing viewing a sports match.

[@brendaking2362]

I don't have tik tok but this came up for me on KZbin. I resonate with a lot of the information I came across. I've been diagnosed with bipolar, anxiety disorder, and OCD. None of those diagnoses cover what I experience. All of the medications I take don't help. My oldest daughter is autistic and I realized I should get assessed as well. I was diagnosed.

[@michaelanthony279]

I am so grateful to you-and have that “agape” love for you and what you do (no worries-I’m dramatic [“Dramatic Dad” is what my kids call me, but I’m sincere and harmless 🙂]). I’m a semi-retired shrink, and I always had at least a handful of patients just like me-and, for the life of me, I couldn’t “figure them (or me) out”-they were terribly likable people but I just.coukdn’t.get.them.better. Now, ADHD/ADD and (and some rather odd characters) run in my family (my great grandfather would get up in the morning, put a suit on, and sit in a chair all day…my great grandmother would go to work as a street vendor. This went on their whole lives…their son-my great uncle-worked as the “elevator operator” (open the elevator gate, close it, push the buttons) for years… The “aha” moment? I watched a CME series on ADHD a few months ago …cutting edge stuff. The presenter was a younger guy, wicked smart, and a psychiatrist/researcher at a local elite university. Almost offhandedly, he said, “Now remember, about 1/3 of ADHD people have autism as their core diagnosis.” I said to myself: “This is crazy. No way.” But I followed up and read the research, and the evidence was crystal clear: he was right! This led to more reading-eventually I learned about “masking” and “camouflaging” and, well, my head almost exploded with self-recognition (and a million other emotions): “All my life, I thought I was the only one who does this. My God. I’m not alone.” I found your channel and here we are. Thank you for all you do. I am a HUGE fan, send your channels to the people I now recognize as belonging to this “long-lost tribe”, and hope to dedicate a future practice to helping the long- (and, until now) quietly-suffering masked autistics among us. You are indispensable. ❤

[@LoveCrumb]

The thing that ticks (pun intended) me off about this whole discourse is that neurotypical people now feel it's okay to invalidate self-diagnosed folks. Two very thoughtful and intelligent creators that are among my favourites- creators who I consider to be positive philisophical thinkers- have either outright questioned and critiqued the validity of tik tok diagnosing or have agreed with a guest saying "I don't believe in self-diagnosis." I think they're mistaking young teens who are searching for an identity or label to explain their experience of the world and glomming onto the first tik tok video that comes across their feed (I honestly don't know if this happens, this is just the imagery that's being critiqued) with teens and adults who were missed by the system, and have gone down a month's to years-long rabbit hole of discovering what autism actually is and reviewing their entire life BEFORE they self-diagnose. My experience of self-diagnosed people is that they fall in the latter category, but neurotypical people seem to think self-diagnosed folks fit in the former.

[@TheBrainbowConnection]

wait..other autistics scrunch their toes in their shoes secretly so no one else can see??? 😳 haha. here I thought I was being covert and clever

[@MomontheSpectrum]

I knew I'd get someone! 😎

[@AlexAlexAl]

For me the realization was how much I was stimming (scrunching toes like you mentioned, but also more visible sometimes). Never realized it as it was so normal for me. Got my official diagnosis recently, as a late autistic female just before my 30thies.

[@Abejaved]

My first suggestion that I was autistic was from Reddit (I know, not a good place lol). I spent a good 3 years gaslighting myself with the usual stuff. The "Everyone has quirks" or "It's not that bad as they say" I never had friends growing up so I was definitely lacking that diagnostic tool of experience. At 24, I accidentally found a friend group in college and Ithey referenced the show Community and Abed. I watched one episode and I had never related to a character more in my entire life. I genuinely saw myself as him in flashback form.

[@kolt4d559]

My "ah-ha" moment was when I heard it described as "talking in paragraphs not sentences." Diving into things more, I just felt more seen. Also I always walked on my toes as a kid and still do it occasionally when I'm not paying attention

[@NFSMAN50]

Hello Taylor Hope you had a good 4th of July. I don't use Tiktok, but I can relate to this, especially with youtube, reddit, etc. I've always known I was autistic, but now Im also suspecting ADHD as well, and i've been getting lots of ADHD content online on yoututbe here, and connecting with ADHD people and creators, as well as autistic. I never suspected that I had ADHD, but looking back at my actions, and what my teachers, and family said, there are major signs. I struggled to focus, pay attention in class, was disorganized in class, would forget things at times, and had a tendency to show up late to class. I would also get up out of my seat in class and doodle in class, and had strong emotional reactions as a boy.

[@dande_lion]

My kind of aha moment was Claire's (Woodshed Theory) video called: "I was a serial hugger". I immediatly went to mum asking her when it started that I was hugging people.

[@emilymoran9152]

I can credit my adult autism diagnosis journey to the character of Entrapta in 'She-ra and the Princesses of Power'. I had SO may "haha, relatable!" moments with her when watching that show...and then found out she had been written as autistic. And I was like "Oh. I should maybe look into this, because that's not the first time I've identified with a person/character who either is autistic, or who autistic people say they identify with." In fact, back when I was 12, I ran across a magazine article called "Little Professors" about kids with Aspergers. I took it to my parents like: "Hey, have you read this? This kinda sounds like me!" They were like: "Yeah, but we ARE professors, so of course you'd sound like a mini one! Don't worry about it." (They were and are very supportive of my quirks and different ways of doing things...but almost because of that, they couldn't picture the way I am as being DISORDERED. So I don't fault them for not following up, especially since 'treatments' in the '90s could be kinda terrible.) As I started casually researching, I found Yo Samdy Sam's "translation" of the DSM-5 criteria for autism (kzbin.info/www/bejne/Z6rZkmeIj7ySqZI)...and realized I probably checked EVERY SINGLE BOX (even though some are optional). Did enough research that when I hit a patch of bad autistic burnout - I knew what it probably was! So I made a video appointment online with a psychologist who specializes in adult autism and ADHD diagnoses and...yup!

[@Autisticheather]

Feeling like an alien. That everyone but me got the memo on social protocol. And masking and not knowing who I really am. And being completely exhausted after social encounters

[@KimberlyCox-TheNeuroCircus]

My aha moment was hearing people talk about how autism and ADHD mask each other… ADHD was an easy diagnosis after my daughter was… but the light bulb just blew up when I started learning about how they mask each other making it difficult to diagnose either.

[@katiebeark]

I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder about 7 years ago I kind of ignored until recently. I took an online test RAADS test and got a pretty high score so I talked with the volunteer at my local clubhouse she knew another woman who was misdiagnosed with BPD and we called her and she told me her story which was similar to mine. She gave me the information of the office that diagnosed her with autism. I still haven’t called them I’m just so scared.

[@timseguine2]

The closest thing I had to an aha moment was an interview I was watching with a late diagnosed woman. She said, "I had learned that when I said things that I really thought, that people laughed and thought I was being funny on purpose. And they were the things I was really thinking." I knew I had been masking for ages (I gamified successful social interaction for myself and heavily researched psychology and body language), but I didn't know that was what it was called, and I didn't know it was an autistic trait. I also didn't understand what stimming was (I think I thought it was only like the rocking back and forth thing or hitting oneself). Once I figured out what those things were I think it was completely clear that I have autism. I had a lot of additional comorbid signs as a child (hyperlexia, dysgraphia, poor sense of where my body parts are in relation to he space around me, etc) that seem obvious to me now that someone should have noticed, but I wasn't a problem child and I was good in school, so nobody noticed. I think I would have gaslit myself for a long time though, if I hadn't gone through a burnout shortly before, and also had a huge embarrassing meltdown at work. My masking was impaired for months (even though I didn't know what was happening at the time).

[@margilvi5890]

1 year ago exactly.. watching a youtube video ;a girl that i know from years and her content was talking about her "highly sensitive person"said she was recently diagnosed like autistic... it was my aha moment. If she is autistic I'm also because we are the same. After this i saw your videos too and many other autistics youtubers and finally I dared to tell my husband an I showed him a video from an autistic spanish psycologist since he does not speak english and for the first time in his life he agreed with me... we even both agreed that our daugther is also in the spectrum so we are a family of 4 persons and now 3 of them are autistic ( our son was diagnosed at 2 years old ). Im 59 now... formally diagnosed two months ago. Im learning every day a new thing about me for the very first time in my life and apparently I was so good at masking that even now i have a hard time knowing if i do it. I see all your videos an always read the comments because I feel accompanied. Thank you all and sorry because english is not my native language.

[@Surfer8652]

It's probably going to end up like ADHD where it's both over and under-diagnosed, meaning there are likely people getting diagnosed or self-diagnosing who aren't really autistic and others who are but are unaware and flying below the radar. Depending on whether they cause problems for the adults around them growing up. I suspected I was autistic for a while because of my highly obsessive/monotropic pattern of interests compared to people around me and because my Dad told me he thought I was. But after researching it more, I don't think I am because I don't have much of the other hallmark traits (sensory issues, frequent meltdowns, I can recognize facial/bodily expressions, etc.). I suspect I might be ADHD or just at the far end of the neurotypical bell curve and happen to be a nerd who is a white male so it looks like the autism stereotype, but regardless the autism community is useful because they talk about common problems I also have (i.e. autistic inertia, transition difficulties) when nobody else is talking about these things.

[@NoiseDay]

You don't have to have meltdowns or extreme sensory issues to be autistic. I have learned that my defense mechanism is shut down- I don't cry, I don't yell, I turn into a statue or a useless blob. As for sensory stuff, the more I talk about my experiences, the more I realize I'm extra sensitive to sights and sounds. I didn't think I had sensory issues, but it's certainly not neurotypical to get so angry when I hear a dog panting to the point that I feel like I'm being stabbed by the sound. Just food for thought. I hope you find the best words to describe whatever it is you are experiencing.

[@carolinejames7257]

I don't have TikTok; I've never had TikTok. But even if I did it would have nothing to do with any "Aha!" moment. No social media site would. I'm 63 now, but I was in my early 30s when I had the first of those moments. Around 30 years ago, my younger sister had her youngest child (3 years old) assessed, and he was diagnosed with "low-functioning" autism. Several months later her two older children assessed. The middle child was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome, and the oldest with "high-functioning" autism. As part of the diagnostic process she and her husband talked about their families and growing up. My sister was told she was probably autistic and that at least some of her 4 siblings were likely autistic as well. She talked to us all about it, what she knew about it, so that we could consider being assessed. My younger brother (I'm the eldest of 5) was told by his psychiatrist that he couldn't be autistic because he was in a relationship. Some years later when I sought assessment, I was told that I met all the criteria but I was refused a diagnosis because they didn't feel qualified to diagnose an adult woman. I then went to a different diagnostician, for assessment, paid for the testing and returned for the results. She had gone on a 12 month sabbatical, and had left no results. After that fiasco I lost all trust in so-called professionals and gave up seeking a diagnosis. In the decades since then, another 7 of my niblings have been diagnosed with ASD or AuDHD, while several others are believed to be autistic, but their parents refuse to have them assessed. Myself and my 4 siblings are all, we believe, autistic but most didn't seek an official diagnosis. I've done a lot of reading and research, connected and compared notes with many autists, and taken a number of online tests. I scored 42 on the AQ. I have no doubt that I'm autistic, but I just don't have the spoons for trying to find a competent, experienced diagnostician that I feel able to trust. Channels like yours, Yo Samdy Sam, Autism from the Inside, Chris and Debby, and I'm Autistic, Now What? have been immensely helpful. So have sites such as Embrace Autism and journals such as Spectrum News. Kudos to each of you.

[@ShadoeLandman]

I read "Look Me In The Eye" and found out someone else was like me. But I do find myself following a lot of neurodivergent creators, even before knowing they are. I just GET them. A lot of the musicians I listen to are neurodivergents, too.

[@WoodshedTheory]

Great video Tay

[@roberttravers7587]

Great video!😁

[@Megaloof22]

The autism content videos started around the same time I began my deep-dive special interest into moss and boy did the KZbin algorithm hone it's craft. I should just send a screenshot to a doctor for full diagnosis.

[@jilleinhorn3466]

My aha moment was when I learned that autistic girls are less likely to engage in imaginative play and usually like to organize their toys in a visually pleasing manner. That is how I played with my toys the majority of the time! My sister and I also organized our Berenstain Bears book from best to worst, so we could read all of them in one sitting from worst to best. I don't think neurotypicals do that 😂

[@MomontheSpectrum]

hahahah i actually literally laughed out loud a little on this comment. Thanks for sharing.

[@jennifervieira99]

😢 I was diagnosed with learning disabilities when I was having to repeat kindergarten because of my first kindergarten teacher keeping me behind a paper stand up curtain in the hallway of two kindergarten classrooms. My siblings all knew I had learning how but they ignored it and never told any of their children how hard it was for me and the fact that I did go to a learning disabilities boarding school in high school and only because I went there is why I graduated from high school. I just recently was diagnosed a year ago with autism and ADHD OCD and learning disabilities visual and audioty how it has been affecting my life has been very difficult. I had this one sibling tell that talking about Gaslighting is a Eoke thing and I think everyone can understand what I'm saying. Gaslighting has been around for a long time and I don't and didn't ever associate it with politics and I still don't. I feel like family members have shut me down with their way of thinking without understanding or researching what a word means but to tell me something about it to get me to shut up. This siblings son and his girlfriend/ wife has a son that is in his early teens and has treated me so badly that I could have been very badly hurt physically and that nephew the father of that son when he was a little boy treated me the same way when he was a little boy. I need help with stopping that abuse from they because of the verbal and physical abuse they have thrown at me. I try harder than anyone of them but they are not around me ever to Witness how hard is I struggle in life but they put me down all the time for not doing better in life. When I ever im around the three of them the teenage boy/ my great nephew does things physically to hurt me and gets away with it and then if I say what he did I'm the one that gets in trouble and that great nephew is quietly laughing behind the person who is yelling at me. I know that sounds crazy but the great nephew has never had to apologize to us...I mean to my mom and I for what he was broken and physically done when he came to our house. He threw a Melissa Douglas toy at my head nearly hitting me in the Temple but I duck because I saw him starting to throw it at me. The gaslighting was when the mother of the teenager boy tried to say I called the police on my nephew the dad because she was the one who called the police not me. She was staying with us and I didn't want them there and when she went one night to cheat on my nephew because he was cheating on her. The son the angry because she was not there in the house so he was kick me all over my body by doing what he called a alligator roll round house kicks at me bruises and breaking my glasses. Then they said that I hit him but what was happening was I was trying to block his kicks because he was kicking my mother and I in the face. I never wanted the two of them to come stay with us because of all the drama. Now this coming week is my mother 90th birthday party and this nephew said he was going to one up me on the birthday party from her 80th birthday party. This is so dumb on how they think they have to make everything to broadcast their big party's and how much money they have. While they are not watching their son, their son is going to do something to hurt me like he did two years ago again and got away with it again and was laughing at me when I got yelled at. Never have I had wanted to be the outsider more than I do now. Because this nephew my sisters oldest son has bullied me since he was a little boy and never to have to apologize for anything he has done but twisting things around to take off the focus off him and his family that he did something wrong and saying that he could have called the police for something I didn't do. I do have high functing autism but it takes a long time to learn something so these family members are turning things around on me saying that I did something that I didn't do because I was at work when the police call was made by the girlfriend/ wife. Then the sister told me if I didn't show up at our mother birthday party for the whole week that there would be consequences for me. The mother of the teenager boy called me the R word a few year's ago and I have a different brother from my dad's side that has a daughter that has mental disorder disabilities that doesn't sit well with me. So my question is how do I get through this family problem with family of abuse towards me. I want to be at my mother's 90th birthday party but I don't want anything to do with these family members. My stomach is hurting from the stress of everything and yo top it off I don't know what to do because I fell a little over a week ago and hurt my back so packing for a day trip to celebrate her birthday is stressful too much. I'm trying to do my best but I'm shutting down and I don't want to be around this nephew and his girlfriend and son. The son was kicked out of school over and over and the three of them had to go to psychiatrists for years because of D*¥gs and other things they were doing so their son was not aloud to act like that in school but was aloud to treat me like that.

[@emoonae]

I’m four seconds in, and 1) I do not have TikTok; I rely on my sister to curate TikTok videos for me-largely cat-related videos, and 2) if anything, people sharing their autistic experiences makes me think, “Maybe I’m _not_ autistic,” because some of their experiences are different from mine. For reference, I have not been officially diagnosed autistic (too expensive for me at the moment), but I’ve taken a ton of online assessments (some recommended here), and I’ve done a fair amount of research. Nothing gives me a sense of belonging and a vocabulary to explain why I have been the way I am my entire life like my belief that I am AuDHD. (I *do* have an official ADHD diagnosis, for which I am medicated.)

[@loniwilliams82]

I had a bunch of aha moments. I ordered, "So, you think you're autistic?" after my dad said he believes he has aspergers. I went down the rabbit hole and connected with all the behaviors. Hand flapping was something I mostly dropped as a child. I repeat things when I'm stuck words or phrases I'll be stuck like a broken record. The stand and stare behavior made a lot of sense for my overwhelming shut down modes. I took the AR test aspie world suggested. ❤ The recent test from his channel I scored a 40 on the AR test. That confirmed all my suspicions. I'm now able to process a lot of trauma hadn't realizes due to delayed processing in social situations as I generally masked with copy paste behaviors like using talents such as singing and dancing for alternative responses to my behaviors.

[@adambailey8295]

Smells....that was my ah ha moment..mid day naps, can't stand social situations..just to name a few.

[@stewart5866]

Im 37 have my formal assessment in 4 days. I've started to feel like I'm making it all up but then I had a meltdown because I touched wet food in the sink the other day

[@christiaanterveen4633]

It wasn't social media. After getting overworked the suggestion that I'm autistic came up. I didn't recognize myself in the screening checklists and some books. Half a year later I read "Autismespectrumstoornissen bij volwassenen" by Annelies Spek and I realised the importance of social issues in ASD. Therewith came the realisation that I probably am autistic, and a diagnosis was made afterwards. In hindsight the similarities with the path a friend of mine took a few years ahead of me should have been a sign, as should've recognizing myself in the movie Mind my Mind. Regarding social media, I still don't recognize myself in the "Put your finger down"-videos. Neither has KZbin convinced me that I have ADHD instead / too. (The title of the book translates as "ASD in adults", I don't think there is an English version but there is a German version IIRC.)

[@JerilynnRocks]

Every time I ask myself this question, I remember how I ate pebbles and match tips in preschool and I feel reassured 😂 Whenever I wonder this, it's typically because I've gotten very good at insulating myself from things that make me feel less stable or don't require as much masking. Then I forget that I'm not neurotypical because I'm in my bubble. Also whenever I wonder outloud if I'm exaggerating and maybe I'm not autistic, my daughter jokingly and lovingly puts a stop to that. "No, mom, you're definitely autistic." And we laugh and I feel better because she loves me the way I am and her acceptance doesn't make me feel weird, which is part of why I wonder if I'm normal. It's beautiful to feel ok. But that's not the same as being neurotypical.

[@robbiegibson4112]

I realized that I had ADHD first then I was professionally diagnosed then I noticed yes I am very different and I can relate to you completely more than I can explain and I do not socialize anywhere around here. There's just nothing to do. So, here I waste my life. I plan to move. I have people around me that try to control me. It is horrible. I have a Narcissistic family. A sick group indeed. I want to run. Lol. I'm fine but , I can be much happier and much more productive than this place ever will be.

[@theresapizza]

After my second child was diagnosed my partner suggested I may have Autism too. I was shocked BUT my child was nearly 6 at the time and I had been researching parenting by listening to autistic adults like Amythest Schraeber, so I had a little nagging maybe in my mind which I ignored. Mostly because I was already 42, what could be done if I did get a diagnosis? Then I started researching Autism in adult women, which led my to Jennifer Cook's book and Sara Gibbs' book Drama Queen. It was from Gibb I found the Aspie Quiz. I took it online, alone, one day. The result was a very high score. So I made Tina Belcher noises for a few minutes whole staring at my results. Then I called my kid's neurologist for an assessment appointment. During this time between self realization and diagnosis I noticed that I identified a lot with ADHD symptoms (okay, real talk, memes too) Guess what? I got both plus a whole bunch more and now I can confidently say my diagnosis is an alphabet soup of problems. Soupy pride! Where's my parade? ( to paraphrase Margaret Cho)

[@KimKim-ev4sx]

We had a bachelorette party on the weekend and one of the friends (friend A) seemed 'even more introverted' than she usually is. Another pushed her a bit when we all sat down in a cozy bar with "Hey tell us what's going on in your head, we are here for you" She then revealed, that she thinks she might be autistic. I have been in research mode for half a year now and feel like I might be autistic and hearing her saying out loud 'my' thought was fascinating. In this moment I was thinking 'yes we are so similar, it makes sense' and especially because I heard that neurodivergent people kind of find each other. So I wanted to talk with her about everything. But then another friend (friend B) said "Oh no, you are not disabled, you have a job and can manage your life. That's just a TikTok trend, don't get caught by it." I responded very emotionally with "That's bullshit, you know nothing about her inner world, struggles and feelings and this can be the first step to a professional diagnosis. Especially with autism being studied on small boys it is kind of hard for adult women but the thoughts and struggles are real and should not be invalidated." Friend B then responded "I know that argument but I just saw a short of an actual autistic person who said 'Do you need medication? Do you have meltdowns? No? Then don't take this term from me', and 'friend A' is not that broken." Friend A was then really slumped and sad. I was very lost and didn't know how to handle the situation. Now after processing everything I would have a lot of thoughts to share with my friends A and B but I am at home now... I think it is wrong to invalidate friend A (and myself) but I somehow I also feel like friend B has a point. I don't want to take it from others and be disrespectful. I would be interested in your thoughts :) Ah and another simple thing I do (simple thing 4 :): I journal my thoughts and research. This helps me to structure everything and maybe it will help a therapist in the future.

[@gigahorse1475]

Friend B isn’t educated. Autistic people aren’t always “broken” and they don’t always have meltdowns. My brother is autistic and higher support needs than me, but I have never seen him have a single meltdown.

[@KimKim-ev4sx]

@@gigahorse1475 Thank you for your insights. That's really interesting. The more I learn about this topic the more I understand that every autistic person is unique.