Is Your Friend A Narcissist? 5 Ways To Know

[@avahollier4966]

to all the people wondering if your friend is a narcissist: if you had to click on this video to try and figure it out, they’re a narcissist.

[@Alchemizingangellina]

Damn...

[@QueenBaby-gu1us]

😂

[@PiscesSista]

😁

[@fiasco1770]

Well not really, I realized that this person had none of the traits I found in the video.

[@annebos4634]

Or at least toxic traits...

[@debbiehardy8962]

How to cope with a narcissist?? RUN. AND NEVER LOOK BACK. I learned the hard way. Never look back. The narc does not care for anyone but themselves.

[@AshlyRa]

My narc friend is outside my door ringing the bell since half n hr n m done m not taking her back. #faced a lot .

[@anlkuul8612]

He is ready to destroy his own family if necessary. I experienced that. Sick.

[@abilea4081]

The generosity thing is so true, it took me such a long time to realise how toxic and narcissistic this friend was because they always victimised themselves and made themselves out to be a saint and would constantly boast about how nice they are

[@therealjulez7886]

hit the nail on the head, I have one exactly like that description always playing the victim and asking to be bailed out but does nothing for themselves.. just bleeds me dry of my compassion

[@isabelleanderson3618]

Ugh that is so true ughhhh

[@gracehill7204]

You had one of those in your life too

[@jenniferbulpitt]

Anyone who will gossip to you will gossip about you

[@Sashapariscaldeira]

Everyone gossips its human nature, its the things certain people will say about you that you’ve got to worry about or if they’re telling all your secrets

[@AZDC99]

Certainly in cases were they were just gossiping so badly about Neighbors they didn't know. This is an activity that they had not done and the decade of friendship we had and I basically got a window into what a bitter old person this guy turned into. This guy I confided everything to as a best friend. The final straw for me was simply after their discard, after they took me back as a friend, me having to do all the phone calling or stopping by. They had no wife so was an insult to me put myself through that again, so it was sayanora! At this point I couldn't even do the steps that she suggests in the video because it should be it so obvious it's not even funny. This person who used to invite me over all the time all sudden had me redoing the friendship in a one-sided friendship man manner. Oh no, not for me!

[@annebos4634]

I gossip too sometimes if I want to blow off steam and it's no use to say it in someone's face...

[@annebos4634]

Or maybe that's not gossiping but just complaining...

[@rosedavis7591]

Exactly boom! 💥

[@karolineCPH]

The first point about trash-talking hit me hard; my former narcissistic friend would spend hours saying horrible things about everyone she knew. I was desperate to be in her good favour, so I joined in and trash-talked people I actually really liked or didn't know anything about. I felt so guilty - being with her made me a terrible person, and I really lost myself in our friendship. So happy that I chose to go no-contact.

[@huluaccount4757]

Same here no contact is best ✨

[@Vashti0825]

Your story sounds very familiar. Thanks for sharing.

[@PrimalxxFear]

Same thing my former friend did… and same thing I did. Finally couldn’t enable their behaviors anymore. Been a little over 4 months since the split was made. No contact

[@mulekahkabongo2799]

i relate so much to this. im proud of us for cutting them off

[@LovingTheCountryLife-Paradise]

omg. same here, but i would try to give the other person the benefit of the doubt and suggest maybe a reason why they did what they did, and she AWLWAYS would say..... "NO! it's because they are stingy, or because they are a narcissist." Every time. She would never let me put my 2 cents in. so finally i told her that something she said offended me, and she said that if i get offended that easily then i need to take a good look at myself. I was done at that point.

[@LittleBird888]

These friendships never last

[@Brendzji]

It took me 31 years.. 😂 im 38 now..

[@LittleBird888]

@@Brendzji I hear you, it took me til I was in my forties

[@Brendzji]

@@LittleBird888 better late thee never right?! 🩷

[@kevinjanghj]

I have realized that another aspect of the narcissistic friend is the tendency to get money and other favors off you, but refuse to pay it back out of immense self-entitlement. They can leave you high and dry but once your usefulness is done, they move onto others.

[@deljean]

Going thru this right now. Haven't heard from her in a week since I confronted her about my money.

[@kevinjanghj]

@@deljean the narcissistic friend blocked me from messaging to him, and stopped talking for fear of being asked to return the money. In your case, I would not focus on getting that money back. It is very likely gone. People who borrow money seldom have the means to return the money back to the owners.

[@deljean]

@@kevinjanghj you're right, the answer will always be no to her moving forward.

[@kevinjanghj]

@LadyJ 22 they are bottom feeders. Mostly, by themselves, they cannot really thrive. Hence, the excessive tendency to leech off others.

[@andrewbsfootballarchives4247]

Yep, exactly right. I just dumped one last week. The dead giveaways were when we would make plans and he would cancel the last minute many times. He always had to correct every little nuance of what I said that was wrong, even if the statement as a whole was correct. Tried to force his political worldview on me (hard leftists are not exactly compassionate for the most part), and was essentially just using me for his business the entire time. Every 2 of 3 calls was about either his business or asking a favor. He would never just chat to chat, but always wanted something. That is the dead giveaway right there. I called him out and he started projecting of course. Yeah, glad that people like us know how to put up a boundary and not tolerate it.

[@nestfulloflove]

I needed to watch this after ending a 20 years friendship that always left me drained. I had to hear this to validate, yes she is a narcissist and no she doesn't care about me and never has.

[@thepriestess5969]

Glad you cut the cord..... They are users, victims and manipulators.

[@anthonyvillarias8829]

@Macdealerx Well I ended a 16 years of fake friendship just recently too!! I needed this video to validate. 🥲

[@melanie4926]

I went no contact with my narc sister a year ago. I found out that my childhood friend has been in contact with her. I feel so stupid. I can see where I've been taken advantage of and lied to. It's all so easy to see now.

[@CatherineSTodd]

When I look back over 70 years, I have had nothing but "Narcissist" friends: both male and female! I was well-trained by my Narcissist Witch Mother and my violent, rage filled molester father. Wow. How did I ever survive? Yet here I am now, listening to Melanie Tonia Evans, and cutting people, family, friends, neighbors and anyone and everyone that uses me and means to do me harm. I had no idea. Same negative personalities, over and over again. But making changes NOW and there is HOPE YET! Thank you Melanie!

[@sunshine-sm6nf]

I have had mostly good friends but a couple not so good. You are right, our NMothers trained us. Mine trained me to beg, trying to get them to be good friends. Just went thru this with a so called friend that I am putting all the effort into, she could care less. Time for me to move on.

[@CatherineSTodd]

@@sunshine-sm6nf : Yes, I am finally learning to "let one-sided relationships go," with both men and women. IT'S TIME.

[@Earthether]

Me too honey

[@back2the80s]

same here

[@evaharris5239]

@@CatherineSTodd the one sided ones AND the ones that try to extract from you through inauthentic lovebombing. I am letting both go :)

[@sheilakieso1700]

I recently ended a 12 year friendship because I had drawn my boundaries with her… Her response was to change the script of events, shame me, and project her bad behaviors onto me. After some time away from this relationship, I’ve come to realize she is narcissistic & I feel a great sense of relief in not continuing with this toxic relationship.

[@lauran2488]

I laughed, too, when your ex-friend had the courage to forgive you for setting boundaries with her. It so demonstrates the unwillingness or even being incapable of them looking inward.

[@melissab3217]

When I set boundaries with a narcissist, they tried to say it was their boundary not to follow mine. I told them that's not going to work for me. Next thing I knew, I was blocked on social media before things were even formally over. 10 years of listening to their victim mentality. They have only changed for the worse, and I am finally free of the negativity. No regrets.

[@ernestineward6650]

I can relate to you.Just had a very traumatic episode with my friend who turned out to be narcissistic. I set up boundaries because I didn't like what was happening and she gaslight me ,so I did the no contact.Block her on all social platforms. No contact was and is the best thing I've ever done.My life is more peaceful and calmer now.Thank God .They're energy draining vampires!!!

[@twinflame5022]

I agree, my bestie never likes to hear she does anything wrong. She would always blame me or anyone else for anything she did. She expects me to stop complaining and tolerate her selfishness.

[@goodmorningsundaymorning4533]

Why are you "friends" then? I'm confused

[@skyflowerz]

1. They are lovely to everyone in their face but talk behind their back and pull apart their characters, relationships, or work life. They have seldom nice things to say about others. There's a difference between discussing people w/empathy and being derogatory, accusatory, and demeaning. 2. Entitled & Exploitative - they push boundaries & like to take while portraying themselves as generous, caring, compassionate. 3. They drain you - after the initial love-bombing nice stage, sharing victimization stories and leaving you feeling tired. Energetic psychic phenomenon: they're vampires. 4. Don't want your advice when they're sharing their victimization drama with others. They stay in victim and blame and are unwilling to see their part in all their poor-me stories, even if they say they are open to growing bc they're not perfect. 5. Getting nasty when you've had enough. When they're presented with a boundary they do everything they can to get under/around it or blow it up but if they fail, they'll attack you. How to set a real boundary - If they're decent, they'll be apologetic, listen, and thank you for pointing out a growth opportunity. "I now love myself enough to desire healthy relationships. I haven't been hones with you about some things in our friendship that haven't been working for me. And for our friendship to continue I need to receive _______ from you. Are you willing to look at this so we can have a healthier friendship? Bc I know I cannot continue unless we can." If they're toxic - they'll get you to take the boundary down, not call them out, take it back, and become compliant. You'll hear excuses, justifications, denial, accusations, even attacks on your character, memory, requests. If you don't give in, they'll do the narcissistic dump and run act, possibly block you on social media, and maybe even start a smear campaign to preserve their delicate ego.

[@rayc9899]

They're all the same, me, mine and myself, it's impossible to have a relationship with them...they're disgusting humans.

[@Narcbuster-bm6hm]

The narc I know does pay for things. But you always get a come back, like "I did this for you", you owe me. They never think about all the times I paid! There is always a catch with them. And never to blame for anything. They twist everything you say and gaslight. And lie so well! As soon as I backed off she turned on me. When I look back it was a pattern. LOL She tried to get back in my life too. Yuck no thanks! xx

[@back2the80s]

they twist everything you say is a big one

[@Narcbuster-bm6hm]

@@back2the80s they sure do! And lie about everything.

[@maddy4690]

@@back2the80s can you please expain your " I did this for you. You owe me" experience? I really want to know so I can apply it in my case too.

[@jcsrst]

I set a boundary with a friend after starting the process of being true to and honoring myself. I am still not sure if he is a narcissist but he definitely didn't like me asking for a behavior to change. Right away with the finger pointing, name calling, gaslighting and lying. I clearly stated the boundary and he clearly stated in so many words that he wasn't going to comply, so I let the friendship go. I was prepared to lose the friendship. I wasn't accusatory just told my truth. I am ok with what happened because I stood up for myself! This is part of the process of learning to love yourself.

[@ANGELSVEN]

Pushy, cuts me off, talks over me and gets mad when I call her out on it, interrupts incessantly, digs/zingers, late, competitive, know it all, will withold information you want/need, silent treatment, controlling, doesn't respect boundaries, says "I haven't done anything wrong."...yup!

[@Meggiebeth19]

No contact leads to healing that leads to peace of mind.

[@snapshotmarie6949]

Amen

[@youthlib2012]

@7:03 “they ramble about being the victim, but don’t seem to take counsel or advice” omg so true! My one sister is like this and people started to realize it. She would tell these sob stories about how she was the “victim” in all most any situation (especially when she first meets someone), but then when healthy people would try to give her advice to help tap into resiliency, she wouldn’t listen…. Dead giveaway.

[@bobbiellison4315]

My last friend would always conveniently be unavailable when I was ever having a hard time or needed assistance, but would tear me apart if I didn't check in with her timely to let HER know that I was ok. HOW DARE I MAKE HER WORRY!! Then I would have to hear about what a great friend she's been, everything she's ever done for me (in her imagination) and nobody else cares about me but her and blah blah blah

[@rawforreel3384]

Same thing happened to me too! It was not only when bad things but also when good things happened for me. It was always about them. Always will be. How pathetic and sad

[@BrVi_7]

The thing for me with my narcissist friend is she manipulated me into thinking others "didn't like" me and we're not interested in being my friend, that I was not a likeable person. Because she wanted to be the only friend and also that I wouldn't realize that the way I was being treated within the "friendship" wasn't right

[@cristinaplamadeala1624]

i feel you so much, i am going through something similar. stay strong, and good luck in finding good people who you'll be able to engage in healthy friendships🤗

[@surrenderinfaith]

wow thats horrible

[@lauraswanson6161]

My ex narc friend would talk trash about my other friends even though she didn't know them. She would say, don't trust them, even my family members.

[@Justkimkay]

Same thing happened to me.

[@fm6776]

When I confronted my friend and told her that I don't know if our friendship is going to work, I was responded to with a list of accusations and attacks at me as a person and a friend, it was no longer about the situation it started to become about my character.

[@melissab3217]

Same in my case

[@pollytheparrot8929]

My friend was very casual, it didn't feel like she was really sorry for her mistakes.. When I pointed out her mistakes.. She would say just 'Ok'🙄.. Or just 'Apologies'.. As if doing me some favour! I gave her too many chances, not anymore... Just blocked her😑

[@bonniejohnson760]

This is WHY I do not have Narcisstic Friends. Being a Narcissist automatically disqualifies someone to be friends with me....this is where I draw the line. Thank you for sharing this with us. Also I do DO NOT associate with other people who hang out with Narcissists. There's an old saying and it goes like this; " You are judged by the company you keep" and " You are who you hang out with." If you surround yourself with uplifting, positive people than that's what you become. If You hang around negative people who do nothing but create drama then that's what you become to.....Think about it.

[@bonniejohnson760]

Thank you Mz. Melanie for loving my comment. I really appreciate it. I always watch your videos and you are very helpful to me with your words of wisdom😃

[@charlesadams4487]

Some of my cousins know her. I'd lose quite a few relatives to learn they hang out with her.

[@nicoleadiaz1]

So why would you listen to this video or comment? You know some of us unfortunately attract these people so we're here to educate ourselves we are empaths not bad people or negative like you say, so what are you doing watching narcissistic videos? Other then to be here and put others down because we are overly nice and atract assholes, well like yourself. You sound like a awful person maybe it's you that's narcissistic.

[@grantaugustyniak6667]

Setting boundaries & follow through - If they continue to disrespect & cross those boundaries, I for one call them out on it & then go no contact.

[@AnnaJoyce24]

I'm so torn. I have a friend that fits a lot of these points. The only problem is, anytime we have any sort of argument, it turns into her telling me that I'm the bad friend and her being the victim. I have reached a point where I genuinely don't know if she's getting in my head or if I'm genuinely a bad friend. She has other friendships that appear to be great, at least from an outsider's perspective. I don't know anymore.

[@gracehill7204]

That’s what happed to me this morning

[@Nancy-dk4kb]

Just left my 14 yr friendship. They are just getting in your head. I often think that maybe I was in the wrong and I'm the narcissist because every thing that they have described, I would do. I enjoy being alone and can go for months not talking to some friends, I understand they have lives. My friend always told me that I'm an ungrateful friend and that we shouldn't be friends. After all the things that he has done for me and this is how I treat him. I knew this is his tactic, do things for others and throw it in their face as a low blow. He couldn't control me as to how he controls other friends who are more submissive and just say that it's his personality so they deal with it. The last straw was when he told me that I'm not enough and that is why I dont get things in life...tf? Amidst all this arguing, never insulted him, called him a gas lighter and a narcissist and he did not like that. That's their game, tell you that you are a bad friend, point out all the negatives that you have done, never on them though.

[@berenicebluberry]

Follow your gut, instinct, intuition etc. It’ll let you feel the real vibe when the eyes and ears can’t see or hear it ✨

[@adrianaadorah3342]

I had the same issue.. end the friendship ... the peace of mind you’ll have after is so worth it!!

[@Secorad]

I have one too

[@launebar5262]

When you meet a new person, and a mutual friend later tells you: "He/she told me, he/she likes you sooo much and thinks, you are a great person (etc. etc.)" and you're getting uncomfortable... Thinking: 'That person only met me once? He/she doesn't know me...?!' - Than listen to your instincts! That's typical love bombing. Doesn't only happen with narcissists, who want a love/sex relationship! All of my friends, who acted that way in the beginning, later turned out to be narcs! Same thing with hoovering. You end the friendship, and the other person comes back to tell you, how much they miss your friendship, how they realized, what a good friend you were, bla, bla, bla... Put your own ego aside; that's so important! Don't fall for their flattery! Stay strong!! Edit: Another red flag is, when you only met the person, you know them one week or so. And they tell you about a really significant problem, seeking for your help. A really big one, like major heart break after a breakup, an important legal problem or whatever. And they insist, that you help them immediately, crying their eyes out. Even though they have other friends and family, who could help them. People, they know way longer than you. Why do they come to you with something that big? After one week? Yeah, good question! Run as fast as you can!

[@launebar5262]

@Ronesha Davis I read somewhere: The biggest problem isn't, that people don't see red flags, but that they don't wanna see them. Trust your gut! If something seems off, it probably is. And don't get me started on that 'sense of humor' topic! I'm so sick of sarcastic people with their smug faces and their snarky comments. "It was just a joooke! Where is your sense of huuumor?! You're waaay too sensitive!" Yeah right - That is our problem here! My sensitivity. Nice try.

[@dd_97751]

Wow. My ex friend was literally a narcissist. She had every single one of these qualities.

[@Indigo_newness]

I'm glad you said ex... Well done for getting rid of her....my is ex too had these qualities as well.... So happy her and her family are all gone.

[@louiseryan416]

This is fascinating and I really wish I’d seen it before a certain friend came into my life who literally sucked the living daylights out of me! I’m healed now but I’ve learnt lots about myself too so not all bad.

[@suba474]

Ive had a similar situation recently, where I literally fell in love with my friend. She is incredibly beautiful, but narcissist. I decided to go no contact.. Was hard at first, but now I have way more energy and literally feel reborn. She was wasting my time, draining my energy... Im blessed that Ive moved on.

[@dd_97751]

@@suba474 and it’s always about THEIR life. My friend would SELDOM ask questions about my life, or if she would, it would be very quickly before reverting back to things regarding her life.

[@dd_97751]

@@suba474 I’m so glad you’re out of that situation!

[@Barbara_Banks_1]

Yep! I got the narcissistic discard on memorial day. We were "friends" for 14 years. She ghosted me for 3 months, then came back speaking as if the rift never happened(Threw email only> I told her I don't have a rest button. I can't just resume chatting like nothing ever happened. I need resolution. She wrote me back a few paragraphs, and at the end said, "After very deep reflection yesterday and today I have come to this conclusion I'm unable to give you the commitment that a friendship requires." That still has me going in circles... After being close friends for 14 years she says she's unable to commit to being my friend?. ugh... and she writes this to me on memorial day? I think I need counseling for this. Thank you for your videos. Much appreciated.

[@thepriestess5969]

Reverse psychology, 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@AZDC99]

Good for you for standing up for yourself. She tried to punish you for that. So much for reunification!!

[@athiaj1199]

“Ghosting” as in ? Was the last message sent by you or her? In my case, I kinda cut off everyone because I was going through a very bad phase of depression and didn’t want to talk to anyone about. Later I tried reaching out, but many didn’t reply. I guess it was my fault for cutting people out in the first place. But the people I considered the best friends stayed by me- even if I hadn’t contacted them for a year. Now I keep in touch with them more often. As we become adults, or live in different countries, distance, time differences can cause a dip in the relationships. I guess we need to understand each other’s situations as well.

[@melissab3217]

Ah yes. Isn't it funny how after you tell them you're no longer interested, they pull it around like it was their decision...

[@lauraswanson6161]

I found the advice part was opposite in my friendship with a narc, she kept giving me advice, awful advice, like don't visit your elderly parents, cut your son off, don't buy a house.... and would get upset with me when I didn't take her advice.

[@terriwhalen3618]

This is such a great video, thanks. In my situation it is a friend living out of state and don't know well. However, I became her listening ear due to being laid up from surgery. I spot off the bat something not right: 1. Wanted to team up to share expenses. I didn't commit. 2. Gossiping about everything and everybody, saying horrible things 3. Called and texted numerous times day and night and never even said hello, just went into gossip and or complaining 4. Hijacking the entire phone conversations 5. Began berating my friends and gaslighting me about my decisions 6. Starting sending me groceries, clothes, unbelievable, I still don't know about this, I am supposing it was a manipulative move to secure or hold me in debt in the future This list goes on. Thanks for listening!

[@thefalsecritic9520]

I'm so thankful for the resources you and other narcissistic experts bring into my life. I wouldn't be half as conscious as I am today without all the great material on youtube. I know this information would''ve helped me tremendously years ago!

[@pourladentelle]

I'm just thankful to God everyday that I no longer deal with this type of person!...ohhmmyygod, I'm FREEEEE at last!

[@MasonLeCompte]

OMG “Slimed!” That’s so accurate! It’s exactly how I feel after being around her!

[@gregorym8340]

This is such an important topic. Once I realize that a friend is narcissistic I go no-contact. It takes me about a year to recover from the psychological, emotional and financial damages. Just when I think I know what narcissism is and I believe that I know how to protect myself, another friend shows up or reveals them self as a narcissist and I realize that I’ve been duped and abused once again. Although all narcissists have many traits in common they are all so different.

[@MelanieToniaEvans]

GM truly knowing the signs is not the answer to avoid - the inner work on ourselves is what is needed. Have you ever checked out my free 16 day course www.melanietoniaevans.com/freecourse ? It explains all of this in detail! xoxox

[@theresaandrade5708]

Some are not N's, just lousy friends. People can be toxic without being a straight up N.

[@bonniejohnson760]

You can find healthy friendships in support groups that specializes with the issues of narcisstic abuse. These ppl. went through the same or similar experiences dealing with narcissist and the abuse they put been put through by these vampires. Call 211 ( United Way) and they can point you in the right direction as to getting you to the right group. Plz. Keep us all intouch so we know how you are doing.

[@bonniejohnson760]

@@theresaandrade5708 People who are streight up toxic ARE also Narcs. Because you can't have one witout the other.

[@redefinedliving5974]

yessss

[@JaguarZewFlow]

You just described exactly what happened with one of my so-called friends to whom I said goodbye.

[@ukaaqlima6816]

I'm trying to get away from my narcissistic friend, waiting to get out from this rent house... away from her... Pray for my mental health

[@ilovejessicah]

Some narcissists (especially those well-off financially), will take and take in the form of emotional and energetic vampirism, and/or use material things to ‘buy’ time and attention from others, especially caring and empathic folks who always want to help and have a harder time saying no or just walking away. I had to do this recently, and coming to terms with that was hard, but I finally feel free. You are who you surround yourself with, and yes!! It can take a lot of willpower to finally walk away from these one-sided friendships/relationships. At this point, I’d rather focus on my own development than try to fix grown adults who refuse to admit to their troubles and seek professional help. Sometimes you have to wish them well, and move on. When you reach that point, you will start to attract folks who are on the same page of committing to growth, learning, understanding, and mutual support. ✌️💗

[@vikkara2043]

You just explained my relationship with my soon to be EX best friend

[@maurjoy4104]

You made me laugh Melanie - the "friend" in question never allowed me to get past the first sentence. I was treated to pretty much every consequence you mentioned. It was painful at first, but now - WHAT A RELIEF to have freed myself from that monkey on my back. Thank you.

[@brooklynlady96]

Me too!

[@fulltimeonfire8536]

I think it's important to point out that often when People just want to be heared, they get bombarded with unsolicited advice.

[@carolynbridgeman5981]

I was pretty sure my friend is narcissistic, but then when I heard you define her almost exactly I was absolutely certain. Sigh. She exhausts me. I have 'friend broken up" with her two or three times and she keeps creeping back around.

[@mistyjan5122]

I cannot get over how SPOT ON you are when it comes to the generosity portion.

[@blakcanis]

Your program is great and it's true, it isn't just for romantic relationships, it's for friends, family or work where you experienced these dynamics especially family of origin. I thought of a another reason these types will block you on social media, it's to have control or hold the cards so to speak where they can unblock and Hoover later on, basically leaving themselves an avenue of access to you(supply). Good video😊

[@blakcanis]

@Clarissa Eagan yep I get what you mean. I should have clarified on blocking, if they block you first, say on FB, you're basically blocked from blocking them, so the avenue is open to them to unblock you and message you, unless you get a chance to block them first then it's a done deal, they can't get to you.

[@CherylMuir]

“Some sort of exciting mutual shenanigans”- SO true and well said

[@HoomanM]

Fantastic video, it was very useful to me. my narcissistic friend always uses me to talk about himself all the time and he is not even interested in what is going on with me, lack of empathy is very tangible even when he pretends to care.

[@Secorad]

My friend mainly never admits when she is wrong. Its always my fault and somehow she becomes the victim . Blaming me for “ taking it wrong, too sensitive , or i’m an awful person.

[@returnofthemack8347]

Thank you for solidifying my decision to end my friendship with my narcissistic homeboy.

[@Julie-hi5fy]

I have slowly this year let go of more than half of my friends because they are natrastic. It is hard journey to self healing and seeing my own narrastic characteristics but i fi ally feel like i am loving myself enough for the first time in my life at 38 years old, it is like weights are being lifted even though there is pain.

[@AbsoluteMdot]

Yup this was spot on! In the beginning my Narc ''Friend'' hid who she really was and portrayed herself as a decent human being than the signs started to show. She would cut me off and over talk me while I was talking and switch the topic back to herself, walk in front of me leaving me behind so she could be in the lead, give me back handed compliments, show up to my birthday dinner over half hour late with a smirk on her face while she was apologizing and blamed her boyfriend for them being late. My Narc ''Friend's became even more Jealous, Envious, and Insecure when I became engaged. She didn't like when people would tell me my ring was beautiful so she started wearing random rings on her ring finger even though she is not engaged all because she is Jealous of me. Fast forward to now I am married ( June 8th 2019) and she pretends that she is married when she is really not. She tells her boyfriends friends to call her by his last name even though they are not engaged or married. She does a good job at exposing how truly crazy, Jealous, Insecure and envious she is that I am married. Nuts!!!

[@deljean]

I have experienced the whole first half of your comment up until the engagement/married part. Its the worst feeling.

[@AbsoluteMdot]

@@deljean I am so sorry that you had to deal with this too. Narcs are truly sick and twisted. I cut her off and never looked back and now she is stalking and spying on me, Stalking my friends on social media to try and befriend them so she can isolate me. All her plans to bring me down have failed. She is filled with the Jezebel Spirit!!

[@deljean]

@@AbsoluteMdot yea like when she feels some type of way about me for whatever reason or we have a disagreement she'll only like or comment on my sister's post and completely ignore mine to make me jealous because she knows me and my sis is very close. Or she'll tag one of her other friends and give them compliments to make me feel insecure or something. I just ignore her. All she really do on social media is talk about how everyone hates on her and is jealous and insecure when it's really her the entire time

[@AbsoluteMdot]

@@deljean Continue you too ignore her and do not entertain her. All she wants to do is push her insecurities off on you. She wans to make you feel jealous and insecure but in reality she is the Jealous, Envious and Insecure one. My Narc ''friend'' showed up to our mutual friends Halloween party and I said a vague Hi to her and ignored her the whole evening and acted like she didn't exist.

[@deljean]

@@AbsoluteMdot yea im nit falling for her bs anymore. Now if she wants to start acting funny when i start totell her no from now own, thts fine with me. Shes just exposing tht she was using me in the whole time

[@chompchomp7853]

my narc friend will sit with me the whole day (+ night+ till morning), quietly, intentionally creating a boring, stressful scene. She won't talk till I bust my ass for a convo. If I do the same back to her, she'll sulk and sometimes get almost violent. I can almost never express my real opinions, I have to agree with her 200% if she's not acknowledged, she'll start mumbling threatening stuff and yell out something like ' Fuck this! Had enough! Why can't I be myself!' Meanwhile it's me who's changing 24/7 accordingly to get by.

[@lifesabeach8133]

Trying to fix things with a narcissist is like trying to squeeze blood from a stone. I wouldn't put myself through that. The worse thing for a narcissist is when you grey rock them (if it's not possible to go no contact).

[@sandeeg8032]

Crap ola. LOL!!!!!!!!!!! Spot on Melanie. Great information for all of us to chew on. Sands

[@milahoxton1079]

Oh it really is super confusing when the narcs image is very much based on being a generous and kind person. But a big moment for me was trying to think of a time where she was generous for just being generous out of pure kindness. I couldn't. All the times she was generous it was actually a manipulation to get what she wanted. There were always strings attached and the goal posts would always be moved. But it's always made out to be for the good of everyone else, but really its for her and only her. And if people don't give her the recognition and adulation of being such a wonderful person, that's when the martyrdom comes out, the sulking, the withdrawing, trying to make people feel bad and the silent treatment punishments would happen.

[@teeganohara5698]

I appreciate you for this really great advice, but I really love you for 9:21 "Stand back and watch the three-ring circus come to town." :)

[@-east-coast-florist]

So glad I found this Video..As embarrassed as I am, i realize Ive been in a Friendship with A Narciss. I was in a Tuff place when my Parents passed & Brother went Away for some years,now back. So this "Friend" had A garden inside A BIG Garage with a Loft upstairs. We talked he asked if I wanted to stay there & I definitely did.I was going to be Homeless,or in a BAD spot for a Few. But we hung out all the time,into the same stuff & just were good friends,I thought..Welp he is all about Showing-out & being the Man.It's all about him and his Ego & he loved to be told "ur killing it" or "ur nyce at whatever" hed love it..But I was there,and ended up taking care of everything in the Garden,and at the Loft.Everything he'd ask me to do or Minipulate the situation for himself,his benefit. I just thought u Ride For ur Friends, UR there for ur Friends 100%, I was there.. He even Got one of our friends a Job at A BIG Grow Facility & still never told me anything.Cuz he wants me here to run his Garden..Again all for him.. I'm not getting ANYTHING from it in the sence of money,Nothing,a place to lay my head..It's not anything special..At all..But still I'm greatful, and I love what I do, AND I'M GOOD AT IT..He knows that would change my life,for sure..And he never said jack to me about it..Nothing..Got Introuble w the Good-ol-boys & never told me he got a Box in the Car.. Never wrong,even when I Google Proof, he'll skip right over it and move on.. So I'm in An Abusive Controlling Friendship..Fk..!! And its so messed up Cuz I really thought I was just being a Genuine friend.. Please let me know how u would deal with A Guy, a so called BestFriend..So i thought..I'll have to talk with him soon..And something needs to give.. Thanks guys..

[@godzillamanstreb524]

I realized 3 good female are narcissists......once I realized (all at different times within a few yr period) I gradually faded from their lives....not available for lunches, take a bit longer to answer texts, covid isolation, don’t reply to texts.....etc....was scary & hurt a little, but I did it & the other side is so much better! Never again....Only healthy relationships from now on 💖🧡💛TY Melanie 💕🌸💕NARP has helped me soooo much💗💚💗💚

[@smurfmama2020]

I had a friend who was a narc- I knew a lot about narc dynamics but couldn’t see it completely at the time. I was still taken aback when she suddenly discarded me and my son. When you see this behavior it is just what you are seeing and feeling. The main red flags on that friendship were always making it seem like she met new exciting people who could potentially take my place. Hierarchies of friends and you can be replaced anytime. Told extreme pity stories to her therapist about her childhood sexual abuse, and got large monetary gifts from the therapist. Seems obvious but wasn’t to me at the time. Her therapist told her she never has seen anyone as abused as her.She became a real monster overnight after 5 years of friendship, she accused my 8 yo son of stealing money from her house on an ongoing basis even though she had 4 roommates she rented rooms to. They are dangerous. Please believe red flags and your gut, and don’t continue with someone as a friend even if you feel lonely, take care of yourself and follow your feelings. It is unbelievably hurtful. I accidentally met her in the street a couple of times and even though she acted all friendly, there is ZERO left there- she was never a real friend. Only a vampire/user. And I am no contact completely.

[@thepriestess5969]

Yes, you've WON!!!

[@amberkim87]

Wow....my mind is blown I've had to cut a friend out because they acted just like that for years. I couldn't take their drama anymore

[@PrincesssKeilani]

Won’t hangout if it inconveniences their time, yet will eventually explode on you if you don’t drop everything when you’re on call. You feel exhausted after spending time with them, or relieved if it goes well. Will never let you get a sentence in, interrupt whenever you start talking. You will be the listener for hours but never allowed or able to speak about anything or get a sentence out. Even when you try to respond or relate to what they have to say, it goes right back to them before you could finish. If you ever want to do something you want to do, they will explode on you, call you selfish, or other names or bash your character, projecting what they are onto you. Even explode on you in public in front of other friends . Seriously, BEWARE.

[@palomavonwood3423]

OMG I feel so exhausted after hanging out with my friend. The only talking about herself, or about somebody else, etc I literally make excuses to not hangout with her thinking she will pick up on why I don't want to be around her but she will not.

[@ANGELSVEN]

My sister exactly.

[@kempmcguinnis5509]

Thank you for this adise. I was just verbally crucified by my friend claiming I had insulted her numerous times recently. I was at a loss as to how I had offended her. I apologized indicating that I would never want to offend her. Four of us were playing Chinese Mahjong so I did not want to bring others into what I knew would be an uncomfortable situation. She said you open this up to the public let have it out. Again, I apologized, and she berated me. I remained silent throughout the game. When I left, I know she bent the ears of the other players. I thank you for this advice and I will try it. I walked on egg shells all my live with a narcissistic mother, I don’t need this in retirementI

[@franielmundo]

Omg , We experience this all our lifes , in all the comments I can see the pattern

[@berenicebluberry]

Omg yes, thank you so much for this!!! Checked the box for 99% of the signs and I cut this off today! I found my voice and she didn’t like it so I did myself the favor and cut it off before she could reel me back in with guilt, she said, “I’m not giving up on you” LOLOL I’m so glad I gained all this incredible clarity before entering 2021 🥳

[@theresaandrade5708]

An N friend tried to come back. I realized that he was doing the same thing he always did- talking about other friends taking advantage and doing nothing about it. Paying and expecting something in return. I felt drained and did not resume the friendship. He always abandoned me at the worst times, like Christmas. He always played the victim while putting up with the worst behaviour from others. I had a dream that he was an N after the last time he disappeared and decided I had enough. I am having trouble with the idea the N has no soul and at the same time is an angel in disguise to help us wake up. How can both those things be true?

[@MelanieToniaEvans]

Hi Theresa, In Unity Consciousness there is nothing but Source. It is simply the degree to which we all operate in that Consciousness that makes all the difference. A narcissist can never come into the light of consciousness except in the rarest of occasions and then many times for only a brief flash of insight. So of course they have a soul, but they have disowned it and choose not to access it. Only they can change this. No one else on earth can. So this negative disavowal of the soul (commonly referred to as an A.I.D: angel in disguise)- even in its negative presentation it can be used to spur healing in others. My healing program is all about bringing in the light of consciousness to replace the dark traumas that being with a narcissist can activate and which they use against us to such painful effect. The answer to healing is to get the focus off of them and onto ourselves. Let me show you how Theresa, you can come on over to my website for links to my free resources and of course NARP, which is the only way I know to heal for real from this painful dynamic. www.melanietoniaevans.com/ Love and blessings xoxox

[@jo-annahicks3324]

@@MelanieToniaEvans .....beautifully, powerfully said...as always.

[@theresaandrade5708]

@@MelanieToniaEvans Thanks for explaining this Melanie! I will definitely look into and use those resources you mentioned.

[@Zeepjeliefs]

Very informative video, thank you! My narcisstic friend became abusive, it started with insulting jokes, which she denied, and ended with her hitting me. This was the first time I became angry and she ghosted me for a year, only to try to return like nothing happened. I think she could not own up to it, because she would have to own up for all the times before. I am relieved and also still miss her sometimes. It's difficult if someone like this was with you throughout childhood. I do have made much more better friends, never knew it could be so much fun and energizing to me.

[@dawnelizabeth1828]

Aww, I love the validation and education.Take care, love, thanks again and you're welcome.

[@michaelpatrick7888]

isnt she great--melanie??ive learned so much from her,,

[@dawnelizabeth1828]

@@michaelpatrick7888 Yep, very true.

[@Sabatalks]

Dealing with this is so painful. Thank you! ♥️

[@JoannaSternbergYoutube]

I love how Melanie says "and if you LIKE this click LIKE!" everybody else just demands that you LIKE their stuff! (but of course I love this and clicked like and subscribed!) ❤️

[@MelanieToniaEvans]

Aww bless you hun. xoxox

[@JoannaSternbergYoutube]

@@MelanieToniaEvans ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️!!!!!!!

[@michelefizer2774]

My best friend is a narcissist. I'm almost afraid to let her the hell go because she will tell all my secrets. I wouldn't do that to her.

[@ukaaqlima6816]

If you're afraid to leave her, try not to reveal any secrets or story to her. Keep it all to yourself. It the least you can do... But i would just leave her, if she wants to ran her mouth about your secrets, let her be, karma will get her eventually. You need to take care of your mental health.

[@michelefizer2774]

@@ukaaqlima6816 thank you!

[@laura2842]

so this friend decided on silent treatment when I cancelled out of a trip and I gave her plenty of notice. there were four other people going so it's not likes would be left alone. frankly, I am glad she did this, I still have trouble understanding the odd behavior but she was getting bolder in the last couple of years. she didn't like my boundaries, and while I miss the friendship of 10 years or so , I know I am better off.

[@fatum7554]

Omg this exactly happened to me too like a month ago with my ex(?) bestfriend of 5years

[@CaitlinFarar]

I’m late to the party, but Ohhh Myyy Gooood…when you said she messaged you after a year to “forgive you” I thought that was totally relatable. Same thing happened to me, and when I didn’t respond in the way she wanted…. it got kinda ugly. Especially, after I gave her the IDGAF attitude. 😁

[@matchbox420.]

My narcissistic friend would go out of her way to appear to be nicer than everyone else she knew. If we were in the car together and someone pulled out in front of me/something else annoying, and I muttered something like “what a jerk“ she would go off on a tangent about how she was trying to be a better person and not talk negatively about anyone, and how “choosing to only see the negative” was going to make me a bitter person. I don’t know how I put up with it for 15 years

[@simonmay2030]

I was on a night out with 2 old mates (mates whom I would later understand to be ungenuinne/Narcs). I was often the punching bag of the group as I'm a bit of a goof ball and like a laugh but it was clearly non reciprocal with these 2. We hopped a few bars and then I bumped into some other friends they didn't know (angles). So the 2 Narcs took a back seat for 20mins whilst the angles brought out my best side regailing positive stories and banter. The 2 Narcs excused themselves and told me they were going home. I stayed out to have fun with the angels. Next time I saw the Narcs they told me they did indeed stay out but didn't care much for my other friends. I thought it was odd as this group of angels were perfectly likeable people, none offensive and up for a good time. It wouldn't be until years later i realised the whole thing was about power. The angels brought the best out of me whereas the Narcs wanted me to be their punching bag. Not that any of this matters as I had a good night out bantering with the angels whilst the Narcs snaked off to lick their wounds. Some people can't enjoy themselves unless they're in Control.

[@cattleNhay]

Once you identified the Narcissist, any time they say anything just cut them off and say: “a friend of mine says your wrong “ Don’t fall for their guilt trips after, say “ whatever “

[@valeriebrown2578]

My best friend for 10 plus years told me she was too broke to get me something for my birthday. We all went out of town to my husbands parents cabin in Arkansas and literally on my birthday she was saying she was going to order some cookies for a friend at work. That was literally a slap in the face and then she proceeded to tell me I was jealous after I expressed I was upset. She also mentioned she knew I would come crawling back to her. She’s constantly putting me down. I’m a very sensitive person so yes things do hurt. I’m building a wall and never letting her hurt me again.

[@XXallycat101XX]

A few years ago my best friend at the time and her sister had picked me up from the airport since I was visiting and she said we were going to go to dinner so I went to dinner with them and after all three of us ate both of them looked at me and told me they didn't have any money. Both were extremely narcissistic and I can say many years later I finally walked away from that "friendship".

[@carasachs4004]

There are more subtle/covert narcissists too, who appear to be very generous. Like the narc friend who makes herself indispensable to you, making you reliant on her. Especially in the middle of a pandemic that’s so easy to do. I’m quarantined and my friend did this. She’s incredibly needy, won’t even wash dishes without someone being on the phone with her (which makes it REALLY hard to hear). She didn’t ever really make time for me, just shoehorned me into the few moments during the day/night that she wasn’t with someone else. Like calling me from her car - “I have 5 minutes to talk”. When I wasn’t available at her beck and call (multiple times a day), she pulled back and now I have no way of getting certain essentials. She took up so much space that everyone else got pushed aside. And now I’m kind of getting the silent treatment. She’s always dead set that she’s right and brilliant, and other people just don’t understand. She doesn’t understand social boundaries. Once she came over to my apartment when I had just washed a lot of dishes. The dish rack was carefully stacked and very full. Delicate glass items in there as well as razor sharp blades. Without asking if she could get a plate, she just yanked one out of the dish rack and things went crashing down. She thought I was overreacting. About a month or two ago, I was doing some paid work for her. Out of the blue she suddenly says “I don’t want to have to think about your feelings” . She didn’t see any problem with that. I’m a survivor of 43 years of severe abuse by 3 narcissists in my family - mother, sister, father. I’ve been NC with mother and sister since 2015. My sister still sends texts, emails,.acting like it just been a short time since we’ve talked. I’m seeing more and more commonalities between my abusers and this friend.

[@Lana.Lulu.]

I'm dealing with the same thing loved one!!! Covert narcissists are hands down the worst!!!

[@thepriestess5969]

Run away while you can

[@cherylbuttram6229]

Thank you so much !! I enjoy all of your videos which are healing me one day at a time .

[@MelanieToniaEvans]

Hi Cheryl, If you really want to heal for real, check out my website where you can hook up with my free resources to connect to your inner being and reprogram from the inside out. That is where the true healing is hun. www.melanietoniaevans.com/ Love and blessings xoxox

[@sweetgirl3901]

I blocked my narc friend over whatsapp ,from signal..but she slipped into my phone inbox today,somehow making excuses I shooed her away...man she is a draining creature....i just cant tolerate her

[@rainforrester7819]

Thats exactly what i did.. i asked my friend to meet me in the middle or i am gone. I have been gone for two months now.

[@jesseroussellmusic]

my friend has literally done all of this... known him for 16 yrs and he ALWAYS has played out the Victim Card/mentality and blocks people during a disagreement...instead of talking things out.

[@dawnelizabeth1828]

Aww, I miss and love your miniature Tiger.Please say hi to him, he's a gem.

[@bronwyntanner4501]

Oh oh oh oh you are so incredibly accurate - with everything! I set the boundary - she imploded / exploded went into JADE - Justify Argue Defend Explain - instead of a simple - oopsy - sorry. Which is what normal people would do!!!!!!!!

[@jazmine1391]

Other one is when you tell them something they’ll twist your words and then accuse you of attacking them

[@hildogwoof8504]

omg girl. I'm going through this for two days and I cannot believe I didn't see it right away. I need to really get back into these vids again.

[@andreasissons7766]

Wow I saw this video at just the right time. I’ve been debating whether to contact my narc friend after not being in contact with her for 6 months because of her behaviour to a mutual friend. I’ve known this narc friend on and off since I was 12 and cut her out when I was 16 because of the way she treated me. I think I became friends with her because my mother was a narcissist and it was ‘comfortable’, familiar to be with this new friend. When I reconnected with her about 16 years ago I realized she hasn’t changed one bit over the years, always using, manipulating, sponging off people and rarely ever reciprocating, always complaining, being a victim and yes it's all about her and she never inquires how I’m doing. I really like your example of what to say to the narc friend and I’m definitely going to use it with her. At this point I’m ready to leave this relationship since it’s quite clear that my 5 year old grand kids have more emotional maturity than she does.

[@andreasissons7766]

Did this and it was exactly as you predicted in your video. She responded as if it was an attack on her and she had no interest in changing. She loves herself the way she is and it's basically me that has the problem. I'm relieved and really not surprised since it confirmed my gut feelings. I hope 10 new doors will open.

[@allsouls5997]

There is a difference between passion for truth and those who are sneaky to gain produce.

[@CherylMuir]

Brilliant information ❤️

[@MelanieToniaEvans]

Aww I am so happy to hear that this spoke to you sweetheart. Love and blessings xoxox

[@monikaleszko5343]

What about when they ask you how your relationship is going and you only have positive things to say and then they bring up a toxic relationship from the past that happened four years ago in your face saying you can’t trust men etc etc ? What’s this

[@TinyRedFlags]

The Narc in my life doesn't fit the #2 criteria (Entitled and Exploitative) in her relationship with me. When we are together she will quietly listen and observe and let me be the talker. She rather treats me with veiled contempt, like a third class loser, and pointedly excludes me from her life, when I used to be put on a pedestal and could do no wrong. She acts as though spending time with me is an obligation and a chore. It is very hurtful. The stereotype of the Narc who talks only about themselves and monopolizes conversations, does not apply to her. I believe she is a more sophisticated type of Narc, who rather drains you by passive aggressive behaviors that chip away at your self esteem, and talking down to you. If I ever I need her for anything, she is not there. She will begin ignoring me if I share info with her about any troubles or health issues in my own life, however, if she does ever need someone's support apart from her husband, I am the first person she reaches out to, no question.

[@notagain779]

Heather, you could try treating her with the same behavior she give to you, and see how she takes it. What does it tell you if she has a problem with it?

[@TinyRedFlags]

Jeanog If I start to pull away and ignore her in return, she will immediately have her antennae up and will start inviting me to do things and will throw me some crumbs of attention. I assume this is get me back under control.

[@notagain779]

Heather, that's funny - get you back under control! You could train her this way to work a little harder to keep you happy with her! I had a Narc very similar to yours. After seven years, I'd had enough. I'm familiar with the veiled contempt - everything your Narc does. It's as though they all went to the same Narc school. I decided to see if she could take exactly the same stuff she treated me to. I was really curious, and since I wasn't worried about keeping her around, there was nothing to lose. I started to find fault with her, talked down to her, etc. She flipped out. Started to sort of unravel emotionally, and thought she was going to discipline me as though I was her badly behaving teenage daughter. When she threatened to end our "friendship", I knew she thought I'd panic and start apologizing. (back under control! ha-ha) It backfired on her though, because I made no attempt to fix anything. Then, because I know her pride is HUGE, she could do nothing but walk!

[@jo-annahicks3324]

It sounds like she may be "data-mining", when appearing to "listen quietly"....storing away information, to demean you with later, when you are vulnerable. If you still want her in your life...I think you need to lower your expectations of her....the pedestal treatment, was obviously "love bombing". I'm very sorry you have been hurt like this...I can relate.

[@TinyRedFlags]

@@jo-annahicks3324 With your Narc, it's like you applied a universal Narc test by being dismissive and critical towards her, and she flipped the eff out. By the time you got to that point, you were already detached emotionally from her, so she had no more power over you, and you could just watch her unhinge and scramble to get back the upper hand. You were already done, so you let her walk away and not give into the games. Nice work! With my Narc, the data mining is definitely a possibility. When she's in her silent/observant mode, you feel this condescending vibe, almost like she's trying to follow the babbling of a mentally ill person. She'll act like she doesn't quite follow what you're saying, as though it's a bunch of wild tales that don't concern her. I think the data mining, if that's what's going on, is to take back to other people what I say, not so much to remind me of later. I suspect that she takes a grain of truth and then adds lies on top, sometimes many lies, and peddles them to our mutual connections in order to poison their perception of me. Yes, this person is very toxic, and it's only because she used to be my closest ally and supporter (during the lovebombing years), and our lives are so intertwined, that I've had the hardest time figuring out her true colors. She made me believe that she was my number one fan. She used to call us soulmates. And I believed it 100%. Getting her out of my life will be the hardest thing I've ever done.

[@mysticpizza02]

Recently I met in again with a woman I worked with I realized she had narc traits and she has been rude and gave snide comments to me but as you know everyone thinks she's a saint lol anyway the final straw when she was rude to me in my own home I decide to block her and move on, last week I bumped into her while out walking and I told her she was rude to me and I had to blocked her but instead of her apologizing to me she started crying this woman is 65 years old then stupidly I re friended her and unblocked her she sent me some photos of her holiday I sent some of mine, then she proceeded to call me my name spelled wrong and not my name I have known her for 30 years and she can't get my name right! the crying was emotional manipulation!

[@rubberbiscuit99]

I have experienced this same type of thing from a narc before. Just sickening.

[@back2the80s]

They wont let you feel comfortable in relationship. You could be having a good day together and then will throw in a wench in it and start argument over small things or something months or years ago

[@scarlettclark9764]

Excellent advice Melanie. Thank you. You look BEAUTIFUL. ❤❤❤

[@Di...747]

I fortunately did not go through a long victim ship. I stopped feeling like a victim and went into owning my own participation in it. I came to terms with it by immersively educating myself on the subject at all levels. I have listened to so many podcasts and videos on the subject of narcissism that it become almost like being brainwashed in a positive way. Small waves of hurt still happen. But for the most part I'm feeling very energized setting goals and succeeding. Now understanding that they are responsible for their own demise. Special thoughts to the ones that are going through this now. Watching videos on Super Empaths are very positive also.

[@Donnnny2010]

Narcossist s are an epidemic so many videos. never see advice on coping with them. its a destructive trait in our societies that needs to be dealt with. we need unity more than ever nowadays.

[@imtheeviltwin9597]

How do you say goodbye to a family friend of 13 years?

[@_just_browsing_]

Wow....thank you so much!

[@TylinaVespart]

Oh thank goodness for this video. I've been fairly sure but kinda doubty about an ex friend being a narcissist... But she did all these things. Especially the not taking advice and drama stuff.

[@brigidquinn2279]

I am on the first day of leaving my narc husband, whom was raised by a covert narcissistic mother. I can not go no contact with my ex or his mother because we have children. How do I handle future conversations when the sneaky inserts of back handed compliments or passive aggression begin? Moreover the "guilt" of leaving is hard enough, and needing to be a positive role model is important for me as a mother. Therefor, I do not want to respond as cold, uninterested, or unkind (when I try the grey stone method, this is how it is interpreted) as my ex has said.

[@kate4biglittlevoices]

This is tricky, be smart, always remember that you CAN never let your guard down. It's time for you to become COVERT CLEVER. Your not being dishonest, your protecting the very life of you and your children, never forget . The best thing while going through this , is to never overstate anything, create your boundaries, but always keep a smile, silence is GOLDEN...they won't be alarmed and on the attack.. it's not your job to argue, prove your point, change their minds, just smile, and inside, you know your winning ...minimize phone contact and text, no matter what.and record it and back it up ..I've made countless recordings that I lost due to it not going to cloud or phone or device breaking , just add a separate recorder so you have it! Give copies to trusted one, or file in safe, give to legal, and whatever you do, don't allow children to overhear you , anytime you speak, to anyone, assume your ex is in the room, keep your words sacred. Only law enforcement or lawyer can know ..until you have your children raised, and many years between this separation ( which narcs take badly always ) you must keep the highest guard. This is long, but not as long as the years I've spent escaping control of narcs ..please don't underestimate .best wishes to you .

[@finchman1]

They like to hijack conversations. You feel so emotionally drained.

[@eternalsunny]

You are the best! I am so glad I saw this! Love 💕 to you!

[@carinaulm6349]

This whole thing about them not caring about your solutions.... The one I know is very "I wasn't really paying attention, don't repeat it" and "I need you to apologize for everything you did" when I didn't do anything. run and don't look back.and don't let them victimize themselves if you know it's not true.

[@DaughterofZyion]

I set boundaries and told them , they told me I'm sensitive and then war broke out over me.. they trashed me to lots of people and even my hair dresser.. sadly the hair dresser joined in with her and repeated the same word attack.. birds of the feather flock together