it doesn't get better

[@thedeepdarkwebb]

Still relevant a decade later. People who are disliking the video are a part of the problem.

[@elaiws4834]

I agree with actually things have gotten even worse

[@Whatever94-i4u]

As it always will be... Life sucks, and it doesn't get any better.

[@GoblinAttacForce]

@@Whatever94-i4unot true

[@elaiws4834]

11 years and still it’s true

[@MrEOM41]

Life gets worse and worse…

[@michaelcooke8665]

Once you turn twenty it's over

[@lovethyneibor22736]

What's ur opinion on the philosophy of antinatalism?

[@michaelcooke8665]

@@lovethyneibor22736 there's far too many people in the world today the global population will be unsustainable within 30 years most kids born in the past ten years won't have much of a future job opps etc their parents won't be able to pay the bills rent and put food on the table soon enough imagine how the kids will end up.

[@iiCounted-op5jx]

oh god I have 2 years left

[@jam9852]

Funny it was over when I was 10 unbearable at 20 and I completely gived up now that I'm 30 I'm a broken bitter resentful person always exhausted and extremely depressed it gets worse the older you get.

[@keshawn888]

People don't like the hear the truth lol @ the number of dislikes. This just proves that people would rather be given lies of false hope & false promises

[@tonberry9930]

Loving the naysayers who criticize the video, specially when most of them do so and justify it by showing that they actually completely missed the point of the video.

[@kurtanglerocks555]

bullying has made me paranoid, deeply depressed, very angry and extremely suicidal -_- i hate most people because of bullying

[@Weaklytune]

Same

[@jaemelancholy1684]

It doesn't get better it gets worse

[@yes.2913]

For real.

[@yes.2913]

I’m not gay though never will be

[@Alt3ran]

Completely agree! This community is so judgmental!

[@TayDoesStuff]

The fact that this is still relevant ten years later just proves the point

[@extremelylowqualitycontent6387]

It doesn't get better, it just gets more bearable.

[@trmp9923]

doesn't even get more bearable, I'm 35

[@volerasphere]

Yo! I remember this dude when this video first came out! I even messaged him when KZbin had that sort of thing. He responded and told me he himself was bullied extensively throughout his school years and that he still gets called a "fag" and threatened to this day.

[@jeffreycraigg]

yeah, it was down for a couple of months. i'm not sure why or what happened, but it's back now! :)

[@alliekisu]

Is someone here on 2023?

[@elaiws4834]

Yup if been watching this video from almost 11 years and still true sadly

[@DSLReaperX]

2024 :/

[@AustinTheWeenieTickler]

He’s right. Life only gets worse and worse. After we die we probably all go to hell anyway.

[@elaiws4834]

From hell to another hell ?

[@jam9852]

​@@elaiws4834 yeah of course whoever created us doesn't care about us and doesn't care about suffering maybe God if it exists is the same as Satan but disguised as a good guy I mean they are portrayed as vengeful and merciless in the bible apparently if we don't worship praise or feed Gods Ego or even believe in something we can't see outside of the Bible we get thrown into the lake of fire for all eternity forever and ever but he totally loves us right? Life isn't fair but he plays favourites? He knows that we're going to hell or not because it's God's Plan meaning we have no free will or can do anything to change our outcome he hates Sin yet commits vengeance which is a form of Wrath which technically is a sin yeah totally not hypocritical when God breaks his own rules and punishes humans for not being perfect the only way you could never commit a sin in this world is if you were born a vegetable no one is likely going to heaven not even Christians most I've seen are just as bad if not worse than most people. Clearly we are only here to serve time after that the real punishment begins. Whoever created a world like this has to be EVIL we are screwed on earth and we'll likely be screwed over when we die we can't win all we can do is just hope it's lights out.

[@RY97z]

False. We are already in hell and suffering the 3 stage of it. (Mental,Physical,Emotional) we suffer this when we inhale ( in hell) and exhale ( exit hell) and we do that until we die. There is NO hell after death Becuase we are already here.

[@thetrueempress]

Did the folks who disliked this video or are commenting did they actually listen to the video completely....wait nope nevermind I forgot with whom I was referring to.

[@StrainOfThought]

I loved this! I nearly spit out my coffee when you mentioned the wheelchair thing. I'm not homosexual, but the "It Gets Better" craze has gotten to me too because I had to deal with my own brand of crap in highschool, always got told it would disappear when I graduated, and instead things immediately got worse. I experienced a lot of the things you talk about happening in the "Gay Community" in the "Jewish Community". Being awful to one another transcends all races, orientations, and creeds.

[@bergnattcom]

Of course, for some people it does gets better. But I love this video because this is reality. There's always going to be homophobes and there's always going to be bullies. In all the other "It Gets Better" videos they just tell you to wait out the bullies and that everything gets better, but chances are you will have to deal with people who judge you and throw comments at you even when you are in college or when you're grown up.It believe it can get better, but I don't believe it can get good.

[@volerasphere]

yo I remember you! I've seen this video a decade ago, holy shit. I don't know why I randomly thought of it and searched it. Are you still monitoring this channel?

[@Malevolence17]

After 19 years of depression, hate for not being normal, losing friends and being bullied, I can say it does get better with time. I've come to terms with myself and have even found my first real relationship after waiting so long. Slowly a dark hole inside me is filling up, the feeling of being alone, the feeling of hate is leaving. I'm finally starting to feel loved again and human, things do get better, you just have to have patience and hope

[@depressedmermaid9948]

How're you doing?

[@existence.5806]

​@@depressedmermaid9948probably 6 feet deep. It doesnt get better

[@stevemeyer9736]

@@depressedmermaid9948 Hey there! Doing well, thanks. Don't even really think about being gay anymore, been in a relationship for 8 years now, have 2 dogs and a place. Didn't go to college but have a decent software engineering job and life is nice, it did get much better than what it was.

[@jeffreycraigg]

my it doesn't get better video was deleted, but somehow now it's back! enjoy

FAKE VIDEO by a homophobe to promote hatred against LGBT people. Please flag all this guy's videos as hate speech.

[@tonberry9930]

Jerry Reiter My gaydar suggests otherwise.

[@filmmekker]

Life gets better for everyone at some point. Then it gets worse, then better, up and down until death. It's a big roller coaster ride. That's life.

[@MegaAdam5]

I'm not even gay and you took the words right outa my mouth!! kudos to u man for speaking your mind and giving a lil reality slap to the idea of everything gets better. ive gone throw some fucked up shit in my life and for the most part. and from all ive seen and been apart of it dont get better for 90% of us it pretty much stays the same. still dealing with racist and sexist assholes and all the high class looking down at us. good words man.

[@marscoutly]

He just deconstructed my entire life. And all of it was true...

[@Nitruix]

Great video. Assuming a lot of detractors either didn't understand it or didn't watch it at all.

[@XplicitGlam]

i always felt like an outcast even around the gay community. go to college? hope you like being buries in student loans. it doesnt get better for all of us. sick of people rubbing their "success" in our faces.

[@MrsCourtneyZeeshan]

Thank you for this. I am not actually gay, though this also applies to my own issues and addresses them very well and openly and honestly. It applies to most human civil rights issues and movements, actually, in some way or another. By addressing these issues, these biases and prejudices and ignorance, we have more of a chance of being able to move past them.

[@SerendipitousGallery]

The 'It gets better' campaign seems like a series of lottery commercials i.e. it gets better for some people and hang on because you might yet win the 'safe to be who you are' lottery and be able to freely live your life. I appreciated all that you said about the real possibilities about college prospects and the divisive habits in our own community. Such a big deal is made about us being 'gay' that sometimes I forget what a small thing it is to have in common with such a large group. thanks

[@nickfrosttotoro]

Bitter truth :D

[@willmac235brn]

You are absolutely correct. Everything has categories. Things will "get better" for those who are willing to act. We need to make these changes -- ones that you mentioned. Change only happens when we act. The videos aren't to make 'The Change' there are here to help inspire. The real change comes from people's actions. I believe this is what you mean (or something similar), but the way you express it to others makes it hard to listen to. I agree with you. Others deterred by ur comm. method

[@Taric25]

You are amazing. I absolutely love how you talk about the division of the so called "community" is nearly an exact mirror image of the one teens face in school.

[@bellsbenetta6268]

No he's spot on. Wipe your tears, and smell the roses.

[@keshawn888]

There is a fine line between keeping it real and being positive(when you know things are bad). Thank you for keeping it real. Something that many gullible sheople of this world(America especially) don't have the capacity to do.

[@Laineyraider]

He does make a few valid points, it happens differently for everyone. More than once I would see all of the "It gets better" videos and think "but what happens if it doesn't get better?" For me personally, it got a lot worse before it started to get better. As things are now, they've certainly come a long way but I wouldn't call them "better", I would call it more, as he says, "less bad".

[@jhad6799]

I'm not surprised that this video got so many dislikes. Many gays are in denial and hate hearing what's true.

[@icyivy2424]

Haha 10 years after this video is still *Relevant*

[@tbayallstar]

Thank you for posting the REALITY behind it all! You have my respect big time!

[@Bstevie8292]

I agree, life gets worse the older you get. It’s unfortunate that life is like that.

[@iiCounted-op5jx]

but why does it get worse?

[@bigbannana9088]

@@iiCounted-op5jx I mean there is killing yourself and not suffering anymore

[@vietnamemperor123461]

Absolutely positively infinitely agree with you!

[@ilovethebroadway]

This Guy speaks the truth.

[@stepsergeantttv621]

i love love love this video

[@WolfgangPwnz]

The It Gets Better campaign is meant to save young lives at the moment while we TRY to change things for the better. Suicide is a crisis situation that needs to be dealt with immediately while mass social change will take time and it is already in the works. Telling people that it gets better, wait it out, give it another chance, you may just start seeing the change going on that does make things better in your life.

[@dark86moon]

Very good! I'm surprised this video recieved so many thumbs downs, but I assume its from those that didnt watch all the way through. HUGE kudos for concious LGBT peoples. You touched on many core issues through a pessimistic, however enligtened, way lol. Honestly I think "It gets better," Lies within perception. There are some, though few, poeple who live in ways challenging the norms you've mentioned. But as a majority, YES, i agree with you dude. Lets all challenge these norms together ^_^

[@Mummy323]

I agree completely!

[@GeorgeGorge]

I can't believe how relevant this is after 13 years... Kind of sad really.

[@Alt3ran]

Hey Jeffrey,I have to agre with you 100% that it DOESN'T GET BETTER. Those people who talk are famous people and they have all the connections. I have been dealing with loneliness of being gay, this gay community is rampant with bullying in itself, with so much emphasis on body image, big dicks, stereotypes about certain groups, further alienating each gays from each other. I've put myself out there, tried to meet people, sought counselling,changed my approach and thinking, had positive thining

[@rochegador]

I agree, it does not really get better. I'm in college and it did not get really better.What changed is that I learned to deal with the - often subtle- homophobia and racism (WHICH DID NOT GET BETTER EITHER)

[@Acronaut]

Also, I'm kinda disturbed that you posted this on my birthday. Although I can't fathom why.

[@sailornaruto39]

The movement may what to provide more disclaimers like "hey it might not work for you but it did for me".But as you can see it gets better for a lot of people. I feel the movement is more about letting people know they don't have to let it hold them back

[@CorvusBruxo]

As I said to other guy, I can't speak too much because we're in different countries, but I can say I've known more than one not rich (I can't say poor, it's different), or female, or average looking, or not white American people and I didn't hear most of them complain.

[@ThePROTO1TYPE]

I had loads of friends, was never mocked by strangers and certainly was never physically nor verbally threatened - never mind assaulted. I think it was because I refused to be categorised as "different" and was thus accepted. I am out to my family, my friends and all my work colleagues (including my students) and there is absolutely no problem. Maybe I am just very lucky. Are there others out there who can say their experience of growing up gay have been equally positive ? Let's hear them then.

[@RyanHendra]

(part 3) Do you still feel this way or have things changed since you posted the video? I hope you feel differently now...

[@Lily2U1515]

my understanding of the origins of the "it get's better" is a heartfelt writing to all of us about our judgmental attitudes, and the changes of heart that have occurred through the dissemination of this different "non-judgemental" way of thinking. Viewed this way, you are, in making this video, a part of that change, you are a part of what makes "it" get better.

[@himasf]

No matter how fleeting a sense of community is due to some tragic event/ pride event this does not discount that these moments of community is real and healthy for people involved. Everything is temporary. And just maybe, the lesson here is to seek out more of these opportunities to make the community stronger. Just because something goes away very quickly does not mean it's not positive/helpful/worth experiencing.

[@SimbaLion]

thanks for bringing it back, I think this is a really important video, nobody else on the internet (that I've seen) has the courage to speak out about the reality of this world.

[@gautrytube]

By the way, he does present a solution. It is to think for yourself. At the end of the video, he mentions that we should think about things critically, and not just believe everything that people tell us. Live outside of the box, and not regurgitate what we hear. This video is all about thinking and observing the world around you.

[@PeerGyntTheOnion]

Yeah, the world sucks. It always did and will always do. But I think the "it gets better" project must me considered as something wich regards one's attitude and not the actual effective situation. If you're more confident, if you have surrounded yourself with people who love you and whom you love, it's really going to be better.

[@apricebcd]

An excellent vid. I know my life didn't get better. I wish it had.

[@Newleaf2012]

I swear ive watched this video at least 10 times and I would love to hear/see more videos from you !

[@trackspikes101]

(Cont.) I was very preoccupied about finding a guy before, but the fact of the matter is....it isn't that easy, especially since the majority of the community where I live is white/latino, and black guys who "don't do dark chocolate". Though disappointed, the reality check that I recieved has made me all the more wiser, and far more productive with reference to myself; so I'm happy for that. Thanks for the video. You should discuss more issues, and remember that "haters gonna hate". Cheers.

[@TaraKitaideHunter]

It's true that nothing ever gets completely better. There will always be people that hate and misunderstand people that are different. But the pain does lessen. I'm sorry you've had such a horrible experience with life. Live long and prosper, friend.

[@bushwhacker2k]

I really liked the line about the futility of searching for solutions to a problem by introducing another problem. Issues have to be addressed fundamentally, not subjectively. I COMPLETELY agree with your line about how simply giving an optimistic one-liner like "it gets better" is really irresponsible. Things become better by addressing the negative aspects of things and figuring out a solution, not operating under some karmic delusion that good things just happen eventually.

[@willnye]

(continued) committed suicide when I was 17. If I had met just one gay person who could have told me that I could do something about the bulling and pain even though I would still have to do it myself it would have made all the difference in the world. I thankfully had a friend who saved me from myself but not everyone has that friend. Thats why LGBT youth need our support, so please consider changing your message to something that at least gives a little hope.

[@docarmojm]

I wouldn't expect, but I completely agree with you when you talk about the "sense of queer community" and the exclusion of stereotypes: nobody wants to be fat or "like fat people", and "you can even be sexy if you're not white, but you're gonna be treated like an exoctic animal".

[@am-pb5kj]

Im 47. "It gets less bad" is right. It doesnt really get better.

[@LucaDofus]

disappointment? I truly believe all the things they say in those videos 'cause that is what happened to me. I'm 26 now, and I don't think bullies will have any more power on me. I know my sexuality know, I know what I am, I have lots of people that love me and support me, and If I ever encounter someone acting as a bully again, he won't have power anymore. Hope I explained "decently" what I meant. Sorry for my english.

[@Fin-Marko]

WOW! For once I really listened. Well spoken! I'm older and from different cultural background, yet I was able to relate to so much what you said. Most certainly there is no queer "community". I'm a former activist in glbtq-organization, and got so frustrated and disappointed with people. There is expectation for political correctness and not breaking taboos - to be part of rainbow coloured mass. And now they want to get married and be like "everyone else".

[@D0vin00]

It doesn’t get better.

[@teacuptoe2143]

*tunes in 10 years later during Australia fires, covid 19 outbreak, locust infestations, crop disease, oceanic plastic pollution, and Trump being president* . . . huh . . .

[@flesniloc]

I live in New York City and every gay human being here is a testament that it doesn't just get better, it gets fucking amazing. Tonight I performed a semi-drag show to over 200 mostly straight strangers and received a standing ovation. I have no bullies in my life, and in fact, I bully the heteronormative.

[@3506Dodge]

Gay men are trying to protect their emotions from a hostile world by doing all that Jeffrey describes

[@Terribadification]

The definition of better is "less bad". Fact. While it may not equal good it does still equal better. In the same way "it gets better" applies for the majority, and while I agree that it might not get better for everybody it's important to spread the stories of the people who've made a difference in their own lives and thus, their lives have become better. To give hope to some who maybe are the edge of giving up.

[@CorvusBruxo]

My friends aren't something to discuss here. I don't need happy friends to defy anything, I am pretty happy myself, and as I said, we're in different countries, BUT that you make a generalization, it doesn't mean that your generalization has to be right, it can (as all things in this world) be wrong, too.

[@ceives]

Better is a relative term. If something has gotten 'less bad' it has de facto gotten better. The pace of change in the global social/political/legal situation for LGBT people might not be fast but the tide is generally moving in the right direction. But this isn't what makes it better. What makes it better is that we as individuals grow up and mature. We accept ourselves and learn to find an inner confidence which will allow us to cope with the shit in our lives.

[@accidentalmadness1708]

Things get better for those who were being dramatic in high school and actual had stuff going for them. For some us it’s downhill from day 1.

[@GooglFascists]

jeffrey I'm with you on this: If you are younger gay and approaching middle age, (which for gay people is over 30), and you start obsessing about wrinkles, grey hair and being seen as less desirable by younger partners it WILL get worse! But you can't KEEP a 20YO body forever unless you "off yourself" young. I am in my 60s and miss some things about being a kid, BUT realize there are BOKU 20YOs out there who ADORE an older partner. There is less angst to be mature & gay. It's still GOOD!

[@HitWithFish]

*sees title* "Nope.Avi" *returns to It gets better video*

[@keshawn888]

The best way to go is to surround yourself with real and like-minded people while fully embracing yourself without letting society tell us what we are and/or what we ought to be. Fuck all these stupid labels that have been placed on us because the fact is, there is wicked and beautiful in every shape, form and fashion. Its not limited to "race", "gender", "sexuality" etc. It all depends on what truly lies in the individual's heart.

[@Ismokegas420]

Anyone here in 2021 it says the same

[@elaiws4834]

Hell yeah it doesn’t get better if your ugly

[@Ismokegas420]

@@elaiws4834 not ugly bro 💀🤣

[@CorvusBruxo]

And it's something that can be easily demonstrated, since you can see many of my mesages saying "him/her", "he/she", etc. Don't complain that other people gives you "a semantic argument" and then try to use language against me to try to justify the whole society's psychology on your argument

[@gautrytube]

Another thing that I take from this is the fact that many in the LGBT community can feel like the whole world is against them, not just for having to deal with discrimination from the outside world, but also the blatant discrimination within the community. I just find it fascinating how people think he is mad because of what he is saying. Please understand that there is a difference between being angry & being passionate. As far as I'm concerned, he is passionate & speaking the truth!

[@Whatever94-i4u]

To be fair, it's not a community. It's just a dating pool and as with all other dating pools out there, it's going to be clicky, and very selective. It's not a friend group, it's a bunch of people competing for other people's attention and for getting laid.

[@truthbreaker]

if you shoot for the moon and miss, youll land among the stars

[@cashernandes1]

PART 2: As a matter of fact, I was hardly ever bullyied because of my sexual orientation, but I was harassed almost on a daily basis on account of being a nerd. Plus, there shouldn't be any gay groups at all. Groups that arise from the premise that there are people out there who enjoy having sex with people of the same gender is not in the slightest moral. And I'm not being a homophobe, I'm just being a decend human being.

[@david15214]

...but a loving, or at least less hostle gay community could be a real benefit to me now. I go to the bars, I drink, and I find a false acceptance that I crave but at a painful cost...I've supported a concept of community in which I truly do not belong...it is a lie. But, for all that, I entertain myself to know that for some of our younger brothers and sisters that do meet the standards, it does get better. I'm torn apart on this...thanks for your insight and the strength to say it. Dave.

[@LukeJamieson95]

I've never had any of those problems.. I'm only 15, I'm openly gay and even have straight male friends.. Just thought I'd make it clear that every person's situation is different, so don't tell us 'it doesn't get better' just because it didn't for you.

[@HBuisty]

I think the point of the It Gets Better campaign is the message that once you leave high school people (most anyway) grow up. This includes bullies who realize that bullying isn't about the people they bully, but themselves, and it includes the bully victims who learn that they are worthy. Perhaps it didn't get better for you or your area but being negative about it doesn't help. Be the change.

[@tatertotbobaandpieck]

I think I might end it sometime this month.

[@jaemelancholy1684]

Good luck 👍

[@bigbannana9088]

Me too

[@iiCounted-op5jx]

see you there

[@Otterlyconfused]

I feel sorry that this is how you feel. As a college student I can say it's gotten much better here and it's sad that you are the kind of person who hasn't experienced life in a better way. Your pessimism may somewhat be true, but even if you don't go to college tat doesn't mean you're life will never get better.

[@JordanjamesX]

I think Jeffery makes a cogent argument that the whole it gets better campaign is aimed at middle class gay folks who have the economic means to move out of small towns, pay for college and move to a big city. The whole it gets better campaign ignores gay people who are not wealthy or even middle class.

[@zero22884]

To start with, I agreed with you that it didn't get better, but when I started making my video I had the realization that it does get better. As I continue to grow, I am better able to handle reactions from those around me. Also, it got better once I learned to love myself. This is kind of the glass half empty vs. half full mentality. It only gets beter if you want it to be better.

[@meanderingthoughts2]

There is an underlining assumption that highschool is the lowest point for GLBTQ youth, and once they graduate they can go off to university and be in more accepting places...but thats a very white middle class privedlged trajectory. For many GLBTQ, they end up on the streets, or struggling in mediocre jobs surrounded by narrow minded individuals where systemic bullying continues.

[@kurtanglerocks555]

as a bully victim and i can say it does not get better. It gets worse BUT its not the bullies that effect me its the way most people befriend the bullies and just treat the victims like shit more. Really think if people stuck up for victims then do you think they would of commited suicide..... NOPE. Its the way the bullies get love and respect from other people which annoys victims. From a bully victims mind

[@BlueSmoothie4Eva]

@Zunecrazy I get bullied everyday. cold hard bullying and guess what?? it's shit and for a long time I thought i would never get out of it, i was in a dark place, but thanks to certain people in my life they helped me turn my view around, I STILL get bullied everyday but now I don't care, I'm like "you know what? screw you too" It doesn't get better unless YOU make it better, it doesn't happen on its own and that's what the campaign is aimed at, helping US make it better.

[@medicca]

Again, it's cooler, not turning cold. When I say closer to good, i'm not implying it's great or good now, it's just closer than before. Having numbers to work with can also be misleading as we're judgmental on what is hot and what is cold based on those numbers. But there are no numbers when we're talking about being gay, unless you count how many times you've been bullied, and I suppose being bullied countless times then, and less now, would be "better".

[@Gx0xThxIxC]

"better" means.. "less bad." the advert doesn't say "it gets perfect." just a thought.

[@AkuziSuper12]

He's not saying "give up here's a gun". He means "Hey it can get better but there's always going to be downfalls"...

[@cashernandes1]

Ops, that was PART 3 bellow.

[@forsythbill1]

I believe the it gets better campaign is aimed at those children and young people who are on the point of contemplating suicide because of bullying and self hatred .The point being that school does not last forever,it is a very short part of anyone's life and with maturity comes the ability to choose and the right to be a citizen with all of the responsibilities and rights that go with it .As for hate crime if you don't want to be jailed for them don't commit them.

[@starRavenCraft]

I must say i LOVE you for making this, i'm a 20 yr old gay mixed person of color and i can for sure tell you that what you said about gay guys being racist and " you have to be white " is TRUE, I've seen more blatant racism from GAY MEN then straight people, and if they do want to date you they treat you like an exotic animal if you are a person of color. not to mention gay men act more like the cast of " Mean Girls " then some women i know