It gets WORSE before it gets BETTER: understanding why change is so difficult

One of the primary reasons why people reach out to me for a consultation is for help changing a long-standing relationship dynamic. While it is possible to alter even deep-seated issues, it takes time, it may not resolve completely, and it always, always gets worse before it gets better. In this episode, I'll explain why this is the case by approaching change through the (often unappreciated) lens of behavioral psychology.
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Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.
#psychology #change #relationship

[@psychacks]

One of the primary reasons why people reach out to me for a consultation is for help changing a long-standing relationship dynamic. While it is possible to alter even deep-seated issues, it takes time, it may not resolve completely, and it always, always gets worse before it gets better. In this episode, I'll explain why this is the case by approaching change through the (often unappreciated) lens of behavioral psychology. Social Media Facebook: facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: kzbin.info/www/bejne/jaO7c62HZ613e7M Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: kzbin.info/door/SduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXwjoin Book a paid consultation: oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #change #relationship

[@ZelenoJabko]

Ryan Terraband, humans are not rats! 🐁

[@spencerjohnson2911]

​@@ZelenoJabkoI'm not sure if that's a joke or not (hard to tell when people write over the internet), but his name is Orion Taraban. It states that on his KZbin channel. 🎩

[@MaruTheGreat]

One of the best pieces of advice my grandfather gave me before he passed was this... "what you're not changing you're choosing"

[@ChrisHarperKC]

Damn, that's succinctly profound.

[@nelsonzambrano5788]

Tattoo worthy quote....

[@steveraynor2753]

That's a fact. Thanks for posting that. I needed to hear it. Another good one I heard is. You get what you tolerate.

[@jeniamalugin8206]

Yeah, we kinda project that which we want to be given, and kinda choose to absorb, that which we are willing to give.

[@paulbukkens3773]

Bless your grandfather. That's a good one.

[@SPACEDOUT19]

this reminds me of my sugar addiction. once i start eating again, it gets hard to stop it again, rather than just continuing not eating it.

[@Niko132]

I quit drinking and got sober 6 months ago, and for the first 3 months it was hell to stop. My life has completely changed for the better since then. Crazy how far a habit takes you only until you stop or it destroys you..

[@kikilicious99]

Congratulations! How did u do it?

[@TurnOntheBrightLights.]

Congratulations boss 🙏

[@michaeldodd9260]

I did the same. I’m over a year off booze and weed. Life is 1000% better. I’m 41, wish I did it sooner. I just went straight cold turkey. Hard as hell, but all great things are! Good luck gentlemen!

[@Minnow4397]

Good for you keep going. January 13, 2020 was my last drink. How did I do it? Read a couple books on what alcohol does to you. Then you’ll probably figure out you have more reasons to stop drinking than to keep drinking. And I was a hard charger. Never went to work drunk but hungover yes. My free time was centered around having booze. I look back on it like some kind of leash i put myself on. Now I’m 44 and totally sober. 12% body fat great shape and have so much more time in my days. Wish I could get back all the time I wasted laying in bed hungover.

[@Spitzbube]

@@kikilicious99 Sounds like a carbon copy of my experience. I understand that struggle way too deeply. The after-effects of alcohol interfere with my life now, though they didn't seem to years ago. I feel like I am lying to myself each time I drink. "I'll just have a little and it won't slow me down tomorrow." Then of course I drink, my judgements and self-control go down with each drink, and I am hungover the next day.

[@linwoodavenue4300]

“The truth will set you free. But first it’s gonna make you miserable.” - Mike Tyson

[@CodyTravers_]

This is the exact reason that behavior must be checked (man or woman) immediately. The longer you wait to stand up for yourself, the more extreme the response. Went through it in my early 20s, you wouldn’t believe how upset people get when you don’t let them pull their BS on you anymore.

[@gevans5446]

sooo true. It can even get to the point when the behavior is not even correctable.

[@dudleyviban2764]

You nailed it! Then they’ll try whatever means to make you their slave again, especially gaslighting and shaming.

[@onebridge7231]

I just had to start over at 51. Ended a 12 year relationship last weekend with a woman I desired, still do and loved very much but she stopped reciprocating and I became miserable. A switch flipped after an argument and I was done. Not ending it would have been disrespecting myself by staying. Never stay in a cold and dead bedroom relationship and think there is some way to fix it by Acts of Service.

[@Jumpingjackflash123]

Him talking about never reinforcing it again is very true. If I have a single drink of alcohol I’m good but it’ll lead to full blown drinking again. Literally can’t ever touch it again. It’s the same with quitting my vape. Can’t hit nicotine again or I’m a full blown addict. Sucks but it is what it is

[@rupertmurchie8155]

Good on ya for quitting the vape. It is my last major vice and im struggling with even starting to stop.

[@pcharl01]

I respect your insight but it probably is easier in relation to your own actions than providing a reward/punishment toward another person's actions to you. Obviously if you intend to continue the relationship with said person(s).

[@tamasgyorffy1]

thats self-discipline, women are rarely interested in that, if their parents have not included that in the curriculum very early

[@mmommo-hx4dx]

"Half-measures avail nothing." (Alcoholics Anonymous)

[@italist306]

Me too I've been trying to quit weed for years , I did two months and one relapse I've been back at it for 3 now... Thanks for the insoght

[@ryanc4185]

This is why gambling addiction is so dangerous. I apply this to looking at how my mom is addicted to slot machines. Imagine that the "no win" pushes/pulls are extinctions but a payout even a minor one is enough to draw them back. I always tell my mom she has no idea the psychology at play.

[@mysmartphonechannel]

It's also how a lot of video games work. Some people are super angry playing them but they keep coming back for that one win of the day.

[@verb0ze]

Agreed! This is why I stay away from anything that might be remotely addictive that can be potentially destructive. It's so easy to say "ok, just this once" and next thing you know, it's become a habit.

[@ggstylz]

Partial Reinforcement Schedule. Also used in social media platforms and across many aspects of society. You can know all about the machinations gambling entails, and still capitulate at any given moment through having reinforced that behaviour intermittently. In the context of gambling, it’s possibly up there with some of the most evil ways this model of reinforcement has been implemented.

[@jimdandy8996]

VR schedule of reinforcement

[@kikilicious99]

I am.not a man but i found this channel about 2 months ago and watched just about every video posted. I look forward to uploads. This information, although targeted at men, is very useful for women as well.

[@stevensalinas1994]

He also has videos specifically for women only and as a man myself, I thought they were great tips for making your guy happy. You should check them out

[@jimknight5957]

Thanks!

[@mynametrong5508]

god damn

[@KK-bc6ok]

Rich

[@Qumi222]

This should be pinned at least liked👏🏾

[@user-li5lv7ep9k]

@@KK-bc6ok or gratefull

[@couragefox]

Woah that's the most I've ever seen on any channel

[@BarriosGroupie]

It's shocking but a fact that the person we see in the mirror is one of an infinite number of possibilities that we become attached to through familiarity. This is a good thing because it creates stability and routine, but can mean long term depression if we don't at least moderate putting ourselves in uncomfortable learning/growing situations for the sake of our long term development.

[@gary6449]

Small correction: "It gets worse.. before it gets even MORE worse ! "Rock Bottom" is the place where one must end up to rise to the challenge of ascending to a better place..

[@davidbowman2035]

💯

[@steelearmstrong9616]

Most and many in denial men will not like this hard to swallow fact

[@bluebay0]

A lot of people hit rock bottom several times-they improve for a bit and then relapse into undesirable behavior. It's somewhat unclear why some stop it from happening again. I have a friend who went cold turkey and he's been sober for many, many years. A good chunk of his life at this point.

[@Ponytown00]

It is scary to have experienced what happens when a relationship reignites the same toxic patterns of behavior, constantly for years, with lackluster discipline in making the necessary changes. It gets exponentially worse each time until something breaks severely.

[@aadarshchunkath1737]

Thank you for consistently sharing such great content with us, Orion. Your efforts are deeply appreciated.

[@FulvioGa]

I will get broken if you continue to release such good material with this frequency.

[@Vantitas]

This video is exactly what I needed to hear regarding the vigorous battle I’ve been fighting against my carnal urges for the past few months now. Specially when it comes to identifying the triggers, withdrawal symptoms, not giving in when you seem to be at your lowest and continuing to maintaining discipline long after the issue has been resolved. Because in order to fully have control of yourself, you must simultaneously align your mind, spirit & body.

[@TwinTalon01]

Mr. Taraban, you’ll be at a million subscribers within a year. This is priceless content. What’s more, THIS is how we change the culture back to something workable. Cannot thank you enough for your work.

[@user-bi1fm5yw2b]

I quit weed 5 years ago. It was hard at first because I lived too close to friends that used. I moved away and now I have no cravings.

[@vtmegrad98]

My experience with not giving in to the extinction burst was for her to ruin me socially with lies that I abuse her, so she could get sympathy and have other men give her "attention" food pellets instead, while still raining hell down on me. Imagine the mindset of a woman who claims you're abusive, files "at fault divorce" with claims that you're abusive, yet refuses to move out of the house to get away from you. Meanwhile, I'm on month 16 of living in front of video cameras 24/7 to protect from false assault charges. Sometimes nothing will ever fix the behavior. The best you can do is try to escape it.

[@EmileJobity]

Oh my this is interesting...i used to handle my gf phone bill for 12 years and when she started behaving poorly I stopped paying it. And she said the same things that doctor said, "you used to pay my bill for years and it's not fair you stopped. Pay my bill" I never saw that aggression in my life. It was just as the doctor described. Things got really bad and the relationship never got better and it ended. We didn't survive through it. So there that risk as well.

[@ggstylz]

Never give up on giving up reinforcement of bad behaviours. Even if you do capitulate after a long time under pressure once, you can still get back in the saddle with behaviour that’s been helpful.

[@jimknight5957]

Thanks for you insightful content, the $ thanks does not begin to reflect the amount that this information has helped to constructively understand what had happened to lead up to my divorce. Now I am able to more effectively change for the better, letting go of my resentments and forgiving everyone involved.

[@chadkerwin4719]

You are, not one of the first, but the very first physcaritrist who actually tells it like it is. I have appreciated and have grown to look forward to your videos. I find myself curious about the next topic. You are a credit to your profession Dr.Taraban Thank you for making these vids in a way that can reach even guys like me. Not omly are your videos informative,but very entertaining. Thanks

[@kikilicious99]

I'm just realizing that ghosting is a form of operant conditioning. The technique and the responses are exactly what happens when one person ghosts another person.

[@tamasgyorffy1]

attention / presence withdrawal is one of the most powerful tools against female bad behavior. and it saves you stress and time and energy, when you withdraw. only that coming back may be too easily interpreted as permission to start again. they tend to learn less well than rats, we know that.

[@donj2222]

I made a learning program that reinforced choices that led to a success outcome and diminished choices that led to a failure outcome. Playing against itself with different starting random starting points on choices, some programs were bullies, some were patsies, and some were nice to others. The bullies would learn to keep bullying as long as there were enough patsies, but as the patsies went to extinction, then the bullies were the next to go, but then they had to unlearn what had worked on patsies, since there were no more.

[@Deadbrothermg123]

*AN APPRECIATION COMMENT* Doctor.. I have been on youtube since forever, I watch a lot of channels, and many of which are high quality. But for the life of me, I can not find a more perfect channel than yours. You are very smart, and to the point, every single video of yours has been plenty of help in ways that are hard to imagine.. this is by far my favorite channel on KZbin, and I don't say this lightly Thank you, doctor. I hope you keep doing what you're doing, I can't wait for the next video every time you upload.

[@DEM0NICUS]

This is mostly right. Only disagreements here are... 1) Women subconsciously make things more difficult for you when the detect you are changing in the right ways because they want to know they can actually trust that your changes are genuine and not just manipulation 2) "Rewarding the lever pulling" is really any response that isn't coming from a legitimate place of compassion. Getting angry and loud or getting stoic and turning inward are BOTH the wrong answer. Stoicism doesn't work in the long term 3) The reason for these lever pulling outbursts is because you aren't actually listening or showing that you are truly listening and understanding what your woman is saying and needs your help with. She may scream because she feels that you can't hear or won't listen to her otherwise 4) You're allowed to mess up and get an angry response from your woman even after you've healed together. In fact, this should be a welcomed challenge that can show your partner that you won't be scared away because you're tough and you truly care about her. She'll love you even more, so don't panic if you have a rough day...just do the right stuff and remain compassionate and caring. The best part about this video is that it does get worse before it gets better. Knowing that means you're on the right track. Just be sure you aren't looking at your woman like a rat, and truly listen to her regardless of the outbursts, and you will grow closer again and more peaceful.

[@anacap007]

The extinction burst is a lot like the first stage of grief.

[@irisgarcia3630]

Great video! Thanks for making this so clear.

[@dzzzzzt]

A powerful insight into this phenomenon. The last part hit hard though. You have to weigh the benefits of your changing your own behavior because you can never let up and staying in the relationship. If you are caring and compassionate but you have not to be in order to stop rewarding a bad behavior, then you have to continue to not be caring and compassionate. If do you want to retain that part of yourself, then it's beat to leave the relationship and find one where your qualities will be appreciated, not abused.

[@jbr84tx]

It depends on what is your definition of 'caring and compassionate' is. It doesn't always mean giving someone what they want.

[@dzzzzzt]

@@jbr84txYes, you are right. On reflecting on what I wrote I realize that there are a few issues conflated into one, so I might delete that comment as it doesn't 100% pertain to the video. What I wanted to say is that sometimes in order to stop rewarding a behavior you have to change your behavior and do that permanently. What if your behavior is actually a trait that you like about yourself?

[@jbr84tx]

@@dzzzzzt I'd say you ought to avoid people who are offended by or don't appreciate those traits.

[@goldilocks913]

I appreciated your comment, and it made me think about how it applies to me, so please don’t delete it. I thought it was very on point to this video 👍

[@lindadiniso3674]

This is wonderful man thanks.

[@FlowerlyF.]

Perfect timing! Please more on behavioral topics😊

[@kitsura]

Thank you for sharing. It is always darkest before the dawn.

[@jimdandy8996]

Excellent episode as usual.

[@caiolopes4680]

damn orion it's a piece of art each video that you make (the way you convey the information) no words..

[@JavierSanchez-mo2ef]

Great message, I have lived through this a lot

[@JuanJoseSoto-un9nd]

Thank you once again for sharing your valuable insights. It's always a pleasure to listen to your talks.

[@TheScratcherCartel]

Excellent Talk! Thing about this talk, is applies to So Many Subjects.

[@malcolmnex9297]

Doctor T. thank you so much for explaining this dynamic. Malcolm from Oakland

[@Almaz-hy6bt]

The best advice!

[@firetown3346]

Thank You I've been learning so much from your videos. It's never too late to make positive changes. J Keep the info coming.

[@BryanBloom]

You are a genius, thank you for this content

[@richardbro999]

Great content and much appreciated! The only thin I don't like about this channel (snicker) is looking through your window and seeing all that nice greenery while I've got 5 inches of snow in my backyard.

[@bettywhite2694]

Phenomenal video, wish i had heard it when i was 18

[@ronjaenisch4613]

Thanks!............lots of details and specifics .............horray

[@davidwallace9944]

I can see this clearly in myself and in relationships I have had. I’ve also can understand others a bit better.

[@brandonantone1]

Loved the "extinction birth" acting doctor! Great insight as always!

[@DanielClementYoga]

Great advice for those of us who forget.

[@DuncanBuilds]

dude this is so good.

[@adurb]

Excellent content! I wonder though why you haven’t mentioned the power of intermittent reinforcement in this context?

[@KCG7]

Great video!

[@mariolamalasinski1819]

I would also add that Emotionally Focused couples therapy also attacks this dynamic, or cycle as we call it, with really great results. Through positive reinforcement, and going into emotion and vulnerability, we target the problem behavior and help people to practice. It generalizes to home in a high percentage of cases! And the results last, coz we restructure schemas and core beliefs along the way...change the attachment...regulate the nervous system...and voila!

[@nunyabidness69]

I tried to get my now ex-wife's complaining to stop by ignoring it. I consistently ignored it for years, but it didn't go away. I ended up leaving her. That made it go away.

[@theautodidacted]

Word is bond. This is truth. Great video. To enjoy the benefits of change we must have the guts to properly endure the process of it. Ever notice that a fire you're trying to blow out tends to fight back with all its might before it finally goes out?

[@tovarisch3039]

word is bond

[@wanna_be_racer]

Wow I think my phone was listening to me talking last night during a phone conversation as this video popped up. I definitely unintentionally rewarded my ex wife when I was married by allowing her to drink. Kinda hard to stop an alcoholic with addiction. In reality there was nothing I could do to help her with her addiction which I finally had to accept through therapy. Great video and at least I’m more aware of myself and others habits.

[@jdsmith02115]

All absolutely true!!

[@jessemiller3108]

No interest in saving a relationship, but I had to check this video out, anyway. Always learning something interesting here, and that rat metaphor was right on. Keep up the good content, sir!

[@inaki.realtor]

This is gold

[@hellmanksingh7967]

Thanks

[@hklinker]

I recognise that I’ve been in a number of codependent relationships. Altering the dynamics of those is what this talk is about. It does occur to me that I have to be absolutely consistent in establishing new dynamics. From what I can see so far, it seems I have to stop encouraging the kinds of behaviours that create codependency. Basically, I have to stop playing my role in these codependent relationships. I started a while ago, and I can see it does work.

[@ConservativeSatanist666]

You and Dr. K are my favorite phycology information sources 🤓

[@ConservativeSatanist666]

This reminds me of quitting cigarettes. I smoked cigarettes for 16 years and I quit 2 years ago. One time I lit up a cigarette about a year ago and I craved cigarettes for a week! I never touched it afterwards that one cigarette but that was a harsh reminder of exactly what you're talking about. Don't ever pick up a habit that you put trouble to quit your body will want to pick it up as if nothing happened.

[@Altair-El-Haddad]

Dr.K bursts into tears for no reason.

[@samphelps856]

Brilliance

[@b4ph0m3tdk9]

"WHERE'S MY FOOD PALLETS!!!". So funny, and easy to follow.

[@realman1349]

The problem I’ve found about checking behavior is even if it is externally effective, it doesn’t change one’s character and they will just take more efforts to conceal it and be more sneaky about whatever it is.

[@Alexxx492]

Dr. Orion you have the most beautiful eyes 😅❤

[@Bibbo8844hdbks]

Great

[@charlescarte3337]

Massively applies to Semen Retention and other sexual addiction. I have many hot exes and now that I'm practicing SR, it makes it even more challenging. Just one time can ruin your run in any addiction for sure! Thanks for this awesome upgrade Orion. 👊

[@flemutter7211]

Common Dr Taraban do one on toxic families and the scape goat.

[@TurnOntheBrightLights.]

4:17 Give him the Oscar!! 🏆👏👏👏

[@user-id3rx4qx1k]

I quit drinking and cigarettes just after Christmas 2017…haven’t touched either since. 2018 was a hard year. 2019 was better. Despite the craziness of 2020 it was a good year for me. 2021 was even better! The last 2 years have been pretty calm and my whole life is way different now. I would never go back to my old ways but life is not actually better now. I am just “healthier”?

[@justtekina6709]

Patrice ol Neal said this as well, in a different manner, he also said like women are trained by their previous man. And often you need to untrained her or train her. Hmm I think I got a good understanding of everything just need to start implementing and changing things in my life. But idk how to justify my wants or what I say I will do, I think I'm just going resort to lying, I actually see it as weak to argue with a woman. Because you are giving her a handicap in a verbal battle that should or would have gone physical if she was a man. And I just realized I'm stronger than a woman, like well like stronger than my mom. And I think you are right about women "I feel" and "Now" because I been disconnected with family because I feel like I do a lot for them I know I do, I do everything asked of me and give money to them when asked and so on And like I really am so stupid. I actually i can't believe how much money I gave to my mom and family, I'm unmotivated to work because It's like a trap. Like them wanting em to get a good job is not them caring about me but my ability to care for them financially because they know I don't say no. And I think nice guy get punish for being nice and boring because a woman emotionally does not care about flowers or the thought Maybe just for a brief instance then no more. You don't get a woman full attachment to you that way. She will make your wait and out you the friendzone

[@snowmanarc]

Exactly 💯

[@gsmith81]

❤😂❤❤😂Thank you sir, You have made my day!

[@matthewsalmon2013]

So setting boundaries is exactly like addiction recovery detox. It's almost like AA was really onto something.

[@1iziahvitoni]

He’s actually a funny guy

[@dsc1970]

Dr. Taraban goes all death metal at 4:14 and 9:00 Great point though -- don't validate and reward the bad behavior.

[@bofillot]

I'm not sure if it applies on the principle explained, but right know (today) I'm creating a rutine of commenting EVERY video I watch, so I quit watching videos mindlessly, please like (or comment) this comment so I keep geeting some random reminders. Thanks a lot❤

[@bananaboat247]

Nice “behavioral psychology“ segue. “Stop mindlessly watching KZbin videos“ is on my extinction list, too.

[@georgeelder8415]

Crisis always occurs at the curve of change...

[@davidduran2984]

Not relapsing is indeed the hardest part.

[@enumaelish9193]

Extinction Burst is the coolest name for an attack I've ever heard.

[@le0nida525]

Reinforcement. Got it. What about punishing? Maybe then ignore?

[@RLDrums7]

I saw this in my business. My business ran well up until about 2016 then it just crashed. I tried everything I could think of to get it back. Then for a few years I would have a client call me with just enough business to make me think things were back to normal. Nope.

[@giovannipastore5707]

It would be interesting to reflect on how the world of work, perhaps today more than ever, is based on the little rat experiment. And this regardless of the fact that obviously we all tend, at least in origin, to do what we are most passionate about...

[@zoltanfabian5695]

Any advice on how can we know if this process is worth it or not? My guess is that its only worth do it for someone we can't get rid of, for example our children.

[@RecreationalUseOnly]

I did this with an ex, then found out she had Borderline Personality Disorder. She ruined my life for it. These women are my name.

[@georgesontag2192]

This guy has real practical knowledge. I wish he was available in 1985.

[@shpalman7]

And the other takeaway from this is that if you realize that something you want is slipping away from you, let it go rather than engaging in an extinction burst to try to hold onto it, which will only drive it away faster?

[@andrewmoles6995]

What happens if you can find a sufficient punishment for the behavior instead of just removing the reward? If pulling the lever creates a negative experience on every pull does the extinction burst behavior or time line change? Asking for a friend

[@worldsyoursent.1635]

🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

[@wolffenhaus]

Get your World Changing knowledge right here.

[@paparadeliko]

Stop uploading sych relatable content at such relatable times

[@kristijan8518]

My life never gets better. It only gets worse and worse. Gym, university degree, job, grooming, style... Have all been futile. Nothing has changed in my life, my personality is still extremely bland and boring. I don't know what levers to press anymore, I don't know which ones to stop pressing.. I'm hopeless.

[@kristijan8518]

@@Finnhungambar most of the things you mentioned work only in developed countries. I'm from a very poor East European country and the culture is completely different. Adult classes don't exist outside of languages (people are learning them so they can live in other country). Also there's literally nothing I'm interested in, or that I care about.

[@mbg9650]

Is family court rewarding divorce?

[@roger_isaksson]

Old habits die hard, that is for sure. 😅

[@maverick.gp96]

It was difficult to understand when do we reward the behaviour that we want to stop. Could you give examples?

[@bluebay0]

Watch from 7:59 In the context of relationships you may be enabling your partner's bad behavior by reinforcing it.

[@pmaitrasm]

Life is like a wave, with crests and troughs, isn’t it?

[@Mastermind111111]

Who does the art for your thumbnails? If he's looking for more work I may hire him

[@reallue]

I think I understand except if it were foregoing attention, & time w/ yur partner? How can u withhold something like that completely & still keep tht relationship?

[@dwsel]

Totally sounds like an addiction