Rollplay One-Shots: DIE-KEA 3 (Part 1)

[@2j-light]

I've never laughed harder at a pre-show. I'm crying, god damn that was so good. Jesse being a dick. Aureylian being confused. Sam was the highlight with his harsh realizations such as "after three months of hard work I was just below average" and "he could of held up an arm and flexed but he said have you seen my tweets". All the while Dodger trying her best to make light of the situation as Crendor sat upon his ever rising throne of shit. Crendor you truly are the best.

[@tomaszskowronski1406]

Crendor is a success story. If he can go from Grandma to Buffdor then maybe we can too. At least i'm trying.

[@jesperjohansson6959]

It's always great to have Strippin, Doogs, Cox, and Crendor together in ANYTHING. They have such great chemistry! Erin was superb in this as well, I loved all of it.

[@Chas-OTE]

How?! HOW does Sam always gets such great combinations for the absolute *worst* mutations?! 3 Die-KEA's in a row and Sam's character creation always kills me 🤣🤣🤣 PS: Jesse getting a skinwalker mutation is perfect.

[@lora5030]

I don't know what kills me more, Sam's character creation or Dodger's. I feel like the combination of the two is just perfect comedy every time.

[@Micaelangel07]

Sam: Kleptomaniac asymptomatic tumour spreader with weird ears and a float sack that doesn't work well. Aureylian: Stomach mouthed regenerating healer with extra magic resistance. Jesse: An aquatic Skinwalker with a very loud heartbeat and alien mouth. Extra ability SPOILER Dodger: Chameleon skinned twin splitting psychic negating field weather station.

[@justafox5356]

I’d literally kill to hear a massive body builder behemoth to brag about his Herculean gains by saying “Bro have you seen my tweets?!”

[@barnabasverti9690]

I believe you meant to say "perineal gains"

[@Visitant69]

This show is basically a master class of how important player buy in is. You can do whatever you want and as long as the players are doing their best to play along it'll be fun.

[@toxic_cowZ]

i...i never thought i'd see this day...i'm so god damn happy potentially my favorite rollplay series making a great return...i might cry.

[@passdoutcouchpotatos]

The first 12 minutes was pure insanity and they havent even started rping

[@Never_heart]

At this point I am positive every Die-Kea episode is actually a warp in space time where all reality bends to the whims of Crendor's mind. Then like a hole in existence that leads to realm of the Shub-Niggorath all who look upon it are ripped into their own unique timeline until they converge and as long as you do not compare stories you have no idea that none of your experiences match up.

[@ScaryClownProduction]

Die-Kea is just Crendor getting to flex his story telling skills. Granted, those skills are similar to his hero David Lynch, and he's has audience participation, but it's always a fun trip

[@mareksicinski3726]

i mean are you implying those skills are at a low level?

[@ScaryClownProduction]

@@mareksicinski3726 no. Just still with in the realm of mortals

[@bagrym]

7:52 the moment Aureylian realized the magnitude of her error in starring on this show

[@CrowColdblade]

Crendor is by far the best GM, because he doesnt let small things like rules stop him.

[@emergencycode53]

"That's your quote to start Die-kea 3: Buffdor Edition!?" This was worth the wait. 33:10 thought someone brought out a literal stringed instrument, but it was just Sam laughing, I think

[@xeonicus1]

Nooooo, I missed the live show! Well, at least there is this gem. Thank the gods!

[@herhilainen7]

Thank you for making it happen, these are incredibly fun and IMO a nice change of pace to the more professional shows on the channel!

[@netmediocre]

This is peak entertainment, I almost died wheezing at "strange ears"

[@manemanera]

8 minutes in, I'm already crying from laughing, poor Aureylian XD

[@Never_heart]

I love how they all agree at once that yes she was asked because JP couldn't do this hot mess again

[@manemanera]

@@Never_heart you think it was Aruliyan or someone else who wrote Help Me?

[@wyattwade129]

This is the greatest roll play series on the internet. Change my mind.

[@Chas-OTE]

Oh God! It's really happening!

[@JakeRayTM]

YESSSSSS! Non-content!

[@julatsa]

The pre-show is so freakin funny. Sam and Jesse are such sarcastic buggers lol

[@BakerGlare]

So, I just re-watched the original Die-KEA and Die-KEA2 the other day and now I find this...? AMAZNG!

[@We1mann]

Yo, I've not been into Rollplay for a bit, but this shit snapped me RIGHT back.

[@tomaszskowronski1406]

AWHATNOW? Welp. Looks like my plans for this night changed to getting wasted, watching DIE-KEA and laughing my ass now.

[@SkywardSpork]

I love everyone laughing at the IKEA being turned into a gym, it is funny but I think one of the gangs in Cyberpunk 2077 converted a whole mall into a gym and they're all just giant buff gangsters

[@patu8010]

These always surprise me with how entertaining they are. I'm laughing my ass off

[@Vernaleer]

I was laughing 2 hours straight. Thank you! Now my face hurts 😂🤣.

[@rip4324]

I've never clicked on a vid faster

[@CosmicWaffle26]

Right my thumb almost fell off 😂

[@Nillavile]

Anyone else watching this after March 9th 2020? Rip RollPlay we will miss you

[@BacadoTheSkoggy]

Adoring aureylian’s addition to the show

[@tomaszskowronski1406]

Sam's mutation rolls are the best part of Die-kea's. At this point its so bad that its legendary

[@joaogomes9405]

I like how crendor describes a mouth as a orifice capable of consuming and regurgitating food, yet any time a character does anything he describes it as "so they go blrlvlrblr"

[@toshizue8627]

Dodger has always been so lucky with these mutations. Aurelyian got lucky too. Sam just has terrible luck. XD

[@rhunmahariel7877]

The "Strange Ears" fucking killed me lmfao

[@MacCoy]

WAIT, there was a DIE-KEA 2? oh man.

[@Never_heart]

Go go. You must see that dark twisted and beautiful piece of art

[@kingbranden1369]

You know I had completely forgotten about that time Playboy tried to go non-nude and Dodger did a photoshoot. Weird way to remember.

[@Never_heart]

Wait that's what her pic is from?

[@kingbranden1369]

@@Never_heart Exactly what I said. A playboy photoshoot from back when they tried to go non nude for a while. Very easy to google.

[@TribunusLaticlavus]

@@Never_heart The original gallery that I had bookmarked seems to lead nowhere anymore. But a subset of the pictures is in this imgur album: imgur.com/a/CncSE

[@Never_heart]

@@TribunusLaticlavus Oh wow those came out really good. Why do I have a feeling she asked for the pizza aesthetic

[@TribunusLaticlavus]

​@@Never_heart Correct, when she talked about that photoshoot that was her suggestion when they approached her. As to how much that pizza theme was implemented? Probably a collaboration.

[@DJchestr]

after checking twitter I'm so HYPED to watch this

[@UTubeLurker01]

1:08:00 I lost it over those mutation rolls! X,D

[@SyberiaWinx]

I mean, we all go to IKEA knowing the high risk of death, so the name change really wasn’t necessary.

[@MrTommylicious]

"the day you start lifting is the day you become forever small, cause you will never be as big as your pump" Dom Mazzetti, Brosciencelife

[@mkahvi]

King from One Punch Man had the heartbeat power.

[@DragynGirl]

JP writes "Help me" only to later find out he married a mouth wizard. JP, I believe you found your help! Sam gets ANOTHER ear mutation?? Didn't he have super long ears as a mutation in one of the other Die-Kea's? Poor Sam and his ears... "Machine" "Yoga" "Deer" ... I love how NO ONE notices how JP labels the bikes "Deer" Jesse's reaction to the straw... omg priceless!

[@MrTommylicious]

This is so effing great. I love this

[@christinestevenson4482]

"He's a talking horse, he can do whatever he wants." Clyde: "I wanna STEAL"

[@wexaztor9394]

Oh my, DIE-KEA 3? time to come back for a bit.

[@Echelon0419]

Looking forward to part 2

[@cliqboom1088]

I would like, for an hour or so, to live in the disconnected and oblivious world of Crendor

[@blairbird8022]

Crendor has plant muscles confirmed.

[@tomaszskowronski1406]

24:12 Of course, of course 25:15 Oh Jesse, that's nasty. Keep going.

[@BacadoTheSkoggy]

If crendor started selling his body would we call him hodor

[@EIixir]

This is so crazy, I love it!

[@storyteller6399]

ah the fever dream continues hahaha ^-^

[@AExorcist]

Jesse's Kiki sounds like Lil Jon. The OK made me think shots

[@bakuninkropotkin8185]

The legend continues.

[@hawkarm6604]

Yeaaaaaaa!! this is more exiting than that falcon-X, deal!

[@FiendishCrow]

Oh hell yeah this is gonna be great!

[@paulmaloney585]

The first 10 minutes have left me tripping balls

[@Waddle1111]

I love you all for doing this!

[@LadyDementra]

The beginning of this was the funniest shit my god

[@andromidius]

I almost died from choking.

[@Bysentenial]

Crendor, watch an animu called How Heavy Are The Dumbbells You Lift? I just finished it and it was great. Hibiki is best girl.

[@katnerd6712]

Aureylian has now been Crendored...I believe this must have been a requirement in order to successfully marry JP.

[@hologrms]

Kiki prays to the many faced god...

[@normansoccerref]

Never clicked on something so fast

[@MythosGRsenpai]

the best non content

[@BaiDobchan]

Best ending ever :D

[@mizerablegit4720]

*DIE-KEA* "Shop til you drop!"

[@amerillatta4848]

die-kea is great its like dnd but as a podcast where you dont have to be entirely tuned in all of the time.

[@DerOger]

nice! :-)

[@angcru69]

Clip clop 🐴

[@VladTheRad]

HI-LA-RI-EFFIN-OUS!!!!!! 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂

[@Toble0071]

When is part 2 going up?

[@grushpea5365]

Where can i get my hands on that 1000 mutation list?

[@mark1knudsen]

archive.org/details/the_metamorphica/mode/2up

[@EurekaBe]

My wife looks at the screen over my shoulder : "Die-Kea? - Don't ask and I won't have to tell"

[@ejsese]

yessss i've waited so long

[@christinestevenson4482]

I'm so sad there's no camera for dooger :(

[@stevenbeagle7040]

Savage burns

[@tobegox1272]

I am Crendor as a DM lol.

[@Elneco1]

Great corruption of champions but ikea part 3!

[@tateblue8222]

1:59:56 *meatwad intensifies*

[@shanecarey9554]

Dodger's picture is unsettling to me for some reason...

[@stevenbeagle7040]

God I've missed that opening music I've had nothing new to watch in so long

[@badd2049]

YYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSS

[@seekyunbounded9273]

what the heck is the dodger picture about, what is the story

[@grimwolf9988]

Jesse: "I have a blowhole." Aureylian: "Wow, me too!" JP: Winks

[@JaziB]

Ohhhhhh baby

[@EbonxGaming]

this is the funniest shit lmao

[@nirobu]

any particular reason dodger is using a photoshopped image of her playboy photoshoot instead of a camera?

[@nameofchannel7648]

there was a die-kea 2?

[@Critchovic]

Finally

[@Benjiman20]

i think you should all play snowrunner you all look like truckers

[@Disconnectmyself]

I really like Doddger, watched Co-optional for years, but damn, she always creates the most annoying characters. I have flashbacks to the Mirror-shades episodes. I was unable to finish more then few episodes because of her "shaman" elf character. :D

[@mareksicinski3726]

13:06 that is not really too related, it is stupid tho

[@mareksicinski3726]

this is way overcomplicare everything its like somoen doesnt want to be a burden

[@joaogomes9405]

I like how crendor describes a mouth as a orifice capable of consuming and regurgitating food, yet any time a character does anything he describes it as "so they go blrlvlrblr"