RollPlay One Shots: Die-Kea - Part 1

[@bismuthcrystal9658]

Increased empathy, eh? So honey badger DO give a fuck.

[@MasterLagoz]

No, Jesse had to have a fucking mutation to get Empathy...

[@Killersquirrel66]

I mean, it said "more empathetic than the rest of your species". That doesn't necessarily mean much when your species is a honey badger. XD

[@Hrothga]

Growing up in Älmhult, Sweden (Where the first IKEA, now turned into a museum) is located, never once did I imagine I'd watch 5 people pretend to be in a post-apocalyptic version of that one IKEA. I'm still waiting for Crendor to do his pilgrimage

[@Azetchki]

I like to believe that all the game took place In the mind of Jp, who became crazy after The nuclear fallout and is filming with a phone that has been dead for four years.

[@mysss29]

oh my god that's perfect xD

[@Never_heart]

I choose to belief that he even hears Crendor narrate in his head.

[@glenrkat]

Someday I want a Rollplay that is "Rollplay: Winnie the Pooh". Jesse plays Pooh, Dodger plays Piglet, Strippin is Tigger and Crendor, of course, plays Eeyore. Christopher Robin is the GM. Get on this JP :P

[@kinosaga21]

why is this not a thing???

[@Metalbirne]

You have my money. Don't care if you kickstart this thing or what. IT HAS TO HAPPEN!

[@georgec7027]

Oh my god please do this. It would be the funniest thing in the fucking world.

[@winterfire567]

This entire scenario is just Crendor in a nutshell and I fucking love it.

[@staticsight]

I love how this game just starts with the crendor validation chamber

[@Yenastuundepaspris55]

*Strippin* as 'The Swedish aquatic bear'. *Jesse* as 'The Oprah-Badger'. *Dodger* as 'Naruto... but a cat !'. Also starring... *That one other normal guy* as 'Himself'.

[@jessica1228100]

Every couple of years i come back and rewatch this, i need another diekea campaign

[@TheGwardian]

Crendor's complete apathy is incredible.

[@esaedvik]

Crendor really is the anti-salt. Totally OP.

[@bismuthcrystal9658]

Is anyone else really convinced Crendor is an early-model android that has not yet perfected human emotion?

[@sirdigsalo1]

Crendor, become human

[@ryanlorenzo5003]

Crendor was a prototype model that escaped from the factory that makes those Zuckerberg lizards.

[@Griefor5]

I heard Dodger's voice and I already knew this was going to be a great session. And then Jesse opened his mouth and it went another level up.

[@karoscgot]

As a swede, the names are almost unbarebly funny!

[@123mickymouse123]

Okända- Unknown: as in "Unknown people" Härliga- Delightful : as in "Delightful people" Gröndal- Green valley (Literal translation.) Skogsklöver- Clover of the woods (literal translation) or zigzag clover (the English name for it) Ängslilja- Lily of the Meadow (literal translation). Note that most of these are inexact due to being literal, not proper, translations. Therefor the ones marked as "Literal translation" are most likely wrong.

[@Xippih]

Skogsklöver - Trifolium medium, a sort of plant. Okända - Unknown (Direct translation) Gröndal - Green Valley (A place in Sweden) Ängslilja -A type of Lily as well as the name of duvet and pillow cases in IKEA. Härliga - An expression usually sued to describe something being "nice!.

[@zhraia]

Jessy - Okända=Unknown (Yes, the word means "Unknown") Strippin - Ängslilja=Meadow lily (No English word, but it's a flower. Also Björn/Bjorn=Bear) JP - Härliga=Lovely/Nice Dex - Skogsklöver=Forest Clover (No English word, but is also a flower/weed, we got the flower duo) Cren - Gröndal=A location (Direct translation = Green Dale/valley)

[@kataang203]

Actually Jesse's word above him is 'Ökända' which translates into 'notorious'

[@zhraia]

I was like "you're wrong for reasons" but then I saw that the name changed from okända to ökända when they changed layout.

[@codofwisdom]

When I saw the name of this, I thought "It would be criminal if Crendor wasn't involved." Not only is he involved, he's in charge.

[@tomaszskowronski1406]

who else could come up with this idea?

[@brutalbrute4664]

the roleplay i never knew i wanted

[@Chas-OTE]

I keep coming back to this every now and then. 3 years later and it's still the funniest RPG I've ever had the pleasure of watching.

[@Chaindustries]

This type of campaign is what seasoned players in my hood call "Lolplaying"

[@enternamehere2222]

Eh oneshots are made for that sort of thing. Since you only really get 3-5 hours for the whole "campaign"

[@Pacifistrapist]

You make it sound like the comment was meant to complain. One shots can be serious and great too.

[@Chaindustries]

Oh it wasn't meant as a complaint. sorry if that appeared to be the message because you can't hear the way I'm saying it. I'll add a winky-face next time.

[@Pacifistrapist]

Warlord_Pipsqueak nah I meant the one who replied to you

[@markotark]

WOW, the honey badger does care!!! Best result possible to have an empathy for Jesse...

[@laurenhawes7201]

markotark I didn't think of that

[@5chr4pn3ll]

Started this video thinking that this will be terrible. 10 minutes in: "...This is amazing"

[@megaorzi]

There is a spelling error in the title. It says "One Shots", but it supposed to say "Week 1".

[@Never_heart]

We finally got episode 3!

[@LichyNyx]

This game made me realize....Crendor is just too good at playing old people and goblins.

[@JasmineSummer]

JP trolling everyone who complains about him just playing himself is A+

[@SuperJimBobJoe]

It's basically JP in a post-apocalyptic muppets movie

[@TheMorbidHobo]

A human, an amphibius far-sighted bear, an empathetic honey badger, and a cat that can summon demons and multiply herself. This is going to be great.

[@DeathBringer769]

Don't forget that empathetic honey badger has drab colored eyes as one of his special mutations too, lol.

[@helpinghand97VT]

I only came to give a like because I already watched all of this and can say this is one of the best shows ever.

[@ItsAnotherDanny]

Dodger's face when she learns what her first mutation does is priceless.

[@Italky]

Hopefully there's more of these because this is gold.

[@Squishydew]

Lmao, i had no idea crendor was even on here, but i saw rollplay die-kea, and just said crendor to myself instantly.

[@wayouttherestranger]

The most glorious of shitshows

[@EbonRogue]

When I saw the title my first thought was "Crendor did this. There is no other explanation." I knew it.

[@hyped8313]

Sees title and assumed crendor had a influence here

[@manemanera]

Crendor needs to do another Die-Kea, we're all stuck inside right now anyway, what else do we gotta do?

[@Never_heart]

It happened!

[@manemanera]

@@Never_heart and I watched it! 😁

[@lizardrancher]

this is where we realized skagzag was a mercy

[@0PrinceDusk0]

Whiskers: *definitely gets mutations a cat would have* Wildcard: *set up to be insane, mutations are plain and nothing like wildcard was set up for* Bjorn: *He is what he is* Wildcard got the short stick I think, but it's funny

[@Looch1717]

O...MG. When PRINCESS WHISKERS started talking I lost it.

[@darkursur]

Looks like they're playing Mutant Future, for anyone interested.

[@MeonLights]

"You have increased empathy" Honeybadger DOES care!

[@TheMorbidHobo]

This is the only show I've enjoyed since West Marches left. I am happy I didn't unsub.

[@PVDSHOI]

I instantly want more of this. Love the cast and Crendor's insane mind is where I wanna curl up and die... -kea.

[@Wiseteria]

I watched the whole thing live and I'm back for the greatness that is this show.

[@DyvimZard]

Yup, this is as weird as I had hoped. Keep it coming!

[@We1mann]

"It was World War 3. After the Trump presidency." Everyone just nods in agreement.

[@TheClayHarrison]

funny considering Hillary was already instigating war with Russia without even being elected

[@ToastieMcStrudel]

Clay Harrison butthurt Trumplet detected

[@TheClayHarrison]

what reason would i have to be butthurt? my side won. you're the one degenerating to insulting me instead of trying to actually argue like a fool

[@B4byl0ni4]

Youre buthurt because you immediately flew to his defense. Dont elect a clown and expect the crowd not to laugh...

[@TheClayHarrison]

i didn't fly to anyone's defense. its an outlandish and baseless assertion that trump would lead us to a world war when all evidence points to the exact contrary- that hillary would have led us to war with russia which would very likely have caused a real world war. you people are so politically unconscious and devoid of any ability to think logically for yourselves that you will spit in the face of anyone who disagrees with you even if you're clearly in the wrong. you're just making yourself look like a clown

[@AhNoWiC]

JP is playing himself and his mental stats are 6 Int, 10 Will, and 8 Charisma. I feel like hes shortselling himself.

[@metalheaddrummer101]

It took me until about 30 mins into this game to realize that Dodger is basically playing Meepo.

[@SkywardSpork]

Andrew Pryde Meepo/Enigma combo, she can have her own army

[@metalheaddrummer101]

dear gods. No one should have all that power.

[@CyberViking97]

honeybadger actually cares alot appearantly.

[@DrFatihD]

"Congratulations, you've played yourself." -JP

[@riverbirch2503]

Die-kea... I couldn't imagine who would ever do such a thing. I thought Steven, cause he did the Maid RPG stuff, but I havent seen him in ever. Adam? He... I dont know. The others I dont remember? Hell no. Dodger? didnt even think of her. WHO ELSE WHO ELSE BUT FUCKING CRENDOR.

[@tomaszskowronski1406]

well. there's only one Crendor just as there's only one sun on our sky. And so like sun, he keeps to bright our days. (Yes, i know that sun is just another star, but this was way too poetic to pass)

[@Mahons]

Well Sam came up with the idea back in 2015 at Coxcon where he pictured an idea of there being a post-apocalyptic world with an Ikea and Crendor had trapped the Ikea Home Alone style except people die. (It is in "CoxCon 2015 - Sam and Crendor.... the panel?" at 21:10)

[@RDR911]

River Birch JP fired Steven a long time ago... creative differences, and JP didn't want to pay 2 DMs, I believe.

[@stormgrad]

Does A Bear Shit in the woods, Bjorn Does

[@itskoile1985]

Meta-JP - I can´t even... I just picture JP is gone insane and has broken a camera and talks to his "audience"

[@TheStupidrule]

Yes. All of this is what I want and need. I'm so glad Crendor was there for the Ikea special :)

[@Fartuess]

"Crendor is Barrack Obama of Twitch" Wait... Does it mean that Barrack Obama is a Crendor of White House? Holy crap.

[@tomaszskowronski1406]

How the hell did we survived that?

[@Wbrism]

Don't usually watch these shows but something tells me I have to make an exception for this one.

[@Moon-Raven]

"all right, so, I mean, when it all comes down to it, I make the rules..." -Crendor 2017

[@JCGver]

Dodger the demon summoning, cloning ranger cat. Jesse the brown eyed empathic... I think Cren didn't balance it very well

[@DeathBringer769]

When you randomly roll mutations like that there isn't much choice you can take to "balance" it, lol... This was a one-shot done for fun anyway. These types of things just made it funnier. They might have been annoying in a more "serious" campaign but for these circumstances it was totally fine.

[@TheRedAzuki]

He didn't make the mutants effects.

[@Zakiel97]

I mean you could balance it if you used a more diverse system, for example have one ability-table to roll actually useful mutations and one cosmetics-table to roll stuff like different eye colors or particularly thick mustaches. But Deathbrewer is right, it's not a serious campaign, so who cares?

[@room007]

15min in , this is already the best thing ever

[@AsheCraftingCorner]

I just learned that Die Kea was a thing..Now I must watch these two

[@showi1267]

This is just as wtf, entertaining, and hilariously wierd as an Rick & Morty episode plot. And I love it.

[@madisonbowers8812]

I've been waiting for this since Crendor mentioned it on the Co-Optional podcast!!!

[@Alarnia0]

also i like how wildcard is basically the leader of teen girl squad

[@DeathBringer769]

MSG'D!

[@BlockMechanics]

Honestly, this sounds like an episode of The Adventure Time. I love it.

[@minervaalexia6074]

Poor ladybug. Also, Princess Whiskers is the best

[@Yenastuundepaspris55]

There's something oddly hypnotic with Crendor's voice. He sounds like a very old creaking door being opened continuously.

[@Barbyng]

it takes two took notes from crendor for the elephant scene 35:25

[@Chatedh]

THEY ARE USING THAC0!!!! OMG THIS IS THE BEST SHIT EVER!!!

[@darthjawafett]

"That bitch stole our knife." Best Quote

[@vuzzbx-o-tainment8813]

Everytime jesse talks i can't stop imagining Teen Girls Squad being there...

[@Sith9890]

that jesse character intro finally watching this was a good choice

[@dragonling748]

I saw this and thought, OOO is Crendor running the show today? :D I'm so unbelievable happy!

[@tomaszskowronski1406]

26:35 Dodger is creating fucking Meeseeks

[@Valp85]

As someone who lives less than two hours away by car I can see it clearly in my mind's eye: The hallowed grounds of IKEA Älmhult, found in the deepest part of the irradiated forests of Småland, a land plagued by marauding bands riding A-Tractors and Speedway bikes, carnivorous spruce trees, and the usual cannibal woodland yokels you found there before the bombs fell.. Yup, I'm in. This is gonna be magical.

[@We1mann]

God damn Crendor is amazing.

[@lizard56]

The moment a youtuber roleplays themselfs you know you're in for a wild ride. The moment you add a blind aqua-bear, a honeybadger with weird eyes who cares and demon-summoning-ninja-cat-clooner-house-cat-ranger-mutant and a GM who doesn't even care in a post-apocalypse Ikea you know your in for some A-class shit.

[@LtSMASH324]

I'm glad JP decided to actually RP himself instead of just being himself.

[@missdeadite9696]

16 minutes in and jesse is basically Worf and Deanna's mutant love child. CAN'T WAIT TO SEE WHERE HE GOES WITH THIS.

[@soareleonard7570]

First time i see a rollplay. I might end up trying it

[@AuricansLair]

Way to use the Metamorphica! I just blogged about it a few weeks ago to get the word on that incredible resource. ☺

[@AamitMorthos]

God bless Crendor. I knew this was gonna be amazing when I heard he was DMing.

[@Never_heart]

JP rocked his human roll and without a doubt this is the pure bat shit crazy world I expect from Crendor.

[@Tabnito]

"I wonder if the other 9 have souls"

[@blacxthornE]

Dodger, you can multiply yourself and summon demons. Jesse, you are able to empathize with creatures and have brown eyes. Perfect.

[@bcatgamering]

Would love to see some of this animated!

[@DoxRyan]

This is just pure fun and it's great

[@xeonicus1]

I love that JP is roleplaying himself.

[@itssupermandoe2434]

I've been waiting for this since I heard about it I'm so excited

[@Eaglebrace]

Crendor is full of creativety and random stuff, This suits soo him!

[@kat_boss5520]

Dodger has the power to create Mr. Meesseeks LOL

[@WagerET]

Am I the only one who would absolutely watch Crendor do an unboxing video of an IKEA product?

[@lolKiriko]

I'm so happy this exists

[@trollsmonster9077]

died laughing no you can't catch him he's got like 30 dexterity

[@EelEyeDotCom]

That Princess Whiskers voice makes me feel things I'm embarrassed to admit.

[@Worgak]

Oh boy, Crendor's using the metamorphica.

[@Worgak]

It's not the one I've got tho... Is there a newer or diffrent version? My version is from 2012, so Metzger may have expanded on it.

[@Ancano]

So we've got Princess Whiskers the mutant demonologist cat cloner, Wildcard the mutant empathic, drab-eyed honey badger, Bjorn the farsighted aqua-bear, and JP.

[@NHH009]

This is awesome, I feel like any new dm should watch this to see how even a flawed game can be great. I wish my first game had gone half this well.

[@clumsyturtle8544]

Die-Kea 2 just announced GET HYPED FOR THE MEATBALLS !

[@pwnerofcupcakes]

is jesse going to dm a one off? , would really like to see what his would be

[@knight4light]

he would go full power crazy. deep with lore and all story bits.

[@KazeKoichi]

And he did an amazing one this Christmas.

[@creature9683]

It didn't take much to form an educated guess that crendor was going to run the show.

[@davidmurray3542]

Bjorn, what do your bear eyes see?

[@tomaszskowronski1406]

Who? What? Who said that? They dont see shit!

[@PKEin]

Ngl, Ikea is the ultimate railroading environment

[@Goatmaster-ek8rq]

Everything in this campagin wiggles or rumbles

[@117Haseo]

Someone needs to animated this in the art style of Adventure Time NOW