J.R.R. Tolkien FREAKS OUT over HOBBIT MILK - Graham Techler

Written and performed by Graham Techler

[@pitalovr]

“Pull one narrative thread, Jacob, and you might find yourself one elbow patch short of a tweed jacket, you cuck” is such a powerful line

[@aaerondight5163]

i wanna use that in real life atleast once.

[@Edgeworthscravat]

word is that god himself wrote it

[@Silverwind87]

Kinda sounds like something Tolkien would've written in a letter to C.S. Lewis or whatever.

[@264aub]

THEY 👏🏼 CAN 👏🏼 SMELL 👏🏼 THE 👏🏼 MILK👏🏼 JACOB 👏🏼THEY👏🏼 CAN 👏🏼SMELL 👏🏼 THE 👏🏼 MILK 👏🏼FROM 👏🏼 A 👏🏼 MILE 👏🏼 AWAY👏🏼 THAT’S👏🏼 THEIR 👏🏼 MAIN 👏🏼 POWER👏🏼

[@JayV688]

Sorry I just had to spoil your 666th Like

[@hey.meadow7290]

This sent me

[@MarcosSilva-kv9ej]

Those were some powerful claps

[@NotAMycologist]

I saw this comment being typed out on the canvas of my mind as he performed it.

[@moltyz6787]

I felt myself die a little when I read this

[@courtjester42069]

1. Made up languages 2. Metaphors for industrialism 3. EVERY RACE GOT DIFFERENT MILKS J A C O B

[@mintchew2757]

Fingers in his ass

[@globalincident694]

what about thinly veiled christianity?

[@peggedyourdad9560]

@@globalincident694 Thinly?

[@Lucifersfursona]

@@globalincident694 that’s what they replaced the milk with

[@OokamiKageGinGetsu]

@@globalincident694 By "christianity"[sic], I assume you mean Catholicism.

[@BE-ew2pt]

THEY CAN SMELL THE MILK, *JACOB*

[@solarprogeny6736]

THEY CAN SMELL HOBBIT MILK FROM A MILE AWAY, THAT'S THEIR *MAIN POWER*

[@Bokmoh]

EVERY RACE GOT DIFFERENT MILK JACOB!!

[@brennanperry8001]

This is way funnier if you've read the silmarillion, because it's almost said flat out that hobbits don't lactate, but feed their babies goat milk instead.

[@eb33]

so there iiissss a milk thing

[@fabiennevlcan-sparks7445]

All I'm hearing is that the editors wanted so badly to erase all mentions of hobbit milk that they even forced him to make it canon that they don't lactate at all

[@peterjohnson11655]

@@fabiennevlcan-sparks7445 lmao

[@fermintenava5911]

No, it doesn't 😊 Pretty sure, it doesn't. You're lying for the sake of a joke.

[@goblindude4242]

Aw man I thought his name was Jolkien Rolkien Rolkien Tolkien....

[@thebossbrenden1838]

Matt The Goblin don’t worry... it’s a mystery lost to the ages. So whatever you feel is right is, kiddo.

[@cosmic2591]

Robert is his first name

[@handfulmousefly]

Fun fact! In school, his friends called him JRRT, pronounced Jirt

[@dezs.5202]

I mean, if I learned anything from these books, it wouldn’t be surprising if those were his father and grandfather’s names

[@draxiss1577]

Holy heck I thought I was the only one! I've been trying to figure out where I got that version of his name from.

[@spencerhahn1635]

This is essentially how the original Star Wars movies were made.

[@whatzittooya9012]

"WHY DID YOU CUT THE BLUE MILK SCENES, PAUL?!"

[@BrokenCurtain]

"No George, we won't give Luke a robot head and his last name won't be Starkiller because that sounds stupid. And we won't show him walking around at his family's farm for the first ten minutes of the movie because that's boring - talk to Paul and Marsha about the editing, they have some great ideas for the opening scene and the battle. Also, Brian thinks the opening crawl is too long. And let Obi Wan explain what "The Force" is before Vader starts choking people with it."

[@MrEddie4679]

Took them 8 films before the sweet milk was introduced.

[@mendeleyev1790]

Eddie ågren blue milk was a thing in the original

[@MrEddie4679]

@@mendeleyev1790 oh, yeah just searched it, didnt even notice it till you pointed it out.

[@Overyourhead508]

Tolkien is so damn weird that for few minutes I wasn't sure if hobbit milk was a real thing... I'm still not sure

[@MrZAP17]

If you read the History of Middle-earth books you can see how clearly he was dedicated to the Milk Cycle, but over time it was eclipsed by other tings and ultimately cut almost entirely. The only remnant of the milk theme in the final works is when Numenor is drowned in a giant sea of milk.

[@MrZAP17]

@Gazz_TFP How dare you say The Silm isn't one of the mainstream books. You have affronted my sensibilities as a fan of the late professor, Sir!

[@TheAnalatheist]

Gazz_TFP The part where feanor milked all those teleri to death was really messed up

[@maxhydekyle2425]

He basically invented high fantasy so ya I wouldn't be shocked

[@meredithblack2195]

Why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why

[@DolusVulpes]

The funniest part about this is that this is exactly how pedantic Tolkien is. Just look up his criticisms of any adaptation of Legolas.

[@JP2GiannaT]

I bought a book of his letters...the ones about people trying to adapt his books into movies read about like this.

[@exilestudios9546]

@@JP2GiannaT he probably would have hated the Peter Jackson trilogy and we know his son did

[@rafaellucadetena9355]

@@exilestudios9546 funny thing that his grandson participated in the trilogy

[@link1117]

He died before any adaptions ever came out. You might mean his son

[@DolusVulpes]

@@link1117 before any film adaptations came out, yes. Before any adaptations at all were planned, no. Look up the scrapped Beatles Lord of the Rings movie.

[@fifirodriguez52]

The swerve from "The Song of Bomfom" to saying "I want to kill you" is so sudden and so smooth I don't know how he switched gears so quickly.

[@Lucifersfursona]

“You can kill whoever you want with 100% success but only if you’re able to successfully sing the full Song of Bomfom with dance”

[@agentwashingtub9167]

He lubricated the gears with skim hobbits milk

[@jadegreenleaf781]

@@agentwashingtub9167 no dude, did you not pay attention? the fat in hobbits milk is what gives it its slip, skimmed hobbits milk isnt good for lube at all!

[@ebonyblack8109]

No but this is just How Creatives Are😂, because I can recall conversations I've had that were like this (I've been on both sides of the conversation)

[@blackknightjack3850]

Not going to lie. I had to look up J.R.R Tolkien's name just to make sure it wasn't really "Jerry Randall Randall Tolkien".

[@glowmilk7948]

The concept for this sketch is absolutely buckwild and I can only dream of having my mind twist in just such a way

[@chrisshimizu308]

everything about this performance is so good. the concept the dialogue the acting, the punchlines hit so hard and graham took it 100% seriously. this is one of the best ones i've seen

[@99lodewijk]

Yeah, some of them bring an interesting concept but the concept is the joke so the scene feels drawn out, this one keeps getting new material out of the concept.

[@leonorf2730]

👏THEY👏CAN👏SMELL👏THE👏MILK👏JACOB!👏 THEY👏CAN👏SMELL👏THE👏HOBBIT👏MILK👏FROM👏A👏MILE👏AWAY👏THAT'S👏THEIR👏MAIN👏POWER!👏

[@radianttakanuva8388]

2% hobbit's milk implies the existence of skim, 1%, and whole hobbit's milk. this also implies that pasteurization processing for dairy products exists in Middle Earth.

[@axolofa]

"Jerry Randal Randal Tolkien"

[@rickarderlandsson5906]

Jolkien Rolkien Rolkien Tolkien

[@khylerbane4523]

The funny part is that this isn’t too far off from how Tolkien actually was in real life according to his editor. No wonder Tolkien never lived to see his work adapted, if this was how he was over the *books* just imagine how he would act over a show or film. No one would ever want to work with him.

[@highviewbarbell]

I mean, he would have been right though. The only kind of acceptable adaptation was peter Jackson's extended trilogy, but even that leaves out critical things, has characters reading lines that other characters had in the books, etc.

[@kolerocks1]

Why does this channel not have more attention I’m shaking with rage. My hobbit milk is curdling with frustration.

[@maddie9602]

In the past couple months since it came across my recommended, the subscriber count has doubled. It's getting there. OSP shot from a few thousand subscribers to over a million in maybe two years.

[@khicks8799]

ethreldur are you talking about overly sarcastic productions?

[@maddie9602]

@@khicks8799 yeah. Sorry, shouldn't have abbreviated when I didn't know for sure everyone would be familiar with it. But yeah, I remember people a while back discovering Overly Sarcastic Productions, thinking it was great, and being upset it wasn't getting more attention. Over time, it did. This channel, I think, is going the same way. A few people discover it, then a few more, then it balloons over a couple of years until it hits the big leagues.

[@khicks8799]

ethreldur I agree, I remember those early days as well

[@CharactersWelcome]

We had about 700 subscribers on December 1st!

[@samwisesamgee7380]

I am in the middle of doing research for my Tolkien-centered senior capstone paper; I came to find some music and this was on my home page so I'm pretending this still counts.

[@AndreNGropo]

It was a touching moment when Senor Nipples had to sacrifice for Lactaidriel in the Orc Milk. The simbolism for how they abuse imigrant labor was what defines Tolkien-esque.

[@AsitorCorporation]

Lactadriel. I love and hate you for that comment

[@keithklassen5320]

@@AsitorCorporation It's all there in the genealogies...

[@AndreNGropo]

@@AsitorCorporation Yep, it's all in the lore, I deserve no credit for using this beautifully written skit to get likes

[@danielzamora9886]

I feel like this was absolutely something he wrote in his notes high and when he came back later he was like, “fuck it, Hobbit’s milk”

[@NCRLouTenant]

This is such a surreal bit.

[@codyofathens3397]

What got me is that milk was super important to so many cultures, and makes it into so many mythologies, it legit wouldn't shock me if Jerry Randall Randall did exactly this.

[@samuelhatfield7415]

Usually something like this would come across as insulting to Tolkien or his mythos but this is so well done that it doesn't. Well done.

[@mistertea603]

I think because it's clearly done with love and attention to detail

[@blackmagician7645]

A sketch about hobbit milk got more laughs out of me than I think I'm comfortable with.

[@jcliffe116]

Got some big BDG energy from this skit I love it

[@keithklassen5320]

102%! Couldn't put my finger on it til I read this.

[@Samael767]

Holy shit, yes

[@Cheskaz]

I was literally about to search for his channel to waste time when KZbin suggested this one.

[@jachariah4694]

The thumbnail had me thinking it was BDG

[@relativelyjilly]

so that's what it was

[@MakCurrel]

Like how he put in incest in the geneology map as a joke

[@themedia1271]

I'm highly considering doing this for my theatre class just to see how my professor will react

[@vanillaplanifoliae]

it's been a year but i hope you did it!

[@spyrofan9681]

Legends of the Froth sounds like a good fantasy book about beer brewing during the fourth age of prohibition where a rag tag group of goblins dwarves and an elf hook up to brew beer in an abandoned dragon's lair... I'm a steal it

[@keiichimorisato98]

Please, that sounds awesome. Make it an audio book and I might buy it.

[@des-astre]

Cool idea.

[@blinkbones3236]

I'd read that.

[@BE-ew2pt]

I'm crying what IS this

[@MisterAppleEsq]

It's actual footage of Jerry Randal Randal Tolkien.

[@hibiscusflowers4436]

Art

[@artemisfowldragon]

True beauty

[@vikrenfield]

*THEY 👏 COULD 👏 SMELL 👏 THE 👏 MILK 👏 JACOB*

[@dogsforever5707]

Nice profile picture :):):)

[@elligrant7501]

I appreciate the profile pic

[@annaderhirte9972]

It's really uncomfortable to drink milk while watching this.

[@fruitygarlic3601]

No cap, I find it pretty uncomfortable to drink milk in general.

[@nittygritty7034]

It's a power move

[@jaredflynn3750]

It makes the milk drinking experience better what are you talking about

[@thebossbrenden1838]

It should empower you thinking of a hobbit slowly milk himself into a pale and it ending up in your glass. You should feel so much more powerful!!!!

[@jaredflynn3750]

@@thebossbrenden1838 Hobbit milk has been shown to be 30% more nutritious than Giants milk with less fat make the right choice choose Hobbit milk.

[@ororion212]

The Song of Bomfom (that you were looking for in the comments section) Once I sat with Bomfom His belly fat and round I said good sir, your hobbits milk Is the best in all the town We splashed We splashed We splashed We splashed The day away With hobbits milk exploding Out his nipples oh, hooray So, Hi diddle doo Hi diddle dee Hi diddle you Hi diddle me Hi diddle him Hi diddle she That's how my Hobbit milked me (Mandatory) *I want to kill you*

[@edoboleyn]

Can’t wait for Ed Sheeran’s version of the “Song of Bomfom.”

[@montecristo1845]

He looked like Craig Ferguson for a moment when he said: “Oh, you don’t think that’s Tolkien-esque?”

[@amazingstink]

Still hands down my favorite proformence from this. Just the ludicrously of what he is saying and how serious he says it just allways brings a smile to my face

[@Mothmaninist]

This is genuinely one of the funniest things I’ve ever experienced

[@morganminecraftlegion9101]

The fact that there images were added in makes it better, especially considering some of the audience likely couldn't see it.

[@MisterAppleEsq]

Apparently there was a projector.

[@morganminecraftlegion9101]

@@MisterAppleEsq Ah that makes more sense

[@MustangSally1971]

I can imagine Adam Driver doing this sketch on SNL.

[@Charlie-eh2wj]

How did his claps sound so sharp. Those were perfect foley claps. Is that his main power

[@baguettegott3409]

What. the hell was this. I was looking for a video to explain the generalized mean value theorem in a visual way so I can understand my maths homework. But when I opened KZbin, THIS was sitting in the recommended section, and I was powerless against the urge to watch it immediately. I'll never see those poor Hobbits the same way as before...

[@m3rrys0ngstr3ss]

I'm just imagining Jacob sitting offstage, cool and serene, just thinking "You can't intimidate me, you tweed-wearing lactation fetishist."

[@MsUrsulaHitler]

How did it work, when he was holding up the maps and diagrams and stuff? The audience is laughing like they can see the same things we can. Was there a projection behind him or something?

[@CharactersWelcome]

There is a large projector screen above the back wall of the theater

[@MJ-mp1fx]

No joke, I am reading the Lord of the Rings right now. To relax before going to sleep, I like to curl up and read a couple chapters while drinking a big glass of milk. That... May no longer relax me after seeing this bit...

[@TheArmchairrocker]

"Every race got different milks, Jacob!"

[@shannonharris2452]

I say “they can smell the milk, Jacob!” far too much in casual conversation

[@MrSkinnyWhale]

This shit had me howling THEY 👏 CAN 👏 SMELL 👏 THE 👏 MILK 👏 JACOB 👏THEY 👏 CAN 👏 SMELL 👏THE 👏 HOBBIT 👏 MILK 👏 FROM👏 A 👏 MILE 👏 AWAY 👏 THAT'S 👏THEIR 👏 MAIN 👏 POWER 👏

[@radianttakanuva8388]

2% hobbit's milk assumes Middle Earth has the metallurgy and industrial advancements to process, pasteurize, and sell milk the conspiracy cuts deeper than you think

[@artemisfowldragon]

The sheer chaotic power of this person

[@GaryDunion]

This is Tom Cruise's greatest ever performance

[@rippedupmagazine]

This guy took his anger management issues and turned it into acting. But seriously, I know nothing about these books, and Graham absolutely killed it with this performance! I’ve never laughed so hard until now

[@gylfie24linole]

I always called him “Jonald Ronald R Tolkien” in my head, Jerry Randall Randall is highly superior

[@homeofsapiens5783]

Try Jolkien Rolkien Rolkien Tolkien

[@nebulye9617]

I now have the perfect monologue for auditions

[@VulpisFoxfire]

...Why is Harry Potter ranting about hobbit milk?

[@bankcolgate2155]

Truly inspired performance. We have just seen a man milk his way into greatness.

[@michaelwinter742]

As far as im concerned, this is canon.

[@m3rrys0ngstr3ss]

You know it's gonna be good when he doesn't even bother to give JRR an accent.

[@note4note804]

Sike, Tolkien only pretended to care about his Hobbit milk so his editor would completely forget about Tom Bombadil.

[@PanicsMuse]

Jerry Randell Randell Tolkien died cause of you Jacob

[@ourkeving]

I have inflicted, I mean "shared" this with my friends and family. This should be fun.

[@kaiyost7025]

from the moment he says "where's the hobbit milk, jacob?" i lost it 😭😭😭

[@Mollysanchezcomedian]

HI DIDDLE HIM HI DIDDLE HE I AM DEAD NOW

[@Megapixel8063]

He sang that hobbit milk song so condescendingly.

[@draxiss1577]

I'm not sure how, but I somehow remembered "Jerry Randall Randall Tolkien" as "Jolkien Rolkien Rolkien Tolkien" and honestly I like my version better.

[@Coldyham]

I had "Jonald Ronald Rolkien Tolkien" on my bingo card

[@sgbd461]

I was laughing for most of this, but when it got to Señor Nipples on the genealogy chart, I had to pause the video for a full 60 seconds to laugh hysterically.

[@phoebethepheebs6583]

"THEY CAN SMELL THE MILK JACOB. THEY CAN SMELL THE MILK FROM A MILE AWAY! THAT'S THEIR MAIN POWER" LMAOOO

[@michaelpigue5272]

This is so gloriously unhinged.

[@odothedoll2657]

I’ve practically memorized this this is my favorite thing ever

[@O4C209]

God bless the unsung heroes known as Editors.

[@Elminster-ln4yw]

This is a fairly realistic parody of Tolkien

[@Elminster-ln4yw]

"And worst of all... The changed Elven... To Elfin! Elfin!"

[@jurassictart6897]

i saw the title and immediately thought “honey! wherrrres why hobbit milk!”

[@ambersummer2685]

Me: I wanna see that movie about J.R.R Tolken “We have the Tolkien movie at home”

[@linkdapuppyandfriends9023]

This had to be my favourite video on the channel. One of the best skits.

[@tobler17]

"Tom 2% Bombadill" Made me laugh way more than it ever should lmao

[@christinaangelamendoza3672]

As a devoted fan of The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings, I am traumatized...

[@okayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy]

This sketch made me vegan.

[@RedZeshinX]

Plot Twist: Jacob is lactose intolerant. DUN DUN DUNNNN. 🥛🥛🥛

[@PoppyHapalopus]

This is the best video on this whole channel. I've showed it to literally everyone who I can get to watch it. It's become a meme in my friend group. Once in a while someone will just yell out THEY 👏🏼 CAN 👏🏼 SMELL 👏🏼 THE 👏🏼 MILK👏🏼 JACOB 👏🏼 and it's amazing

[@JeffinBville]

Graham Techler is a star.

[@liamboardman8776]

I don't know if this is a repost or another performance of this, but I'm so glad that more people are seeing this

[@eternalmiasma5586]

This is the strangest character yet, and I love it Btw did anyone else here a “boo” at 2:57? Who tf boo’d this

[@okayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy]

No see, that was actually an excited "moo", to show his support for Jerry Randal Randal Tolkien in this sketch

[@HannahClarkgreencupcakes]

Jacob…

[@elliotburns4961]

He was saying "boo-urns"

[@cookdoido]

i hope amazon is aware of this video, i really want to see the origin of all the types of milk

[@anglicothemonkey3496]

we all know that his real full name is Jolkien Rolkien Rolkien Tolkien

[@AlohaFam]

That’s 👏🏽 their 👏🏽 main 👏🏽 power 👏🏽 😂

[@TahtahmesDiary]

The song omfffg YES I loved the steady increase in energy, what a great laugh! 💜😂

[@1dDisneyluva]

BLESS the lotr editors 😭😭

[@sylph8005]

I had a good feeling this would be disturbing and I watched it anyway

[@AndromedaCripps]

Oh my goooooooood comedic perfection 😂😂😂😂👌🏻

[@pabloide3792]

this tolkien has a lot of tom cruise energy, and I love it

[@henri3637]

my ONLY note is that i feel he missed the chance to say "stupid milk" instead of "stupid juice"

[@mellyq92]

At first I thought this was about Tolkien finding out they milked the hobbit into three movies.

[@Trollioli]

Ohhhh LoTR makes a ton more sense now. Damn editors.

[@user-bj7em4fv1p]

This is glorious ahahahah!!! I hope the guy who wrote and performed this knows he’s a genius! 💯

[@hawkeyenextgen7117]

Why does this guy remind me of Tom Cruise?

[@JollibeenosHasYourCoordinates]

Don't mind me, this is just for me... *[**1:46**]* *[**1:46**]* *[**1:46**]* *[**1:46**]* *[**1:46**]*

[@alisonlewin]

Lines from this skit will now be a part of my vernacular

[@flippyhairproduction]

This is beautiful

[@felixmarques]

This is absolutely incredible. Just incredible.

[@magicalotterlion]

Fun fact: this is a true story