JavaZone 2012: The Java Heist

[@VanitySoft]

your suppose to be an expert!" ,"no, im just a java certified programmer" LOL

[@jpwolf1701]

Alan Ford is hillarious, just the expletives makes it worth while but he delivers them brilliantly lol :) Great Java video!

[@ShajiDJ]

still runs at speeds comparable to native code... funny :)

[@SIeipner]

Well It maybe it would if you were targeting one architecture and one operating system, but then it would defeat the whole purpose of Java.

[@Kabodanki]

Of course look at minecraft

[@ELRhouni]

sapher974 Minecraft is coded terrible, never use that as an example.

[@predatortheme]

I think one of the newest java runtime does compile java to binary the first time you run the code on android devices.

[@ME0WMERE]

it kinda is...if you use a log scale

[@hackervaccine3988]

Probably the most awesome video on KZbin. No qualifiers.

[@GoofyChaiLoverGirl]

this is fuc**king brilliant :D.......

[@AndriyLinnyk]

2:50 finishing up the assignment on last minute

[@Monitrech]

Lol license plate a 1:21

[@coladict]

Of course they don't mention that by "comparable" they mean it's in the same units, but just a few orders of magnitude slower.

[@Lezhlee]

Trying to count how many times the word 'fucking' was said. I've lost track ! Brilliant !

[@TMaierhofer]

Installing a fucking huge number of Java security updates over and over again makes me believe that this Video is nice but shows the situation on another planet.

[@sebzim4500]

Java startup time is great, in my experience.

[@DelusionalLogic]

Brilliant teaser

[@wawrzyniakmm]

This is the best fucking java commercial I've ever fuckin seen for fucks sake!

[@IntoxicCH]

That's a valid point. I can only think of YAML that does it better, but unfortunately there is not as wide a support as for XML. That XML and XQuery support are standard-issue in most frameworks is probably the main reason why I'm still often inclined to use it.

[@CesarAlvaradoP]

Paper money is obsolete, so what would one nick from a bank these days? Ones and zeros of course!

[@justthen1270]

Right on... Ford's @ it again... Legend!

[@talktalktalktalktalk]

and off course speed matters. it's not the only thing that matters but still important.

[@jkbscopes1233]

every time i watch this i just hear bane going "i dont know what happened its ok i know some people il get you out soon"

[@sikanrong101]

I don't know how this holds up as a promotional video for Java. It feels more like "Snatch" meets "Oceans 11"?

[@Wisteso]

Yeah it does, actually. Sometimes it can out-perform native code as well, when talking about making use of runtime optimizations that compiled code cannot.

[@jaimecalixto2489]

i love the old guy lol as tight as the queen ..... how why do you now that

[@Bloodshot021]

What do you mean by 'out of the box' and how does it compare between the two?

[@eugenkeller]

"JVM is a platform that runs ALL languages" From java 1 to java 19.

[@wilsondepaula4840]

This video caused me a NullPointerException...

[@jet1407]

Ohh I love this!

[@ISHGAARD]

What's the music?

[@je3f0o74]

Mr Plus is our man inside ? means C++ inside Java ? lol

[@zibrikahn]

c syntax they meant

[@baboon_baboon_baboon]

Why is this on a separate channel than the other JavaZone Norway?

[@ivosu4936]

that plate on the van :D

[@alexsailingadventures]

Is it Alan Ford?

[@stell4you]

And what are Java browser plugins written in?

[@brendel000]

Funiest part : 3:14 . "speeds comparable to optimized native code".

[@bonfil1]

i learn java with that book and now im a real developer

[@Gontzal7]

I guess they didnt anticipate all the security holes that have been found lately.....

[@jmcc000]

Every major language has a large CVE list. I would love for you to tell us about one that doesn't

[@mavamaarten]

I know. I was just too lazy to google some statistics. You can't deny Java has a pretty bad reputation about security.

[@spirits_]

Hei, fet video. Hvorfor legger dere ikke ut promo-videoene fra de foregående år. Alle sammen har vært utrolig bra.

[@FussyCashew]

Wow, glad my headphones were on! Awesome though.

[@samuelacevedo8238]

This is fucking brilliant.! xd

[@yunusemreerken9644]

this is awesome "real freedom"

[@epinephrindna3385]

Is it a parody on Tower Heist movie?

[@elgunlee]

.net core: hold my beer

[@GoofyChaiLoverGirl]

hahaha.......do I look like Mr.Fu**king Bean ???????...:D

[@iamck47]

@ungamedplayer yeah f****g bricktop.. love that guy and his accent.. i'm gonna watch snatch again tonight

[@tea_bonica]

Will you stop fucking about with that fucking shooter?! Bang! OW! Anway...

[@Kissaki0]

If you say that, and even quote them, at least quote them correctly. He said “comparable to optimized native code”. It may be a (big) exaggeration, but he certainly didn't say "[as] fast as". And in the end, every speed would be comparable - just not necessarily close to one another. :)

[@steamsoil]

This is fucking brilliant!

[@LetsgoSkydive]

Tell that to Oracle...

[@RoyalGiraffe]

What movie is this parodying?

[@Aurodeus]

+RoyalGiraffe a video game. Payday

[@soheylatn380]

RoyalGiraffe That's Brick Top from Snatch...

[@dipjes]

Alan Ford!!!! awesome :)

[@glowiever]

should have been played by mr. Durga Sir!

[@iSeeJayVee]

Funniest part of this video was when they said it runs at speeds comparable to native code.

[@MightySavagE]

The 1337 code killed it :D

[@QIZI94]

"Java can run at speeds comparable to optimized native code" haha what a joke, maybe if your code have around 500 lines of code maybe then but, if you are aiming for a big software then this is not true.

[@saltyman7888]

python!

[@QIZI94]

Spiral Knights is very simplistic and grahicaly non-intensive game, most of the work is done at the GPU side of this is not very good example, even so you need 1.3 GHz CPU a 512 ram, just fun fact Vannila WoW needed 800 MHz CPU and 512 ram, made in C ++ and Spiral Knights offers just a fraction of what WoW offered back then. That is something to think about. If you want fair comparasion find A title a game that uses java at it's frontend.

[@QIZI94]

"grahicaly non-intensive game, most of the work is done at the GPU side" (which has very little to do with Java after shaders are loaded)

[@elitegamingbot]

surely you don't know java native interface

[@deathangel523]

Java is pretty awesome! Write once runs anywhere with the JVM.

[@jayma4098]

Death Angel Are u sure?

[@DlcEnergy]

yes, if you've set it up properly.

[@RoiAtalla]

I do agree with you that as we get faster hardware, it seems less and less developers care for every ounce of performance. However, today memory is no longer an issue in almost anything and the JVM startup time is so highly optimized that it's almost unnoticeable. Hardware developers make faster hardware....so we can have games like Battlefield 3 possible ;)

[@TomEugelink]

Antiquated? Oh my. First of all C# / DotNet is a blatant copy of Java, after MS got their pants pulled down by the judge back in 2001, because they were not allowed to embrace, extend and extinguish it. And Oracle sued Google because they want to assert total control over Java, a bit hard when it was made open and free by the previous owner. Oracle just has to learn how to work with that "open source" concept. You know, that thing where 70% is done in Java. On the up take; C# is a good copy.

[@IntoxicCH]

And why, pray tell?

[@nitneverlost1]

wait till he sees javascript

[@yazlo]

Dinnerbone just tweeted this video!

[@WhoTheHellAreYa]

Grandpa should've hired a reverse engineerer instead of certified java programmer :)

[@dilungmoveityafool777]

Should've hired a reverse engineer that works in Java :)

[@MulleDK19]

No reverse engineer works in Java...

[@dilungmoveityafool777]

MulleDK19 Making a joke.

[@DlcEnergy]

reverse engineer is a term doofus... for figuring out how they got to this end result. if you get some obfuscated jar, you can reverse engineer that of course. say like minecraft. have you seen inside that. all those classes from aaa-zzz, and everything inside them... all meaningless short piles of rubbish. but since it's easy to see what the code is doing, you can refactor it bit by bit... there are a team of people that actually have been doing that. they're who make MCP. lol so yeah. there are reverse engineers in pretty much any language. people doing it all the time...

[@jmcc000]

@@DlcEnergy Minecraft :D

[@HausOfSoare]

1337... haha.

[@MartyJames23]

Cool ass trailer

[@AliAkbarDev]

not for high performance 3d engines

[@MahmudAlNoorTareq]

The best.

[@RoiAtalla]

Java really is almost as fast native code. You guys forget the Hotspot optimizations..which includes compiling the bytecode to native code on the fly ;)

[@informationasap8672]

C# is also a user friendly, object oriented and high performance language. Also C++ runs faster than JAVA

[@jmcc000]

nobody uses c# for big projects. When was the last time you logged into a tier 1 website and were presented by a blazor layout, or a c# backackend. It all for small windows shops who don't know any better.

[@talktalktalktalktalk]

benchmarks != real world

[@darth1anyan]

A month to film the actors and a month to compile the code from the screen xD

[@TheSurvivor1963]

De ligger ute, det er bare å bruke søkeordet "javazone".

[@Claymore2408]

Why have they got subtitles for bricktop's part? Fuck sake he's speaking english...

[@RoiAtalla]

Even high performance 3D engines are possible with Java ;)

[@davidgmos]

awesome java is the law......

[@5joulespercoulomb]

that took me a while to get=p

[@mavamaarten]

Best commercial ever, but Java is still one of the worst things ever in terms of security.

[@atelenga]

Класс! :)

[@OlegAdianov]

Единственно за что ненавидел Sun - это за создание java. :)))

[@АртемКозак-ц5ъ]

+Oleg Adianov оффнись

[@OlegAdianov]

Артем Козак хамло и придурок? В бан. Не разбираясь в природе вашего скудоумия.

[@talktalktalktalktalk]

thats just a benchmark.. in the real world things are a bit different

[@Mvek13]

Don't think, Java is so bad in security manner, because it is used on SIM cards (UICC). But yes, in the smallest version, not J2EE or J2SE, but JavaCard.

[@ganjiraja9407]

if(this.getname().equals(that.getname()))..........LOL....only a programmer gets the joke.

[@OverG88]

Commercial for programming language....Hm...thats new.

[@oO_ox_O]

in practice it fails on the alleged human-readable aspect

[@lawviktor7610]

Love this most~~

[@SawanVaidya]

LEET

[@АндрейАлексеенко-ф2к]

Это пять! :D

[@ItsJerryAndHarry]

Why did the Java chicken cross the road? -lol i forgot the joke D:

[@KonstantinSivakov]

Millwall Football Team !!!!

[@Only1Woodo]

"Do you know who I am..."

[@eddiekoski]

yea but that is what his minions were for

[@RoLLerHel]

ROFL ROFL It's brilliant!))

[@DelusionalLogic]

That's because oracle has the most popular JVM, and they wanted to sue over some api hooks that google used without paying, which the court called bollocks. java is open, oracle JVM is not Just like apples JVM is closed. just because the language is open doesn't mean that everything it uses has to be.

[@cilomanfreebsd]

Fucking Awesome!!!

[@medecauOne]

Pretty awesome, if it wasn't for Java.

[@bgrz]

RIP Sun, fu*k Oracle

[@welbornelaguinday1544]

epic!

[@HaroldoPinheiro-OK]

52 C# programmers didn't like this video. :P

[@taragragg400]

RIP C

[@bendibell]

Java plugins are Java bro. That's what causes all the security issues.

[@PadsBanger]

nope, php. it works out of the box

[@jdblaich]

The open source reference is pretty cool. Other than that it's virtually a bald faced lie.

[@AlvinC-sz3li]

I am just a java certificated programmer??? Hahaha

[@sugarwarlock]

The JVM needs more RAM but the code runs as fast as native code since the JVM can optimise on the fly instead of setting a flag for the compile process. I found a nice chart for comparison a few month ago but I didn't save it. Java and the JVM is definitively comparable to C and C++

[@eugenkeller]

Python is even faster... because it can be interpreted on-the-fly intstead of compile process. I found a comparison chart, then I lost it. Python is definetely faster than C and C++.

[@kobavadim]

C#