15 Very Dumb Things in Fantastic Beasts 2

Can’t-spells is my new name for all you guys in the comments section.
Click your favorite thing that’s going to happen in Fantastic Beasts 3:
It turns out Buckbeak was a Filipino man named Buckbeak the whole time - / jennynicholson
We find out about Grindlewald’s crimes but they’re all white collar crimes and it’s kind of a weird energy - / jennyenicholson
They go somewhere warm and instead of an only slightly-different wardrobe where they’re all in similar long coats again, we get a movie of them all in tacky vintage beach fashion and Newt Scamander is in like khaki shorts that go to his knees - / spider_jewel
JKR accidentally includes backstory for a character from The Walking Dead, forgetting that she didn’t write that - / spiderjewel
Fantastic Beasts 3: HP Origins: Hagrid - / jennynicholsonvids

[@SemiIocon]

Are the snakes behind you also secretly women?

[@kachiechan]

I loved you in Fantastic Beasts 2

[@weiyin8046]

TIL jenny keeps a harem of snake women

[@JennyNicholson]

Yes and they have been for 20 years

[@timtam7294]

Remember it has to be diverse women cuz JK Rowling

[@sherlocksmuuug6692]

@@timtam7294 They also have to be an unintentionally racist allegory, because JK Rowling. Anyone remember that time she said that raving bloodthirsty beasts that want to infect children were actually an allegory for the victims of AIDS-hysteria? How classy.

[@soundtracksearch]

If I was going to do a drive-by movie spoiler, I'd just yell "Grindelwald vapes World War II!" out the window and leave them to chew on that for a bit.

[@deffdefying4803]

And have them be surprised and disgusted that _what you said is actually true and accurate_

[@xFirebird925x]

Genius

[@K4113B4113]

Hahahahaha

[@mungosiffphryyt3123]

Do a drive by and say: "hey! Credence is a Dumbledore!"

[@WTFisTingispingis]

Amazing.

[@CZsWorld]

"Can you imagine if they just stopped making these movies?" ~Jenny Nicholson (2018)

[@geoffheaven3772]

“Dobby is free!”

[@firstlast201]

​@@geoffheaven3772 "10 min ago'

[@joshuaathridge3694]

She did it. We're free!

[@ronandoyle827]

actually they did make a third one, it came out in 2022, literally a year and a half before you made this comment. but people gave negative shits about it so no one knows about it lmao (i only remembered it did cuz i looked up buddy and karma's real names and was like "wait why are there three here")

[@qhillis]

It’s a shame. The grindelwald era had plenty of room to be interesting, but poor writing and the need to shoehorn Newt to make it related to the first one was a big mistake

[@dopeysponge4857]

Two most disturbing things to my mind: 1) Two babies get killed in this movie. TWO. 2) Half elves are a thing. That they just brush over. Someone out there is screwing house elves. Why?

[@pandeene]

How... how did I miss this? And is it bad that I’m laughing?

[@13thEvilHamster]

Jesus christ, why are they even bothering fighting Grundlehump when every wizarding world law enforcement officer should be combining their efforts to hunt down whoever it is sexing up their house elves?!

[@MyssBlewm]

OMG Why is Jo making her fans think about wizards sleeping with house elves and giants?

[@Mystcret]

Did you notice that Hagrid is half giant?

[@pattedechat2457]

To be honest Hagrid being half-giant was a far worst discovery. How is that even physically possible ? There are also strong hints that Flitwick is half-goblin and that's why he's so small.

[@Wrynwynn]

I do like this movie’s implication that when Mcgonagall turned into a cat on the first day of transfiguration it was the magical equivalent of her standing up and doing a flip.

[@salemroses6401]

The children wanted funnier acrobatics (better animals). She should have been a dragon and that would be a circus routine. Cat is just an oh huh moment.

[@Jack-sy8mr]

“Minerva, do a flip!”

[@iwakeupandboomimarat]

honestly its more like when a kid asks u to watch them do something really cool and then they just do a spin

[@kevinalmgren8332]

@@Jack-sy8mr”do a cat-flip!”

[@analias1983]

No that's what I was thinking too lmao

[@Fitzroyfallz]

Fantastic beasts should have done what it said on the tin. A movie about a kooky dude who just wants to travel and help out animals.

[@willigagbob8243]

That's because they didn't have any real idea what to call a movie about Dumbledore and Grendewald. I suppose A History of Magic wouldn't work because....why isn't it called A History of Magic?

[@redmanish]

Hippie Whovian THANK YOU. I don’t need grit and drama, I need magical Steve Irwin petting a dragon.

[@cloegemmel7177]

They could have had some great messages about animal conservation too! I mean, the first movie was about social issues with the backdrop of a war, so why not have the prequels be about environmental issues with the backdrop of a war? I mean, its really topical right now and could make a statement, but instead its a shitshow

[@lemonpines]

Exactly my thought!!!!!!

[@AlashiaTuol]

Can you imagine Fantastic Beasts, but like, a Tiger King version? 😂

[@KyleRayner12]

It would be pretty amazing if Newt didn't give a damn about Grindelwald's politics and was solely in it to avenge the lizard.

[@jean-paulaudette9246]

And it seems more in-character.

[@melodyhaviland9393]

GOD YES

[@KyleRayner12]

@@melodyhaviland9393 Plus, it explains the Holocaust thing. "Why didn't wizardkind stop Hitler?" "Well, one guy tried to warn us, but he was stopped by an animal-rights wizard." "... What?"

[@melodyhaviland9393]

KyleRayner12 amazing point!!

[@MC-pt8kv]

Like John Wick the wizard?

[@PhilosophyTube]

The Crimes of Grindelwald: - Exceptional cruelty to a lizard - Assembly without a permit - Having a gay lover in England before 1967 - Wand theft - That moustache

[@poisondamage2182]

-being johnny depp and not colin farrell

[@pigmiwarriorentertainment274]

- Adverse Possession (aka squatting) - Grand Theft Auto (aka Taking without consent) - Escape from Custody

[@gracelessabomination9847]

also murdered about 30 people that we saw, but you know

[@uf2794]

Bad color lenses

[@jimmothyjohnson]

-vaping It's not really a crime it just makes him a douche

[@karsonbollinger8412]

I think what’s even better than the baby dying in the actual shipwreck is the fact that the baby did in fact make it into the lifeboat…. But then that lifeboat also sank

[@shadixyt]

So much for being a powerful wizard family. Drowns in a sinking lifeboat. What an embarrassing way to go.

[@GrixieKong]

Everyone said I was daft to put a baby in a life boat. But I did it anyway! Just to show ‘em! … it sank into the sea.

[@Roma-kp4qg]

comedy gold

[@jackalobowaitthisnameistaken]

Was that lifeboat also the Titanic?

[@Lucifersfursona]

Wizards in this universe vastly overestimating the power of any wizard baby (bc they’re. Hhh. Supremacists) and it leading to stuff like this is the kind of sickly black comedy that the hp universe is better suited for

[@Motifcycle]

Professor Mcgonagall: Divining is a notoriously imprecise art. Grindlewald: *vapes and predicts the Manhattan Project*

[@guidetoanything]

I think that's generally for the majority of wizards, however some people like Sybill Trelawney and somewhat for Harry (he did see a grim) and now supposedly for Grindelwald, Divination must just be part pf their innate abilities. I imagine it's like being born left handed, some people can learn to be ambidextrous, but if you're not born a lefty you will never make the baseball team as a south paw pitcher. It would be a stupid oversight to not have Dumbledore mention to Harry it in any of book 6 if that was the case though, so I assume it was just retcon because JKR wanted it that way.

[@DukeDukeGo]

@@guidetoanything wasn't the Grimm just Sirius?

[@guidetoanything]

@@DukeDukeGo yes, he met a black dog, and also discovered the guy who helped his parents get found and killed, which seems pretty specific so that implies Harry has a very minute psychic ability. Whether or not someone is a believer of psychic readings in real life, Harry lives in a world where magic is real, so that implies that psychic readings could also be very real.

[@msjkramey]

@@guidetoanything but a grim means death and no one died in that book/movie

[@guidetoanything]

@@msjkramey yeah I think that's the hokey side of it, interpretation. Trelawney obviously did have the talent, I think it's referenced as a reason she was hired. But having visions and knowing what they mean are obviously not inclusive, she even forgets her real visions. Maybe it's giving JKR too much credit, but it seemed to me like Trelawney and to a small extent Harry both had the psychic gift.

[@katherinealvarez9216]

I'll be honest- if the movies were just about Newt caring for his animals and being a wizard Doctor Dolittle, I would love them.

[@DaveLH]

I'm pretty sure many millions of people agree with you.

[@DaveLH]

From a review of "Grindelwald" by author Dana Schwartz: "People didn't fall in love with Harry Potter for the action sequences... Every battle cannot be the most important battle, and every wizard cannot be the most important wizard. The Harry Potter magic wasn't in its action sequences or the biggest, scariest villain -- It was in the feeling of fundamental belonging we got with Harry and his friends at Hogwarts. They [by which I think she means the moguls at Warner Bros., though it might apply to JKR as well] are so insecure with their own universe that they think they need a giant international adventure saga with new twists, when all they need is a group of friends eating chocolate frogs in a common room by a fireplace."

[@XescoPicas]

Thay would be amazing

[@allyli1718]

@@XescoPicas OMG me too! Would love to see Newt going on world wide adventures to meet creatures!

[@thegenderfluidthing8660]

strongly seconded

[@duytran1116]

Dumbledore: "I can't move against Grindelwald. It has to be you, Newt" Newt: "Why me? What reason do I have to fight him?" Dumbledore: "He killed a lizard" Newt: *_apparates to Paris_*

[@ΕΛΜΑΠΙΣΤΟΦΙΔΟΥ]

Hahahahahaha!!!!

[@pengwin_]

better plot that what they went with. I remember in the R.O.D. anime, secret agent "The Paper" only goes after a villain because they have a book she owns. I honestly thought the plot was going to be that yes while grindelwhatever is evil and going to fuck up the wizarding world, newt only cares about helping negini. NOPE!

[@scottski02]

So magical John Wick? I would watch the shit out of that.

[@mariamyupperz7614]

🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@jaschabull2365]

+Nicole Ernst Radagast the Brown, is that you?

[@ad-sd-vids5332]

“Grindelwald is a nazi who wants to stop ww2, and queenie, a Jewish woman who can read minds, joins him” Lol

[@malum9478]

lmao even

[@vaehtay]

lmfao if you will

[@mckayla5747]

HAHA if u dare

[@Noobie2k7]

Rofl if I may

[@AnaOhKay]

teehee perchance

[@LindsayEllisVids]

By far the weirdest reveal in this movie is that the Titanic makes a cameo.

[@cinemagraphic6324]

Titanic? You Funny, Lindsay.

[@cinemagraphic6324]

Also, Lindsay Ellis would be Amazing at Cinemasins! *DING.*

[@10INTM]

I thought so t-HOLY CRAP, IT'S YOU!

[@russetwolf13]

Boat cameos are my favorites... But then I'm a nerd for large vehicles so my priorities are skewed.

[@marikotrue3488]

Focusing a major disaster caused by faulty construction, inadequate safety measures, incompetent (and greedy) management is probably symbolism that Warner should have avoided.

[@erikarose740]

Grindelwald is pre-Hitler and Voldemort is post-Hitler. It all converges when J K Rowling reveals that actual Hitler was also a wizard.

[@Tomwithnonumbers]

I always assumed Grindelwald was part of the same thing as the Nazi's. In the books it said that Dumbledore fought Grindelwald in 1945. There's no-way that an extremist central European Wizard just happened to duel a British wizard in 1945 to end a wizarding war.

[@jackdonovan6533]

Hitler was actually Grindelwald and Voldemort voltroned together.

[@cabbagecart-u3x]

@@jackdonovan6533 nah he was their gay child.

[@relentless873]

Hitler went to Durmstrang.

[@Enbionic_Titan]

A gay wizard

[@leavealoner]

This doesn't even talk about the fact that Minerva McGonagall was teaching on at hogwarts about 15 years before she was born...

[@ramywiles]

I am THRILLED at the prospect of getting an explanation for this.

[@tomascinnsealeach9979]

It was her mom ?

[@angelina1071]

@@ramywiles they straight up deleted her canon approx date of birth from pottermore, like, they KNOW that they messed it up and were like "lets just hide the info we put in whats considered the bible of the expanded universe". like, i dont trust anything in this Fantastic Beasts franchise whatsoever

[@laurencewilliams2597]

In the books she tells umbridge how long she's been teaching

[@mathieuleader8601]

its been rectconned @@laurencewilliams2597

[@hothotheat3000]

“Imagine if they just stop making these movies right in the middle like Divergent?” I don’t have to imagine💀

[@raventrunite6459]

‘newts brother- clancy? i feel like his name was clancy’ newts brother: *is named theseus*

[@Sarah-oi3of]

Well now its Clancy.

[@Half-baked-couchpotato2498]

Isn't that the name of the dictionary she used to flip trough stopping at random pages to single out a word to flip into the bowl of words she drew from to make up the script for the movie?

[@midwinterhandgrave324]

If people write fanfics shipping him with various characters, adding and subtracting parts of his personality to make each fanfic work until, by the end, he's nothing like what he originally was, is that still truly a ship of Theseus?

[@FlowWolf7]

@@midwinterhandgrave324 There is no Essence of Clancy

[@nykerianash1590]

Veritable Galanthus Nope, I’ve had this thought to. Change the characters setting, relationships what ever. However, once you change the core of the character it’s not that character anymore. At that point why not just keep the world building and use your own original characters.

[@perpetuallyuncomfortable]

I was so expecting the circus to be more Newt-centric. That was the perfect opportunity to have him rescue some mistreated animals or illustrate one of the shady parts of wizard society. But it was just another throwaway scene to a movie full of them.

[@princessthyemis]

EXCELLENT point!!! The move should have been more about the circus!!!

[@BriIsTheFinestCheese]

I was so stoked on the concept of a magical circus in Paris and then....it was over in like 2 minutes

[@msjkramey]

That would have been amazing. Newt would totally rescue circus animals

[@fruity4820]

He rescued one of the animals from what I remember, and just like in the first movie he later on used it for a plot point like it was a fricking pokemon he caught

[@kieranhair37]

Now I want to see a movie that's basically just the live-action Dumbo movie but set in the Harry Potter universe.

[@WordsFlowMagnetic]

Ringleader: This man may LOOK normal....but he has a blood curse. He can hula hoop. But ONE DAY he will not be able to STOP HULA HOOPING Man: sadly hula hoops while love interest looks on in anger

[@SebiHemke]

this comment is the funniest shit on the internet and i want it to be a vine/tiktok

[@chocolatepiano7366]

This comment is etched into my hysterical brain.

[@tesstesstess111]

hi this comment is ten months old but i still laugh thinking about it how does it feel to be hilarious

[@lennyztrobos8678]

@@tesstesstess111 old but gold

[@chocolatepiano7366]

I'm back again because all yesterday I couldn't stop thinking about this comment.

[@NSFGRDMANN]

Something that really bothered me about the Hogwarts scene is that Dumbledore is giving the exact same boggart lesson that Lupin did, right down to the wardrobe it comes out of... like...are you kidding me? I thought Lupin had devised an engaging practical lesson out of happenstance, making use of a boggart that had taken up residence in the wardrobe, but it turns out to just be part of the basic curriculum for competent DADA teachers. Sidenote, the word curriculum sounds like it could be the spell JK Rowling casts whenever she's too lazy to write something interesting.

[@kool4209]

thats because its all a call back to harry potter....... its lazy asf. same thing they did in the 3rd film with the monster books attacking wizards and the gemini curse from Bellatrixs Vault. Member berries.

[@rooty]

Similar to the Star Wars prequels. Luke and obi wan wore robes because they lived in a fucking desert. In the prequels, those robes become the official jedi uniform. Luke trains with a ball that fires lasers at him while wearing a blast shield because that is just some random shit lying around on the millennium falcon that works as a makeshift test of your instincts. In the prequels, that becomes an official part of the jedi curriculum. So we're supposed to believe that obi wan wore his jedi clothes when he was supposed to be in hiding from the empire who were hunting down and killing all the Jedis, and also kept some school equipment for toddlers with him for like 20 years? Lazy, unoriginal, shitty, pandering writing.

[@davidhardy154]

“Periculum” is the red sparks spell he casts in the maze in the Goblet movie :)

[@cameronhector9074]

​@@rootyIn a series infamous for callback lore for stuff that didn't need it, you managed to pick things that weren't examples. Obi-Wan having a training droid makes sense, he knew Anakin's kids would be Force-Sensitive and would likely want to train them one day. Robes are a common style of clothing, sure, but Obi-Wan's Jedi robes still being worn in hiding is likely honouring his past, as well as being perfectly functional and easily concealed in his cloak. The Solo film has explanations for the Falcon, Han & Chewie's friendship, the Kessel Run, the ornamental dice, the navigational computer on the Falcon, even Han Solo's SURNAME and all of it was unnecessary but done to say "hey, look at all the stuff that references Star Wars!"

[@rooty]

@@cameronhector9074 I don't think you have any idea what "in hiding" means. Do you think Jewish people in Nazi Germany were going around wearing kippahs to HoNoUr ThEiR pAsT? Did they wear religious iconography when they were hiding from religious persecution? And if you believe that's a jedi robe, how do you explain the fact that EVERYONE on tatooine is dressed like a jedi? Was uncle Owen a jedi? Do you know what Occam's razor is? Try to use your brain.

[@shrill_2165]

Petition to change all instances of the word “wizard” to “yes-majique”

[@gabrielleporter553]

" yer a yes-majique Harry "

[@Cherri_Stars]

Since we're speaking French, I would be equally satisfied with "Oui, majique!"

[@TijmenZwaan]

Another petition to change all instances of the word no-mag to yesn't-mag

[@koffinkiss]

@@gabrielleporter553 *_I'm a what_*

[@lucascalhoun4581]

This made me laugh so hard thank you

[@shytendeakatamanoir9740]

The thing is that there are actually different terms for muggles around the world. (In French, it's moldu for example). It would have been a great opportunity to show the work of the numerous translators all around the world. Paying respect to those who helped making the franchise worldwide, instead of making unimaginative made up words.

[@DogNamedWatson]

Man I wonder what the French were thinking when they were like "Nomagick? But our word is Moldu!!!"

[@matthiashavrez]

"non-magique" for "moldu", yep, that's once again a show of disrespect towards another group of people (here, translators)

[@DogNamedWatson]

@@matthiashavrez I 100% believe that J.K. Rowling is only in it for the money and as such doesn't care about anyone or anything else

[@TiMonsor]

in russian its just Магл - mugle with one L. But we call aurors Mrakoborec - those who fight the dark. thats funnier to pronounce

[@spokeforhours]

Yesss! It does not even make sense to have so many different words for it in English. In Brazilian Portuguese, they are called trouxas.

[@donniejefferson9554]

I'm just excited for the day that JK shows off the original napkin and it has only 3 things on it. 1. Snake is Asian circus woman 2. Dumbledore is gay and has an intense sexual relationship with johnny depp 3. Anthony Goldstein - Jew wizard boy

[@XescoPicas]

Anthony Goldstein is my favourite moment of Rowling pretending to be woke. “Sure, I have a jewish character. His name is Goldstein.” The sheer can’t-be-bothered-to-try-ness of it all is amazing.

[@marylawrence2218]

This comment is so underappreciated

[@roxy4568]

I can't stop laughing! Hilarious comment

[@jeromealday614]

So Funny because Anthony Goldstein is actually in Book 5. He's just mentioned twice ( I think ) and never talked about.

[@donniejefferson9554]

@d I dont recall him ever being mentioned in a book or movie. I only know him from the tweet where jk felt it was extremely important to to everyone that there was a Jewish kid at Hogwarts all along

[@EBannion]

Coming back to this now when the news is fresh that the Fantastic Beasts franchise might actually be cancelled because of terrible sales, Jenny's comment about "What if they just stop making these movies in the middle of the story?" is hilariously prophetic.

[@luiysia]

god i hope this happens

[@misteryA555]

It was pretty easy to tell this was going to happen, not gonna lie

[@topogigio7031]

Although the bit at the end about Johnny Depp didn't age very well. Must've been recorded at the peak of Heard propaganda

[@TuesdaysArt]

@@topogigio7031 I think the joke is that Johnny Depp's performance was so lifeless that he felt like a corpse. Nothing about Amber Heard.

[@DemagogueBibleStudy]

​@@topogigio7031 The tabloid nonsense has given you brain damage.

[@micky4072]

Queenie could have moved to London to marry the guy but instead she becomes a Nazi. I guess moving is pretty stressful

[@AllyGatorAnimator]

Considering what Queenie is like as a character, it honestly wouldn't surprise me if the real reason she became a Nazi is because moving is hard. She seems like somebody who would buy into the "come to the dark side, we have cookies" ploy.

[@Rainsofchange]

I thought it was suggested he was "persuasive." To the point where they cut out his tongue so he couldn't keep compromising his guards. It's why he takes the one guy's tongue and replaces it with a snake's for him. I don't think Queenie is acting under her own influence alone.

[@vilwarin5635]

@@Rainsofchange Also, I think he can be using oclumancy to hide his thoughts and show her what he wants.

[@Rainsofchange]

@@vilwarin5635 Exactly. I think showing how Jacob feels and acts under the influence of magic was meant to tie in with what happens to Queenie. Grindy talks about downplaying the violent aspect of his movement and talking up the righteous points to recruit people. Love, freedom, happiness, etc. There's a reason they chose one of the sweetest, kindest characters to have side with him. I think it brings a bit of humanity to Grindy's followers. You know how we ask ourselves how anyone, let alone a country of people could ever support Hitler? It turns out that Hitler campaigned on a lot of things ordinary people wanted. To feed their families, for security, for prosperity. Not *everyone* that might have agreed with parts of his campaign were inherently awful people. She illustrates the same point with Voldy and Grindy. There are extremists that are as awful as him, but then there are others more in it for themselves or for "righteous" reasons like wizarding freedom. These horrendous leaders were persuasive and played on people's fear, antagonizing and demonizing.

[@vilwarin5635]

@@Rainsofchange I can´t agree more with you.

[@mrd4518]

J. K. Rowling is the equivalent of my middle school self plucking my eyebrows for the first time, where it started out great and just got worse as I kept trying to fix it and make them better and more even. They didn't need to be fixed in the first place but I certainly ended up ruining my image and looking like an idiot.

[@80ssynth34]

what a complex metaphor, i salute u comrade

[@phillystevesteak6982]

Majestic metaphor.

[@data0oo0o25]

marisdc what a mood

[@_yellow]

That's an allegory, not a metaphor.

[@phillystevesteak6982]

@@_yellow Yes, allegory. My mistake,

[@arturotrivellini8529]

I lol'd at the "no magique"... I can't imagine a wizard in Paris saying "hi, i'm a yes magique"

[@augustusgloopswag]

even funnier when you know that in the french translation of harry potter the word for muggle is moldu which is also a fun word! they couldnt do their homework on that i guess

[@chrisigoeb]

@@augustusgloopswag I liked the movie actually but in german he says they "kann nicht zaubern" this literally makes absolutely no sense in german

[@augustusgloopswag]

@@chrisigoeb yeah no magique makes no sense in french either

[@alisaurus4224]

“Allo, j’suis un oui-magique”

[@flipflopzthreeonethree1873]

*oui magique

[@arthurtaylor725]

I hate that they had to introduce this whole Grindelwald plot when a movie about a gay and/or asexual Wizarding Steve Irwin who just fucks about 1920s New York trying to save animals is a much better premise for a series of movies

[@quinton-ashley]

FACTS

[@lemonace6695]

YAS

[@NotSomeone68]

I've watched neither. Is there nothing about "magic creatures and where to find them"?

[@willowtdog6449]

💯

[@foxesofautumn]

In the first film, a little. In the second film not a scrap of it.

[@emilie.oegendahl]

JK in interview: Dumbledore was gay and had a relationskip with Grindelwald JK about Fantiastic Beasts 2: Dumbledore and Grindelwald will not be portraied as gay JK on Twitter: Dumbledore and Grindelwald had an intense sexual relationship

[@roxy20231000]

@bertasu the fact that showing gay relationship (not even sexually) will lead to a higher pg rating is so wrong. And I heard pg rating can be lowered, Rebel Wilson just did it for her last mivue JK could have tried.... Anyway, there are so many wrong things in the HP universe now it's hard to care anymore

[@fiora2930]

Considering two babies died in this movie but gay portrayal is too much for ratings is just crazy if you think about it...

[@sapph0sfriend13]

that's why A Very Potter Musical is better than literally everything that happens in the Harry Potter canon

[@YikYakTikTak]

Dumbledore and Grindelwald are the definition of an online relationship

[@lisasowa1195]

I mean, just be thankful that she didn’t write wizards shitting in the streets and magic it away in the script XD

[@juanjosemaestre9417]

the porg sensual pose distracts me from the video

[@espeh75]

It was the three Korean women I found distracting.

[@FreyaEinde]

Giant Porg is channeling the spirit of Burt Reynolds

[@Rob-uv6fb]

Porghub.com

[@roxy20231000]

I have a "draw me like one of your french girl Jack" vibe from this Porg... 😉

[@kutless45]

Oh God. I can't unsee it.

[@initialcreation]

Movie: *has scenes of small children dying and a woman raped* Also movie: no gay for you

[@shethewriter]

You did it you summarized the history of Hollywood movies

[@Fleato]

Huh?

[@silverschannel8578]

It's fascinating. Back in the days movies also can't have a woman leaving her husband, and the filmmakers of Casablanca had to create the ending that both fits the requirements and also gives a satisfactory narrative ending

[@strangerr13]

Lmaaaoo

[@crappymcdick]

Umm, what do you mean? There wasn't any place for that to happen?

[@currantbun2166]

Jacob: The rain only took away my bad memories, so I still remember you. Newt: Wow, I guess friendship really IS witchcraft!

[@luiysia]

LOL

[@bethrowley5464]

This is great

[@markj.3739]

i JUST got here from watching the brony vid lmao

[@Jack-sy8mr]

“I understood that reference”

[@flyingbananas]

I feel the need to add that I came here straight from the Brony video, even in 2024

[@MariaFernanda-yr2ff]

i love how you're referring to zoe kravitz's character as zoe kravitz

[@deffdefying4803]

Zoe wasn't playing a character she just bumbled onto the set by accident one day and is reacting to all the bullshit in the movie as herself

[@DaveLH]

Because the names of the characters in this film are as forgettable as the characters themselves.

[@maxireigl1919]

I feel like when he listed the diffferent terms for 'muggle', Grundelwald should have stumbled while trying to pronounce some comedically long German composite noun. Just imagine: "The Muggles. The No-Majs. The Nichtzaure-, Nichtbauze-, Nichtzaubereiberäf-, ... ähem... Nichtzaubereibefähigten"

[@riftlawyer167]

Maxi Reigl Funny, but unlikely given the fact he could be from germany. The name would fit and he was in Nurmengard which is anywhere in northern europe.

[@SariusxX]

literally dieded

[@riftlawyer167]

@Hannah Dyson Excuse me, random word? I use Nichtzaubereibefähigter at least twice a day in my normal vocabulary 😂

[@vandanacasm]

This is good 😂

[@riftlawyer167]

@Hannah Dyson Hmmm never thought about that. You're probably right. If we talk strictly about, Nichtzaubereibefähigte, english conversations. It would be pretty difficult to Nichtzaubereibefähigte use that word in a sentence that still makes Nichtzaubereibefähigte sense. ;)

[@MaybeRayy]

I hate that they made Queenie lose about 100 IQ points between the first and second movies.

[@girlnettles]

YOU'RE CRAZYYYY

[@tatehildyard5332]

Thank you! No one makes a big deal out the fact that she tried to brainwash a guy into marriage and then sides with the villain even though his primary goal is DIRECTLY counter productive to what she wants.

[@Urrzx]

Maybe Rayy I took them

[@MaybeRayy]

@@tatehildyard5332 YES! This was the main thing that pissed me off about this movie. It makes absolutely no sense for her to side with Grindelwald. And the brainwashing thing is pretty messed up. Queenie from the first movie wouldn't do that. They changed her character completely.

[@darkplant]

Not "they". It was J. K. Rowling She should have done an unbreakable vow not to write any more HP stories. She broke her own promise for M.O.N.E.Y.

[@elirubin434]

Magic can't save people from dying in childbirth; for that, you need the Dark Side of the Force. But that's not a story the Jedi would teach you.

[@capybara1331]

I would love for Anakin Skywalker to just show up and start screaming about the babies

[@crackedemerald4930]

the dark side: reducing child mortality since -5+3i BBy

[@TheSpaceCommunist]

No wonder the reveals in this movie were so confusing. We needed a Sith Lord to clear them up!

[@PavarottiAardvark]

British and American word differences: Zip Code = Post Code Fall= Autumn Restroom = Cottage Donuts = Roundellos Mailman = Postlord Pretzel = Salty Harrumph Pants = Leg Sleeves Hot Dogs = Rupert's Fingers Sidewalk = Footroad Tic-Tac-Toe = The Battle of Gridlington Eggplant = Bunglespleen Cotton Candy = Her Majesty's Sugar Barnet

[@johndou423]

I like how it gets gradually more dubious

[@jiq9178]

There is no way leg sleeve is real

[@Ed-zo2gr]

@@jiq9178​ that's because its a joke that shouldn't have to be told its a joke

[@caseygreyson4178]

British people call it a school, American’s call it a shooting range

[@georgeferrett1799]

@Qing Ji not sure if you got wooshed or are currently trying to woosh me... Sarcasm is hard.

[@phoenixwing2687]

Honestly wouldn't even be surprised if the lizard survived and ended up being Dumbledore's fourth brother smh

[@8Kaska8]

Fantastic beasts: The Wizard Lizard

[@spirithawk6580]

@@8Kaska8 that's a trainwreck I'd pay to see

[@AllyGatorAnimator]

Can't wait for the twist in the final film revealing that Dumbledore went back in time, saved Credence as a baby and somehow left him with another family who named him James Potter, before everybody in the cinema unites in a mutual scream of uncontrolled rage as they try to wrap their head around that grade A bullshit.

[@AscendantStoic]

The title of one of the new "Wizarding World" movies as a result would be "Newt and The Revenge of the Fallen Lizard".

[@HateshWarkio]

"You are a lizard, Harry." "I am what?"

[@maiaks]

Johnny Depp looks like an albino cockatoo

[@laurakeeper6133]

LMAO Yesssssssssss True THAT

[@misscandle]

Wait a minute... Maybe Johnny Depp is the fantastic beast, and these movies are where to find him... 😱

[@vehreys]

Oooooh, THAAAAAT is what he looked like! THANK YOU!

[@princessthyemis]

Buhahaha!!!! He does! I dislike that casting choice even more now lol!

[@The_October_Man]

Maia Meow He also stole David Lynch’s haircut.

[@erlandjohansen7195]

Jenny's suggestion that Rowling just makes everything up as she goes and retcons random things on a whim basically sums up all my problems with the original HP series

[@TheShredworthy]

But also just makes the realization thaat J.K. Rowling would need to internalize if she wanted to just make more of what people liked that she had, and could conceivably still continue to construct. So, by both her and us missing the most important possible comprehension they try to do. We needed to realize why we feel the lack of what had authentically made, in creative expression, in art. She needs to allow for what we can let her see about how she's firing on full -auto in the blind deep darkness, with her eyes closed as well for good measure, but doing it, trying to recreate the goodness she could and had make and had made. If we instead work harder to allow ourselves to really , REALLY communicate and comprehend each others perceptions and perspectives as if they were just as important feeling as their own ego, self-important starting point. We need to work to stop putting other BIG SYTRUCTURAL problems with human storytelling, is how we HAVE to get further.

[@Doombringer55]

What the hell did I just read?

[@goosegas2087]

@@TheShredworthy k

[@punishedbarca761]

@@TheShredworthy Brendan you need to get that heroin problem checked out

[@Faint366]

Ya. Even as a kid the retcon of the diary becoming a horcrux was very telling to me

[@Eli-so8rk]

fantastic beasts flopped cause they didnt let newt take his griffin to arizona and meet the wizard cowboys

[@MysteryDisc]

Was that a real conversation? Because I would've paid money to see that!

[@Savyon0]

Now see, "wizard cowboys" is how I've spent the past 20 years picturing the American Wizard community as being. Thus, I was highly disappointed when Fantastic Beasts just made them thinly-veiled racists instead.

[@oanes8447]

like kingsmen 2 haha

[@coltonmcpherron7607]

@@Savyon0 I'm right there with you. Also America is too big for one wizard community

[@christmastree7394]

you’re right and you should say it

[@frostyenderman13]

"Why is Newt involved in any of this?" Good. Question.

[@Xehanort10]

I've just realised that since Newt looks after magical creatures then Fantastic Beasts is Harry Potter if Hagrid was the main character.

[@msjkramey]

@@Xehanort10 I would love hagrid as a main character lol. Also newt is much smarter

[@kitchristopher7]

I just wished they left out all the dumbledore/Harry Potter reference stuff. Just let it be it’s own story

[@Flowtail]

These movies should've been planet-earth style documentaries, with Newt as the host

[@burnteffigy87]

I live for this alternate version

[@sorryifoldcomment8596]

Exactly! We've spent so little time outside of Hogwarts, there is an unlimited number of creatures they could create, without breaking canon. We know how the magic and spells work, they have to work within those limitations set by the original series. We weren't shown all the land where these creatures could come from. They could put anything there!

[@mothma_am]

yes!! and it could've been like,, a tv series maybe? like 30 minute installments about the animals newt talks about in the og book, just more fledged out

[@R34G4N]

@@mothma_am definitely. a full movie realistically wouldn’t be very nice to watch. the episodic or short form format is perfect

[@VolatileChemical]

god i dont even like harry potter or ANY of these actors anymore so i have not seen either Fantastic Beasts yet. but i would rush to watch that version. like if they had actually adapted the book Fantastic Beasts by Newt Scamander by having it ACTUALLY BE ABOUT fantastic beasts, where to find them, and a guy named Newt telling us about fantastic beasts and where to find them. i haven't seen either of these movies but i can only assume they spend very little time talking about that and much more more being in New York and Paris fighting wizard Nazis

[@thetokutickler]

I like how Dumbledore is like "it has to be you Newt. You're the only one who can defeat Grindelwald", and Newt's like "bitch I write textbooks"

[@spare5808]

In the UK we have 'lifts' in the US you have 'tiny rooms that move vertically between the floors of a building.' Right?

[@JennyNicholson]

Mov-rooms for short

[@jamstonjulian6947]

In Cornwall we have "stairs".

[@wagane1]

@@jamstonjulian6947 That's not true. Cornwall hasn't discovered buildings with more than one floor. Or light switches

[@jacobjohnston3983]

Hey come on, don’t sell us Americans short. In the USA we actually call ‘em “up-n-down closets”

[@Lanoira13]

Granted, they are called "Elevators"... Not that far off from Muggle vs. No-Maj.

[@na5794]

So not only has J.K pulled a complete George Lucas with her prequels, she also pulled a Sherlock season 4 surprise secret sibling plot twist. Bravo.

[@harrysecombegroupie]

Oh god no! Every time I'm reminded that 'Secret Evil Mind Control Sister and The Dog who got put down but was really a Boy who Drowned!!!' actually happened it's like being non-consensually fisted in the soul.

[@larrydarnellrembertiii6258]

Why did you mention that!!!!!

[@deffdefying4803]

@@JC-ev2ns Are there any more Beasts movies due to be made/come out?

[@haggisa]

harrysecombegroupie Heh, I actually liked the “Redbeard was Sherlock’s childhood friend and not a dog” reveal, because it seemed like a plausible thing a young, bullied, completely traumatized boy would want to erase from his memory in order to save his sanity - like a milder version of D.I.D., I suppose. But the reveal of a third Holmes sibling being an even moaaar special person and most genius genius that ever geniused was quite silly, especially when you combine it with the fact, that Euros was then further revealed to have been the young, scared girl on the plane, that only really needed love, acceptance and some violin family playing all along...that...that was slightly painful to behold...way to try to redeem a horrific person by...not really redeeming them at all.

[@charlmane1995]

@@deffdefying4803 yes, it is supposed to be aa 5-movie series

[@cotepich1]

"Added this weird no-homo lore" is the best way you can explain the blood pact

[@avengercannon]

Cant have ghosts or gays in Chinese theaters

[@misteryA555]

The Jacob thing really annoys me because the first movie ended with Queenie walking into Jacob's store and them smiling at each other. They could have just restarted their relationship off-screen! There didn't need to be a retcon!

[@daverobson3084]

Or mind control.

[@LostCosmonauts]

My favourite scene was when Credence pulled out a magical guitar and played Bad Moon Rising. I love that song.

[@kaimacdonnell]

Sniper aganims is good.

[@dr.snakes]

Did someone turn into a werewolf?

[@Flatcetera]

At least that would have been entertaining

[@luigifan1295]

Credence = Credence Clearwater Revival

[@conormurphy7017]

It was especially cool when the song made all the water around him turn clear, then suddenly the revival happened.

[@DafieYo]

One thing about this movie that I was really mad about was how it glossed over that Queenie actually enchanted Jacob, and I felt like that would be a thing that's almost unforgiveable. Like, imagine that you started dating someone with magical powers, and this person uses them on you to make you do something you don't want to. How could you ever trust that person again? And it also brings up several questions, like, did they have sex during this time? That's certainly rape. When was she going to wake him up? Doesn't he get a say in whether or not they marry each other? Is their marriage still going to be valid if the authorities find out that he was enchanted during their wedding? The whole thing just felt so awful, and I kinda hate Queenie now. She obviously doesn't care about whether or not Jacob chooses to love her with his free will or not and is ultimately not afraid of using magic on him to make him do what she wants. That's pretty fucking awful.

[@saddlerrye6725]

Add it to the fact that that's Voldemort's origin story: his mom drugged his father and married him, then she persuaded herself that somewhere in the process he fell in love with her. Then when he leaved her, she became depressed leaved his newborn babe in an orphanage, then died.

[@thegenderfluidthing8660]

not to mention so many similar things happen in the real world even without magic, most abusive relationships are centered around emotional control

[@Iamjustherek]

Tbh Rowling really tends to sweep the whole “love potions are basically date rape” under the rug A LOT in the books. Like this is stuff that’s sold to kids out of Weasleys Wizard Wheezes like it’s nothing.

[@EternalGuardian07]

They portray as bad when LeStrange did it, so it definitely wasn't something that passed her. Knowing JK, she probably did mean to make it abusive but didn't put it in the film.

[@legrandliseurtri7495]

*Darkstalker enters the chat*

[@TheVolgun]

The ending to this video was better than the baby reveal in the actual movie.

[@at5203]

TheVolgun and Jenny Nicholson, unlikely crossovers if I've seen them

[@JohnsDough1918]

Doctor Miller watches movies. L O R E.

[@Amyphere]

Are you procrastinating Dr. Miller?

[@ronin0075]

NOTICEMESENPAI! Lol

[@budthecyborg4575]

Definitely the cherry on top.

[@Lolo50000]

i know this is super late but i just realised from the first film...wouldn't the obliviate rain have absolutely decimated New York's wizard population? Like, only the main characters and the wizard FBI were aware of what was happening in time to make their little magic umbrella things, but surely the thousands of non-FBI wizards roaming the streets at that time just had their entire lives deleted. Maybe the reason they don't go back to New York in the second film is because they're still coping with Newt's humanitarian crisis.

[@DoodleDino123]

Not to mention all the Muggles that were walking around. How MUCH did they forget? Was it like when Lockhart Obliviated himself and forgot who he was? How did this society survive THAT MANY PEOPLE just forgetting their entire lives all at once?

[@alexread6767]

They handwaved it as "only erasing recent bad memories" But yes it's a broken ability and people just ignore how plot-derailing it would be to just rewrite a character in universe

[@kefln]

I like the Newt character. The Hufflepuff zookeeper, with social issues, who has devoted his life to looking after the creatures that are ignored, exploited or endangered. But this movie wasn't about him, it had him in it, he kind of stumbled along in the story. There are so many ways to write a story were Newt and Grindelwald would/could come into conflict. You could even have a storyline about Newt trying to save Nagini's "soul", but having her turn "evil", join Grindelwald and maybe kill one of Newt's friends, maybe his brother. Which would leave an opening for the story to move into. A reason for Newt to come out if his shell. Instead you got this...

[@princessthyemis]

That's a good idea, by thunder!!! (I'm not a big fan of Newt, or how the guy portrays him [because he seems to have a single default facial expression] and even I was super annoyed by how little role he had in the story. He was barely in it at all!)

[@manniek8922]

princessthyemis The reason his facial reaction was like that is because he has autism. So he’s not as expressive facially

[@DafieYo]

yes!! and i actually like eddie redmayne, i don't know why really but i think jenny said once that he "tries really hard all the time" and.... yeah. but i think it didn't really make sense to have newt as a young man who falls in love but is also supposed to be a "nutty professor". i would have preferred to see him a bit older, maybe in his 40's where he's gone full out eccentric and crazy. also, wtf was nicolas flamel doing in this movie?

[@saddlerrye6725]

KenFolan, now that's a movie I'd like to watch! *-*

[@iridescentdemon]

I keep thinking about this, this and keeping colin farrell on would have saved this series

[@hermesd.5428]

I just keep imagining J.K. Rowling watching this video and going "shit, I didn't think about that"

[@jigyeshshah4533]

Cyl D. Or just laugh because she literally missed everything

[@brendy4546]

This movie seriously feels like it was originally three and a half hours long.

[@bryntendo]

She'd probably just tweet something to retcon it yet again and then claim it made sense all along but it was just seEeEeCrEtTt and omg wow this new information what a wonderful fully fleshed out nuanced universe! Hahaha

[@MajorOctofuss]

lol jk rowling doesnt listen to critisism. she would report this video before even watching it and block this channel

[@userfriendly2737]

J C It's going to go straight down The Lucas Brick Road.

[@creepycustard2383]

Drive by spoiler: *GRINDELWALD VAPES HIROSHIMA*

[@Lengfs]

hahaha lmao

[@charlie.on.youtube]

14:28: The fact that you were able to repeat The Backstory back to us after only a single viewing is mighty impressive.

[@dare2bawesome]

The original series of HP also had rape in it. Several of Harry's classmates try to drug Harry with love potion so he will date them which, while not amounting to much besides a comedic scene with Ron, was completely brushed aside by the narrative and not viewed as particularly heinous. We also later find out that Voldemort's mom drugged his dad so that he would marry her and have a child with her, and once she stops giving him the potions (in the hopes that he has genuinely grown to love her) he is disgusted and leaves. Also we learn that Credence's nanny is half-elf, and since JK has neglected to reveal any other kinds of elves in the HP universe we are left to assume that they're referring to house elves. And I'm pretty sure having sex with a creature who is, by nature, obligated to 1) obey your every order if you're their owner or 2) work to please and serve you even if they are a free elf, I'm pretty sure that one is rape too.

[@LemonChick]

If there were only house elves then surely they would just be elves. Not type identifier would be required.

[@moonscope5147]

@@LemonChick It's definitely possible that there are other types of elves but I always saw "house" as just a way of signifying their slavery in the same way that there were house slaves and field slaves but they were all the same slaves at the end of the day

[@oof-wi7hp]

honestly harry potter sneaked in so much creepy shit and then completely ignored it. i feel so cheated. hermione trapped rita skeeter as a bug for a year (HOW is that not torture) and hermione permanently physically scarred a girl's face because she sniched on their secret society in order of phoenix when the girl was just probably a kid who got scared of umbridge and the bullies she had deployed, harry is a victim of child abuse and is forced to go back to his abusers every year cos magic protection or whatever, snape is as abusive as a teacher can get AND we are supposed to read his obsession with lily as pure love, nobody in the wizarding world has any issue with keeping house elves as slaves (really??? no one????) and hermione is seen as a freak for protesting against their condition, voldermort's mother sexually assaulted his father, azkaban is a prison system based on consistent and eternal torture. like???? what the fuckity fuck

[@oof-wi7hp]

all the love potion shit is also basically magical date rape drugs;;;; i am losing my mind

[@avatareternal3204]

And there's the implication that Umbridge was raped by the centaurs in book 5.

[@TheChainIsForged]

This literally sounds like you are recapping a crazy dream you had the night before 🤣😂

[@thegenderfluidthing8660]

underrated

[@siddiqsmouse5004]

That's how all her videos are and I love them.

[@stoicsophist2274]

"And then Grindlewald turned to Newt and said 'You're a bad car' ".

[@msjkramey]

@@stoicsophist2274 oh no... you gave me flashbacks. That tangent legit terrified me lol. I'm so so serious

[@perdita2822]

The famous Dumbledore brothers: Albus, Aberforth and Another

[@siray3232]

*wheeze*

[@beckyginger3432]

Is this an Awoken reference?

[@berkleypearl2363]

Aurelius?? I think? Like Marcus Aurelius? I dunno it’s still stupid

[@sanip5465]

@@berkleypearl2363 r/whoosh

[@IrvingM]

JUST like the Skywalkers!

[@buzznovo4779]

As much as I want her to do Fantastic Beasts 3, I feel like her silence on this movie is the reaction it deserves.

[@dragonize9826]

"I had already accepted that snakes exist........and that sometimes they're really big..." I love this part the most

[@Smooth0vibrations]

the name is Bond, James Bond

[@skyty0]

My favorite bit of the movie is when the ministry of magic ask Newt Scamander, a Hufflepuff zookeeper of mystical animals, to commit murder and kill Credence in order to regain his ability to travel internationally. And then they get mad when he says no. And so does his brother. Also, after he declines it's revealed that they've already hired a magic assassin to kill credence in case Newt said no. This movie is buck wild.

[@hillsfr]

OMG, i can't wait for a good torrent of this movie to come out so i can see it free ninety nine

[@HyTricksyy]

I also adore the end of the movie where Credence the recently Dumbledored, who has never in his life even held a wand or known what spells are, blows up the side of a mountain with no training or incantation. This movie, more than any other in the HP series made me feel like magic was a plot moving device and that the explanations for everything was "a wizard did it".

[@etcadambrown]

HyTricksy ...and with a wand that didn’t choose him. I swear I read some 5000 or pages that seemed to suggest you had to learn spells/incantations to perform magic tricks and that those spells got more and more advanced as you progressed through your magical education.

[@jayjoe3716]

Didnt Harry also blew up something with a Wand that didnt choose him and he had no idea of Wands beforehand? He didnt do any incantation or any Magic trick he just used the Wand and the Wand responded. It probably isnt even a Wand suited for him and Grindlewald knows it. The big blowing of the mountain is clearly exaggerated since he is apparently a D.

[@blehdine]

Jajoe not only that, but Dumbledore was really the only wizard from that family that was exceptional. Like Aberforth was canonically average, we don’t know about Arianna, and then his parents (as far as I know) weren’t mentioned as very talented or powerful Dumbledore’s power was unique and exceptional, so why would credence being related to him suddenly explain his power/make us expect him to be exceptional?

[@pam8473]

“It turns out Buckbeak was a Filipino man named Buckbeak the whole time” 👌🏻😂

[@EvWuzhere]

Oh my god yes.

[@breadvelvet]

finally some representation

[@Rparhar91]

LMFAO

[@lou8537]

representation lolol

[@ruelprakash7696]

GOOD 1.

[@sydbi4211]

“What are the crimes of Grindelwald? They never told me!”

[@nehmann674]

Being Trans

[@mastermarkus5307]

@@nehmann674 He WAS a different person in the first movie...

[@CNWhatImSaiyan]

@@mastermarkus5307 And ANOTHER in the upcoming one

[@herrnenne]

That may be the point, because the next one was called The secrets of Dumbledore and well... They kinda never told us much about them either.

[@judeconnor-macintyre9874]

Tax fraud.

[@Advancedgod]

Also the state or name Indonesia did not yet exist before WW2, it would have been the Dutch East Indies. So the guy saying "from the jungles of Indoneeesiaa!!" must be a time traveler. Or JK Rowling did not bother to look up the history of Indonesia when she wrote that line.

[@Pranav-rp8wi]

All she had to do was look up a 1920s map.. what a lazy Karen she's become

[@msjkramey]

I didnt know that. That's really cool to know. I'm really bad with history and geography, so I didnt even notice

[@angelicau.4609]

Someone should've at least looked through her story notes and helped edit bc this is so lazy lol

[@eebertdeebert]

Not Indonesian but I live in Indonesia. Can confirm.

[@Nemesis_T-Type]

Give her a break dude, she didnt have google all the way back when she wrote Nagini's backstory on that napkin

[@emiliahann7713]

This just in: Dobby is a descendant of wizard Karl Marx, and he is and always was a symbol of the struggle faced by the proletariat under the crushing power of the bourgeoisie. Socks represent the inevitable class war.

[@taliakellegg5978]

He's also gay and black

[@hawks5999]

Sounds pretty transphobic tbh.

[@Endoptic]

Well, considering Marx literally did have an unpaid, captive "servant" girl he very probably knocked up...

[@walruslatte6080]

@@Endoptic it was his maid, she wasn't unpaid or a captive but I do take your point.

[@princessthyemis]

Lol!!!

[@thlover27]

The more I think about it, I've come to the conclusion that Fantastic Beasts should have been it's own stand alone movie. Just have Newt go travel the world, meet some creatures, and call it a day. He has nothing to do with Grindelwald. Then, make a completely separate series about Dumbledore and Grindelwald and maybe have it be like 3 movies max. Their childhood, the falling out, and then the big fight with Grindelwald defeated. This was my big issue with the first movie, when I heard of the title "Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them" I did not immediately think of Grindelwald because he isn't relevant to the plot line of beasts and where to find them. It would've been great to just showcase the magical world of HP, without all of the unnecessary drama and confusing (and often conflicting) plot lines. And the second movie, "The Crimes of Grindelwald" has nothing to with Newt, so don't put it under the same franchise name! It's like saying the original Harry Potter series, despite having the title say "Harry Potter" is really all about Bellatrix Lestrange and her journey into evil. It just doesn't make any sense. If JKR had just separated the movies, and called or named them for what they are actually about, then they wouldn't have ended up being the clickbait of the movie world.

[@Ilsagan]

This is such a great point and I think this issue is the fundamental problem with these movies . The story is split between two central stories and protagonists . Newt and his friends on one hand and Dumbledore credence and Grindelwald on the other . And the split between stories means the tension and character development is thin and the audience is not invested . That’s why the first film worked better. You got to invest in newt and his friends and their adventures . It would have been so interesting to have a film series charting Dumbledores childhood adventures and intertwining story with Grindelwald and see how Dumbledore became a great wizard and a separate story for newt . I feel as though this issue will only be worse in the coming films and either newt or Dumbledore will have to take a backseat

[@WestVirginia130]

this is literally what I thought the movies were supposed to be, one singular standalone movie that appealed to young audiences on the surface and older audiences for the nostalgia factor and only really expanded on the hp universe in terms of the cool magical animals that we never got to see in the main series

[@Sophie-ci8cw]

Or the main conflict could have been between Tina and Grindelwald, while Jacob and Newt go off and have exploring adventures where they discover magical creatures and fight a magical poaching ring. Newt and Tina have a falling out because Newt refuses to take part in the conflict. Then, you could bring them together when that LeStrange chick (who has been working with Tina) is killed by Grindelwald- there's a lot more backstory setting up that she and Newt were BFFs/highschool sweethearts, the killing somehow takes place in front of Newt and he chooses to enter the conflict to prevent more of his loved ones dying. The convoluted baby plot doesn't exist- Credence was just a wizard baby who's Mum died in a sinking boat and was left at a random orphanage in America (if he even has to be alive in this version at all). That way, you could have an extended universe thing going on, where you have whimsical magical exploring adventures with Newt and Jacob in one film series, and fighting Voldemort 2.0 with Tina in another. Then the story lines converge into a big avengers-style showdown. Also makes more movies and therefore money, which keeps the studio happy.

[@thlover27]

RafaGSD as far as Credence goes, I have this theory that he was supposed to die in the first film, and be in that movie only. But then the studio or someone saw how popular of a character Ezra Miller was, both on and off screen, so they brought him back for this movie thinking fans would be happy to see more of him. It wouldn’t be the first time that creators have altered their original story and kept characters around because of fan popularity.

[@Sophie-ci8cw]

Ever since this was announced I've wanted two things from the franchise: 1. Magical beast scientific expeditions of discovery, wonder and whimsy and 2. Wizard poachers. Think of all the implications- are the ingredients to certain spells actually from endangered creatures? Newt discovers a creature they thought was legendary is actually real and struggles with his conscience: does he leave the creature be, or publish it in his book for international acclaim, knowing that knowledge of it's existence could lead to it being hunted to extinction by wizard poachers/smugglers.

[@anzaia2164]

There is also an alarming lack of fantastic beasts in this movie. That's all I'm here for. The Harry Potter series gives a small glimpse into wizarding world flora and fauna, but I always felt like there's so much more to see. I don't want to see Grindelwald try and stop the holocaust, I don't want to know about Karma/Comma or Nagini the Human Woman. I just want to watch Newt, whomst I love dearly, interact with cool new animals in this universe. I'd honestly be more hyped about 100 minutes of Newt giving a room tour of his suitcase, than I'm hyped about a 3rd fantastic beasts movie. I'd be more hyped about a narrator voice reading wiki entries about new beasts, for that matter. Oh, wait, hold up, listen: Wizarding World Nature Documentary You could make it a series of shorts, and frame it as if it's a living portrait. Each one is a big painting portraying a scene from nature, and there could even be a portrait wizard explaining things. And then also, I please please want that Newt-case room tour.

[@mastermarkus5307]

I was never into Harry Potter; the lack of magical creatures being a focus at a time in my childhood when I was ALL ABOUT magical creatures made me pretty much lose interest in the movies after the third one. (And hell, I didn't even get that far when it came to the books because the writing in the first one is just... so weird.)

[@dillonohlemiller9027]

@@mastermarkus5307 the fact that this franchise is called “fantastic beasts” and the only movie that delivered on that title was the first one. False advertising

[@thewittyusername]

Your mistake was assuming she had actually thought about a wizarding world outside of the small glimpse you got. Outside of whimsy she has an extreme lack of creativity and probably doesn't have the ability to write what you are looking for.

[@DuelaDent52]

Say what you will about the first movie, but it was exactly what it said on the tin: there are fantastic beasts, and our heroes go find them.

[@literallyglados]

@@thewittyusername honestly it seems like JK rowling is incapable of thinking anything through beyond its first immediate consequence

[@danicajekic1595]

Let’s be real, the no homo necklace is just there because she didn’t want to explore their relationship and didn’t want to do something as extreme as the unbreakable vow

[@princessthyemis]

It seems like another version of the same thing.

[@danicajekic1595]

@@princessthyemis It is, but the difference is that if you break an unbreakable vow, you die. The no homo necklace gives Dumbledore a similar excuse not to confront Grindelwald in this movie, but when he inevitably decides to step up there won't be that threat of death. This is pure laziness on Rowling's part and I think she knows it. I would have vastly preferred to see either a higher stakes conflict where they try to figure out how to break an unbreakable vow, or hints of an emotionally charged conflict where Dumbledore comes to terms with his history with Grindelwald and the fact that he doesn't want to find out if he killed Ariana.

[@danicajekic1595]

Bipsty McBipste if she’s going to say that, she better include a flashback sex scene in the next movie.

[@bipstymcbipste5641]

Instead she is gonna reveal Voldemort was Transgender all along

[@themadthatter]

Not to mention it makes absolutely no sense in the existing narrative, because Grindelwald and Dumbledore DID duel (together with Aberforth) during the fight that killed Ariana. It's hardly likely they made the no homo necklace after that event.

[@RengokuGS]

This series is like Cinema Sins but if the person: 1. Watched the movie. 2. Dissected the motivations of the characters. 3. Didn't score count. 4. Is humorous, but doesn't use it as a shield from criticism. 5 Offers ways to improve the movie. 6. Occasionally offers relevant context to tangents.

[@SeraphimCramer]

The thing with Cinema Sins is that they're not looking to make actual criticisms/reviews of the movies. They're literally just nit-picking & cracking jokes for the sake of comedy. They say specifically "we're not critics. We're assholes."

[@RengokuGS]

@@SeraphimCramer They flip flop about that all the time.

[@iwanttobelieve2]

@@SeraphimCramer except that one of the movie sins guys said in his personal channel that they started cinemasins as a way to call out Hollywood

[@SeraphimCramer]

@@iwanttobelieve2 Call out doesn't mean they're actual critics meant to be taken seriously (even if that's how they started, it's obviously not what the channel's about now).

[@TheSoulHarvester]

guys, "they suck on purpose as a joke" isn't a refutation of any sort. It's just a defense of...their character? Did y'all not read point 4 of the OP?

[@GeorgeMichaelization]

My absolute favorite moment was when grindy’s black curtain is traveling around Paris and our characters are watching in awe and despair, and then....suddenly... the camera chooses to include this random redheaded woman in the frame, very clearly focusing on her...and my boyfriend and I looked at each other like...is this a cameo, who is this woman? Then we laughed because she randomly pops up again in the rally and we were like oh it was a character introduction. Then she dies. And its probably my favorite minor nonsensical thing i’ve seen this year

[@coobie4028]

KBurnside99 I haven’t seen the movie but that sounds hillarious, I’m glad I wasn’t in the theater when she died because I would’ve burst out laughing.

[@skarpetky4649]

I saw that too I was so confused like.. who is she

[@Yfighter2]

My impression was that it revealed that random people in the crowd were followers of Grindlewald, but I also think there were scenes cut from the movie because that was still odd...

[@kieranhair37]

Just a featured extra. They're in tons of movies, it just fleshes out the world a little and shows that you don't have to be a main character for the events of the world to have consequences for you.

[@bloodyneptune]

"He put her under a spell, married her, and non-consensually had a baby with her..So _that's_ what was missing from the magical world of Harry Potter" to be fair, it wasnt missing, its literally a rehash of Voldemorts origin story.

[@thomaslavitola7789]

@Bionick Toa wait so the story of voldemort is that he is a ra*e baby and because of that he cant love (i get there is magic involved but in my opinion that isnt better)

[@wajmgirl]

Only this time the victim was a different race so jkr should get back pats for diversifying

[@kirbyhatesincels917]

Rape. The word is rape. He raped her.

[@roronoalaw7772]

@@thomaslavitola7789 Voldemort not being able to love has nothing to do with him being a rape baby. That was just fan speculation nonsense. He can’t love because he’s a psychopath brought up in a non-loving environment and that’s it.

[@hazydaze9176]

Also what Queenie was doing to Jacob in this movie

[@kikml22]

The best part, for me, about the twist is that with the established timeline? There's literally no way credence is dumbledore's bother. Credence was born around 1908. Dumbledore's dad died in prison in 1891 and dumbledore's mom was killed by his sister in 1899

[@e22ddie46]

Rowling has regularly said she sucks at math lol. Although I didn't watch this movie so I'm completely confused by this breakdown. I literally don't know who credence is despite seeing the first one. All I really remember is there was a muggle, eddie redmayne, a flapper witch and some racist religious types

[@phank.s.4052]

@@e22ddie46 except this isn't math, it's just basic logic. Math would require calculations of some kind.

[@idek7438]

@@phank.s.4052 ​ Yeah I get sucking at math but this is literally stuff she herself created. And even if you don't remember it because it's been decades like, maybe check on Google before writing things in? Check McGonagall's birth year if you don't remember it before placing her at Hogwards 20 years before her birth? There's a very detailed fan wiki that could tell you these things in 10 seconds, it's not like she had to dig through her notes to find it.

[@poralitical]

No cannon is safe from her retconning at this point.

[@mythbuster43]

McGonagall is in this film too despite being born a decade later. Unless all these characters have been abusing the time turner, J.K. Rowling just doesn't do enough re-reads of her own work to prevent embarrassing plotholes like this.

[@presidenttheo565]

I want to note that the "glowing orb" was actually an overly edgy skull. He vaped out of a skull.

[@thebiggestcauldron]

@@Serioslump And had no nose. How edgy is that?

[@Satherian]

@@thebiggestcauldron Not edgy. He got rid of one of the most prominent edges on the body!

[@pretendtheresaname9213]

@@Serioslump HP started as middle grade series so it's fine, these movies actually take themselves seriously. Also mort is literally death in romance languages. Muerte (spanish), morte (italian and portuguese), moarte (romanian), mortem (latin). (Meanwhile french: décès)

[@placeholder1329]

@@pretendtheresaname9213 mort mean dead in french

[@badwulff]

@@placeholder1329 It also means death, "la mort"

[@HyperGnome]

Also, about the muggle into french. I thought it was kind of disrespectful to translators of JK Rowling to not use the word "moldu" which is the word we use in French. Come on, some people searched for a nice sounding appropriate term.

[@saddlerrye6725]

I think Hungarian translators are amazing as well. They translated the American "No-Mag" to "Magnix". I liked it a lot more

[@zimtkind2255]

That's such a good point!

[@youliahadzhidimova5260]

I don't know about the Hungarian translation, unfortunately. (But apparently they did good work.) But I have actually heard about the French translation (cause I studied French at some point) and how much care went into it. Including finding meaningful wordplay in French and even taking into consideration how well the translated words/names would fit the lip movement for dubbing the movies. It really is kind of disrespectful. Also, it's kind of lazy. And less interesting.

[@Tebo47]

@@saddlerrye6725 "Mag nix" translates in german to "doesn't like anything" XD

[@imaginekudryavka9485]

The Finnish translation was also wonderful, a lot of work was put into it. Muggle is "jästi" in Finnish, which kinda sounds like you're calling someone a moron. It's very fitting, they could've used that too.

[@sanctumsanctorum4130]

I recently saw Fantastic Beasts 2 and 3, so can now watch your video. Of all the crimes of Grindelwald, it was the crime of desperately trying to fit fantastic beasts into the Fantastic Beasts movies. Basically, this is the story of leaving school to get a job as a vet and then one day your old chemistry teacher rings you up because his serial killer ex-lover has escaped from jail.

[@ace_of_cakes]

As someone currently suffering through my last year of vet school, I can't decide if I'd prefer to help my high school chem teacher catch a serial killer or not. I'd probably get more sleep hunting a serial killer than I do on clinics

[@radarhead82]

Reverse Breaking Bad

[@homestuck_official]

Luke Skywalker: You killed my father! Darth Vader: No, you were switched with my actual son while on a spaceship that crashed, and he died, but you are actually Obi Wan's secret son! Luke: Vader: Luke: *What?*

[@lawrencefuller8841]

This changes things.

[@ElementalArcher]

So...Darth Vader really killed Luke's father.

[@Solanuma]

Eragon did this too now that i think about it

[@homestuck_official]

@@Solanuma jdkdkd wait what? The most vivid memory I have of Eragon is when they went down a well that erased memories but showed the readers what was in the well anyway, can you refresh my memory?

[@Solanuma]

@@homestuck_official i don't know what you mean but I'm thinking about how Eragon got compared to Star Wars. Like eragon is Luke, Brom the storyteller is Obi Wan and Morzan Darth Vader. At one point Eragon, in a dramatic twist finds out that he is Morzans son and is very devastated about it just to find out later that no his mother had an affair with Brom, our Obi Wan/mentor figure in that story and that he is his actual father. Needless to say that the story was a mess too

[@alizardinyourroom1361]

I see a lot of comments here that say "I would have preferred a movie about a cooky professor who travels around the world saving mythical creatures," and I 100% agree with that. I think a lot of movie studios nowadays think that you need big, epic battle scenes with big, epic stakes because "End Game made lots of money" but I honestly don't think that's true. Without good characters and without emotional investment in their lives, those bombastic scenes are just eye candy, and Viewers won't engage. The reason End Game was so successful was that people had 20+ movies to fall in love with the characters and their lives, so they are invested. What do you think people relate to more, a person with emotions and struggles or a big explosion and two dudes duking it out with wands.

[@Jackylification]

Alizarin I got crazy exited when Fantastic Beasts was first announced and thought it would be a single movie about just that. I liked to think they would have had some other one off stories. They could have done th Grindlewald story but why Newt is there or why it’s fantastic beasts I’ll never know

[@msjkramey]

@@Jackylification yeah, I would have loved a series of stand alone expanded universe movies that are just about how the authors of various textbooks got their expertise. Or another good one would be "The Half-Blood Prince" and explain what made Snape so good at potions while going against professors advice and how he came up with Sectum Sempra. We never get to hear about how spells are developed

[@baguettegott3409]

It's the curse of the prequels. I mean, remember when Lord of the Rings was the most epic thing of all time and won all the oscars and made all the money? So when they made the Hobbit, despite the mood/tone/scope of that story being so fundamentally different, they did everything in their power to make it equally epic, and thereby messed it up. And since Harry Potter was big and epic, the prequels also have to be at least as big and epic. No whacky, fun story about a weird guy travelling around and having small adventures (as it would have been fitting for Fantastic beasts, as well as the Hobbit) - that's not epic enough. I'm so tired of it.

[@Duiker36]

@@baguettegott3409 It's "accepted Hollywood wisdom" that franchise name recognition pulls in the cash. And maybe they're right; maybe they're wrong, but it's why everything gets rebooted constantly and why everything is an adaptation. And why everything has to be a sequel or prequel. That's the shit that gets greenlit and marketed. Pretty much the only other formula they have is star power: a famous director or actor headlines the gig. Which is how you get the rare blockbuster art film like Inception or Knives Out: it's some famous person's passion project and they put their name on the poster to produce it. This is why I've put money down for movies I'm not super-interested in: directors and actors can often be legitimate artists and fueling their star power means they have more leverage in any negotiations and creative conflicts. It can result in them being a diva, sure, but it also means they can tell an executive to fuck off if it doesn't make sense for the story. It's not a guarantee, not by a long shot, but IMO it's the best shot to getting decent art. Or Deadpool. Deadpool is also a result.

[@bennyton2560]

@@baguettegott3409 yeah but JK as a screenwriter is actually pretty shit

[@Deathbykittens11]

Fun fact for anyone watching this nowadays: the Crimes of Grindelwald poster actually has more characters on it than the Avengers: Endgame poster. I bet a not-insignificant number of people who went to see Avengers: Endgame could name every character on that poster. I would have a hard time naming half of the characters on the Grindelwald poster

[@Carols989]

"look, all the fans know grindelwald and dumbledore were smashing butts, so how about we bring back some of the actual moral and emotional conflict that the original harry potter was loved for and make this a deeper, more mature movie plus take an actual step towards better representation of gay people in media?" "nah thats dumb, how abt like, a magic bromance necklace?"

[@vaughn_erich]

That was never a thing. Dumbledore was said to be gay and infatuated with Grindelwald. We don’t know Grindelwald shared any feelings. I’m fairly certain it’s more like he used Dumbledore’s infatuation to his advantage to control him.

[@Carols989]

@@vaughn_erich good thing then that I never said it was canon, only that it COULD'VE BEEN made so, since most fans already assume that's what happened. And doesn't erase the fact they still went full no homo

[@MJ-zx7hn]

@@vaughn_erich Having Dumbledore be infatuated with Grindelwald and not wanting to fight is a better plot element than a magical necklace. The necklace doesn't even feel original because Harry and Voldemort couldn't kill each other for a similar reason.

[@vaughn_erich]

Matthew Walkup while it does seem like a plot convenience, jkr does that a lot in the hp books. Also, I would hope Dumbledore wouldn’t be letting people die cuz he’s moping about unrequited infatuation.

[@MJ-zx7hn]

@@vaughn_erich True. It might more sense for him not to fight if Grindelwald loved him back, but there really isn't a great way to justify his actions. At least not one that I see, but I'm not an accomplished writer who has made a billion dollars through their works, so maybe I'm missing something.

[@danb9447]

"No-mag" comes off more like the kind of clumsy abbreviations they use in the UK like choccy-biccies or telly. America would have found a way more offensive slang term for it

[@msjkramey]

Lol like the n word but for muggles? Also, where did the n word come from?

[@thatlycantomboy]

@@msjkramey probably from the Spanish word for black, “negro.” language is just derived from language, it’s context that matters

[@alexbennet4195]

@@thatlycantomboy And niger is Latin for black as well, so I think you can trace the roots to multiple languages

[@erraticonteuse]

I've said from the first time I heard the phrase No-maj, "that sounds like a British person trying to invent American slang". Like it is true that if Americans do abbreviate words like that, we stick with the first two syllables whereas British people are more likely to go with the first and last syllable (like with "reconnaissance" Americans say "recon" and British people say "recce"), but you will note that most differences in American and English slang tend to be either concepts that emerged after our independence, or words that British people stopped using after our independence (like "soccer"). There are no cases that I'm aware of where we had a perfectly good word then just stopped using it in favor of a dumbass contraction of a longer phrase. And a TON of American slang from the 20th century onwards comes from the black community. Especially in 1920s New York, the slang would have been rooted in the jazz scene. Can you imagine black folks saying No-maj? Cuz I can't.

[@Hoxeel]

@@alexbennet4195 Negro from Spanish itself, as Romance language, comes from Latin's "niger"

[@seekingchrist468]

I was so annoyed by that "magic says we can't fight hueheueheu" because I thought they would have a relationship similar to Magneto and Professor X. They disagree with each other's views but they still have strong feelings. But nooo Grindelwald had to be a completely unredeemable villain. I'm gonna watch X-Men

[@seekingchrist468]

@Burning Blaze I'm saying I wish they hadn't gone that direction and that he didn't just start off throwing cute lizards to their deaths and avadakadavra-ing babies. They made him unredeemable but I wish they hadn't. They made this guy a cartoon villain rather than an interesting one.

[@robot7485]

I agree with that

[@Rainsofchange]

@@seekingchrist468 How could anyone capable of and wanting to do the kinds of things Grindelwald had done possibly have all their marbles? They had to have lost a couple along the way. Why on earth should he be any more redeemable than Hitler on his wicked path? We already relate and sympathize with the wizarding community. Grindelwald in the movies is to a point where *everything* justifies the means the same way Voldemort was. If you aren't a wizard, you are lesser, and if you aren't useful to him, you are nothing. Honestly, his fearmongering and us-v-them rhetoric isn't far off from the typical in politics. Just like vague middle eastern terror threats, aliens, and zombie movies play off of our fears of immigration and race (us vs. them), these movies with big bad overlords looking to make sweeping, harsh changes to masses of people reflect another.

[@xNecroNvRDiesx]

The issue I have with that comparison is that in X-Men, mutants ARE oppressed. Right like, that's sorta the whole point. One leader is a violent revolutionary, sure, but he's doing it because his people are in clear danger and have been mistreated consistently in the past. Correct me if I'm wrong, and it's totally possible that I am, but aren't the wizards not really oppressed? Like, nobody even knows they exist, and they choose to keep it that way. So for Grindelwald to "rise up" and fight the muggles his line of thinking is "I deserve to rule over non magical humans just by virtue of my being born magical", whereas for Magneto it's more like "Your people have oppressed and abused mine for too long and we're not going to take it anymore." So making Magneto sympathetic makes sense, but making Grindelwald sympathetic would kind of like trying to make nazis sympathetic. It's a movement that's kind of inherently in the wrong, not a movement that is in the right but maybe going about it the wrong way. At least, that's how I see it. All that being said, I still think the movie was pretty bad and Grindelwald is a pretty bad villain, just not necessarily for that reason.

[@DaveintheMidWest]

@therandomdot - It would have made the story a lot more coherent if Dumbledore HAD told Newt about the blood pact. Then the niffler stealing the blood-pact-thingy at the end of the movie would have been an intentional plan from Newt rather than a happy coincidence.

[@remusb7069]

“What if they just stop making these movies in the middle of the story?” I actually have some funny news

[@jeanie7555]

Right? This aged WONDERFULLY. When I first was listening I thought she was making a joke... Until I realized this was posted 4 years ago

[@TPNsBiggestFan]

@@jeanie7555 DID THEY STOP????

[@moonkookie1505]

I found the scene where jacob loses memories very emotional, everyone separating and standing in the rain... It was so emotional. Undoing it at the very beginning of the second movie makes the first one look like a joke. Same with the credence's death... That's disappointing

[@msjkramey]

I prefer to just watch the first as a standalone film

[@moonkookie1505]

@@msjkramey good way to look at it

[@trollololol4601]

@@msjkramey I look at it as a fan made non canon movie series

[@moonkookie1505]

@@trollololol4601 another good way to look at it

[@potmki6601]

Yes. This. Completely agree

[@BriMR]

Fantastic Beasts 2: The Crimes of Whoever Let J. K. Rowling Write a Movie Script

[@thevoid99]

no it's fantastic beasts 2: j.k. rowling goes george lucas on her fans.

[@efoxkitsune9493]

I am so deeply saddened by the fact that your comment is completely accurate

[@lauren-ko7mr]

the whole movie would have been better if the emotional center was newt’s friendship with jacob and his love for his friend who doesnt remember him. find a way to get him to paris, newt and queenie are both trying to find creedence without revealing anything including themselves to jacob, but it kills them both bc they love him so much, then he does run into them and they have to dance around everything until slowly he starts to regain memories through the sheer force of his connection to these two people. he loves them and cant remember why so he keeps trying to remember and then he does. not through bullshit magic retcon, but all on his own.

[@kittymarie397]

If you rewrite this movie and put it on ao3 i will pay you real money

[@rebeccajang2405]

I literally got chills reading this because it's amazing and exactly what I would have wanted

[@caseygreyson4178]

lauren see but here’s what bothers me. We see Hermione use Obliviate on her parents, and later (outside of the book) she is able to track them down and return their memories. So although they used the venom on the No-Majs and not Obliviate, couldn’t they use the same spell on Jacob that Hermione used to return the memories? IMPORTANT EDIT: I just double checked myself, turns out Hermione did NOT use Obliviate on her parents, but instead a different/unnamed memory charm. But my point still stands. Obviously Hermione is a very skilled witch compared to the main cast of Fantastic Beasts, but if there is a charm that exists that was able to reverse the effects of her spell, surely that same spell (or a spell with a similar concept) could be used to reverse the effects of the venom on Jacob.

[@iM7SnaKe]

damn you must be a virgin.

[@iM7SnaKe]

@@rebeccajang2405 girls wants to make hp some romantic novel, damn. now i understand why that shit of 50 shades is a thing.

[@anonthe-third2367]

This is what I wish the Fantastic Beast movie was about. It opens with young Hagrid, freshly expelled and settling into life as the groundskeeper at Hogwarts. Without classes or friends, he has more free time to explore his interests in magical creatures. In doing so he opens a book called fantastic beasts and where to find them. It then goes back in time where Newt is narrating over the prologue to his book, interspersed with footage of him tending to his various creatures while a quill auto writes in the background. He then launches into listing various creatures and we hear about how he was informed of their location, him walking through different lands, sticking out like a sore thumb but oblivious and how he gains the animal's trust in order to catch them. All of this has no voice lines from young newt or anyone else, it's all voice over narration. It could have sections like "methods of capture" "creating a suitable habitat" "dietary needs" "precautions" "dos and donts" etc. Interspersed with Hagrid dealing with various creatures throughout the series. It then ends with an epilogue about respect and understanding of all creatures being important and encourages the reader to do so whenever possible. The shot closes on Hagrid preparing for his first day of teaching in the third movie, attaching ferrets to his person before shutting the door behind him and it zooms in on the book cover, worn with age.

[@melodyhaviland9393]

sounds amazing ! you’re a great writer

[@anonthe-third2367]

@@melodyhaviland9393 oh thank you!

[@drsnova7313]

I get the sentiment, and I love the framing device, but I think we both know that this would be an exceedingly boring movie almost no-one would watch.

[@anonthe-third2367]

@drsnova7313 you could have just read my comment and went on with your day, but instead you chose to reply negatively.

[@hunterwiench1064]

Not nearly enough cgi explosions! How do you expect to go far in Hollywood with work like this?!

[@diggle149]

Grindelwald's vaping habit is my favorite part of the movie

[@reddean4712]

diggle149 omg yes

[@scottski02]

Vape Nation

[@kinslayer202]

Voldemort: What is your name snake? Nagini: Hisss HIssss HIIISSsss hiss Voldemort: Ah, I see, your name is Nagini Nagini telling Voldemort her real name is like Chewbacca telling Han his name

[@11tw48]

I wish Chewbacca telling Han his name was like: *Makes the noise Chewbacca* Translation in subtitles at the bottom: My name is Acca. So have the "Chew b-" bit at the start just be standard vocabulary in Kashyyk that Han didn't interpret correctly. I know this joke sounds really slow but having it play out in audio and visuals would be very quick and funny.

[@elijahwatson3474]

It establishes the Wookie language can be translated before Solo. Chewbacca appear in a clone Wars episode. The script said “Chewbacca, Son of” forgot his father name, so he speak more older dialect.

[@PejmanMan]

Parseltongue

[@SacredDaturaa]

Come to think of it, can "Chewbacca" even be pronounced by the Wookiee mouth? Or is "Chewbacca" the SW equivalent of a slave name that Han just calls him because he can't pronounce Chewie's actual name.

[@JustAskMeTV101]

@@SacredDaturaa No it's a real wookie name. They have like a whole system where all wookie names consist of a prefix and a suffix and both halves mean something. 'Chewbacca' means something like 'noble ally'/'honorable friend'

[@bellaaprm]

I thought Grindelwald was a handsome and daydreaming young man, as described in the HP book. but why johnny depp with a moustache?

[@redbeaniechild4117]

Well in Harry Potter: Deathly Hallows, one of the flashback shows him as a young and handsome guy. I think that, like with Voldemort, the 'evil' things he's done, as well as his thirst for power, magically turned him into that. But honestly I don't fucking know.

[@angiem6674]

Red Beanie Child I love how you compared Johnny Depp with a mustache to Voldemort

[@bellaaprm]

@@redbeaniechild4117 lol I think you're right, but he still got his nose 😂

[@funkoxen]

you try telling johnny depp he's not a handsome young man. those smart phones can take your eye out.

[@saras.4618]

Because JKR is kinda old, and back at the beginning of his career Johnny Depp was considered pretty hot, and not such a violent creep. (Like Edward Scissorhands and stuff)

[@erraticonteuse]

3:53 I'm calling it now: the absolute final plot twist about Credence's identity as that he's going to be Penelope Clearwater's grandfather, so he will literally be Credence Clearwater.

[@armelior4610]

And then he dies again and gets resurrected again of course

[@arareanddifferenttune3130]

@@armelior4610 quite literally the Credence Clearwater Revival 😂

[@alexread6767]

​@@arareanddifferenttune3130ahhh thank you. I didn't get the joke in the video since I didn't know it was a band

[@thewhatness]

Did the movie seriously use actual Hitler as a justification for the rise of Wizard Hitler? C'mon, J.K.

[@ErinTheFennec]

To be honest, I think that was a good way for Grindelwald to explain his point, if he makes muggles look barbaric then it helps him assert that the supposedly more peaceful wizards and witches should be in charge to lead the muggles into being better people, which essentially works to construct a narrative that people who normally wouldn't follow "Wizard Hitler" might be more inclined to follow. Essentially it's a show of how bad the muggles are that would shock people into joining a side that is more evil than they would ever realise until it's too late.

[@thewhatness]

@@ErinTheFennec I get the intention, but I just feel the execution doesn't land well. Suppose that stems mostly from being an outside audience member that has any passing understanding of world history, such that it feels contradictory to provide a solution to Hitler's barbarism...with more barbarism. Granted, the characters in the movie don't have that kind of historical insight, as the events haven't happened yet, but it just feels really paradoxical to suggest that the solution to genocide and oppression is the very same thing, just for Muggles.

[@ErinTheFennec]

@@thewhatness Oh believe me, I agree it could have been done better, the way he explained his point was great, but it might have been more sensible with a reminder of WW1 or any other horrific historical event that had happened in recent enough history before that point rather than try to use an event that hadn't taken place yet when it kinda contradicts how virtually all uses of precognition in the universe of the books and films seems to suggest that prophecy is the most common type, so it felt awkward that he could somewhat accurately show images of what was to come. HOWEVER the way Grindelwald acts in this movie feels like a clear attempt to get people on side, he's choosing to hide his plans for genocide and oppression as those parts don't suit his narrative in the situation, when he's got enough followers he can essentially force them to do his bidding whether they like it or not. He's acting in a way that suggests fighting Hitler's barbarism with more civilised means, when his real intention is to fight for his own goals with similar barbarism to Hitlers.

[@graysonfost8679]

Keep in mind Grindlewald was only created because people kept asking Rowling why the wizards didn’t stop hitler, and the best she could come up with was “they were busy with wizard hitler”

[@BriarMB13]

He literally vaped so hard that ww2 and the atomic bomb appeared. I would be horrified if some douchebag philosophy student from my Thursday classes did that in our lecture hall too. It's so lazy and so dumb I wanna pull my hair out.

[@megpaini3378]

'Credence, the guy from the first movie, he's alive and we really need you to go get him for something.' WOW JK Rowlings really outdone herself 😍

[@n00bygam3r]

For the record, in Australia we call them 'Muggos'

[@jakubmike5657]

Do you know how they call muggles in France? Le muggles.

[@isabella-8959]

Best comment

[@ColdHawk]

Saw a mob of muggo’s at Macca’s

[@CruelestChris]

That's bloody weird mate, I'd have called them Chuzz-Wuzzlers.

[@Abdega]

I bet there’s a Wizarding band called “Uggo Muggos”

[@marinabarcellos9859]

I just realized something, the whole "Grindelwald and Dumbledore can't fight each other bc magic necklace" is a plot hole according to lore. The whole reason Dumbledore's sister died is because him, Aberforth and Grindelwald got into a huge three-way wand duel. I normally don't give a fuck about plot holes, but this is a key piece of Dumbledore's backstory??? Also it's very dumb, like, if you're gonna contradict your characters established backstory at least do it in the name of something interesting.

[@hammadahmed8690]

Also, Dumbledore didnt want to fight him and then see which wand was the reason for the spell that killed his sister. The magic necklace is just a plot device to shoehorn Newt into the story and postpone the duel until the 5th film.

[@Marigold11037]

I think maybe it isn't a "they cannot fight each other" deal but more of a "the spells will deflect and be unable to hit/harm one another" So maybe when Grindewald and Aberforth were fighting, Grindewald tried to hurt/kill Aberforth and Dumbledore stepped in, but the spell deflected so they both started trying to harm each other, then maybe a spell deflected and hit his sister but Albus doesn't know whether it was his spell or Grindewalds? I don't mean to defend the writing btw, the writing for both movies sadly sucked, but I think if the blood pact worked this way it would be quite interesting

[@goosegas2087]

So... Plot holes only matter when they're the back stories of important people?

[@marinabarcellos9859]

@@goosegas2087 not really? They matter when they contradict key aspects of any characters backstory

[@goosegas2087]

@@marinabarcellos9859 So even though a plot serves to develop characters all of a sudden, it doesn't matter?

[@wessicajalford]

I just thought it was so ridiculous that Gindlewald fooled the authorities with some kind of polyjuice potion or shapeshifting spell... like thats so basic, how did they not have revealing spells or something for this kind of thing?

[@giuliacasetta4387]

Exactly! And considering that in the previous film he used polyjuice to impersonate the head auror, the fact that they didn't make regular checks just doesn't make sense

[@yumi25390]

Like there was that waterfall in Gringotts that ruined Hermione's polyjuice potion in Deathly Hallows. You're telling me there isn't anything else like that?

[@wessicajalford]

Exactly!! @@yumi25390

[@emilycrowley2717]

Well, in Harry Potter, Bartemius Crouch used polyjuice potion to make his dying wife look like his son, Barty Crouch Jr., so that she could take Barty Jr.'s place in Azkaban. So I didn't necessarily think it was ridiculous. I do think, however, that upon such a dangerous event taking place, they would have (or should have) taken higher security measures in the future in order to prevent that from happening. So because Grindelwald essentially did the same thing as Barty... You'd think they'd have that sort of security measure from having learned from the past. But I guess if you don't learn from history, it's doomed to repeat itself lol! I dunno. The whole movie was crap to me...

[@elinobenjamin_val]

I thought the idea was that Grindelwald swapped places with his lackey and then proceeded to take out all the escort security.

[@noahkarpinski1824]

Why would Americans have a different word for muggle? If you look at the words that British English and American English disagree on, most of them either were created or at least came to popularity after the revolutionary war (lift/elevator, loft/apartment ect) or are just slang terms. Muggles are constantly interacting with wizards and have for a long time, so when wizards came to America they should have already been using this word. Itd be like when America got its independence they just decided to start calling birds "flappers".

[@atomicdancer]

Just bad writing. If I ever meet JK Rowling, I'll flip her the flapper 🖕

[@fruitygarlic3601]

And it seems so unlikely that American and British wizard culture would differ so much outside of language, because the wizards have the means to communicate and spend time together across continents in the pre-internet age.

[@PineappleLiar]

It an attempt to try and recreate the kind of whimsical naming conventions from the original series in order to come up with a bunch of fun words to use during the series. Only she lacks a base understanding of American naming conventions, much less 20s American naming conventions, and what we end up with feels like a strange, knockoff version of what terms would actually be used in that time and place.

[@cometmoon4485]

I'm sure there are some pre- revolutionary word differences. What about "pavement" vs "sidewalk", or "nan" vs "grandma"?

[@noahkarpinski1824]

@@cometmoon4485 Sidewalk and pavement are different things (at least where I live) and not a british/american thing and "nan" is a shortened version of "nana" which is borrowed from the Spanish. Language borrowing is typically a localized occurence, since it happens when people speaking different languages are constantly mixing with each other. Also while the British might use pavement and sidewalk differently from each other now, the cultural understanding of the words would have likely changed when automobiles become commonplace, since it would have caused a shift in how we view walking/vehicle places

[@SnowCatKroe]

The No-Homo necklace was both hilarious and exceptionally disappointing when I watched it. I was really excited that there was going to be this inability to fight because of leftover feelings on Dumbledore's side, they didn't even have to make it explicit to avoid people getting salty over it, but they had to make sure to throw in like "NO HOMO GUYS, THEY MADE A NECKLACE, IT'S NOT GAY EVEN THOUGH J.K. HAS LONG SAID HE WAS GAY. NOT GAY."

[@marvelousTUD]

bubblineofficial Ikr? Such a wasted opportunity. Rowling loves to front like she’s some champion for diversity, but it’s pretty clear that she’s more interested in tokenism, stereotypes, and a lack of interesting representation. Not having A real emotional connection between Dumbledore and Grindelwald in this movie was a big mistake narratively.

[@Floral_Green]

Imagine being this morally sanctimonious over signalling for something as forced and inorganic as the ever-holy ‘diversity and equality’. What a pitiful hill to die on. It’s alright pal, it’s not your fault that you and many like you are easily swayed by social pressures, all while lacking the capacity to properly evaluate your value structure or logical presumptions.

[@cosmodewit]

@@Floral_Green I hate it when people do this on KZbin, but here we go anyway: r/iamverysmart.

[@SpiderRealm]

@@Floral_Green Holy fuck, do you just have a thesaurus sitting next to you?

[@MDArts666]

@@Floral_Green JKR specifically said that Dumbledore was gay and alluded to them being a couple. How is it wrong or stupid to want her to prove it lmao. If anyone is forcing diversity into things it's JK herself since she said the character was gay with no canon payoff. or in stupeed nornal speek, "not gay enuff"

[@Thehouseoffail]

Hey, remember to that time JK said that Dumbledore didn't have a romance because no one wants to see an elderly person kiss. Then she made a movie with young Dumbledore and then didn't have him in a romance. And he's her only alleged lgbtq character. alleged because it's not really in the cannon at all? And maybe that's by design?

[@plzleavemealone9660]

Bro, the romance between the two was before the movie happened and they are literally enemies right now. Like, are they supposed to randomly kiss in between a fight or something??

[@Thehouseoffail]

@@plzleavemealone9660 Uh huh.... remember all those flashbacks to before those movies during both the first and second films? Seems weird that a film series clearly leading up to the duel between two alleged former lovers does literally nothing to explore how difficult that is for the both of them. It's almost like JK loves to claim representation but hates to actually do it. Because that behavior has made her millions of dollars.

[@WildSableye]

@@Thehouseoffail He literally calls Grindelwald "closer than a brother" like how much more sloppily can you dance around the fact that he was his boyfriend skjhksjhsk

[@mastermarkus5307]

@@Thehouseoffail Definitely. Lovers-to-enemies is actually an interesting dynamic that you don't see a whole lot, so it's not like she would be bereft of drama to write a narrative around.

[@Thehouseoffail]

@@mastermarkus5307 well, there's going to me a third film soon. So, we are going to get a chance to see if she wants to put her money where her mouth us.