Jerma Reading Questionable Chat Messages #6

Jerma, no one said that
/ jerma985
0:00 - Cocaine
0:25 - Plastic
0:35 - Taco Bell Order
1:15 - Didn't Say Yes
2:14 - Heaven
2:49 - Luigi Fryer
3:09 - Ben Franklin
4:33 - Wall D**k
5:09 - Vegan Furry
6:12 - Might Crash Xbox
7:23 - Grandma's Ashes
8:00 - Banned Grandma
8:15 - In Sync Breathing
9:26 - I Hate
10:30 - MGSV
10:57 - Clothing Iron
11:22 - Chili's Table
11:36 - Groomed Dog
11:56 - Rectangular Forehead
12:06 - Pacman
12:15 - Jeremy
12:25 - Chin Extensions
12:46 - Lemons
12:58 - Plastic Surgery
13:15 - Crooked
13:27 - Santa
14:44 - Chess ELO
15:08 - Turkey Garage
15:19 - Politician
15:38 - Greek
16:16 - What You Really Do
16:37 - Sing For Family
17:27 - Disney Infinity
17:59 - Face Zoom
18:28 - Mucus
19:10 - Horse Dodge

[@johncrops]

Hey hope you're all having a fantastic day :)

[@0tterhead]

You're a legend john, ty

[@artratengo3685]

I was lmfao my ass off for 10 straight minutes when he did the growl live on stream

[@order60000000000]

Amazing editing as ever, king!

[@Top_Lad]

You too John, thank you for the new video, appreciate the work!

[@pockpock6382]

[@MundaneMinutes]

My favorite “reading chat message” moment is when he was playing breath of the wild and he asked someone to be timed out for a message he completely invented in his mind while chat was in emote only mode

[@average5206]

Bro I need this clip

[@aymangani5416]

Sauce?

[@MundaneMinutes]

@@aymangani5416 look at the reply

[@not_optikk]

@@MundaneMinutes reply doesn't show for me, hidden i guess?

[@lee_wiinter962]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/bneyg2NtYt9lfM0 you're welcome :)

[@somerandomdude6962]

I love when Jerma takes a completely normal chat message and accidentally sees it through his eldritch third and fourth eyes, distorting something like "Very funny" into "Vegan furry"

[@brightblackhole2442]

he forgot his ESO 137-001 glasses! so silly of him

[@ashtimbo]

jerma what do you think about baseball "Did you just ask me if I like fondling balls?? what?"

[@vizzy61]

printing out this comment & framing it on my wall

[@fukkthisnewupdate8882]

"This is what happens when poop wine gets in your veins" "Eat a McDick"

[@Death-gj2dn]

I have adhd and I know a bunch of people with adhd and 100% that’s an adhd thing Wildly misreading things (even to a degree where the words/phrases don’t resemble each other at all) is something I do all the time. It’s essentially your brain speedrunning reading and missing crucial details like what you just read

[@nicebike5039]

the way he just stops reading the "dick on the wall" message and instantly falls into a trance is one of the greatest things i have ever had the pleasure of witnessing live

[@unnaturallynatural8885]

that one is so funny because he was battling the usual advances chat does when he turns on the camera like "ooooh you look computer generated!! ohhh you're so weird looking" and doing pretty well too until the ethereal ghost dick intervention completely derailed him

[@SeedyZ]

Someone call Dante, that dick on the wall was Divine Comedy

[@bmprimer7809]

i love how he was talking about his height being under 3 feet then just *DICK ON THE WALL*

[@AcmeMonkeyCompany]

I don't give chef's kisses out very often, but seeing that live was indeed _chef's kiss_

[@user-yv6xw7ns3o]

Wtf was that sun shining on the wall? lmao

[@user-lh7mt7zo7l]

I can't even begin to imagine the number of times you've had to search for chat messages that don't actually exist.

[@johncrops]

Yeah that gets a little irritating sometimes ngl lol

[@troyhadge8300]

'No one said that' - me, who said that

[@darkjanggo]

@sulfur one vegan furry

[@chosenundead5259]

@@sulfurone8952 he did it once when the whole chat was in emote only

[@erykaldo2l270]

​@@sulfurone895212 hour long video

[@ultimatequeenofdeath666]

i like how he's in more disbelief over someone calling him very funny, than over someone calling him a vegan furry

[@altrivotzck6565]

No, he can't believe he misread it as that, you dingus.

[@ultimatequeenofdeath666]

⁠​⁠​⁠@@altrivotzck6565who are you? where am i?

[@moosesues8887]

@@altrivotzck6565who are you? Where am I?

[@chiquikris171]

​@@altrivotzck6565Who Are You? Where Am I?

[@ultimatequeenofdeath666]

@@altrivotzck6565 WHO ARE ALL YOU PROPLE

[@skinnysnorlax1876]

I love his argument for not reading "BEN IS IN HELL" is "I'm not gonna manifest that, implying he can not only damn souls, but can also do it retroactively across time and space

[@yakketyyak6414]

Idk why but the response “can you relax??” to “what’s cocaine like?” is so funny

[@Kai4life4]

Realizing that the messages about being in sync with jerma's breathing were all from the same guy was such a haunting experience even moreso because the name change implies that they got banned and used an alt it's like when you rewatch a movie and realize the villain was in the background at the start

[@Journey_Awaits]

It would be funnier if everyone grouped up on the idea

[@gamerdude3465]

I love how Jerma's audience constantly talks about how weird and strange he is and then these videos show that the audience is actually weirder.

[@nialfrazier7729]

Chat is just as insane as he is

[@gamerdude3465]

@@nialfrazier7729 They're meant for each other.

[@stefperb9531]

It's all just an echo Chamber

[@nialfrazier7729]

@@stefperb9531 monkey see monkey do

[@Gooberdabs]

@@stefperb9531yeah fr, when Jeremy goes on racist and sexist and homophobic tirades, it freaks me out. but seeing the influence this man has on current united state’s politics makes me want to sob my eyes out. deplorable human

[@kaizerdeath12]

Even knowing they're predators, as a human, Jerma really would fall victim to an anglerfish just because his synapses say "oh pretty light" like he does with "message has been timed out"

[@Ezekiel_Allium]

Loving the implications here about the nightbot

[@keaton5101]

a lot of the other messages he read were tagging him directly too. it clearly works

[@chuckbatmangaming]

This is a jerma-tier wacky analogy I love it

[@Trebolt]

The plastic clip is such a perfect example of why Jerma is so good. Reads a random message from chat and without missing a beat he *immediately* thinks up a gag playing off of it.

[@rattle_me_bones]

I didn't really laugh at it but I could respect it as a good bit - my brain is just too rotted haha

[@Infestedhobo1]

Can I just say, props to VRJosh for figuring out vegan furry = very funny

[@antimitsu]

XD

[@Tuchpi]

I think he just went back on the vod

[@jeanmouloude]

Can you imagine being josh and thinking like ”wtf is he talking about, NO ONE SAID THAT”

[@sverenagain]

i find it really funny that theres just no end in sight to him reading these insane messages. like he just wont stop

[@matthewzaloudek]

He's like a stand-up comedian with access to a live feed of his audience's thoughts

[@LordVader1094]

Why would he? It's endlessly entertaining

[@ohgodohnothebees]

​@@matthewzaloudekterrifying

[@TheFreakyFish251]

@@LordVader1094Nice profile picture. Memento mori

[@gnarsly]

an addiction

[@montanarose4622]

Dick On The Wall has got to be one of the most powerful stream moments in recent history. The comedic trail off, watching him go through all the stages of grief, the penis rocket blasting off across the wall slowly through the rest of the stream. Modern art.

[@trackernivrig]

Most streamers use nightbot to get rid of bad comments but Jerma just uses it as a highlight reel

[@vooshmoozik6185]

and i like him for that, even though highlight channels are not run by him

[@fireballftw-]

I love how for the Ben Franklin message, he insists he's not gonna read it, but you know he will since it hasn't popped up on screen yet. Doomed by the narrative.

[@makotqwv]

dramatic irony

[@ComradeFoxx]

Also being so stubborn that Benjamin Franklin is not in hell. When Franklin was an active participant in the slave trade and was so racist he thought Germans were swarthy

[@Potacintvervs]

@@ComradeFoxx hey slavery is not condemned by the Bible, I don't see why he would be damned for doing so. What I could see as being bad is the Founding Father's propensity for deism rather than theism.

[@TheFreakyFish251]

@@ComradeFoxxAlso he committed adultery

[@LocseryuOfficial]

@@Potacintvervs mean, if you want to get very techinal, he stole the slaves from their home country and took them to America. Which is a violation of a commandment

[@ElectronIsABadTuber]

nightbot timing you out is a better way to have a "one guy moment" than donating actual money

[@4rumani]

jerma really doesn't need donations anymore

[@ponponpatapon9670]

@@4rumani I DO NOT CARE. I WILL GIVE THIS RANDOM PERSON MONEY FOR MAKING ME GO HEHE

[@Mi_mcmuffin]

@@ponponpatapon9670the economy if it was epic

[@asare240]

joobtown and his obsession with Jerma's breathing rhythm is the type of content i love to see.

[@Sparess]

Only the real ones know Joob

[@redphantom6643]

He even subscribed after his first appearance!

[@chainex_1337]

@@Sparessjoob as well as the mf that’s obsessed with drinking milk, which is another favorite recurring gag of mine

[@snarkycommenthere9027]

I love how he just starts laughing to himself. like it sounds like he's just genuinely gone insane. but then he reads out the stupidest message ever

[@kaitlin9288]

The buildup during the holiday furniture clip got me

[@bmo14lax]

​@@kaitlin9288its so good

[@dylanchilders]

Its so funny because he’s a genuinely fine looking guy but everyone acts like he’s some lovecraftian abomination 💀

[@Chillwave6]

All these memes about the meat grinder and "no chat I'm not gonna- *does the thing chat wanted anyway*" makes people see him as this insane guy and obviously with insanity the people have two main reactions: Treat them like an abomination or idolise them. this chat is definitely the abomination enthusiasts.

[@NateTheGreat368]

That thing isn't human and you're falling for it's dirty tomfoolery.

[@jaggidfire]

He's a lovecraftian protagonist after the book ends.

[@cardboard2night]

Honestly, when I first heard of him (through memes) I thought he was some AI generated streamer, made for memes by tumblr or reddit... How silly. In truth he's an ancient god awoken in as a shared memory so to deceive humanity that he's just a human being like the rest of us 👁️

[@eisenmann_d]

​@@Chillwave6 I'd say both

[@deftrascal1626]

"Soup is good food" is the funniest tagline for any brand hands down, it makes it sound like Campbell's is some kind of government psyop to try and trick ppl into thinking soup is good

[@renchikun]

It's the Dead Kennedys song

[@radRadiolarian]

his weird admiration for ben franklin is so fucking funny

[@paul-nj1ig]

wasnt Ben just an all around asshole

[@Adam-yo3bt]

He said sorry for reading someone's comment that said he was in hell haha

[@toxiccorgi2108]

I admire the guy for his contributions to American history, but.... he did kind of own slaves which is a terrible thing.

[@Adam-yo3bt]

@@toxiccorgi2108 yeah his french whore sex slaves haha

[@jamiesnack]

@@toxiccorgi2108 we shouldnt hold people of the past to the standards of today unfortunately people do use that as an excuse to venerate confederates though

[@flanneryclosner913]

john crops i worship the ground you walk on

[@johncrops]

A little scary, but thank you

[@izzybelle]

adoring fan moment

[@EddieBurke]

These are the types of comments I expect from Jermamites

[@ohmeganerd]

As you should

[@kean4218]

Average jerma fan

[@zu7709]

vegan furry is going to kill me how did he mess up this bad

[@BierBart12]

He does exude that vegan furry energy

[@elliot_rat]

how does dyslexia get that bad

[@sergeykogin6474]

I had a dream that I was organising Jerma’s birthday party and as a prank I put the wrong age in the candles (off by one year), to see if he would speak up or just meekly accept it

[@masterofthetear8138]

what was his reaction

[@thisname5ucks]

WELL WHAT DID HE DO?!?!?!

[@ishitaswaroop8779]

what did he do?

[@sergeykogin6474]

@@thisname5ucks he accepted it without saying anything

[@Chillerll]

@@sergeykogin6474typical Jerma

[@TabooGroundhog]

12:17 I love this one, he sounds so offended. It’s like he was going through a scrapbook with his kid and they pointed at a picture of him and said “who’s that gross old guy?”

[@pokabrows]

In case anyone missed the Ben Franklin is in hell stream we then begged for a poll and we voted that Ben Franklin was in hell. It was great

[@ashamefulgamer1578]

The face he does when he reads "Dick on wall" looks like he thinks his nightmare is actually happening.

[@FeenieVonKarma]

"why is your face crooked" "idk ASK GOD OK" honestly a pretty awesome off the cuff response lmao

[@waterbottle6644]

I saw the upload and started giggling and skipping like a school girl. Straight up fr put my hands together, rapidly clapped my fingers together, and went "hihihihihi". Great vid, these are incredible moments. Thank you for your hard work

[@katzea.a7880]

Cartoon girl andy

[@skylarsaysstuff]

Me

[@aywhole]

osaka

[@jasonmartin7968]

why is joob so obsessed with being in sync with jerma’s breathing & why did he need to make an alt to let jerma know. what did he do

[@skislope4218]

OCD Andy

[@urbainleverrier1]

It's so wholesome because I relate to it to a spiritual level and I believe a lot of people do too

[@Maelthorn1337]

​@@urbainleverrier1What, why?

[@urbainleverrier1]

@@Maelthorn1337 who doesn't want to be in sync with jrm's breathing??? Crazy people. That's who. /j

[@MickMod]

I get it but I can't explain it sadly. IYKYK I guess

[@nichsia]

I love how a lot of times, Jerma will read a chat message and go "what're you talking about?" and then in this compilation, we have the rare, opposite response of "I know EXACTLY what you're talking about."

[@reeserupprecht3818]

I love how he stops on a dime to read the comment at 4:46. It just completely derails whatever he was doing before

[@scatterbraindonor]

Hell yes!!! Thank you John Crops, I will devour this until there's nothing but bone! Bless you!

[@watpronouncedwotlikeabrit]

that implies its meat, how does it taste

[@FluffyFaven]

@@watpronouncedwotlikeabrit what if it's just skin wrapped on skeleton though

[@ohsqueep]

keeping this compliment in my back pocket from now on

[@lavans5721]

​@@watpronouncedwotlikeabrit fresh from Jerma's refrigerator.

[@nakaeri1361]

​@@watpronouncedwotlikeabrittastes like meat

[@-KippeCatapus-]

He's like asmr for traumatized zoomers lol

[@Kay-cp8tg]

This is the most accurate comment made about Jerma ever made

[@ultimatequeenofdeath666]

i love how in the soup clip you can see his smile disappear immediately

[@clyde-or-monty]

him misreading “very funny” as “vegan furry” KILLED ME

[@Barquevious_Jackson]

3:30 - The way Jerma gets actually upset at the idea of Ben Franklin going to hell is so adorable to me. It's like someone told him that Santa isn't real but he has the authority of an adult and can send you to time out. And the way he's scared of "manifesting it" as if his words will make Hell real or damn Ben to it is so quaint and charming. Like he's a patriot form 1780's Boston and he meet Ben once and was floored.

[@Nova-vk5qb]

How do you know hell isn't real?

[@deepechoslntwntr]

​@Nova-vk5qb it really is real, it's called Jerma's chat

[@crvot]

​@@Nova-vk5qb i sent people to investigate and they didnt come back and tell me what its like. they are still looking for it, im losing hope they will find it at this point

[@lovesick_loser]

i like how you go through the effort to include the messages, partly for giving credit to these faceless chatters, and also because its funny seeing just HOW WRONG he reads some of them, just to go on a rant

[@seignee]

Thank you so much for bringing these back. Watching these compilations is legitimately the reason why i got into jerma TwT I watched the AA EE OO clip and got hooked with your compilations. i love you man, youre the best. p.s. over the garden wall rules

[@johncrops]

Hey I'm glad you like the videos and glad it was your introduction to Jerma :) Over the Garden Wall does indeed rule

[@JermaStreamArchive]

I've been waiting for this video for SO long

[@watpronouncedwotlikeabrit]

Jerma Stream Archive comment jermaVenus

[@Chillerll]

It’s Jerma !

[@kraktjoetv]

i laughed way harder than i should have at jerma rubbing his face and squeaking after the "plastic" message

[@comicalsansms8238]

Our hunger is insatiable and you continue to provide, one of the clips channels ever

[@hotmommy]

"BEN FRANKLIN IS IN HELL" killed me 😂 also well done for editing it like this and not giving the joke away before Jerma read it out

[@Checkmate___]

When he dies im gonna be first in line to perform the autopsy because theres simply no way this is a real human being

[@adjectiveollie]

minsconstruing “very funny” as “vegan furry” like a freudian slip and then immediately taking a massive bite out of a cupcake is the funniest fucking thing i’ve ever seen

[@mmagpiez]

i love when jerma reads a comment about how he looks and it’s so painfully accurate and he tries so hard to act like it’s soooo strange and out of the blue but he starts laughing a little and you know he knows that it’s true too 😭

[@MaxxxWellz]

I really hope that dude who asked about the Taco Bell order was at the order intercom and used Jermas order live with his stream.

[@snowyborne]

the horse has a dodge clip is my favorite of all time. he goes FERAL

[@mordrens]

9:16 the fact that it’s the same guy +2

[@thomassomeone4868]

“Sing please my whole family is here” I’m fucking crying idk why

[@metashrew]

huge respect for jerma cause he has to deal with this insanity almost daily. It must be crazy to be on the receiving end of some of these

[@Chillerll]

I like to think he cries after every stream

[@imuttx]

that’s how it’s like being my friend

[@danielthehuman107]

The guy adding in "I hate this chair" was just having a bad day 🤣

[@ood9700]

My favourite message of mine that he’s read was telling him that he looked like he was 10 years old or something in his bright orange shirt while he was playing Multiversus, he got a look on his face, and only read it out after an entire round. It was sitting there in his brain the whole time, just stewing……

[@gold_hev_suit]

him finding out ben franklin is in hell must’ve been like finding out santa isn’t real 😔

[@thesithofearth3617]

Santa isn't real?

[@EresirThe1st]

Santa deniers smh

[@monbub]

the horse dodge thing is hilarious bc i saw someone find out they could sprint by holding the dodge button 60+ hours into the game

[@birdwalkin]

11:23 "you're built like the bottom of a table at chili's" - it's talking about his character. people stick gum to the bottom of the (red) tables. the character is wearing a red shirt covered in white spots

[@cloakedhornets6515]

YAY, Jerma Chat horrors beyond my comprehension!

[@B0BBYSW0RLD]

It's hard to put into words how funny, terrifying, and adorable this man is, but I think 19:35 perfectly encapsulates it. The growl, then turning purple from laughter gets me every time

[@Flygoniaks]

Tim Allen grunt

[@odile2odette]

that was zerma breaking through the jerma facade

[@Sleepy-oi3xh]

I go feral over these, your editing is amazing

[@daynedreaming6660]

"im not gonna say that" *says it anyway*

[@Ozone946]

Something about Elden Ring really brought out the wolf lion hybrid in him. He was pretty feral and ferocious throughout the playthrough

[@Friedrich2DerGrosse]

The long awaited sequel to the biggest cinematic series of todays generation

[@Paradox_Incognito]

11:06 He would look good in a 50s business suit. Also maybe sprinkled with asbestos.

[@hellishqueer]

8:01 this is why he drank grandma's ashes

[@chainswordcs]

ben franklin like "everything is fine in moderation. especially slavery"

[@turkeygod6665]

He was abolitionist

[@angels497]

@@turkeygod6665maybe 1 or 2?

[@rxdane9320]

i love how jerma starts freaking out at the insinuation that ben franklin is in hell

[@windowspotatodefender1452]

9:50 genuinely feel bad for that guy cause I know that feeling. I've been there.

[@quinn8996]

Whenever he reads a real messed up one, he always looks at the chat, looks at his computer, does a double take back a chat, and then looks back at his computer and laughs

[@at_l]

jerma trying to kill the chatter with his mind at 19:18

[@PocketOMoxie]

I love how when someone notices the dick on the wall he says “WHY” as if he’s blaming them for it lol

[@dis0rian461]

oh shit new john's crops‼️ thanks for making all of these, really appreciate you putting the actual chat messages inside (or filling in for the missing ones) as well as the genuinely interesting selection of clips. keep up the good work!!

[@Deep_phobias]

16:40 I nearly pissed myself laughing

[@Dabednego]

I literally think about the "I hate this chair" comment at least once a week.

[@kingding9542]

Jerma is the kind of guy to raise the nitrogen level in my blood

[@mmothboness]

im sorry this is the funniest comment ive ever seen

[@kingding9542]

@@mmothboness it's ok you're forgiven

[@bearoace3278]

I read that as nicotine and didn’t even question it

[@17Beastmode17]

I'm amazed he was more focused on the lady in the Cambel's ad not saying yes than the fact "soup is good food" sounds like something out of They Live

[@sayaminatsuki8780]

FINALLY DUDE I'VE BEEN REWATCHING THE PAST 5 FOR JERMILLION TIMES

[@hentron420]

I can only imagine how long it takes for you to go through stream vods and capture every time he quotes chat and then you also have to look for who said it in chat when it’s moving so fast

[@marshyssbu9780]

its a beautiful thing when particular clips of Jerma and his mental deterioration are time stamped and labeled by keyword.

[@woodpecker4044]

This my first time having a comment of mine in a compilation. What an honor.

[@largeproblem]

the best part of the Ben Franklin bit is all that buildup for a simple but firm four-word declaration that Jerma’s colonial father figure is damned for all eternity

[@brutalcc3971]

i love the fact that when he gets to the "you look like" comments, he just gets progressively more pressed about it

[@Megamon0001]

Holy shit out of my own ass, I thought this series would never come back like my father! He's still gone but YES MORE JERA CLIPS

[@Mi_mcmuffin]

💖Jera💖

[@blahl9436]

I love Jera95

[@pup1030]

0:28 how does he make such accurate sound effects

[@f4irydollz]

fr lmao

[@raskr8137]

Retired clown, he used to improv like that all the time on children's parties

[@quinnsine1650]

I JUST ACCIDENTALLY PLAYED THE FIRST 25 SECONDS OVER MY FAMILIES BACKYARD BLUETOOTH

[@overrated2975]

You should do a video of jerma “reading” questionable comments but instead it’s all the times he just straight up makes up a chat comment

[@techstorezombie9316]

The squealing noises he made rubbing his face at the start were amazing, he's so good at shit like tha

[@princefoxv]

Dude that rage one that starts with “fuck this guy, this jerma dude,” has gotta be my favorite chat messages he’s ever read, everything about the way it develops and devolves is just perfect

[@boobrrs]

ive never seen a jerma stream before, i see clips of him sometimes so i clicked on this video. but this doesn't make me feel any less like hes some SCP or something, why are half of these stream clips just him watching old tv ads 😭 i dont even recognize like any of the games he plays either, where am i whats happening

[@Rey_Palpatine]

The chess thing is something I used to do all the time with different kinds of board games. Acting out a plot with the pieces is 100% more interesting than the "proper" way of playing. The tea my parents used to buy would come with little figurines and I got obsessed with collecting those in a similar way. The snowman and the sand castle fell in love in one arc

[@Coffee-Cath]

17:34 Jerma and chat kinda are the Super Liminal this clip fits the game well

[@etasjo]

im watching this instead of studying for my german exam

[@sugarculted4155]

Jerman exam aha ha ha

[@JD-jl4yy]

Very funny > Jerma's INSANE, UNHINGED mind > Vegan furry

[@offbranddorito9668]

The chin extension clip was so disturbing he turned into the moon

[@SloppyFish21Gaming]

I WAS HERE THANK U UR VIDEOS ARE AMAZING, I ALWAYS RE-WATCH THEM WHEN DOING THE DISHES/COOKING

[@johncrops]

Glad to help you through your dishwashing :)

[@livenishikireaction]

Classic OneGuy and NoGuy moments.

[@ecall7978]

Very glad to see another one of these, they are one of my favorite series of compliations, and thank you as always for putting in the effort of tracking down the original comments, it adds a lot to the experience.

[@Heyhowareyou504]

This series of videos got me into jerma

[@ejaybugboy3yt]

Jerma's like what would've happened to Dennis from Always Sunny if the internet was invented a few decades earlier.