Nice guy habits you need to stop NOW

[@jossell911]

As someone whose been called too nice. I’m learning to change. Mission: Put yourself first. Value yourself. Have self respect and set boundaries!!!! Very crucial vid💯

[@kevinsekete1765]

Very good.

[@richluetoure5386]

Good. Me too.

[@cleophasnamayiotenyo4845]

Good, i have learned, am going to change

[@nicelypenn]

Just because you put yourself first doesn't mean you wouldn't be a little bitch. e.g. "I'm about to be in a stressful situation so I'll just put myself first and not do what I should do because it's safer and feels better. I won't walk up and talk to that attractive woman." Or... "I value myself so I'll just stay at home and play video games or watch T.V. because I don't want to get hurt or die." Nice guys are nice because they're cowards and have no other choice but to be nice. If you want to not be a coward, then you should do things despite being afraid to do them even if it means putting yourself at risk. Men who aren't nice and are capable of speaking up against the group or whatever are men who have proven themselves capable. In other words, men who have been through some hard shit that was tough, challenging, grueling, or anything difficult and lived through it and gained valuable experience from it to the point they can inspire others to push themselves to those limits and beyond as well.

[@henshawosong5469]

I think that a lot of people don't get that some people are genuinely nice. I am not a people pleaser. It actually pleases me to be helpful. Some of us were raised to be selfless like Jesus and put others needs before our own. Self sacrificing. Some of us simply do not have the energy to start a fight. Not because we are scared but it's not how I want to spend my day. So if I tell a woman what wrong and we fight about it sometimes I just want peace. I know I can hurt her with my words and it can take her to a mental institution if I was honest and trying hurt her the way she try to hurt me. So I'll rather allow the disrespect because I don't want to be the reason for someone elses trauma. Best thing to do is to abandon disrespectful women... Out of empathy no not because I am scared of fighting. So I am usually conflict avoidant with a woman that is headstrong. So I come off as a push over with these type of women. I simply have a very high tolerance for bullshit. Empathetic to a fault. I have dealt with my anger issues so much that I can't remember the last time I was angry because my anger can drown me. I can get angry to a point where I can feel the bitter taste in my throat. So from a very young age I knew my anger could either kill me or hurt someone else so I changed from one extreme to another extreme. All of these set me up to be taken advantage of with the wrong woman.

[@niiadomnortey]

Learning how to say "No" and not feeling guilty about it is the best thing that you can do for yourself

[@text3plexfinderoninstagram97]

This message is to recognize your contribution to the team's success. Your commitment had been exemplary and your hard-work is an inspiration to everyone around you You're a truly a professional

[@KNByam]

True. Especially in my element in the gym.

[@mrshinrillaify]

💯

[@joemiller8482]

I agree

[@Sammie551]

Especially to women who use these emojis....."🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺"

[@isazaki3056]

As a former nice guy. I would advice most guys to become a gentleman instead of being a nice guy or a bad man.

[@solomonighede7133]

Yes, thank Jessica you helped me on the topic relating to my past relationship with a girl I know feeling guilty of my self for not put myself out for her , 0

[@kerronewen3162]

Great advice 👏

[@Kats_ronnie]

Bad guys carries more weight coz it loads more weight

[@carlosverde-datingtips7001]

I hear ya - Isazaki! A lot of people get it twisted, they think they actually need to be a “bad boy” in order to get the benefits bad boys get. And that’s not true at all, all you need, is to do some of the things they do that come off naturally to them. Such as being “independent”. Bad boys are rarely ever clingy and needy, they don’t constantly need a woman, they’re ok either way - they march to the beat of their own drums… and this is what you may need to do if you want to start being successful with women as well! Anyway, that’s my two cents. -Carlos Verde - Dating Tips

[@isazaki3056]

@@carlosverde-datingtips7001 Well thank you for your reply. I totally get you. What you have mentioned in your reply is something Jordon B. Peterson usually encourages most guys to do. To become a gentle monster and learn to integrate our shade. Hence it's important for a man to have a good balance between his good and bad self. Choosing the former over the latter in most scenarios would make him a gentleman or/and a gentle monster. These character traits will attract women.

[@LebronNOTJames1300]

I remember in high school I use to hear girls say this about me out loud to people “he’s weird, he so nice, and text me good morning beautiful every morning.” And those same girls that treated me like that now got 5 to 6 kids and a few baby fathers who don’t even help them. I lost the battle but I won that WAR 😌

[@nurhayat81]

Amen brother 👏🏽

[@boxoffisa]

In the end nice guys win. I can’t change myself and taint my character in need to win a narcissist heart.

[@LebronNOTJames1300]

@@boxoffisa fa sho 💙

[@Comic_control]

Yes it's not about losing the battle but wining the war

[@johndasilva2686]

That’s right good for you.

[@Raj-cl7he]

Setting healthy boundaries will automatically make you seem like a bad boy. What changed for me is that I started noticing how much my qualities of being nice to others was actually affecting my self esteem, my confidence, my opinions, even my right to speak up. Once you see how it affects you will start making steps to better your self

[@legion1630]

many don't recognize how it affects them

[@ernestbannerman9868]

Thanks Very much my Dear ❤️❤️💯💯💯

[@obongblaze]

Hi sis... You were talking about me, I was in that category for many years, and trust me it is killing me until I learn to say no, I learn to look after myself. Being a nice guy will never make anyone love you more instead you are being used. Thank you!

[@soladah432]

The best video I have watched in a long while...thank you Jessica.

[@ezramutunamusonda3131]

Wow, madam what a gift you are, thanks so very much for this session life changing indeed

[@antonyndegwa6265]

The 4 Nice-Guy Habits to STOP are: 1. PEOPLE PLEASING thus living by IMPOSSIBLE standards. 2. Too much AGREEABLENESS, which kills your INDIVIDUALITY. 3. SAYING YES to everyone's requests thus allowing EXPLOITATION. 4. Failing to STAND UP for yourself when insulted/harmed/threatened. Adios.

[@antonyndegwa6265]

@Hutton Patricia May all be well in your second try of the relationship.

[@loszhor]

Thanks.

[@carlmaslow1870]

Thanks for the summary 👍🏽

[@RealNzlord]

Don't get that last point I'll fight who ever pisses me off or my family treating people how I want to be treated shouldnt be a sign of being nice I'm also quiet so respect me I'll respect you don't give it out

[@sosososwaggva]

My man saved me enough time to watch another video appreciate you my guy.

[@SargentoVelez91M]

Never change who you are for nobody, if she don’t appreciate who you are she don’t deserve you. Let the trash stay in the trash can. 💯

[@earlgoodlett7593]

sure you right let the trash stay in the trash

[@JosphAdams-vd5nq]

More gracias

[@deontuigamala]

Facts!💯

[@snOags]

Good words. Thanks

[@michaelchilaka3113]

Exactly 💯

[@Baruch994]

Nothing wrong with being a nice person... your not meant for everyone! We are just living in a hateful nasty world!

[@donnelladams8362]

Exactly

[@malanmashilipa2662]

I was thinking the same

[@muritalaakande69]

Being nice has to be moderated.

[@OmniTheAlchemist]

But if you keep doing it you look desperate and it feels forced

[@earrth911]

So true, its evil vs god.

[@princeeleanyakalu7960]

I love this,I've been a nice guy and has been used and stupid to some friends and families, trying to please people has been my greatest problem. Today,I turn a new leaf

[@rondavid7413]

Forget that stay blessed Anyone who doesn't like nice is EVIL Matthew 5:9 Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. Maintain a nice peaceful atmosphere around you I've seen evil mean women desperately in need of what the nice guy has been abundantly blessed with So Being nice is a position of strength that comes with being blessed just keep an uncompromised vision of what u want The being nice part irritates the evil ones when they can't manipulate you Being nice myself with abundance I see many mistake my kindness for weakness they're predictable a mile a way & I win every argument by what makes the most sense

[@Terrestrial..1]

​@@rondavid7413Don't give up on your inner self to become like Them. Be happy.

[@Bibi_Jay]

I took notes: 1. stop being a people pleaser. it's not bad to want to please people or certain people but don't seek to do it every time everyday, by fire by force.( My jotting: I would recommend get the book by Patrick king-stop being a people pleaser) 2. you don't have to agree with everything. it's okay to disagree or agree to disagree. you can disagree politely and stick to it. 3. you don't have to say yes everytime. learn to say no. sometimes with or without a reason. set boundaries. Identify manipulations. 4. draw the line. Don't allow ppl to disrespect, insult or take you for granted. being nice isn't being stupid. You allow ppl to treat you bad if you tolerate bad behavior.

[@edecyprian2809]

The truth is that people see nice guys as people who are weak. Sometimes it's really very difficult to change from the real you, but I think is high time I start being nice to myself too than that way I do to people. Thanks a lot Jessy

[@LoveInTheMiddle]

Be nice! It’s fine, just also take care of yourself too. BOTH can co-exist…

[@alexfletcher1492]

Yea bro, because being nice is wah I am I can't change

[@simuspot]

same

[@millyrock4455]

Hey its been easy for me in the last year I've disowned everyone close to me and I don't do anything for anyone ever thats all I've learned from videos like this and the world lately

[@teiloojukwu231]

I'm telling u o...

[@sinethembasibiya4327]

Being a gentleman, setting boundaries & putting yourself first is always the best option

[@kinchcherry5227]

I politely slightly disagree. It's the people pleasers that don't win...a person can be kind and compassionate but with boundaries. We should not mistake people pleasing with being kind or nice

[@advils12]

100% concisely spot on! Personally, there's a lot of these social media people being psychoanalyst to every life situation. Ergo, I SAY...Never, ever mistake kindness for weakness! Assumptions are the Mother of all Fu..ups!!

[@Kaniala-l7s]

Underrated Comment

[@opimpibar4438]

@@advils12 Omar sterling fan?

[@toborismattox3163]

Exactly you treat people with decentcie They take that for nice bullshit funny thing is everyone has a mean side

[@captainkeyboard1007]

Jessica Opare-Saforo did criticize people-pleasing, and so does the Holy Bible. The Bible describes it as "being a respecter of persons." This trait is not good to possess. People are not perfect and do make mistakes.

[@ELVIAN143]

Wow this is a great eye-opener to me. I have spent almost all my life being a nice guy trying to please everyone and ending up being the most used, most abused and most unrewarded. I'm changing this with radicalism!!!

[@peterpn3215]

Thank you so much I have been a prisoner of being nice to everyone but have now been delivered may God richly bless you

[@jacoblantei1540]

Sometimes as a dude it’s actually very important to stay quiet. Even if you know the solution to a problem that’s being discussed in your presence. As a guy you should be able to analyze and pick up energies around you without staring 👀 or opening your mouth

[@feloniousmonk321]

This is a great comment

[@johnwest6977]

Completely agree you just gotta read the room sometimes

[@douglasmusamba4673]

Somebody tipped me about the badness of being a nice guy. My previous relationships all ended in tears. Since then I transformed myself to a different person. Below are my principals which I follow either in a relationship or at work. 1. Do the right thing and never do things to please your boss at work or a lady u are with in a relationship. 2. Do not agree everything your partner says. 3. Don't be scared to lose her somebody who truly love u will never pressurize u. 4. Always be a big thinker.

[@ebenezerdonkorx-ray4561]

Good

[@tangaafrica1155]

I salute number 3

[@loszhor]

Thanks.

[@charleslsledgeiii3683]

Very informative and helpful

[@alvinsimba734]

One thing for men. Do not date women that you work with and the reason why I'm saying that as a man is because it only takes one move and those women that you think may like you , may end up sabotaging you and your job. For example, accused of something that you clearly didn't do. So you are better off dating someone that no one knows that you as an individual that you only know.

[@kingsleynwoke7338]

Well done Jessica. You said it all. When I started to say no to my family members because I felt being used , I became an enemy . So much emotional blackmail and criticism but I stood my ground.

[@modikiramaisa4619]

I’m going through this now I’m living for my mother and I want to live my own life now

[@antonyndegwa6265]

It might be worthwhile learning about NARCISSISM too. Users can be narcissistic abusers.

[@limitlessfelh1109]

I'm proud of you. Going through the same issues.

[@richworldba]

Great, am in ur shoes

[@user-rn4tt9gw2p]

Ditto for me…they told me f my chip on my shoulder…when I grew up without my brothers and a broken home

[@NefariousDreary]

I like to tell people that if you're a nice guy, don't only be a nice guy. Show people that there's more to you than nice and that there are consequences for mistreating you.

[@michaelmungu3339]

Jessica!! My tears are flowing inside, I love this.!!!

[@nerdi3984]

My first time watching your video and you've won me over. I hit the subscribe button before you even ended the video. People took my "nice guyness" as weakness for a long time. When I eventually stopped tolerating certain people who used to take advantage of me, I became an enemy to them. Thanks for making this video.

[@nzangaanthonyjacob8832]

It's worse when you are dealing with a gas lighter

[@anthonyokonkwo843]

From all you've said, I find myself in between. I am neither a nice guy nor am I a bad guy. I am just a guy that please people when it's needed and right and don't when it's not necessary. Know yourself and feel free to be yourself anytime and anywhere

[@amosokilong6917]

After reading,a book by Corey,"how to be 3% man",it opened my eyes,just as Jessica has said, being a people pleaser especially if you are are yes person in regards to relationship,she will be see you as weak and a trap for manipulation, from that moment have learned to be me,to comfortably say no,and stand on my grounds, no more "nice guy", for me,I have now the freedom to be me.

[@nqobilenyathi7699]

may i kindly have that book too friend. the 3% man you mentioned

[@PeterDede-p2s]

Jessica, you have really made my day and suffice it to say that this has been my experience from childhood to present, trying to be seen as Mr Right and yet have never satisfied everyone to the point of being considered as an optional person. Thanks so much for sharing your story with us.

[@ekemelunnoli7149]

I sometimes catch myself returning to my nice guy Mode, but then i remember your words and knock myself back into the awareness of not wanting to be the people pleaser i typically used to be. I have grown since listening to your Tips. Thanks for sharing.❤

[@rondavid7413]

Forget that stay blessed Anyone who doesn't like nice is EVIL Matthew 5:9 Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. Maintain a nice peaceful atmosphere around you I've seen evil mean women desperately in need of what the nice guy has been abundantly blessed with So Being nice is a position of strength that comes with being blessed just keep an uncompromised vision of what u want The being nice part irritates the evil ones when they can't manipulate you Being nice myself with abundance I see many mistake my kindness for weakness they're predictable a mile a way & I win every argument by what makes the most sense

[@malvernmabvira1562]

​@@rondavid7413max respect u legend

[@princepacifico1512]

A polite man and a people pleaser are 2 different things. A people pleaser aka "nice guy", has no boundaries and is a doormat for everyone. He's afraid of losing friendships and relationships and does everything even destroying himself to keep those relationships. That's the difference.. it's not difficult to be polite and not be a doormat for everyone just have boundaries thats all

[@DNAGroup-d2l]

@@princepacifico1512 it can be difficult for individuals with childhood trauma.. a lot of African parents force their child to be nice to everybody and always do as your told.. this doesn’t end well.. it can be also difficult for men in relationships with a covert narcissist.. a real expert female manipulator who can have u doing all the right things just to feed her narc supply… u can be in a situation like that fit years and not know..

[@thokozanid]

One of the best decisions I ever took in my life was to subscribe to your channel. 🇿🇦

[@kofiappiah7034]

She’s really great at what she does.. 👌

[@justjoe9208]

This is a beautiful piece of advice for men who always want acceptance by everyone!! Just stop it already coz it never works. Just be who you are. Stand by your principles always!!!! BIG up Jessy👍

[@angelarutoh1791]

True

[@dalisobanda5575]

Thank you. I will be who I am. A nice guy...

[@mrluvit8232]

@@dalisobanda5575 fully agree 👍 let's all do our part 2 help make average nice guys 🆒️ 😎 again!

[@ZFlyingVLover]

You can't make everyone happy so stop trying, be a gentleman but lookout for number one, YOU, and if you have time to help other then do so. But don't put yourself second.

[@Chiungalla79]

Another real crucial point: Don't be the one that initiates communication and dates. Let her make a move from time to time. If for nothing else, just to make sure you are not barking at the wrong tree.

[@MojoSun1]

This video is me. I'm 65 years old and have been single for over 20 years. After watching your video, now I have to change myself again. I wish I saw a video like this one, year ago. Thank You for creating this video. Many Blessings To You. Blessed Be

[@bigq1977]

This video definitely hit on the nice guy stigma. This has to be your best video to date. Thank you.

[@Raptured_and_back]

I think its also a good thing to be able to defend yourself and hurt someone taking the initiative to hurt and take advantage of you. It makes them learn. There's no nice girl term because women are only nice/submissive the more attracted they are to a man.

[@babyluvjr]

That's some of the realest shit u ever spoke, pimpin!! Women that really aren't feeling u like they SAY, will ALWAYS SHOW u their TRUE feelings!!

[@samuelagyeman1644]

This is exactly what we need in the Social Media space. Love your videos. Keep up the good works. God richly bless you for sharing your wisdom.

[@jamevictor2704]

This was more of a motivation to me. Thank you so much for the advice ❤

[@Preciousguyrocks]

I love you Jessica, you are such an intelligent and wise speaker. You speak with so much wisdom. When I listen to your or appears you speak my language most times. You tend to cut across cultural and racial barriers. Most of what you say is applicable in most cultures. Keep up the good work.

[@isaacnigare6302]

It's never easy to change the real you to a new you, but I think it's high time we accept changes in our lives

[@evanthomas1859]

If you change who you are then who are you? See we don't get to choose much in this world. Choosing who you want to be.

[@daudakamara728]

Thank you so kindly Jessica Your channel is not only an encyclopedia but addictive as well Your presentations are out of this world

[@sylvesterese466]

Jess ', the moment I picked up my boot from the straps, I discovered that am now quick to see a manipulative attitude from both genders, particularly the women . Am at peace, with myself now... Its Bs, pleasing people. You're 101% right, Jess' Those that will love you will and those that don't won't...

[@fistonmugisho7106]

Thanks for this wonderful advice,I was a victim for being too nice to many people and been used but I changed and got my respect back.

[@mayowaokunoye6522]

I swear Jessica you are just too correct.All this points you made from point one to point six are just exactly the point. I in most cases find myself in this kind of habit/attitude.

[@Nwokwulevictor]

Jessica. I've watched your videos for sometime now and I must say you've really helped me improve my social life and game at large..I used to be this soft inferior dude but now,I am confident and I have had the most attention I've ever had in my life these past months thanks to you..you always give me content I need even before I think of it..I like me now because of your videos thanks a billion.❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@NejiHyuga961]

Thanks to this channel I’ve found where I’ve been going wrong with things. Now I no longer am blaming the other person.

[@eguavoeneugene4384]

I am a definition of Mr nice guy cause all the characteristics you mention was a description of me. You have given me total liberty even though I was already freeing myself from the shackles. Thank you Jessi and keep on doing a good job with your post

[@MichaelGriffin-wv5tx]

it's a book online called no more mr. nice guy...you should listen to it.

[@techy_jesse]

@@MichaelGriffin-wv5tx yeah one of the best books to definitely read. 🙌

[@kobby_mystical]

@@MichaelGriffin-wv5tx how?

[@josephgatambia5679]

I'd appreciate a copy of that book from anyone who cauld be having it

[@abwizzybaby]

Am so happy for you Ma Jess. Am proud I saw you subscription grow from 120k followers to 1 million followers and more, keep it going Ma Jess, you're the best😘.

[@dennisgounden682]

Thank u Jessica.U are amazing and you comments are so true and absolutely good and true.I cannot stop watching your channels.

[@fomosewoyeba7872]

This is a knock on my head 🙇‍♂️Thank you Jess for the video

[@Introvertedalpha]

🔥🔥

[@floquence]

Nice guys stand up for everyone else, but themselves.

[@RicardoLopez-ty4kn]

100%.

[@earlem9771]

The challenge for me is that changing my habits to be more in tuned with what I want instead of what I think others want has been taking some time. Nothing good happens overnight or without persevering effort.

[@tunde4444]

Good video, speaks volumes about who I am and where I am in life. I’m 42 and have lived most of my life being nice to people. The times that I’ve stood up for myself got me revenge from the family members of the people I spoke up against ! It had a lasting repercussions for my sanity, it got me no respect but the complete opposite ( one of the incidents, 1. Being called gay as a young 20 something, being called a nigger, my heavily pregnant sister being pushed by another woman…..) the list is endless….sometimes speaking up doesn’t always help being the bad boy gets you locked up in prison for many years and you end up with a wasted time and nobody’s respect. I agree with you on so many levels but my personal experience has been quite the opposite when I’ve said no….I’ve been called lazy, self centred, selfish and victim mentality ! Women don’t like or respect me… We live in an unfair nasty world !

[@earlem9771]

@@tunde4444of course you have to be careful with how you say things. That being said, saying what people don’t necessarily want to hear will can and may upset them.

[@smangankosi5124]

Thank you I was also that nice guy putting people first and helping everyone when they come seeking for help. Thank you❤️

[@andrewkoech1646]

Thank you, Jesica. That's all I can give you. you've really transformed me.

[@tonyeentertainment5292]

You are so brilliant the way you articulate on every issue. Thanks for keeping it real Jessica.

[@nwokochabright1995]

I found myself in all of this and i think this video is speaking directly to me. Am grateful, finding this channel have helped me so much. Thanks Jessica

[@bettybless1764]

When you stand up for yourself by not allowing people to insult you, disrespect you, take you for granted or take advantage of you as said you're named "difficult " arrogant, proud among others . Its not easy where to strike the balance.

[@andresavage9109]

I’ll be that then

[@kevincroft9848]

Thanks Jessica for all these tips on this video about 9 things to stop doing if you are Mr Nice Guy I needed this in my life because I tend to say Yes to most women Kevin from UK 🇬🇧

[@jammer0856]

You really hit me Jessica!! This is my first time to watch your video and I felt everything in my heart what you said!! Put your self first is a great answer because my bff I met 10 months I met her online and she lives in the Philippines and she inform me to put my self first cause she said I'm so nice and don't let anyone take advantage of you!! I finally start saying NO and you are right!! It feels better but sometimes I still feel guilty but I'm changing from that!! Again thank you Jessica!!

[@abongderic8565]

Thanks a lot for reminding me that I've been making a mistake by trying to please everyone around me which is an impossibility, worst all this thing of a nice guy has totally destroyed and ridiculed my relationships both with friends and family not forgetting the romantic one's, but thank God I've learned my lessons and this reminder from you again!

[@niwagabajameschina]

I'm really grateful for this wonderful work to help out the "simps" that are dying inside due to detrimental relationships and due to inability to understand their worth and fear to stand their ground and to listen to their guts. What is amazing is that it is a woman articulating this, this is wonderful and a blessing to have a woman talk about this in this radically feminized society. My humble request is that if it may please you, we have these ideas translated into a book. I think we will have another Esther Vilar

[@borisbryant.007]

Ma guy You read Esther Vilar? I hope it was by accident if not what sent you there...........hmmmmm

[@Wyntrborn]

You can start off by not being disrespectful calling someone a simp. Unaware of being too nice is more mature.

[@maxwelltsipoaka3654]

I feel this video was made for me 100% Thanks very much, Mad. Jessica.

[@marvingrinage5423]

Jessica. You are on point. I can relate to your advice roughly seventy percent. I really like the fact that you speak about subject matter from your heart. Alot of advisors need work in this area.

[@audaciousmona1310]

So true, if you aren't being yourself and always trying to live for people, you'll always go through the worse in this, for a lot of people are on their personal agendas, being too nice won't benefit you anything but hurts and disappointments most of the time... You'll always wonder what you doing wrong and find nothing, but what really do wrong is the 'too much' of Mr Nice guy. Thanks for the lectures, you really play a great portion in our lives, especially the fact of being a woman and bringing the facts and truth to the minds of men... It makes you a significant blessing unto us. Thank you so much Jessy ❤️

[@onahchibuike5985]

You are so right I have been used enough Most times I feel bad knowing my weakness

[@arincollins3920]

Thank you Jessica. This video is timely dear, I feel I was the culprit here and you have rescued me by the way.

[@stevebillwatchers4538]

You are talking about me. i thought giving women attention and taking care of them will make them love me. little did I know I was just fooling myself around.

[@faloundiaye2504]

Thank you..I was dating a girl for just 10 days..she asks me everyday money, foods... She wanted to use me cuz I was so nice to her and thought I'm not mature.. This video is important 😊👍🏾

[@Rainstorm121]

Thank you. I just realized that I have being a nice guy for 5 years during my relationship and, now for 7 years of marriage.

[@brodaniel5897]

I feel like you’re actually talking to me Sis Jessica. Thanks a lot mehn

[@mukondelelic.mulaudzi8357]

You are truly a caring Sister Jessica, helping your Brothers out like this. Please continue with this great work, some of us need it. It provides great insights into Self.

[@ignatiuslorenz3235]

I was a typical nice guy. Wanted to always please people until I decided to stand my ground. I lost so many friendships/family. As I focused more on my self and got better with my life. They came back but this time with so much respect and love for me. Now I have set my boundaries, you just have to respect them.

[@dsanders799]

That is awesome

[@jeffdarkwah2676]

Yh yh true

[@Shypoet1]

Good video. Describes me, and more importantly, it describes my 20 year old grandson. Sending it too him!

[@eddierobertson6511]

All I can say is Thank you!!!!!!! Up @2 am watching this after making a old mistake because of being a Nice Guy Be real you can't lose you may lost something or someone but you didn't lose

[@Gliday]

This video was like it was tailored for me. So true, focussing on oneself validates more to the future than pleasing... Lotsa like from 🇰🇪

[@kavuela]

Niaje

[@michaelg7456]

another great job Jess! As always, eat healthy and live with passion!

[@Introvertedalpha]

💯

[@soccerplanet]

Thank you Jessica. You're actually talking about me here. Even while I find this nice guy trait difficult to stop, I believe I'm freeing myself from the chains, and it's getting better with your advises. Thanks a lot, ma'am.

[@vikctorrkreedd6418]

The word "nice" denotes ignorant, ignorance has many forms, to knowingly ignore facts, to be ignorant to facts without knowledge, to be ignorant to facts with the wrong knowledge etc... This would negate this entire video. Until the terminology is accurate it can't be fact. The etymology of words are the truth, not the narrative in which ppl choose to abuse them in to fit their agenda.

[@dirtysavage83]

I felt like you were talking directly to me. All of this happened to me exactly how you said it. Thank you. I'm goin to stand up for myself from now on and say NO when it's right.

[@olatundeowodimilehin827]

You simply made this specially for me, dear Sis.! More wisdom and God bless.

[@t_adams]

Why is being too nice equated with not putting yourself first? Why is it OK to tell nice guys they are the ones doing things wrong for being a nice guy? Being a nice guy is not a bad thing, yes being a doormat is a bad thing but that has nothing to do with being nice. I am a proud nice guy. I Take no shit from anyone, but I am still a nice guy. You can be a nice guy with character flaws, like being a doormat or not taking care of self-first, but that is to work on. I am tired of nice guys feeling they can't be nice, or they are somehow wrong. Stop guilting nice guys.

[@shedparker]

Exactly. I’m at the point now where if you don’t like me for me, it’s whatever. Don’t chase women, don’t be nice to women, etc., seems women are reserved for the James Bonds of the world. I’ll continue focusing on me.

[@vcjjj08]

When I started being assertive and saying what's on my mind which seemed mean spirited but then my phone wouldn't stop ringing and always got approached. I stopped making women the priority and backing down in arguments. Learning how to walk away from bullshit. Here I am 45 and for the last almost 7 years all but one ex-girlfriend are still pursuing me. Not bragging but she is saying some real shit that I figured out many years ago. Young and old, women are a trip.

[@ARTDEVGRU247]

Any plans of settling down?

[@godwingabriel3775]

So far this is best video of Jessica I've watched!OMG!😮,she was talking to me directly...I love this video,it spoke to me deeply, all these years I've been the "Nice Guy" and I've seen what comes with it... Thanks a lot Jess, you're awesome

[@clintgordon1814]

Great video. Coming from a nice guy who has people pleased, and has always been approval seeking through a life time of relationships that always end up me just being taken for granted.

[@f50koenigg]

And then after they get all they want from you, they will dispose you like you never existed.

[@ENTFANS]

Jessi, you don't need to tell me, you made this video for me, you basically describe me especially the emotional part and thanks for your thoughts on ways out of it

[@samuelt.kisaame7787]

I totally agree with you. I used to be a nice guy aka Simp but I have stopped being that way and contrary to what people believe the reaction to standing up for yourself is; the opposite actually happens. People tend to reach out more albeit in a respectful way.

[@farhiafarah6954]

Nono, man is ever like these ever. exusemeeee but young women farhiashappiness mostly depend the conditions when i developed and knows moree and expert Normal .but normally iam better the other womens in msny ways and so mportant.5👋

[@farhiafarah6954]

But we know us persons is good to be blance or women betterrrrrr.olways young women better So true.

[@farhiafarah6954]

And wonderful.

[@malineli3266]

May your week go as smooth and respectful as the personality you present 🙏🏽💯🇧🇧

[@funkmasterjay]

There is a difference between being Nice and being Kind. It's a fine are we all need to learn.

[@lufuluwabomikiladi]

SHE'S ABSOLUTELY RIGHT, NICE SHOW MRS JESSICA, I LOVE THIS

[@solomonshumate3683]

Thank you! As a nice guy myself, I really needed this video. I realize now that you can still be a nice guy but setting boundaries is important!

[@benovarner9945]

Thank you for topic miss Jessica I needed to hear this . This sums up my whole life. Being tool for granted. Being silent about stuff now I must change this to change my life. I feel this is the only way to become more happy about myself and what I do keep the great topics coming peace n luv

[@gastonchi5901]

"Oh you are my prayer point and that girl is playing with you?" When you get this statement several times, it means something isn't right. Yes I know something isn't right but change is the problem. I know most of the things you asked Mr nice guy to do so as to change but I don't know or want to implement them and it hurts. Hope I change one day. Thanks for the vid

[@nodozhit]

I beg to differ. There's a big difference between being a nice guy and being a passive pushover. My advice to a genuinely nice guy is to pick your battles. You don't have to prove your worth to worldy people. You just have to fight for what you want; and protect the things you value.

[@romelgonzales2754]

Exactly what I'm thinking there are other ways to be a nice guy

[@tojusote4896]

It is only when it comes to women that being nice is bad

[@romelgonzales2754]

@@tojusote4896 yh cause they see nice guys as a push over if it's a bad guy they wouldn't listen to them and just do what they want

[@tojusote4896]

@@romelgonzales2754 that's just sad,later in life when d bad guy starts beating them up and treating them badly they start complaining, confused gender

[@hiran4935]

You can be a nice person and not be a push over at the same time. It is bit stupid how they stereotype this.

[@eddieh3580]

failing to stand up for myself when insulted. I did this with her for almost a year and the insults were coming from her. Thanks for this video

[@SakhileSakhile-k1k]

I will never miss your episodes anymore it's like u r talking to me sister god bless u

[@mrbotwe247]

This video was made personally for me, as someone who’s phlegmatic. As someone who hardly says NO, who puts others needs first before mine, who hardly speaks his minds, this video has taught me a lot in just few minutes. Ready for a change, now! I hope I become better, henceforth.

[@King-zx4qr]

Same

[@revisaacbbrobbey6144]

Very powerful 🔥🔥🔥🔥

[@yamaniyoussef]

yet u will never change u just need to find the right person

[@dsanders799]

Welcome to the club you are not alone

[@jivonstephen6677]

Wish i knew this 20 years ago and me being an aries still rather look naive than to say we are being used by mostly everyone because we feel more for persons than ourselve, its like a curse. However thanks for reminding us again and being here , Jessica.

[@McNobotosombo]

Very true, nice guys suffers the most

[@iregiwanjohi6808]

Thanks Jessica you are gifted with the little things us men ignore and even can't see them. Keep up girl. Wanjohi - Mombasa Kenya

[@eastside0434]

This lady talks alot of sense in such a calm manner

[@hemonikhenry8738]

All these have been my weaknesses. It is really hard for me to stop. I have been trying a lot to stop these but the problem is that it has become part of me. I always take pity at people having issues and never like people complaining to me about the problems they are facing

[@fullblastrecognize8480]

Bro, i have a simple solution for you. Would you like to be a millionaire? Do you know what it takes to be a millionaire? Let your whole life focus on being a millionaire, then you will start to clearly see actions and people who dont contribute to your dream. Slowly and steadily, even if you cannot tell people no to their faces, you will avoid them and use different tactics to avoid situations that pull you back from your dream. The more you concentrate on your dream, the easier for you to spot someone manipulative and using you. There nothing wrong being nice, but there's something wrong being a doormat. Someone becomes a doormat when they do 't have a VISION or a DREAM or a PURPOSE. Look at your hidden talent and sharpen it at the cost of the unrewarding social life, its not easy as your 'fake' friends will still be looking for you. You have to hide at first, then slowly tell them you busy. Some will not respect your answer and demand you join them, just brush them off, tell them you reading a book. Just tell them anything and if they RAISE their voice, give them a SHARP TONGUE LASHING and just be rude and push them away. Never be afraid to be alone, keep yourself with books and high value youtube channels.. Be your own man and start believing that that hidden talent you got, as long as you can concentrate on it, not for just months, but put years of work in it..you will achieve your dream. So dont be idle, playing video games all day and netflix, start readin and learning a new language... What were you good at as a kid, music? comedy? dancing? Whatever it is..people will start treating you different and give you some respect when you start polishing and shining in it... Peace

[@josephosagwanel-heart41]

You just described me. I feel satisfied though that people are comfortable around me.

[@henryomoefe8722]

I found the video meaningful because I can relate with the standards you pointed which nice guys has to start doing, and these are things I am practicing. Many thanks Jessica for the confirmation that am on the right path.

[@malmeningakuri.malimusic281]

This video is definitely for me. Thank you Jess 🙏

[@lawalabimbola9639]

Wow! this video has really been helpful, saying "NO" has always been my problem cos i don't just want to let anyone down and oftentimes it comes with dire consequences i had to bear all alone. Thanks so much @least i know i'm not a bad guy by saying No