Jill Duggar Says Her Reality Shows Nearly Tore Her Marriage Apart | PEOPLE

Six years after leaving her mega-family's reality series, Jill Duggar is still struggling with the pain it caused - and she's finally ready to share her side of the story in her new book 'Counting the Cost.'
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Jill Duggar Says Her Reality Shows Nearly Tore Her Marriage Apart | PEOPLE
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#JillDuggar #DerickDillard #PEOPLE #DuggarFamily

[@Mammaj1963]

Remember her parents charged her $3 a day for 12 years to eat food in the family home. Jimbob should be in prison with his son. Get her book, it will blow your mind

[@LisaKoffler]

WOW! That's SICK! IF Jim Bob and Josh were in the same jail cell, that would be wonderful!

[@4103MAC]

As she gets older, Jill gets prettier and prettier. I think it is her strength and power coming through. Speak your truth Jill. Know, what your brother did to you is not your fault. How your parents treated you, regardless of intent, was not your fault. Big hugs...keep learning and growing.

[@LisaKoffler]

Jill, you can NEVER blame yourself for the behaviors of others, because it's THEIR problem, NOT yours! I'm just glad you're getting therapy, and that Derick is helping you heal in any way he can!

[@jodiwienkes6115]

Good job distancing yourselves from the drama and telling your truth. It must be really hard to do so.

[@tammypaul2305]

It is THE truth not her truth.

[@LisaKoffler]

It's BOTH!

[@Derwood4me]

Wishing Jill all the best as she continues to heal!

[@user-kf8wb2cq4f]

My hope for Jill is that she finds Peace with her entire family and moves forward.

[@OhCrumbs96]

"Finding peace" with an abusive family is complicated and often involves very firm boundaries. It seems that Jill is moving forward in the healthiest way possible by significantly limiting the contact she has with her family. Good for her.

[@LisaKoffler]

Jill is setting healthy boundaries, while continuing to stay in touch, and that's a good thing!

[@sandyl4100]

Good for Jill! And having Derick as a supportive husband is so important! Live your truth! 💗🙏💗

[@LisaKoffler]

Derick is the best thing that ever happened to Jill!

[@MalloryNewcomb]

Over time, Derick has shown himself to really be a wonderful partner for Jill. Between the two of them, the way they talk and they tone they use, words and even cadence is quite different but he is able to size up what she is saying and validate & say “we need to do something about that”. I imagine when Jill struggles to find words to describe something Derick is able to come in and describe her situation & she’s like yeah that’s what I’m going through and makes her feel validated. You can tell he really listens to her behind the scenes and takes her feelings as important.

[@LisaKoffler]

Mallory Newcomb, Derick gave Jill something her parents NEVER gave her - unconditional love! Maybe they would have if they didn't join Bill Gothard's IBLP cult! It's patriarchal, and that's why girls and women are treated so badly! REAL churches teach unconditional love, and her parents should have been smart enough to understand that!

[@cperkin6880]

Jill we are so proud of you telling your truth! You’re doing the right thing. Your parents did you wrong in so many ways!

[@LisaKoffler]

Absolutely! Joining Bill Gothard's IBLP cult instead of a REAL church was the worst decision they ever made!

[@teamcougars]

Jill has every right to be the one to tell HER story it’s hers to tell!😮

[@LisaKoffler]

Jinger did the same thing when she wrote her own book!

[@susanmoran692]

Proud of them!! Jill I agree parenting is hard!! You are both doing a great job!! Jill thank you so much for sharing your story!

[@andreagnauck4982]

I am so proud of you Jill. You are an amazing women and you have a great husband!! Keep strong and know there are lots of people behind you, cheering you on!!! YOU GOT THIS!!!!

[@LisaKoffler]

YES SHE DOES! I'm glad Jinger, Aunt Deanna, and Cousin Amy are being supportive, and Cousin Amy is writing her own book as well!

[@lauriedefelice8132]

I am an interrupter by nature. I see him as supporting her. I’m happy for them both. It sounds like they have had some excellent therapy and are still working on familial relationships

[@corinneshutack3453]

With all due respect, your habit of interrupting people isn't justification for him to do it. It's the opposite - It's recognizing that you have a habit that is probably disrespectful to other people and working on that.

[@LisaKoffler]

I was taught that interrupting people while they're talking is bad manners, whether it's by nature or not!

[@lauriedefelice8132]

@@LisaKoffler yes. I’m usually friends with other interrupters so we start a conversation at one point and go all over the place but usually we end from the beginning. Does that even make sense

[@LisaKoffler]

Laurie DeFelice, I don't know WHAT to say or think about that, but I agree with Corinne Shutack! It's disrespectful, and you and your friends need to learn to have more patience to give each other a chance to talk!

[@lauriedefelice8132]

@@LisaKoffler you either get it or you don’t. It’s more of a sisterhood thing in my case where we just know each other 🤷‍♀️. No rudeness. Conversation is just free flowing

[@fillissamuel6546]

So glad you are telling your story. So many children are growing up in a similar situation that is not normal.

[@LisaKoffler]

That's true, and Jill's new book should be able to help!

[@paranrmlgrl]

Awe, when Jill says that their parents stepped in and “protected” the kids by saying they didn’t want the kids being filmed fighting… the fact that she doesn’t recognize that they wouldn’t want them filmed fighting is probably because it would tarnish their “family brand” is the saddest thing I’ve ever heard. 😢❤

[@spiritofanu3112]

I caught that as well. Was JB really protecting the children’s best interests or protecting the false narrative of the unrealistic happy family he created and lorded over?

[@bridhickey9963]

If Jimbob was any kind of a father he'd approach Jill and apologise .and admitted he was wrong to back up Josh and pay issues.

[@JB11334]

Or maybe because it would embarrass the kids.

[@LisaKoffler]

Jim Bob only protected Josh, and he only cares about his own best interests!

[@queeniebee7736]

Love Jill, seeking healthy relationships and boundaries…excellent!

[@ckaydw]

I love you Jill. You have been my favorite from the start. I’m so happy that the Lord brought Derek in your life. You have a strong man to stand with you honey. The Lord is watching over you and your family. God Bless ❤️🙏🙏🙏🙏❤️❤️❤️🙏🙏🙏

[@leanagoosen363]

Very brave and necessary

[@LisaKoffler]

Absolutely! Fear is normal, but you can't let it stop you from doing the right thing!

[@mollycote1021]

So happy for you both! Your boys will look up to you for the rest of their lives! Bravo!❤🎉

[@terrinew9474]

Good for y'all Jill & Dereck, I'm glad y'all are telling the truth. ❤

[@corinneshutack3453]

I'm really grateful that they're speaking up about this. They're absolutely right that story-telling is an effective way to help others to recognize if they are in an unhealthy situation and to see that they can get out of it. I didn't love that her husband interrupted her twice in less than two minutes. The second time was right after she talked about helping people to "find their voice."

[@integrityinus5018]

I have been following this family for years now. Lots of ups and downs for sure.

[@LisaKoffler]

Jim Bob and Michelle joined Bill Gothard's IBLP cult instead of a REAL church! It's called FAKE Christianity! ALL families have problems, but it's MUCH worse in cults!

[@kpbrown2128]

So proud of them!

[@MsSera21]

She shares a lot about their healing journey and I'm glad for them on that account

[@ckaydw]

You know what gets me. Jim and Michelle didn’t do any of the things they wanted their kids to do. Michelle was a cheerleader and her and Jim kissed and dated by their selfs before they were engage or married. So it’s easy for them to say to their kids not to hold hands until engage and no kissing before marriage. Girls can’t wear pants like their mom did or be a cheerleader. Hypocrites Did Jim take advantage Michelle because he did kiss, hug and held hands. She wore those little cheerleading uniforms shorts and pants for me I don’t think so. They all so set their own rules for their family. Jim and Michelle set the rule only dresses for the girls over the knee. But what I really gets me so mad the boys could wear shorts and tee shirts. They didn’t have to be cover up like the girls. I used to get so mad when the boys had their shorts on and short sleeves on a hot day. Then the girls came out in granny dresses long sleeves cover up to their necks. What a bunch of nonsense. Jim has to realize just as he set the rules for his family each child has the right to do the same for their family. He wouldn’t like it if his father kept all the money and he didn’t get any. The show wasn’t called Jim and Michelle. If it was just them. There would be no show. The kids made the show. That’s who I watched and was amazed by for the way they lived like that. Don’t watch TV but be on a TV show. What’s up with that too. Talk about hypocrites Jim and Michelle are the biggest ones. God is about love, kindness, forgiving , understanding and caring for each other. The kids as far as I can see believe in the Lord with all their hearts and the Sweet Lord loves them the same as Jim and Michelle. I’m with you Jill all the way honey. God bless you and your family 🙏❤️🙏🙏🙏❤️❤️🙏🙏🙏❤️❤️🙏🙏❤️🙏❤️🙏❤️

[@jennifergreen4387]

The curse of reality television.

[@PthaloGreen2]

Esecialy when minor children are put on reality TV. They are too young to be able to truly consent. What a ridiculous thing. The parents pimped their kids out to pay the bills.

[@LisaKoffler]

"Pimped their kids out?" I don't think so! What REALLY happened was that they used their 19 kids for financial gain! It's absolutely disgusting!

[@jennifermcquaid906]

Jill we are here to support you. Your story is yours to share or share ony you want. Much peace and happiness.

[@sarahdicindio1801]

Proud of you ❤

[@TerryFobear]

❤ you so much im glad you are having a say about your family life and your business so stay strong

[@suzieakers07]

Truth will set you free! God bless the Dillard family!❤❤❤❤❤

[@jolenepayne1378]

Gooooo Jill Dillard, we love & support you🫶❤️🙏😘

[@YourDevil2024]

Life is sooooooo much better without social media. I watch a little KZbin but that’s it. No social media is OKAY!

[@LisaKoffler]

KZbin is the one and only social media I use!

[@jenniferschwandt2586]

The truth will set you free!! I love your family, keep up the great work, remember God's got you!

[@wendyfilice7101]

Good for you Jill 👏 I totally support you and pray for peace and healing from the cult and family trauma you endured. 👏❤️

[@LisaKoffler]

The IBLP cult is called FAKE Christianity! It's patriarchal, and that's why girls and women are treated so badly! Jill and her 8 sisters were treated in ways they NEVER deserved to be treated, along with 4 of them enduring Josh's sexual abuse, and being blamed for it! Anna was blamed for Josh's adultery, and it's absolutely disgusting! Thankfully, she's getting therapy, and Derick is helping her heal in any way he can!

[@lisagillum-wells1979]

I'm proud of you,Jill. That takes alot of courage to write the truth. 😊

[@Pauls-nz7le]

Good for you telling your story

[@lightningbug276]

So proud of Jill!

[@karyndewit193]

I just got the book today!

[@coolsaint6044]

Jim Bob and Michelle have to wonder everyday if another kid will rebel.

[@LLS-cf1iz]

Jill is not rebelling. She is an independent adult who is setting healthy boundaries for herself and her family (husband and kids). If her parents and siblings can’t respect them, that’s their problem.

[@ArkansasSquaw]

Sad. At least the majority of them are doing well and still serving God. These two saw money signs, plain and simple.

[@debbiescott6836]

@@ArkansasSquawYou are totally wrong!! How in the HELL can you say she is not worshipping God?!!! She is choosing to Worship God and NOT worship JB!!! JB pocketed $8 Million from his children being on TLC! He basically trafficked his children and got rich from them being on TV and in the media! He was a BULLY!!! When Jill was on TLC as an adult she had to go to Food Banks to feed her family!!! While Greedy JB was sitting on the millions the children made from their show!! He deserved NONE of that money, he didn’t earn a cent of that money, it was the kids money!! And what decent parent sits by and makes their grown married adult child go beg for food when they have millions in the bank?!?! JB and Meech are the WORST parents in the world!! His GREED will be his downfall!!! That CULT has destroyed so many peoples lives!! You are dead wrong, the mass of the children are so brainwashed and in fear of JB and are like Robots and are following what the tyrant says!!! That is NOT a life!!! Jill on the other hand has the COURAGE to think for herself and decide that they way her father dictates to his adult married children is wrong! She’s realized all the lies she was told as a child and the twisting of God’s words is wrong!! She is standing up to tell the truth!! Hopefully, more of her siblings open their eyes to the truth and have the courage to walk away from that Cult and it’s horrid teachings! YOU GO JILL!!!”

[@LisaKoffler]

Arkansas Squaw, you can serve God WITHOUT being part of a cult! The IBLP cult is called FAKE Christianity!

[@mskimrn9636]

I loved the book , read it. 3 days. God bless you Jill wishing you and Derrick the best

[@kimdavis8434]

Going to buy it Jill

[@linabailey4947]

You are so BRAVE! Thank you for telling your story and helping so many people in similar circumstances, especially fundamental Christian patriarchy which keeps women oppressed

[@LisaKoffler]

The IBLP cult is called FAKE Christianity! It's patriarchal, and that's why girls and women are treated so badly! Jill's bravery is an inspiration for ALL girls and women, and I'm EXTREMELY proud of her!

[@sunflowers58]

Personally I think it’s best for Derrick to stay quiet this is Jill’s truth. If he has something to say about his personal life fine do it in another forum. But cutting her off I don’t like she needs to get it all out we want to see it from her perspective it was her life. To me he’s always seemed shady.

[@spiritofanu3112]

I am proud of Jill for writing the book. I am still unsure if both her and Derek’s former condemnation of the LBGT community. I would like to know if their views have become more tolerant today.

[@LisaKoffler]

Let's hope so! Derick DID apologize for making homophobic remarks!

[@berglettemom6045]

It’s unfortunate that Derick feels he has to interrupt Jill and try to rephrase the things she says. She’s perfectly capable of expressing herself without his help. Also, it’s interesting how the only male child of Jim Bob and Michelle who ever gets mentioned is Josh. What about all the other brothers? Do they not have any opinions about the family?

[@LisaD-1969]

It really bothered me that Derick kept interrupting and talking over Jill. I’ve always thought he was a bit controlling.

[@LisaKoffler]

The other 9 Duggar sons DO have opinions, and MOST of them are very upset about Jinger and Jill writing books and exposing family secrets! They're especially afraid of Jim Bob, because he's in charge of money, and they're afraid of being financially cut off if they say anything bad about him and Josh! It's also possible that Jim Bob threatened to financially cut off Anna if she divorces Josh! IF he did, that's blackmail, and it's against the law!

[@Kirsten_is_cursed10]

Just got my copy!

[@joynkindness]

Their parents fears came to pass.... modern influence would destroy their family in some way. It has. I can relate. I was raised almost Amish. Positives and negatives in all things. M arr

[@karyndewit193]

What does ‘almost Amish’ mean?

[@KevinSmith-gu7fb]

@@karyndewit193 Mennonite maybe?

[@DoubleAFleaMarket]

Modern influence? I always thought it was the abuse, lies, manipulation, gaslighting that was the source of the destruction.

[@LisaKoffler]

There are 2 types of Amish - real and fake, and CULTS are fake!

[@gaylavogel4335]

I love this couple 🌟❤️🌟

[@LisaKoffler]

Me, too!

[@PsychologyMix]

Love Jill! She’s my favorite

[@LisaKoffler]

Mine, too!

[@gingercollier7949]

Interesting how Derrick keeps cutting her off when she’s talking. I’d like to read her book because how she met her husband was because her family had a reality show and her Dad. Also how much is just the normal kind of unhealthy relationship lots of parents have with their kids.

[@aliciak2633]

I noticed this too. But on almost all other interviews he gives her space to talk without cutting her off. I’m guessing he was having an off day. Or maybe too much coffee.

[@YRTheyDoingThis]

It’s his life too. I didn’t see anything wrong with it. That’s just the way some people communicate.

[@sheteg1]

I just listened to it on audible. She spills some tea. But not anything you don’t know already. Don’t waste ur money.

[@LisaKoffler]

The same things were said about Jinger's book!

[@capice7205]

What a shame, the parents made all that money and lost relationships with their kids. You couldnt pay me millions to ruin those relationships. Be careful of Greed!

[@LisaKoffler]

More than that! I came to believe that Jim Bob tried to destroy his 4 daughters' marriages, because their husbands "disagreed" with him! At least, Jill and Derick got therapy to save their own marriage!

[@NS.Katz5541]

Jill's parents don't think putting their life out there will help the family.... Well they didn't mind putting the adult kids out there especially their daughters the victims of Josh to protect him after the news came out about what Josh did to his them & the babysitter!!!!!

[@LisaKoffler]

Jim Bob and Michelle wanted to solve their family's problems privately, but they put themselves online, on social media, and on TV! When that happened, it became everyone's business! They used terrible judgment, and they're now paying a terrible price for it!

[@michele-kt]

With so many rules in this IBLP, you would think there would be a teaching that parents love their children unconditionally. I think it's horrendous that Jim Bob isn't more understanding, accepting, and supportive of Jill. Time to put your big boy pants on Jim Bob and reconnect with your daughter and to do everything you can to make the relationship work!

[@LisaKoffler]

The Duggars are part of Bill Gothard's IBLP cult instead of a REAL church! It's called FAKE Christianity! Cults don't teach anything "unconditional!" This cult is patriarchal, and that's why girls and women are treated so badly! Jim Bob is a bully and a control freak who's incapable of putting on "big boy pants," and trying to get along with Jill! It's very sad, but you can't force people to get along, because it's something people have to work out themselves!

[@kristinharding9160]

Wow, To imagine who this woman would have become if she had experienced real education,and been raised with the knowledge that she could do anything. And then to think that had her parents gotten her brother's perversion addressed when he was a kid- maybe he could have become a non-criminal adult. JimBob and Michelle Duggar's commitment to put their belief in God above all else has resulted in so many victims. It's hard to believe a God would want all the tragedy that they have unlocked.

[@LisaKoffler]

Bill Gothard founded his IBLP cult, and he makes the rules, and Jim Bob takes "orders" from him! It's patriarchal, and that's why girls and women are treated so badly! God Himself didn't hurt Jill, Bill Gothard did, along with her parents and Josh! Sadly, Josh was BORN "a bad seed," so he can't be rehabilitated! Thankfully, he's now in prison where he belongs!

[@MalloryNewcomb]

I don’t think it’s hard to imagine. I think that Jill has a natural caring and nurturing spirit: I think she probably would have gone to nursing school and become an RN. Not their belief in God: their belief in the cult like teachings of Bill Gothard and the IBLP. Let me just say Jesus would not condone the abuse they allowed to continue on. They made a huge mistake in how they handled that situation. The minimization makes me wonder if one of them went through it as teenagers. It is amazing to me because I bet that if one of the girls had a boyfriend that was pressuring her and touching her and against her wishes, they would have snapped up against that so quickly. I do believe Jim Bob will have to someday answer to a higher power for some of his actions in this life

[@LisaKoffler]

Absolutely! Jim Bob and Michelle grew up "normal" before joining Bill Gothard's IBLP cult instead of a REAL church! It's called FAKE Christianity! BOTH God and Jesus Christ HATE cults! Jim Bob said in an interview that Michelle had other boyfriends before she met him, and I also read something about Jim Bob and Michelle having premarital sex! IF they did, they're even WORSE hypocrites! Jim Bob, Michelle, and even Bill Gothard will have to answer to God when they die! As for Jill, she's extremely lucky to have Derick, and she SHOULD fulfill her own dreams - whether Jim Bob likes it or not!

[@Fouloul.]

He has to step in each time otherwise she won't stop talking. She can"t finish a sentence ! And she doesn't have anything interesting to say. Don't homeschool your kids folks !

[@MalloryNewcomb]

I really enjoy that blonde color. Whoever lifted her natural color did a really good job❤

[@private2765]

👏

[@Slakker79]

Jill along with her siblings were completely exploited and for people to say she should be thankful is absolutely ridiculous. And it’s sad you have to explain this to complete idiots.

[@Bob-sd8ns]

😢

[@DiaBelle]

All eager for money ! They'll all gonna publish books and have their own spin offs. They live out of drama.

[@LisaKoffler]

They're no longer on TV, and there's NO law against writing books!

[@DiaBelle]

@@LisaKoffler You reeeeally need to get a life!

[@statsclass1077]

She never made a single comment about it “nearly tearing their marriage apart”

[@WholeFoodSpark]

It’s in the article on People’s website

[@LisaKoffler]

It's NOT always possible to remember EVERYTHING when you write a book!

[@saramarshall2957]

They are getting even better looking at they get older

[@stephaniecarlin4703]

🤨 So, um, HOW did "her" reality shows "nearly [tear] her marriage apart? 🤔 I must have missed the part where Jill and Derrick said ANYTHING about their relationship with EACH OTHER. 🤔

[@katemiller-sq1ei]

Something slimy about Derek

[@stacylindee3637]

You should be able to live your own life's after all your both adults.its strange not to be able to watch TV growing up when you were younger being on tv.glsd the dillars.are doing what they want to.

[@Arabella--Leigh]

Jill is not saying how her husband was removed by TLC from the show for making homo phobic comments & talking against homosexuality, he was removed so Jill left too, would be interesting to read if she mentions this in her book

[@kinkycoiled]

She does talk about why they left the show

[@blakekaveny]

That’s not entitled accurate. It’s because they never once got paid from the show and refused to film.

[@aro4781]

That is not true. That narrative was to throw people off, digging into the real reason. Also, to be clear, the conservative Christian stand on homosexuality is 100% against it.

[@lindseysanders3656]

They didn’t leave the show/ or get kicked off the show because of comments Derick made. That was a cover/ public statement made by TLC. They had asked and then later left the show on their own. They were being forced to stay due to a contract they had no control over.

[@Arabella--Leigh]

@@lindseysanders3656 ALL LIES derrick was removed from the show

[@xqmeimitas]

I feel bad that the focus is the money they weren’t pay when the issue that interest me is how these cults manage to abuse little childre

[@mikewhite4560]

Hey Duggars, PLEASE KEEP QUIET. You can't have it BOTH WAYS!! Or CAN YOU?😅

[@ameliasr3404]

Jill is doing exactly what her dad did…..sad

[@BrattyPatriot]

Simple...........it's all about money.

[@LisaKoffler]

Money isn't the one and only reason people write books!

[@beethistlewinery6682]

it's strange the dynamic between the two of them. Derick frequently seems to think it okay to cut Jill off and spout his own version. Weird. She never cuts him off.

[@leaterry1504]

Derek is supporting her. He's allowed to speak.

[@KevinSmith-gu7fb]

I hate when people interrupt, but some people do it without thinking about it. My mom's always been bad about interrupting, but after years of pointing it out to her when she does it, she's finally gotten more aware of it and tries to be more considerate. It's just a habit for some people. They don't necessarily mean anything by it, but it's still rude, and it still needs to be minimized as much as possible.

[@beethistlewinery6682]

of course he's 'allowed' to speak, but he should wait for her to finish her own thoughts without blaring into them like an ignoramus. It makes it look as though he has little respect for her and what she has to say. He seems to think he can express it better.@@leaterry1504

[@beethistlewinery6682]

of course he's allowed to speak, but his body language and constant 'correcting' and adding to her story suggests he thinks he's superior to her, and it's totally annoying. I'd not permit that in my marriage.@@leaterry1504

[@christyb.2272]

After all the times we watched you in your midwifery position, I'm so surprised you would not have wanted your birth filmed. The births were always filmed using discretion, I feel. Why don't you practice midwifery after all the time you put into your studies and practice? I truly thought you would become a midwife and deliver babies.

[@DiaBelle]

Who cares about your "story"?!

[@LisaKoffler]

Duggar Fans, that's who!

[@DiaBelle]

@@LisaKoffler People who need to get a life!

[@LisaKoffler]

DiaBelle, we ALL need to get a life!

[@DiaBelle]

@@LisaKoffler You more than others.